Monthly Archives: November 2014

November 9, 2014

So I woke up yesterday thinking about how much I love reading about marriages of convenience in my historical romance novels. (The Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas may be one of the best books I’ve ever read). I’ve written about the plot device once in Poisonous Dreams, but abandoned it in the rewrite. Reposting the very first version of that story had me just day dreaming about what it would take to make a marriage of convenience with Jason and Elizabeth work.

One thought led to another, until I had to start writing down the scenes and dialogue. 6, 559 words later and I had a full outline for a story. Ha. I have issues. Anyway. I can’t figure out what to call the damn thing. Sometimes a title just comes to me, and sometimes it’s like pulling teeth. So, here’s your blurb. I’ve put up a poll with two choices, but if you have a better idea that would be great too 😛

Set in 2006. As Elizabeth plans to take a paternity test, she learns she has been suspended from her job, suspected of providing Lucky with pills. Ric gives her an ultimatum: Lose your job, your child and go to jail or testify against Jason. She turns to Jason for help, but their solution may just end up causing them more problems than they can solve. 

[socialpoll id=”2231161″]

Or comment with your own choice. Later today, I’ll finish adding Silent Reverie and work on some of the other Graveyard story content. Just a friendly reminder that any story on that page is either abandoned or in the process of being rewritten, so don’t get too attached to any of them.

So I set up the Fiction Graveyard page. All the stories are linked, only some of the them have content on the story pages. I’ll be added stuff slowly , particularly when it comes to Poisonous Dreams #1 (Yeah, I forgot the version I rewrote this year was actually the second one, ha) because that’s thirteen chapters, Aurora Dawning‘s first version is ten chapters and the original Shadows was at least thirteen, I think.

I also discovered one of my completed alternate universes never made it here — A Matter of Principles where Elizabeth is a cop married to alleged crime enforcer Jason Morgan. I’m not entirely fond of it, but it should still be here. I’ll add it at some point.

So in addition to the pretty Fiction Graveyard (located in the Readers section) page, two abandoned stories are posted:

– Bring Me to Life, of which there is only an abandoned prologue so it’s posted in its entirety such as it is.
– Silent Reverie, Prologue and Chapter One. There are two more chapters I’ll post tomorrow.

Plans for the rest of the weekend mostly include filling out some of the story pages to get ready to add chapters which will make life easier, working on the novella ebook collection, and doing some more writing.

“This sucks.”

“Jake, don’t say things like that in front of Gem,” Elizabeth Morgan admonished. Fourteen-year-old Jake Morgan rolled his eyes.

“Mom, she’s five. She can handle the word suck,” Jake insisted.

“What’s suck?” Grace-Emily Morgan asked her blue eyes wide with curiosity. “Is it a bad word?” she asked, in a hushed voice.

Elizabeth sighed and set a bowl of cereal in front of her youngest child. “Not all the time,” she explained.

“When’s Dad coming home?” Jake demanded. “He’d let me go.”

“You’re not going,” Elizabeth said firmly.

“But Ryan’s going!” Jake whined. “He’s only a year older than me.”

“I don’t care. You are not Ryan and I am not Carly,” Elizabeth replied. She took a sponge from the sink and started to wipe some crumbs from Jake’s toast. “Carrie!” she called. “You’d better get down here or you’re not going to be able to eat before the bus gets here!”

“Ryan and Addie get driven to school in a limo,” Jake remarked scornfully.

“I don’t care what Ryan and Addie do,” Elizabeth retorted, trying to control her temper. “You are not some spoiled rich kid. I rode the bus when I was your age and I think I turned out just fine.” She tossed the sponge back into the sink. “Caroline Audrey Morgan!”

“I’m coming!” Carrie called. “I just need to brush my hair.”

“She was brushing her car when I passed her room,” Gem reported dutifully.

“That was ten minutes ago!” Elizabeth sank into a chair. “I need a vacation,” she grumbled.

“Ryan says you’re an uptight person who hates Dad’s job and that’s why we never get to do any cool stuff,” Jake reported.

Elizabeth’s head snapped up, her dark blue eyes burning with anger. “Excuse me?” she demanded.

Jake gulped. “That’s what Ryan said,” he reminded her. “Not me.”

“What’s uptight?” Gem asked her mouth full of cereal.

“Don’t speak with food in your mouth,” Elizabeth told her, ignoring the question. “And where did Ryan pick up this lovely nugget of information?”

“Uh” Jake frowned, not wanting to get Ryan in trouble. “I don’t really remember.”

“If you want to go to Boston this weekend, you’ll remember right now,” Elizabeth warned.

“I think maybe from his mother,” Jake said carefully.

“I am going to kill her,” Elizabeth muttered.

“That’s not nice, Mommy,” Gem admonished, waving her spoon at her mother.

“Sorry, baby,” Elizabeth murmured, holding her head in her hands. “Mommy’s just tired.”

Six-year-old Caroline Morgan entered the kitchen then. “Where’s breakfast?” she chirped.

After Elizabeth had sent Jake and the girls to the bus stop, she moved around the kitchen deftly, cleaning up the remnants of breakfast. Jason had wanted to hire someone to help out while he wasn’t in town, but Elizabeth had staunchly refused. She was pregnantthat didn’t mean she was incapable of taking care of their rambunctious children.

She was beginning to regret that decision.

She was just about finished and ready for a nap when the kitchen phone rang.

“Hello?” she yawned.

“It’s me,” Jason said. “You sound tired.”

She smiled and leaned against the kitchen wall. “I am. You try cooking and serving breakfast to three children.”

“I’ll be home tonight,” Jason told her. “And tomorrow, you can sleep in.”

Elizabeth chuckled. “Don’t tease me.”

Before he could reply, something strange happened. The entire ground seemed to shift, the walls started to shake. Jason heard some things crashing in the background. “Elizabeth, what’s going on?”

“I don’t know!” she replied, panicky. “It’s like an earthquake!”

“We live in New York!” Jason shot back.

“I know that!” A few moments of panicked silence passed before she was back on the line. “It’s over. Whatever it was.”

“Are you okay?” Jason demanded.

“I’m fine,” Elizabeth replied. “Just a little shaken up. I’m going to call the school I want to check on the kids. I’ll see you tonight.”

“I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

—–

While Elizabeth had experienced what felt like a minor earthquake back home, Jake and his sisters had quite a difference experience altogether.

There was a bright, nearly blinding light and when it disappeared, the trio was completely alone in an empty room.

“Uh” Jake looked around. “This doesn’t look like the bus stop.”

“Where are we?” Carrie demanded her voice high and shrill. Instead of being confused or complaining, Gem started to cry.

“Aw, hell,” Jake muttered. He kneeled down in front of his sister. “Come on, Gemmie. Don’t cry. It’s not that bad. I’m sure this is just a hallucination or something.”

“Or something is about right.”

The strange voice had Jake lunging his feet and shoving his sisters behind him out of instinct. “Who are you?” he demanded of the dark-haired man who’d entered the room. “Where are we?”

The man smirked. “Just like your father. Confrontational and protective. You’re safe, don’t worry.”

“What’s going on?” Jake asked, not letting down his guard.

“You three are here to correct a minor little problem we seemed to have come across,” the man remarked. “I probably look familiar to you”

“Hey, that’s Uncle Sonny’s old lawyer!” Carrie announced gleefully. “I seen pictures of him. The ones Daddy threw out.”

The man smirked. “Yeah, Jason was never too fond of my brief attraction to your mother.”

Jake narrowed his eyes. “What do you want?”

“I’m Ric Lansing, an old friend of Sonny’s,” Ric introduced himself. “Now, back in Port Charles, most people experienced something that felt like an earthquake. It wasn’t anything of the kind. We at the WSB”

“WSB?” Gem interrupted. “Is that like the FBI?” she asked curiously. “Because if it is, I don’t think Daddy would want us talking you.”

“Be quiet, Gem,” Jake instructed. “I know what the WSB is,” he said.

“I work in a division that oversees time travel,” Ric said.

“Time travel doesn’t exist,” Jake replied confused.

“Yeah, that’s what we want you to believe. In any case, the earthquake was actually a shift in the time line,” Ric explained. “We had a minor computer glitch and it kind of screwed with the past.”

“So fix it,” Jake said.

“It’s not that easy,” Ric said. “See, the minor computer glitch was actually someone who sort of…well, for the lack of better word, hacked into the system to change a specific event. We’re not sure what the event is, but we do know that it has something to do with your parents.”

“I want my mommy,” Gem demanded. “Where’s my mommy?”

“Someone didn’t want your parents to get married,” Ric continued. “We don’t know who it is at this point, but whoever it was, they went back in time and did something to change the outcome of your parents’ relationship.”

“Why do you care?” Jake asked. “And what do you expect us to do about it?”

“I care because preserving the timeline is my job. We never ever change anything that happened in the past,” Ric explained, some slight frustration becoming evident in his voice. “We can’t even change the Holocaust or any World Wars because it would screw up too many things. I care because the sanctity of my life’s work has been disrupted and my job’s on the line.”

“And where do we come in?” Jake asked. “Shouldn’t you have some agent fix it?”

“We’re trying to keep this contained,” Ric went on. “Only myself and few agents know about it. We decided that launching a full fledged investigation was not prudent at this time. It would take too long and in the progress, you and your sisters would cease to exist. We can’t take the chance that someone else might figure this out.”

Jake frowned. “So you want us to go and fix it?” he asked, curiously. “Why us? We’re only kids.”

“Who else knows your parents better?” Ric asked. “Look, I don’t like it. It’s not the best decision my team’s ever made, but it’s the best we can do. We’ve contacted an old agent back in 2002. He’s gonna help out, so why don’t we get the three of you briefed and get this taken care of.”

“You realize that Carrie and Gem are only six and five, right?” Jake reminded him. “That I am only fourteen?”

“Yeah, your ages are a drawback, but we’re running out of time and options,” Ric finished. “Let’s get this over with.” He pressed a button and a door appeared in the wall. “You ready?”

Jake eyed his younger sisters behind him. “Yeah, sure. Why not?”

This entry is part 2 of 4 in the Fiction Graveyard: Silent Reverie

July 17, 2004

These clouds around you break your fall
As you came crashing to the ground

Dillon hesitantly held out a glass of water to his grandfather. “Monica says you should drink something.”

Edward didn’t move, didn’t look up at him and certainly did not take the glass. He simply sat on the couch and stared into space and Dillon decided he’d much rather Edward be starting in on his hair.

Brooke Lynn Ashton pulled him away from the couch. “Can’t people just leave him alone?” she asked, irritated. “His wife of like a hundred years has died. Do you think a glass of water is gonna change that?”

“Well—no,” Dillon stopped and glared at her. “Hey, you knew Grandmother for all of five seconds, okay? I knew her for a year and this is killing me. She was the first person to welcome me to the family. She smiled every damn time she saw me and never once started in on my hair, my girlfriend, or my future. Do you know how rare a person like that is in this family?”

“I know—”

“So stop trying to act superior,” Dillon muttered. He shoved the glass into her hand and stalked away. She glared after him.

Did you learn anything at all?
You climb back up to come back down

Felicia Jones sipped her glass of wine and touched her daughter’s shoulder. “This just feels so wrong to be at her funeral,” she murmured.

“I know,” Maxie sighed. “I mean, I know everyone dies sooner or later but I guess—I figure there are some people who just don’t deserve it. Who deserve to get to keep on living and I always thought Mrs. Quartermaine would be around.”

Amy Vining joined them. “This is the first time I’ve been to this place without the family getting into some loud and crazy argument,” she remarked. She shook her head. “Doesn’t seem right.” She looked to Felicia and Maxie. “Hey, did you see Audrey Hardy rushing out of here with Emily Quartermaine and Lucky Spencer?”

“No, is she all right?” Felicia asked curiously.

“Audrey’s great-grandson is ill,” Amy told them. “And you know what else? Elizabeth was with Jason Morgan when she find out.” Amy wriggled her eyebrows. “You think they’re together again?”

“She’s married,” Maxie said, before remembering that she lived in Port Charles and that marriage didn’t always count.

“To Ric Lansing,” Amy rolled her eyes. “Besides, everyone knows that Jason Morgan has had a thing for her for ages.”

“He was married, too,” Maxie said, exasperated but her mother was firmly intrigued with this conversation and she wondered when everyone had lost their morals.

“To Courtney Matthews, his boss’s sister. And have you seen her in a tank top? What man is attracted to that?” Amy said with a wicked look in her eyes.

“Oh, I don’t know. Jason, AJ, Brian Beck, Jax,” Maxie began to tick off Courtney’s men on one hand.

“And anyway, Elizabeth just brought a new baby into town that was conceived while she and Ric were apart. Blonde hair, blue eyes,” Amy murmured with a knowing look.

“Elizabeth has blue eyes and her sister has blonde hair,” Maxie said in frustration. Why did people want to spread mindless gossip?

“Really?” Felicia asked, her eyes wide. “You know, I always thought they made a good couple.”

“Oh, I quit.” Maxie threw up her hands and walked away.

Everybody knows your name
But they don’t know who you are

Alexis Davis entered the study at Wyndemere, hesitating just inside the doorway. Nikolas was standing in front of the fireplace, staring into the flames. “I’m not sure what to call you,” she said after a moment.

He turned and looked at her and Alexis wondered if she’d ever get used to idea of seeing nothing in his eyes. “I’m not sure,” he said after a moment. “I thought I was Connor Bishop but apparently I’m Nikolas Cassadine. Who am I supposed to be?”

“I suppose that’s up to you,” Alexis remarked. She lifted Kristina into her arms. “I wanted you to meet Kristina. She’s my daughter.”

The curly-brown haired imp struggled in her mother’s arms and reached for him. “Nik-was,” she said, clearly pleased to see him.

Nikolas came forward and set his shot glass on the desk. “She knows me.”

“You’re her cousin,” Alexis said. She bit her lip. “You were her cousin. Nikolas—” she closed her eyes and he saw the struggle inside of her. She wanted to be in his life but didn’t want to push.

He touched Alexis’s shoulder. “Nikolas will do. It seems simpler.”

She nodded. “I don’t want you to be who used you to be if that’s not what you want. I just—you were very important to me. My last piece of family. I don’t want to lose that.”

“Then we’re in agreement.” Nikolas nodded. “You are my aunt and Kristina is my cousin. She’s just a child and I don’t want to confuse her.” He took Kristina from Alexis and smiled at her. “Hey there.”

“Nik-was,” Kristina hugged him. “Where you be?”

“I’ve been lost,” he told her. “But I think I’m home now.”

But to them it’s just the same
Yeah you’re just another name

Elizabeth clutched Jason’s arm as the doctor drew near. “I don’t care if you lie,” she whispered. “Just promise me he’ll be okay.”

Thankfully, the doctor was in front of them before Jason had to make such a promise. “Mrs. Webber? We think Cameron has roseola.”

She didn’t correct the name but just blinked. “What is that?”

“It’s a common childhood illness. High fever, some fatigue, runny nose, irritability—usually signs of it. Cameron’s running the high fever and he’s starting to develop the rash.”

“Common,” Elizabeth repeated. “He’s going to be okay, though right?” she asked fearfully, her grip on Jason’s maroon shirt tightening.

“We want to keep him in the hospital to keep an eye on the fever and I’d like to draw some blood from you and your husband to be on the safe side but—”

Elizabeth released Jason and stepped away, startled. “I don’t have a husband. J-Jason’s just a friend.”

“Oh.” The doctor frowned. “Well, that’s fine then. In case Cameron needs blood, we’d just like to draw some blood from you and Cameron’s father. He’s B, you know and that’s rather rare.”

“Well…I’m O,” Elizabeth replied. “I don’t know—Zander was Cameron’s father and he died earlier this year. I don’t know his blood type but I guess that doesn’t matter.”

“That’s too bad then,” the doctor remarked regrettably. “Since the baby’s other parent would have had to been B or AB—they’re both somewhat rare.”

“I’m AB,” Jason spoke up. Elizabeth glanced up at him, a little surprised and the doctor smiled then. “I could give blood.”

“Well, that’s great then.”

The doctor had just led Jason away when the elevators slid open and Audrey, Emily and Lucky spilled out.

“Where’s Cameron?” Emily asked as Audrey put an arm around her granddaughter.

“He’s in with the doctors. Zander, Emily…what was his blood type?” Elizabeth asked.

“What?” Emily frowned. “He was O. Why?”

She said fame will bring you down
At least that’s what she used to say

“The whole world has gone insane,” Maxie said, disgusted as she joined Dillon and Georgie at the buffet table. “Vows mean nothing. Promises mean nothing. Why don’t people just walk around naked?”

Dillon raised his eyebrows, clearly interested in this thread of conversation. “I’m very intrigued by this plan and I’d like to help you develop it some more.”

Georgie smacked him before looking at her sister. “What’s wrong?”

“Amy Vining just—” Maxie bit her lip. “She’s just saying these things and talking about how Elizabeth Webber’s baby might be Jason’s and how they were having an affair and they were both married, for Christ’s sake. And it just reminded me of Mom with Luke when she was married to Mac. I just hate it. Why can’t people just make promises and keep them?”

“Because the generation before us had clearly too much too drink,” Brooke Lynn sniped joining them. She downed her soda. “Look at my parents. My dad’s been married—how many times now? And my mom’s never gotten over him. They’re divorced and I don’t think either of them knows why so they just blame it on the family.” She snorted. “Bunch of pansies.”

“If I get married, I’m never going to cheat,” Georgie said definitively. “I think it’s horrible. Especially if you have kids.”

“It’s bad even if you don’t,” Brooke Lynn argued. She let out a long frustrated breath. “How many times have Alan and Monica been divorced?”

“I think they’ve lost count,” Maxie remarked. “Not to mention Bobbie’s string of marriages, my mother’s and I think even AJ’s been married more than once.”

“Twice. Both were mistakes if you ask me,” Dillon shrugged. “Wasn’t here personally but anyone who marries Carly Corinthos or Courtney Matthews is asking for misery.”

The four teens studied the adults around them with open disapproval. It was a strange day in Port Charles when a bunch of kids were more mature than their parents.

Then they handed her another crown
She said it would never be this way

“So tell me more about you,” Nikolas asked. “You’re a lawyer. Are you married? Where’s Kristina’s father?”

Alexis sighed heavily and sat on the couch, watching Kristina try and braid Nikolas’s short dark hair without much success. “I’m not married though I have been once. Almost twice. Kristina’s father is Sonny Corinthos but he doesn’t know that and he never will.”

“Fair enough.” Nikolas looked at her. “Who did you almost marry?”

“Ned Ashton, Emily’s cousin. I loved him—part of me always will but it just wasn’t right for me.” Alexis leaned back and tilted her head to the ceiling. “I was married to Jax but that was somewhat of a mistake. He’s a great friend, lousy husband.”

“Was I married before being engaged to Emily?” Nikolas asked curiously.

“Yes. To Lydia Karenin for her family’s money. But you divorced and she left town with AJ Quartermaine. Before Lydia, you were engaged to Gia Campbell but broke it off when you grew apart.”

“I seem to have a long history of engagements. Why do you think that is?”

“You have a large and generous heart, Nikolas. That part of you has never changed.”

“I’ve heard a lot about who I used to be and part of me wishes that it could come back. That I could love Emily again and be Lucky’s brother and your nephew like I was before.”

“And the rest of you?”

“The rest of me doesn’t mind that I was Connor Bishop for a while and lived a simple life in a house in the woods with Mary,” Nikolas murmured.

Everybody knows your name
But they don’t know who you are

“No, that can’t be,” Elizabeth shook her head. “Zander’s got to be B or AB, Emily. Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” Emily touched her shoulder. “We had to have blood tests to get married.” She looked at Lucky in worry. “Why doesn’t Mrs. Hardy go check on Cameron and we’ll get you something to eat?”

“No, no, see, Cameron is B. I’m O. Zander and I can’t both be O,” Elizabeth said urgently. Her eyes filled with tears. “Do you understand what I’m saying, Emily?”

“I think so. You don’t think that’s your baby?” Emily asked.

“I don’t think Cameron was Zander’s son,” Elizabeth whispered. Something flashed in her head then. Just a vision of her lying on a bed underneath someone and then Jason’s voice echoed in her head. “I’m AB.”

And then she fainted.

But to them it’s just the same
Yeah you’re just another name
La da da da da just another name

Mary slid the last of Connor’s clothes into a cardboard box and taped it shut. And by Connor, she meant the husband she’d lost in Iraq. It was time to say goodbye to him and to Nikolas.

She had lost them both but her heart was still beating. It was dented but still beating and this time, she would figure out how to survive on her own.

She had circulated her resumes to the local schools and was hoping to get a job before fall. She’d taught before and was eager to start a new life.

Without Nikolas.

She dumped the box on the porch and turned to go back inside to call the Salvation Army to come and pick up Connor’s things.

But Lorenzo Alcazar stood in her way. “Hello, Mary.”

Yesterday she was a little girl
Pretending she was queen

“You ever look at the people you’re related to and think…’This cannot be my life’?” Maxie asked Brooke Lynn. “Because I look at my mother over there gossiping with Amy Vining and God help me, I don’t get it.”

The other teen snorted. “Are you kidding? Look at my mother. I’ve been there, I’ve bought and ripped the T-shirt.”

“Hey, I’ve got Tracy,” Dillon reminded them. But the humor left his voice when he saw his mother sitting next to his grandfather, both of them silent and not looking at the other. “That’s the scariest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Georgie wound her arm through her boyfriend’s and rested her chin on his shoulder. “The pain is too fresh, Dillon. Give them a chance to recover.”

“What if they don’t?” He couldn’t keep the fear from bleeding through. “Grandfather’s heart hasn’t been very good lately. And I can’t believe I’m saying this—but what if they don’t start talking to each other? Arguing?”

“They will,” Maxie said firmly. “That’s how they operate. That’s what makes them a family.”

“I’m beginning to think it was Grandmother who did that,” Brooke Lynn remarked.

Didn’t know it’d change the world
Didn’t know what this should mean

Lucky caught Elizabeth before she hit the ground and moved her to the couch. Audrey went to get her granddaughter some water.

“Jesus, what the hell is going on around here?” Emily muttered as she cradled Elizabeth’s head in her lap. “Go find the doctor that’s treating Cam and get some blood tests done to be sure that’s the same baby Elizabeth gave birth to.”

“And if it he is?” Lucky asked. “You saw her face. Who could his father be?”

A sickening ball of dread began to form in Emily’s stomach. “She said that Zander had to be B or AB to be Cam’s father.”

“Right.”

Emily met Lucky’s eyes. “Jason’s AB.”

“What’s going on?” her brother asked from behind them, a little alarmed. “What’s wrong with Elizabeth?”

Emily shook her head and turned to face her brother. “Zander’s blood was Type O, Jase. Not B or AB. Do you understand what that means?”

Jason hesitated and came closer to the couch. “Someone made a mistake.”

“Yeah.” Emily watched Elizabeth’s face as her friend began to stir. “Someone sure did.”

Which mask will you wear today?
How about the one with the pretty smile

Sam started to pace when Jason hadn’t returned. She was worried that he was friends with the wife of one of most vile men in town. Surely Jason should have seen the conflict of interest in knowing Elizabeth Lansing. She’d left her husband but hadn’t divorced him. That had to mean something?

She twisted her fingers together and had just made up her mind to go to the hospital when the door swung open and her worst nightmare scowled at her.

“Where’s Jason?” Carly Corinthos demanded shrilly.

Sam looked at the ceiling and prayed for the strength not to smack the bony blonde into the next millennium. “He’s at the hospital with Elizabeth Webber.”

“He’s what?” Carly asked. “What the hell is he doing with that little twit?” she asked, pure loathing in her voice

Sam frowned. “I didn’t think it was possible but I do believe you hate her more than you hate me.”

To you it’s just another day
In a life you haven’t lived in quite awhile
Everybody knows your name
But they don’t know who you are

“What do you want?” Mary asked a little apprehensively. She stepped back.

“I heard about Nikolas. That he discovered the truth and has left you. I wanted to extend my sympathies.”

“Uh huh,” Mary said warily. “Well now he’s gone. You’ve got no reason to be here.”

“That’s where you’re mistake, Mary.” Lorenzo smiled then and a strange chill went down her spine. “I’m not finished with you yet.”

But to them it’s just a game
And I think it’s gone too far

“Mrs. Hardy.”

Audrey was about to rejoin her granddaughter and her friends when Dr. Chris Ramsey caught her arm. “Yes, Dr. Ramsey?”

“I’m treating your great-grandson,” Chris began. “And your granddaughter told me that her blood type was O and when she told me who was the father was, I pulled Zander’s records.”

“And?” Audrey asked impatiently.

“Mrs. Hardy, Zander Smith was Type O. There’s no way he’s the father of that baby,” Chris told her.

Everybody knows your name
But they don’t know who you are

“I wonder what gossip she’s spreading now,” Maxie said almost hatefully as she looked at Amy, speaking with Felicia and Bobbie. “That maybe Cameron Webber is the love child of Elizabeth Webber and Sonny Corinthos.”

Dillon perked up. “Now there’s a scenario worth looking…” he trailed off when Maxie threw him a look filled with loathing. “Right then. Horrible thing gossip is. Never agreed with it.”

“No, I bet Amy’s trying to figure out if Cameron’s Elizabeth’s baby at all,” Georgie conspired. “I bet she’s saying that it’s some strange woman’s who Elizabeth came across last fall and the whole pregnancy was faked.”

Brooke Lynn looked at Georgie skeptically. “She wouldn’t.”

“Oh, she so would,” Georgie nodded. “Amy never gets anything right. When Dillon came to town last year, she told anyone who would listen that another one of Alan’s illegitimate kids had come home.”

“Oh, ew. It’s bad enough Tracy’s my mother,” Dillon wrinkled his nose.

“That’s my point. She’s got to be stopped or pretty soon the whole town is going to believe Jason’s the father of that baby,” Maxie remarked. “And that’s not fair to Elizabeth. Or to Jason. And you know how Carly Corinthos and her sister-in-law will take this rumor.”

“I fear for the poor brunette already,” Dillon said grimly. He paused and leveled a suspicious glare on his girlfriend’s sister. “Wait. What do you mean she’s got to be stopped?”

Maxie sent him a charming smile and he shook his head. “Uh, uh. The last time I tried to help someone, I ended up trying to catch the butterflies in a South American jail.”

“Really?” Brooke Lynn asked with some curiosity. “I think that’s a story I’d like to hear.”

“Come on, Dillon,” Maxie asked with bright eyes. “It’s for the greater good.”

“No.”

Georgie stood on her toes and whispered something into his ear. “Yeah?” he asked, intrigued. “Can you do that with whipped cream and a feather?” He sighed heavily. “All right, but no planes, no guns, no fish and no dressing me up like a girl.”

You’ve got the most familiar face
But you’re just another name

Elizabeth opened her eyes and sat up a moment later. “What happened?”

“You fainted.” Emily swept Elizabeth’s hair out of her face. “Are you okay? What happened?”

Elizabeth looked at Jason for a long moment before looking at her best friend. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

La da da da da just another name
La da da da da just another name

This entry is part 1 of 4 in the Fiction Graveyard: Silent Reverie

There was nothing that the town of Port Charles loved more than a good old-fashioned funeral. They could gather, spread gossip and see people that they wouldn’t see any other time of the year.

There were few people in town that could be worthy of funerals so large but Lila Quartermaine had been one of their most beloved citizens, her family their wealthiest. No one threw a funeral like the Quartermaines.

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance

The service was held in St. Mary’s Cathedral downtown and it was packed. Standing room only. There were lines of people to speak but in the end, Drs. Alan and Monica Quartermaine spoke of her, her granddaughter Emily and nephew Ned Ashton spoke.

The husband Edward sat in the front pew silent. For anyone who knew him, it was an indicator of his condition.

Afterwards, there was an invitation only reception though that didn’t stop the press and curious citizenry from trying to gain access.

Longtime friends Elizabeth Webber and Lucky Spencer escorted Emily from the long dark limousine. They kept her shielded from the press as they hurried her into the house. Behind them, Ned Ashton and Dillon Quartermaine helped their mother Tracy from the car to the house. Lila had been one of the few people to genuinely love Tracy and her mother’s death had devastated the normally cold and ruthless woman.

Grandson AJ Quartermaine came after them by himself. He’d driven in a car not sponsored by the family and it was generally rumored that he would leave soon after the reception.

Edward Quartermaine came last, held up by his son Alan and his daughter-in-law Monica.

For a break that would make it okay
There’s always some reason
To feel not good enough

Emily accepted the glass of water from Elizabeth and smiled thinly. “I’m fine,” she whispered. She fidgeted and looked around. She stopped after a moment, realizing she’d been looking for Nikolas.

Elizabeth patted her arm and smiled sadly. “I’m sorry he’s not here.”

“It’s all right.” Emily cleared her throat. “He—he would have been if he remembered. And he doesn’t. Let’s—let’s drop it.” She glanced around again. “So many people were here. So many people loved her.”

“She was a classy woman,” Elizabeth told her friend. “She always reminded me of one of those movie stars—the glamorous ones, you know?”

“There was no one like Lila Quartermaine,” Lucky remarked almost in awe. “The only person I’ve ever seen tell Edward to shut up and have him listen.” He caught the eye of his grandmother, Lesley and excused himself from the two women.

“I was almost hoping Jason would be here,” Emily murmured. “He loved her so much. But—this isn’t his scene. I just—I haven’t seen him since she died.” Her throat felt thick and her voice was hoarse from crying. “I don’t know how he’s handling it and you know that Sonny and Carly won’t give him five minutes alone to grieve.”

Elizabeth touched her arm and swallowed hard. “I could—I could check on him. If it would make you feel better. I have to go in a little while to relieve my baby-sitter. Do you want me to stop by the penthouse?”

Emily focused her tearful eyes on her friend and managed a weak smile. “Yeah—yeah that would be great. I just want to know he’s okay.”

And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release

Nikolas Cassadine sipped his Scotch and stared at the roaring fire, the red and orange flames keeping his mind focused.

He knew that a woman named Lila Quartermaine had died, that she had been Emily’s grandmother. He’d found out that much from the newspapers. He had almost selfishly hoped it would make a memory flash in his head, it would create some emotion in his body.

But he was empty and the only thing he felt was the love for Mary, the woman who had lied to him.

He sipped the liquor and stared at the fire, wishing he knew how to rid himself of unwanted love.

Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty and weightless
And maybe I’ll find some peace tonight

AJ Quartermaine was separated from the rest of the family, stood in his own little corner and sipped iced tea. He’d left Lydia behind in their island paradise. She’d felt sympathy for him but he had not brought her along. She didn’t know his grandmother.

His grandmother had loved him, had forgiven him for stealing most of the family’s fortune. He felt no guilt for that. Hadn’t they made it anyway? And after all the hell they’d put him through, he had deserved a reward.

He only hoped he could get out of here unscathed.

He smiled at an old family friend, nodded at a girlfriend from high school and shifted uncomfortably. Port Charles held no warm memories.

In the arms of the angel
Far away from here

Sara Evans hummed along to the Buffy theme song as she worked on her math homework. Baby-sitting for Cameron Webber was the easiest gig she’d ever landed and all she’d had to do was drop a hint to the mother at Kelly’s that she was looking for a job.

All Cameron did was sleep. He woke every once in a while but he just wanted to be held and fed. Mrs. Lansing had left a bottle of milk for him and Sara figured it was a pretty good gig all in all.

She frowned when she glanced at the grandfather clock in the corner of Audrey Hardy’s living room. She picked up the white baby monitor and shook it to make sure it was working.

Cameron hadn’t cried in nearly an hour. Hadn’t fussed. Hadn’t made a sound.

From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear

Samantha McCall tapped her fingers against the window restlessly. She hated feeling locked in, hated knowing that her life was in jeopardy, that her past had caught up with her.

She should have left town. She never should have come in the first place.

She looked around the large penthouse and exhaled slowly. Jason was prowling around the pool table, playing a solo game, trying to work out his frustration. She understood that—knew that his grandmother’s funeral had been today.

She wondered briefly why he hadn’t gone but did not ask. It was none of her business.

You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie

Emily sipped her water and moved to stand next to her brother. “I’m glad you were able to make it,” she said softly.

“I’m glad you called to tell me,” AJ replied. “I’m sorry—for Nikolas. I heard about his death and then—his memory loss.”

“I’ve been through it before,” she murmured. “I thought losing Jason was hard but losing Nikolas—” she looked at her brother. “I can’t—I can’t do this. This is about Grandmother. Not me.”

“And she wanted you to be happy—”

“I’ve been selfish enough.” She shook her head. “I have to respect Nikolas’s wishes. He doesn’t want to be around me, can’t forgive me, all right. I can handle it. I’m a big girl, AJ.”

You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

Elizabeth stepped off the elevator and glanced at her watch. She wondered if she should have called Sara, told her she was making a stop before coming home.

But Sara had baby-sat on more than one occasion. She was capable and she was responsible. If anything were wrong, she would call.

She moved as quietly as possible to the doorway to Jason’s penthouse and knocked, surprised when a pregnant Sam answered the door.

Elizabeth blinked. “Is Jason here?”

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn

Sara took the steps too at a time and hurried into the nursery. Cameron lay on his back, his tiny little chest moving up and down. She sighed in relief and went to touch his forehead.

She yanked her hand back when she realized he was burning up. She whimpered. They so had not covered this in her baby-sitting class at the Y.

There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting

“Yeah, he’s here.” Sam stepped back. “Jase—Elizabeth Lansing is here.” She moved towards him. “You didn’t tell me you were friends with Ric’s wife,” she hissed.

“She’s not his wife anymore,” Jason murmured as he moved past the weirded out Sam and went to the door. “Elizabeth—”

“Could I come in?” Elizabeth asked. She cast an eye over her shoulder warily. “If Carly sees me, there’s no telling what’ll happen.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” He stepped aside and frowned at how different she looked since that last night at Kelly’s. She’d been about eight months pregnant, her hair had been different—everything about her had looked different.

“Emily was worried about you,” Elizabeth began but before she could get much further, her cell rang.

You keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack

Nikolas crossed to the mini bar to pour himself another glass of Scotch but stopped dead at the sight of Mary standing in his doorway. He glowered at her but she didn’t wince or back away.

She had guts; he could at least give her that.

“What do you want?” he spat.

“I came to talk about our options,” Mary said faintly. “Our marriage wasn’t technically legal as you’re not Connor Bishop but you do have things at the house and I—” she faltered and looked away. “I just—I wanted to try and make this right.”

“Yeah—well you can’t.”

It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness
Oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

Dillon Quartermaine kept one on his grandfather and the other on his mother as he approached his girlfriend Georgie Jones at the buffet table. “Thanks for coming,” he told her.

“Yeah, no problem.” She shrugged and looked at her feet. “How’s your grandfather doing? My mother said he must be devastated.”

“He hasn’t said anything since she died.” Dillon frowned into his glass of soda. “You don’t know how weird it is not to hear him yelling about something. And my mother hasn’t argued with anyone. No one really has. It’s spooky, Georgie. It’s like—you want them to stop fighting but when they do…you just want them to start again.”

“They’re just in shock,” Georgie tried to assure him.

“Yeah…but it’s like…they’ve lost the will to be a family—to butt into each other’s lives.” He shook his head. “I don’t know how to deal with the Quartermaines if they’re not pushy and offensive.”

In the arms of the angel
Far away from here

“Sara?” Elizabeth said, a little surprised. “Is Cam okay…What? Wait—did you take his temperature—Oh my God, okay, okay, no, honey don’t panic. Just call—you already called 911? Okay, okay, I’ll meet you in the ER.” She snapped her cell shut, her hands trembling. “I have—I have to go. My baby—he’s got a 102.4 fever a-and Sara can’t get him to wake up.”

She moved past Jason towards the door but just as she reached the doorway, her legs gave out and she would have sank to the ground if he hadn’t caught her. Sam hurried forward and pulled out the desk chair.

“Take deep breaths,” Jason cautioned her.

“I really—I have to go. Cameron needs me.” Her hands were shaking so hard that she clenched them into fists. “I have to go.”

“You shouldn’t drive,” Sam told her. “Jason—maybe you should take her. I could call Emily to meet you all there.”

“That’s a good idea.” Jason looked back at an extremely pale Elizabeth. “We’re going to go now, okay? I’m going to take you to the hospital. Can you walk?”

She nodded numbly and he helped her to her feet.

From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear

“Maybe I can’t,” Mary allowed. “But it doesn’t matter where you spent these last few weeks. You didn’t remember when you were with me, you didn’t remember when you made love to Emily and you don’t remember now. Nothing I’ve done has kept you from remembering and I think you blame me.”

He stared at her for a long moment before she broke the gaze and looked at the ground. “There’s nothing at your house that I want.”

Mary nodded. “Fine. But I gave you a name, I gave you someone to be when you had nothing. Maybe I shouldn’t have. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to fill the hole in my life with you. But I did. And you were happy.”

“I was living a lie,” Nikolas muttered.

“You were happy living a lie and now you’re back in your old life and you’re miserable,” Mary remarked. “Do you really think that this is an improvement? You don’t want to be around me, you don’t want to be around your family or anyone who loves you. Well, that’s fine. You can just be alone. I guess I’ll have to learn to do it again.”

“You were going to try to have a baby to keep me in your life,” Nikolas accused.

“Yes, I was and that made me realize how far I’ve gotten from reality.” Mary shrugged simply. “I’m starting grief counseling at the hospital. I’ve recognized my shortcomings, my problems and I’m looking for a solution. You’re just drinking yourself into oblivion.”

“What do you care, Mary?” Nikolas asked scathingly. “You’re nothing to me.”

The words had their desired effect and she looked away. “I accept that,” she whispered. “And it makes me glad. Because I love you. Not the man I tried to make you be, but I love you. And I can’t watch you destroy yourself.” She turned and disappeared down the hallway.

And he couldn’t decide if he was relieved or disappointed.

You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie

Emily slid her cell phone back into her purse and moved through the crowd to find Audrey. “Mrs. Hardy, I just spoke with Sam McCall. Elizabeth got a call while she was at the penthouse. Cam’s being rushed to the hospital.”

“Jesus,” Audrey murmured. She abruptly made her exit and Emily set out to find Lucky.

You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

A shaken and trembling Sara Evans was waiting for Elizabeth in the ER. “They brought Cameron into the back ten minutes ago and won’t tell me anything,” she said mournfully. “I was downstairs and I realized he hadn’t fussed or anything for a while so I went up to check on him—” She broke off. “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Lansing, I don’t know what I did wrong…”

“It’s all right,” Elizabeth said, trying to keep her voice strong. Her eyes were trained on the pink curtains separating her from her child. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Sara.”

“I’m so sorry,” Sara kept saying anyway and her crying was beginning to wear on Elizabeth’s control. Her lower lip started to tremble. Jason took Sara’s arm and gently led her away, asking her to give them a minute.

“Elizabeth, can I get you anything?” he asked softly.

“You can tell me Cam’s okay,” Elizabeth whispered fearfully, “and promise me that I’ll never lose him.”

He could but it might end up being a lie and Jason had recently decided he was going to stop doing stuff like that to make people feel better. “I think that the doctors here will do the best they can,” he said after a moment.

Elizabeth opened her mouth to reply but a doctor appeared from behind the curtain. “I’m looking for Cameron Webber’s family.”

“That’s me,” Elizabeth said softly and her heart began to pound as the doctor moved towards them.

You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

Song: Angel by Sarah McLachlan

November 7, 2014

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the About Crimson Glass

So I missed the tenth anniversary of the website in 2002, and then the twelfth. Haha, so while attempting to reconstruct some of the lost and abandoned stories, I was using the Internet Wayback Machine on a site where I know my fanfiction was hosted before much of it was lost and decided to go back about eleven years to visit the kind of writer I used to be. There aren’t many of us Liason writers left from the days 😛

Continue reading →

November 5, 2014

Remember, remember the fifth of November 😛 I miss living in England so much, even though I’m so happy to be home. My third niece was born on Monday — Mackenzie Margaret, born 2:43 PM, 8 lb 12 oz. Her poor mama 😛 Haha. I love being an aunt. You get to enjoy all the fun stuff and get enough of a taste of parenthood while baby sitting to know that, dude, not in your lifetime.

bestthingFirst things first, The Best Thing Chapter Nine was added today. I have Chapter 10 done, I just didn’t send it to Cora yet because I wanted to send Chapter 11 with it, and I still have two scenes left. I haven’t had a moment to really sit down and do those two–I’ve been sick and it took me a while to really bounce back from October, which I spent mostly hacking up my lungs. My plan is to finish drying my hair, finish my laundry and then sit in Barnes and Noble for as long as it takes to do the rest of Chapter 11 and today’s NaNoWriMo entry.

Which brings me to my next point. National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) started on Saturday. I’m going to do it this year, mostly because I usually had a shitty excuse before (busy with school, etc) but I got nothing going on this time.  The objective is to write 50,000 words in a month, I’m at just under 6000, which is about where you want to be. I’m actually doing a version of Tangle, haha, taking the disapearance of a mother as my starting point. I tell this to you because  the more you tell people, the more likely you are to finish it. So…be prepared for this site to be like my writing blog, haha.

Third, Damaged. I’m working on a format change that will allow me to update it more often and more easily. I’m just in the beginning stages, damagedbut will have more for you on that.

Next, my ebook project. It slowled down a bit while I hacked up my lung and I have to reset the release dates, but I’ll get them done eventually.

And lastly, the Fiction Graveyard stories are coming soon. I’m putting them together, and going to post them one at a time so it’ll be regular updates.  So…that’s where we are.

This entry is part 9 of 34 in the The Best Thing

All my senses come to life
While I’m stumbling home as drunk as I
Have ever been and I’ll never leave again
‘Cause you are the only one
And all my friends have gone to find
Another place to let their hearts collide
Just promise me, you’ll always be a friend
‘Cause you are the only one
– One, Ed Sheeran

 

Saturday, April 9, 2005

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

When Jason pulled open the door that morning, he grimaced without thinking. When Carly scowled at him, he shook his head. “Sorry. I thought you might be—”

“Someone you like?” she all but snarled as she pushed past him into the penthouse. At the sofa, she whirled around to face him, planting a hand on her hip. “Like that twit Elizabeth?”

Behind his eyes, Jason felt a dull throb begin, but took a deep breath. Once, Carly had been his best friend. He had done a lot to protect her, to take care of her.

In this moment, with the mixture of misery and annoyance flashing in her dark eyes, he wondered if he had just let her crash and burn just once, she’d be a different person. If he hadn’t stood by her when Tony and AJ were on her heels, if he hadn’t blackmailed AJ into giving her custody of Michael, if he had just let her fall flat on her face…

Would she be looking at him this way? As if he was the only one who could fix her problems? As if it were his job, his obligation to fix her life?

He had no one to blame but himself.

“Is there something you need?” Jason asked, glancing towards the stairs, wondering if Nora would remember his instructions. If she heard Carly downstairs, she should keep herself and Evie out of the line of fire. Carly had a way of turning most situations around to Sam when she found herself riled up. She never used the other woman’s names, just a series of colorful epithets most in Port Charles had once—and still might—direct Carly’s way.

She huffed. “Sorry. I don’t…mean to insult her,” she began. The back of Jason’s neck prickled because she was using that conciliatory tone he knew all too well. She had annoyed him and needed to sweeten him up for the kill. “I just…wish you had different taste in women, but I suppose I should learn to fight the battles I can win.”

That would be a cold day in hell, and they both knew it. Forcing his fists to unclench at his sides, he nodded. “Fine. What’s up, Carly?”

“I never see you anymore,” she complained, leaning against the arm of the sofa and pursing her lips into a pout. “God. I thought with Courtney abandoning me for New York, you wouldn’t pick sides. I know you blame me—”

“I don’t blame you. I don’t…” He tilted his head to the ceiling and took another deep breath. Patience. Eventually he would discover why Carly was here. “I’m not avoiding you, Carly. I just…have my own stuff.”

She narrowed her eyes, and he could see the calculation in her eyes. His blood chilled. If Carly was holding herself back from making a nasty comment about the mother of his child, if she had controlled her impulses, then she had a plan.

God help the world if Carly had a plan.

“I know.” She sighed and looked away. Towards the stairs. “I-I’m glad you let Emily find you someone to help. You…were looking tired. I told Sonny to knock it off, that punishing you wasn’t making anything better, but you know when he gets in a mood…” She rolled her shoulders. “And…you know he’s been in that mood for a while.”

“I know.” Jason folded his arms across his chest. “It comes and goes, but it’s not staying away.”

“No. I mean, he’s trying hard to control it, but I don’t think it’s really something that he can…you know…control.” She twisted her fingers together. “I’ve been trying so hard to keep him steady. Concentrating on the boys, you know. So he’s not thinking about you. Here. With Evie.” Carly blinked. “So he doesn’t remember Sam.”

And for the first time, Jason saw something odd flash in her eyes when she spoke of Evie and Sam. Did she suspect? Could she know? “I don’t think you’re going to get him to forget her entirely,” he said carefully. “Like you don’t forget Alcazar.”

“Well the difference with that is I want to.” She straightened. “I’m trying like hell to look forward, Jason. To make Sonny remember that he left her and came back to me. To the boys. I put Alcazar behind me. Why the hell can’t he?”

“I-I don’t know the answer to that.” His mouth felt dry, almost sour. He had never told her of the second affair, had known it would blow the boys’ world apart when it was just being pieced back together. But he knew Sonny had still been drawn to Sam. Had led the other woman on. Had broken her heart all over again.

And Sonny felt betrayed by her. By Jason.

Nothing ate at the core of Sonny Corinthos like betrayal, even if it had been accidental. Even if, in Sam’s case, it had been deserved.

“I really hoped that time would do it, you know.” She shook her head. “I thought that with Sam dead, it would just fade away. Like it never happened. But it’s not. And I’m at the end of my rope, Jason. Sonny is teetering out of control. Maybe he’s okay today. And he’ll be all right next week. But you understand that it’s not going to last.”

“Yeah.” And in the hollow pit of his stomach, he knew this brief moment of calm would end. At the moment Sonny was in control. He knew why they were embarking on this deception, that to preserve the sanity and peace of Michael and Morgan, Evie would remain with Jason. But would Sonny always know that? Always believe things were better this way?

“I have to protect my boys, Jason. They are everything to me. And protecting them means doing what’s best for Sonny.” She looked at him, met his eyes dead on. “And sometimes what’s best for Sonny isn’t what’s best for everyone else.”

And that something odd flashed again. Was Carly telling him she knew? That she had allowed the lie to stand because it was best for her family?

That she no longer believed that?

If Carly knew, then would Sonny come for Evie?

“I suppose you have to do what’s right for you, Carly.” In his ear, he heard Elizabeth’s voice again. When does Evie’s best interests come into it? “And I’ll do what’s right for me and my daughter.”

Her eyes narrowed slightly and then her features smoothed out. “You and Evie are part of my family, Jason. I love you and I want to do what’s best for all of us. I know we can make it happen if we both want it enough.”

He stepped aside then, as if to tell her to it was time to leave. “I’ll see you later, Carly.”

She opened her mouth, but apparently changed her mind. “Don’t be a stranger, Jase.” She pulled open the door and turned back to him. “It’s in our best interests if we keep communication open between us. I’m sure you know what I mean.”

Jason closed the door behind her and leaned his forehead against it. Unfortunately, he had a feeling he knew exactly what she meant.

Hardy Home: Living Room

Elizabeth planted one hand on her hip and eyed the disaster scene of her grandmother’s living room. Despite her efforts in the last three months or so since their things had arrived from California, the house still felt cramped. Overcrowded.

At her side, Audrey sighed and shifted Cameron higher on her hip. “I’m sure his sneakers are here.” She bit her lip. “Somewhere.”

“We need our own space,” Elizabeth murmured. “There’s…just not enough room in my old room or his room for what used to be in our apartment.” She glanced at her grandmother. “Not that I don’t really appreciate your generosity—”

“But you were setting up a life there,” Audrey finished, handing Cameron his pacifier. “I suppose I could try to pack up a few of my things—”

“Gram…” Elizabeth shook her head and moved forward, reaching for a stack of Cameron’s winter clothing that she had intended to store in the basement now that the weather was starting to turn. “I’ve looked at a few apartments. Lofts. Even houses. Nothing…feels right.”

“Perhaps because you know it may be temporary,” her grandmother responded. Cameron giggled as she lightly danced her fingers of his belly.

Elizabeth turned, one of Cameron’s old onesies in her hands. “Why would it be temporary?”

“Well, unless you find something large enough for all of you…” Audrey trailed off with an impish smile and sparkle in her eye. “Unless you intend Cam and Evie to share a room for a while.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and turned back to her search for the elusive sneakers. “Is there some sort of club I don’t know about? Emily promised she would lay off, but still manages to sneak some comments every time we have lunch, Nikolas gives me these smiles as if to say he approves and totally wouldn’t embarrass me in front of a crowd, Steven wants to know when he gets to interrogate Jason…” She huffed and tugged the sneakers from underneath a laundry basket. “Honestly, Gram. It’s…not like that.”

“I’m not suggesting the two of you plan to move in together next week or even the next few months.” Audrey lowered herself onto the sofa and set Cameron in front of her, watching him with a bright smile as he pulled himself up using the coffee table, wobbling on his chubby legs. “But the people who love you are not blind.”

Elizabeth knelt in front of Cameron, holding her hands out to tempt him to take a few steps towards her. “Gram, even if…things are changing between us, I just don’t think…” She met her grandmother’s eyes. “Yes…there are…indications we’re going down a certain path, but we’re both…” She lifted her shoulders. “Apprehensive.”

“And it’s natural, my darling.” Audrey picked up a discarded stuffed animal and smoothed her fingers over the soft fur. “You are both newly divorced, single parents to children you never expected to have…you’re both wise to be cautious. Even to take it slow.”

Elizabeth lifted an eyebrow, knowing her grandmother wasn’t done. “But?”

“But life is short, Elizabeth.” Audrey looked at the mantel, at the wedding photo of herself and Steve more than twenty years ago. “The time your grandfather and I wasted…we never had a child of our own. He took Tommy into his heart and I accepted your father though he was already an adult.”

“But you wish things had been different,” Elizabeth said with a sigh. “That you had had more children.”

“I do, though bless your father, he allowed me the gift of raising you.”

Elizabeth smirked and held up her cell phone, knowing Cameron had a penchant for electronics. “You didn’t always think that way.” Audrey chuckled as Elizabeth continued. “Gram, I do…see what you’re saying. I promised myself during therapy that I wouldn’t lie to myself anymore, even if it made things easier in the moment. It always had bad consequences, and I’m not going to do it. So yes, I care very much for Jason. Yes, he and I have taken rides. We’ve talked. I do see that things are changing, and I’m…not adverse to it. It’s just…there are complications.”

“You’re referring to Sonny and Carly.” Cameron plopped to ground, uninterested in taking his first step this day and chewed on the ear of a stuffed rabbit. “And the situation with Evie.”

“Yes,” Elizabeth admitted. “Though I guess it’s ridiculous to pretend that would weigh on my decision to move forward. She’s a gorgeous little girl that I love spending time with. Even if Jason and I aren’t…seeing one another, his situation would still affect me. Because we’re friends. Because it would affect Emily. I just…wonder…”

“What?” Audrey prompted when she fell silent.

“I know Sonny is…having these odd mood swings,” Elizabeth admitted. “And I can’t say much else because it would betray a confidence, but I also know that I tend to set him off sometimes. When he sees me with Jason and Evie. As if…it bothers him. If I become more involved, if Jason and I…do start really seeing one another…what if it that’s the reason Sonny decides to go after Evie?”

“What would Jason do if Sonny did?” Audrey asked. “Would he sign over custody?”

“I…” Elizabeth hesitated. “I’d like to think no. That he sees what the rest of the world see—there’s a reason Sam went through all those hoops to protect her daughter. I can even relate in a way. I tried to keep Zander away from Cameron because I was so…scared of how his life was falling apart, the violence in him.” Troubled, she dangled a plastic set of car keys at Cameron who giggled and reached for them. “At least Zander didn’t have this other family, didn’t try to make me feel like trash.”

“Do you think Jason’s loyalty will win out?” her grandmother asked.

“I honestly don’t know what Jason would do if he were forced to make a choice.” Elizabeth sighed. “And I don’t think he knows either.”

Monday, April 18, 2005

Kelly’s Diner: Dining Room

Emily slumped into her chair and sighed. “That’s the fourth house we’ve looked at this week, Jase. Why do you even bring me along? It’s not like you’ll suddenly start liking anything I suggest.”

Jason ignored her rant as he settled Evie into the high chair. “I have to take our security seriously, Em.”

“I get that, but I really think you’re asking the wrong person. I thought the house this morning was nice.” She ordered a burger, fries and milk shake from Georgie and considered her brother as he put in his own order. “It had four bedrooms, a nice large room in the back, and a garage for the bike. What else do you need?”

Jason narrowed his eyes. “Why do I need four bedrooms and…” He dipped his head for a moment before meeting her eyes, his exasperation clear. “Emily.”

“Jason.” Emily leaned forward, barely noticing as Georgie set her milkshake and his black coffee on the table. “I’m friends with Elizabeth. There are things I can pry out of her that you will not tell me.”

He hesitated, and Emily knew she had peaked his interest. Jason cleared his throat and looked to Evie, who gurgled and smushed a cereal puff in her mouth. “Emily—”

“I shouldn’t tell you anything.” She leaned back and sipped the milkshake. “I should let you flounder in darkness, but I figure I should cut you a break. And honestly, it’s not much. She mentioned running into you last month after she sold that one painting. You drove her home after a long talk.” When her brother just stared at her, Emily continued. “And that said drive has been repeated on more than one occasion. Like…six occasions.”

The muscles around his mouth tightened. “Emily,” he said again.

“I mean that’s like seven dates.” Emily opened her eyes wide. “In a month. An average of almost two a week. I’d say that’s something—”

“Emily—”

“And really, she looked so happy when we talked about it—”

“I don’t think—”

“I like Elizabeth being happy,” Emily mused as if her brother wasn’t speaking at all. “She’s finally making a living with her art, she has this fantastic son, her family is around her, and now her love life is picking up—”

Jason pinched the bridge of his nose, looking pained. “Emily—”

“I know you’re holding back because of your situation,” she said. “Caution is good, especially since Sonny all but foams at the mouth when he sees Elizabeth—”

Jason frowned and held up a hand. “Wait…have you seen Sonny around Elizabeth without me?” he asked.

“Um…” Shoot. Big mouth. “Just…like twice. We were in the courtyard about two weeks ago, and he was coming in with Michael. He just…gave us this weird, dirty look. We ignored him. And over the weekend, Elizabeth brought Cam in for a doctor’s appointment and I guess Sonny was there with Carly and Morgan. Carly may have said something about children of bastards, to which I may replied something about whores and glasses houses—”

Her brother just sighed and leaned back. “I wish you wouldn’t—”

“No one is going to talk about my godson that way.” Emily jabbed a finger at him. “Anyway. It looked like Sonny was going to shut Carly up, but then…I don’t know, Jase, he just…flipped.” She snapped her fingers. “Like that. He accused Elizabeth of scamming you. Of knowing you were vulnerable because of Evie and moving in on you, just like she did when you got shot a few years ago—”

“Christ.” He tilted his head back and took a deep breath. “He…he’s been better lately. Almost in control. I’d hoped…that’s why I started looking for another place. I thought Sonny would be ready to accept things, and that it would better for Evie to be away from…all of it.”

“Well….” Emily drawled. “I don’t know, Jase. Maybe he really can’t control it. Have you ever talked to him about getting help?”

Jason shook his head. “No. He wouldn’t go, so it’s a waste of time. It’s a weakness he doesn’t think he can afford.” He grimaced. “I just don’t want Elizabeth to deal with it.”

“She mostly ignored him. If that’s why you’re holding back,” Emily said, “then that’s just dumb. It has nothing to do with either one of you. Not really.” She leaned forward. “Listen. This stuff with Sonny cannot go on forever. It’ll have to be resolved one way or another. I’d hate to see you pass on a chance at real happiness because you’re trying to save Elizabeth grief in the moment.”

Her brother looked down and took a deep breath. “Emily—”

“I don’t want to be bossy and opinionated, or God, even a nag. I don’t want to push you into anything that isn’t right for you. Please believe me, Jason, when I say that all I want is for you to be happy.” Emily bit her lip. “And I don’t know if you even think you have a right to be happy. Are you trying to punish yourself for Evie?”

“No.” Jason shook his head. “No.” He looked away. “My life…isn’t…relationships don’t work—”

Emily snorted. “Pfft. You just haven’t been with the right woman at the right time. Two years ago? You and Elizabeth were clearly not ready to make the sacrifices needed. She is now. She wasn’t ready for anything strong then. You know that—she was all up in her head about not deserving things and then running around trying to find someone she could save. She’d be the first person to tell you that it wasn’t the right time.”

She blew out a breath, but realized Jason was actually listening to her this time. “And Jase? Two years ago you didn’t trust her to stay. So you went away first. You went and found someone who loved and adored you like a puppy. But Courtney wasn’t right either. You know it’s different this time. I can see it. Every time you’re in a room together, the whole world goes away and you could practically power the city’s electrical grid with the sparks that fly.” She leaned forward. “Maybe it won’t be easy. Maybe it won’t be forever, but God, Jason, you owe it to yourself to find out. You owe it to Evie, because she deserves a happy father who just doesn’t live for her.”

She hesitated again. “And maybe you even owe it to the people who love you. Grandmother watched you beat yourself against the wall every day since your accident, hoping you would find something, someone, that was worthy of you. She remembered when Grandfather blackmailed you when Elizabeth had been kidnapped. She wanted you to be happy. Don’t let her down.”

“I…” He glanced down at his watch. “I’m meeting Elizabeth and Cameron in the park,” he said after a moment. “I’m not going to lie to you, Emily, or insult your intelligence. I have…” He stopped, and she just waited, knowing he hated to open up, hated to reveal anything inside of him. “I have cared for Elizabeth for years, and yeah, maybe it’s different this time. I just…our friendship was sacrificed once before—”

“No, it wasn’t, but I know what you mean.” Emily nodded. “I get it. You’ll do it in your own time, but just don’t look away from it. Love is worth fighting for.”

Jason tossed some cash on the table and unlocked Evie from the high chair. “I’ll think about it, Emily.”

Port Charles Park

Elizabeth had just settled Cameron on a blanket filled with his toys when Jason turned the corner with Evie in a coach. She grinned—the sight of the mob’s toughest enforcer pushing a candy pink baby carriage would never get old. She’d asked him why he didn’t replace with it a different color and he’d just stared at her.

What does the color have to do with anything?

Jason was nothing if not literal. What would she do without him and his deadpan, logic in her life?

She never wanted to find out again.

“Hey, you.” Elizabeth stood, and taking a chance, pressed a kiss to his cheek. He blinked at her for a second and then looked away. If she didn’t know him better, she’d think he was blushing.

He turned to the guard that had accompanied him, instructing him to stand by the entrance to the path. Once he was gone, Jason turned back to her while lifting Evie from the carriage. “Sorry, I just—”

“I’ve noticed since becoming a parent,” Elizabeth began casually, “that I distrust most of the known world. I think everyone is a suspect, a criminal just waiting to snatch up my little boy.” She arched an eyebrow. “You think it bothers me that you’ve got a guard on Evie? I’m not sure I wouldn’t hire a bodyguard for my kid if given the chance.”

Jason released a surprised chuckle as he set Evie on the blanket. The two children blinked at one another, Cameron smiled before offering a block. Evie took it and immediately shoved it in her mouth.

“Ah, friendship,” Elizabeth said, satisfied. She tugged on Jason’s leather jacket sleeve to draw him back several feet to the picnic bench. “They’ll be fine, though I’ll occasionally have to discourage Cameron from wandering too far from the blanket.”

“Evie’s trying to crawl,” Jason told her. “But it’s not going well. She gets on her stomach, even lifts herself up. Sometimes she goes backwards, but it’s going forward that’s taking a while.” His mouth stretched into a smile. “But mostly she ends up on her back, frustrated.”

Elizabeth laughed. “I know exactly what you mean—Cameron did that for almost two weeks before I must have blinked and zoom he was off and, well…” She pursed her lips. “Not running exactly, but he might have if he could figure it out.” She drew her leg up on the bench so she could turn to face him, propping her elbow on the table and resting her chin in her palm. “So, you were meeting with Em and the realtor today?”

Jason sighed and leaned back, his eyes on the kids. “Yeah. But we didn’t see anything that worked.”

“I know what you mean,” Elizabeth replied. “The house is so crowded with all our stuff, but nothing feels right.” She shrugged, not wanting to go further and remember the rest of her conversation with her grandmother. “Anyway, is there a rush?”

“No.” Jason hesitated and glanced at her before returning his attention to the kids. “It might make things worse in the end. I thought things with Sonny were better, but…Emily said something—”

“Oh.” Elizabeth huffed. “She probably made it sound worse than it was. Jason, seriously…” She touched his arm so he’d look at him for a moment. “Carly and I will never be friends. Never. I could literally push her out of the way of speeding train and she’d snark at me about ripping her outfit. As for Sonny…” Troubled, she studied Cameron for a long moment, remembering the Christmas Party and the way Sonny had spoken about her first child, the little soul that had never been given the chance to grow.

“I grieve for loss of the friendship he and I once had,” she murmured. “But I suppose with Ric, with the way I acted when Carly was missing, I don’t blame either of them for not being kindly disposed towards me—”

“Elizabeth, he didn’t blame you then.” Jason leaned forward. “He never blamed you. He knew you were…that Ric had manipulated you. And then once you were in the hospital, he was just worried. When you woke up, you went the police. You tried to help Carly. She knew that then.”

“But then I remarried—’ She stopped. “No. No, I’m not going back to the time. I’ve…made my peace with my choices. With my mistakes. If Sonny still holds it against me—”

“He just…” Jason exhaled slowly. “This situation with Evie is eating at him. I don’t think it’s ever going to get better.”

“I’m so sorry,” she murmured, taking one of his hand in both of hers. “I just…my heart breaks for what you’re going through. I wish I could have done something when it would have made a difference.”

Jason shook his head, watching as Evie scooted backwards, reaching the edge of the blanket. “I’m just…trying to do what Sam would have wanted. She wanted me to love Evie as my own, the way she didn’t trust Sonny to.” He hesitated. “And I know that if Sonny and Carly had Evie, they would raise her to forget Sam. Maybe they wouldn’t ever tell Evie about her mother, and Sam deserved better than that.”

“I know. She sacrificed so much for her daughter, she deserves to be a presence in Evie’s life, even if it’s just a memory.” She sighed. “And things with Carly aren’t getting better?”

“No.” Jason paused. “They’re…I think she knows, Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth frowned and straightened her shoulders. “What do you mean she knows?” Her fingers tightened in his. “About Evie?”

“It’s just…something she said a few weeks ago. It makes…I think she knows and she’s keeping it herself.”

A tingle shot down her spine, a foreboding chill seeped into her bones. If Carly was keeping a secret, then it meant… “You think she has a plan. That if she’s keeping the secret, it’s because it works for her right now.”

“And maybe it won’t forever,” Jason confirmed. He slowly disentangled their hands so he could put Evie back into a seated position, as the six month old had ended up on her back, waving her arms and wailing. Immediately, the infant grinned at her father and picked up a toy boat to chew on.

Once he sat back down, Elizabeth continued. “Carly’s plans never work out for you.”

“No.” He looked away, where the park opened up to the lake and gazebo. “No, they usually destroy my life.”

“Jason, have you thought of addressing it to Sonny? Telling him what you suspect?” Her chest ached, her ears were buzzing. She could see the misery in his eyes, could see he felt as though he were at the edge of precipice—that he might end up the way he had five years earlier, lying, bleeding, and broken in the snow waiting for death to claim him.

“If I did…he might take her,” Jason confessed in a low voice. She leaned forward, straining to hear him. “And if he wanted her, what would I say to him? No, Sonny, you can’t have your own daughter—”

“Jason, it’s not like you to stick your head in the sand,” Elizabeth said. “You’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop—”

“What else should I do?” he asked, meeting her eyes. “That’s what I did with Michael. That’s all I could do with him—”

“It’s different now,” she argued. “AJ didn’t know what was going on. You were perpetuating this huge lie to everyone—but you know that no one really believes Evie is your daughter, including the woman you were trying to lie to the most. Jason, you have legal custody of her. You’d have to sign it over to Sonny.”

“I know. Diane and I spoke about it—” He hesitated and eyed her. “You think I should refuse to relinquish guardianship. That I should tell Sonny no.”

“I…” Elizabeth closed her mouth for a moment. “It would be so easy to suggest that,” she admitted. “But…I don’t know, Jason. I know that if it were just about Evie, then yes. You are absolutely the better father. You would be what’s best for her. But, I know that sort of decision would just…complicate the rest of it. Your job.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “I guess…there are no easy answers here.”

“No. No there’s not.” Sighing, Jason once again rescued his daughter from her turtle-like position, placing her back on the blanket. “Right now, it’s an uneasy silence. Acceptance of the situation. If I can just hold it together until Sonny can pull himself back from the edge, I can talk about it rationally. He’s not happy with Carly, he’s afraid to divorce her. If…he did that, maybe it would easier for him to raise Evie.”

“And you’re still left out in the cold,” Elizabeth told him, aggrieved. “How is that fair?”

“How else is this supposed to end?” Jason asked her. “Do you see a way for me to raise Evie without things blowing up with Sonny and Carly?”

“I…” She sighed and shook her head. “No. I guess your plan is the best. I’m…just frustrated, Jason. I want so much more for you, but you know better than me how the fallout will affect you. I just…I hate to see you hurting. To see you distanced from Sonny, unable to really enjoy this wonderful little girl.”

Because she loved him so much that seeing the pain and misery in his eyes caused her stomach to roll and her chest to ache.

Sighing, she looked away, back at her son. She always ended up right back in this moment, in love with this man whose life was so complicated, he was usually unable to make time for something more.

Why should this time be any different?