March 7, 2014

This entry is part 3 of 8 in the North Star

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

— Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts


Robin poured herself a cup of steaming coffee and carried the mug to the break room table. She had a stack of charts that need notations and some paperwork on some patients that needed to be filled out and she thought the mindless work would put the evening out of her mind.

It wasn’t working yet, but she had high hopes.

She was in the middle of Sarah Winter’s release forms when the break room door swung open and Tony Jones entered. “Tony,” Robin smiled. She sat up and capped her pen. “Have you examined Noah Drake yet?”

Tony sighed and sat across from her. “In addition to the blacking out, he mentioned he’s been unusually tired lately. With his history of drinking…and his hands…” Tony held out his own palm, “His palms are red.”

Robin blinked and sat back. “Red palms. You think it’s…”

“It’s one of the common symptoms,” Tony agreed. “But the only way to be sure is to schedule a biopsy. Noah okayed it, but he’s a doctor–he knows what the possibilities are.”

Robin exhaled slowly. “Have you told his son yet?”

“No,” Tony slid the chart over to her. “I thought you might be able to break the news better–you two are friends and it might come better from someone he knows.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to refuse but Robin was a better person–a better doctor than that. She sighed. “If it is what we think it is, what do you think his chances are?”

Tony shook his head. “Until we do the biopsy, I can’t be sure but it wouldn’t surprise me if we were looking at end-stage. And then his best option is a transplant. Patrick’s a doctor, Robin, he’ll be able to connect the dots so it’ll be better if you just tell him straight out that we don’t know for sure and won’t until we do the biopsy tomorrow.”

Robin set her charts and paperwork aside. “I’ll go track him down. Might as well get it over with.”


She found him in the hospital cafeteria, sipping a can of soda. He himself was going over paperwork and for a moment, she considered telling Tony that she’d changed her mind and foist this on him.

But she squared her shoulders and crossed to his table. “Do you have a minute?”

Patrick glanced up and tossed his pen aside. “Robin. I didn’t know you were still at the hospital.” He started to stand but she gestured for him stay seated and then took the seat across from him. “Listen, about Carly–”

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Robin said immediately. “Not tonight, not tomorrow or ever. This isn’t about her.” Her eyes softened. “It’s about Noah.”

Patrick tensed. “Did his tests come back? What’s wrong?”

Robin bit her lip. “Tony’s scheduled a liver biopsy tomorrow to confirm his diagnosis but he thinks it’s cirrhosis.” She clasped her hands in her lap. “And from Noah’s symptoms and the more extensive blood work results, it might be end-stage.”

Patrick’s eyes darkened. “End stage liver disease.” He shook his head. “It shouldn’t surprise me. He finally gets sober and he’ll probably die waiting for a transplant.” He bowed his head for a moment and Robin wished she could say something to comfort him but could neither find the words nor the courage.

“It’s not final–Tony could be wrong,” she found herself saying instead. “It could be a lot of things–”

“Don’t placate me, Robin.” Patrick raised his eyes to meet hers and the look in them had sharpened–had focused. “There’s been a lot of success with partial transplants–with a living donor.”

“Yes,” Robin said hesitantly. She set her hands on the table and leaned in slightly. “But you shouldn’t think about that until we know for sure. It could the beginning stages–you know that can be treated with medication, staying sober. It doesn’t ever have to progress– ”

“But that’s the best case scenario.” Patrick sat back. “How soon can I be tested, to know if I could be a match?”

“Any time, I guess but–”

“Then let’s do it.” Patrick stood and gathered his paperwork.

“Patrick–it’s more complicated than that. It’s complicated procedure and the evaluation to be considered is extensive.” Robin stood as well. “It would be better to wait. You’ll have the results tomorrow. There are also doctors that have be called in and Noah might not even be a candidate for living donor transplant–” Against her better judgment, she put her hand on his forearm. “It’s better to have all the answers first.”

“It’s so easy for you,” Patrick said, the words ripping out impatiently. “It’s not your father who might be dying is it?”

Her lips parted in surprise at the unexpected attack and she let her hand drop to her side. “No, it’s not.” She dropped her lashes quickly to hide the hurt. “Tony can put you in touch with the necessary doctors.”

“Wait…” Patrick caught her arm as she turned to leave. “I’m sorry–you didn’t deserve that.” He spread his hands regretfully and shrugged. “I’m sorry for a lot of things.”

Sensing the direction of the conversation, Robin bit her lip so hard, she drew blood. “I told you I didn’t want to talk about that–”

“I know that you and Carly have a history–”

“I said,” Robin spat contemptuously, “I don’t want to talk about that. Not with you, not with anyone. You made your decision and I don’t care anymore. We’re not dating, we’re not even friends so you don’t have to explain or apologize.” Without waiting for his reaction, she turned and headed towards the exit, consciously making herself slow down. She didn’t want him to think she was running from him.

She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of thinking she gave damn.


Bobbie knocked lightly on Noah’s hospital door before pushing it open to see her ex stretched out across a hospital bed staring blankly at the wall. “I hope you don’t mind some company,” she murmured.

Noah turned his head towards her and managed a faint, if bitter, smile. “Not if it’s a beautiful redhead.” He fumbled for the bed remote and raised the head a little. “I feel a little stupid being in here–it was just a fall.”

Bobbie took a seat at the side of his bed. “Elizabeth mentioned it might be a bit more serious than that.” She reached for his hand. “I still think you of as a friend, Noah, no matter how things ended all those years ago.”

“Well, considering our history, that’s kind of you.” Noah hesitated. “It’s cirrhosis, or so they think. They’re doing the biopsy tomorrow to be sure.”

“Oh, Noah,” Bobbie murmured. “I’m so sorry. If there’s anything I can do…”

“Unless you’ve got an extra liver lying around…” Noah trailed off and shrugged. “I don’t want to talk about that. Let’s talk about you. What have you been doing all these years?”

Bobbie laughed, covering her worry as well as she could. “That would take too long so I should sum up. Your doctor is my ex-husband–one of them anyway.” She smiled ruefully. “I was married about four times in the last twenty years, none of which were successful naturally.” She tucked her hair behind her ears. “And that’s not counting the times I’ve been engaged. But I have two wonderful children and that makes up for all the disappointments.”

“Never pictured you as the maternal type.” Noah sat up a little more. “Boy? Girl?”

“One of each. Lucas is eighteen and he just started and college and Carly…is a roller coaster.”

Noah frowned. “Carly? As in…Carly Corinthos? That’s your daughter?”

“You know her?” Bobbie asked, surprised. “Did you meet her when Jason was having his surgery?”

“Yeah and my son knows her too.” Noah grimaced. “Apparently, your daughter is throwing some kinks into his…current project.”

“Yeah,” Bobbie sighed, resigned. “That sounds like Carly.”


Elizabeth tugged on a sweater and folded her scrubs into a neat pile to put into her oversize bag so she could take them home and launder them. “You finally heading home?”

Robin nodded and pulled her jacket out of her locker. “I have to be back at seven for my shift so that gives me…” she glanced at her watch, “about eight hours of sleep for once.”

“I’m not due back in until noon so I’m going to get some quality time in with Cameron.” Elizabeth sighed and buttoned her black pea coat up. “Lucky has to work though, I feel like I never see him anymore.”

“Welcome to the wonderful world of medicine,” Robin muttered. “Liz…” she glanced at her friend. “You wouldn’t have had any words with Dr. Drake about Carly, would you?”

Elizabeth flushed, somewhat guilty. “Well–he asked for it. I only told him the truth–that she’s a natural disaster and has a long list of victims in her path and there might have been something about her being trash in nice clothing but I didn’t get into specifics–oh, except for the part about her driving AJ to his death and destroying a few lives, but really–no details.”

“Well, I’m glad you left out the play by play. You don’t have to trash Carly for me,” Robin reached for her purse.

“Oh, I know, but it’s so much fun,” Elizabeth smirked. “Did you tell him about Noah?”

“Yes, and it was spectacularly bad,” Robin muttered. “That’ll teach me to be the better person and try to be compassionate. He snapped at me and then he tried to apologize and explain the Carly thing–like I really need to be told that there’s no commitment and he’ll date all the trashy blondes he wants.” She huffed. “What is it about her?”

“What is it about blondes in general, I wonder?” Elizabeth leaned against her locker. “I’ve been tossed over by two different men for two different blondes in the span of six months. You begin to wonder–is it me or my taste in men?” She shrugged. “Look, he’s not worth the effort and she’ll be back to running Sonny’s life in a few weeks or so, there’s not much point in muttering over it.” Her eyes lit up. “Hey, Nikolas is just getting out of his relationship with Courtney–you guys used to be real close–”

“I do not have the energy for that right now,” Robin laughed. “And I think Nikolas has enough on his plate what with his ex-wife and his girlfriend. But I appreciate the thought. I am just…so over the whole men, dating and relationship phase of my life.”

“You know…when you decide you’re done with the whole idea of love and happily ever after,” Elizabeth remarked, “that’s usually when it bites you in the ass.”

This entry is part 2 of 8 in the North Star

But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you

— Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts


Patrick shrugged off the strange conversations with Elizabeth and Robin and looked at his father. “So you fell.”

Noah cleared his throat and smiled at the intern who was finishing his sutures. “Yeah. I was in my room at the Metro Court and I blacked out.”

Patrick frowned, shoved his hands in his pockets. “But you weren’t drinking.”

“No, I told you that was all behind me.”

The intern finished Noah’s sutures and gave him some brief instructions before leaving the room. Noah reached for his coat but Patrick put his hand out to block it. “Why’d you black out if you weren’t drinking?”

“I don’t know.” Noah jerked a shoulder. “Low blood sugar, not eating. There are always reasons. Don’t worry about it. I’ll take a cab back to the hotel–”

“You’re not leaving here until we know what happened. So sit down.” Patrick waited until his father obeyed before going to speak to Noah’s doctor.


“You didn’t run anything more than a basic blood test,” Patrick all but snarled as he tossed the test in question at Robin.

She blinked and reached for it. “He fell. I didn’t even need to run that but I thought you’d–” Robin pressed her lips together. “I’m not required to run anything more than that. Noah said he fell, we stitched him up. I don’t know what you’re getting at.”

“He said he blacked out and as soon as you knew it wasn’t alcohol related, you should have–”

“Wait just one second–he never said anything like that to me.” She looked at Elizabeth who was studiously ignoring the both of them as she made some notations in a chart. “Did he tell you that?”

“No.” Elizabeth fiddled with the cap on her pen. “But if he did, he’s going to need to be admitted for tests.” Her eyes darted back and forth between the two doctors. “I’ll…just…get started on that.” She picked up Noah’s chart and all but fled from the nurse’s station.

“We’ll get him admitted and get some tests run.” Robin sighed and decided it was better to be a doctor than to be a woman scorned. “I’m sorry but he never said anything like that. When he said he fell, I just thought it might be related to…and I thought if I ran the blood test, at least you’d know for sure.”

Patrick rubbed the back of his neck. “Well. Thanks. ” He leaned forward. “What was that about earlier? You seemed…off.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Robin said innocently.

“Don’t be stupid, Scorpio. It doesn’t look good on you. I mean about the deep freeze.” He crossed his arms on the counter and leaned closer. “I thought we had a good time last night.”

“We did and we agreed that would be the end of it. You’d stop…this…” Robin gestured with hands. “This whatever and we’d get on with our lives. I’d go back to…whatever and you’d get on with your next conquest.”

“We didn’t agree on anything. You stated that before the evening got started and I was under the impression that we had a good time after that.”

“What exactly did you think would happen, Patrick?” Robin asked coolly. “You stop acting like an arrogant jerk for five minutes and…what? I’d fall into your arms?” She snorted.

Patrick frowned. “I’m not following you. I thought you’d at least be open to the suggestion of another date.”

Robin hesitated. But before she could even begin to think about it, the elevators doors beeped, slid open and Carly stepped out. “Patrick,” she smiled. “You left the restaurant so quickly that I thought I’d make sure nothing was wrong.”

And just like that, Robin remembered. She shook her head. “For once, Carly, you showed up just in time.”

Carly pursed her lips. “Don’t tell me you abandoned me for Princess over here.” She tossed her back and for a moment, Robin wanted to rip it out. “She’s not worth your time.”

“Carly, this isn’t a good time,” Patrick began.

“No, it’s perfect actually. Just perfect.” Robin picked up stack of charts. “I’ll get started on those tests and as for the other thing, you can go to hell.” She stalked away.

Carly shook her head. “I don’t know why you’re wasting your time with her.” She leaned in toward him and didn’t notice the way he slightly leaned away. “She can’t give you what I can.”

Patrick stepped back. “I think you’d better tell me exactly why you and Robin don’t get along.”


“I don’t know why we’re going to all this trouble,” Noah sighed as Elizabeth started to hook up some monitors. She reached for the IV kit. “Do I have to have one of those?”

“For a doctor, you’re really a bit whinier than I would have expected,” but Elizabeth was smiling as she said it. “At any rate, it was your son that convinced Robin that you need some further testing. If I were you, I’d take it as a good sign and go along with it.”

“Yeah, I guess it is a good sign but I don’t know why he’s bothering. We haven’t gotten along in years,” Noah sighed. He grimaced when Elizabeth slid the needle into his skin. “I hate these things.”

“I haven’t seen my parents in almost ten years,” Elizabeth murmured. “They show almost no interest in me or my son and didn’t even reply to the invitation to my wedding.” She met Noah’s eyes. “But I’d like to think that if anything happened to one of them, I’d step up to the plate. He’s reaching out to you, Dr. Drake, in the only way he knows how.”

“And getting some torture in while he’s at it,” Noah muttered as he held up his arm with the plastic tubing hanging off it. “So, tell me. What has my son done that’s got your back up?”

“He’s an idiot,” Elizabeth replied. She made some marks on his chart. “He finally got Robin to go out with him and then she sees him with Carly the next day. I’m just saying–it doesn’t show a lot of character on his part but maybe that’s okay with him. Maybe it really was all about the challenge. But if that’s true, he should have left her alone.” Elizabeth closed his chart. “Because she’s got enough to deal with without being tossed over for a blonde again. I know how she feels.”

“Again.” Noah leaned back against his pillow. “Robin’s got history with this Carly, then.”

“The same kind of history we have with the Indians,” Elizabeth said sourly. “Carly destroyed her life, Jason’s life, Michael’s life…and somehow managed to walk away with everything she ever wanted. And all Robin got was a kick in the ass as she left town. I can’t imagine why it would upset her that Patrick pursued her and then went after Carly.” She shook her head. “Dr. Jones is the attending on call. He’ll be in to talk about what tests you’ll need.”


Carly snorted. “Robin doesn’t like me because she’s knows I’m better than her.” She shrugged. “Jason chose me over the pasty princess and she decided to get back at the both of us by ruining our lives and my son’s life. She’s a vindictive bitter bitch who’ll get what’s coming to her one day–”

“Oh, giving Patrick your life story?” Elizabeth asked, stepping into the nurse’s station. “Noah’s set up and Tony Jones will be his primary doctor if you want to talk to him.”

“Oh, if it isn’t the other damsel in distress. It doesn’t surprise me that you back Robin up.” Carly stepped towards her old nemesis. “You’re both little weaklings that couldn’t survive in my life–”

“No, we’re just women who didn’t exactly appreciate the grip you have on Jason’s…” Elizabeth coughed delicately, “…life.” She looked at Patrick. “If you deal with Carly, then you deserve what you get.”

“I am out of here. There is just too many of you little angels running around. It’s making me nauseous.” Carly stormed towards the elevators and jammed at the buttons.

Patrick looked to Elizabeth. “So you’re another of Jason’s women, then?”

“And someone else that Carly drove out of his life.” Elizabeth’s smile was bitter. “Don’t believe a word she says because she always makes herself out to be better. She came to this town to destroy her mother and along the way, she drove AJ Quartermaine to his death, Tony Jones to a breakdown, destroyed Robin and Jason and nearly destroyed her son and that’s only some of the casualties Hurricane Carly has left behind. She’s nothing more than trash in classy clothing.” She jerked a shoulder. “Noah’s in Room 226.”

This entry is part 1 of 8 in the North Star

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road

— Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts


Robin pushed open the door to the Metro Court restaurant and scanned the dining patrons. Patrick’s answering service had directed her here and she wanted to be the one to tell him that Noah had been brought in General Hospital after taking a bad fall. She didn’t think he would want to hear it on the hospital grapevine that his father may have been drinking.

“Have you seen Dr. Patrick Drake?” she asked a passing waiter.

“He’s on the terrace with Mrs. Corinthos.” The waiter gestured to the French doors a few feet away. He then proceeded on with his tray to a table but Robin had already forgotten about him. She had a clear view of the two through the clear glass and could see them standing close. Too close.

It shouldn’t have surprised her–she had told him that their date was it and the next day, he would move on to his next conquest. But that had been before. And she’d never dreamed he’d move on to Carly.

But that shouldn’t have surprised her either.

Robin squared her shoulders and stepped over the bar. “Do you have paper I can use to write a note?” she asked the bartender.

The bartender reached under the counter and pulled out a Metro Court Hotel pad. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” Robin took a pen from her purse and jotted down a few words. “When Mrs. Corinthos comes back in from the terrace, can you give this to the man with her? He’s a doctor and it’s important that he gets this message.”

“Sure thing.”

“Thanks.” Robin put the pen back in her purse and walked back to the lobby–without looking to the terrace again.


“I should get back to the hospital,” Patrick remarked as he led Carly back into the restaurant. “My shift starts soon.”

“Well….” Carly tossed back her hair and smiled brightly at him. “We’ll have to do this again sometime.”

“Dr. Drake?” the bartender called. “Someone left a message for you.” She held up the folded note.

“I hope it’s nothing bad,” Carly called as Patrick crossed the room and took the paper from the bartender.

He slid it open and frowned over the words. “I have to go.” He grabbed his coat from the table and left the room without another word to Carly.


“Dr. Drake’s blood tests came back,” Elizabeth said, handing the results to Robin. “Good news–he’s clear.”

Robin exhaled slowly. “Good, good. So we’ll just stitch him up and send him home.” She shuffled some charts and tried to look busy.

“Are you okay?” Elizabeth asked. “You’ve been acting oddly since you got back from your break. Did something happen?”

“Nothing that should shock or upset me if I were thinking clearly,” Robin muttered. She closed a chart and looked at Elizabeth. “Do I have gullible stamped on my forehead?”

“Not the last time I checked–what happened?” Elizabeth touched her arm. Her face sobered. “Is this about, ah…you know who?”

“I should have known better, that’s all. I knew it about the challenge, about the fact that I kept refusing him–I should have known, that’s all.” She slammed a chart down with a loud thud. “I went to the Metro Court to tell him about Noah, I thought–” she huffed. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Yeah, I’ve been there before. Seeing things you don’t want to see and thinking the worst about them.” Elizabeth leaned against the counter. “So, Patrick was on a date?”

“I don’t know about a date but–” Robin shook her head. “It’s stupid and it’s been years and I shouldn’t let it get to me but he was with Carly and I just remembered when Jason…” She dragged her hands through her hair. “I’m not going to do this anymore, I’m just not.”

“Hey, hey–look, if it’s any consolation, Carly’s never gonna concentrate on anyone other than Sonny or Jason for more than five minutes at a time. If she is looking at Patrick, she’s got an angle, okay?”

“Yeah, I know that–it’s just…” Robin looked at her. “It’s Carly. That’s all. Jason slept with her and he let her destroy our relationship because he loved her son. She’s like a hurricane–she destroys anything and everyone in her path and I’m not going to give her that power again. I refuse. With Jason, it was different. I loved him, we’d had a history. But this time–” She squared her shoulders. “As far as I’m concerned, Patrick Drake is persona non grata.”

As if on cue, the elevators slid open and Patrick ambled out of them. “You left a message, Dr. Scorpio?” he asked, leaning against the counter.

“Your father fell down a flight of stairs and bumped his head. He’s being stitched up and needs a ride home,” Robin said flatly. “You’re his next of kin.”

Patrick grimaced and looked away. “I knew he wouldn’t make it–how much alcohol did he have?” he asked, almost resigned.

“None. His blood work was clear. He’s in curtain three. Liz, can you take him there?” Robin grabbed some folders and stalked away.

“Well, she’s in a mood,” Patrick remarked as a stony Elizabeth led the way to the examination area.

“Why, because she’s not falling all over herself because of your charm and good looks?” Elizabeth asked dryly. She drew open the curtain to reveal an intern putting sutures in Noah Drake’s forehead. “Next time, remember that no means no and not everyone is just dying to get to know you.”

She walked away and muttered something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like jerk.

Patrick frowned after her before turning his attention to his father who had a weak smile. “What’re you smiling about?” he asked darkly.

“Women. Sooner or later, the charm backfires,” Noah remarked.

March 6, 2014

I had not intended to update Shadows in the middle of the week, but I had originally planned to write the story in two very long parts (the first was more than 8000 words), but as I was writing the second part, the conversations between Jason and Elizabeth became excessive, haha, so I stopped it fter about 5000, since I know the rest of the story is going to be long as well.

You can click the featured banner (which counts clicks and I can see how often it gets read), or click Shadows, Part 2, to read more.

The first batch of Daughters chapters are almost ready, so I’ll be posting Part 3 of Shadows on Sunday or Monday, as planned, and then Daughters the next week, but if you read fanfiction at The Road to Nowhere, I’ll probably be posting the six chapters there over the next few weeks, separately, before archiving them there.

In other site news, I haven’t done nearly as much moving as I had intended. I started moving North Star, but didn’t finish. If a title of a story is in bold and you cannot click on it, it either means I haven’t moved it yet, or that it’s coming soon.  I plan to finish moving the stories ASAP, but I keep getting distracted with, actual writing. PLUS! Ha. I’m in grad school in London, and occasionally I have to do work for that, including a massive 15,000 word dissertation on the legislation of Two Acts in the British Parliament in 1795. So…you can imagine how much fun that is compared with writing.

Enjoy, everyone and dude…thank you so much for remembering me and reading my stories again. Liason fans have always been the best!

This entry is part 2 of 3 in the Shadows

1
I will be the answer
At the end of the line
Sunday, April 2, 2004

New Orleans, Garden District: Chestnut Street House

He found her sitting in an almost empty room, with nothing but a chair propped by a window that overlooked some the slightly overgrown gardens. “Hey.”

Elizabeth twisted in her chair and smiled wanly at him. “Hey. I was just trying to find the best room to…” She shrugged. “I don’t know…sit around in for long periods of time.” She got to her feet. “It’s going to be weird being all on my own here. Back home, I was alone a lot, but I could have called my grandmother or Emily.” She sighed and cast her eyes back to the gardens. “Not much of an option here.”

Jason stepped towards her. “You look better than the day I first visited you in Port Charles,” he told her. “Your color’s coming back.”

“After that horrible doctor’s appointment,” Elizabeth said slowly, “where Dr. Meadows threatened to admit me for observation unless I started taking care of myself, I don’t think I thought about what I was doing to my son.” She braced her hand against the small of her back. “I wasn’t eating, I wasn’t sleeping. There were days I stayed in bed and just stared at the ceiling.”

“I wish…” Jason hesitated. “I wish that you felt like you could have come to me on your own. That you could have talked to me about all of this.”

“I know.” Elizabeth walked towards the entryway, back to the furnished living room with Jason following her. “But I couldn’t tell anyone. You’re the only one who knows what happened that night in the hotel,” she admitted. She glanced back at him. “I only told Ric that Zander had the papers and threatened me.”

Jason shoved his hands into the pocket of his jacket. “Why not?”

She sank onto the sofa and clasped her hands in what was left of her lap. “I don’t know…Maybe I wasn’t sure Ric wouldn’t have agreed with Zander on a few things.” Her brow furrowed, she paused for only a minute. “About why I was with Ric in the first place,” she murmured.

Because she couldn’t be with him. Jason cleared his throat and sat across from her in an armchair. “I don’t want you to feel alone down here,” he said, noting that his change of subject released some of the tension in her expression. “I’m going to call you at least once every other day, every day if I can manage it without looking strange. If people in the town buy the story Ric and I tried to set up—that you left him, that I’m helping you to set up a new life somewhere far away from him, then it won’t look odd if I stay involved.”

“Okay,” Elizabeth agreed. She stretched her hands out. “How did it go with AJ? Can you talk about it?”

“Yeah.” Jason leaned back, letting his head fall against the chair as he looked at the ceiling. “Yeah. He looked…sober.” He scrubbed his hands across his face. “He offered me the contact information for his sponsor so I could verify that he goes to meetings often.”

“That’s good, then.” Elizabeth smiled hesitantly. “I know Emily and Monica will be relieved to know he’s doing so well.”

“He asked me if I was there to apologize for claiming paternity of Michael,” Jason said quietly. He looked at her. “I didn’t know how to answer him.”

Are you sorry?” Elizabeth asked. “You never used to think about what-ifs.”

“I didn’t see the point in constantly wishing you had done something differently,” he answered almost absently. “Things were what they were. People did what they did, and they couldn’t take it back. You had to deal with what was in front of you.”

“That was always the major difference between us,” she said, almost wistfully. “I constantly think about what could have been. I’ll think of a moment and think…if I could just go back to that moment in time, there were a thousand things I could have done differently.” She sighed.  “But I think you have the better outlook. There is no point in wishing you could change the past, you should take what you’ve learned and do better.” She wrinkled her nose, and for a moment, looked as young and carefree as she used when they’d meet on the docks and she’d show him paintings or they’d take rides. “Of course, that kind of stuff is always easier said than done.”

“So…what do you think you’ve learned?” Jason asked.

“I tihnk…” Elizabeth pursed her lips. “I think I’ve learned that it’s always better to trust your gut instinct, and not protect yourself from the truth, and to remember that just because someone lets you down once or twice, or even a few times, it doesn’t make them less reliable.” Her eyes found his and her expression was somber. “It doesn’t mean you’re not still friends, deep under the hurt and pain.  I’ve learned that you should trust yourself first, and if you can’t…” She shrugged. “Then you should figure out why and do better.”

“That’s a lot to learn,” Jason said, almost amused. “I’m not sorry that I claimed paternity of Michael,” he said. “Because there’s no way to know if knowing about Michael would have kept AJ from drinking. He might have crashed a car with him inside, like he did with me.” He hesitated. “I amsorry that it created more problems than it solved, that it hurt Robin, it hurt Michael, I know it hurt Emily and Monica, and Lila.”

“And you got that wonderful year with him,” Elizabeth said with a smile.

“Yeah.” Jason’s smile was more genuine now. “And it was worth it.” He rubbed his hands on his denim-clad thighs. “I’m going to tell Carly she should work out a custody agreement with AJ, that Michael deserves the opportunity to make up his mind about his father without anyone else telling him what they think.”

“Do you think that will help matters with Sonny?” she asked. “I know it must be difficult to be so at odds with him.”

“I guess it’s because I thought…when I arranged for Carly and Sonny to have custody of Michael, to really remove myself from Michael’s life that way…” Jason paused. “I thought I was making the best choice, that he could have a real family, but Sonny and Carly have been apart more than they’re together, Morgan hasn’t known a moment’s peace his entire life…” He shook his head. “I hope this helps bring Sonny into reality. There isn’t a judge in the world that will give him full custody.”

“I hope so, too.” She hesitated. “So, what’s good to eat in New Orleans? I haven’t had dinner yet.”

2
I will be there for you
While you take the time
Monday, April 3, 2004

Jason’s Penthouse

Carly sat gingerly on the sofa, clasped her hands together tightly. “So he was sober.” She nodded, more to herself than to Jason. “That’s good.”

“Carly.” He sat next to her and took her hands in his. “I think Michael should find out what AJ is like for himself, make his own decisions.”

“It’s not that…” Carly swallowed hard. “It’s not that I don’t see your point, Jason, I just…I’ve spent Michael’s entire life keeping him from AJ, and now I have to face the fact I may have…” She exhaled a laugh that sounded more like a sob. “No, I know the truth. I was wrong. The AJ that left town last fall…was not the man I knew when Michael was conceived. He was drunk that night, but he was sober for a long time afterward.” She rubbed her forehead. “But I was still so swept up in Tony and in you, and I was so goddamn selfish…”

“Carly…”

“And I took Michael away. I gave him to you, I gave him to Sonny, as if he were this toy I could give to the man of the moment.” She shook her head. “But I never…I never once gave AJ the chance to see if he could be a good father.” She opened her eyes and looked at Jason, tears sliding down her cheeks. “I allowed a man who treats me like a child when things are good, and like a whore when things are bad…I allowed that man to be a father to my children.”

“I don’t…” Jason hesitated. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Carly. You made your choices. You can’t change them. You just…” He smiled, just a little. “You take what you’ve learned and do better.”

“That sounds so much like you.” Carly sighed and stood, pacing to the desk. She turned and looked at him. “It sounds like you used to. You always told me to stop planning, to stop plotting, to stop trying to think fifteen steps ahead of what was happening now. Well, Jase, I’m not planning or plotting anymore. I’m just trying to get up every day and do better than I did the day before.”

“So,” she continued after a long moment. “I think you should give me AJ’s contact information. I want to go down and see him. Not because I don’t trust you, but because there’s some things I think I should say to him and we should work this out between us—”

“Not that I don’t agree with you on that, Carly,” Jason interrupted, “but I think I should go down with you. There are…other things I have to see to.”

Carly tilted her head to the side. “That’s where you took Elizabeth.” When Jason just stared at her, she huffed. “Everyone knows she left Ric last week, and you told me there was something you needed to do. You disappeared for four days at the same time.” Se planted her hands on her hips. “So, you helped her get out, to get away from him. Why do you need to go back? Can’t she stand on her own two feet?”

“Carly, I really don’t feel like going another round with about Elizabeth right now.” Jason rubbed the back of his neck. “You know Elizabeth and I are friends—”

“I know you were friends,” Carly cut in. “I know that I watched her on those screens Ric had in the panic room. I’d say I know her pretty well, and it was just bad timing she had the embolism right after she found me. I felt sorry for her, for being manipulated by him, so I was glad when she divorced him.” She pursed her lips. “But she went back to him. She remarried him. She was going to raise her child with him—”

“Carly, are you perfect?” Jason said quietly.

She closed her mouth. “Jason—”

“You turned Sonny in to the Feds. You seduced your mother’s husband. When you just list all the mistakes a person’s made without any…” He stopped. “Carly, you don’t know what was going through Elizabeth’s mind. You should know better than anyone else in the world how easy it can be to justify actions inside your own head.”

Carly looked down at the floor and sighed. “It annoys the crap out of me when you have a point, Jason. It really does.” She rolled her shoulders. “Fine. You and Elizabeth are the unstoppable love story of the century. Whatever. I will never understand the attraction, but I guess..” She heaved an exaggerated heavy sigh. “I guess it’s not really my business.”

It wasn’t worth it to correct Carly about her assumptions of any romance between he and Elizabeth. Her agreement to stay out of his life—at least for the moment—was worth any misunderstandings. “Fine. About New Orleans—”

“Sonny and I are due back in court in two weeks,” Carly said. “So I’ll want to go down this weekend, to get AJ to agree to testify. If you would like to tag along to check on…whatever, that would be your prerogative.”

3
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Garden District: Chestnut Street House

The room overlooking the gardens had become Elizabeth’s sanctuary.  She had had one of the guards drag some of the furniture from an overstuffed living room, and reluctantly agreed to use some of the money Jason set aside to create a sitting room where she could feel a sense of peace. It was in the back of the house, overlooking a gorgeous garden that must have been carefully landscaped once, but now the tulips, lillies, roses and other assorted wildflowers had broken free of their assigned plots and she thought the overgrown view of it was…better.

It wasn’t perfect, and it was okay, anyway.

It had been nearly a month since Jason had shown up at her front door, since he had listened while details of that horrible night with Zander had tumbled from her lips, and still…he had never looked disgusted or annoyed, or angry. He’d only been concerned.

 “Elizabeth, you obviously believe the things Zander said to you, and I don’t know if there’s anything I can say to you to change your mind, to see you the way I see you.”

She had clung to those words, hoping that one day, when she felt better, she could ask him what he’d meant. What did he see when he looked at her?

With the distance from Port Charles, Elizabeth could remember the fear that had coursed through her veins when Zander wouldn’t let her go. He had been out of control, she knew that, and maybe her emotions had been more ramped up because of the hateful things he had been saying, but still…she knew the next day, there had been bruises on her arm from where he’d held her.

Maybe it had not been fully self-defense, but maybe…just maybe, it hadn’t been just to make him stop talking. And if that was true, if it was both at once, where did that leave her? She was still responsible for his death, for his not being alive, but she hadn’t…she hadn’t wanted that.

Maybe she could find her way out of the guilt and the horror of the last few months, and concentrate on her child.

She turned to the stack of letters Jason had mailed her. Emily and Audrey had written her, relieved that she’d left Ric, worried about her and the baby, hopeful that she would get in touch with them soon. Lucky had written her as well, confused as to why she’d go to Jason for help. He and Nikolas would have gotten her out of town if that’s what she needed. She’d just had to say the word.

And then there was the last letter…from Ric.

She knew the people in her life hadn’t understood their marriage in December, had barely understood the first one in May. There were moments she closed her eyes, remembered the horror of finding Carly in that panic room, and then remembered she’d invited Ric back into her life again afterward.

And she knew it had been a mistake, even as she had done so. There had been no anticipation, no excitement as they had said their vows, only a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was on her way to her second divorce before the first anniversary of their first marriage.

She slid the letter out of the envelope and read Ric’s declarations of love, of how difficult it was to listen to people speculate  about Elizabeth leaving him, and going to Jason for help, but that it had worked. No one was saying her name and Zander’s in the same breath. The case was going cold again, Mac had made some weak attempts to solve it, but there was always another crime to solve.

He loved her and looked forward to her coming home, hopefully before the baby came. He hoped she could find a way to write him without ruining the ruse.

She set the letter aside, troubled. Everyone in her life wanted her to leave Ric, and honestly…she knew it was true, that while they did love one another, it wasn’t healthy. She had stayed with him to prove that she didn’t walk out when it got tough, had not believed the awful things people said about him initially because she had never believed what they said about Jason. People did not know the Ric she saw. They were different when they were alone.

She stood from the sofa and crossed to the windows, smiling wistfully. If this were actually her home, if she were planing to raise her son here, she’d put a bench in the garden, so she could sit out in the sunlight and sketch.

But this house was temporary, a place for her to gather her courage and her strength, and attempt to put the pieces back together. She was terrified of being alone.

But if that fear led her to stay with a man like Ric…

It was okay if people didn’t see the Ric she knew. Love could be private and still be real. It had been with Jason, though she doubted he ever knew the depth of her feelings, and she didn’t care to speculate if his had matched. The problem with Ric was that the man everyone else saw, the man who was capable of the worst kind of violence…

She could excuse Jason’s actions, understanding they were part of a life that people chose and if people were careful, there were rarely any casualties. But Ric…he had pretended to sleep with Carly, had convinced Courtney to marry him, had lured Sonny to Martha’s Vineyard, slept with Faith…

He kidnapped Carly and held her hostage. Had drugged Elizabeth so they could not conceive their own children while he was awaiting Sonny’s child to kidnap. And she wasn’t stupid—had Ric’s plan unfolded as he had wanted, Carly would have been disposed of after she’d served her purpose.

His list of crimes, of the devastation he wreaked was so terrible, that standing here, when she stopped ignoring them, she almost couldn’t remember why she’d loved him in the first place.

4
I will hold the balance
If you can’t look down
Thursday, June 3, 2004

New Orleans, Uptown District: AJ’s Apartment

Jason watched as AJ took Michael’s overnight bag and directed him to a guest room. After Carly’s first visit to New Orleans, she had reluctantly agreed with Jason’s assessment. She had contacted her divorce lawyer to draw up papers so that AJ could testify in her case with Sonny and begin the necessary paperwork to reverse the termination of his rights.

Sonny had been devastated, and had offered Carly shared custody of the boys immediately, hoping to reverse her decision. But Carly had recognized what Jason had understood. Michael was growing up and they would all have to justify their actions. She told him if AJ was open to it, Sonny would remain a part of Michael’s life, but that she was going to do what she could do to resolve one of her worst moments. She was going to let AJ be a father to Michael.

AJ had flown to Port Charles long enough for the hearings and paperwork to be signed. Had met with Michael. They spoke on the phone a few times a week, and now, for the first time since Michael was a small child, AJ was going to have an entire week with his son.

Jason had agreed to do the drop-off, wanting an excuse to check in on Elizabeth. They spoke a few times a week on the phone and he had daily reports from her guard. Elizabeth’s health was good, her demeanor seemed better, but he wasn’t convinced, and he wasn’t sure she wasn’t pretending.

AJ reappeared. “He’s setting up his laptop and unpacking,” he said, trying to contain his broad grin. “I can’t…” he cleared his throat, and looked away, trying to maintain his composure. “I can’t believe he’s really here.”

“I’m glad he’s getting this opportunity,” Jason said after a moment. He was unsure what to say, how to act with this man who was his brother, but yet, a stranger. “AJ…”

“Jase…” AJ held up a hand. “I know. I won’t screw this up. I’ve dreamed about this for years and now that I have it, nothing is going to—”

“I know you won’t mess it up,” Jason interrupted. “I was going to say…” He hesitated. “When Michael began asking questions about you, I think I understood for the first time how it looked from the outside, how it would look to him, the way we had almost traded fathers around. From Tony, to you, to me, to you, and to Sonny, as if there was something wrong with him, that none of these people bothered to stay around.” He paused. “I realized that we were going to have explain those years to him in a way that made sense, and honestly, I couldn’t.”

AJ sank onto the sofa, his eyes still on his younger brother. “I know what you mean, because the time is going to come when I have to explain to my son that I was a fall down drunk that no one trusted enough to rely on. Had I been any other kind of man, from any other family, maybe Carly—”

“She thought you were going to screw up her chance with Tony,” Jason cut in. “And that the Quartermaines were going to take Michael away. What she did actually had very little to do with you as a person, but the reason I agreed…” The truth of it made him almost ill. “The reason I agreed is because I didn’t particularly give a damn about you, beyond being related to Lila and Emily.”

“Yeah, Jase…” AJ sighed. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me. I always figured you had agreed because Carly asked, and you didn’t care enough to say no. But I did that to you. I crashed the car and changed your life.” He stood. “We can’t ever go back and change it, but I should tell you…” He pressed lips together. “You were a good father to him, and I know the way he turned out is in large part because of you in his life, so in the interests of Michael, maybe we could just leave the past in the past.” He held out a hand.

And to Jason’s surprise, taking the offered hand didn’t feel odd or even wrong. Despite AJ’s many transgressions, Jason’s hadn’t been much better. Neither of them could claim superiority.

“I hope that you don’t…” Jason looked away. “That you don’t blame yourself for the accident anymore. I have a good life, AJ. It took a while to get there, but I did. So I don’t blame you.”

AJ closed his eyes. “Thank you,” he said quietly.

5
If it takes my whole life
I won’t break, I won’t bend
Saturday, June 5, 2004

Garden District: Chestnut Street House

Elizabeth considered the distance from the floor to the table where she wanted to prop her feet. Any movement in her ninth month of pregnancy felt like a major decision, and all pros and cons needed to be weighed.

But her feet hurt, so she leaned back against the sofa and began the process.

Jason glanced up from the other end of the sofa where he’d been reading a travel book, his lips curved into a smile. “You want some help with that?”

“I want to say no because I think you’re mocking me, but…” she sighed, and closed her eyes. “If you could.”

He set the book down on the couch, and leaned forward, grasping her legs at the calves and gently lifting them so she was propped up on the coffee table. “You want a pillow?”

“No.” Elizabeth opened her eyes and looked at him. “You’re staying the whole week for Michael, aren’t you? In case he doesn’t want to stay.”

“Yes,” Jason admitted. He picked up the book—on Croatia, she noted—and flipped a page. “But I don’t think he will. Michael seemed to get along with him, and they were both excited about seeing some of the sights.” He eyed her. “And you’re about twelve seconds from labor, so I thought I’d stick around through your due date next week, if that’s okay.”

“Again, I want to say no…” Elizabeth rested her hands on her abdomen. “These last two months, away from Port Charles and all that baggage…” she blew out a breath. “This has meant the world to me, you know.”

“You look good,” Jason said. “You don’t look…I don’t know…” he hesitated. “Unhappy.”

“I think…I’m beginning to accept that what happened that night with Zander, when he died,” she said in a halting tone, “doesn’t have to define my life. I don’t have to punish myself for a single moment of fear.” Twisting her wedding ring on her finger. “I think I had let myself forget that, sitting back at home, constantly surrounded by memories of that night. I forgot that I was terrified, that he had this look in his eyes that I had never seen before, not even on his worst days.”

“The case is pretty cold,” Jason said after a moment. “You could probably come home if you wanted to.”

She closed her eyes. “People still think I left Ric. They must wonder if I’m filing for divorce.”

“I don’t…” He scratched the corner of his eyebrow. “I don’t listen to much gossip, but yeah, I guess people assumed you might have. To avoid your son being born into the marriage, which could complicate things.”

“Yeah…” Elizabeth pursed her lips. “It would complicate things.” She turned her head and met his eyes. “I haven’t just been trying to move past my guilt about Zander. I’ve been…” she licked her lips. “I’ve really been thinking about my marriage, and my choices to stay with Ric. To marry him both times.”

Jason tapped the page, and she could see him warring with the desire to ask her to elaborate, but not wanting to push. And she wondered if he really wanted to have this conversation.

“To be honest, Jason,” she said slowly, “the first time I married him, I used a lot of the arguments with myself that I had always used with other people about you.” When the skin around his mouth tightened, she continued. “I always figured that people had no right to judge you when they didn’t really know you, they didn’t see you the way I did.” She turned her back towards her views of the garden. “They weren’t there the night you sat with a girl who wasn’t much more than your little sister’s friend and let her pour out her heart over her dead boyfriend, or that you taught me how to live with my memories and not let them drown me.” She sighed. “So when Taggart or my grandmother would ridicule me for being your friend, I just told them to shove it, because you weren’t the man they said you were.”

“So, when I warned you about Ric,” Jason said after a moment. “You thought that you owed him the same loyalty—”

“In a way,” she agreed. “You have to understand something, Jason. Ric is…” She hesitated. “He’s charming in a way that doesn’t feel slick, which makes it hard not to believe him. And I was…I was vulnerable.” She looked at him. “I wanted to matter to someone, and it seemed like I mattered to him.”

Jason put the book aside, and sat up. “And you didn’t think you mattered to me anymore,” he said quietly.

“No,” she confirmed, never looking away from him. “And after I knew the terrible things he had done, I pulled away from him. Then I found out I was pregnant.” She closed her eyes, remembering the brief life that had been snuffed out. “I was waitress who lived in a crappy studio that didn’t even have its own bathroom, and I was so alone, you know. I thought I only had one choice, but Carly talked me out of it, so when Ric came around, promising that he was done with his hatred for Sonny, promising me that our child was important to him, that we could have a family…” A tear slid down her cheek. “I wanted it so much. I didn’t want to be alone.”

“I get all of that, I really do, Elizabeth.” Jason leaned forward. “But you knew the second time you married him what he was capable of, what he did to Carly—” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Christ, what he did to you—”

“I know, but…” She struggled to sit up, and he leaned over to help put her feet on the ground. “Jason, I found myself in exactly the same position I had been before. I was pregnant again, this time by a man whose life was spinning out of control, and I was so…” her voice broke. “I was so alone, and Ric…he was always there. He kept…telling me how much he loved me, and that he wanted to get help, he wanted to be a better person. After everything I’d been through with Lucky…and…” Her voice faltered, “you…I just didn’t want to be alone.” She twisted the hem of her shirt in her fingers. “I can’t…I can’t explain it better than that, because most of the time, I don’t understand.”

“Elizabeth…” She glanced up, and instead of the disappointment she had expected, Jason’s eyes were filled with sorrow and concern. “There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be alone, with wanting someone to love you. You deserve someone who loves you.” He hesitated. “For the sake of argument, let’s put the things Ric did aside…I think that he does love you, Elizabeth. I don’t want to admit it, but he didn’t care that people would think you’d come to me for help to get away from him.”

“But?” she prompted, knowing it was coming.

“But you know you can’t trust him.” He took her hands in his. “If you could, you would have told him what Zander said to you. That Zander accused you of only being with men who reminded you of me. But you didn’t tell him.”

“No,” Elizabeth exhaled. “No, I did not. Partly because I don’t trust Ric. But also, because it’s true.” She looked down at her intertwined hands. “I do love Ric, but I started seeing him, I…was with Zander because they both have…qualities that reminded me of you, so I didn’t tell Ric what Zander said because I knew he’d see that it was the truth, at least a little.”

“Elizabeth—”

“Anyway,” she cut in swiftly. “What I wanted to tell you before I got maudlin was that I decided I should file for divorce.” She gently pulled her hands away. “And I should file immediately while Ric doesn’t know where I am.”

As if understanding the moment for deeper conversation had passed, Jason leaned back and cleared his throat. “Do you want me to contact someone back home and put you in touch with them? Carly interviewed a lot of attorneys before settling on Diane.”

Before she could answer, her belly tightened, and she gasped.  The little twinges she’d been having off and on for a few hours…

“Jason…I think I’m in labor.”

March 2, 2014

I’ve posted the first prequel to Hand Me Down, Lullabyes, a Scrubs fic from Patrick’s POV as he prepares to become a husband and father. It was originally posted six years ago as Sweet Surrender, so if early parts feel at all familiar, it’s from there. For Liason fans, there are some minor Liason mentions, and Elizabeth is a character.

I started a Twitter feed (mostly for shits and giggles), but all minor updates will be posted there rather than on this blog. If I move a story over, or make any site changes.  Follow @CrimsonGlass to get updates.  Updates to the main page here will be reserved for major updates or stories, at which point I’ll summarize any change.

I’ve updated the layout of this site, for a better header image, as well begun redesigning the Alternate History section, so that each story is set up for its own little icon. The stories in the Completed section are now set in chronological order, beginning with 2002 and going until the last story that’s completed, First Do No Harm, in 2008. All subsequent stories will moved to the completed section to fit in that way.

I moved The Witness and Another Dumb Blonde earlier this weekend, with some thoughts to move North Star and Sanctuary at some point this week, my two Scrubs stories.

There’s a Coming Soon page that’s outfitted with stories that I’m planning and ones that will be returning at some point.

Story Notes: This story is one of a few Hand Me Down prequels I have in my head. It was originally going to be a standalone, but the more I wrote, the more I wanted it to be part of my own little universe.  This story picks in April 2008, long before the gender of the baby was revealed. It is told entirely from Patrick’s point of view.

Song: Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel) by Billy Joel

1

Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes

April 2008

“I like the yellow.”

Patrick nodded. “Yellow’s nice.”

Robin pursed her lips and tossed the fabric sample aside. “I think the green would be better.”

“I agree completely,” Patrick said. She eyed him and he held up his hands. “I have no opinion.”

“You have to have an opinion,” Robin stomped her foot. “This is your baby, too. What color do you want to see at three o’clock in the morning?”

“I don’t think any color is going to let me forget I’m about to change a stinky diaper.” Patrick pinched his nose. It had taken the better part of two weeks to convince Robin to move into his apartment and sublet hers to Maxie. His apartment had two bedrooms. It was closer to the hospital.

They had argued about it for days before Maxie had sat him down and carefully explained to him—in the strictest confidence, of course—that Robin was extremely insecure about the small dressing area she had for the nursery and talking about decorating a larger area in his apartment was a surefire way to get his way.

Maxie had had a twofold reason for helping him – one, she’d actually thought it be good for Robin to have a bit more full-time support and more importantly, two, she was making enough money to afford Robin’s apartment.

It had worked but now Robin thought he wanted to be part of this decorating process and whenever he’d voiced an honest opinion, she’d started to cry.

Apparently, agreeing with her wasn’t going to work either. Maybe shooting himself in the foot would clear things up.

“You have that look again,” she complained.

“What look?” Patrick answered.

“You hate this and you wish I had never moved in.” Robin flopped on the couch and sulked. “Because now you’re stuck with a fat girlfriend and you hate me.”

Oh good grief. Patrick sat on the edge of the coffee table. “Robin, you’ve gained ten pounds. No one even believes you’re almost four months along.”

“I am fat,” she repeated flatly. She dragged her shirt up and touched the tiny bump that protruded. “And I’m just going to get fatter. You won’t even be able to recognize me in a few months.”

“Sweetheart, I barely recognize you now,” Patrick said with a good-natured smile. He patted her knee. “You’re not fat, you’re pregnant. And hey, upside is that the bigger you get, the sooner you can feel the baby kick and you want that right?”

“Yes,” she said glumly. “But it’s taking forever.” She huffed. “And I can’t even settle on a color for the nursery. The entire thing is a disaster.”

“You can’t decide between the green and the yellow right?” Patrick said.

“They’re not really unisex. I mean, green is totally a guy’s color and yellow is so for a girl. What if I screw up this baby by choosing the wrong colors? Don’t laugh at me,” she warned, seeing the corners of his mouth curve up. “It’s not a silly thing to worry about! Stupid things screw up kids all the time.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Patrick said. “We can do this one of three ways. We can close our eyes, pick a color and hope for the best, we can wait to decorate the nursery until after the baby is born—”

“Pfft!”

“Or we can go to our ultrasound next week and ask Kelly to tell us the sex of the baby.”

“I want it to be a surprise,” Robin said stubbornly. She crossed her arms.

“Okay, then we can do it this way. Kelly will tell me the sex of the baby. I will tell Maxie and she will decorate the nursery.”

“I want to decorate the nursery!” Her eyes filmed over with tears. “That nursery should be created by this child’s parents, not an aunt who’s…” she searched for the right word. “Who’s Maxie.”

“Okay, then Kelly will tell me the sex and I will decorate the nursery,” Patrick said, running out of patience. He waited for her to veto the suggestion.

Instead, she stared at him. “You’d do that?” Robin asked softly. “Really?”

He hesitated. “Yes,” he replied warily. He was never quite sure what the right answer was anymore.

“That is the sweetest thing!” She wrapped her arms around his neck and smacked a loud kiss on his lips. “You are going to be the best daddy.”

Relieved, he joined her on the couch and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He wasn’t so bad at this after all.

And then it hit him of course.

He’d just agreed to decorate a nursery. Without Maxie’s help.

Crap.

2

And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you’ve been asking me

April 2008

“This is going to be a little cold,” Kelly warned as she smeared the clear gel across Robin’s bump. She grinned up at Patrick. “You excited for this, Daddy?”

“Sure,” Patrick said, mostly because it was expected and he figured it would make Robin happy. Or she’d be less likely to cry. His goal for the day was to say or do as little as possible because just about everything that came out of his mouth these days upset her.

She was a minefield and he kept smacking up against them.

He was definitely interested in seeing this ultrasound. The baby wasn’t abstract to him, but neither was it really concrete. He still was unsure if he could pull off being a father with any kind of success but he was willing to try very hard. He was secretly hoping that the paternal gene would kick in after viewing the ultrasound.

It worked in Nine Months after all.

“So, are we checking for the sex today?” Kelly inquired, reaching for the little wand she’d rub over Robin’s tummy.

“I still don’t want to know but Patrick volunteered to decorate the nursery,” Robin said with a wicked smile. “So he gets to find out.”

You’re going to decorate the nursery?” Kelly repeated. She stared at him. “For real?”

“I’m perfectly capable of buying some furniture,” he muttered.

“You’re not just choosing furniture!” Robin protested. “It’s a color scheme, a concept! This is the room that our child is going to be spending a lot of time in. It has to feel like home!”

He saw her lower lip tremble and wanted to throttle Kelly. “Of course. I’m going to stop at the bookstore and stock up on some design books. The room will be perfect, I promise.”

Kelly clearly had her doubts but she tactfully kept them to herself. She switched the screen on. “Well, let’s see if Baby Drake is willing to help Daddy out and give us a color to work with.” She fiddled a bit and smiled. “Here we go.” She turned the screen to face them. “Everything looks fabulous.”

“Wow.” Patrick blinked. He’d seen ultrasounds before, had watched them on television so he knew that he would be able to see the head and the limbs but maybe there was something to that daddy gene kicking in at the ultrasound. That was his kid on the screen, after all. Half him, half Robin. Pretty cool concept.

“Everything’s normal?” Robin asked anxiously. “I haven’t gained much weight.”

“Sweetie, you’re going to wake up one morning and wish you hadn’t complained about not gaining the weight. You’re going to have a basketball there.” Kelly grinned. “But, everything is normal. Right size.” She hit a few screens. “Baby Drake is also going to help Daddy with the color scheme but I’ll save that for when you’re changing.” She patted Robin’s hand. “You’re going to get some energy back; you’re into your second trimester. The nausea is going to fade a bit, but it might not go away.”

After she’d sent Robin out of the room, Kelly held out the ultrasound photo to Patrick. “Congratulations, Daddy, you’ve got a very healthy daughter.”

“Daughter.” Patrick sat back down on the stool hard. “Christ. I don’t know anything about daughters.”

Kelly arched an eyebrow. “They’re not that much different than sons.”

“But they are,” Patrick said. “There’s going to be ballet lessons and lacy dresses and boys are going to want to touch her.” He frowned. “I’m going to go to jail for beating up boys, aren’t I?”

“It’s a possibility.” Kelly patted his shoulder. “Cheer up. You could get a tomboy that likes to play sports. You could even teach her to appreciate the finer art of race cars.”

The idea started to appeal to him but then he remembered just how fast those cars could travel and no way in hell was his kid getting in a car like that!

“She can watch,” Patrick said. “But that’s it.”

3

I think you know what I’ve been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you

May 2008

Patrick planted his hands on his hips and glared at the wallpaper in the second bedroom. He’d bought some books, watched a few television shows. How hard could it really be to strip the wallpaper?

Very difficult apparently as he was into hour three and had only managed half a wall. He still had four months to accomplish it but he was beginning to wish he hadn’t volunteered to do this. With his luck, it would be all wrong and Robin wouldn’t let their kid sleep in here a night before wanting to change it.

“Any fumes in there?” she called. “Or colors I shouldn’t see?”

“Other than the crap green that was already here,” he muttered. “Fumes are gone, I’m taking a break.”

Robin entered and sat on the floor cross-legged, a notebook in front of her. “I have a few things we need to discuss.”

“Wonderful,” Patrick said, trying to sound sincere. “Where do we start?”

“First…” Robin glanced up. “Can you sit down, too? My head is going to ache if you keep this up.”

Patrick folded his long legs into the same cross-legged style. “Okay, shoot.”

“First,” Robin repeated, “I wanted to tell you that I really do appreciate how supportive you’ve been, even when I’ve been a little…” she hesitated, “unstable.”

“Nothing to it.”

“You didn’t exactly sign up for this and you’re really going out of your way to be a good guy.” She stopped. “I know we haven’t really established this, but I thought we should put it into terms. I’m living here, we’re sharing a bed, so you know, I guess we’re back together.”

“I had assumed that, yes.”

“Good, good, that takes care of another item.” She actually marked it off. “So even when I get really fat and unbearable, you won’t leave me right?”

Patrick scrubbed a hand over his face. “That’s a trick question right? If I say of course not, you’re going to assume I think you’re going to get fat and unbearable and sock me. If I say yes, you’re going to sock me. If I say nothing, you’re going to sock me. So just go ahead and sock me.”

She smiled faintly. “I’m sorry, I know I haven’t been very easy to deal with. My emotions are all over the place and I’m sure if feels like everything I ask you is a declaration of war. I’m trying to work on that.”

“Okay, with that in mind, then I can say that I love you,” he said. “I don’t love you because you’re thin and let’s face it, you’ve never been easy going. Most of our relationship has been somewhat prickly, so I don’t really see that changing because your hormones get a bit whacky and you’re not going to be fat, you’re going to be pregnant. Also, I knocked you up so I can’t complain much. You’re going to give me a kid, right? So it’s a win-win situation.”

“Are you…looking forward to this baby a little more?” she asked softly. “I guess…I want to know if you want the baby.”

“Kelly told me the sex of the baby,” Patrick said, “and I have to say, it did change things a little. I was always going to step up and do the right because that’s the way my mother raised me but I could kind of picture the baby now. And while the future scares the hell out of me, it’s not because I’m going to have a kid, it’s because of all the things in that world out there that the kid can get a hold of that’s going to hurt them. That is a very scary world out there, Robin, with poisons and bad people and people who speed on residential streets. Can we just leave the kid in one of those playpen things until its eighteen?”

She laughed and leaned forward to kiss him. “That’s very cute. No.”

4

And you should always know
Wherever you may go

June 2008

“I need a favor.”

Elizabeth blew the excess steam from her hot chocolate and sipped it gingerly. She grimaced. “Still too hot.” She looked at Patrick. “What kind of favor? My shift starts in ten minutes.”

“That’s fine.” Patrick dropped a stack of books on the table. “I’m back from break about then anyway. I need you to be my lookout. I can’t leave these around the apartment because she’ll see and if she does see them, she’ll know the sex of the baby.”

“Ah.” Elizabeth moved to the doorway of the break room and kept a look out while peering at the books he was opening. “Wallpaper samples? So the rumor’s true?”

“In an act of desperation, yes, I agreed to decorate the nursery.” He thumbed through the pages. “I mentioned that I was getting paint samples and she was horrified. She wants wallpaper. I barely managed to strip the existing stuff without screwing it up but that’s okay. That’s why they have shows like Bob Vila right?”

“Of course,” she said soberly. She glanced at the samples. “So a boy, huh?”

“Yep. Kelly thought it was a girl first but then the baby turned in another direction last week and she changed her mind.” Patrick turned the page. “I’m a little relieved because, you know, boys are okay. I was one, so I think I’ll be able to cope. Girls come with a whole set of issues I know nothing about.”

“I want a little girl,” Elizabeth said wistfully. “When Jake’s a little older, I’m definitely going to convince Jason we should have another baby. But he’s not ready to even set a date.” She paused. “I should be grateful he didn’t just call off the engagement.”

“You should be mad he didn’t set you free,” Patrick grumbled. “Stop reminding me about your unfortunate taste and keep a watch. It’s Wednesday.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Robin has specific reactions on certain days when I do something that upsets or offends her,” Patrick explained. “On Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays, she just cries. On Mondays and Tuesdays, she socks me. Saturdays are tricky. It might be either one.”

“And Wednesdays?”

“She socks me and then she cries. It’s my least favorite day so I try to keep my interaction with Robin limited to a smile and a nod. It’s worked well so far.” Patrick held up a sample. “I like this one.”

“Racing cars,” Elizabeth nodded. “Clearly the right choice.”

5

No matter where you are
I never will be far away

June 2008

“We have to talk about names.”

Patrick paused, wiping the sweat from his brow. It was his third attempt to get the wallpaper to stick to the wall. No matter how many times he painstakingly followed the directions in the book, it still bulged in spots. Maybe it was time for another book.

Robin’s voice came to him from the other side of the door. He knew it was difficult for her not to at least peek inside but so far her willpower was holding up. “Names,” he repeated.

“Yes, names. I made up a list of the ones I like but I thought I’d ask you first.”

Patrick continued to press another sheet of the paper to the wall, smoothing it down. “Um. What do you like?”

“Well, I don’t want anything that will get the kid laughed at but I want something strong. That would sound just as nice when they’re five as when they’re thirty. I was talking to Lulu the other day and I just thought—God what was Laura thinking? Lulu is cute for a little girl but ridiculous for a grown woman.”

He’d never thought Lulu Spencer was much of a grown woman, but he wasn’t about to expound on that. “Sounds about right. Wouldn’t want a kid named Bambi. Doesn’t sound right after a certain age.”

“Bambi never sounds right,” Robin said, exasperated. “So I also thought we should think of something that’s nickname friendly. I hate that the only thing people can call me is Robbie. It’s like, longer than my name.”

“Ian calls me Pat sometimes,” Patrick mused, pleased when the sheet of wallpaper appeared to stay nice and smooth. “But he only does it because he knows I hate it.”

“Exactly. So I was also thinking about naming him for someone in my family. What about Noah for a boy?”

“No,” Patrick said shortly. “What about Robert?”

“I’m already named for him, so I don’t want to saddle a third generation with that.” She pursed her lips. “But Anna for a girl is nice.”

“I like Anna.” Patrick started on another piece. Maybe he was finally making progress. “What about Malcolm?”

“Malcolm,” Robin repeated. “It’s a little out of fashion,” she said slowly. “But it can be shortened to Mac or Mal which works out well. I like it.”

“Good. Malcolm for a boy, Anna for a girl.” It was the first time she’d easily accepted one of his suggestions and he was proud of himself. Maybe he was going to be okay at this after all.

The piece that he’d just finished started to peel off the wall.

Damn it.

6

Goodnight, my angel
Now it’s time to sleep

 June 2008

“What do you mean you haven’t told your mother?”

Patrick narrowed his eyes, watching Robin shove a whole cookie in her mouth at once. “Robin.”

“It never came up.” Except she tried to say it with a full mouth, so it sounded more I nevaw ca u.

“Robin.” Patrick shoved himself up off the couch. “If your mother doesn’t know, then I guess neither does your father.”

Robin swallowed and chased it down with a swig of milk. “I suppose that’s entirely possible.”

“By entirely possible you mean that’s exactly what’s happening here,” Patrick said flatly. “You didn’t tell your parents.”

“I couldn’t!” Robin stood and planted her hands on her hips. “My mother is not ready to hear that she’s going to be a grandmother and my father, oh my God, my father—”

“Is probably going to string me up by my thumbs,” Patrick muttered. He went to the phone book and started to thumb through the pages. “If I can find a justice of the peace who’d be willing to marry us over the phone, I think I can probably save my life.”

Robin frowned. “What was that?”

“Because your parents are in the elevator, on their way to this floor and if you’re unmarried when Robert Scorpio walks through that door and sees…” he gestured towards her protruding belly, “…that and finds out you’re not married? You’ll never get the chance to be a widow because I’ll already be dead.”

“Now you’re overreacting.”

“That’s rich coming from the woman who cried over a Hell’s Kitchen episode,” Patrick grumbled.

“I didn’t think Vanessa should go home!” Robin stomped her foot.

“Can we please focus?” Patrick demanded. “Look, can you just tell your dad we’re married so he won’t kill me?”

“He’ll ask for proof.”

“You’re right.” Patrick dropped the phone book. “I’m pretty good under pressure but I don’t think I’d be able to create a marriage certificate in the next two minutes. Are you any good with Photoshop? We could stick a white dress on you in something we already have.”

“Patrick. You’re babbling.”

“Wait…I’ve got an idea that I just might be able to pull off.” Patrick crossed to the coat closet and dug around the top shelf. “You go lock the door so we can stall them.”

“I am not going to lock the door. Besides, my parents can pick a lock.” She watched him pull down the locked gray metal box and then root around in the desk for his keys. “What are you doing?”

“Just wait a second. How much longer do we have?” he asked, inserting the key in the lock. He threw the box open.

“Probably a minute,” Robin replied.

“Should be enough.” He withdrew a velvet box. “I was saving this for later, for our two year anniversary, but an emergency is an emergency.”

“We have an anniversary?” Robin said. “What are we celebrating in June?” She gasped. “Are we celebrating the first time we broke up—”

“We took time off, we did not break up,” Patrick muttered. “And no, I was saving it for the blackout because that when I knew I was in love with you.”

“That’s sweet, but you forget what came after that. I think you sleeping with someone else constitutes an actual breakup,” Robin pointed out, hands on her hips.

Again, the focusing could use some work.” He took her hand, flipped open the box and showed her a diamond solitaire ring. “Marry me.”

“I feel like I’ve missed a step,” Robin said. “Shouldn’t you be down on one knee?”

“Hey, you’re the one that didn’t tell your parents about the baby,” Patrick pointed out. “If you wanted a real romantic proposal, maybe something better than a five minute warning would have been nice.”

“If you’d actually had a romantic proposal, I probably would have thought it was a sick joke,” Robin said, tapping her chin. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised you’re glaring at me at a moment like this.”

“We’re down to like thirty seconds here.” Patrick plucked the ring from the box. “Are you going to marry me or not?”

“I can’t wait to tell our kid about this moment one day,” Robin sighed with a fake dreamy smile. “Your father was glaring at me and demanding an answer with Grandma and Grandpop on our front step.”

“We’ll lie to the kid, parents do it all the time.” Patrick narrowed his eyes. “Don’t make me tackle you and shove this on your finger.”

She pursed her lips and took the ring from him, studying it. “How long have you had this?” she asked curiously.

“About ten years,” Patrick answered. At her questioning look, he exhaled slowly. “It was my mother’s. She left it to me in her will.”

“Oh.” Robin bit her lip. “But you kept it here in the apartment. Instead of the deposit box where you keep all your documents and that cute coin collection—”

“I think I heard the elevator ding. Can’t you just say yes?” Patrick asked.

“I think I’ll give you an answer when you tell me why you want to marry me,” Robin said, arching an eyebrow. “And to save your own hide is not a good enough reason.”

“I told you,” he said, exasperated. “I was saving it for next week. I got it out of the bank a few days ago so I could have it cleaned and polished. And I’m asking you because I love you.” There was a knock at the door. “And if you even love me a little, you’ll say yes before your dad walks in here.”

Robin slid the ring on her finger and leaned up on the tips of her toes. “Yes,” she whispered against his lips. “But only because you asked so sweetly.”

7

And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay

 July 2008

With a flourish, Patrick smoothed over the last of the racing car wallpaper and stepped back with a triumphant grin. For a month, he had slaved in this room stripping the old paper and forcing the new stuff up. He’d thought about quitting, thought about calling in reinforcements a thousand times, but now…

His hands at his waist, he did a slow turn around the room. Now…he was glad he had impulsively promised to decorate the nursery. He’d been terrified when he thought he’d bring a daughter into this room, and then less so when Kelly had corrected her earlier estimation to a boy.

Still, you could really screw up a son. You could be too hard on them, push them too far…you could neglect them for your own career and desires. There were so many things he thougt he might be responsible for now that he might not have been with a daughter. Robin would have handled the uncomfortable discussions and the girl related stuff.

Patrick was going to have talk to their son about sex, about girls, and maybe even answer uncomfortable questions about love. So maybe a son was more terrifying than a daughter, after all.

But this…this room was one step on the right road. The first job he’d have as a father, to create a place for his son to sleep, to grow. Just a few more months until he could bring him home.

“Patrick?” Robin knocked on the door. “Did you finish? We’re meeting Elizabeth and Kelly for dinner in a little while, so you should get cleaned up.”

“Yeah, I finished.” He cleared his throat. “Do you want to come in and see?”

“Um…yes.” The door started to push open but then it stopped. “But I shouldn’t. I’m due in two months, I can wait to find out.”

He grinned. “Really? Because I’d love to get your opinion on what I picked out.”

There was a silence, as Patrick pictured his fiance battling her urges. Finally…

The door opened, and Robin gingerly entered, her dark eyes sweeping over the blue walls with red and white racing cars. She pressed a hand to her mouth and looked at Patrick, her eyes wet. “A…boy?”

“Yeah.” He crossed to her and took her hand in his. “I still have to do the carpet, before we start setting up your baby shower gifts.”

“Oh, Patrick…” She pressed a hand to her belly. “We’re having a little boy.” She looked up at him. “And you did exactly what you promised to do. You did the nursery. And it’s perfect.” She stretched up to kiss him. “I am so lucky.”

He covered her hand over their son. “I’m the lucky one.”

8

And like a boat out on the ocean
I’m rocking you to sleep
The water’s dark
And deep inside this ancient heart
You’ll always be a part of me

August 2008 

Elizabeth patted his bow-tie, grinned and stepped back. “Are you ready to be a husband?”

“Well…” Patrick returned her smile. “How different is it being married than living with someone?” He tugged at one of her curls. “You’ve got some experience there.”

Elizabeth laughed. “It’s the same, but it’s not.” She pursed her lips. “It’s one thing to share a living space, and you can even pledge each other everything, but there’s something about standing in front of your family and friends and promising to cherish one another for a lifetime.”

Patrick looked towards the door that would lead him through to the rest of the church. “I can’t wait to do that, you know. I never thought this would be my life, that I’d ever want to find someone to spend my life with, much less have a family with, but I saw Robin and I never looked back.”

“You’re going to be a great father.” Elizabeth smiled. “And let me tell you, I am ridiculously excited to be the best woman. This is the most fun I’m going to have…” Her nose crinkled. “Well, until it’s your turn and you can walk me down the aisle.”

Patrick heaved a sigh. “Well, if you’re going through with it.” He reached into his pocket and held out his mother’s wedding ring. “You ready for this part of the ceremony?”

“Absolutely.” Elizabeth closed her hand around it and looked at him, her eyes misting. “I love you both so much and I can’t think of two people who are more perfect for one another. Your kids are going to grow up with mine, and we are going to have the best time.”

“All right, all right,” Patrick chuckled, but his throat felt tight. “Let’s go make me a husband, so I can hurry up and be a father.”

9

Goodnight, my angel
Now it’s time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be

August 2008

Robert Scorpio paused at the end of the aisle, refusing to allow his daughter to release his hand. “You understand that I am giving you the most precious gift in the world.”

“Dad,” Robin hissed.

“I do, Mr. Scorpio.” Patrick noddled solemnly, not taking his eyes off his beautiful pregnant almost-wife. “And you have my permission to issue any threat you deem necessary.”

Robin rolled her eyes, but Patrick saw Mac nod his approval from the first row. Robert finally released her hand, and Patrick took hers in his own.

“Ladies and gentleman,” the reverend began, “family and friends, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the joining of Patrick Drake and Robin Scorpio in marriage. With love and commitment, they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife. They have decided to write their own vows.” He looked at Patrick. “Would you like to begin?”

Patrick took a deep breath and looked into the dark eyes of the most beautiful woman on the planet. “I did not like you the first time I saw you,” he told her, and she laughed, because she knew the feeling had been entirely mutual. “But you got under my skin until I tricked you into making the first move.”

“Oh, really?” Robin grinned. “That’s not how I remember it.”

“Hush,” he teased. “It’s my turn.” He cleared his throat. “I never pictured myself as a husband or a father because I never thought I could find anyone I wanted to spend my life with. Until you. And now, I can’t picture myself with anyone else.” Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes, one sliding down her cheek. “You make me a better man, and it humbles me that you decided I was worth spending your life.” He glanced down at her belly, where their son rested. “To create a new life with. My promise to you is to be a better man tomorrow than I was yesterday, and to love you for the rest of my life.”

10

Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullaby
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me

September 2008

“I have never hated a man more than I do right now.” Through gritted teeth, Robin glared at him. The sweat was rolling down her face and her hair was matted around her face.

“I know.” Patrick squeezed her hand. “More ice chips?”

“Let me tell you what you can do with your ice chips,” she snarled.

And so it went for another hour, and had for three previous. Contractions did not make Robin a happy woman, though from what Patrick understood of the process, he thought she was being rather nice.

Elizabeth handed him another cup of ice chips. “Kelly says it won’t be much longer.”

“Oh, what does Kelly know?” Robin bit out, collapsing against the bed.

“Rather a lot, I should think,” Patrick said under his breath, but Elizabeth whacked him. He exhaled sharply. “Is there anything else I could be doing that I’m not?” he asked Elizabeth.

“Why are you asking her?” Robin demanded. SHe pointed at her belly. “I’m the one in need.”

“I’m going to go…set myself on fire.” She squeezed Robin’s hand. “I’ll go talk to your uncle and parents, update them.” She squeezed his shoulder.

“So is there anything I could be doing that I’m not?” Patrick asked her. “Do you want Maxie to come in and sit with you? Your mom? Someone who isn’t a man?”

“No.” Robin sighed and looked at him. “I’m a horrible person, aren’t I?”

“No, you’re a woman in labor. I wouldn’t want this job for all the money in the world,” Patrick said. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You know how I hate pain.”

Her laughter was tinged with exhaustion. “I just want him to be here already. I’m tired of waiting. I want to bring my son home and put him that beautiful nursery his father created for him. I want…” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Oh man, here comes another one.”

12

Someday we’ll all be gone
But lullabyes go on and on

September 2008

While Robin slept, Patrick sat in front of the bassinet holding his son. His son. Man. That was never going to get old. As long as he lived, no matter how many children he and Robin had, there would always be this first moment where Patrick looked at this baby and knew he was physical representation of their love for one another.

Malcolm Robert Drake. When they had revealed him to Robin’s family, he’d thought Mac might lose it, knowing his grand-nephew was going to carry his name. Though Patrick loved his own family, he wanted to honor Robin’s family in this way, because they were going to be in Port Charles watching Mal grow up.

“You’re two hours old and already I love you more than anything else in this world,” Patrick murmured. He reached down and brushed a knuckle down his son’s cheek. “I’ve waited months for you to get here, but now that you’re here…” He chuckled. “Man, it’s so much better than I thought it would be, but…God, so much more terrifying.” He exhaled slowly. “I can’t promise I’m not going to make mistakes, but I’m going to do my best not to screw you up too much.”

His throat thick, Patrick glanced away for a moment. “So, how about we agree that since this is your first time being a son and mine as a father, we’ll learn it as we go along.”

He laughed lightly and swiped at his eye. “But no matter what happens, I will never stop loving you.”

They never die
That’s how you and I will be

March 1, 2014

This entry is part 16 of 16 in the The Witness

June 15, 2006

Quartermaine Mansion: Pool

Right in the middle of sipping a frothy pink concoction, Lulu sat straight up in her lounge chair and shoved her sunglasses to the top of her head. “Oh my God!”

Dillon, seated on the opposite lounge chair, glanced up from his Robert Altman biography and blanched. “Oh, God. Not that look.”

“Do you know what I just realized?” Lulu said, excitedly. She tucked her knees under her body and leaned anxiously toward her stepbrother. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of it earlier.”

“My nerves are just beginning to recover from the Cassadines,” Dillon grumbled.

“We never figured out Jesse’s connection!” Lulu smacked him in the arm. “How could we overlook that?”

“How indeed.”

“Don’t be sarcastic with me.”

“I’m not being sarcastic, I’m….” Dillon fumbled for the right word. “Resigned. Yes, resigned is what I’m feeling. I should have known we weren’t finished with the Cassadines. You’re a Spencer after all. Hunting Cassadine is in your blood.”

“Exactly.” Lulu got to her feet. “Come on, we have work to do.” She tugged on Dillon’s arm. “I’m going to find out how Jesse Beaudry is connected to the Cassadines if it’s the last thing I do.”

“Knowing my luck and your skills, it probably will be,” he said soberly. “Ow!” he yelped as Lulu smacked him upside the head.

Petersen Clinic: Outside Sam’s Room

Alexis stared at the doctor in disbelief before turning her gaze to an equally bewildered Ric. “There has to be some kind of mistake.”

The doctor shook his head. “I’m sorry, Ms. Davis, but the tests are quite clear. There is no way that Samantha McCall is your daughter.”

“But–” Alexis dragged her hands through her hair. “That doesn’t make any sense. All the connections are there. She was born on May 12, 1980 at the same clinic where I had my daughter–”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Davis, but the tests were clear,” the doctor repeated apologetically. “There is no way, biologically speaking, that the woman in that bed is your daughter.”

Alexis turned to look through the window into Sam’s room to find the woman in question laying in her bed, staring at the wall. “Then what really happened to my daughter?” she murmured.

Hardy House: Front Porch

Elizabeth pulled open her front door and arched an eyebrow at the man standing in front of her. “What?” she asked bluntly.

“I understand that you’re angry with me,” Nikolas began, “but you have to understand that I was just looking out for my brother–”

“What I understand is that your first loyalty is to Lucky,” Elizabeth said coolly. “You will always take his side over mine.”

“He’s my brother–”

“You were supposed to be my friend, too. Separate from Lucky. I guess that was just a lie.”

“Elizabeth–”

Nikolas’s protest was cut off when Elizabeth abruptly slammed the door in his face.

She turned away from the door and returned to her seat on the couch. She set Cameron on her lap and smiled at her companion. “Where were we?” she asked.

“I was telling you about the light in Venice,” Jason replied.

General Hospital: Elevator

The elevator doors slid open and Robin scowled as Jax wheeled Carly in next to her.

“I thought you were released last week,” she grumbled, crossing her arms. Patrick pinched her upper arm.

“Civility is a virtue.”

“Is not,” Robin retorted.

“I was here to have my stitches removed and there was some bleeding yesterday,” Carly said primly. “I stayed overnight for observation. Is that all right with you, Miss Priss?”

“Too bad the bullet wasn’t a few inches to the north,” Robin muttered.

“Right back at you,” Carly snapped.

“Back to business as usual,” Jax sighed. “Some things will never change,” he said to Patrick, who hadn’t quite forgiven the billionaire for his past transgressions.

“If I cared less about my hands, I’d rip your throat out,” the neurosurgeon growled.

Jax blinked. “Fair enough.”

“What was that about civility and virtues?” Robin asked Patrick, batting her eyelashes.

“It’s overrated,” Patrick said. The doors opened to the lobby and Patrick wheeled Robin out.

“I wish Stefan Cassadine had better aim,” Carly remarked as Jax pushed her out after the duo.

“I wish he’d stay dead,” Jax replied.

“He’s a Cassadine. Even when they’re dead, they come back.”

Somewhere On a Yacht

The young man blinked his eyes and slowly opened them to find an elderly woman staring at him. “What’s going on?” he demanded.

“Hello, darling.” Helena Cassadine clasped her hands together. “I didn’t think you’d ever come around.”

“Who are you?” Jesse Beaudry demanded.

“I am your beloved stepgrandmother,” Helena cooed. “And you, my darling, being three months older than my darling Nikolas, are my Cassadine heir.”

This entry is part 15 of 16 in the The Witness

June 2, 2006

Spoon Island

Helena clasped her hands in front of her and continued to smile in a way that made Dillon feel like she was already devouring him and planning where to hide the body. He shifted and wondered what made him think he could take the Cassadines on with nothing more than a crazy stepsister at his side.

He was going to move to Iowa. There probably weren’t any Cassadines in Iowa.

“You do look like your mother, my darling Lesley Lu,” Helena murmured. “So much. The same hair, the same fire in the eyes.” She arched an eyebrow. “The same inherent weakness.”

Ever her father’s daughter, Lulu scoffed at this. “That’s the best you can do, Hels? C’mon, I’m disappointed — my dad always gave you more credit.”

“What are you doing?” Dillon hissed, tugging on her arm. “You do not antagonize the crazy woman.”

“She’s not armed, Dillon,” Lulu told him, keeping her eyes on Helena. “And while she wants us to think we’re probably surrounded by men with big guns, we’re not. Because if this is Spoon Island, then all that extra body heat would have shown up on my brother’s radar.” She smirked. “You do know that Nikolas installed radar after the last time you infiltrated the island, right? He also has instructions for his security team to investigate all suspicious activity so I bet they’ll be coming along any time now.”

“Not unless I’ve bribed them to work for me,” Helena replied.

“Which is impossible because you don’t have any accounts for yourself and you can only siphon so much from Nikolas without him noticing,” Lulu returned. “You’re not as scary as you think you are,” she boasted.

“What about me, Lulu?” Stefan said silkily from behind the cheeky teenager. “Am I as scary as you thought?”

The click of gun behind them created a moment for Dillon that he thought only happened in movies. He swallowed. “God damn the Cassadines,” he muttered. “They just never stay dead.”

“Well–” Lulu began.

“And before you speak, remember that I have already shot Robin Scorpio and Carly Corinthos and helped to destroy your beloved brother,” he warned.

Lulu turned and eyed the older man carefully. “You’re not going to shoot me, though,” she said, careful to keep her voice as breezy as it had been with Helena. “You might shoot Dillon, but you’d never shoot me.”

“Hey, do not offer me up like a sacrifice,” Dillon cut in. “Please don’t shoot me,” he said to Stefan. “She roped me into this.”

The Cassadine son ignored the boy and kept his eyes on Lulu. “And why wouldn’t I shoot you, Lulu?” he asked coldly.

“Because I look like my mother,” Lulu said, playing her trump card. “And you could never shoot Laura.”

ICU: Robin’s Room

“After Helena told me that she was going to kidnap John, I was terrified,” Robin admitted to her uncle. She looked to Jax with an apologetic expression. “So I created the third paternity test to make it look like neither you nor Nikolas was John’s father. I thought if I could get that test into her hands and make her believe it, he’d be safe.”

“Thank you for trying to protect him,” Jax said solemnly. He kissed her forehead.

Patrick glared at the Australian with barely hidden malevolence. All that he’d gone through in the last forty-eight hours–all the fear and the pain and the exhaustion, it could all be laid at this man’s doorstep. If he was ever alone with Jasper Jacks, he might actually commit murder. “Yeah, thanks for nearly getting yourself killed,” he muttered.

Mac sighed impatiently and glanced at the doctor with annoyance. “You’re only in here because Robin wouldn’t let me kick you out, so be quiet.” He looked back to Robin. “So you created the third test and left it in the computer.”

“Right,” Robin said. “I had plans with Patrick and I thought he might have some ideas on how to get the test into Helena’s hands. I was going to tell you,” this she directed at Patrick. “I thought we’d have more time.”

He shoved his hands in pockets. “I would have told you to tell Nikolas the truth and let him deal with his homicidal grandmother.”

Robin ignored that. “But you know the rest. I didn’t tell Patrick, and he was paged to the hospital. I fell asleep and didn’t even wake up until I felt all the pain.” She hesitated. “I didn’t think I’d been that injured until I was reaching for the phone and saw all the blood all over the flowers.”

Mac nodded and noted this down. “And today, when you crashed–you said it was Helena.”

“She came in and injected something into my IV,” Robin said. “I can only guess it was something to stop my heart.”

“But it didn’t work because Patrick was right outside and performed CPR until the crash team arrived,” Mac told her.

Patrick frowned. “Wait…if I was right outside–Helena couldn’t been that far away. How did she get out?” He frowned. “And what happened to Dillon and Lulu? They were with me until the code.”

“Helena probably used the stairs and went to the underground tunnels,” Robin told her uncle. “Lulu might have seen her go into the stairwell.”

“And no Spencer can resist that lure,” Jax said ruefully. “She probably dragged the poor Quartermaine down there with her.”

“If she went into the underground tunnels, they’re probably on the island.” Mac closed his notebook. “As soon as Nikolas gets here, I’ll send men over to the island to keep a look out for them but I can’t really chase down a Spencer. I’ve spent half my career chasing after her father.” He motioned to Jax. “We can go wait for Nikolas in the waiting room.” He turned to Robin. “How long do you want me to tell Felicia and Brenda to wait before they storm the room?”

“Ten minutes,” Robin answered, “which means Brenda will give us seven.”

After they were gone, Patrick scowled. “From now on, life threatening news before sex.”

“I never meant to drag you into this–” Robin began.

“You didn’t even drag yourself into this, your cousin did that for you,” he argued. He scrubbed his hands over his face. “And I dragged myself into this. So much for the romantic evening.”

“Hey…” Robin’s hand slid over the covers and reached out to touch his knee. “We were having a great time until the pager, okay? Thank you for going to all that trouble.”

“If I had suggested dinner out or even going to your place–”

“This isn’t your fault,” she argued. She hesitated. “Is this the part where you give me the speech about casual relationships and flings?”

“You mean the one where you’ve ruined me for both?” Patrick asked with a weary smile. “Relax, Scorpio. Bullet wounds aren’t going to scare me away.”

General Hospital: ICU Hallway

When Jax stepped out of Robin’s room, he found Nikolas down the hall near the door to the waiting room, just staring down at the child in his arms. Jax fought the urge to rush down the hall and tear John from his biological father and disappear.

He had done what he believed was right and protected Courtney’s child with everything inside of him, but Carly had been right. These secrets will always come out and this particular one had cost too much. It had nearly killed Robin, destroyed a marriage, wounded Carly and brought the deadly side of the Cassadine family to the forefront.

For the first time in nearly a year, a weight lifted from Jax’s shoulders. He met Nikolas’s gaze head on, nodded and then turned to walk away. It was the most difficult thing he’d ever had to do, and yet somehow, it was the easiest.

“He’s beautiful,” Maxie said from the doorway of the waiting room. She stepped forward and touched John’s cheek. “I’m glad you know the truth.”

Nikolas narrowed his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked. “You had more than one opportunity.”

“I know,” Maxie sighed. “I tried to tell you, I wanted to tell you but I just couldn’t make the words come out right so I told Robin, thinking she would be able to fix it but that just made everything worse.” She shoved her hair off her forehead. “But it worked out okay, right? I mean, you have your son and everyone’s alive.”

Thinking of his uncle and hoping that he had left for Greece, Nikolas shook his head. “You have no idea.”

General Hospital: Outside Lucky’s Room

Elizabeth leaned against the closed door and closed her eyes. It had been the worst moment in her life–to look into the eyes of the boy she’d loved her whole life and walk away.

“Hey.”

Her eyes snapped open and she found Jason standing in front of her, looking concerned. “Hey,” she replied. “When did you get back from the clinic?”

“A while ago.” He shifted. “Emily said she didn’t know how long you would be so I wasn’t going to wait but I wanted to check on Robin.” Jason scratched the corner of his eyebrow. “I saw you standing here. Have you been inside?”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth exhaled slowly and looked at him. “I told him I wanted a divorce.” She hesitated. “Emily told me about…Sam.”

“It’s fine,” Jason said roughly. “She’s going to recover and she’s going to get a chance at a better life. She deserves that.”

“She deserves to have the life she wanted,” Elizabeth argued, but her heart wasn’t in it. She was too tired, too overwhelmed to care about Sam McCall and what she may or may not deserve. She cared about Jason and his reaction to the news was what mattered. “I can sympathize a little. I know what it’s like to look into someone’s eyes and know they don’t remember their love for you.”

“She didn’t even know me,” Jason replied. “It’s barely been a year since I put her through this. I don’t how she managed to stick by me and stay sane.”

“She did what was right for her,” Elizabeth said. “Just like you did what was right for you by leaving her at the clinic and when you walked away from the Quartermaines. That’s all you can really do, Jason.”

“Sometimes the right thing just doesn’t seem worth it,” he said roughly.

Spoon Island

“That’s your big plan?” Dillon demanded, feeling slightly hysterical. “Pull the Laura card? For Christ’s sake, Lulu, I don’t look like her!”

“You’ve become tiresome,” Helena sighed to the Quartermaine teen. “Stefan, shoot him.”

Lulu’s remark about Laura had clearly unnerved Stefan and he didn’t immediately make a move. Dillon took the presented opportunity and quite shamelessly ducked behind Lulu for protection. “All I wanted to do was prove that my brother didn’t shoot Robin,” Lulu said. “I really don’t care if you get away or if you turn yourself in, but shooting Dillon isn’t going to solve anything.”

“Damn right,” Dillon agreed fervently.

“But it will make me feel better,” Helena drawled. “Stefan, for once in your worthless life, do what you’re told,” she snapped when her youngest son continued to stand motionless.

“Yeah, do what your mommy tells you,” Lulu taunted. “We all know how much you worship your beloved mother.”

“Hey, you might have a death wish but I want to live,” Dillon protested. “Do not what do what your mother tells you. Fight the urge. Do not obey!”

“Shut up,” Stefan said shortly. “I’m not interested in shooting either of you,” he informed them. “I came to Port Charles for one reason and one reason only–to correct certain mistakes that have been made. Nikolas has his son back and the second is being corrected as we speak. I have accomplished my goals, killing either one of you would only make things more complicated.”

“Clearly you are a wise man,” Dillon said soberly. “I’ve always thought Luke underestimated you.”

“Ah, young Spielberg, you disappoint me,” Luke sighed, appearing in the clearing. “Sucking up to the vampire to save your own skin, it’s unworthy of you.”

“People make sacrifices to keep breathing,” Dillon replied. “Especially when one person has a gun and the other has a very annoying stepsister that keeps antagonizing the crazy people.”

“If you don’t lower the weapon, Stiffin,” Luke drawled, “and stop pointing it at my gumdrop, I’m going to be forced to smack you silly. I’m a little tired from trekking through the woods, so can’t we just skip that part?”

“Stefan, shoot someone,” Helena snapped. “Preferably Spencer. I grow weary of listening to his rambling.”

“Mother,” Stefan arched an eyebrow. “Simply because I agreed to help you get rid of the unfortunate urchin and pull the Cassadine heir back in the family fold, it does not in any way indicate that I give a damn about you or what you want.” He readjusted the aim of his gun and Helena found herself staring down the dark barrel. “If I discover that you have stepped within a hundred feet of Nikolas or his son, I will kill you.”

“You would never–” Helena began but closed her mouth when Stefan cocked the trigger. “You are a stain on this family’s legacy,” she hissed. “If Mikkos could have known how you would turn out, he would have strangled you in the nursery.”

“I do not doubt that,” Stefan nodded, “but the fact remains that he is dead. My brother is dead. You are alone in this world, Mother. I would make your future choices a little more wisely than you have done in the past.”

“So you expect me to walk out of my grandson’s life? Abandon my great-grandson?” Helena demanded.

“Yes, Mother, I expect just that.” As if to demonstrate the point, he pulled the trigger and the bullet whizzed past her hair, ruffling the white strands. “Do I make myself clear?”

Helena smiled slowly. “Perhaps you are a bit more cold blooded than I gave you credit for.” She stepped backwards. “This is not over,” she warned Luke. “I will never rest until I have wiped the world clean of you and yours.”

“I’ll be watching for you, Cruella,” Luke nodded. “But you are getting on in years, my dear, so forgive me if I’m not exactly shaking in my shoes.”

“You were always were a very stupid man,” Helena said, her last words as she slowly turned and disappeared into the trees.

“You realize that she’s not really backing down, right?” Luke said, in one of the most civil tones he’d ever used with his mortal enemy.

Stefan finally lowered the gun and slid it into the holster underneath his jacket. “I would be stupid if I believed that,” he murmured. He looked back at Lulu. “It’s uncanny. You have your mother’s beauty and courage, but your father’s inability to keep his damn mouth shut. You were right, of course. I would never have hurt you.”

He looked at Luke. “Until we meet again, I suppose.”

“Yeah, I’ll be looking for you, Stiffin,” Luke replied. “You can be sure of that.”

Stefan nodded and followed the trail his mother had taken.

“I knew this was going to turn into a Cassadine thing,” Dillon sighed. “The second Lulu found that damn letter, I just knew this was going to happen.”

“Stop complaining,” Lulu smacked him in the arm. “You loved every minute of it.”

“Go easy on the kid, Cupcake,” Luke chided his daughter. “Not everyone takes to this kind of thing the first time around. Give him a few more tries, he’ll get it eventually.”

“I’m going into retirement,” Dillon grumbled. “No more capers.”

Lulu snorted. “Like I haven’t heard that one before.”

This entry is part 14 of 16 in the The Witness

June 2, 2006

Wyndemere: Study

As a member of the Cassadine family, Nikolas had long ago accepted that his was not a normal family. It would always be just this side of eccentric–if not outright insane. His grandfather had tried to freeze the world, his father had kidnapped his mother, his grandmother had brought her son back from the dead and had brainwashed his brother.

His family was not normal but until that moment, even with some of things Stefan had done in the past, Nikolas had known he was not alone in being disgusted by his family’s history.

But his uncle sat in front of him, a dossier in his hands regarding the recent tragedies to hit the family and had outright admitted to nearly killing Robin.

For the first time in his life, Nikolas felt truly alone.

“I want an explanation and I want it now,” Nikolas said coldly. “Why you shot Robin, why you shot Carly and what the hell is going on with Alexis. I want answers, Uncle.”

Stefan sighed, slightly exasperated. “Nikolas, everything I have ever done was to protect you, to protect this family. Robin Scorpio was supposed to be your friend, was supposed to be loyal to you. Instead, she perpetrated this fraud with Carly Corinthos and Jasper Jacks, she kept your son from you. She had to suffer.”

“So you tried to kill her?” Nikolas snarled. “You framed my brother for this–I don’t give a damn about Carly or Jax but Robin didn’t deserve this and Lucky–”

“Lucky stumbled into the room, clearly under the influence of some type of drug,” Stefan cut in sharply. “I took advantage of his presence, of his belief that the woman in the bed was his wife but I did not set out to frame him. Nikolas, whether you like it or not, whether you love your brother or not, the Spencers will always be the enemies of the Cassadines. It is a fact and you cannot make it go away.”

“There is no feud,” Nikolas retorted. “The feud was carried on by Helena and by you. And Luke. Lucky, Lulu and I are not our parents and we do not intend to repeat those mistakes. The Spencer/Cassadine war died the moment Lucky and I accepted each other as brothers. And perhaps you didn’t intend to frame him, but neither have you helped to exonerate him. How dare you–”

“How dare you have so little regard for your own family?” Stefan accused. “John Jacks is your son and you sit here and you argue with my right to defend my family and punish those that kept him from you–”

“If Robin knew the truth and didn’t tell me, I’m sure it was because Jax is her friend as well,” Nikolas said calmly. “She wouldn’t have wanted to hurt him like that–”

“You are so willing to believe the best in people that you fail to see what is right in font of your face.” Stefan shook his head. “I’m disappointed in you, Nikolas. I thought I raised you better.”

“You raised me to be better than the rest of the Cassadines, to be future of this family.” Nikolas swallowed hard. “Go to Greece, Uncle. And disappear. That is the most I am willing to do to protect you.”

“You would turn your own flesh and blood into the authorities?” Stefan demanded. “Have I taught you nothing about loyalty?”

“You taught me everything about loyalty and the first rule is that you are always loyal to those who are loyal to you.” Nikolas slowly took his seat and squared his shoulders. “Robin is loyal to me. My brother is loyal to me. You, Uncle, are your mother’s son. And you can no longer be trusted.” He picked up his mail to finish going through it, but really he was disguising the trembling in his hands. “Go to Greece, Uncle. If you are still in this room ten minutes from now, I will call Mac myself.”

Somewhere Under Port Charles

“Do you smell the water yet?” Lulu raised her nose in the air and sniffed. “Because if you can smell the water, we should be closer.”

Dillon sniffed and wrinkled his nose. “If that’s water I smell, then I am never drinking the Port Charles water again.”

“I don’t think I’m doing this right,” Lulu remarked. “Because every time my dad does this, he doesn’t end up wandering tunnels under Port Charles for hours.”

“Yeah, but to be fair, Lu, your dad has had much more practice at this,” Dillon pointed out. “I’m sure he didn’t run his own caper right away.”

“We should carry like granola bars and water with us at all times,” Lulu decided. “Just in case this comes up again.” She rubbed her abdomen. “I haven’t eaten in like–forever.”

“How often do you think this is going to come up?” Dillon demanded. “How many reasons are we gonna find to wander the catacombs under Port Charles?”

“Hey, my half-brother is Nikolas Cassadine,” Lulu pointed out. “You’d be surprised how many excuses I could find to wander around down here. He might be sane, but there is some crazy stuff that happens around him all the time.”

Dillon fished in his back pocket and retrieved a somewhat crushed bag of chips. “Here, I was saving these but you can have them.”

“You’re too kind,” Lulu said dryly, but she eagerly tore the bag open anyway. She didn’t care if they were starting to go stale or even that the biggest piece was the size of her nail. She was a growing girl and she needed her food. After crunching for a few moments, she paused thoughtfully. “I bet my father has maps of these catacombs.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me,” Dillon replied, skirting the carcass of what he thought was a rat but decided not to give too much attention to. He was going to need at least eight showers to feel clean after this excursion.

“Do you smell water yet?” Lulu asked, sniffing the air again.

“I really hope that’s not water,” Dillon sighed. “It smells like onions.”

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

The elevator doors slid open ad Jason stepped onto the hospital floor, his eyes searching the immediate surroundings. His sister stood at the nurse’s station and she waved to let him know she was there.

He approached her. “Hey, I was looking for Elizabeth,” he told her.

Emily pursed her lips, surprised. “Ah, she went to see Lucky. Why? Did something else happen to Sam?”

“No, no,” Jason shook his head. “I mean, other than the obvious, I guess. I just wanted to check in with her–she’s been keeping me updated with Robin and Carly since I left the hospital.”

“Oh,” Emily reached for the computer. “Well, I can do that. Robin’s in stable condition, she had an episode a little while ago but it’s all cleared up now. Carly’s also stable, they’re probably going to release her next week.” She glanced at her brother. “Are you, ah, doing okay?”

“I’m fine,” Jason said, dismissively and Emily knew that would be the end of the conversation. “What about the investigation?”

“Well, I don’t really know anything about that. They don’t tell us that stuff. But since Lucky’s involved, Liz would probably know.” She tapped a few more keys, trying to ignore the tension between herself and Jason. She wasn’t sorry she’d stood up for what she wanted but she would always regret that there was this rift between them now, an irreparable breach.

“You can wait for her if you want,” Emily offered. “But she’s with Lucky, so I don’t know how long she’ll be.”

Jason nodded. “Can you just tell her to call me?”

“Sure,” Emily agreed. She watched him stride towards the elevators and wished again that her choices and her decisions had been different.

General Hospital: Lucky’s Room

She’d been fourteen when she’d fallen for Lucky Spencer outside of Kelly’s. He’d been cool and confident and had an air of certainty around him, she’d been drawn to him from the moment they’d met. But it had been another year before she’d learned the meaning of love and how deep it could be.

It been almost nine years since she’d arrived in Port Charles–it felt like a life time more than that–but in all those times, her heart had always belonged to this man lying in the hospital bed. Not always her entire heart, but a piece had been reserved for him, her first love, her sweetest love and in the end, her most destructive love. She’d had the courage to leave Ric and the courage to leave Jason.

But she’d always lacked the courage to abandon Lucky, even when he’d pushed her away, and when he’d treated her badly and when he’d forgotten their love. She’d never been able to put him in her past and say goodbye and that was always because he’d been the one to find her in the snow all those years ago.

He’d been the one that picked her up, took her home and made her feel safe again. He’d put the pieces back together and with Lucky, she’d felt clean and loved and secure.

But Elizabeth was tired of being grateful to him for that and tired of feeling obligated to stay by him. She would always love Lucky Spencer, but for her own sanity, her own peace of mind, she had to leave him.

She stood just inside the door silent, but Lucky sensed her and turned his head towards her. His face was pale and his eyes were tired but he still looked like her Lucky–she could still see that boy that she’d loved so selflessly once.

“I didn’t think you’d come,” he said quietly.

Elizabeth lifted a shoulder in a careless shrug and sighed. “You’re my husband. If nothing else, we have to deal with that.”

Resigned, he nodded and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry that I made you fear for Cameron. If I had been thinking clearly, if I’d been thinking at all, I would have left him with Audrey.”

“You were trying to protect him, so for that I forgive you,” Elizabeth said softly. “And for the drugs, I forgive you. Because I understand that we all have our flaws and we all have our weaknesses.” She paused. “But you didn’t trust me. And you went to that room because you thought I would be there.”

“I know,” Lucky said. He pulled himself to his feet, exhausted but determined to finish this conversation no matter what it led them. “And I wish I could tell you why. I wish I could explain but the only thing that I can come up with is that you can do better.”

Elizabeth frowned and stared at him for a long moment. “Better? I don’t…I don’t understand.”

“You can do better than me, you deserve better than me,” Lucky clarified. “I have brought you nothing but pain from the day we met.”

“No–” Elizabeth shook her head. “Lucky, please don’t–”

“You were raped because I didn’t keep my word to you, because I didn’t go to the dance with you.” Lucky swallowed hard. “And you had to mourn my death for an entire year because of my family’s history. You had to fake your own death to save my life. And I repaid you by allowing that sham of a ceremony to go on. And then I slept with your sister and that’s not even going into how badly I treated you while I was under Helena’s influence–”

“Lucky, the past is just that–it’s the past.” Elizabeth hesitated. “I won’t deny that you’ve hurt me. And I sat and I took it because you saved me once. But that doesn’t change the fact that I love you, and I’m not sorry that we took this chance and tried again. I’m not sorry that we got married and tried to build a life together.” She exhaled slowly. “But no matter how much I love you, I love my son more. And I have to start putting him first and putting me first. Lucky, I love you, I will always love you but I cannot be with you.”

Lucky stared at his hands. “I know.”

“I want a divorce,” Elizabeth said softly. “I need a divorce. I need to stand on my own two feet and be by myself. But most of all, I need to be away from you.” She hesitated another moment but finally turned and left the room.

ICU: Waiting Room

Patrick glared at Jax from across the room, wishing that Mac and Robert hadn’t torn him away from the son of a bitch. They’d hesitated a moment–because he was sure he’d only done what they’d been thinking about doing themselves, but in the end, he’d been pulled away from the man responsible for Robin lying in a hospital bed.

Mac stepped back inside the room and shoved his cell into his pocket. “Nikolas is on his way, he already knew about Stefan but didn’t elaborate.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “Jax, you’re going to want to bring the baby to the hospital. And do it before I think twice about filing kidnapping charges.”

Jax paled but nodded and left the room, one of Mac’s officers escorting him.

“If Nikolas Cassadines knows about his uncle’s involvement, you’d better believe that Stefan is already headed for Greece, soon to disappear,” Robert said, irritated.

“Probably,” Mac nodded. “But we’ll have our answers and…” he hesitated. “Cassadines take care of their own.”

“What about Helena Cassadine?” Patrick questioned. “Robin had a meeting with her right before she came to the room. Isn’t she involved?”

“We can’t track her down either,” Mac said, clearly disgusted by the entire situation. “I hate the Cassadines.”

“Speaking of the Cassadines,” Georgie remarked, “or not actually since this has nothing to do with them, but has anyone seen Dillon in the last…oh…two days?”

“Ah…” Patrick scratched the back of his neck and looked to Mac. “Right. I didn’t get the chance to mention this but Dillon and Lulu Spencer were with me when Robin coded. I don’t know where they disappeared to but they came up with the same theory–that Robin’s shooting was connected to John’s paternity.”

“Dillon was with Lulu?” Georgie said through clenched teeth.

Mac narrowed his eyes. “And how exactly did they formulate this theory?” he demanded.

“Ah, can I plead the fifth now or do I have to wait until I’m in a courtroom?” Patrick asked, weakly thinking of the hospital policies he’d violated in not reporting Dillon and Lulu’s use of the hospital records and his own unauthorized testing.

“Well, that still doesn’t answer the question of where the hell Dillon and his freaking precious Lulu are!” Georgie seethed.

ICU: Robin’s Room

Robin forced her eyes open and turned her head wearily to the side, relieved to find her cousin Maxie slumped in a chair. “Maxie,” she said hoarsely.

Maxie snapped up and scooted closer. “You’re awake! Thank God! Let me get the doctors–”

“Wait–” Robin’s hand snaked out and grasped Maxie’s arm. “Wait. You have to tell Uncle Mac that Helena Cassadine is going to kidnap John Jacks. She just tried to kill me.”

Somewhere Under Port Charles

“Okay, that’s definitely water, right?” Lulu sniffed again. “It’s less onion-y.”

“It smells more like water than anything else has in the last few hours.” Dillon picked at his clothes, resolving to burn them as soon as this was over.

“Oh, and that’s light isn’t it?” Lulu squinted and quickened her pace, though how she had any energy after five hours of wandering these catacombs, Dillon didn’t know. Perhaps those potato chips had been super potato chips. Regardless, Dillon took longer steps to catch up with the blonde.

Lulu’s glimpse of light was indeed the cliché–light at the end of the tunnel. It led to a sewer outlet in an unfamiliar swamp like setting.

“I’ve never seen so happy to see the sun in my entire life,” Dillon said, raising his face to the celestial body.

“I wonder where we are,” Lulu narrowed her eyes and studied their surroundings.

“Why, Spoon Island, of course.”

At the sound of her voice, the teens spun around and saw Helena Cassadine standing behind them, a chilling smile spread across her thin lips.

“Yeah, Lulu?” Dillon remarked. “You’ll let me know when we’re supposed to start having fun right?”