I never thought I’d end up here
Never thought I’d be standing where I am
I guess I kinda thought it would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong now one more time
– Sick, Cycle Carousel, Lifehouse

Thursday, February 5, 2004

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Later, Jason would recognize that the general feeling of discomfort and wrongness felt different than the tension that had existed for the last ten months. But until Carly knocked on the door just past five, he didn’t associate the prickling in the back of his brain with anything serious.

After all, the threat was to Cady, and now that she’d been born, they reasoned Elizabeth herself was relatively safe with the usual cadre of double guards. So she had left that morning with Francis and Oliver, her morning guards, to sign some paperwork for the nursing program, see her grandmother and bring new photos of Cady to Monica. Her plans for the rest of the day were relatively loose, but he knew she was planning to grab coffee with Carly at some point before coming home to dinner with him and Cady.

And Cady was snug and safe in the penthouse, sleeping in the bassinet beside the desk where he looked through Spinelli’s newest reports on the casinos in Puerto Rico, the background checks for the guards working in the warehouse when the shipments were going wrong, and other security matters. There was nothing new from Ric, other than the Port Charles postmarked envelope from the day before, but Sonny had put all their men back into the search, confident that any business troubles were coming from Ric and Faith.

It was a day like many that had passed in the last two months, but later, Jason would blame himself for underestimating Ric Lansing.

Carly knocked and pushed open the door with a frown. “Jase, where’s Cody?” She stepped inside and glanced around.

Jason glanced up and returned her frown with one of her own. “He’s…with Elizabeth. She…” He pushed back from the desk and stood, instinctively checking on Cady before looking back at his best friend. “She was meeting you for coffee at Kelly’s.”

“Yeah.” Carly nodded. “And I waited at Kelly’s for a half hour. We were supposed to meet at four-thirty, after she had lunch with Audrey and Monica and finished her paperwork. I think there was even going to be a tour of the hospital or something. But…she never showed. I called her cell phone, but she didn’t answer. I called Nadine at the hospital—she left there around one-thirty.” She hesitated. “Jason…I would have called her guards, but…” she trailed off as Jason reached for his own phone.

Neither Cody nor Dominic answered their phones, and their shift ran from two until ten, at which point Marco and Ricky usually took over. The penthouse itself was guarded twenty-four hours a day. He remained calm because a hundred things could have happened that weren’t serious, but he could not think of one that would entail Elizabeth and her guards not showing up where they were supposed to while not answering their phones.

Next, he called Francis, who had responsibility for Elizabeth from six in the morning until two in the afternoon. Francis picked up on the first ring.

“Francis, do you and Oliver have Elizabeth?”

“Ah…no, Jase. We brought her to the Towers around two. She finished lunch. We met Cody and Dom in the parking garage. She was going to come upstairs, spend some time with Cady before meeting Carly.” Francis paused. “She should have been home hours ago.”

“I’ve been here all day. She never came in. I need…” Jason closed his eyes and forced himself to sound calmer than he felt. “I need you to get…everyone. Find her.” He set his phone on the desk, leaned against it and took a quick bracing breath.

“Jason…” Carly touched his shoulder. “You’ll find her. Maybe their car—”

“She came to the building three hours ago, Carly. She never made it up from the parking garage.” He straightened and reached for his phone, dialing Spinelli’s number.

“Spinelli, don’t talk, I don’t have time. I need you and Stan to get to the security room of the Towers. I want all the footage for the parking garage, the lobby and the penthouse elevators for the entire day, anything else you might think is relevant. Bring it to Sonny’s. And I need it immediately.” He hit end on that call and placed another one to the security room to let them know the techs were on their way.

“Carly, I need you to go to the kitchen, get the bottles Elizabeth prepared and then get whatever you think Cady need for a few hours. I need…” Focus. He just….he had to focus. “I need you to take her to your place, upstairs, with Morgan and Michael.”

“Right.” Carly nodded. “He took Elizabeth so he could draw your focus from Cady.”

“That’s probably the plan.” Jason nodded. “So I’m not letting it happen. I’m putting my daughter in the safest place in the building, and giving her care to you, because I know you’ll protect her.”

“Absolutely. Go to Sonny’s, Jason. I’ll pack Cady up and bring her over here. Rocco’s right outside, he won’t let anyone come near the penthouse until we get there.”

Jason nodded and numbly moved towards the door. He’d thought Elizabeth was safe now that she had delivered the baby—safe enough. They had all shifted their focus to protecting Cady.

And even though Elizabeth had had two guards at all times, had been in the building…she hadn’t been safe from the traitor in their organization—one of the men who had been protecting her for almost a year.

When he discovered who had taken her from her daughter, from him, there would be nowhere for the bastard to hide.

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

Emily glanced up from a chart to find Nadine staring into space, her phone in her hand. “Hey…” She cleared her throat, as the two of them were struggling to get along for Elizabeth’s sake. She liked the other woman, she did—but it was just difficult to see past everything that had happened. “You look…upset.”

“I…” Nadine hesitated. “Carly called me a little while ago. She and Elizabeth were supposed to meet for coffee.”

And Emily froze, because she somehow knew what was coming next. “She’s missing, isn’t she?”

“Yeah.” Nadine swallowed. “At first, I just…I thought their wires got crossed. You know, Liz thought she’d be at the hospital longer today, but she finished everything this morning, and you know, she had lunch, so she went home to be with the baby and Jason. Maybe she just forgot about Carly. But I’ve been calling her. And calling her. And calling her. There’s no answer.”

Accustomed to the ramblings by this point, Emily waited for her to finish. “M-Maybe she…forgot her phone somewhere.” They shared a look, because neither of them thought was a logical possibility. Elizabeth was married to her cell phone, for security reasons and for her daughter.

“I just…” Nadine closed her eyes. “I called Jason, finally. Elizabeth gave me his number after…October, after the kidnapping, because she wanted me to get in touch with him if I thought…anyone was going to come after me for helping. So I called him.” The pupils of the nurse’s eyes were so dilated with fear that the blue had been nearly eclipsed by the black. “And Jason told me that she’s been missing since two. He hung up because…he’s doing other things.”

Emily closed her eyes and took a step back. After October, and the kidnapping, she had put all thoughts of Courtney out of her head. Courtney had been normal then, they’d shared meals and coffee and the blonde seemed to be slowly recovering. Until Cady was born. And the anger had seeped back in.

Had Courtney been angry because she’d thought she’d never have to see the baby? See Elizabeth again after that day?

I’m not going to sit around and wallow anymore. I’m going to start being true to myself again.

Had Emily read her words wrong? What did Courtney mean by being true to herself? Had…she meant something more? Had…she lured Emily into discussing Elizabeth, latching on a way to expose Elizabeth to danger?

“Emily…” Nadine leaned forward. “Do…do you know something?”

“I don’t want to,” Emily admitted. “I…think Jason’s ex-girlfriend…might have been involved with the kidnapping in October. Because…she and I had had a conversation several weeks earlier. I…was telling her I wanted to fix things, that I wanted to apologize, but with her health, I couldn’t…just go see her. And…I told her…” Her breathing became more rapid. “Nadine, I told Courtney that Elizabeth didn’t always have guards in the hospital. That they were on the exits near Kelly’s office, but not with her. Nadine, I didn’t…think…”

“Why would you?” Nadine said softly. “She was Elizabeth’s friend once. She was your friend. She’s Sonny’s sister, Carly’s friend. Why would you ever suspect her of doing something that might put Elizabeth in danger? I was with Elizabeth some of the times Courtney was nasty. I just thought she was bitter.” She took a deep breath. “But, yeah, Em, it sounds like she might…have maybe told someone else. I mean, who else would know that information except people who worked here? And who was paying attention to Elizabeth?”

“Except me, because I…” Emily felt dizzy. She’d done it again. She’d exposed her best friend in the world to danger. The love of her brother’s life was missing and it was Emily’s fault. “I did it again. Oh, my God. Nadine, I did it again.”

Nadine came out from behind the desk and gently led Emily over to the waiting area. “Sit for a second. We just…need to figure this out. What did you do again?”

“I told Ric Lansing Elizabeth was pregnant. I mean…not straight out, but I was hinting it pretty heavily.” Emily grabbed Nadine’s forearm. “Not to be vindictive. I thought…he was the father, and she didn’t tell me the things he’d done. I just…I wanted to help her. I thought…I knew better. I wanted to help her, Nadine. And instead, she couldn’t hide it from him. She had to…” And then Emily closed her mouth. Because she’d almost let the secret out.

Nadine smiled wryly. “She had to accept Jason’s help. Because Jason claiming the baby seemed like good sense at the time, but Ric told everyone and blew the situation up.” She placed her opposite hand on Emily’s and squeezed it. “Em, Elizabeth glossed over a lot of details this summer, and I figured it wouldn’t do her any good that I knew, but I…did. Of course, I did. It’s okay. I even believe you honestly thought you were helping.”

“I…” Emily swallowed. “I never would have put her in danger. Not for a second. No matter how angry I was, I loved her. And then I told Courtney how to get to her in the hospital.”

“Jason and his partner need to know if she had anything to do with it,” Nadine pointed out. “It may have been a coincidence but if it wasn’t, then they need to know. They’re looking for a traitor, that much was clear from things I overheard this summer. I’ll tell your resident that you had to go home, that you were ill. You need to go help find Elizabeth.”

“You’re right.” Emily nodded. “And…I’m glad Elizabeth had you. That she still has you. She really needed you, you know, because I was a selfish bitch.” She rose to her feet and Nadine followed suit.

“You were,” Nadine acknowledged. “But you’re not now. Go before someone catches you not being sick.”

 

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

The situation didn’t get better once they had the security footage. Stan and Spinelli had worked together to find the events as fast as possible—so within twenty minutes, they knew how someone had grabbed Elizabeth.

Jason watched as Francis, Oliver and Elizabeth greeted Cody and Dominic. There was some small talk, and then Francis and Oliver walked away, heading to the room they kept for shift changes for their guards to check out.

He watched Cody and Dominic escort Elizabeth to the elevator from the parking garage to the lobby, where they then transferred her to the lobby to get the second, private elevator that connected to the penthouse levels.

On the elevator footage, he watched as Dominic pressed the button, and Cody asked Elizabeth something. She laughed, but there was no audio. And then she and Cody frowned when the elevator stopped, because it took longer to rise all fifteen floors to the penthouse level, and it had been less than a minute.

Jason watched Cody say something, and then start to follow Dominic out into the hallway. Elizabeth hesitated inside the elevator, glanced at the buttons and he wished she had followed her instinct, had pressed the button for the penthouse.

Instead, she followed her guards. Cody had been her guard since April, had been her guard initially the September she lived with him. Dominic had guarded her since June, when they had doubled her guards. Both of the men had been there with her through her doctor’s appointments, through the kidnapping attempt, and with her when she brought Cady home from the hospital.

He did not blame her for thinking that these men who had already protected her through attempted kidnappings wouldn’t betray her now. Cody had been with her that night at Kelly’s, had looked Jason in the eye and offered him the gun if Jason wanted to end him for not protecting her better. Dominic had had a head wound that day at the hospital.

“Put in the hallway footage,” Jason said tightly. “Was it both of them? Just one?”

Spinelli clicked something on his computer, for once realizing that this was not the time to speak. Sonny stood next to Jason, his hand over his mouth.

They watched Elizabeth step out of the elevator, the doors sliding closed. Jason recognized the hallway as the fourth floor, one they kept empty for security reasons. She was frowning, asking something. Maybe if there was a security issue. Cody stood in front of her, separating her from Dominic. And Jason saw the way the man was tensed, his hand braced.

And he knew then that Dominic was the traitor.

Dominic was a shade quicker than Cody. He drew his gun, with its attached silencer, and shot the man twice, a bullet hitting the wall just inches from Elizabeth’s head. She screamed, and he watched as she hesitated. Had probably thought of going to Cody. But then she turned and moved towards the stairwell. Dominic caught her before she got there, and then he placed a hand over her mouth.

He watched the woman he loved, his daughter’s mother, struggle and kick against a man Jason told her was safe. But Dominic was holding something over her mouth. Chloroform again, maybe.

And for five excruciating minutes, he watched as Elizabeth’s struggles lessened, and when she slumped in Dominic’s arms, he pushed open the stairwell.

“How…” Sonny cleared his throat. “How did they get her out of the building?”

“He carried her down the stairs,” Stan reported. “And to a waiting car just outside the building. We’re tracing it now, but the car was reported stolen a few hours ago.”

“Cody.” Jason swallowed. “Did you get to Cody? Was he…”

Spinelli shook his head. “He was still alive.” For once the colorful tech was subdued. “He was crawling towards the elevators, we think, but passed out. We called to Doc Lowenstein, who took him to the clinic. We haven’t heard anything else. He lost a lot of blood.”

“What do we know so far?” Sonny demanded. “The men know that Dominic is to be brought to us alive, as soon as possible. Do we know anything else?”

Stan nodded and looked to Benny who had joined them. “Dominic’s cousin is Freddy DiGarno in the warehouse. He’s one of the men who’s been on several of the shipments that have gone missing. Not all of them, but enough. We haven’t found any concrete money trails yet, but Spinelli thought he might have a lead on some numbered accounts.”

He wanted to rip apart the town, search every building, alley, street…but he knew that they had to be smart about this. Had to be systematic. He only had one chance to get this right. Elizabeth would not have a second chance.

“Any unusual movements around town?” Jason asked. “Men being places they’re not usually at. Warehouses in use that weren’t before?”

“We try to keep a handle on that in general,” Benny offered. “We haven’t heard anything, but with the circumstances, we’ve spread the word. Anyone seen with Dominic or Freddy who don’t report it back to us, will be dealt with. Swiftly.”

Sonny nodded. “Get Zacchara on the phone. Tell him his lawyer’s son has just kidnapped…” He hesitated. “Jason, I can’t just tell them…”

“Tell them they’ve just kidnapped my fiancée,” Jason said. “It’s close enough.” Girlfriends didn’t rate, and that wasn’t the right word for what Elizabeth was to him. She was everything, a concept someone as ruthless as Anthony Zacchara did not understand.

“And the other Families, make sure they’re aware of it. We…don’t appreciate the lack of cooperation we’ve had in this matter,” Sonny said. “And it’ll be duly noted the next time they want to use my precious shipping lanes.” He took a deep breath. “Okay. Keep the men on the streets, everyone. Nothing else goes through until Elizabeth is found. No shipments, no collections from the bookies. Vega’s scheduled to move something through the territory tomorrow, let him know that’s off.”

Benny nodded and moved aside to make his phone calls.

“If Cody can wake up, and tell us what was said in those last minutes, it might give us something.” Sonny rubbed his forehead. “Ah…Stan, Spinelli. Try…to figure out if you can trace the route of the car. They’ll have dumped it, but if you can… check any cameras on the streets that saw it. It turned left leaving the alley. Start there. Maybe there was a GPS or something.”

The techs nodded and they both started whispering furiously to each other, making notations on a sheet of paper.

“We…” Sonny approached Jason. “We’re doing everything we can think of Jase. I know you want to be out there…” He pressed hand to his chest. “I-I do, too. But right here, we get all the information as soon as we know it.”

“I know.” Jason nodded. “I know that this is where I need to be. Elizabeth would want me to sticking close to Cady until I had something concrete to follow. And I have nothing. She was gone for three hours before I ever knew she was in danger.” He closed his eyes. “I told her she could trust Dominic, Sonny. How could he guard her for all these months and turn on her? Was the head wound in October just a goddamn cover? To keep us from suspecting him if it didn’t work?”

“Could be.” Sonny nodded. “I just…can’t see how Ric thinks this is going to work. Does he think we’ll trade Cady for Elizabeth? Does he really think we’re not going to protect Cady as well as search for her mother?” He shook his head. “I don’t know, this is just…this is just not what I thought.”

“Maybe he thinks he can convince Elizabeth to come to him willingly,” Jason said. “To bring Cady to him. She’d give her life first, but maybe…maybe he doesn’t know that.” He hesitated. “She was…different last year, Sonny. When they were seeing each other. She was vulnerable, almost meek. It took her months to get herself back. Does he think that’s who she is? Someone can be manipulated?”

“Maybe.” Sonny rubbed his chin. “Maybe he thinks you manipulated her. After all, you were the one who approached him on the docks, you came up with the lie. And the letter you got…it wasn’t addressed to her. It was addressed to you.” He frowned and reached for doctored certificate. “He didn’t cross Elizabeth’s name off.”

Jason hesitated. “You think…he wants her, too.”

“It’s interesting,” Sonny said. “He didn’t want to be separated from his child, but…you know…” He furrowed his brow. “He didn’t make an attempt to break things off with Elizabeth. Even after it was clear she wasn’t going to be useful. He kept her around. Even with Faith on the side, making threats. And after you and I found out about him, he still tried to keep her with him.”

“He might think he’s in love with her,” Jason forced out. “Which is why the attempts haven’t been more forceful. He never put the baby or Elizabeth in serious danger.”

“Nope.” Sonny tapped his finger on the desk. “So that’s his endgame. He thinks the woman he met last year is the real Elizabeth Webber, a woman who was hurt, maybe a little more gullible than she would normally be. A little too trusting. She probably swallowed some lies.”

“She…told me,” Jason said slowly, feeling uncomfortable, “that she overlooked some of the outright lies because he told her he cared about her, that he made time for her…” He looked away. “All the things I didn’t.”

“Exactly. But you and I know that Elizabeth Webber, when she’s got her sense of self about her, she’s a fighter. She doesn’t take any bullshit. She doesn’t swallow lines. But he doesn’t know that. He thinks this woman who had his child will come to him because he turns on the charm.” Sonny nodded. “It’s starting to come together. He knew what went wrong between the two of you.”

“So he came after the business,” Jason said. Because Sonny was right. Everything made sense now. The patience Ric had showed—wanting Cady to be born, because then he could be rougher with Elizabeth in the kidnapping, but not too rough. It would have been quicker to use physical force to knock her out, but they’d used a difficult chemical. “He came after the business hoping it would lead me to treat Elizabeth like I did the last time. Never coming home, never talking to her.”

“He’s not working with all the facts, only what he knows.” Sonny hesitated. “It makes sense for Ric. He’s going to try to charm her into being with him, into bringing Cady to him, because hey, what could you do if she wants to take her daughter and be with the biological father?” He shrugged. “But that doesn’t explain Faith.”

“Maybe Faith doesn’t know the plan. Or the motivations,” Jason pointed out. “She might be getting frustrated.”

“If she gets frustrated, I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. It’s her resources that Ric’s using. If she just decides to cut her losses and go…” Sonny shrugged. “He’s on his own. But if she decides to raze the people involved to the ground…”

Max pushed the door open. “Boss, Emily Quartermaine is here and she says she might know something about Elizabeth.”

Emily barely waited for him to finish speaking before she rushed into the room. “I’m sorry, but Nadine told me she’s missing and I can’t live with myself if I don’t tell you what I think happened.”

“What is it, Em?” Jason asked. “Did you see something at the hospital?”

“No, but I think I know what happened in October, and maybe it’s related to this,” Emily said. “I…was having a conversation with someone about trying to apologize to Elizabeth. And we were just…talking about why I was angry, and how I didn’t think the guards would let me near her.” She swallowed. “So I said that I could probably do it at the hospital, because the guards are only the exits on the maternity floor. They don’t…follow her around.”

Jason stilled, because his sister looked so upset about this. He knew she wouldn’t have done it intentionally, but…he thought he might know who she had related this information to.

“Emily, who did you tell?” Sonny said, his voice so soft that Jason knew the other man was aware of what Emily would say before she could say it.

“Courtney,” Emily confessed. “And…that was the period when she seemed like she was getting over it. She seemed…to be moving on, but she told me something that maybe didn’t…mean what I thought I meant. She told me she wasn’t going to wallow it in it anymore. She was going to be true to herself. And then…she became angry again around the baby shower, but more so after Cady was born. And it’s worse than ever lately.” Her lip trembled, so she bit on it. “Jason, I am so sorry—”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Jason said. “It’s me. I set this in motion last year when I started dating Courtney, when I damn well knew I was still in love with Elizabeth. She was hurt, and vulnerable to Ric. None of this is your fault, Emily. It’s mine.” He looked to Sonny. “I…don’t know how it could have happened, how she could have given that information to anyone else, but it…”

“It fits,” Sonny said, with a deep sigh. He looked to Max. “Find my sister. Bring her to the penthouse whether she likes it or not.”

Is this a natural feeling or is it just me bleeding
All my thoughts and dreams in hope that you will be with me or
Is this a moment to remember or just a cold day in December, I wonder
If maybe, maybe I could be all you ever dreamed cause you are
– Anywhere But Here, SafetySuit

Tuesday, February 3, 2004

Kelly’s: Dining Room

“So, you told us you had something to announce.” Nadine dumped sugar in her coffee. “I’ve waited long enough, and I’m not waiting any longer.”

“Yes…well…” Elizabeth shifted in her seat and smiled at her grandmother. “I’ve been talking about it with Jason, and he…has told me a few times that I don’t need to go back to work if I don’t want to, and part of me…” She paused. “Part of me just wants to sit at home and watch her change.”

“You’ll go nuts in five days,” Emily predicted. “So, you’d go back to Kelly’s?”

“No.” Elizabeth cast her eyes around the diner that had been a second home to her since she’d moved to town, had once actually been her home. “No, I think…I’m ready to move on. It’s something I’ve been thinking about almost since I got pregnant, before Jason and I worked things out. I thought about getting my certification to teach, but I also…” She met her grandmother’s eyes. “I thought about going into the family business. Webbers usually end up as doctors, but…I decided to enroll in the nurse’s program.”

“Yes!” Nadine’s fist shot in the eye. “I was hoping that one would win.”

Emily wrinkled her nose. “You used to hate blood.” And then she tilted her head. “But, now that I think of it, that’s not been true for a while.”

“Yeah, well, I guess it’s something I grew out of.” Hard to be nervous at the sight of blood when she’d had to change Jason’s bandage once a day and he’d opened his wound more than once trying to recover to fast. “I’ve…had some experience in helping someone who was sick. I think I’d be good at it.”

“Well, I am certainly pleased,” Audrey said. “As long as you’re sure it’s what you want.”

“Well, like I said, Jason and I talked about it. I’m going to enroll now, but I’m too late for this starting class—which is fine with me since I want to stay home with Cady for at least six months, but Bobbie said I could start this summer, maybe. Or even the fall. I don’t have to commit right away, but I wanted to get the paperwork started.”

“It’ll be great working together,” Emily said, with a bright smile. She flashed another at Nadine—the two were still not all that friendly, but Elizabeth had hopes they’d warm up to one another.

Courtney approached them then, with her usual annoyed expression. Elizabeth thought she might be more annoyed that now she and Emily were friends again, the blonde’s casual friendship with Emily had faded. Another thing Courtney would probably claim Elizabeth had stolen from her.

“Are you guys done yet? I’d like a table who might leave me a decent tip.”

Elizabeth lifted her eyebrows at this, and opened her mouth to respond, but Audrey caught her first. “You know, Courtney, the service I have received the last few times I have been here has been appalling. I will be speaking to Bobbie about this.”

Courtney narrowed her eyes, slapped their check on the table and stalked away.

“Honestly.” Nadine rolled her eyes. “It’s been like…a year hasn’t it? I mean, is he that good in bed?” She flushed. “Sorry, Mrs. Hardy.” The older woman just smiled.

“She was doing better for a while,” Emily said hesitantly. “Or I thought she was.”

Later, as Nadine and Audrey had moved on to their cars, Emily followed Elizabeth to the SUV where Cody and Dominic were holding the door open

“I…think you should be careful around Courtney.”

Elizabeth blinked at her. “Why? She can’t be like this forever, you know. And I barely even see her most of the time. Em, she’s just bitter. I have Jason and she doesn’t. She thinks I stole him, that I stole Carly and Sonny, and probably you, but—”

“I know you didn’t.” Emily hesitated. “I don’t know. I just…it’s been ten months since she found out. She and Jason were only together a few months, barely that long in public. It’s just…not right for her still to be this angry. She seemed like she was coming to terms with it for a while, and now it’s like it’s happening all over again. I don’t want her to make trouble for you.”

“I appreciate it, but I just…” Elizabeth lifted her shoulders. “I just don’t know what trouble she could cause, honestly. Jason and I are better than we’ve ever been. We went through a lot of rough patches getting it right, but we have. I know he loves me, he knows I love him. We have our daughter. Life is practically perfect. I can’t think of anything Courtney could do to make that go away.”

“I guess you’re right.” Emily bit her lip. “I just…I worry. Maybe I’m overcompensating for what a bitch I was all of last year.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Elizabeth said softly. “You and I are going to be fine. We’re family, Emily. We always were, but even more so now.” She embraced her friend in a tight hug. “But thanks for looking out for me.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Jason pulled open the door at the knock, and frowned when he saw Carly. “Hey. Elizabeth is out—”

“Hey, do not assume I’m here to see the Muffin.” Carly jabbed at his chest. “I am your best friend. I merely tolerate her, you know. I can come see you.”

“Okay.” Jason waited. “Are you?”

She scowled. “No.” Then she lifted her chin and sniffed. “I’m here to see my goddaughter and niece.” She pushed past him and grinned when she saw the play mat set up on the floor, and Cady waving her hands at the dangling toys hanging over her. “Hey. You’re with Cady.”

“You know, we haven’t had the christening yet. She’s only your niece until then.” Jason shut the door.

“Semantics.” Carly waved her hand and leaned against the desk, watching Cady. “She’s trying to roll over.”

“Yeah. She’s been doing that for about a week.” They both watched the infant struggle to do so, and her face wrinkling up when she just couldn’t make it happen. “Elizabeth swears she’ll do it every day we set her up on this, but I keep telling her it’s probably going to be another month.”

“All mothers think their babies are the smartest.” Carly raised her eyebrows. “Morgan rolled over at two months, three weeks and five days. So, you know. He wins so far.”

Jason just shook his head. Trust Carly to make it a competition. “So…you came to see Cady.”

“I did.” Carly fidgeted. “And maybe…I came to see the Muffin. But I can ask you the same question that Sonny forbid me to ask either of you.”

Well, that couldn’t be anything good. He sighed and folded his arms across his chest. “Carly—”

“I just…I haven’t nagged you since you went to Puerto Rico, I figure I didn’t need to.” She shrugged and wandered over towards the sofa, her fingers trailing over the back. “After seeing you in the hospital room…”

“Carly.” Jason sighed. He hated when she brought this stuff up. Even though things were good now—even great—it didn’t meant he wanted to talk about it. So he just offered his stock answer that had worked in the past. “We’re…you know, working on it.”

Her head snapped up at that, and she narrowed her eyes. “What the hell does that mean?” she demanded.

“Carly, don’t use that tone—Cady can hear you—”

And then Jason found himself actually ducking the pillow she threw at him. “Carly—”

“What is wrong with the two of you?” she continued, almost hissing the words. “What’s left to work out? You bastards are ridiculous for each other, you’ve got this gorgeous baby, and you’re working on it? It’s been months—”

“Carly, I hate when you push.” Jason moved to pick Cady up and hold her while Carly delivered her tantrum.

“I don’t get it.” She shoved her hair out of her face, trying to keep her voice level. “I see you with Cady, I see you with Elizabeth, and it just looks right, so how can you keep messing this up?”

He grimaced. “We’re—”

And then he realized she was crying. He stopped talking.

“I just want you to be happy!” she sobbed. “I broke you, and I just want to make it better. This is all my fault, you know. I did this. I ruined you.”

“I…” He blinked and shook his head. “Carly—”

“If I hadn’t given you Michael, if I hadn’t made you take him while I ran off to find myself or ended up in the nuthouse, you wouldn’t have told Robin the truth, and she wouldn’t have been able to hurt you. And then she took him away, and I took him away all over again.” Her chest was heaving. “I gave you this little boy to love and then I made sure you could never keep him when I gave him the Quartermaines—”

“Carly,” Jason began, bracing his hand on Cady’s back. “It wasn’t—”

“You have been the best friend I’ve ever had and I’ve done nothing but take and take and take!” She jabbed a finger at him. “I cause you nothing but pain. I slept with your best friend. I called you a kidnapper. I gave your son to AJ, to Sonny. And now this is all my fault, because you can’t trust Elizabeth to stay, and it’s because I broke you.”

“You didn’t break me,” Jason said, feeling uncomfortable, because he could have avoided this scene if he’d just…told her the truth about his relationship with Elizabeth. He was beginning to see a pattern here—he would refuse to open up, and therefore the women in his life would draw their own conclusions.

“I did!” Carly nodded, swiping at her eyes. “Look what you’ve done for me, Jase! I have my beautiful boys, my beautiful home, I have Sonny. And you’re losing your chance at being a family because of me!”

“I…” He drew in a deep breath. “Carly, Elizabeth and I are going to be fine. I didn’t…want to get into this, but it’s going to be fine.”

Her breath shaky, Carly shook her head. “I thought that was true, but how can you still be working on it—”

“When I say that,’” Jason said slowly, hoping to keep her calm because so far Cady was holding her own, but he didn’t want her upset. “I mean that we’ve talked about a lot of things. She knows why I was pulling away, and I know why she wasn’t pushing.”

“O-Okay.” Carly hesitated. “But—”

“I’m not saying we’re not both still…” Jason looked away, discomforted. “Apprehensive about if we can really make it work on an everyday basis, but we’re both in this now. I told her I loved her, she said it back. We’ve talked about Cady, and how we want to raise her together. Carly, I’m sorry. I should have—I should have been clearer.”

Her mouth was pressed in a thin line, and she fisted a hand on her hip. “Why do you do this, Jase? Why can’t…” She huffed. “We’re supposed to be friends. But you never…tell me anything. You keep it all locked in, as if no one can help you. And then I go insane, because I just want to be there for you, and I apparently have to lose my damn mind for you to let me.”

“You’re right.” Jason nodded, accepting that as a truth. “And to make it up to you, I’ll tell you…just this once…that you were right. If I had listened to you months ago, if I had talked to you or to Sonny about what was going wrong, I could have made it easier for Elizabeth to talk to me. And we would have been in this place months ago.”

Carly blinked and held up a finger. “Um. You need to tell me that again. That part about me being right. And I’m going to need you to make a recording of that. Because Sonny isn’t going to believe me.”

“Carly—”

“And I want it on a T-shirt.”

“You’re pushing it now.”

Morgan Penthouse: Bedroom

Around two in the morning, Elizabeth rolled her and her hand found empty space. She pried her eyes open and found that Jason’s side of the bed was still warm, but empty nonetheless. He’d come in from the warehouse after she’d already fallen asleep for the night.

She sighed, but then heard rustling on the baby monitor. Cady was doing all right with sleeping through the night—Elizabeth fed her about midnight and then at five in the morning, but occasionally, she woke up anyway. Elizabeth slid out of bed and padded down the hall to the nursery where Jason was standing over Cady’s crib.

“Hey…is she awake?” Elizabeth rested her head against the doorframe.

“She was,” he replied softly. “But I just put her back in bed.” He stepped back from the crib and looked at her. “How was lunch?”

“Fine.” Elizabeth shrugged. “Emily and Nadine are still pretty frosty with one another, but I guess it’s too much to hope for that they would both get along right away. Nadine was around for too much of what happened.” She smiled. “Gram is over the moon about me and the nursing program.” She eyed him. “I told them I have some brief experience in caring for someone.”

“This is true.” She watched him adjust Cady’s blanket once more before joining her at the door. He gently pulled the nursery door closed, leaving them shrouded in the darkness of the hall. “And I managed to survive it, so I guess you’ll be fine.”

She laughed and punched him in the shoulder. “Cady was already with Carly when I got home. Was she good for you today? Did she roll over?”

“She was fine,” Jason said. “And no.” She could sense his hesitation. “Carly…had a weird meltdown today.”

“A meltdown?” Elizabeth blinked. She started for their bedroom and he followed her. “Is she okay?” She slid back under the comforter and waited for him to join her so she could curl up into his side. “What happened?”

“I don’t…I mean, yeah, I know what started it, but I guess I didn’t think…” She felt his chest rise rapidly as he drew in a deep breath. “She came over to nag you about…us, but decided I would do instead.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth rested her chin on his chest so she could peer into his eyes. “And you gave her some noncommittal answer that did nothing to tell her of any progress we’ve made since Cady was born, so therefore, she finally hit her limit.”

“Yeah.” His fingers trailed up down her back, sending tingles through the thin camisole she wore. “She…I didn’t know she thought…” He was quiet for a moment. “She thought she broke me.”

“Broke…you?” Elizabeth repeated. She sat up, confused. “Why? How?”

“Because…of Michael,” Jason said, his hand at her hip. “Because she gave him to me, which created the situation with Robin, then she went to the Quartermaines and she ended up with Sonny. I…I didn’t know she had that much guilt in her.”

“But still…” Elizabeth shook her head. “I mean, I get it, but you weren’t broken. You just…I hurt you so much, you know. And we didn’t trust each other. It had very little to do with Carly.”

“Well, not all of it,” Jason admitted. He cast his eyes away, and she knew how he hated to open up like this. “But maybe there’s an element of truth. It was harder for me to think you’d stay. Robin…said she could accept my job, but…”

“I remember you told me once that you never grew up in Robin’s eyes, but that you had in Sonny’s.” Elizabeth lowered herself back down next to him. “Well, I hope I’ve convinced you that all the reasons I didn’t stay before aren’t a factor now. I accept your job, I’m not trying to make things work with Lucky…and most important, I love you.” She sighed. “So what did you tell Carly?”

“I told her the truth. That you and I had talked. A lot. That we’re going to raise Cady, that we love each other. I thought…she deserved that after I made her cry.”

“Oh, good grief. Carly cried? I can’t even imagine that.”

“So I told her she was right—that if I had talked to you months ago, things would have been better. That cheered her up.”

Elizabeth giggled, appreciating the image of a dumbfounded Carly being told by Jason that she was right about a piece of advice. “I’m surprised she didn’t want that recorded.”

“I didn’t know she was holding that kind of guilt about…everything,” Jason confessed. “I wouldn’t…have let her think that if I knew. I…wish she and Sonny could have found each other any other way than trying to prove a point I didn’t need to know about the both of them, but…” he hesitated.

“But what?” Elizabeth pressed. She raised her head once more to find his eyes in the darkness.

“It hurt at first. I mean, it was painful and I didn’t want to see either of them. But I don’t know…by the time I left town, I had mostly let go of it.” His fingers slid through her hair. “I didn’t see it then, but I was already in love with you, and the rest of it didn’t matter anymore.”

Elizabeth grinned and stretched up to kiss him. “By the way,” she murmured. “Do you know what today is?”

“February 4,” he mumbled against her lips. Then he stopped and pulled away from her a bit. “Two months.”

“To the day.” She grinned. “And you know what Kelly said when I saw her two weeks ago.” She slid her hand down his chest and beneath the waist of his sweat pants. “So what do you say we finally celebrate everything good in our lives?”

Wednesday, February 4, 2004

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Elizabeth wrinkled her nose as she stepped off the bottom stair with Cady in her hands. “They’re going to give her more needles today, Jason. I can’t stand it—”

“They’re for her own good,” Jason said simply. He lifted the baby carrier onto the desk. “And you know she won’t remember it. If you don’t believe me, you can ask Michael when he comes home from school.”

She huffed and bounced Cady a little in her arms. “Tell Daddy to stop mocking me.”

“She can’t roll over yet, so I doubt she’s telling me anything.”

Elizabeth sniffed. “Fine then.” She handed their daughter to him and then watched as he effortlessly slid her into the straps and then attached them. “How do you always do that without her crying? It’s because you’re taller and I’m a midget, isn’t? Somehow that’s how this works out.”

Jason just grinned and shook his head. “Where’s the diaper bag?”

“By the sofa.” Elizabeth reached inside her tote bag to make sure her first year baby journal was inside and the page on the two month doctor’s checkup was bookmarked. She didn’t want to miss a thing. “You cleared the entire day, didn’t you?”

“Unless there’s an emergency.” She glanced over to find him returning, Cady’s cotton candy pink diaper bag over his shoulder. Somehow, he made that work. “Why? Are we doing something later?”

“Yep. I’m going to let Carly spoil Cady for a few hours tonight.” Elizabeth put her journal away and set her purse down. “And then, you, Jason Morgan, are going to take me out.”

He hesitated, but couldn’t find the flaw in her argument—she was allowed to leave the penthouse with just him if they didn’t have Cady. With the baby, the guards went as well. “Okay. Did…” He shifted uncomfortably. “What, like the Grille?”

She burst into laughter, and shook her head. “God, no. You’d gnaw off your own foot in about five minutes. I’ll let Sonny and Carly guilt you into those dinners.” She poked him in the chest. “We’re having Eli’s here at the penthouse—without a baby to watch. And then, you’re taking me for a ride on the cliff road.”

“It’s amazing how often you manage to bring the bike back into it.”

There was a knock on the door, and Francis pushed it open. “Hey. I just wanted to bring up the mail. It’s been swept and everything.” He held out a small stack of envelopes. Elizabeth took it and started to go through with it. Credit card offers, mostly—a utility bill. She wrinkled her nose at her own credit card bill. She couldn’t wait to go back to work and have money of her own.

“Huh.” She picked out the manila envelope at the bottom of the table. “This…it’s from Lucky.”

Jason frowned. “He writes you a lot?”

“No…” She set the other envelopes on the desk, and turned it over in her hands. “We just had a web chat yesterday so he, Nikolas and Lulu could see Cady. He didn’t say anything…” Elizabeth peered at the handwriting. “It’s not his writing.”

Jason took the envelope from her, and examined it for himself. In her car seat, Cady fussed a little. “Do…you want to open it?”

“I mean…we might as well.” She watched him pull out two pieces of paper. “What is it?” she asked softly, when she saw the way he tensed. “Jason, what is it?”

He looked at the second sheet of paper, and his face darkened. Without a word, he handed her both papers. With shaking hands, she read the first one.

Nice try, Morgan, but blood is always thicker. Tell my daughter Daddy’s coming for her soon.

Her mind blanked, and she swayed. Jason reached out, and steadied her. “Elizabeth…”

She shook her head and tossed the note on the table, revealing the second part of the threat. It was Cady’s birth certificate which declared that at 7:05 PM on December 3, 2003, Cadence Audrey Caroline Morgan had been born to Elizabeth Webber and Jason Morgan. Cady and Jason’s names had lines drawn through them, and next to those spaces, someone had scrawled in replacements. Adela Grace Lansing and Richard Lansing.

“Jason….” She raised her eyes to him. “What…what does this mean? Is it…just a taunt? A direct threat? I don’t understand. It’s not as though he can show up to file for custody.” Her blood froze. “Jason…”

Jason exhaled slowly. “It’s not…out of the realm of possibility,” he admitted. “Ric…was never convicted of a crime. And right now, no one in law enforcement is looking for him. If he were to…file, it would be too high profile to do anything to him. Suspicion would be immediate.”

“No, no.” The birth certificate slipped from her numb fingers. “Jason…”

“Hey…” Jason reached out and placed his hands on her shoulders. “First of all, I don’t…think that’s his plan. It’s too straightforward. Second, blood tests can be faked. Even court-ordered ones. And if that didn’t work, Elizabeth, I would put you and Cady on a plane to the nearest country without extradition laws.”

“Without you?” she demanded. “We won’t go without you.”

He hesitated. “We’ll deal with it if we have to, but I really don’t think we have to worry—”

“No.” Elizabeth shook her head. “Promise me you won’t send us away when we wouldn’t be able to come back without you.” She watched him dip his head and take a deep breath. “Jason. We promised each other we’d stay. Remember? So that means you can’t—” She was abruptly cut off when he drew to him and kissed her. Her lips were trembling, and she was sure he could taste the fear running through her at that moment, but when he pulled back, she felt a little better. “Jason.”

“I don’t know how I would make it work with Sonny,” he said after a moment, “but you’re right. You and Cady are my family. Where you go, I go. But I still don’t think he’ll go for that. It’s more likely he just wants us to know that he never believed any differently. That he’s always known I’m not the biological father.” He rested his forehead against her. “Sonny and I thought that might be the case, but now we know it’s true. So it means he has an endgame.”

“Then what is it?” she whispered. She looked at their daughter, still fussing in her car seat. “What is he planning?”

She could see the bewilderment in his eyes. “We…just…we don’t know.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes. “Cady’s going to be late for her appointment, and she needs her shots. So do you want me to go with the guards while—”

“No,” Jason said firmly. “We’ll go to her appointment. I’ll give these to Francis, and he’ll deliver them. Sonny and I can take care of it when we get back. I don’t want you taking the baby out without me.”

She nodded. “Okay. You’ve kept us safe so far, Jason, so I can’t doubt you.” She looked again at Cady who chose that moment to open her tiny mouth and wail at the injustice of being in the seat and not being able to do anything else. “It’s just…we have so much to lose…and I’m terrified.”

And I would let you know
You cannot walk away
Cause there are things to say
And I know that you might
Not see this tonight
But there are things to say
We have life to make
– Things to Say, SafetySuit

Friday, January 9, 2004

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

“Every time I see her,” Emily said, smiling even as she changed Cady’s diaper, “her face is changing. She looks so much like you.” She smiled at her friend, relieved to be in the same room as Elizabeth and Nadine.

“Thank you!” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “I asked Jason if he thought she had my eyes and you know what he said to me?”

“She has her own eyes?” Emily suggested, and three of them laughed, because even Nadine knew how literal Jason could be by this point. “Yeah, he’s annoying like that.” She looked down at the eyes in question and smiled. “I was hoping she might have Jason’s eye color, but I think they’re going to be more like yours, Elizabeth.” She handed over the infant.

Elizabeth hesitated and frowned at her. “Why do you think that?”

“Yeah, I read that baby’s eye colors change constantly over their first year.” Nadine leaned over to peer at them. “They’re like…grayish.”

Elizabeth sniffed. “They’re slate-blue,” she said, and Emily rolled her eyes. Trust Elizabeth to be picky over color.

“I say that,” Emily said, “because I don’t know much about genetics, but Jason’s eyes are really light, so if they were going to be that color, they would be already. Eyes change color because of pigment, and it goes without saying that light blue eyes don’t need a lot of pigment.”

“Fair point,” Nadine nodded.

Emily frowned when Elizabeth looked uncomfortable with the turn in conversation. She thought it would be great if Cady had her father’s eyes, because they were Lila’s eyes, but Elizabeth’s were nice, too. At least she knew they were going to be blue…

And then looked at Cady again. At her eyes. Which had been light blue when she’d been born, and now they were darkening.

She cleared her throat. “So, how is it being new parents? Are you and Jason…adjusting well?” When Elizabeth hesitated, Emily sighed, because even though they’d been trying, she knew Elizabeth was apprehensive about sharing anything personal with her. Not that Emily could blame her, since she’d royally screwed up the last time her friend had confided in her. But she had worked through her anger—had even had a long web chat with Lucky to clear the air.

“You don’t have to answer that.” Emily forced a smile on her face. “How long before she rolls over? Or sits up?”

“I…” Elizabeth wrinkled her nose and leaned over to place Cady in her bouncing seat on top of the coffee table. She flicked it on, and the baby began to lightly bounce. “No, it’s okay, Em. If we’re going to be friends again, really friends, we have to start somewhere.”

“Great, because I have been dying to ask.” Nadine popped a handful of popcorn in her mouth. “I’ve been so busy with my sister and then Christmas at the hospital that I haven’t been able to bug you. Last I heard, you kicked Jason out of the delivery room.”

“Yeah, I heard about that through the hospital grapevine, but you know, you’re not the only mom to do that, according to Kelly.” Emily shrugged.”

“Well, to be honest, Em…Jason and I had a lot of rough patches,” Elizabeth said slowly. “When this started, it was just…it was a mess. I mean…” She shifted and cast her eyes away. “You know we hurt a lot of people with how it started.”

“Because of me,” Emily said. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it.”

“I was hoping we wouldn’t,” Nadine murmured and Emily shot her a look. “What? Hey, I’m glad you guys are okay now, which means hopefully you’ll stop shooting me dirty looks in the hallway, but I’m a straight shooter. You were a turd.”

“Don’t…” Elizabeth sighed. “Don’t start. Emily, Nadine has been there for me when you just…wouldn’t be. So she’s annoyed on my behalf, because she was also my OB nurse, and so she knows about my blood pressure problems, which was…part of the reason I moved in with Jason in the first place.” She cast her eyes to Nadine, and Emily nodded. Smack her down, too. “And Nadine, I appreciate it, but Emily and I are doing better.”

“Fair enough.” Nadine sipped her soda.

“Understood,” Emily said.

“Now…like I said, I didn’t move in with Jason for romantic reasons. They were purely practical. He was concerned…about my health. And….we were still tiptoeing around each other. We made things…more difficult than they had to be. So, I made him talk to me about some of the things that went wrong. We started to clear the air. And then…” Her face flushed and she looked away. “We…started to…get closer.”

Emily grimaced. “Got it. Sexy sexy good times with my brother. You can save those details for Nadine.”

“Because how else shall I live vicariously through her?” Nadine sighed, dreamily. “They’re good details, though, Em. You might want to try sitting through them. There’s a great pool table story—”

“Anyway.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “We weren’t talking about what was next. How we were going to deal with Cady…he was always so uncomfortable when we talked about her. I just…thought he might not love her as much as he could because of how it started.”

Emily opened her mouth, because really what nonsense, and then she closed it. Because she got it. She understood it all. Cady’s eyes were darkening, would probably end up being brown by the end of the year. And Elizabeth had quit her job and moved in with Jason for safety reasons.

And then someone had tried to kidnap her.

She squared her shoulders. “Well, I guess you’ve worked it out mostly, then.”

“It was touch and go for a while, and I think Jason thought I was going to leave him after she was born. So he took a trip to Puerto Rico right before she was due.” Elizabeth changed the speed on the seat from fast to slow. “I knew he had to go, that it had to be Sonny or Jason, and Carly would have cut Sonny if he’d disappeared five seconds after Morgan was born when he’d been gone for weeks last summer.”

“Still,” Emily said, “it must have hurt for you to think he would miss his daughter’s birth.”

“And that’s why I threw him out of the delivery room. But I guess the way I did it, or whatever Carly babbled at him afterwards, did the trick. We’re not perfect yet,” Elizabeth added. “But it’s been great this last month. You know what a wonderful father he was to Michael, Em.”

“I do. And any thoughts Jason might have had about how Cady got here, it’s clear he doesn’t see her that way now.” Emily tucked her hair behind her ears. “Right?”

“Yes,” Elizabeth confirmed. “I mean…there’s still some things up in the air. We both still have trust issues, but we’re making a conscious effort to talk about them now, and not just assume.” This last past she addressed to Nadine, and Emily tried not to feel left out as it was clear that she was receiving the glossed over version and Nadine had been privy to the details.

She could not be angry that Elizabeth had found someone she was close to, someone to take on the role of best friend and confidant. As Jason’s sister and Elizabeth’s best friend, it should have been her. And it was her own fault it hadn’t been.

“Well, hello, it’s all I’ve been saying since day one.” Nadine looked to Emily. “Months, I tell you. Months, I spent telling her just to talk to him. I almost talked to him myself.”

“Ha, that I would have liked to see.” Emily smiled, and reminded herself again, she had no one to blame but herself for being on the outside looking in. She looked at Elizabeth. “So you’re going to be okay?”

“All things considered…” Elizabeth’s mouth curved into a smile as she looked at her daughter. “I’m going to be great.”

The door opened then, and Jason entered. He stopped, seeing the living room full of women. “Ah…” He cleared his throat. “I can come back.”

Elizabeth laughed and rolled her eyes. “Like you don’t live here. Nadine has a shift in a half hour anyway, and it’s time for Cady to go down for a nap.” She unstrapped her daughter from the seat. She and Nadine said their goodbyes, and with minutes, Emily was alone with her brother.

Elizabeth had forgiven her much more easily than her brother, and with what Emily had realized during this visit, she wasn’t sure why either of them were even speaking to her. It was clear that Cady was not Jason’s biological daughter, which meant she had set Ric on Elizabeth all those months ago, when she’d been trying to prove something to herself. She had put Elizabeth and her child in danger, and Jason had spent months cleaning up the mess.

Sure, it had worked out in some ways. Even she could see that Jason was happier with Elizabeth than he’d been with Courtney—she couldn’t understand why she’d ever felt differently. And Elizabeth was certainly happier. Cady couldn’t do better for a father.

But at the end of the day, Emily had been the reason for it. Emily was the reason her best friend and her child were probably still in danger.

She hesitated and looked at Jason. “You know that I love you, right?”

Jason sighed and lowered himself onto the sofa. “Yeah. I know that.”

“And…I know what I did…all the things I did, but especially telling Ric Elizabeth was pregnant was wrong. I mean, I only hinted to him, but I made it clear. And I know…that made everything so much more difficult.”

Even if she’d only doubted before, the way Jason’s eyes snapped to hers told her everything she needed to know. And she was heartbroken because it was clear that it was probably something Elizabeth would have told her, if they’d been friends.

“Emily—”

“Because you and Elizabeth didn’t get to handle this the way you wanted to,” Emily cut in swiftly. “I mean, you guys probably had a plan how to break the news, and I just…ruined it. And then I treated Liz like crap for weeks. I didn’t even think about what it might be doing to her health until you…until that day at Kelly’s. And I felt so stupid, because I’m a med student. I should have. I made everything worse.”

“It’s over now, Emily.” Jason shrugged. “It was up to Elizabeth to forgive you—”

“And for some reason, she has, but I know…you haven’t.” Jason didn’t look at her, and she sighed. “It’s okay. You shouldn’t. I know now how ridiculous I was, how stupid I was to assume I knew better than you what you needed. I look at you now, with Elizabeth and with Cady, and I see the way it should have been ages ago. Would have been if I’d been a better friend and stopped pressuring her to fix Lucky and follow her heart. So, you have my promise now, Jason. I have learned my lesson. From now on, you have my unwavering support.”

She stood and leaned over to kiss his cheek. “You are my brother, and I just want you to be happy. And Elizabeth is my oldest friend, so that’s what I want for her. Lucky for me, I don’t have to worry anymore, because you going to make each other happy.” She drew on her jacket and wrapped her scarf around her. “Let Liz know I had to go—”

Jason got to his feet and wrapped her in a tight hug. “I love you, too, Em.” He drew back and with a half-smile that she knew meant she was forgiven. “Just…don’t do it again.”

Morgan Penthouse: Nursery

Elizabeth was standing over Cady’s crib when she felt Jason standing in the doorway. She glanced at him. “Did you and Em talk? I tried not to make it obvious.”

“I figured when Nadine looked surprised to learn she was leaving.” But he didn’t look annoyed, only…contemplative. He joined her, and they watched their daughter sleep.

“Emily knows.”

Elizabeth’s hand froze as she leaned down to stroke Cady’s back. She raised her eyes to Jason. “W-What?”

“I don’t…know how she guessed it,” Jason continued. “But the way she was talking…about having created this mess. If she believed the lie, she wouldn’t have been so forceful about it. She kept saying she’d made it worse.”

She sighed. “I thought she might have suspected. Nadine and I haven’t really had a chance to get together since she came back from New York, with Cady and Christmas, so she asked me how you and I were doing. She’d heard the rumors about the delivery room.” She looked at him, her heart aching. “I am so sorry I did that to you. For one thing, you missed her being born. And secondly, I know if too many people talked, it might have created problems.”

“I don’t…I don’t care about any of that.” Jason shook his head. “You…did what you had to do get through that moment, and you and I were…not talking. We were both protecting ourselves.”

Still. “Anyway,” Elizabeth continued. “I tried to give Em the cliff notes version on why that happened, how us not talking snowballed until I kicked you out. But while Nadine could swallow a story about me not thinking you were interested in your own child, Emily actually knows us. Which means she knows how you felt about Michael, and she also knows that I know it, too. So…she just looked at me.”

“I don’t think she’ll say anything,” he said after a moment. “Because she was there when you were almost kidnapped. And it looks like you guys cleared the air as to why you were fighting in the first place. Honestly…I don’t think Emily would have said anything all summer, even when you weren’t talking. There’d be no point.”

“I don’t think she’ll say anything, either.” Elizabeth rested her head against his shoulder. “I shouldn’t stand in here while she’s sleeping. I know it might wake her up.”

“And yet you do it all the time,” he said, voice teasing.

“I just…don’t like her being out of my sight,” she sighed. “I can see for myself that she’s safe.”

He wrapped an arm around her waist and tucked her into her side. “I know you’re still scared.”

“But it’s so much worse now, Jason,” she confessed. “Before, I carried her inside of me. I could protect her. And now, she’s her own person. If they got past me—”

“They’re not going to—”

“But they could. I’m not saying it wouldn’t take a catastrophe. I know if they got to me, it’s because they’ve gone around you and Sonny…which is no minor feat…” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “But I find myself and looking at her and imagining the worst case scenarios. I just want to protect her.”

“I know. We’re doing everything we can—”

“What is he waiting for?” The words burst out of her in a harsh whisper, and Jason led her away from the crib and into the hallway. She kept herself together until they were in their bedroom and then she just couldn’t. “Why doesn’t he just come for her? Why doesn’t he go after you? Or Sonny? What is the point of all this, Jason? What is he doing? It’s been almost a year!”

He dipped his head and drew in a deep breath. “I know. I want him to come at me, so I can end this, and it makes Sonny nervous that Ric’s just…circling. He didn’t show this level of patience last year.” He drew her close and she pressed her face into the warmth and comfort of his shirt. “We think he just can’t get to you. You rarely leave the penthouse, especially not since Cady was born. I’m always with you when you do. When you do go out without me, you take two guards for you and one for Cady.”

She huffed. “So you’ve done such a good job of protecting us that we’ve drawn it out this long.” She tilted her head back and smiled wryly at him. “It sounds insane. But…no, I guess you’re right. I don’t go anywhere alone, which I used to find restricting, but after I woke up in the hospital, Nadine across the hall from me recuperating from a bruised back…I don’t care if I ever leave this penthouse if it means our daughter is safe.”

“He’s been more patient than I would have thought possible.” His hand smoothed up and down her back. “Especially working with Faith Roscoe. She’s more hotheaded than that, or we thought so. But I’m getting tired of it, too, Elizabeth. I don’t want you to live like this. I don’t want Cady’s first months to be like this. I mean, it’s winter now and it’s not like she’d be out much anyway.”

“But I want to take her for walks in the spring,” Elizabeth murmured. “I want us to have a normal life. Well…as normal as it can get anyway. With just one guard.”

“I know.”

She drew back again, letting some space fill in between their bodies. “I’m not blaming you for not finding him. You know that, right?”

He rubbed the edge of his eyebrow. “I’m blaming me for letting him walk away that day on the docks. For not realizing Sonny would eventually overlook the brother thing. I had my hands wrapped around his neck…” He trailed off. “I shouldn’t…talk like that in front of you.”

“Oh…for…” Elizabeth sighed and rolled her eyes. “Jason, do you honestly think I’m unaware of what you do for a living? Or do you prefer to think I am?”

“I…” He hesitated. “I don’t know the answer to that.”

She pulled away from him and sat on the edge of the bed. “I mean, it’s not like I want specifics or…” She waved her hand. “Itineraries of your daily activities, but please give me some credit.”

Jason just stood in front of her, blinking at her. Well, maybe they did need to have this conversation. “You remember when you said you didn’t want my face to change?”

He exhaled slowly, and looked away but offered a short nod.

“Well, all summer, you and Sonny have hunted down Ric and Faith. You toss around words like deal with and handle, but Carly and I both know what they mean. And the reasons I walked away from you that October?” She shrugged. “Those were about trust. About the way you treated me. Made me feel like I didn’t matter. Not because of your job.”

“Elizabeth—”

“Maybe you would prefer it if I pretended I didn’t know better.” Elizabeth tilted her head to the side. “Would it make you feel better if I thought you imported coffee beans?”

He sat next to her on the bed, and shook his head. “No. But that’s not same thing as wanting you to know what I am.”

“What you are?” she echoed. “Jason, in a perfect mafia world, you wouldn’t have to…” She shrugged. “Enforce anything. You and Sonny could just break all the gaming and smuggling laws you want. Or whatever laws get broke when you do what you do. I’ve never really thought about it, honestly.”

“A perfect mafia world?” And she was surprised to see a smile ghost across his lips. “Elizabeth.”

“Jason, I know why Sonny got in this business. He didn’t have power growing up, so he went out and took it. You…didn’t have a future. Direction. Nothing else really to live for. So Sonny gave you something. He gave you a code, maybe. Or…” She reached into his lap and took his hand in hers. “It’s not as if either of you sat down and decided to enjoy a life of violence. It’s a byproduct of the other stuff, and it’s not something either of you relish.”

“And that makes it okay for you?” Jason asked. “How—”

“It doesn’t need to be okay for me. I don’t have to go out and do what you do.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. “Jason, at the end of the day, I love you. And I’ll tell you that as often as you need to hear it until you believe that I see who you are. The good, the bad. I know your virtues and I know your flaws. And the only thing that I don’t like…” He raised his head at that and met hers. “I don’t like that sometimes you think it’s more important for the other person to be happy than it is for you. You don’t reach out for what you want enough.”

“It’s not always there for me to have,” he said quietly. “So reaching out for nothing…”

“But if you don’t reach out, it won’t be there.” She sighed. “Jason, I was making plans to move out while you were in Puerto Rico. I hadn’t spoken to Sonny, but I thought…there must be another apartment in this building that we could make as secure as the penthouse. Because you just…wouldn’t look me in the eye and tell me that you were unsure of your role in my daughter’s life. Instead, you spent months avoiding the question, to the point that I thought you couldn’t love her because her Ric’s blood ran through her veins.”

“I never cared about that.” He shook his head. “But…I knew you were thinking it. Even before you said it that day in the nursery. Carly warned me for months. Sonny did, too. But I just didn’t…I don’t know. I would tell myself to stop it, to go to your appointments and be involved, but I just couldn’t…do it.”

“I don’t want you to think this was all your fault, though.” Elizabeth nudged his side. “Because it’s not like I spoke up either. We’d spent months avoiding each other’s existence, trying to pretend we could move on. I hated every minute you were with Courtney, but I kept telling myself maybe she gave you what you needed. Maybe she could make you happier than I could, and I really thought….that would be enough for me.”

“With Courtney…it was just…” He took a deep breath and looked at her. “I cared about her. I won’t lie and say I didn’t. But I didn’t at first. And never the way she needed me to. At first, it was just…you were gone, and she was there. I kept…hearing your words about being Sonny’s enforcer and that was all…I wanted to make that go away…”

“I am so sorry I said those things to you,” she murmured. “I…lash out when I’m angry, but I shouldn’t have done that. And I shouldn’t have frozen you out when you came to see me the next day.”

“Knowing what I know now…and even what I knew then, I knew how upset you were. But it just…kept spiraling out of control. Because Alcazar was still out there, and Sonny was still…insisting I guard Courtney, and I didn’t want to rock the boat with him, because he was still in difficult place. And then you went off with Lucky.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Yeah. It was just to get my mind off things. I thought I’d head out of town for a while, figure things out. Get my head clear, get away and maybe I’d be less upset when I came home.” Elizabeth sighed. “But when I came back…you were married to Brenda. And I just…I felt like I didn’t even know you anymore. And I was…almost sure something was happening with Courtney. So…I was angry. And then…” She looked away, looked at their joined hands. “Ric was there.”

“Because of me,” he said tightly, but she shook her head.

“He approached me because of you, but I was lonely. A-and I wasn’t feeling particularly good about myself. You know…maybe if Courtney had just…been a brunette.” She huffed. “Another dumb blonde. Story of my life.”

He frowned, shaking his head. “What?”

“All my life, guys went for Sarah first,” Elizabeth clarified. “Even when I moved to town, Lucky wanted Sarah. He got over her, and we connected. But you know, in the end…he slept with her. And then you and Courtney, and Ric and Faith.” She grimaced. “Why can’t there be more redheads? Anyway. So, there I was, in my eyes, left for another blonde, feeling like I could never quite measure up, and Ric…had apparently done some really good research.” She rolled her eyes, feeling stupid all over again.

“Elizabeth, he was a con artist,” Jason told her. “He snowed Carly. He snowed Hector Ruiz and Daniel Vega, and without going into details, to say that they’re not exactly gullible would be an understatement. It was my fault Ric went after you, and it was my fault you were in a position to feel vulnerable.”

“Jason, you do not get take responsibility for everything. Let me own up to my own mistakes. There were signs Ric wasn’t telling the truth. I would catch him in lies. He could never explain why he had to work for Sonny. But…h-he was charming. And he made time for me. And he told me how much he cared about me. He gave me all the words that I wanted from you and never got. But that’s my fault. For thinking that words matter more than actions.” She shook her head. “Anyway. None of this is really the point. What I was trying to say before we got…off on the topic of…well…I was trying to say that you don’t reach out for what you want, but I’m afraid to rock the boat.”

“So…when you were talking about how we were only living in the moment,” Jason said, slowly, “you didn’t see it…us…as temporary. But that we were just…ignoring the next step.”

“Yeah. I mean, we were just…working things out. Jason, we’ve barely dated. In fact…” She laughed slightly. “We dated more before we were involved, so I guess if we count all those rides and the pool playing, and the hot chocolate on the docks…anyway, we skipped all the stuff in between. We’d barely been together and I was living with you. I was afraid that if we talked about Cady in anything other than an abstract concept that needed to be protected from Ric, you would…look at me like I was insane for suggesting that five minutes after we’re together, I’d like you to help raise my daughter. Be her father.”

“I…wanted her to be mine,” Jason admitted. “And maybe that was part of the problem. I didn’t care that Ric was her biological father. I still don’t. He and Sonny share the same blood, and it doesn’t bother me. I just…” He paused. “I would think about her, and know that it was my fault she wasn’t. That if I had just…shown you how much I loved you. If I had told you the truth, or…just shipped Zander off to a damn safe house with a guard…that she could have been mine. And maybe that bothered me more than I’d like.”

“Well, that’s natural.” When he just sighed, she nudged him again with her shoulder. “It is. I don’t regret having her. I love her exactly as she is, but I’d be a liar if I didn’t wish she were yours. I know you don’t like to do that, the what-ifs, but I can’t stop sometimes. So, Jason, she’s not your blood. But you know how it is with Sonny and Carly? Blood doesn’t make a family. They’re your family, it’s why Carly decided to…” She raised her eyebrows. “I don’t know…look after me. Sometimes, you get to choose your family. And I want to choose mine. I want to choose you for me and for Cady.”

“And I want that,” Jason said, his voice low but fervent. “I want to choose you and Cady to be my family. I love you, Elizabeth. I can’t…take back all those times I should have said it and didn’t, but I can say it from now on.”

“I love you, too.” She leaned forward and kissed him with all the love and passion inside her, wrapping her arms around his neck. He deepened the kiss, nipping at her lower lip so she parted them.

He pressed her back into the mattress and she started to lose herself in the moment, before remembering that, unfortunately…she’d given birth the month before. “Jason,” she murmured as his lips trailed down her throat. “As much as I’d like to see this happen…”

His breath was hot on her neck, and he drew back slightly. “You can’t, though.”

“Nope.” She grinned, dancing her fingers up his chest. “At least two more weeks. I go back and see Kelly, then. Maybe she’ll give me the green light.”

He dropped his head against her chest, and she giggled a little, knowing exactly how he felt. She wanted to be close to him, to feel him inside her, knowing that for the first time in years, they had no secrets. No fears. They had done what seemed all those months ago to be impossible…they’d been honest and now they couldn’t even celebrate.

“I should go talk to Sonny.” He rose to his feet, and drew her up with him. “Because you’re right. We need to figure out what Ric’s plan is. I don’t want to put our lives on hold anymore.” He kissed her again, and she almost forgot her doctor’s medical advice.

“I love you,” she murmured against his lips. “And I love that I can say that to you. I never thought we’d get back here. I thought we’d missed our chance.”

Cady’s cry came over the monitor and broke their kiss. She sighed and wiggled her shoulders. “Well, then I guess it’s a good thing we couldn’t do more, because it sounds like Cady’s ready to be fed.” She brushed another kiss against his lips. “You go talk to Sonny, and find something for dinner. I’ll go feed our daughter.”

She glanced over her shoulder to find him smiling at her, and was ridiculously relieved that Carly had talked her out of moving out while he was in Puerto Rico. She might have missed this moment, and she was done wasting time.

She, She is the words that I can’t find
How can the only thing that’s killing me make me feel so alive
And I couldn’t speak
I couldn’t breathe to save my life
All of my chances swim like sinking ships
This time it’s it
I’ll drown or make her mine
– She (For Liz), Parachute

Early Wednesday, December 4, 2003

Harborview Towers: Penthouse Hallway

It was not long after one in the morning when Sonny and Carly exited the elevator and turned the corner to find Max waiting for them. “Hey, Max. Leticia and the boys doing all right?”

“Yes, sir, Boss. Been quiet since about ten.” Max nodded, moving to open the door. “How’s Miss Webber and the baby?”

“Perfect.” Carly stepped inside the penthouse, and then leaned against the doorjamb. “Six pounds, eleven ounces. She was born at 7:05 PM, so if I remember correctly…Dominic won the pool.”

Max huffed. “If the kid could have just waited three more hours, I’d have had some good money.” He cleared his throat. “Jason make it to the hospital?”

“Yep,” Sonny nodded with a half-smile. “I think he’s hanging at the hospital tonight. Not really interested in letting either of them out of his sight, so…” he shrugged and looked at Carly. “Go ahead, and tell him, you know you want to.”

“Bite me, Sonny.” Carly lifted her chin. “She named her after me.”

Max frowned. “But we painted the damn wall—”

“She added Carly’s name to the end of her already chosen name,” Sonny clarified, rolling his eyes. “Cadence Audrey Caroline Morgan. I figure I’ll have to follow Carly around for a few days to make sure people don’t think there are going to be two Carlys running around.”

“The absolute horror,” Max agreed.

Carly stuck her tongue out of him and went inside the penthouse, collapsing on the couch while Sonny gave Max a few instructions and then closed the door. “I have a namesake, Sonny. You can’t take that from me. I watched Elizabeth and Jason sign the papers for her birth certificate. It’s official.”

“And a year ago, you’d have been horrified at the thought of Muffin Webber naming her kid for you.” Sonny joined her on the couch and just grinned at her. “My, how the world has changed.”

“Ah…” Carly closed her eyes. “Screw you.” She opened them again and looked at her husband. “They’re going to be okay, aren’t they? I saw Jason’s face when he held Cady for the first time, and it was everything I think Elizabeth wanted. He looked…”

“He looked like a father,” Sonny murmured. “And I think it was a good first step. But it’s not enough to just look at her with love. He’s going to have to step up.”

“Yeah…but…” Carly sighed and turned her face into the cushions, exhausted. “I also saw her face when he held the baby, and Elizabeth looked relieved, like she’d been trying not to hope for it…and then when Jason gave Cady to Monica, introducing her with his last name…Maybe he did that for appearances, but he didn’t have to. No one would have said anything if he’d just said, here’s Cady. But he didn’t.”

“It’s a good first step,” Sonny repeated. He hesitated. “You were right a few weeks ago, when you said that if you could make Jason happy, it would mean you hadn’t broken him. Maybe I wanted to believe we were past all of that, that things had changed…but…” He leaned his head back against the sofa and looked out into the room. “We did break him. You, me, Robin, maybe even Elizabeth a little. He never trusted easily to begin with, you know? And Robin shattered him. Before he could recover from that, you drop-kicked him, and then I pushed him over a cliff.” He let out a little bitter laugh. “Hell, Elizabeth only broke his heart. Almost nothing compared to the three of us combined, because he broke hers, too.”

“Sonny…”

“Okay, maybe we didn’t break him, but we did…we did chip away at his ability to believe in people, even if he’d never admit it. He told me he couldn’t believe Elizabeth would stay. She never had before, and it wasn’t like people didn’t lie. Robin had promised to keep the secret, but she’d blindsided him. You asked him to be Michael’s father…and I taught him about honor and loyalty. And look at what we did to him.”

“I thought he’d forgiven us,” Carly murmured. She leaned into Sonny’s side, her cheek against his shoulder. “And I think he did. But he never forgot. So you kicked some sense into him?”

“I hope so,” he sighed. “Because I’m beginning to see your point. If he can be happy, if he can build a life with Elizabeth and Cady, then maybe we don’t have to feel guilty anymore.” He kissed the top of her head. “I love you, Carly, but I wish like hell we could have figured it out without betraying him.”

“I know.” Carly closed her eyes, and remembered the look on his face when he’d seen her on the steps that terrible night. To know he’d been standing there, with a gunshot wound. Maybe Jason had forgiven them, but she had never quite been able to forgive herself. Not all the way. Not until she knew he would be okay.

General Hospital: Elizabeth’s Room

Elizabeth yawned and hastily covered her mouth, with a sheepish smile. “Sorry, Gram,” she said to her grandmother, who was rocking Cady across the room. “I just…haven’t been able to sleep much. These hospital beds aren’t nearly as nice as mine at home.”

Audrey laughed and laid Cady back in her bassinet. “Well, you’ll be out of here tomorrow. I know you’re eager to get home and settle Cady in her nursery.” She perched on the edge of Elizabeth’s bed. “Are you and Jason all right, darling? After you kicked him out of the delivery room—”

“I was…” Elizabeth sighed and closed her eyes. “I was angry at him, Gram. I know the trip was important, and I’m not just saying that. I know he had to go, but it didn’t change how I felt about it. I just…” She hesitated. “I love him. You were right about that, and we’ve been trying really hard to make it better, to make a family, but…”

“You know that your grandfather was the love of my life,” Audrey said softly, brushing Elizabeth’s hair off her forehead. “But he and I spent years fighting it, because there were days when it was just too difficult. We made mistakes, we said and did things that hurt one another terribly. We both tried to move on with other people, but there came a day, when we realized that no matter what we’d done to try and destroy our love, it still beat within our hearts.” She took Elizabeth’s hand in hers and laced their fingers together. “Falling in love is the easy part, Elizabeth. It’s everything that comes after it that’s difficult…and it’s what makes it worthwhile.”

“I know that…” Elizabeth paused. “We just…started this all wrong. Backwards. I wasn’t sure if he could look at Cady without thinking of how she came to be, how many people we hurt, and the mistakes—”

“Elizabeth, did you not see at that man holding your daughter?” Audrey interrupted. “The look on his face when he handed his daughter to his mother for the first time…that is not a man who sees an obligation, and you know Monica is going to live on that moment for months.”

And Audrey was right, because she had seen Jason holding Cady, and she’d seen the love in his eyes, the way his face had lit up. And when he’d given her to Monica, calling her our daughter, and adding his last name…it was everything she wanted that moment to be.

Which meant that Jason had been hiding that love for months. No matter how much she had begged for honesty, he’d kept that locked away.

“I do believe differently now. I know he loves her. I just…want to make sure I do everything I can to give Cady a good life. With parents who love her always…” She cleared her throat. “But Nadine told me all summer to just talk to him. Carly told me to talk to him. And I never did. I let the way I thought he felt color my emotions, and I told him that he hadn’t…given me a reason to stay…except I know he wants me to.”

“So maybe, my darling, the next time you talk to him, you actually listen.” Audrey leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “You’ve been through so much, Elizabeth. But you know, if it lead you to this point, to that beautiful little girl, then perhaps…it was worth the journey.”

“Now, that I believe,” Elizabeth laughed, squeezing her grandmother’s hand. “I can’t believe you’re on Jason’s side, Gram. You realize how impossible that sounds to me.”

“Well, I could have fought you tooth and nail, but you made it abundantly clear years ago you would do as you like.” Audrey smiled. “I learned that for sure the day you ran away with Lucky Spencer, and if that hadn’t gotten through my skull, the moment you told me you were moving out because I trying to send Jason away.”

“You know…Gram….” Elizabeth winced. “Nothing happened that winter. I know what people were saying, but…it wasn’t like that. Jason needed a place to stay, and I was just helping him—”

“Well…” Audrey leaned back. “I can’t say I’m not relieved. You were a little young, but…” she sighed. “He was always so good to you. And even now, I see the way he looks at you, how he treats you. I will never understand his lifestyle, but it is not for me to accept.” She touched Elizabeth’s chin. “All I want is for you to light up again, and you did that last night when you brought that angel into this world, and when you saw Jason hold her, that light was burning brightly. Hold on to that feeling, and I’ll be satisfied.”

The door opened and Elizabeth’s eyes widened when she saw Emily step in, hesitantly. “Hey…do you…can I come in?”

Elizabeth felt her grandmother tense at her side, so she patted her grandmother’s shoulder. “It’s all right, Gram. Can you give us some time?” She smiled. “Maybe go develop your film and show off to the rest of the staff.”

“That is an excellent suggestion.” Audrey kissed Elizabeth’s forehead, kissed Cady goodbye before pausing next to Emily. “She’s just had a baby, so I hope you’re planning on being civil.”

With that, she left the room, leaving the former best friends alone. Emily shifted uncomfortably and looked toward the bassinet. “The…hospital gossip is that you named her Cadence.”

“I did.” Elizabeth nodded. “Cadence Audrey Caroline Morgan.” She took a sip of water her grandmother had left at her bedside. “I didn’t get the chance to thank you after…the attack in October—”

“No, no.” Emily held up her hand. “You have nothing to thank me for.” She sighed. “God, this is so much harder than I thought it would be, because I had planned it all out in my head—what I would say to you, and then what I would say to Jason, but it’s all gone now. I…I’ve been a bitch.”

Elizabeth arched an eyebrow. “No arguments here.”

Emily smiled then, somewhat sheepishly. “And you didn’t deserve it. I can…see it now. After your botched kidnapping, I felt so guilty. And even before that, I was trying to understand why I was so angry, when you were right all along — I had broken up with Zander over a year earlier.”

“Em…”

“And I never once asked you to explain,” Emily hurried to continue. “I did what I always do with you. I looked at the situation and judged without context. Like I did with Jason that winter. I assumed you were sleeping with him, even though you would have told me something like that, and then you rightfully refused to tell me anything substantial when I was such a brat. I always do that to you, Liz. I’m sorry.”

“Emily…that was years ago—”

“But it starts back there,” Emily said, stepping towards her. “I was so angry when Lucky came home, because he didn’t come home. Not all the way. We all knew it. And I was so angry with you—”

“Me?” Elizabeth repeated. “Why?”

“Because you were Lucky’s girlfriend. You loved him, and he loved you, and you were always so perfect together. And I thought if you’d stop…” She huffed, rolling her eyes. “It sounds so stupid when I say it out loud, but I thought if you’d stop worrying about Jason, and just concentrated on Lucky, he would come back all the way. Except he never did. Even now, when he’s mostly okay, he’s still not Lucky.”

“Oh…Emily…”

“So I was angry about that, even though it was my fault, too. We all refused to see Lucky wasn’t the same. We ignored all the signs, blamed you for them. And he spent so much longer under Helena’s control. If we could have seen it earlier…so I blamed you even more, because you knew him better than anyone else, so if you didn’t see the signs, it was your fault. You weren’t looking hard enough.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes and tried not to be annoyed, tried to remember Emily was a year younger than her, that they had all handled Lucky’s problems in their own ways. “So this anger fed into your reaction over Zander.”

“That’s what Lainey, my therapist says,” Emily said. “I started seeing her after your kidnapping attempt. And it’s why I came home, and immediately befriended my brother’s girlfriend, even though I knew he’d broken up with you and started seeing her right away. I let what Courtney tell me color our conversations, because I was always looking for reasons why everything was your fault.” She took a deep breath. “But it wasn’t. I’m just sorry I had to sacrifice our friendship, my relationship with my brother…” And now she cast her eyes towards the bassinet. “And chances of knowing my niece.”

Because Emily did look upset, did appear regretful, Elizabeth just sighed. “I want to say that we can forgive each other. Because we’ve gone through so much, but I just…I don’t know, Em. I really needed you last spring, and you couldn’t hear me.”

“I know.” Emily swiped at her eyes. “And I made the situation so much worse when I hinted to Ric. I would take that back a thousand times if I could, Elizabeth. I promise you that. I wish I could make it better, that I could make it so it never happened—”

“But it’s not like I’ve never made a mistake.” Elizabeth said. She bit her lip. “We may never be that close again, I don’t know. But at the end of the day, we go back a long way. And you are Jason’s sister. He loves you. So…” She shrugged. “Go pick up your niece.”

Emily’s eyes brightened. “Really?”

“Yes. I know you’ll love her as much as we do,” Elizabeth said, believing that for the first time. “So…what are you waiting for?”

Emily scooted over and lifted the newborn into her arms. “Oh, she’s so gorgeous. You’re calling her Cady for short? I just love that. It’s original, and it’s all her own.” She made a cooing noise. “Oh, she is going to have Jason wrapped around her finger, I can just see it now.”

Elizabeth smiled faintly. She was hoping that was true, but it was nice to hear others say the same.

The door to the room opened and Jason stepped, in a brown bag from Kelly’s. His eyes zeroed in on his sister, and Elizabeth saw him tense. “Emily.”

“Jason…” Emily took a deep breath. “I just…came to clear the air with Elizabeth. To meet my niece.” She looked down at Cady. “Elizabeth…said I could hold her.”

Jason glanced at her, and she was grateful for that—for him to look to her for confirmation, because she knew the distance between them had been a result of his protection of her, of her health. “Elizabeth?”

“Jason, relax.” Elizabeth shifted in her bed. “Tell me that’s Ruby’s chili, or at least as good as Don can make it.”

“It is.” Jason set the bag on her table that hung partially over the bed and stripped off his leather jacket. He looked at Emily. “So…things are good?”

“They’re better,” Emily clarified. She stepped towards them and handed Cady over to him. “I…have a lot to make up for. To both of you. I’ve been…working some things out, and I just…” She took a deep breath, and smiled even though her eyes were miserable. Jason wasn’t giving her much to work with. “I have to get back to work, anyway. My break’s over. I’ll…call you, Liz.”

When she was gone, Jason adjusted Cady a little higher in his arms, but Elizabeth was pleased to see he made no move to hand her over or put her back in the bassinet. “It was really okay?”

“Yeah. We cleared the air. We’re not back to where we were, but…” Elizabeth hesitated. “We were honest with each other, and that’s…important.”

“Yeah.” Jason took a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have gone to Puerto Rico. I knew it even when I decided to go, and Sonny warned me, but I thought…with what you’d said after the baby shower, it would be…”

“Jason, the day is going to come when you and I are going to sit down and we’re going to be honest with each other again. Like that day we sat in your penthouse after I moved in, and cleared most of the air.” Elizabeth reached out for his band. “Because if this is ever going to work, we’re both going to have to stop protecting ourselves. I don’t want to live half a life when I think that I…and my daughter…that we’d be so much happier with you.”

“I want you both to be happy with me, too,” Jason admitted.

“But that day is not this day,” Elizabeth said. “Not when I’m less than twenty-four hours out of labor, and I can smell that chili. Now gimme.”

Thursday, December 5, 2003

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Jason waited for Francis to push open the door before he stepped inside, Cady’s baby carrier in his one hand and Elizabeth’s duffel bag over his shoulder. He stepped aside to watch as Elizabeth gingerly stepped over the threshold. Behind her, Cody and Marco had flowers, stuffed animals and other various presents Elizabeth had received while in the hospital. “Do you want that stuff in the nursery?”

“Um…” Elizabeth paused by the desk and considered. Jason set Cady on top of the desk and the bag next to her. “Yes. But…just put it in the empty corner, because I don’t know how I’m going to arrange any of it yet.”

“Sure thing, Miss Webber.” Cody nodded, and he squared his shoulders, probably trying to look as tough and professional as always, but it was difficult while he was carrying the giant teddy bear Nikolas Cassadine had had delivered. He and Marco started up the stairs.

“Do you want to sit?” Jason asked. “Carly set up the portable crib down here if you don’t want to take Cady upstairs just yet—”

“Jason…” She put a hand on his arm. “Relax. I’m tired, and I’m sore. But I’m fine. I’ve been sitting for the last week, too uncomfortable to move.” She leaned over Cady’s carrier and smoothed the baby’s almost non-existent fluff of dark hair. “I’m nervous,” she confessed. She smiled as the two guards, finished with their duty, headed out of the penthouse.

Jason frowned. “Why? We have everything—”

“I’ve never been a mother before,” Elizabeth explained. “It’s easy right now, because she’s so good. She sleeps, but…” She huffed. “She’s going to cry, and what if I don’t know what kind of cry it is? How do I know if she’s hungry, or scared or lonely?”

“It’s not easy.” Jason lifted the carrier in his hand and led her over to the sofa, where he put Cady on the coffee table, knowing Elizabeth would sit. “I didn’t know with Michael, but I figured…if he was hungry, he’d eat. So I’d give him a bottle, and if he didn’t want that, then if I held him, he wouldn’t scared or lonely. And eventually, he was on a routine with his feedings, and you know…their crying is different. It’s not always the same for every emotion.”

Elizabeth froze, her hand halfway in the air before turning back to him. “Jason…”

He didn’t meet her eyes, just stared at the baby, hoping she would wake up, stop this conversation. He wasn’t ready for it. To admit to Elizabeth that he hadn’t trusted her. Not all the way.

“I never…” Elizabeth cleared her throat. “I should have thought about it. About Michael. And…” She twisted on the sofa, and he only sighed when he saw her wince. “But I guess…I just didn’t. I…” Her shoulders slumped. “Did you think I would take her away?”

“I…” And of course, now that she was looking at him, asking him this question, he realized just what an idiot he’d been, because of course she wouldn’t take Cady away. “No. But—”

“I guess you didn’t think Robin or Carly would either,” Elizabeth said, but he saw the hurt in her eyes, in the way her mouth was set in a line.

“Elizabeth—” But he had no defense. None at all. “It’s not that I…”

“No, I guess…” Elizabeth sighed, her fingers feathering over her daughter’s cheek. “I guess I even understand it. You loved Robin, and for God knows what reason, you trusted Carly. And it’s not…like I haven’t given you reason to distrust me—”

He was not going to let her blame herself for his idiocy. “Elizabeth, it’s not…” He took a deep breath. “I didn’t…consciously think you would let me fall in love with your daughter and then take her away. I never thought you’d do what Robin did. And I know you’re not insane enough to do what Carly did. But…”

“You’ve been telling me all along in your own way.” Elizabeth tucked her hair behind her ears. “I just didn’t hear what you trying to tell me. I never stay.” She shrugged. “Not news. But Jason…you never stay either.”

“I—” And he couldn’t deny that. He had walked away first, that winter before Lucky was back. And he’d left town after she walked away in the park. And maybe she had physically left the penthouse the year before, but he’d pushed her out, he could see that now. “I know that.”

“So what are we left with?” she murmured. “Two people who don’t trust the other to stay. Can…can we even get past that?”

“If we want to.” Jason reached for her hand. “We used to trust one another. To take what the other said for face value.”

“When we were just friends,” Elizabeth replied with a smile. “But you started trying to protect me that winter, in my studio. Started trying to make decisions for me, when I told you wanted you around. Trying to protect to me. It’s…when our feelings started to change, at least for me, I started…to become guarded because I was…” She laughed, an almost exasperated sound. “I was so afraid you’d see how I felt on my face, and I wasn’t ready to deal with how I felt, much less to have you let me down gently.”

“Why would I have done that?” Jason frowned. “You knew…how I felt about you.”

“Not…entirely.” Elizabeth pursed her lips, trying to explain. “I thought I’d see you look at me, particularly that second time you stayed in the studio, when I was seeing Lucky. And I…I guess…I had mostly assumed that the way I’d felt the year before, had faded. I mean, you were this gorgeous guy with a great smile who spent half the time living with me with your shirt open because I was changing your wound.” Her cheeks flushed and he grinned. “And you were this great listener.” She wrinkled her nose. “I saw you looking at me, sometimes then. But I didn’t…say anything then, because…” she shrugged.

“I’m not sure what would have happened if either of us had given in to how we felt then,” Jason said quietly. He looked at their fingers laced together. “I thought maybe you were too young. And you were starting to get past Lucky, but you weren’t there yet. I was…dealing with my own stuff. But…that last day, when I tried to say goodbye.”

“I wanted you to kiss me,” Elizabeth confessed, with a guilty smile. “When you leaned in toward me, I thought…just for a second, you might.”

“I considered it, but it wouldn’t have been fair.” Jason exhaled slowly. “So you’re right. I was already making decisions for you because of how I felt. I should have kissed you any of the dozen times I thought about it. Every time you hugged me, or kissed me on the cheek. How many times we came close that last time I was home…I kept waiting for you to make the decision, because it was your life that would change. You were the one who had to make the choice.”

“We’ve wasted a lot of time, Jason,” she said softly. “Are we going to keep wasting it? Or are we going to stop looking for reasons to walk away. It’d be easy. It’d be safer, maybe. But I…” She closed her eyes and seemed to come to some sort of inner decision. “I’ve loved you since I was eighteen years old, and maybe I’ve even been in love with you for as long. But I don’t want to be in love by myself anymore. It’s too hard. It’s lonely.”

“You’re not.” Jason reached out, and feathered the back of his hand down her cheek. “You’re not alone. I…I love you, too. And I don’t want to waste another minute.”

And apparently, neither did Cady, because the newborn’s eyes fluttered, she hiccupped, and then she wailed, and their conversation was over for the moment.