May 15, 2004

Christmas came and went with little or no incident. Jason attended both brunches though it was somewhat uncomfortable with Courtney and Brian there as well. He watched Sonny say goodbye to his boys and keep his distance from Carly. He didn’t trust himself around her and Jason wasn’t sure he ever would again.

He’d given Carly her freedom though. The day after Sonny began his sentence at Ferncliffe, a set of papers was delivered to her door. Divorce papers giving Carly all of his proxy at the warehouse and splitting the profits of it between her and the boys. There would be no taint of his illegal business on his family. That money he’d given to Jason who had put into one of his accounts and forgotten about it.

Sonny had made provisions for Courtney but his sister did not need his help. She was the office manager at the insurance company she’d applied for in December and was running for the town council in Hayes Landing. In the small town, she’d found the niche that she’d been unable to in Port Charles.

Her friendship with Brian thrived and the two were inseparable. Karen’s family had accepted her with open arms, despite her past and her family. It was clear they thought of him as a son rather than their daughter’s widowed husband.

She still kept him at arm’s length. The divorce had been final in March and she had little contact with her ex-husband, only news of him from Carly. But she was still getting used to living her own life and supporting herself and wanted to be that way a little longer.

Courtney made the attempt to keep her friendship with Carly strong and made sure to call at least once a day. Lorenzo and Sage had moved in with Carly and both she and Michael were thrilled to have them there. Michael was wary of Lorenzo but was slowly warming up to him. And he figured it was only right that his older sister Sage now lived there.

Sage now wondered how she’d ever survived not living in Port Charles. She and Maxie were inseparable, Georgie had warmed up to her and Lucas–they’d just celebrated their six month anniversary and it amazed her since she hadn’t spent six months anywhere before much less with the same person.

Through Sage, Carly had developed a somewhat relationship with her half-brother and it wasn’t unusual for Bobbie and her son to join Carly and her family for dinner on the weekends or for Lucas and Sage to watch the boys while Lorenzo took Carly out for dinner. It was the closest Carly had ever come to a normal life and she relished every moment of it.

Even Jason and Elizabeth’s lives had started to follow the trend. Though it had been rocky from the moment they’d moved in together–with Jason trying so hard not to fail her that he ended up irritating her by always being around. Her hormones were all over the place and one day, she’d told him to get the hell out and stop hovering. He’d taken it literally and had retreated to his own penthouse for a week, making Elizabeth just as miserable. She hadn’t realized how much she’d come to count on having him around or finding excuses to touch him.

Even the sight of his clothes in the dresser depressed her.

She said nothing and neither did he so Emily took it upon herself to straighten them both out by locking them in a room together at the new apartment. A lot of yelling commenced. Jason finally lost it and was telling her how selfish and spoiled she was acting when her hormones got the better of her and she jumped him.

Which of course led to a rather embarrassing situation when Emily came into check on them and found them passionately kissing on their way to the bed.

Jason put the penthouses up for sale the next day and officially moved in with Elizabeth, making everyone sigh in relief.

The end of the school year was approaching and Maxie had talked Sage and Georgie into performing at the high school talent show which Sage wondered if she’d been drugged into agreeing. She was nervous enough with Lucas graduating from PC High and heading off to the college. She didn’t need to add the extra pressures of performing in front of the whole student body–most of whom didn’t like her.

But Maxie could talk a priest into breaking his vows and she’d talked her shy sister and reluctant best friend into doing some girl group song.

And now here she was in the bathroom, trying not to poke her eye out with her mascara wand, as Michael was perched on the toilet next to her. “Why do you wear that gunk anyway?” he asked distastefully.

“Because it makes my eyes darker.” Sage slid the wand back inside the tube. “Why do you play in the dirt?” she teased back.

He shrugged. “Do you think Mom and Lorenzo will have another kid?” he asked curiously.

Sage frowned. “Morgan’s not enough for you?” she asked. She fished through her makeup bag to find her charcoal eye shadow.

“Well, I want a little sister,” Michael replied. “I mean, you’re awesome and it’s cool having an older sister but all boys should have a sister to look out for you know? Morgan won’t need me forever.”

Sage quirked an eyebrow. “You are an odd duck, Michael, my boy.” She clucked her tongue. “I dunno if Carly and Uncle Zo will have a baby. They’ve barely been together.”

“But maybe that would break them up,” Michael said hesitantly. “Mom and Daddy were okay until Morgan was born and then Daddy went away.”

“A lot of marriages end in divorce.” Sage shrugged. “And some people don’t wait long enough for the divorce to be final.”

“Your mom didn’t?” Michael questioned.

“Nope. Took off when I was a kid. My father got a divorce a few years later when he met Brenda.” The love of her father’s life. Whom she had never met.

Carly stepped up to the doorway, a letter in her hand. “Sage, this was in the mail today.” Her forehead was creased in confusion as she handed it to her. “Post marked London.”

London. She’d written Brenda Barrett ages ago hoping the former model would tell her that Luis Alcazar had mentioned his teenaged daughter. She set her make up down and ripped it open.

Dear Sage,

Sincerely,
Brenda Barrett

“What is it?” Michael demanded, standing on the tips of his toes to see the letter.

“I wrote Brenda Barrett a few months ago, asking about my father,” Sage whispered. She raised her eyes to Carly. “He told her about me.”

Carly exhaled slowly. “He did.”

“Brenda says he kept me away to keep me safe but that he loved me in his own way.” Sage’s hands were trembling but she struggled to keep her tears in check.

As much as she loathed and despised the brunette, Carly sent her a silent thank you. Whether Brenda was lying or not, she’d given Sage something no one else could have.

Her father.

There was something else in the envelope. A photograph with a post-it note attached. In Brenda’s messy scrawl, she had written. Luis gave this to me once and I saved it because I wanted to remember something good.

The photo was of her father, holding a young Sage. She couldn’t have been more than five or six in it. He was wearing one of his trademark suits and sitting in a chair, his arms wrapped around his daughter’s waist. Her long dark hair was pulled into a set of pigtails and she wore a blue and red sailor dress.

Sage turned it over and a little sound left her throat as she read her father’s handwriting. Luis and Sage. 1993.

Her hands were shaking now and she shoved Michael aside to sit on the closed toilet. “He gave her a picture of us. I didn’t—I didn’t even know this existed.”

Carly took it from her and smiled. “It’s a beautiful picture. Maybe we should get it blown up and framed.” She handed it back.

Sage smiled hopefully. “Yeah?”

“Sure. Now–finish getting ready. Michael, go check on Morgan,” Carly ordered. “And stop bothering Sage.”

Michael pouted but raced out of the room to play with his little brother who was getting more and more interesting by the day. Carly smiled at Sage before leaving the bathroom.

Sage clutched the letter and picture in her hand and closed her eyes. Her father had loved her.

Jason and Elizabeth’s Apartment

“I’m fat,” Elizabeth pouted. “My fat coat doesn’t even fit me anymore.” She gave up trying to pull the lightwight material over her pregnant abdomen and glared at Jason. “This is all your fault, you know that?”

“I seem to remember you being present for it,” Jason replied. He peered inside the closet. “Did you pack that bag like I told you too?”

She scowled and yanked her coat off. “I’m not a child,” she began but broke off in the middle of it and winced. “Ow.”

“Are you okay?” Jason asked immediately. He settled his hands over her belly and peered at her anxiously. “Are you having contractions?”

“No—” Elizabeth winced again. “But this kid has one mean right hook.”

“You’re only a week away from your due date. I’m not sure if we should be going out tonight,” Jason fretted.

“Once we have the baby, I’ll be lucky to see daylight. Besides, I promised Carly and I promised Bobbie to go see Maxie and Georgie since she’s stuck at the hospital.” She kissed his chin since she couldn’t quite get on the tips of her toes to reach his lips. “And you promised her you were accepting Lorenzo and Sage.”

“I am. Sage is a very nice kid and Michael likes her.” Jason frowned. “I tolerate Alcazar.”

“And all Michael has done for the past few weeks is chatter on and on about Sage being in this. It’s important to him, too.” She gripped his forearms and smiled up at her. “So we’re going.”

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

“You have a bad feeling about opening the refrigerator door,” Elizabeth grumbled as she hung up her coat. She was hit with another little pain but kept it out of her eyes.

Port Charles High: Backstage

Maxie hummed as she fluffed out her freshly curled hair. She adjusted the strap of her tank top and examined her panty hose for runs.

Next to her, Georgie was trying to remember how to breathe. She must have lost her mind, letting her sister talk her into this. Just wait until this was all over–she’d make her pay.

The door to the stage area opened and Sage entered, Lucas behind her. He kissed her a few times and seemed reluctant to leave but he finally did and Sage was still a little dazed when she joined them.

“I can’t believe it’s finally here,” Maxie said excitedly. “Kyle drove all the way from Yale to see us.”

“To see you,” Georgie said moodily. She shot her sister a dark look. “If we make asses of ourselves, I’m coming for you.”

“We’re not going to. We’ve practiced until our brains and our feet hurt,” Maxie said reasonably. “We’re going to win.”

Sage snorted. “As long as we don’t come in last place, I’m not sure I really care.”

“We come in last place and I’ll cut your hair off while you sleep and dye the rest of it green,” Georgie threatened.

Port Charles High: Audience

“So I’ve never heard Georgie sing,” Dillon began. “What if she’s bad? How do I tell her she rocked without getting nabbed for lying?”

He asked Kyle because he figured Kyle had more experience about lying to girls than he did. Plus–Lucas was so far gone over Sage he’d probably think her burping was melodic.

“Tell her you’ve never heard anything like it,” Kyle suggested helpfully. “She’ll take it as a compliment and you’ll know the truth.” He shifted in the uncomfortable wooden chairs. “I hope they’re on first.”

“I hope they don’t suck,” Dillon muttered.

“You think Sage would marry me?” Lucas asked.

Kyle blinked and Dillon gaped. “She’s seventeen,” the former sputtered while the latter continued to gape.

“So?” Lucas asked defensively. “Haven’t you ever looked at Maxie and just known?”

“Sure. I know I’ve got something special with Maxie but…I’m nineteen years old. She’s seventeen.” Kyle’s face paled. “Do you know what her dad could do to me?”

Dillon’s face was drained of color. “Do you know what Sage’s uncle could do to you?” he asked Lucas.

“He likes me. He thinks I’m good for her.” Lucas shrugged. “I’m not saying we’d elope tomorrow or even before we’re done college. I’d just like to know she wants the same things.”

“I’ve heard about this,” Dillon nodded. “Temporary insanity. I’ve had it myself. Don’t worry, buddy, this will pass.”

Lucas glared at him.

Across The Room

To her credit, Courtney barely blinked as she sat in the empty seat next to Elizabeth. Brian took a seat next to her and Courtney was pleased that she felt nothing but disinterest in the pregnancy of the woman next to her.

For a while, the thought of it had stung but she thought she was finally reaching a better phase in her life.

“Hey,” Elizabeth greeted, trying to pretend there was no reason to be awkward.

“Hey. How are you feeling?” Courtney asked warmly.

“Fat,” the other woman grumbled sending a nasty look to what she called the cause of the problem.

Courtney laughed. “You’re due any day aren’t you?”

“May 21,” Elizabeth said.

“Should you be out?” Courtney replied, a little concerned.

“That’s what I told her,” Jason muttered. Elizabeth shot him a look that told him what he could do with his opinion.

“I’ll go into labor whether I’m locked in my room or sitting at Kelly’s.” She winced. “This kid is going to learn that kicking his mother is not nice.” She cleared her throat. “It was nice of you to drive all the way here for Sage.”

“She means a lot to Carly,” Courtney told her. “And Carly’s my sister.” She grimaced. “Though I hope at least some of these kids aren’t tone deaf.”

“Ssh,” Carly hissed. “It’s starting.” She looked to Lorenzo. “I’ve got the digital camera. You got the video?”

Lorenzo held up the camcorder. “Ready to go.”

 Port Charles High: Stage

The girls were on fourth from the last, making their friends and family sit through almost an hour of kids who ranged from talented the downright scary.

The lights dimmed and as they began rise, the music for That Don’t Impress Me Much by Shania Twain began to filter through the speakers. Carly grinned. “Nice choice.”

Their performance consisted of nothing more than some decent dance moves and each girl taking a turn strutting across the stage as they belted out the lyrics of each verse. What Maxie lacked in talent, she made up for in enthusiasm and surprisingly, Georgie could carry a decent tune. But it was Sage that swept the audience off its feet as her clear soprano echoed in the cavernous room.

When it was over, everyone was on their feet, clapping and hollering. Georgie was glad she didn’t have to follow through on her threat to her sister or that Dillon wouldn’t have to fumble for a lie. Poor boy.

Four groups later, they announced the winners and it came as no surprise that their girls had captured first place.

Maxie let out a loud whoop as Georgie threw her arms around Sage in her excitement.

Sage hugged Georgie tightly and somewhere in the back of her mind, she saw the picture of herself and her father.

The Cellar

“A toast,” Carly said, raising her glass of champagne. The others in the room held up their own glasses, the kids and Elizabeth dutifully drinking juice. “To the three most talented kids in Port Charles.”

“I object!” Kyle called from the back. “I have talents.”

“Yeah, too bad none of them can be shown in public,” Dillon cracked.

“Most talented girls,” Carly qualified.

Kyle snorted. “Well that clears me and Lucas.”

Carly rolled her eyes and motioned for Sage to come towards her. “We have an announcement to make. I got a call just before we left for the school and I was hoping to celebrate it tonight.” She smiled at Lorenzo. “The adoption’s final, Sage.”

Sage’s brown eyes lit up and she looked from her uncle back to Carly. “Yeah?”

“Carly has adopted Sage,” Lorenzo qualified to the rest of the surprised crowd. Sage threw her arms around Carly before going to her uncle and hugging him too.

After that, Carly turned on the music and let the party loose. Elizabeth escaped to the bathroom after a little while.

Courtney was in there and for a moment the two women just looked at each other hesitantly. “Some announcement huh?”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth rested her palms against the marble sink counter and closed her eyes. “He sure is active tonight,” she murmured, rubbing her belly.

“So it’s a boy?” Courtney asked.

“We wanted to be surprised–” Elizabeth gasped and clutched the counter. “Okay–that hurt a little more than a kick to the ribs.”

Alarmed, Courtney approached her. “How long have you been having these pains?” she asked intently.

“He’s just kicking–but on and off for a couple of hours I guess,” Elizabeth shrugged.

Courtney bit her lip. “Could you be in labor?”

As if on cue, a rushing sound broke the silence and Elizabeth looked down with some dread. “Since my water just broke, I think it’s a pretty safe bet.”

+7

December 12, 2003

Elizabeth’s Apartment: Kitchen

She slid the tray of bread into the oven and set the timer for eight minutes. The kitchen had been silent since she told him it wasn’t a big deal. Silent–and heavy with awkwardness.

She stirred her sauce once more. “Jason–it’s okay that you have to work this weekend,” Elizabeth said finally.

He sighed. “I’m sorry–I scheduled this stuff now so I’d be free during the holidays. I know how much you like Christmas.” Jason shook his head. “And in trying to avoid disappointing you later, I’m just doing it earlier–”

“Hey, I’m the one who sprang it on you last minute, okay?” She went to the fridge and pulled out a pitcher of iced tea. “Am I disappointed? Sure. But it is not a big deal.”

“It is. We’ve been working on this for less two weeks and–”

“Jason, look at me.” She rounded the island and sat down on the stool next to him. “Do I look upset?”

He met her eyes and shook his head. “No, but–”

“But so what if you’re not going to pick out a Christmas tree with me? You don’t even like them. However…” she smirked. “As punishment, you are going to help me decorate so you’d better work me in for an hour or so next week.”

“I think I can do that,” Jason replied with a little smile.

“Yeah, because I bet if I looked in one of those boxes I haven’t unpacked yet, I’ll find those paper chains.” She kissed his cheek and stood to finish dinner.

He watched her stir the sauce once more before starting on a salad and found himself wondering if maybe it would work this time.

Port Charles High: Gym

Sage sipped her punch and watched Lucas dance with Georgie while she stood awkwardly off to the side with Dillon.

“So…you like your classes?” Dillon asked, scratching his forehead.

“Can’t stand geometry. Probably gonna fail it,” Sage replied. She stared into her red juice and shifted. Standing still in heels was so not her idea of a good time.

“Yeah,” Dillon nodded. “Math is not my thing, either.” He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his tux jacket. “Lucas is a lot more bearable these days. He, like, hated me. Georgie had to avoid him most of the summer.”

“Maxie mentioned that,” Sage remarked. “Said they both avoided him.”

“Well–Lucas has a good reason not to like Kyle. He was trying to get Maxie in bed and then he hid a web cam in his room and broadcasted her first time over the net.”

Sage’s eyes bulged. “And she’s still dating him?”

“Yeah, I like Maxie and all but she went through a rough time this summer. Kyle’s not the same kid he was last spring. He goes to Yale, did you know that?”

“No. I guess it’s matured him?” Sage suggested.

“I guess. We haven’t seen much of him since he left for Connecticut in September. He had a late start and had to catch up.” Dillon cleared his throat. “Yeah, but Lucas didn’t like me for no reason at all. But he’s been downright nice to me since you started coming around so I guess what Lucas has been saying is true. You’re not the girl you were when you first got here.”

“No. I was–I’ve been working through a lot of stuff this last month and like I said, I really am sorry for the way I acted when I first moved here,” Sage said honestly. “But it was really no more than you were cute and I wanted to get myself into the most trouble possible. I was trying to prove something and it just–it didn’t work.”

“I know things have been–well, weird since last week and I know it’s mostly my fault,” Dillon admitted. “Georgie and I had a really rough time because of that stunt and we’re just now getting back on track.”

“I’ve only got eyes for Lucas,” Sage assured him. “He’s been so nice to me–the first guy that I’ve met who didn’t expect me to…you know…put out. I really like him.”

“Well, then I think we should all make an extra effort since you and Maxie seem to be getting along and I know Georgie’s close with both her and Lucas.” He took her punch from her and then took her hand and led her on the dance floor next to Georgie, Lucas, Maxie and Kyle. “You mind if I dance with the pretty girl?” he called to Lucas.

“Long as you give her back,” Lucas joked.

Sage rolled her eyes. “Please. He is so not my type.” She met Georgie’s eyes as she said it, hoping she’d read the honesty through the joke. “That hair? Come on.”

Georgie giggled. “He puts so much gel in it sometimes I think it’ll cut me.”

“Hey, I so resent the turn this conversation has taken,” Dillon said, pretending to be offended. “I’ll have you know that this hair is one of a kind.”

“Yeah, who else would want it?” Kyle offered with a smirk.

Carly’s House

Sage carefully slid open the door, hoping no one would notice it was twelve-ten and she was late.

But she had nothing to worry about since her uncle was passed out on the couch with Carly tucked under one of his arms.

She grinned. Looked like they both had a good night.

December 13, 2003

Courtney’s House: Living Room

She bit her lip and ripped the tape off another box. Carly had shipped the rest of her things to Haye’s Landing that week and she was in the middle of unpacking everything while packing for her trip back to Port Charles to spend two weeks with her brother.

The phone rang and she reached for the cordless phone she’d bought earlier that week. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Hey, Carly.” Courtney cradled the phone between her shoulder and cheek as she removed a photo album. “What’s up?”

“I just got my film developed from last night and I wanted to call and tell someone,” Carly remarked gleefully. “Are you busy?”

“Nothing I can’t handle while talking. Film for what?” Courtney flipped to the first page and smiled when she saw a rare photo of herself as a child with her father.

“Sage had a dance last night. Oh, she looked so adorable. We must have shopped for hours for the perfect dress.”

“So, things are good with you and Sage?” Courtney asked, flipping to the next page. These were just school photos of her. Janine had never been one for the camera and by this time, Mike was gone.

“They’re great, she’s a very sweet girl. Lorenzo just adores her and you know–I really feel like they’re so much closer now than they were originally.”

“Sounds like things are good,” Courtney murmured. Pictures of her childhood bled into her teenaged years.

“On the surface, yeah. Lorenzo and I are getting along–he’s not pushing me and I really think this could go somewhere.” Carly sighed. “But…”

“But what?” Courtney prompted.

“But Sonny’s in the back of my mind. I feel like I need to see him before he–before he goes. I’m inviting him to Christmas dinner.”

“Won’t that be awkward?” Courtney asked curiously. “With Lorenzo and Sage there?”

Carly hesitated. “Well…I think we found a way around that. You and Sonny are going to be here with the boys for dinner. And Lorenzo and Sage are going with me to a brunch.”

“Brunch? Where?” Courtney sighed as she came to the section of the album with photos of her and AJ during their brief marriage. She’d really loved him. She traced her fingertips over his face.

“Ah…you know what, Courtney…”

“With Elizabeth and Jason,” Courtney remarked softly. She stared a photo that she and AJ had taken of themselves the July they were married. He’d picked her up from Kelly’s after a long shift and he’d wrapped her arm around her shoulders and taken the photo himself. The angle was a little off but he was smiling and she was turned towards him, laughing.

And Elizabeth and Jason were in the background, standing by the door. They were no more than a blur, really. But they were there.

They were always there, she realized and Elizabeth had always been in the back of her mind. Was she–Courtney–the consolation prize? Someone who was good enough to sleep with, to pretend she was the only one because he couldn’t have the woman he really wanted?

“Courtney?” Carly’s voice was soft now. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Courtney–“

“No–okay, I’m not really fine. I just–I’m unpacking and I found this picture of me and AJ at Kelly’s a-and there they are. Together. God damn it, Carly, why couldn’t I just see it? Why did I have to torture myself for a year trying to prove I was good enough? That even though I wasn’t Elizabeth, I was good enough?” She slammed the book shut and stood.

“Honey–“

“And you know what the real kicker is? The thing that really makes me laugh? I knew it. I knew it all along. I told her to talk to him, Carly. I told Jason that Elizabeth was dying inside and she wanted him back–I tried to get them back together. I knew he loved her.”

“But you loved him–it doesn’t always matter what you know when it comes to what you feel–“

“I’m not even sure of that anymore.” She closed her eyes. “I’m just–I’m wondering if I loved Jason–or I loved being safe. He made me feel safe and he filled the empty void in me when I found out what AJ had been doing. But did I really love him?”

“Courtney…” Carly sighed. “I’m not going to tell you how you felt. I think you both needed each other. You both didn’t want to face reality and–okay, it was a rebound relationship that went further than it should. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t love each other.”

“I liked my life with AJ,” Courtney confessed. “Living in that little apartment, every piece of furniture–every possession hard-earned and fought for. I like supporting myself a–and not having to look over my shoulder all the time. I like thinking that Brian is going to show up with a cup of hot chocolate unexpectedly or that I can call him and talk to him and there’s nothing that has to be held back.” She moved to her front window and peered out onto the lawn. “I care about Brian, Carly, and he says he can give me the time I need…”

“Then what’s wrong?” Carly asked. “If he’s willing to wait and you care about him–where’s the problem?”

“The problem is that saying something and doing it are totally different. Brian says he can wait–but what if it gets to be six months or even a year before I’m ready to move on with him?”

“Then screw him,” Carly said simply. “He doesn’t have the right to make you feel bad for knowing what you are and are not ready for. You’re ending a marriage and your husband has already moved in with his new girlfriend. Don’t think I don’t know that hurts.”

“It hurts–but I think it would hurt worse if it were someone else,” Courtney admitted. “I know–I know that it sounds weird. Even crazy. But if he’d just picked someone off the street in September, slept with her and got her pregnant and then moved in with her–that would destroy me.”

“But because it’s Elizabeth…”

“Because it’s her, I can accept that’s not all my fault. I didn’t drive him to cheat on me and he’s not leaving me because he doesn’t love me.” She exhaled. “He’s leaving me because he loves her and I’m leaving him because I’m not fond of who I am when I’m with him. I hate it, actually. I hate being scared all the time and not feeling good enough and if Elizabeth can handle it–fine. He’s loved her longer than he’s even known me and somehow–that makes it better.”

She saw Brian’s car pull into the driveway and smiled. “Carly?”

“Yeah?”

“Brian just pulled up and I’m smiling. This…this is a good sign, right?”

“Oh–I think so. Lorenzo just walked in the door and I’m smiling too.” The man in questioned grinned at Carly’s words. “I’ll let you go.”

“Thanks, Carly.” Courtney hit the end button and set the phone down. She had the door open before he could knock. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He hesitated. “I’m sorry about last night–I promised I wouldn’t push and then in the next words, I did and I’m sorry–”

“No–I’m glad you pushed. And I’m still not ready for more than a friendship,” Courtney admitted. “But…I will be and I hope you’re still going to be there.”

“I’m in this for the long haul,” Brian told her. He took a step forward and gently kissed her forehead–his hand lingering on her cheek as he pulled away. “For as long as you want me, I’ll be here.”

General Hospital: Lobby

Elizabeth set her purse down on the desk. “Can you call up to Nikolas Cassadine’s office and let him know that I’m here to meet him for lunch.”

“Sure thing,” the receptionist remarked. She picked up the phone and pressed a button. A few moments later, she set it down. “He’ll be right down.”

Someone cleared their throat and Elizabeth turned. “Gram…hey.”

“Hello, Elizabeth.” Audrey hesitated. “I stopped by Kelly’s earlier this week and Bobbie mentioned that you’d already taken your leave of absence. How are you going to pay your rent? Your bills?”

Elizabeth sighed. “Jason and I–we’re living together part of the time,” she admitted. “I called to give you my new address–”

“So I can assume you’re letting him foot the bills.” Audrey pressed her lips together. “Not that he can’t afford it, of course but that’s above and beyond the point. He’s a married man, Elizabeth–”

“He’s getting a divorce and–I love him, Gram. I love him like you love Grandpa,” she said softly. “Why can’t you accept that?”

“Because you deserve better than Jason Morgan,” Audrey said firmly. “Because he will hurt you again. He will hurt you and I fear it will be worse than Lucky Spencer or Ric Lansing.”

Elizabeth’s eyes burned with tears. “I hurt him too, Gram. So many times and he still loves me. Why is it everyone assumes he will hurt me when I’m the one who jerked him around for three years and then walked out when it got a little tough?”

“Elizabeth…” Audrey stepped towards her. “I love you and it’s so hard to be angry with you but I just–why couldn’t you have loved someone else? Someone safe, someone who deserves your love–”

“He does deserve it and I tried to find someone else. I thought that I had. I went out and looked for a man who was what I loved about Jason but who wasn’t so hard to understand or difficult to get through to–and I found Ric. I tried the safe route, Gram and Ric hurt me more than anyone’s ever hurt me in my life. He lied to me, he used me, he drugged me and he nearly killed me. Yes, Jason’s life–it’s not the one I dreamed of when I was a little girl but I never have to look at him and wonder if he’s working an angle or if I’m fulfilling a purpose for him. He would never do those things to me or let anyone else do it either.”

“I don’t–I love you so much, Elizabeth. I don’t understand your decisions but they’re yours to make.” Audrey sighed and embraced her granddaughter tightly. “Does he make you smile, Elizabeth?”

She hugged her grandmother back tightly and closed her eyes, fighting back tears. “Yeah, he does.”

“Good–you don’t do it nearly enough.”

+8

December 2, 2003

Elizabeth’s Apartment: Bedroom

Elizabeth was a little startled when she felt the bed dip and someone slide in underneath the blanket. “Jason?” she murmured, dragging her heavy eyes open.

“Sorry I’m late.” He kissed her forehead. “A meeting ran over.”

She yawned and slid into a sitting position. “How did the sentencing go? The cable’s not hooked up yet so I missed the news.”

“He got the six years minimum deal I told Carly about. But the judge allowed him some leniency and his sentence doesn’t start until January 1.”

“So he can spend Christmas with the boys, that’s good.” Elizabeth pressed the heel of her hand against her eyes and rubbed. “Okay. I’m going back to sleep now.”

She shifted back down and turned on her side, curling up. “I have a doctor’s appointment December 28 if that’s okay.”

“Sure,” he agreed. “Good night.”

“‘Night,” she murmured.

December 12, 2003

Carly’s House

Lorenzo studied the disposable camera. “And if I need the flash?”

Michael pointed. “You press this down,” he said. “Like this.” He held it up and took a picture, nearly blinding Lorenzo in the process.

“Michael, how many times do I have to tell you that’s not funny?” Carly called from the stairwell.

Lorenzo blinked. “I’m seeing spots.” He shook his head, trying to clear his vision. “Is she almost ready?”

“Just about.” Carly stepped off the landing and peered out the lace-trimmed curtains. “She’s got about ten minutes before the others get here.” She turned and smiled. “She looks so beautiful. She’s gonna knock Lucas’s socks off.”

Lorenzo scowled. “I don’t want her knocking off anyone’s socks.”

She laughed and kissed his cheek. “She’s gonna grow up sometime.”

“Okay, I’m ready!” Sage called.

“Get the camera,” Carly elbowed Lorenzo. He retrieved it from Michael. “Okay, we’re ready!”

Sage stepped down the first few steps and tugged nervously at the hem of her knee-length black silk dress. It was strapless with a straight cut across her chest, the dark color setting off her tan skin perfectly. “So…how do I look?”

“Beautiful,” Lorenzo said. He snapped a picture. “Put a jacket on.”

Carly rolled her eyes and moved to the closet. “I didn’t tell you when we were at the store but I picked this up for you.” She removed a white silk wrap. “It can get cold out and you don’t want to ruin the effect with a winter jacket, right?”

“Oh…I love it.” She kissed Carly’s cheek. Carly helped her wrap it around her shoulders. “Better Uncle Zo?”

“Still too much skin,” he grumbled.

“You look like a princess from one of my Final Fantasy games,” Michael said seriously. “Except their boobs are bigger and they always have blue or pink hair.”

“Thanks, buddy…I think.” Sage checked her makeup and hair in the mirror one last time, touching the French twist self-consciously. “Thanks for letting us use your limo, Uncle Zo.”

“My pleasure.” Lorenzo smirked. “The car will be outside the dance the whole night in case you want to leave early.”

“You told the driver we wanted to go to Kelly’s afterwards right?” Sage asked hopefully.

“Yes, but you have to be home by midnight,” Carly said firmly. She handed her the matching purse. “No negotiating.”

“Twelve-thirty,” Sage tried anyway. “Please?”

“Kelly’s closes at eleven-thirty. It shouldn’t take any longer than that to drive everyone home,” Carly said. “Right, Lorenzo?”

“Carly’s right. Midnight.”

Sage pouted. “Fine.” She peered out the window and grinned. “There are cars pulling up. They’re here!” She turned back around and hugged Carly tightly. “Thanks for helping me get ready and letting me stay over tonight.”

“I want to meet this boy,” Lorenzo began but Carly put a hand over his mouth.

“Bye!” Sage called. She pulled open the door and disappeared after her.

Carly and Lorenzo waited exactly three seconds before dashing to the window and fighting over who got to look first. Michael rolled his eyes and went back to playing a video game.

Outside

“Wow, you look awesome!” Maxie said with a huge smile. She tugged on the elbow of the guy standing next to her, the vest and bow tie of his tuxedo matching the cranberry red of Maxie’s spaghetti strap dress. “Kyle, this is Sage Alcazar. Sage, Kyle Radcliffe.”

“Maxie’s been chewing my ear off since I got home last night.” He kissed his girlfriend’s forehead. “Telling me all about her cousin’s new girlfriend.”

Sage flushed. “There’s nothing to tell.” She scanned the area behind him, her eyes settling on an equally tuxedo-clad Lucas. He, too, had dressed to match her black dress.

He crossed the grass and kissed her cheek. “Hey, I got this corsage thing for you.” He held up the box. “White. Figured it would look good.”

“I figured it would,” Georgie corrected smoothly as she and Dillon joined them. She had a dress that matched her sister’s, only the straps were thicker and the color was a dark violet. “Hey, Sage.”

“Hey.” Though they’d all been eating lunch together and hanging out over the last two weeks, Sage, Dillon and Georgie were still awkward around each other.

“Um, so is that the limo?” Dillon asked. He rubbed his neck. “We should go.”

Sage sighed as the two walked towards the long stretch limo. She barely even noticed as Lucas removed the orchid from the plastic case and slid it onto her wrist. “They still hate me.”

“They do not hate you. It’s just–it’s just going to be weird for a while. But they’ll get over it.” He entwined their fingers. “All you have to do tonight is look beautiful and keep me from knocking out Kyle. Don’t worry about them.”

“He seems very nice,” Sage remarked as he pulled her towards the limo. “And it’s obvious that he adores her. Everyone deserves a second chance, Lucas.”

He turned and looked at her with an appreciative smile. “You’re right. After all–three weeks ago, I told myself that you were just a spoiled little brat and well–you’re like the opposite of that.”

“Thank you,” she said. She touched his face, the soft petals of the orchid brushing his face. “You’re second best thing about living here.”

“What’s the first?” Lucas asked, covering her hand with his own.

“Well…my family,” Sage admitted. “Carly, Uncle Zo, Michael, you know.”

“Hey, you two! Let’s get this show on the road!” Maxie called from inside the car.

Harborview Towers: Hallway

“Hey Jason!”

Jason turned away from the elevator he’d just been about to board when he heard Sonny call his name.

“Sonny?”

“Hey…I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for the last few days.” Sonny rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re not spending a lot of time at the penthouse.”

“No.” Jason shrugged. “Elizabeth agreed to try living together part-time so when I’m not at her place, I’m down at the warehouse. Did you need something?”

“Yeah–yeah, I don’t know if Courtney said something but I’ve been seeing Kevin Collins since the sentencing,” Sonny informed him.

Jason shook his head. “I haven’t seen Courtney in almost two weeks. I didn’t know she was still in town.”

“She was but she, ah, had to get back to Haye’s Landing. She had a job interview. Yeah–Kevin’s gonna be working at Ferncliffe so he’s gonna be my doctor. And I’ve been–I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, Jason and I didn’t–I haven’t been very fair to you.” He sighed. “I was trying so hard to keep my family together that I didn’t see what was really going on. You weren’t happy, my sister wasn’t…Carly wasn’t. And I wasn’t either.”

“I’m sorry that it all exploded at the same time.” Jason exhaled slowly and scratched the edge of his eyebrow with his index finger. “I didn’t–I mean, I’m sorry you had to find this all out from Ric. I just hadn’t figured out how to tell you–”

“There is no right way to tell your best friend something like that–especially when he happens to be your wife’s brother.” Sonny shook his head. “Anyway, what happened–it happened for a reason. And, you know, you’re all probably better off. Carly’s been at me to get help pretty much since the first time she saw a breakdown but I always thought I could handle it on my own.”

“But you crossed that line two weeks ago,” Jason said quietly.

“I crossed the line,” Sonny agreed. “And there’s no way to tell Carly that I’m sorry, no way to express that to her and I don’t deserve to. I became my stepfather, Jason, and that’s why I’m removing myself from all of you. I can’t–I won’t put anyone else in that sort of danger.”

“Crossing that line once does not make you Deke,” Jason argued firmly. “Yeah–it was pretty bad. And I wish to God I could have prevented it in some way but the difference between you and your stepfather is that you did it and you knew you needed to find a way to keep it from happening again. You knew that you were wrong and you want help. Deke felt justified and continued doing it. Don’t ever say you’re him.”

“I don’t–I don’t deserve to have a friend like you, Jason,” Sonny said quietly. “You’ve always been in my corner when all I’ve really done is hurt you. I hope–I hope this thing with Elizabeth is the real thing. You know–I said some things to her that I didn’t mean. I always liked her, Jason. You know that.”

“I know that, and she does too. She was worried about you that day,” Jason told him.

“Yeah–I don’t really remember her being there but I remember you telling her to get Carly out of there.” Sonny sighed. “I haven’t talked to Carly since that night. Do you–do you think she’d agree to see me? I mean–she can have anyone she wants there. You, Courtney, a dozen guards. I just–I need a chance to tell her that I’m sorry and that I love her.”

“I can talk to her,” Jason told him. “I can’t promise you more than that, Sonny. I won’t convince her to do something she’s not ready for. She knows that you didn’t want to hurt her but she’s not going to forget any time soon what you did.”

“You know–you used…you used to be like this. Letting people talk, doing what you could for them but letting them make their own decisions. I never realized how much I depended on you to fix things for me this last year–but now that you don’t do it, I realize how out of character it was for you to do that. Why did you?”

Jason hesitated. “The best thing I can think of is that I didn’t realize I was doing it. A lot of things changed for me last year, Sonny. I was–I was in a bad place for a while when Elizabeth walked out on me a-and I didn’t see it. I just–I guess I was doing everything I could to keep the other people who were more important to me from leaving me, too.” He shook his head a little. “Elizabeth–you know, she told me that I had changed but I didn’t–I didn’t understand what she meant until now.”

“Well–I said what I needed to say.” Sonny stepped back. “I’d like to work on being a good friend to you again–if you’ll let me.”

“You’ve always been a good friend to me, Sonny,” Jason corrected. “You just lost your way for a while. I’m glad you’re getting the help you need. I’m just sorry it had to work out like this.”

“Me, too,” Sonny sighed. “Me, too.”

Haye’s Landing: Courtney’s House

Courtney licked the whipped cream off her thumb and thumbed through the stack of papers. “I never knew there was so much paperwork involved with getting a job.”

Brian leaned over and dipped his spoon into her melting sundae. “Well, there’s insurance papers, right? And there’s tax forms and all that.”

“Plus this thing I have to fill out about my car and license.” Courtney slid her ice cream bowl out of his reach when he went for another bite. “I don’t even know if I’ll make a decent receptionist.”

“When do you start?” Brian asked. He picked up his empty bowl and headed for the sink.

“January 3,” she answered, filling in her driver’s license number. “I asked for that so I can spend more time with Sonny before he starts his sentence.” She cleared her throat. “I’m actually driving back home on Sunday and staying until he goes. I’ve got some last details to tie up there anyway.”

“If you want, I’ll drive down Christmas Eve,” Brian offered. He set the bowl in the drying rack and retuned to his seat.

“Brian–” Courtney sighed. “We’ve been tip-toeing around this for weeks. Can we just be honest here?”

“Honest about what?” Brian asked. “I thought we were being honest. We’re friends, Courtney. I want more. You’re not ready and you won’t be for a long time. That’s fine–”

“Don’t do that.” Courtney tossed her pen down. “That day in the parking garage–I just–I don’t know what was I thinking.”

“You were thinking that the motorcycle belonged to your husband and he might see you kissing another man–”

“No!” Courtney argued. “That is–” she broke off and took a deep breath. “Brian, I care about you. I do. And I want–I want to be able to give you the things you want. But I have to feel okay about myself and I don’t. Yes, my marriage is over. But I spent so long fighting for it to work that I lost sight of who I was and none of that changes the fact that I love my husband. I don’t want to hurt you, Brian but–”

“I knew you were married when I met you,” Brian interrupted. “And I know that you still love him. And I know that you need time. I know of all of these things up here–” he paused and pointed to his head. “It’s here that’s having the problems.” He set his hand over his chest. “I’m not asking you to forget all about Jason and your life in Port Charles. I understand that you have family there, friends–I’m not asking you to give that all up. I’m just–I’m just asking for you to make some room for me.”

Carly’s House

Carly stepped off the landing for the steps and made her way across the room, picking up Michael’s various toys and dropping them in the toy box next to the couch. “She looked so beautiful,” she said, sitting on the couch next to Lorenzo, who was flipping through the television channels. She turned to the side and put her feet up. Lorenzo slung his arm across her chest and kissed her forehead.

“She did,” he agreed. “That Lucas–he’s a good, kid right?”

“He’s not bad. Not fond of me, but that’s to be expected,” Carly admitted. “But she’s been happy since she started dating him. Happier than when they were just friends.”

“She came in yesterday from school–the apartment is packed with boxes for the move to the new house next week, but she and her friend–that Maxie girl–they made nachos, did their homework and their nails in the living room. I walked in after work and it was like stepping into one of those girl movies. But she was smiling. Port Charles has been good for her. You’ve been good for her, Carly.”

“Well, I adore her.” She reached over and took the remote control from him. “Nick-at-Nite’s on.”

Elizabeth’s Apartment

“Elizabeth?”

“I’m in the kitchen!” Elizabeth called. She studied the color of her sauce and reached for the oregano. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Jason sat on one of the kitchen stools across from her. The stove was situated on the island in the middle of the kitchen. “You’re cooking?”

“Yeah, I figure I gotta conquer this eventually.” She brought the spoon up and extended it across the table. “How does this taste?”

He looked at her suspiciously as if she were trying to poison him but took a taste anyway. “Not bad, actually.”

“Don’t be so surprised.” She stirred the sauce a little more. “Emily was by earlier–she wanted to talk to you about Christmas.”

“What about it?” Jason stood and crossed to the fridge to get a bottle of beer out. “It’s still the same day as last year right?”

Elizabeth shot him an amused look. “Yeah. But she wants to know if we’re going to go over to Wyndemere or if we’re doing it here.”

“Doesn’t matter to me.” Jason shrugged.

“My nausea’s been better but I still don’t feel up to a trip on the launch,” Elizabeth admitted. “We could do it here,” she suggested. “I was talking to Carly yesterday–don’t give me that look–and she wants to do a dinner at her house. She knows it’s the last holiday Sonny will have with the boys for a while so she was hoping you could invite him for her.”

Jason sat back down and took a long pull. “I talked to him today–he caught me in the hallway and he wanted to apologize for a lot of things. He wanted to know if I could ask Carly to give him a chance to talk to her.”

“Well, maybe it would be good for them to have some sort of closure.” Elizabeth filled another pot with water and set it to boil. “Anyway–she wants to do dinner so I thought we could do brunch here with Emily, Nikolas and Lucky. And when I told her that idea, she wanted to know if she could bring the boys, Sage…and Lorenzo.”

Jason closed his eyes. “I do not like that man–”

“I know, but he’s a part of her life now and if she invites Sonny to dinner, Lorenzo can’t come then, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m trying to support her decision the best I can but it’s so hard, you know?”

“You don’t have to come, you know. I’m not coming to her house for dinner.” Elizabeth bit her lip. “She invited Courtney and Brian and I just–I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to go there, you know?”

“Brian Beck is coming?” Jason grimaced. “Is every holiday going to be like this?” he wondered.

She laughed and shook her head. “Maybe we should just do what my family always did. Pretend it doesn’t matter. Of course, that’s just like bottling it all up and that never gets you anywhere.” Elizabeth sighed. “Well, it’s just something to think about.”

She dumped a box of spaghetti into the boiling water and changed the subject. “If you’re not busy–maybe we could go get a Christmas tree sometime this weekend,” she suggested hopefully.

He did have wall-to-wall meetings at the warehouse this weekend, he realized with disappointment. He’d scheduled the meetings with the suppliers and with one of the families to discuss Faith Roscoe now because he knew how important the holidays were to Elizabeth and he wanted to spend them with her.

He cleared his throat. “I–I have some meetings this weekend,” Jason admitted. “But I can cancel a few of them–”

“No, it’s no big deal. I mean, it’s still about two weeks until Christmas. I can ask Nikolas or Lucky.” She pressed her lips together and set about making some garlic bread but he knew he’d let her down.

He took another sip of his beer, irritated with himself. Didn’t take him more than two weeks to screw this one up.

+6

December 2, 2003

Port Charles High: Room 203

Sage was startled by the sound someone dropping their books down in the normally vacated seat next to her. Maxie Jones slid into the seat and sighed. “I hate when it rains. At least snow doesn’t make you look like a wet dog.”

She took a comb out of her purse and started pulling it through her damp hair. “I am so glad we have Fratelli first period. I mean can you imagine having a teacher who expects you to do something at eight-thirty in the morning?”

Maxie stopped talking enough to see Sage looking at her oddly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nobody ever sits by me,” she said nervously. “The whole week I’ve been here, everyone practically crowds at the front of the room to avoid me.”

“Yes…but well, you were Sage Alcazar, Luis Alcazar’s daughter. And you still are to the less intelligent, but to me, you’re my cousin’s girlfriend and therefore, you don’t sit alone. Now, how great was I last night in orchestrating that invitation to the dance?” Maxie proclaimed.

“You might be the strangest person I’ve ever met.” Sage shook her head. “You were great,” she admitted. “After you left, Lucas told he’d wanted to ask me but couldn’t get up the courage.”

“You two are really cute together. I think it’s fabulous that Lucas has someone so we can like triple date and stuff and now I don’t always have tag along with Georgie and Dillon on their dates.” She frowned. “Then again…Lucas isn’t anymore fond of Kyle than they are. How do you feel about reformed bad boys?”

“Well…” Sage smiled. “I suppose it depends on what made them bad.”

“Oh…Kyle wasn’t bad so much as he was stupid. I blame his friends. They wouldn’t know intelligence if it was wrapped in a hot girl’s body and walked up to offer them sex. Anyway, what he did isn’t important so much as he’s now a college guy and he’s reformed like I said.”

“Hey…you seem like a pretty smart girl. If you like him, there must be something good about him.”

Maxie beamed. “I knew we’d get along great. Now you just have to use your influence on Lucas so he doesn’t try to kill him. I spent most of my summer avoiding Lucas and Georgie did too, because he had this thing about her boyfriend. He holds a grudge like no one else can, you know? But he’s my cousin and my best friend and if you can’t forgive family, who can you forgive, right?”

Sage just nodded, sure that even if she said nothing, Maxie would keep talking anyway. She seemed to have that type of personality.

Cameron’s Office

“It’s been a while,” Cameron began their session. “But you called my secretary and said it was an emergency.”

Carly nodded and she shifted nervously in her seat. When she’d brought Michael home the previous day, she’d been unable to find the words to explain the bruise on her face and told her son they’d discuss it later.

“I’m sorry I’ve been canceling appointments,” she said. “It’s been…a crazy week.”

“I can imagine, with the changing of Sonny’s plea yesterday.” Cameron tilted his head to the side. “How do you feel about that?”

“I felt angry then. Betrayed and shocked. I thought Sonny understood but I realize now that he hadn’t crossed his breaking point yet and until he did, he would never accept that he’s sick.”

“And you believe that he’s crossed this point now?”

“I know it.” Carly sighed and brushed her hair out of her face, revealing the dark bruise that even makeup couldn’t cover. “I took him home yesterday. I still love him…not the way I should–or the way he needs but I care what happens to him, you know? But as usual…we started arguing and he was close to the edge…I could see it and the next thing I knew, I was on the floor.”

If Cameron had any reaction to this news, his face didn’t show it. He made a note on a piece of paper she couldn’t really see and motioned for her to continue.

“It’s all a blur after that. Before it sunk in that it even happened, Jason and Elizabeth were there. I guess they heard the shouting. Elizabeth took me over to Jason’s penthouse and got me some ice for my face and she–she really tried to comfort me. She’s good for Jason; I’m finally able to see it.”

Willing to go where Carly’s mind took her, Cameron sat up. “You didn’t before?”

“She was young when they first…when they first got close. Before they were more, they were friends. And–and I was still in love with Jason. I wasn’t willing to see that I couldn’t give Jason what he needed and it took a really long time for to admit that.”

“It was hard for you to let go,” Cameron observed.

“Almost impossible. Every time that fall…it felt like every time I needed Jason, she was with him and my brain wouldn’t get the fact that they were just friends and that’s kind of how Sonny and I started. I saw them dancing in Kelly’s and I went to Sonny for answers. He toyed with me…wouldn’t tell me right out if Jason was seeing Elizabeth and it just–we slept together that night.” Carly sighed and shook her head. “Anyway, it took a really long time but like I said–I believe she’s good for him. In a way that no one has been for him and it’s important to me that he’s happy.”

“It’s good that you’re being honest with yourself, Carly,” Cameron told her. “So Elizabeth was trying to comfort you after the fight.”

“She was trying but she didn’t know what to say and that’s understandable. I didn’t either. Um…I dozed off there. I don’t really know how I could sleep but I did. And when I woke up, Jason was there. He told me that Sonny had agreed to change his plea back and take a deal Scott was going to offer him.”

“So, theoretically, it’s over,” Cameron said. “Sonny crossed his breaking point and is going to get help. You’re okay physically.”

“Right…but it’s not. I try to pretend that it is–that I’m okay. And I have to keep doing that because–well because, I need to take care of myself. If I tell Jason or Lorenzo how I’m feeling–or even Courtney…they’ll want to fix it or press me and I don’t want to hurt them. Besides, Jason and Courtney had too much going on a-and I don’t want to hurt Lorenzo.”

“The last time we spoke, you weren’t clear on your emotions towards him. Has that changed?”

“It has.” Carly sighed and stared at her bare fingers. “When I got my feelings for Sonny back, I always held this idea in my head that it would end. That once the tangible feelings came back, the ones from the dream would go away.”

“And didn’t happen.”

“The opposite really. What I didn’t realize is that all this time–while I was suspended between feeling and not feeling, those feelings from the dream were crystallizing–were finding roots in reality. And when my emotions came back for Sonny…I realized that it didn’t clear anything up. It just made it all more confusing because I love Lorenzo. I am in love with him. But…I love Sonny.”

“But you weren’t ready to return to Sonny when you got those feelings back and I don’t believe that’s changed.”

“Right. If Sonny and I were as strong as we always believed, wouldn’t I have jumped at the idea of returning to him?” Carly stood and started to pace. “We’re due in court at noon, you know? He’s going to change his plea and I don’t know how I can be there but I don’t know how I can’t. I don’t know what’s going on in my head anymore, Cameron. I don’t feel like I’m sure of anything. What if I only think I love Lorenzo because I’m searching for a reason not to go back to Sonny?”

“Do you think that’s true?”

“No,” Carly admitted. “I told Lorenzo that I loved him. And after the Sonny thing yesterday, he listened to me and respected my wishes not to beat Sonny up or some other Neanderthal thing, you know? That means the world to me. That he would respect me enough–believe in me enough. I’ve never…I’ve never had that before. I mean–Jason would listen to me. And then he’d tell me my plans were stupid. Which–okay, yeah, they were. But he’d want to fix things for me. And Sonny wanted to fix me…Lorenzo’s just…he’s letting me be me and that’s…that’s the most incredible thing ever.”

“Well, Carly, what does that tell you?” Cameron asked. “I don’t want to tell you what to feel or think but if you don’t mind, I would like to tell you what I think.”

“Sure.” Carly sat back down.

“I think that you’re a woman who’s been knocked down a lot and that you fight back the only way you know how. Manipulation, schemes, whatever it might be. I get the impression that when you were with Jason or in love with him, your schemes were a bit wild and completely insane. Almost as if you knew they’d blow up in your face and you were hoping he’d rescue you and I think you made the mistake early on of doing that with Sonny. That’s probably why they both have the impression you need to be fixed or taken care of.”

He shifted in his seat and set her file aside. “With Lorenzo, you two came into each other’s life purely by accident. He did many things to gain your love, none of which worked but once he started to just be your friend, it happened naturally. Your face lights up when you talk about him, Carly. In a way that it doesn’t for Sonny. I also think that you’re a woman who needs to stand on her own for a while. Be a mother, be a friend, be a working woman…just do not let yourself fall into the role of Lorenzo’s wife or girlfriend as easily as you did being Sonny’s wife. You need your own identity, something that’s yours. You’re on the right track, Carly, but you’re trying to move it too fast. You think if you hurry along declarations of love or make decisions to decide the rest of your life, you can move on more quickly.”

“I just want to begin my life again,” she sighed. “I want a fresh start.”

“And a fresh start–a real one–only comes when you’ve got closure. You need to resolve your relationship with Sonny before you dream of moving on with Lorenzo.”

Elizabeth’s Apartment

“I can stay for a little while,” Jason told her as he handed her the keys. “But I have to be in court at noon.”

“Okay, well the furniture isn’t due until 10 and we were going to get that unpacked before moving my stuff over.” Elizabeth slid the door open and stepped inside, still overwhelmed by such a huge space.

“I could have gotten some men to do it,” Jason told her. “You know it wouldn’t be a problem.”

“No…it’s better this way.” Elizabeth wandered around the living room, picturing where she’d put her new sofa and things. The old sofa from her studio was going in her bedroom, she’d already decided on that. “We’re going to make a day of it, you know. Unpacking, doing a dinner thing. Try and–well, try and pretend things are normal. It’ll be a weird because Nikolas and Zander do not get along very well–not at all really, but he wanted to help.”

“I’ve got some meetings this afternoon,” Jason said apologetically. “Things have gotten really backed up these last few months and I just want to get it all running smoothly again.”

“You have your own life–its fine.” Elizabeth shrugged. She crossed to a set of windows. These overlooked the city–from the woods to the little suburban streets at the other end of town and all the buildings in between.

“Elizabeth…” Jason took a deep breath. “I’ll be done late but I thought maybe we could try out this compromise tonight. You know…a few nights a week?” he reminded her.

She smiled–and this time it was a genuine smile. “Great. Why don’t you stop by the penthouse and bring some things over?”

“Sounds like a plan,” he agreed. Loathing the idea of bringing this up, but wanting to do it before his sister and the others arrived, he reached into the inside pocket of his leather jacket and withdrew a thick envelope.

She eyed it suspiciously. “What’s in there?” she asked.

“Checkbook for the account we talked about,” Jason told her. “And some credit cards.” He handed it to her. She slid it open and pulled out the checkbook and smiled a little. He’d put the account in her maiden name.

“I’ll be glad to be Elizabeth Webber again,” she murmured. She put the contents of the envelope in her purse. “As soon as that divorce is final, I’m going back to it.”

“Has he signed the papers?” Jason asked, despite knowing the answer.

She grimaced and shook her head. “No. I chased him around the courthouse yesterday morning and I called his office again today, but he’s just not budging. I don’t know what he thinks is going to happen. What went wrong between us isn’t going to magically go away.” She walked away, hoping to avoid this conversation and disappeared into the kitchen.

After a moment, he followed her. “Do you still love him?” Jason asked bluntly.

Elizabeth said nothing for a moment, just continued to open and close the different cabinets, inspecting each carefully. “Yes and no,” she finally told him. “I love the man I thought he was and I don’t love the man he really is but to tell you the truth…I don’t know that I ever really loved him. I think that I wanted to, I think that I cared about him but in the end…” she shrugged. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Jason. Do you want me to say no…of course I don’t still love him? I only love you?”

“I want you tell me the truth,” Jason simply. “You want honesty from me…and I want it from you.”

Elizabeth studied him for a moment before taking a seat at the island. “Then yes, I do still love him. But he’s not the man I thought he was. I thought I was dating a Harvard lawyer who was this…great guy. Who cared about what I thought and what I felt and…” she bit her lip. “Faith told me once…that Ric was just you in a fancy suit and…she was right. I saw the things I had always loved about you in him and…I let myself fall for his act.”

She traced the smooth counter top with one of her fingernails. “And instead, I got a selfish, egotistical slightly psychotic man who found out what your weakness was–where you were vulnerable and preyed on it, used it to the best of his abilities. I love him, Jason, but mainly because I thought he was everything I loved about you…and nothing like what I hated about you. I was trying to replace you and I pretty much failed.”

“Yeah…I know what that’s like.” Jason sighed. “Courtney doesn’t like silences, so she always tries to fill them. That kind of reminded me of you at first–except you didn’t do it to fill anything. You just…you just rambled about pretty much anything you could think about. She had a lot of your…a lot of what I always liked about you–she was good at listening and she argued with me a lot when I tried to tell her what to do. But it’s not–it wasn’t right. Because even though you and she have a few things in common…she wasn’t you.”

Elizabeth reached into her purse and withdrew the set of keys he’d given her. There was a duplicate and she took it off the key ring. “With the way I seem to fall asleep at the drop of a hat…you might need this.” She slid it across the table and he covered her hand, grateful for this show of trust.

Sonny’s Penthouse

Courtney poured some water into the coffee pot and waited for it to start dripping. She needed to have Sonny alert and moving within at least an hour.

And if she concentrated on Sonny’s needs, she wouldn’t have to think about yesterday. God, Brian must think she was the most idiotic woman alive. It hadn’t even been Jason’s motorcycle the night before and she’d pulled away like her father was going to find them.

But so what if she’d pulled away? She hadn’t made any secret of the fact that she was still in love with Jason and just because she was attracted to Brian–okay, really really cared about him–and just because she was filing for divorce, that didn’t mean her feelings just got shut off. It wasn’t some light switch you could turn on and off.

She’d wanted Brian here with her today but he had a life in Haye’s Landing and damn it–she was going to start doing things for herself. She’d spent her whole life depending on other people and she refused to do it anymore. She was on her own woman.

Without a job or any other means of monetary support–but that was beyond the point. She could waitress again. She could find work. She was more than someone’s wife, someone’s girlfriend.

“Smells good,” her brother remarked, entering the room. He stepped up next to her and pulled out some pots and pans. “I thought I might make a big breakfast for us. A really good one.”

“Sonny, I don’t need–”

“I need to do it,” he interrupted her. “It’ll probably be the last time I can cook for a while–I need to do it.”

Courtney nodded and retreated to the table. “Are you ready for today?”

Sonny shrugged. “Ready to get sentenced to at least six years in a psychiatric hospital? Not really. But–it’s the right thing to do. I–I don’t know what’s going on in my head anymore, Courtney. I shot my wife in the head–and then I hit her. And between you and me, yesterday feels a lot worse than what I did in October.”

“It is in a way,” Courtney agreed. “But I’m glad you’re getting help, Sonny. And as soon as they start allowing visitors, I’ll come as often as I can.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Sonny replied. “I know you’re trying to rebuild your life and you shouldn’t have to worry about me.”

“You’re my brother,” she said softly. “I will always worry about you.”

“I’m–I’ve put Jason in charge of the business end of things and Carly’s–Carly’s got a bank account in her name that never goes below a certain number but everything else is yours,” he told her.

“Sonny…I don’t need anything from you,” Courtney protested.

He cracked open some eggs into a bowl. “It’s more for me than it is for you,” Sonny admitted. “I want to know that you’re okay. You don’t have to use it if you don’t want but the money’s there if you need it.”

“All right,” she agreed reluctantly. She cleared her throat. “Carly will probably be at the hearing today.”

“I’m hoping she is,” Sonny replied. “I need to apologize to her. I need for her to understand that I would rather cut off my arm than hurt her.”

“Then you need to let her go,” she said softly. “You need to let her stand on her own. She needs it.”

Sonny glanced over his shoulder at his sister. Though they were still separated by nearly fifteen years–she was far more mature than she should be at her age. Barely twenty-three and already facing the end of her second marriage. A year of living her life in danger. She’d seen things he’d never wanted for his family and he hoped to God she was really getting out of it now.

“If that’s what Carly wants…that’s what I’ll give her,” Sonny sighed.

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