August 9, 2022

I had the posts started for Flash Fiction today but um, I can’t right now. At 9:25, I found out my best friend died from cancer. It was sudden. The symptoms just hit and she was in the hospital and intubated before her family started telling friends. I only found out Sunday night, and then she died last night at 2:58.

We went to college together. We traveled. We did insane and crazy things that we shouldn’t have survived. She was in London for grad school with me. And now she’s gone. And I can’t even process it.

I usually bury myself in work at times like these. It’s the only thing that really distracts me. So I’ll probably keep my schedule for the most part. I don’t know. I guess we’ll see.

Um, Mad World is mostly already scheduled so that goes forward. A new chapter went up today. The world is just a suckier place right now, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this.

This is a picture of Lauren and me in Prague in 2013. She was unapologetic history nerd, and we were standing at the window where the defenestration of Prague happened, kicking off the Thirty Years War. There might no one else in the world except for the two of us that were more excited to take a photo there.

I’m going to miss her for the rest of my life.

This entry is part 33 of 41 in the Mad World: Liberty

There’s not enough rope to tie me down
There’s not enough tape to shut this mouth
The stones you throw can make me bleed
But I won’t stop until we’re free
Wild hearts can’t be broken
No, wild hearts can’t be broken

Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken, P!nk


Wednesday, April 30, 2004

Corinthos & Morgan Warehouse: Office

Jason closed the door behind him, then turned to Justus and Bernie. “It’s been almost two months since Cameron was born,” he said, then took a minute to let that information sink in because sometimes it felt like he was still standing outside the trauma room, waiting to hear if his wife and son would live or die.

“Okay,” Justus said when Jason didn’t continue. “And things have been mostly quiet which is good. Things are getting back to normal.” He tipped his head. “Aren’t they?”

“As far as I know.” Even if the bear was still poking at his brain, Jason hadn’t found a single reason to be sure that it was more than a coincidence. “How many people know what Cody did?”

“Cody?” Bernie repeated. “Uh, well, the three of us and Elizabeth, but I don’t think it really went further than that. Most of the guys think Cody got reassigned because he let Sonny get that close to Elizabeth.”

“What’s going on?” Justus asked. “Are you thinking of putting him on Elizabeth again?”

“Not just thinking about it. I called him back from Puerto Rico.” He sat down behind the desk and told them about the stairwell. “Elizabeth stayed home yesterday,” he said, “and I told Richie she’d be home again today but then I had Marco stay with her. She likes Marco and he’s been trustworthy—”

“Why not keep Marco on her, then?” Bernie wanted to know. “Cody’s a security risk—”

“Not to Elizabeth, he’s not,” Justus said and Jason nodded. “He did the wrong thing for the right reasons, and we were all looking for a way out. If you’d told him how sick she was, he never would have taken that risk. I think we can agree on that. But still—why not Marco?”

“He’s got a kid,” Jason told them, “and he asked us from the start to work nights. He wants to be at home so his mom doesn’t do all the work. He stays with us for the paycheck. He did me a favor until I promoted Richie, and he’s doing me another one right now. But it can’t be permanent.”

“Fair enough. Still—”

“I need someone Elizabeth feels safe with. The safer she feels, the more she trusts her guard, the better off she’ll be. I was going to do this no matter what you said,” he told them. “But I’m glad that what happened with Cody never got out. It’ll be easier.”

“It’s your risk to take,” Justus said with a shrug. “You know that I was on Cody’s side for the most part, but if it gets out that Cody turned and not only lived to tell the tale but got to keep his plush assignment guarding the boss’s wife, there’s going to be hell to pay.”

Remembering the flush of shame in Elizabeth’s cheeks, and the discomfort she’d shown a few days earlier, Jason just nodded. “I’ll deal with that if I have to. It’s worth the risk.”

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Taggert checked his watch for the third time since sitting down and across the table, Portia arched her brows. “Marcus, you look at that thing one more time, I’m gonna choke with you it.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He focused on her and smiled. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, more genuinely. “I know I’ve been busy—”

“You’re just lucky you’re cute,” she murmured, lifting her coffee cup. “What’s so important about this case, anyway?” Portia asked. “I know it’s your ADA’s dad, but it’s a cold case, isn’t it? Aren’t you just talking to people?”

“Normally, but I’m—” Taggert hesitated. “It’s not just who the victim was,” he admitted. “I’ve been going over every step a thousand times, making sure all the paperwork is right, that I’m documenting everything—”

“Why?” she pressed. “I mean, I’m glad you’re doing the job right, but you usually do—”

He pushed his food around on his plate, wondering whether or not he should explain that he’d been obsessed with Sonny Corinthos to the point he’d nearly gotten two women killed. Was there ever a good time to bring that up?

“I told you I started in the NYPD, didn’t I? In Brooklyn.”

“You did. That’s where you grew up, right?”

“Yeah, in Bed-Stuy. It was just me, my sister, and my mom for the longest time.” He paused. “You’d like my sister, Gia. She’s in law school in the city.” Taggert sipped his coffee, then set down the cup. “I joined the department in 1992, but it might as well as have been 1972.”

“92?” Portia’s brows lifted. “You were only twenty?”

“Did two years at city college like I promised my mom, but I always knew I wanted to be a cop. I wanted to make a difference.” Taggert grimaced, looked away. “It was tough those first few years, but I made it happen. I kept at it, and I didn’t let any of those assholes stop me.”

“What does that have to do with this case?” Portia folded her arms on the table and tipped her head to the side. “I thought the vic was from here—”

“He was, but—I’m sorry. I’m—I’m not doing this right.”

“Don’t worry.” She smiled at him, reached across the table to squeeze his hand. “Just tell me.”

“I was going the wrong way back when I was a kid. When I was fourteen, I almost ended up in a street gang. My mother was so sure I’d end up no good like my father. Then I got hauled in on a vandalism charge—” He snorted. “It wasn’t me, but it could have been. I’d tagged so many damn cars and walls in that neighborhood, I figured they’d grabbed me when they had the chance.”

He rubbed his jaw. “It was a tough time to be a Black kid in New York,” he admitted. “It was 1986, a few years before those kids got arrested for that rape in Central Park.”

“The boys that just got released last year? Did you know any of them?” she asked.

“No, they weren’t from my neighborhood. But I knew kids like them. Kids that were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I hated the cops.” Taggert sighed. “But the guy who pulled me in that night believed me when I told him I didn’t do it. He believed my mom, too, when she gave me the alibi. Ma never would have lied for me, but you know—most of the dicks never believed her.”

“But this guy did.”

“He saw my mom as someone whose word could be trusted. You know what that was like?” Taggert asked her. “For a guy like that to look at me, and take me at my word? He went to bat for me with the other cops, and I got released.”

“One of the rare ones.”

“Yeah. He kept in touch after that. He was married, and his wife came over a few times with him. She was really nice. She had a kid—he was older than me and out on the streets. Deke took an interest in me—took me to ball games, irritated me about school. I became a cop because of him.”

“What happened to him?” Portia said softly, but in her eyes—she could see that he knew.

“The kid—the stepson?” Taggert said. “When I say he was out on the streets, I mean he ran with Joe Scully’s crew. I didn’t know much about him then—Scully worked out of Bensonhurst and we had our own problems in my neighborhood.”

“Marcus—”

“The kid had him killed. Had Joe Scully put a bullet in his brain.”

Portia inhaled sharply. “What? Why?”

“Because he hated him. Hated cops.” Taggert met her eyes. “That kid grew up to be Sonny Corinthos. My mentor—the reason I got off the streets—he was Sonny’s stepfather, Deke Woods.”

Taggert’s mouth twisted as he continued. “People forget what garbage Sonny was back then. He ran drugs and women in Port Charles. He did it in New York, too. He beat his mother when Deke wasn’t looking. He killed her, but Deke said they couldn’t prove it—”

Portia’s eyes widened. “Oh my God—”

“After Deke died, I knew I had to become a cop. I had to join the force and make sure Sonny paid for everything—” He sat back. “I moved to Port Charles to take him on. For seven years, he was all I could think about.”

“But you transferred out of Organized Crimes,” Portia said. She shook her head. “And…you went to the wedding. He—he was Jason Morgan’s best man, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah, well, since he took over for Frank Smith, Sonny’s been trying to pretend he’s some sort of honorable criminal. He doesn’t run drugs or women, and he’s got money now. I couldn’t nail him—” He hesitated. “Carly’s kidnapping last year. The Lansing case. I got tunnel vision. I thought I played it right, and the record reads like I did—but I know better. I know that I saw my chance to get him, and I almost got Elizabeth and Carly got killed.”

He sipped his coffee. “Letting go of this thing with Sonny—I had to. Or I was gonna have to give up the job. But this case…”

“You said it was related to the mob. Is Sonny a suspect?”

“Yeah. The main suspect. I just—I don’t have any direct evidence, just rumors. Part of me wonders if I just want it to be him.” He looked at her. “What if I’m focusing on Sonny because of that? Because of my past with him?”

Taggert leaned back in his chair, shook his head. “No, I got too much going for me. I’m doing good work at the PCPD. Those kids—” He glanced at the kitchen. Dante wasn’t working today, but he’d let him down somehow. “The rookies. I owe it to them to be better than I was. And you. I got you, and we’ve got a kid coming—”

“You think you’re getting obsessed with Sonny Corinthos again?” Portia asked. “Marcus.”

“I don’t know. I thought about passing the case,” he admitted. “After I talked to Luke Spencer—after I realized what I was getting into—” He broke off abruptly.

“This man broke into the Brownstone, attacked his ex-wife and her brother. He punched you. And you offered to drop the charges to make Carly’s life easier.” Portia arched her brows. “Would you have done that even a year ago?”

“No,” Taggert said, after considering the question. “I just—”

“The fact that you’re worrying about it? Thinking about passing the case? ” Portia leaned forward. “That’s not a man obsessed with anything other than doing the right thing.”

Taggert smiled at her, feeling lighter. She was right, of course, and now he was glad he’d talked to her about it. “Thanks.”

“I have to run,” Portia said, getting to her feet. “But it’s gonna be one of those days.” He stood and kissed her. “Call me tonight. We’ll get dinner when I close.”

“Count on it.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Bobbie sighed happily as she strolled around the living room while Cameron dozed in her arms. “I just love having another grandbaby to spoil,” she told Carly and Elizabeth who were sitting on the sofa. “I can’t wait until he’s old enough to run around with Morgan and Michael.”

Morgan still isn’t old enough to do that,” Carly reminded her mother, then looked at Elizabeth. “I didn’t see Richie outside today.”

“No. You were right. I told Jason, and he immediately volunteered to change the guards. I feel bad because Richie didn’t really do anything wrong—” Elizabeth grimaced, then looked at Bobbie. “Did Carly tell you about Monday?”

“She mentioned it, but didn’t get into the details. Something about the lights and a panic attack.”

“Her guard thought she was crazy, or at least made Elizabeth feel crazy,” Carly told Bobbie. “So Marco’s on days?”

“For a bit. Jason’s going to get me another guard, I guess. I don’t know. I feel stupid because it’s not like Ric was even there.” She sighed and checked her watch. It was almost time for Cameron’s next bottle. “I don’t know why it can’t just be over,” she murmured. “He’s dead. It should be over.”

“I know.”

“And the crypt—God, why am I having panic attacks after almost two years?” Elizabeth demanded. “It doesn’t seem fair.”

“I wish I could say that you’ll get over it for good,” Bobbie said as she sat down in the armchair. Carly rose to go check on Morgan, napping in the portable crib. “But you know better than that.”

“I know. The rape came back and slapped me around again, didn’t it?” Elizabeth grimaced. “It’s like, I resolve one thing, and then the next one comes around. I’m just—I’m exhausted. From not sleeping because of Cameron, and then worrying all the time—and now this.” She shoved herself to her feet and crossed over to the mantel. “I hate that Jason had to reassign a perfectly nice guy because I can’t handle the dark.”

“Elizabeth—” Bobbie began, but Carly shook her head.

“That’s not why he did it, and you know that. And it’s not your fault.” Carly got up. “Do you remember when I came to see you at the hospital last summer? And you told me that you had the same stress condition I did? Why didn’t you tell Jason at the time?”

Elizabeth sighed. “Because I was scared he’d think I was weak and stay away from me.”

“And this time you told him. Were you worried that he’d think you were weak?”

“No. No, not really. I was embarrassed, but—” Elizabeth managed a smile. “I knew he wouldn’t see it that way. I came to see you so that I’d be calmer when I came home. To I could have a minute to think.”

“You’ve both come so far since last year,” Bobbie told them. “But that doesn’t mean you don’t still have a long way to go. You’ll get there.”

“Yeah. Probably.” Carly wrinkled her nose. “Sonny’s been home for like a month. Have you talked to him?”

“Not yet. Jason said he came by on Monday, and they talked. I’m going to ask him over for dinner sometime this week,” she admitted. “Jason said Sonny’s struggling with a reason to stay on the meds, and I guess we’re both going to try to find a way to give him one. He can’t get the business back or fix things with you,” she added to Carly. “But I know how important Sonny is to Jason, and God knows, I know how your mind can screw with you.”

“Are you sure you’re ready to let Sonny in?” Bobbie asked skeptically. “Don’t do it just because of Jason—”

“It’s not just because of Jason. It’s a different sort of pressure for me, I guess. He was Jason’s best friend, not mine. He wasn’t my husband or the father of my children. There’s just not the same expectations, you know? I wasn’t even as angry with him as everyone else because I didn’t have a reason to be. I was disappointed and irritated, but not angry.” Elizabeth took Cameron from Bobbie. “I can do this for Jason. I want Sonny to be better so that one day, he might get more of his life back.”

“I suppose that makes sense, and I don’t want Sonny to stop taking the meds.” Carly bit her lip. “But I hope he gets healthy and stable again for his sake.”

“And that’s all I want to do. Keep him on the road to that stability,” Elizabeth said. “We’ll all be better off.”

Corinthos & Morgan Warehouse: Office

Jason braced himself as Richie knocked on the open door. “Francis sent me over. Said you wanted to talk to me.”

“Yeah.” Jason got up and went to close the door. “I appreciate you stepping in and helping out with guarding Elizabeth for a few days, but I wanted to let you know that I’m reassigning you.”

Richie’s hands curled into fists at his side. “Did I do something wrong? Is this about Monday? I swear—I tried to tell her to take the elevator—we never should have been in that stairwell—”

Jason bristled at that statement, but shook it off. “It’s just not going to work out. Don’t take it personally,” he said. “Cody became available again, and he’s a better match.”

“Cody?” Richie echoed. “I thought he went to Puerto Rico.”

“He did, but he’s back, and he’s been her guard for almost a year.  I talked it over with Francis, and he suggested you could take over the security detail at the Cellar.”

“The Cellar.”

“Yeah. Jimmy was doing that, but he’s going down to Puerto Rico. You’re not guarding Carly—she doesn’t need one anymore—but you’ll be on the building. Making sure it’s secure.”

“Okay,” Richie said. He nodded. “Okay. Uh, thanks for the opportunity. Tell Mrs. Morgan I said goodbye.”

“I will.” Jason opened the door to let him out, and saw Cody waiting. “Hey, Cody. I didn’t think you’d get here until tomorrow.”

“O’Brien said you needed me here, so I thought—” Cody glanced at Richie as the other guard glared at him and left. Jason made a note to keep an eye on that situation. “Um, I didn’t think—I didn’t know if maybe you changed your mind about—”

Jason waited for Cody to come into the office and then closed the door. “I haven’t. You did what you did, and it’s over. I’m satisfied that you did it to protect Elizabeth. She sent you away because she was worried what the other guards would think if I let you stay on as her guard.”

“I know. And I’m still sorry for what I did. I should have come to you or found another way to take care of the situation. Um, am I being reassigned to the warehouse?”

“No. I haven’t talked to Elizabeth yet, but assuming she’s okay with it—” Jason went back to the desk and looked at the stuffed bear that he’d left on top as a reminder to never take chances with Elizabeth. “She needs a guard who makes her feel safe, but I also need someone I know will put her first. Not just her physical safety.” He paused. “You know what she’s been through this last year.”

“I do.”

“It’s why you did what you did.”

Cody swallowed hard. “Yeah.”

“She needs someone who understands all of that and doesn’t treat her differently. I don’t have anyone else working for me who I think fits that better than you. She still has to agree,” he warned Cody. “But if she does, I hope you’ll come back to guard her.”

“You’re—” Cody cleared his throat. “I didn’t—you’re giving me another chance.”

“It’s the last one. Elizabeth and my son are more important to me than anything else. The business, the organization — she’s number one. They both are. If you think something I’m doing is dangerous to her, then you better bring that to me.” Jason met Cody’s eyes. “You get me? You don’t get another chance, Cody. This is it.”

“You told me that I had to make her number one when I started guarding her,” Cody said. “And she made it clear that that you were her number one when she sent me away. I messed that up. I put you in danger by trying to help. I won’t do it again. You won’t regret this.”

Municipal Building: Scott’s Office

“Come in, come in.” Scott gestured for Taggert to take a seat. “You have an update on Ollie’s case?”

“Uh, sort of.” Taggert set a few files on the desk, waited for Scott to sit down. “I talked to Spencer. He added some things to what I already knew.”

“Really?”

“I need to clear up some timeline issues.” Taggert hesitated. “Karen.”

“Karen?” Scott leaned back. “What about her?”

“When did you find out she was your daughter?”

“Oh. Uh—” Scott blinked, then squinted. “Um, sometime in early January of…’94. Yeah, about six months before Ollie died. Rhonda called me—she said she’d been thinking things over, felt bad I didn’t know. And that it might be nice for Karen to have a relationship with me if we wanted that. I think she didn’t tell Karen until she was marrying Jagger. In March, that same year. Why?”

“Because I think this goes back to Karen and the Paradise. Sonny was hired on there as a favor to Joe Scully, according to Luke. And based on what I’ve learned—the Paradise changed under his management. It had probably always been a front for gambling—”

Scott twisted in his seat. “Wait a second—”

“Luke only knew rumors, but he thought Oliver was unhappy about the treatment of some of the girls. That he knew drugs were being used on the premises. Did he know about Karen? Being your daughter?”

“Yeah. Uh—” Scott shook his head. “I’m sorry. This is—this is just a lot. I—are you telling me that maybe he got killed because of what was going on at the Paradise?”

“That’s the rumor,” Taggert said slowly. “Did Oliver know Karen was your daughter?”

“Yeah,” Scott said faintly. “Rhonda said she’d reached out to him—we all went to school together. When Karen was struggling. She’d wanted some help. I never asked why she’d called him. I wasn’t involved then. But if—if he was working at the Paradise, it makes sense Rhonda wanted to talk to him.”

Scott looked at Taggert. “Wait. Wait. Is Corinthos a suspect?”

“I don’t have any evidence,” he said, “but yeah, based on Spencer’s statement, he is. The cop that buried the case—he never worked for Frank Smith. He was always on Sonny’s payroll.”

“Damn it. Damn it. And there’s no way to prove any of this—” Scott shoved away from the table. “Ollie got himself killed because of Karen?”

“I don’t know for sure, Scott. We might never know. I’m driving down to Buffalo tomorrow to talk to Angela Joyce. Now that Kelsey’s brought this to us, her mother might agree to help. I’m hoping she saved some of her husband’s paperwork to see if I can make any connections to Corinthos to pull him in for questioning.”

“Christ.” Scott crossed over to the window, looked down at the street. “It always comes back to him,” he muttered. “Even when we try to get away. I tried to let it go, Taggert.”

“So did I. And I sure as hell didn’t go looking for this case or for Sonny. I thought maybe we’d find some evidence of Smith ordering someone to do it—I never thought it’d be tied to Karen or Sonny. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Scott met his eyes. “Last year—last summer—we made mistakes. And we went after Sonny hard. That was wrong. And we learned from it, didn’t we? I think I did. I mean, I tried to do right by Carly after it went down. And you—you made nice with Morgan for Elizabeth’s sake.”

“I had my doubts, too,” Taggert admitted. “But this case—I’m on even ground here. I crossed all the boxes, and I’m waiting for probable cause before I pull Sonny in.”

“Luke pointed you in this direction? Luke Spencer?” Scott grimaced. “Never thought he’d turn on Sonny.”

“A lot of people are turning their back on Corinthos these days. Even Morgan.”

“I never thought I’d have a chance to get my daughter any justice for what that man did to her.” Scott looked at Taggert. “You’re going to Buffalo tomorrow? Let me move some things around. I’ll go with you. Angie might talk to me.”

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bathroom

“I think this is my favorite part of the day,” Elizabeth told Jason as she carefully washed the soap suds from Cameron’s body. His little fists splashed the water in the basin and his lips curved into what might have been a smile. “He loves the bath.”

“Smart guy.” Jason kissed the side of her neck, and Elizabeth laughed. “I think he likes it better when you do the bath.” He handed her a dry towel so she could wrap the baby in it and quickly dry him.

Once Cameron was double layered, Jason stayed behind in the bathroom to clean up while she went to feed him. Cameron had only been home for five days, and while she hadn’t had a lot of sleep, it was the best she’d felt in months. Maybe even years.

“I have something I want to run by you,” Jason said, switching off the light and closing the door. “You know I’ve been looking for a new day guard.”

“Oh, did you find someone? Marco won’t say anything but I know he’s worried with summer coming — he wants to be with DeeDee as much as possible. Did you know she was almost done with preschool? There’s a graduation, and I want to send a card—” Elizabeth stopped. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

“No, but thanks for letting me know. We’ll do something for him. I asked Cody to come up from Puerto Rico.”

Elizabeth blinked at him, then readjusted when the bottle slipped out of the baby’s mouth and he started to fuss. “Cody. I—”

“I know why you sent him away and I agreed. But it’s been two months, and no one really knows what he did. But before I gave it a green light, I wanted to make sure you’d feel okay with it.”

“I don’t know. I’ve missed him,” she admitted. “I was so angry and upset when I found out what he did, but it’s helped with time. I really would feel—I don’t know. He was there at the house and with the hearing, and—I guess I wouldn’t have felt so embarrassed if he’d been there. But I don’t want to cause trouble. Won’t it be a problem if it gets out?”

“It might be, but I’ll handle it. If you want Cody back on the door, then I’ll tell him to show up tomorrow.” Jason paused. “I don’t know anyone else in the organization who would be a better fit or who would protect you better. He was willing to go against me to keep you safe. That’s worth something to me.” He crouched down in front of the chair and met her eyes. “I can’t be with you all the time,” he continued. “And you wouldn’t want me to be. But I need you to not only be safe but feel safe. You and Cameron.”

“We’ll try it out and see how it goes.” Elizabeth paused. “Thank you. For thinking of this. I wouldn’t have even considered asking for Cody.”

He stood up and kissed her forehead. “I love you. If you don’t end up feeling comfortable with Cody, let me know. He’ll understand.”

“I know he will. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Joe’s: Bar

Claudia sauntered through the door and stood in the entrance for a minute, scanning the dive bar for her prey. Finding him at a back table, slumped over a shot glass with a bottle of tequila nearby, her lips curved into a smile. Drinking away his sorrows. Just the way she liked her men.

She weaved through the crowds of dockworkers, avoiding the stares. Most people didn’t know what she looked like and by the time anyone realized she was from the Zacchara family and that she’d been in Port Charles—

Well, it would be too late.

She tugged out a chair from the table and slid into it. “Richie, isn’t it?”

Richie looked up, his eyes glassy. “Who’s asking?”

“Someone who hears that you’ve been done wrong.”

August 8, 2022

Update Link: Invisible Strings – Part 8

Well, we’re moving into the final weeks of my summer vacation — three full weeks left, and I have to have my wisdom teeth out halfway through that time. Boo to the world, lol. I’ve started to work on content for the school year — finished revising last year’s units and am starting on the new units I have to create for my eighth grade class. I’d rather get it done now than trying to do it during the limited prep time once we get back to school.

Finally scheduled that MRI I need to start treatment for my neck issues, so fingers crossed we’re going to get some relief on that.

I ended up switching Discovery projects this week — instead of Malice, I’m going to work on Burn in Heaven. I just had some thoughts and visuals for that story and it’s always better to get it out while you can.

See you tomorrow for another update of Mad World and flash fiction 🙂

This entry is part 8 of 22 in the Flash Fiction: Invisible Strings

Written in 83 minutes. Sorry this final scene just wanted to be a bitch, and then people kept calling —


Elizabeth received a note shortly after breakfast that the ceremony was set for noon that very day. She stared at the letter, sliding her fingertips over Jason’s handwriting. He wrote in with clear, block letters — so different than the letters she’d thought were from him which had been written with loops and swirls. Another reminder of how little she really knew about the man she was going to take to husband.

“Mama?” Cameron tugged on her skirt. “We go outside?”

“In a little.” She perched on the edge of the chaise. “You remember Jason from last night? We met his grandmother and cousin?”

Cameron nodded. “New papa.”

Elizabeth exhaled slowly. “Yes,” she said carefully since Jason hadn’t denied the title when Cameron had asked his question the night before. They would be married. And if the universe was kind, there would be more children. Cameron might not ever remember being without a father.

Please, she thought, closing her eyes. Let this be the right choice. Let my son have a better life than the one I’ve given him.

“We’re going to the church in a few hours,” Elizabeth told him. “And Jason and I will get married. Then we’re going to live at his house. He told me it was a ranch which means there’s lots of outside.” A ranch meant land, didn’t it? There were none of those back in New York. Land and animals, and maybe a different view of the mountains that had captured her  eye from the moment she’d seen them.

“I live outside,” Cameron decided. She smiled, slid her hands through his blond hair. Her precious little boy who was worth any sacrifice. She could do this. She could do anything to make him happy.

She washed Cameron and herself with the water delivered along with their breakfast, then dressed Cameron in the suit he’d worn the night before. His finest, she thought proudly as she straightened his jacket. She’d saved her pennies until she could afford the material, then had sewn until candles in their rooms were gone so that he would look his best in church.

Then she pulled out the best dress she owned, though it was several seasons out of date. She  hoped that might not matter out here in Colorado. The fabric was a bit faded, and she’d had to trim the fraying ends of the cuffs a few times, but it still fit nicely and she thought she looked quite nice in this light shade of blue.

When the knock came just before noon, Elizabeth was ready — their things gathered and Cameron’s hair combed.

But it wasn’t Jason on the other side of the door — but the cousin. The cousin who had written the letters, sent the money, and made arrangements. He looked like Jason, though a lankier, less solid version with shaggy blonde hair and blue eyes.

“Uh, Miss Webber.” Dillon coughed. “Mrs,” he corrected. “Mrs. Webber.” He smiled. “Grandmother sent me to fetch you. She said it was bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding.”

“Oh. Well—” Elizabeth nodded. “All right. That—” She stepped back to let Dillon and close the door.

“I’ll come back for your things after the ceremony,” Dillon continued. “Grandmother said not to worry about anything. You look nice,” he added.

“You not the papa,” Cameron said suspiciously. He looked at his mother. “You said the papa come to get us.”

“The papa—” Dillon repeated. “Oh, no, little guy.” He knelt down to Cameron’s level. “Your mama looks so pretty that we want her to be a surprise for your new papa, right? So I’m going to take you to him.”

“Mama always pretty,” Cameron said with nod. He jabbed a finger at his chest. “I best and handsomest. She said so.”

“Absolutely.” Dillon grinned, then got back to his feet. “And, uh, I think I owe you—” The tips of his ears went red, then spread to his cheeks. “I know I owe you an apology. For what I did. I just wanted him to be happy, but he wasn’t doing anything, and it was wrong of me to think he should just…not tell you.”

“You—” Elizabeth arched a brow. “You brought a woman across the country to marry him without a word and thought he should fulfill that promise by lying to me the rest of our lives?”

“When you say it outloud like that-” Dillon grimaced. “It just sounds bad. But your letters talked about how much you loved your son and wanted a good life for him, and my cousin deserves a family. He was so good with my nephew—” And then some of the life left his eyes. “He just should have a family. That’s all.”

“It’s all seemed to work out, I suppose, and it’s…sweet that you want that for him,” Elizabeth said. “I accept your apology.”

“Good. Good. It was a dumb thing to do, and it could have gone so wrong.” Dillon brightened. “But I knew Jason would meet you and it would be okay. And it is now. You got here yesterday and now today, you’re going to be my cousin and we got a new little guy as a bonus.”  He held out his arm. “Shall I walk you over to he church now?”

“I’m not sure I understand how this happened,” Michael Corinthos, better known as Sonny, a neighboring rancher, offered as he shrugged into the uncomfortable suit jacket that completed his church outfit. “You weren’t betrothed yesterday.”

“I was,” Jason said, looking around his friend who had agreed to stand up with him as a witness for the wedding. “I didn’t tell you.”

“Yeah, yeah, a granddaughter of an old friend.” Sonny squinted. “Not sure I believe it.”

Jason scowled. “Not asking you to believe anything. It is what it is. And you’ll make sure everyone else knows it, too.”

“Right.” Sonny shook his head, then smiled as Jason’s grandmother swept down the aisle. “Good morning, Mrs. M.”

Lila nodded in greeting then turned to Jason. “Elizabeth is here,” she told Jason. “I offered to have Dillon escort her down the aisle, but—” She turned as Dillon joined them. “Is she ready?”

“She’s just adjusting the tie on the little  guy. Says the only man going to give her away is the one she’s already got.” Dillon shrugged. “Works for me.”

“Little guy?” Sonny echoed. “Is there part of the story I don’t know yet?”

“She has a son. A four-year-old,” Jason added as Lila and Dillon went to sit in the front pew and he went towards the reverend. “Thank you for doing this today.”

Reverend Coates smiled gently. “If you’re ready—” He nodded at the organ player.

“Yeah, uh, go head.”

The sound of the pipe organ filled the small church and Jason took his spot, turning towards the back, unsure exactly what he was feeling — was it a desire to rush out the back door and disappear? Or maybe a renewed irritation with his cousin for starting all of this—

Or the universe for sending cholera to take so much of his family, leaving his grandmother to fret about her remaining grandsons—

Whatever he was feeling, it disappeared as Elizabeth came around the edge of the doorway, her hand clutched in Cameron, the little boy smiling brightly. She stood just at the end of the aisle, a bonnet secured over her brown hair—a shame, he thought idly, he liked her hair—and her deep blue eyes sweeping across the church.

“She’s not moving,” Sonny said, through clenched teeth.

“Shut up,” Jason muttered. She’d been a swirl of nerves since the moment he’d revealed the truth about the letters and how she’d ended up in Colorado. Had Dillon said something stupid? Had he made her feel like this was pity?

Worried that she was going to dart from the church, taking Cameron with her, and make a beeline for the train deport just down the road, Jason went up the aisle to meet her.  “Are you all right?” he asked softly.

“I—” Elizabeth closed her eyes, her lips trembling. “I don’t want you to regret this,” she managed. She looked at him, and there were tears clinging to her lashes. “Promise me you won’t.”

“I won’t,” he said gently. “I know you wanted Cameron to escort you down, but we can go together, right?”

“Y-Yes.” Elizabeth nodded. He lifted Cameron into his arms, perching the boy on one side and reaching for Elizabeth’s hand with the other. “If you’re sure.”

You couldn’t really be sure of anything, Jason thought. His brother had certainly thought Caroline was the right wife, and that hadn’t turned out well. And he’d been sure that he wouldn’t need to have a family — his sister had always wanted a large family. As many as she could stand, she’d laugh, then bounce Michael in the air, the infant giggling. Jason had been sure that he’d have a lifetime with them, to watch his sister have her dream, to see Michael grow up tall and strong, his own person.  He’d taken it for granted that they would always be there. That he’d have time to fix things with his father and grandfather—

There were no guarantees in life, he thought. Only promises. “Are you ready?”

“Yes.” Elizabeth nodded. “I’m ready.”

He’d been so kind when she’d frozen at the church doors like an idiot, Elizabeth thought. Surely that was a good sign. And he’d carried Cameron down the end of the aisle and set him down next to the dark-haired man with the suspicious eyes. Cameron had beamed up at him, and called him the papa again, and no one had even flinched.

Then they’d spoken their vows, Jason holding her hands. At the end of the ceremony, he leaned down and gently brushes his lips against her cheek.

Now, as they drove towards his ranch, a few miles out of the town proper, he’d told her, Elizabeth reminded herself that in exchange for his kindness, she’d be the best wife. She’d figure out how to be a better cook, his home would be sparkling, and there would never be a single of hole or frayed—

And then she realized that the building in the distance was the house. Her throat tightened. It wasn’t the three story mansion she’d visited the other night, but it was a large home. With an open porch that swept around the house—and there was a stone fence with an arch they drove under.

When he’d said ranch, she’d expected something more rustic, she realized. Something that…something that looked like the crude illustrations in the dime novels she’d read as a girl in the circulating library back home.

But this was…this was something more. He pulled the wagon in front of the house—a set of stables were set maybe fifty feet away from the house with training yards. Beyond that, there was a barn — and she could see cattle in the distance. Horses. This was a large ranch. An estate some might call it at home.

“Are you ready?” he asked. “Alice has been looking forward to meeting you and Cameron.”

“Alice—” Elizabeth squinted as Jason leapt nimbly down. He lifted Cameron over the side, making sure to clear the wheel, then held out a hand for her. He helped her down, careful to keep her skirts from getting caught in the wheel. “Who…who is Alice?” Did he have a daughter? She thought frantically. Was that why—

“Mister Jason!” A cheerful booming voice came from behind them and Elizabeth turned to see a tall woman, with a stocky build, and short curling hair standing at the top of the stairs. “It’s about time.”

“That’s Alice,” Jason said, with a sigh. “She still greets me like I’m a child. When I left home, my grandmother insisted on sending her with me,” he added. “She’s the housekeeper.”

“You won’t have to lift a finger,” Alice said as she bustled down the stairs, her smile growing wider. “And this must be little Master Cameron. Hello, young sir.” She stuck out her hand to Cameron who was still looking everywhere with fascination. He shook her head. “And—” If possible, Alice’s face lit up even more. “You’re the new missus. I just about gave up on this boy giving me babies to spoil—”

Jason grimaced, but there was humor in his eyes. A housekeeper, Elizabeth thought faintly. “Hello,” she managed.

“Come in, come in. You must be worn out after all that traveling, and then the boy gets that ring on your finger without even bringing you to see your new home—”

“I’ll get the bags,” Jason said, releasing Elizabeth’s hand. “Alice will take care of everything.”

“Of course.” Elizabeth took a deep breath. Housekeepers didn’t do everything, she thought. She could still find something for her to do, some way to keep Jason from regretting taking a chance —

But inside the house, she felt still more echoes to her childhood. What a piece of civilization she hadn’t expected, she thought, sliding her fingers over the smooth bannister of a sweeping staircase that climbed to the second floor. The floors were a smooth wood, and wallpaper adorned the rooms, light and airy as large windows in the sitting room opened up to a view of a small body of water, the mountains in the distance.

It was a beautiful home that wouldn’t look out of place in Port Hamilton, she thought, turning in a small circle.

“Jason told me you came from New York, so I hope you’ll be comfortable here. Mister Edward built the best for his Lila,” Alice told her. “He loved her so very much. Wasn’t happy about Mister Jason moving out on his own, but Missus Lila handled everything. Not much he won’ do to make her happy, even build this place just the way she wanted.”

Not much he won’t do, Elizabeth thought, even marry the stranger his cousin dumped on his doorstep.

“Now, don’t you worry about anything. You won’t have to lift a finger,” Alice continued. “I take care of the cooking, see to the cleaning—you’ll be pampered like a princess. I’m so very glad you’ve come to stay,” she told Elizabeth.

She nodded, just a short jerking motion, then forced a smile at Cameron who had gone to a window to look at the horses. “Mama, look—” he pointed. “The papa has horses.”

“He trains some of the best horses in the region,” Alice told Cameron. “The name Jason Morgan is getting known for it. Or was until Missus Lila made him take that sheriff job last year. To keep him close,” Alice confided.

“Can I go see the horses?” Cameron wanted to know. “Please, Mama—”

“Not—Not right now.” Elizabeth needed a moment. Needed to gather herself, and think.

“You must be exhausted. Mister Jason—” Alice swept out of the sitting room where Jason was coming in from the stables, having put up the wagon and horses. He had Elizabeth’s bags in his hand. One in each. All she had in the world. “You should take the missus to wash and clean up. I’ll show the little master to his room so he can see everything Missus Lila sent for him.”

“Sent for him?”Jason repeated. Then looked at Elizabeth. “Are you all right?”

“Yes. Yes.” She smiled. “I’m fine. But the wagon was dusty. I’d like to—”

“Yeah. Okay.” He took her arm and led her towards the stairs. “I’m sorry,” he said as the went up the stairs, keeping his voice low so that Alice, on her way behind them with Cameron, couldn’t hear. “There’s really no way to prepare you for Alice.”

“No, I understand.” She managed another smile as he led her down a hallway and pushed open a door. It was a sprarsely decorated room — with a double bed, a dresser, and a table with a porcelain bin and pitcher for washing up. Her stomach pitched. Was he putting her in a guest room?

“I’m sorry,” Jason said closing the door. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I never spent a lot of time in here. There’s not much. Um—you can do whatever you want to the house. I mean—”

“This is your room,” Elizabeth said, as relief swamped her. “I just—”

“Yeah, I don’t really need a lot,” he continued, setting the bags on the bed. “My grandmother really did the house, but left this for me.”

“Right.” She curled her hand in a fist at her waist. “You’re very lucky to have someone like her. Who cares so much.”

“I know. And Alice—she, uh, lost family in the epidemic, too,” Jason said. “A husband and a son. So if she’s…she comes on strong. But I can talk to her—”

“No, no. She’s wonderful. It’s all—it’s a wonderful home,” Elizabeth said quickly. “It’s just…not what I was expecting. No wonder you didn’t look very hard for a wife.” She said the final part, meaning it to be a joke, but it came out a bit more shaky than she meant it to. Of course Jason hadn’t looked for a wife. What need did he have? He had a grandmother who decorated his house, and a housekeeper who took care of him better than any mother Elizabeth had ever known—

Jason came over to her, took her hands in his, then stared with confusion as he slid one finger tip over the glove on her hand. He gently pulled it off, and her cheeks flushed. “You stuffed it,” he said.  She yanked her hand back, curling it back into a fist.

“I—I wanted it to be…” To fit the one pair of gloves she owned. So that no one would notice. Why did he always see it?

“You don’t have to.” He tugged off the other glove, set them both on the dresser near them. He met her eyes. “I didn’t look very hard,” he told her, “because no one interested me.”

Interested. He’d told her he was attracted to her, and she hadn’t really known what to do with that, but of course, she’d forgotten another reason a man might marry. Especially one out West where men outnumbered women.

“Then I am very fortunate,” Elizabeth said, “that I was not ill-featured.” She smiled again, but he just tipped his head.

“You are beautiful,” he acknowledged, releasing one of her hands and raising his own to her  face, sweeping his thumb across her jaw. “You’ve looked in a mirror, so you know that to be true. But there are pretty women here, too.”

Oh, well, then—

“When you opened the door yesterday and decided that I was not good enough for you,” Jason said, “because you thought that I thought badly of your son, you had my attention.”

“You enjoy women yelling at you?” Elizabeth said, her eyes searching his. He’d told her that before, but she hadn’t believed him.

“For all you knew, I was the man who wrote those letters and was now rejecting a little boy I had promise to love as my own. And you were angry enough to reject me first. Because you fight for what matters.”

“Yes.”

“I thought that my cousin was right,” Jason continued. “I would do anything for my grandmother. And almost anything for him,” he added and she smiled at that. “Because they matter to me. I know something about taking care of family.”

If this was supposed to make her feel better, it wasn’t quite working but she appreciated that he was trying. He would do anything for his family, and he had. And he’d been kind enough to try to convince her that it was more than pity that had caused him to offer for her.

And she could do far worse than a handsome, kind husband who only needed a wife to have someone in his bed. Love at first sight only happened in dime store novels.

She leaned up to press her lips against his, softly and a bit shyly. She had little experience to draw upon, and it had been years since she’d initiated intimacies. Lucky for her, Jason was happy to take up the reins. His hand slid around to cup the back of her neck, his other arm around her waist to pull her closer. She had a second chance, a miraculous new start, and she was going to make the most of it.

Jason would never, ever regret marrying her, and she was going to be the best wife she could be.

August 7, 2022

Update: Watch Me Burn – Part 4

Happy Sunday! I just got word that my insurance company finally approved my MRI after a month of arguing with them. Once that’s done, I can finally start treatment for my back and neck pain. Better late than never.

I’m finished planning both These Small Hours and For the Broken Girl, Book 2. The only thing left for both projects is to finish the soundtrack, and that’s obviously not a priority. That means out of six total projects I’m planning this month, two are already finished. We’re about 30% of the way through this crazy month. I’ve never done a complete Discovery process in six days like I did with These Small Hours, lol.

Having a ton of different projects broken down is (hopefully) going to make it easier during the school to draft projects.

I’ll be back tomorrow with the next Flash Fiction update 🙂

This entry is part 4 of 56 in the Flash Fiction: Watch Me Burn

Honestly can’t tell you how long this took. My keyboard was such a bitch — lagging every five seconds. Probably around 70-80 minutes, tbh.


Morgan Penthouse: Guest Bedroom

The miniature motorcycle was actually a tricycle which delighted Cameron. He fit his tiny feet to the pedals and it rolled forward. Jason reached out to close the door before Elizabeth could even think — but of course Cameron would make a beeline for the long hallway, and the stairs didn’t have a gate.

The entire penthouse felt like a death trap now and Elizabeth clutched Jake more tightly in her arm, looking around the room again, taking in all the details —    the bed with racing cars that Jake wouldn’t need for at least a year. The tricycle Cameron rode, the Lego sets carefully tucked on shelf next to a row of plastic figures—Spiderman, Batman, Superman, and other superheroes she didn’t recognize.

On the other side of the room sat a crib with padded bumpers, a changing table, and a toy box filled with stuffed animals. Spinelli stood in the center, a huge grin stretched across his face, eyes bright. He’d been so excited to show off his surprise——

“Thank you,” Elizabeth said. She handed Jake to Jason and hugged the tech. “You and Georgie obviously have good taste,” she said as Cameron zoomed around them, though he struggled to go very fast across the carpet. “How did you know he was obsessed with motorcycles right now?”

“Well, Noble Emily might have given us some pointers,” Spinelli admitted.

“Uh, thanks,” Jason said. In his arms, Jake started to fuss, screwing up his little face, then emitted a cry. He gently rocked the infant, but it didn’t help.

“Oh, he’s ready for his bottle,” Elizabeth said. “Cam, we have to go downstairs so Jake can eat—”

“Mom! He’s got Biderman!” Cameron clutched the red and blue figurine to his chest, his blue eyes wide. “Can’t I play?”

“The Insightful Georgie made sure we got these—” Spinelli handed Elizabeth a square device the size of a paperback book. “They’ve got video and audio. I wanted to open them up to see if I could make the picture better, but Georgie said maybe not this set. I bought my own to play with,” Spinelli informed her. He switched it on, and a black and white picture popped up, aimed at the crib. “And the little dude can press this  button to talk to you. It’s like an intercom.”

“You, uh, really thought of everything,” Elizabeth said.

“I’ll hang out with him and make sure he’s okay so Little Stone Cold can get his munchies on.”

“Thank you,” Elizabeth said again. “Cam, you okay to stay up here with Spinelli?”

Cam thrust a plastic figure at the tech. “You be Batman.”

Elizabeth followed Jason down the stairs, still trying to understand the itch between her shoulders and the general discomfort she felt over the room upstairs. She unzipped the diaper bag to pull out the container of formula and an empty bottle.

“I can do that,” Jason offered, rubbing Jake’s back in slow circles to keep him calm.

“No, no, it’s okay. You—” She forced a smile. “You’ve got him sort of quiet—I’ll do this.” She hurried into the kitchen to mix the bottle, then stared in confusion at the bottle warmer on the counter. What—

“Elizabeth, is everything—” Jason stopped as he saw it as well. “I guess the surprises weren’t just upstairs,” he said.

“No, he really thought of everything.” She switched it on, then set the bottle inside. “It was really thoughtful of him.”

“Are you sure? You seem…I don’t know. Like it bothers you—”

“No. No,” she repeated with force, turning to face him. “It’s not—okay, a little. I don’t know why. I knew we’d have to get things for Jake here so he could spend as much time as you wanted, but—”

“Did you want to do it yourself? Because—”

“I must sound like an insane person,” Elizabeth muttered, dragging her hands through her hair. “No. Everything Spinelli and Georgie did was perfect. And I appreciate Emily helping, too. Maybe it’s—” The bottle warmer beeped and she retrieved the bottle, tested it on her wrist, then handed it to Jason. Jake immediately settled as his father adjusted him in his arms, laying him in the crook of his elbow. His tiny hands tried to rest on the bottle but he wasn’t strong enough to hold it himself.  Elizabeth exhaled slowly. “It’s Cam,” she murmured. “Spinelli made sure he’d be welcome here and feel at home. And it doesn’t bother me. It just—it’s this conversation I had with Emily earlier.”

“I haven’t been able to get a hold of her since I got out,” Jason said. “Is she—”

“Obviously very supportive, considering she helped Spinelli. She talked to Lucky. I told you that he still wanted custody of Jake, and she tried to talk him out of it,” Elizabeth continued. She folded her arms. “He told her he can’t imagine staying in Cameron’s life if he loses custody of Jake.” Her throat tightened. “And I know she’s confused because Jake isn’t his biological son either. But the difference is that Lucky thought he was. He always knew Cam wasn’t.”

“I don’t understand. Lucky—” Jason squinted. “He’s been in Cam’s life since the beginning.”

“Just about. Um, we got engaged a few months after Cam turned one, but Cam was already in love with him, and Lucky was so good with him. Cam’s first word was mama, but dada was his second, and he’s always seen Lucky as his—” She swiped at her eyes. “He’s doing this to hurt me. He has to be.”

“I can understand his wanting to stay in Jake’s life,” Jason said slowly, forcing the words out. “I wanted that with Michael. I tried it. But Cam has nothing to do with any of this.”

“No. He’s not yours. And Zander is dead. There’s no one out there who can ever come between them. So either he’s been lying to me all this time about loving Cam as his own or—” She rubbed her chest. “He thinks this will break me. That it’ll make me change my mind.”

“That you’ll back down on me being in Jake’s life,” Jason said. “To let Cam keep his father, you’d have to let Lucky stay with Jake.”

“I don’t want to think it’s that cold. That he’s using Cam this way. I know he’s hurt. I know I made this giant mess and that I can’t just make it go away by telling the truth one day. I can’t make it not true.  I did this. I lied. And I asked you to lie. And it was cruel to both of you—”

“Elizabeth—”

“But Cameron shouldn’t be the one to pay for it. Because he’s the one that has to live with it. Even if a judge gives him visitation the way you got with Michael—” She shook her head. “We can’t go back. We’re not going back to how it was. I don’t want to. You deserve to have your son. He deserves to have you.”

“I wish there was something I could do to make this go away,” he told her. He set the empty bottle on the counter, then adjusted Jake on his shoulder, patting his back until in the infant burped. “But I’m not giving Jake up.”

“And it’s not on the table,” Elizabeth said firmly. “All I can do is tell a judge that I was scared, I made a mistake, and I’m trying to make it right. Lucky’s the one who’s going to have to explain why Cameron’s custody should have anything to do with what happens with Jake.”

Wyndemere: Study

Lucky scowled when he saw Nikolas’s aunt standing in the middle of the room. He glared at his brother. “You said you found me a lawyer—”

“Before we start down this road,” Nikolas said, leaning against the desk and folding his arms. “I thought you might want a second opinion. Before papers get filed and you can’t take this back.”

“I don’t—” Lucky clenched his jaw, then looked at Alexis. “I plan on asking for joint custody of the boys. Both.”

“Okay,” Alexis said with a nod. “There are some pitfalls there—”

“Both,” Lucky repeated. “Or none.” He folded his arms. “I can’t stay in Cameron’s life as a part-time father, watching Jason raise my son. I don’t care what the paternity results are. Anyone can make a baby. I’ve been Jake’s father, and I want him.”

“Jason will likely be a part-time father as well,” Nikolas pointed out. “They don’t live together—”

“Not yet, but don’t be stupid,” Lucky bit out. “He broke up with Sam after the kidnapping. They were probably planning to go public if he beat the murder charges—”

“Whether or not any of that is true,” Alexis said, “that doesn’t give you anything to work with. You understand that you have very few options. You’re not Jake’s biological father, and the court will likely look very hard at Elizabeth for lying about it. With Jason in the picture — and as someone who was deprived of his paternal rights, most family courts are going to side with him.”

“But—”

“In fact, if Elizabeth wanted to play hardball, you could lose even your limited access to Cameron,” Alexis continued. “You’re not his father. You didn’t adopt him. Stepparents generally don’t get a lot of power. Your one saving grace is that there is no biological father in the picture. If you want my advice, Lucky, drop Jake from your plans. File paperwork to adopt Cameron so she can’t use that against you.”

“I—” Lucky couldn’t. He couldn’t just give up on Jake. He wouldn’t. “I can’t. I can’t watch Jake grow up with someone else and not fight for that to be me. That’s your advice, fine. But how do I win my case? It can’t be impossible—”

“You’d have make Jason disappear. Make him an unfit father,” she added. “But that’s another uphill battle. He’ll have plenty of character witnesses about his time with Michael—”

“Another time he lied—”

“Jason won visitation rights,” Alexis said. “You weren’t here for that, but I secured that case for him. He could have stayed in Michael’s life, but he surrendered them for Michael’s sake. That would likely impress a family court judge. And you can’t even use the criminal record against him – he’s been legally exonerated of the charges. Lucky, this case would be difficult, close to impossible to win, and it would drag on for months—”

“But what about Elizabeth? Can’t I get anything for what she did to me? She lied. She lied on his birth certificate. On medical records. Christ, in the kidnapping investigation — she was asked point blank if there was anything that could have made Jake a target—”

“Lucky, that’s not why Jake got kidnapped—”

“I know that’s not why Maureen Harper says she did it, but maybe it was to get back at Sam — Jason’s girlfriend. Can’t I use any of that to talk about her being an unfit mother?” Lucky demanded.

“You could try, and with the right judge, it might get you something. But it’s a maybe, Lucky. You have an excellent chance of keeping Cam in your life. Take it—”

“No. No. I can’t. I can’t just give up like this. I can’t let Elizabeth take my son from me like this doesn’t matter—” He took a deep breath. “You can’t take my case because of Jason. But you know who would, don’t you? You can give me a recommendations.”

“I can, but I’d be surprised if it went anywhere.” Alexis shook her head, then looked at Nikolas. “I’m sorry. I tried.”

Harborview Towers: Parking Garage

After Jake’s bottle and a nap, Elizabeth reluctantly decided it was time to pack the boys up to return home. “We can try overnight visits if you want,” she offered as the elevator opened on the parking garage level. “And—and I don’t want you to feel like you can’t have him alone or anything, um, if you want Diane to make, like an arrangement or something—”

“She actually wants to talk to us both before she takes your case,” Jason told her. He set Jake into his stroller. “I know you’re trying to make up for the time we’ve lost—but I’ve also been in jail for most of his life,” he reminded her gently.

“Only because of the kidnapping—which wouldn’t have happened if we’d—if I’d told the truth,” she corrected. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about that—you were waiting on bail. Wouldn’t you have assigned Jake a guard or something?”

Jason grimaced. “Elizabeth—”

“I’m just—he’s not just mine. Not anymore. You don’t have to ask me for permission or-or—” She sighed. “I just want to make this okay, and that’s not going to happen in a few days or visits.”

“It’s okay right now,” Jason told her. “For me, anyway.” He scooped Cameron in his arms as they turned a corner. “I made you a promise,” he told Elizabeth’s son whose eyes were so wide at the sight of the Harley Davidson parked next to an SUV.

“That’s yours?” Cameron asked in a hushed, awed whisper. “Mommy, it’s a real bike.”

“Yes, it is.” Elizabeth smiled as Jason set Cameron down on the seat, holding him at the waist. “It’s bigger than the one upstairs.”

Cameron slid his hands down the handlebars, then dangled his feet. He made a face, then looked at Jason. “Maybe not big enough yet.”

“Not yet,” Jason agreed. “It’ll be a while.”

“Yeah. I play with my size,” Cameron said with a firm nod. “I can play with yours?” he asked him.

“It’s your bike,” Jason told him as he lifted Cameron off the motorcyle. “It’s just going to be at my place. For when you and your brother come over.”

“Grammy not like my zooming,” Cameron said, accepting this with a shrug. “Mommy—”

Jason looked at Elizabeth. “They’re brothers,” he told her. “And I like the way things are right now. With you bringing them both. I don’t want Cam to feel left out, and if you’re serious about going back to work, you should get to have all the time with Jake you can.”

“Okay.” Elizabeth nodded. “Okay. Then we’ll meet with Diane, and we’ll keep things this way.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

After Jason reluctantly strapped Cameron into his car seat and said goodbye to Jake, he went back up to the penthouse where  he found Spinelli back on the sofa on the laptop. “Thank you,” he said.

Spinelli looked up, then grinned again. “He liked the toys, right? Georgie said we did too much, but—”

“No, it was good.” Jason sat in the armchair next to the sofa. “Why did you include Cam?” he asked. “You know—he’s not—I mean, he’s not—”

“Not a blood relation, Stone Cold, sure. But he’s the Wee One’s big brother. And you like his mother. Fair Elizabeth will be here a lot. Little Dude is part of the package.” Spinelli paused. “And—” he made a face and his expression turned solemn. “I was at Kelly’s,” he reminded Jason. “I heard Lucky Spencer tell Emily that if he can’t have Jake, he doesn’t want Cameron. It’s wrong. And the Little Dude deserves the best. I know you feel the same, so when Detective Dingus loses Jake, he’ll turn his back on a little kid who didn’t ask for this to happen.”

Jason’s chest tightened, and he forced himself to exhale. He couldn’t understand how Lucky could tie them together. How he could stomach giving up Cameron just to hurt Elizabeth. He knew Lucky was hurt, and Jason could give him some space on that—but Cam—Cam had nothing to do with any of this.

“So, when Little Dude loses the dingus,” Spinelli continued, “it’ll be okay. We’ll be here, and maybe toys don’t make up for that kind of thing, but belonging does.” He stared at his laptop. “Belonging is nice. Everyone should.”

“Yeah, they should.” Jason got to his feet. “Thanks for helping me get this place ready for Jake and Cam. They’re going to be here a lot, so there’s still more we need to do. But this was a good start.”

“Oh—” Spinelli reached into his pocket and drew out a thumb drive. “I forgot—the security footage you promised to hold secure for my Faithful Friend and her roommate. In case they want to know the identity of the creepy admirer.”

Jason took the drive. “You didn’t look?”

“Of course not.” Spinelli sniffed. “But if we need it, you’ll have it. Thanks for being our guardian of the drive.”

Jason shoved it in his pocket, then went to set up the meeting with Diane.

August 6, 2022

Update Link: Scars – Part 14

I hope everyone is having a good Saturday morning 🙂 I’m feeling pretty productive. Yesterday, after my back started feeling better, I grabbed my laptop and worked from the sofa to finish the Plot Sketch for These Small Hours, the first of the projects I’m planning. Then, this morning, I broke down the entire story in chapters in about an hour. I thought it would take a lot longer, but my plot sketch was so detailed that it was simply just creating the scene cards and deciding where chapter breaks would be.

At the moment, Hours looks like it’ll be around 30 chapters — probably a few more as we get into it. I still have to soundtrack it, but this is a great start to the month.

Next week, I’m working on the discovery for Malice, the sequel to Bittersweet. For the Broken Girl, Book 2 is almost finished Discovery (I’m breaking down chapters and soundtracking). Fool Me Twice, Book 2 is in Plot Sketch stages, but as you can see — the longer I take with sketching out the plot and scenes, the easier it is to break them down.

As a reminder, I’m doing all this prep work this month so that we can spend a week writing sample chapters to better pick my next project which I’ll start drafting in September.

Counting Stars goes into editing on September 1, and will be released November 7,

This entry is part 14 of 25 in the Flash Fiction: Scars

Written in 60 minutes.


Morgan House: Front Lawn

When she’d shown up in Port Charles nearly twenty years earlier, Elizabeth had felt completely alone in the world.  Her parents barely noticed her, her siblings didn’t understand her, and the best Audrey had ever managed was gentle disapproval.  Today, standing on the sidewalk outside the home where she’d raised her boys, surrounded the family she had created, it was hard to remember that brittle, rebellious girl.

She lifted her phone to zoom in on Cameron shyly sliding a wrist corsage onto Emma’s wrist, then watching as Emma twirled, showing off the soft pink dress with the sweetheart neckline. A few steps away, Portia was adjusting the spaghetti straps on Trina’s sleek purple dress while the teen sent discreet looks to Spencer, who was grimacing while his grandmother adjusted the knot on his suit.

And off to the side, just slightly apart, Carly stood with her daughter. Elizabeth’s heart had skipped a beat when Joss had stepped out of the car, her blood red dress not a far cry from another dress worn on a night like this.

No one but Elizabeth would make the connection. There were few left who remembered that dress. Audrey had passed away, Lucky might as well be in another universe, and it had been a crumpled pile of fabric when Bobbie had come to the Spencers house that night.

“You good?”

Elizabeth jerked to attention when Patrick bumped her shoulder. “What?”

“You’re just staring—” Patrick followed her gaze. “I feel a little bad for her,” he admitted. “I know Joss struggles to make friends, and Spencer and Trina aren’t really going together, but—”

“But,” Elizabeth murmured. She exhaled in relief as Jason approached Carly and Joss, and Joss’s plastered smile became more genuine. “Emma looks beautiful,” she told Patrick, looking back at their kids.

“Cam cleans up nice, too.” Patrick exhaled slowly. “He wrote her a song, Webber. Just for her.” He folded his arms. “I’m still not sure I want to let her out of the house, but if she has to date someone, I’m glad it’s someone like Cam. He’ll be good to her, and maybe she’ll have high standards the next guy will have to work hard to meet.”

“You never know,” Elizabeth teased. “Maybe first love will be forever this time.”

“Maybe.” He cupped his hands around his mouth. “Okay, let’s get the group photos done so we can hit the road.”

The teens complained but it was mostly good-natured, and Elizabeth was sure to encourage shots of just the girls to make sure Joss didn’t feel left out, and only Cameron and Emma took photos as a couple.

“All right, Elizabeth and I are the drop off,” Patrick said as they moved towards the cards. “And—”

“Robin and I are picking up,” Jason confirmed. He opened the door so that Emma could slide into Patrick’s backseat, along with Cameron.

“Call if you want to come home early,” Elizabeth said, her stomach twisting as Trina and Spencer argued over who was going with Elizabeth and Joss. Trina won — and went with Cameron and Emma. Joss’s eyes dimmed a little, but she got into the car anyway.

Jason watched as the two cars pulled out of the driveway, wondering if he should have gone with Elizabeth. He knew the dance was weighing on her mind — it wouldn’t have if Tom Baker hadn’t shown up all those weeks ago and brought back the nightmares.

“Maybe I should have driven Joss,” Carly said, standing at his side. He frowned at her. “She’s having a hard time. You know, Emma and Trina only tolerate her because of Cam.” She sighed. “It’s my fault.”

“They’re just kids,” Jason said, putting an arm around her shoulders. “And they get along better than when they were kids.”

“I guess. And it hasn’t been that bad this year. Not like middle school,” Carly added. “But I’m just—I feel like I set all the wrong examples for Joss. I don’t have any female friends, so she couldn’t even see what it looked like.” She forced a smile. “Maybe I should have been nicer to Elizabeth.”

“Well, yeah, but that’s for other reasons,” Jason said, and she smiled. “Joss is a good kid—”

“But she goes after what she wants and doesn’t always look to see who she’s stepping on. It’s me all over again, Jase, and I’m just worried. I don’t want her to be like me. I want her to know she’s enough, just the way she is.” She exhaled slowly. “But you’re right. It’s better than it used to be.” She flashed him a smile, then poked him in the stomach. “Congratulations, by the way. I haven’t seen you since you told me about the baby.”

“Yeah, we wanted to wait a little while before we told a lot of people,” Jason said as they walked towards the house, following Jake and Aiden in. “But she’s out of the first trimester, so the worst miscarriage risks are past us.”

“You have to tell me everything.”

Port Charles High School: Parking Lot

Elizabeth backed her car into a space so that she was facing the doors. She was only meant to do a drop off, but Joss had been so quiet in the car that Elizabeth didn’t feel right just leaving her. Instead, she was parking and watching the entrance. She didn’t want another girl with sad eyes to be broken.

There was a rapping against her passenger side, and Elizabeth smiled faintly. She unlocked the door and Patrick slid in. “Hey.”

“Hey. You, uh, wanna tell me why we’re staking out the dance?”

“Joss,” Elizabeth murmured. “I’ve been thinking so much about this dance. About Cam and Emma fighting about going — it’s brought back some memories.” She looked at him. “For me. The Valentine’s Day dance. It happened that night. I asked Lucky to go as friends, hoping he’d see me in my dress and realize it was me he wanted all along. But then my sister asked him.”

She stared straight ahead as the sky, pink and orange when they’d arrived, sank into darkness, the streetlights illuminating the parking lot. “He came over to tell me that he was going with her. Like it wasn’t a big deal.”

“Asshole,” Patrick muttered. “He had to know you weren’t asking him as friends. I mean, guys are dumb, but we’re not that dumb. If a girl asks you to do go somewhere as friends, she’s testing the waters.”

“I can’t be angry at him. He’d fantasized about Sarah for months, and had a chance finally.” Her fingers tightened around the wheel. “He went after it. But I was so embarassed and upset, I made up a date to the dance. And I didn’t go. And tonight, I watched another girl feel like she wasn’t wanted hide her misery.” Tears burned at her eyes. “I always felt out of the place. A changeling in the Webber household who didn’t fit the mold and could never meet the expectations my parents set for me.”

“Their loss.”

“It is. It absolutely is. They’re missing out on so much. Not just because I turned out just fine without them, but my boys are special, and would have made their lives so much better.” Elizabeth sighed. “I guess I was scared Joss might want to leave and walk home. Which seems silly—”

“It absolutely does not.”

“I’d never forgive myself if something happened to her. Or any of them. Not just Cam. They’re all mine. Trina has been in and out of my house since she was a kid. Her dad took such good care of me during my rape investigation. And Emma—you know how much I love her. Spencer—he’s lost both his parents and there’s so much anger he tries to hide. But Joss — she’s the one that reminds me the most of who I used to be. She’s just like her mother, too.”

“You’re comparing yourself to Carly?”

Elizabeth smirked. “That’s one of the reasons we couldn’t get along for long. Too much alike. I just got broken at an earlier age. I was selfish, petty, and spiteful. Without the rape, I would have grown up to be a self-centered, vindictive woman who couldn’t make friends—”

“I don’t believe that for a minute.”

“I never did make friends that well,” Elizabeth said. “Emily, Nikolas—they were Lucky’s friends first. Jason,” she murmured. “He was the first friend I made that was all mine. You were the second.”

Patrick reached for her hand. “Hey. Quality over quantity. And you and me, we’re platonic soul mates, you know that right? Robin’s the love of my life and it’s a miracle I get to keep her. To have more kids with her. But you kept me moving through losing her. You helped me raise Emma when I thought I’d screw it up.”

“Best friend I ever had,” Elizabeth said, turning to smile at him. “You don’t have to stay.”

“Nah, I’m with you. Joss reminds me of me, too,” Patrick said. “You’re not the only one who was a selfish teenager who didn’t make friends well. We’ll just tell Jason and Robin that we’ll take the Kelly’s drop off and they can pick up the kids there. I’m sure Laura and Portia will be relieved to have the break.”

“Let’s do that.”

Port Charles Hotel: Gymnasium

The fast beat of Little Mix slid into the slow strands of Ed Sheeran, couples began to gravitate towards one another, and Joss edged her way from the dance floor, her throat tightening as she watched Cameron draw Emma into his arms—and then Spencer hold out a hand to Trina.

And her current crush, Oscar Nero, asking Molly Bainbridge to dance. Joss wandered over to the punch table. It wasn’t like she wanted to date Cameron or Spencer — the passing crush she’d had on Cameron in grade school had mostly been because he’d always been nice to her. Probably because his mother made him.

So honey now
Take me into your loving arms

She lifted the punch to her lips, sipped it and winced at the sugary sweetness.

‘Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it’s evergreen
Baby your smile’s forever in my mind and memory

She didn’t even want a boyfriend, Joss told herself, even as she wistfully watched the other couples swaying to the music.

But baby now
Take me into your loving arms

She’d been so excited for this dance, so sure that she’d pick out this dress and that every guy would want to dance with her. She was pretty, wasn’t she? And she was trying harder to be nicer. Emma had been right — the truce with Trina made things easier.

But a truce didn’t change a decade of rivalry or erase some of the things Joss and Trina had done or said to one another. And she knew they still really didn’t like each other. And Emma and Trina were popular. People liked them.

And nobody, except for Cameron and sometimes Spencer, liked her.

I’m thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are

Finally the song changed into an upbeat Justin Timberlake, and Joss went back to the dance floor because you didn’t need a partner for these songs.

Kelly’s: Parking Lot

“Thanks for the ride,” Cameron told his mother as he held the door open for Emma. “You’re going home this time, right?”

“Yes,” Elizabeth said with a roll of her eyes. The group had been mystified to find Elizabeth and Patrick waiting for them after the dance, and Cameron had complained that maybe his mom didn’t think he was old enough to go to a dance.

So this time, Elizabeth promised — and she’d promised Jason, too, who was worried about her for other reasons. So she watched the kids head into the courtyard, then followed Patrick out of the parking lot and away from the diner.

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Everyone who had joined them at Kelly’s after the dance had someone with them, Joss realized. Or maybe the other groups of kids were just evenly divided. Even Nancy Ohlendorf had a date. Joss huffed as she sat at the table. When girls who liked other girls found a date more easily than she did, that just reminded Joss that she was the problem. Not that she wasn’t happy for Nancy and Julie. She just wanted someone to sit with. To talk to.

She sipped her soda, picked at her French fries, smiling when she was supposed to. But she just wanted to go home. Her house was too far away, but her grandmother’s Brownstone wasn’t, Joss decided.

She got up from the table and went for her coat, her throat tightening when she made it all the way into the courtyard without anyone coming after her. She waited for a moment — but no one came.

They hadn’t noticed she was gone. Wasn’t that a kick in the face? She lifted right out, didn’t she?

Joss turned and headed towards Elm Street, the street quiet with only her footsteps echoing. She dragged her coat more tightly around her, tears burning at her eyes. Her phone wasn’t even vibrating. No one, not even her best friend, knew she was gone.

Your best friend should always notice, Joss thought bitterly, but Cam had been so worried about Joss—

There was a crack—and Joss stopped. Turned to look at the broken lot across the street where the sounds had come from. Then she heard footsteps. Heavy ones. She swallowed hard, straight ahead, and started to walk more quickly. Two more blocks until she got home Two more blocks.

The footsteps were closer now, and Joss was scared. What if she turned around and someone was right there—

There was a honk of a car horn, and then a car was siding to a stop. Joss stopped, recognizing it. “Aunt Liz,” she said breathlessly. “You came back.”

“I had a feeling you’d need me,” Elizabeth told her. She flipped the locks. “Get in.”

Joss yanked the door open, then took a moment to sweep her eyes around the surroundings. There was no one at all. She must have just been more nervous than she’d thought. She slid into the passenger seat, and flashed a smile at Elizabeth. “How’d you know?”

“I just did.” Elizabeth squeezed her hand. “One day, you’re going to look around and you’re going to be surrounded by so many people who love you that you’re not even going to remember tonight,” she told her. “You are a great kid, Joss, and you deserve the world.”

As Elizabeth’s car disappeared down the road, Tom stepped out from the scraggly blushes, grimacing. He’d been so close.

Then he smiled. The pretty blonde with the sad eye was special to Elizabeth, too? Well, well, well. There were just so many options to choose from.

August 5, 2022

Update: Mad World, Book 4 – Chapter 107

Very sorry about missing Flash Fiction this morning. I went to my niece’s pageant last night and the auditorium seats did a number on my back and neck. I should have put ice on them when I came home, but instead, I woke up miserable and spent all day on the sofa, watching Sandman. (brillant btw). Last dose of ice and meds started to make me feel a bit better, and I didn’t want to miss a daily update, so I’m switching up the schedule.

Today, you get a Mad World chapter, and then tomorrow, you get the Scars update for Flash Fiction you were meant to get this morning. There’s a chance my nephew is coming over tomorrow, so that might not be precisely posted at 11, so we’ll see what happens.

This entry is part 32 of 41 in the Mad World: Liberty

A broken shadow falls across your face
As you hesitate
Trying to think of all the things you need to say
Bare faced the truth lies at my feet
As you turn away
Sometimes silence has a way of making peace

A Few Words Too Many, Billie Myers


Monday, April 28, 2004

General Hospital: Stairwell

The lights flashed again, and then the weakened, emergency lights finally kicked in as Elizabeth’s scream echoed in the stairwell. She looked around frantically—

There was no one at the top of the stairs. Her heart was racing as she clutched her son tightly, Cameron’s crying bouncing off the cement walls.

A few feet away from her, Richie was pulling himself to his feet, shaking his head and wincing. “You okay, Mrs. M? You trip or anything?”

“N-No—” Elizabeth sucked in a deep breath. “I was just—I heard you fall, and I—” She closed her eyes, forcing herself to calm down. Her lungs were burning and she didn’t have her oxygen with her. She hadn’t needed it since being released from the hospital. “Are you okay?” she finally managed.

“Yeah, yeah. Tripped when the lights went out.” Richie grimaced as he righted the stroller.

The doors above them opened as someone called out. “Everyone okay here? I heard screaming.”

“Yeah, we’re good. Thanks!” Richie called back. He looked back at Elizabeth, his brows raised. “Right? Or did you want me to get someone?” There was something in his eyes. In his tone. She swallowed hard.

“No. No. I just—” It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real. She hadn’t seen Ric. It was just a trick of her eyes. He’d been on her mind, lurking in the back of it since that stupid bear showed up— “I’m fine. Let’s just go downstairs and get out of here. I need to make a stop before we go home.”

Port Charles Municipal Building: Kelsey’s Office

Scott knocked lightly on the door frame, and Kelsey glanced up. When she realized it was Scott, she sat straight and met his eyes. “You’ve talked to Anna.”

“I have.” He closed the door and came further into the room. “I’m sorry you didn’t feel like you could talk to me about it.”

“You wanted me to drop it.” Her eyes burned into his. “Did you know?”

“That the PCPD had covered up a murder? Of course not!” Scott scowled, then dragged a hand over his face. “But I knew it wasn’t a car accident. Your mom told me it was a stray bullet and that the case was cold. She didn’t even tell me that until a few years ago.” He exhaled slowly. “I never even realized your dad was working for Frank Smith.”

“How—”

“We drifted apart after law school, you know that. And I was in and out of Port Charles. I loved him, Kelse, but if I’d know what was going on, I would have said something. I promise you that. I would have talked him out of it, or hell, forced him into private practice with me. I never would have kept that from you.'”

Kelsey shoved back from the desk. “I don’t understand how Daddy had this whole life and no one ever told me. How could my mother lie to me? How could he—”

“You were just a kid when he died—”

“Is that what you’d tell Serena if this were happening to her? If she found out you did something terrible—”

“There’s a whole lot of shame in my past,” Scott said and Kelsey stumbled to a stop, just staring at him. “I married Jason Morgan’s biological mother when he was a baby and embezzled his trust fund. Did you know that?”

“I—”

“And I definitely got up to no good with Lucy a time or two. No one is perfect. And your parents were human. Finding out what Ollie did as a job—that doesn’t change who he was to you, kid. He was still your father and he loved you.”

Kelsey squeezed her eyes shut. “Mom’s mad at me for bringing this up. For turning the case over to the PCPD. I tried to put it away, Scott. I really did, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t let it go.”

“We might not get answers, sweetheart, but your dad deserves his case to be reopened and investigated properly. You did the right thing. Even if it hurts.”

“Maybe. But maybe I’ll just find out more about my dad I don’t want to know.” Her lip trembled. ‘”There’s no turning back now.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Jason checked the clock on the desk again, frowning. He hadn’t heard from Elizabeth yet. Was she still at the hospital? He’d left her a message to let her know he was done and waiting at home, but—

She was probably fine, he reassured himself. She had her guard, and he knew she’d made it to the hospital since she’d called him before the appointment.  She didn’t have to report to him, Jason reminded himself.

He went to answer the knock on the door, frowning when he saw Sonny there. “Hey. Uh, did you need something?”

“I, uh, thought I’d stop by and—” Sonny smoothed a hand down his shirt. “We haven’t really—we haven’t talked in a few days.”

“No, we haven’t.” Jason stepped aside to let his former partner into the room. Sonny looked around, likely taking in the changes since Cameron had come home. There was a cradle and a changing table next to the fireplace, and a few stuffed animals and other things littered around.

“Is Elizabeth here?” Sonny asked. “I haven’t really had the chance to see her.” He paused. “I mean, if she—I don’t know. Maybe she doesn’t want to see me.”

“We haven’t talked much about it,” Jason said. He closed the door. “But she said she’d be open to it when I was comfortable.” He met Sonny’s eyes. “I’m not there yet.”

“I get it.” Sonny paused. “I’m trying to get it,” he corrected. “It’s been…difficult the last few weeks. I know things weren’t okay before I went to Ferncliffe, but I didn’t know it.” He cleared his throat. “I mean—I knew it. But I didn’t feel about it the same way I do now. That doesn’t make sense—”

“You had the pretense of everything being the same,” Jason said. “You were still in charge even though we both know I’ve been doing everything for months. If you’re here to talk about that—”

“No. I want it back, but then I think about that day.” Sonny looked towards the sofa. “It’s a blur,” he said softly. “If I really think about it, I can remember that she doesn’t look well, but I can’t stop myself. I see her coughing, but then there are arms dragging me back.”

“Max and Cody,” Jason said tightly. “They had to physically remove you because you wouldn’t leave. She was supposed to check into the hospital that day for a safe delivery. Instead, she was rushed in for massive bleeding in her lungs and ended up on ventilator.”

“Did I—” Sonny’s face was gray as he forced out the question. “Did I do that? I know that stress makes the situation worse—”

“No. You didn’t cause the bleeding. That might have happened anyway. But you wasted time. Cody was going to call me when you stormed in. He thought Elizabeth looked sick.” Remembering that, remembering that Cody had always put Elizabeth first even when Jason couldn’t, made him feel slightly guilty for sending the guard away. Even after everything he’d done. “Instead of making that call, he wasted five minutes listening to you scream at her, and then five more getting you out. That’s ten minutes. Enough time to have her almost at the hospital before the bleeding started.”

“There’s no—there’s no apology that can be made for that,” Sonny told him. “Carly will never forgive me for what I did in December, and I know you can’t forgive me for it either. For any of it. I’m trying to be okay with that.”

“I can’t help you get there, Sonny. I spent too much time protecting you. Walking the line to make sure you were okay,” Jason told him. “Stay in therapy, take the meds. That’s all I can say.”

“It’s just—” Sonny looked out towards the window, towards the harbor. “I don’t know what the point is,” he said softly. “I dropped my divorce protest like you asked, but Carly’s still going forward with taking the boys away from me for good. Alexis will never let me near Kristina, and Dante doesn’t want a damn thing to do with me. And there’s no chance that you’ll let me back in. As a friend, as a partner, as a boss—” He closed his eyes. “It’s all gone.”

And with nothing from his life to hold on to, why bother taking the meds? Jason put his hands in his pockets. “It doesn’t have to be,” he found himself saying. Sonny looked at him, opening his eyes in surprise. “The business—I can’t do anything about that. The men won’t follow you. They’ve made it clear to me. I had to fight off a power grab because of it, and the only reason it didn’t go to an all out war is because they felt sorry for me with Elizabeth. That’s it. Her health was the only reason we got a chance to keep it together.”  He paused. “But I’m still here. Elizabeth—she told me that if I wanted to keep you in our lives, she’d be okay with it.”

“She said that, huh?”

“I didn’t know you were seeing Lily and your mother, Sonny. I can’t apologize for what happened the day Elizabeth went into the hospital. Maybe you think I should. But I would have killed you if Carly hadn’t stopped me, and I wouldn’t have regretted it. Maybe you don’t want to be around someone that feels that way.”

Sonny sighed, then looked down at the desk where Elizabeth had set a framed photo of Cameron in the NICU, being held by Jason with Alan by his side. Emily had taken it, and Jason hadn’t argued when Elizabeth had put it on the desk. Sonny picked it up. “I remember how scared you were last summer when Elizabeth was in the coma and they didn’t know if she’d survive the embolism.”

Jason remained silent, so Sonny kept talking. “She’d nearly died to give me back my wife and son. She stayed in that house, ignoring the symptoms, putting herself in danger over and over again to give us a chance to find Carly. She did that for you, I know, but I benefited. And when I think of the way I’ve treated her these last few months—since Carly told me about wanting to testify—” he looked at Jason. “It shames me. The things I said to her. The things I did and said to Carly. I can’t blame the illness. Not all the way. I wish I could. It made it worse, but you were right at Ferncliffe. Sometimes I knew exactly what I was doing and did it anyway.”

He set the frame back down. “You should have killed me that day for what I did to your family, for what I did to my own.” Sonny looked at Jason. “Elizabeth might be okay with me being in your life, but are you?”

“I don’t know,” Jason said. “At the end of the day, Elizabeth and Cameron survived. I have my family. If bending a little on this, if forgiving you helps you stay well, Sonny, and gives you a reason to stay on the medication and in therapy—” he shrugged. “I think it’s worth a try.”

“Thank you for at least considering it.” Sonny touched the frame. “Your kid looks like a fighter. I hope I get to meet him one day.”

“He’s with Elizabeth at GH for a checkup,” Jason told him as he followed Sonny to the door and opened it. “I’ll talk to her and see when she’s ready to have him meet you.”

“Thank you,” Sonny told him. “For at least listening.”

Jason closed the door, then shook his head. He went over to the phone, breathing a sigh of relief. Elizabeth had sent him a text. Cam, a-ok. Stopping somewhere. Be home soon.

The Star Lounge: Office

Johnny closed the door behind him, then answered the phone vibrating in his pocket. “Claudia.”

“Hey, baby brother. You said it was an emergency. Do I have to come and clean up a mess?”

Johnny hissed as he came away from the door, keeping his voice hushed. “Not yet. Are you or Dad up to anything with Morgan? Is he going to break the truce?”

His sister was quiet for a long moment. When she spoke again, her voice was flat and serious. “What’s going on? Is that bastard threatening you? Because—”

“Claudia, don’t bullshit me. Are you up to something? What is Dad planning?”

“First of all, even if Daddy was planning something, he wouldn’t tell me. I only find things out when I screw one of the guards.” The resentment dripped from every word, but Johnny knew she was telling the truth on that score. Anthony only let Claudia in on the family business when he didn’t have a choice — or when she was a witness to one of his rages and had to help clean up the mess.

“Okay, so you don’t know anything.”

“I didn’t say that, just that I’m not planning anything with Daddy. Maybe he’s thinking of calling Morgan’s bluff. I mean, does anyone think that marshmallow is actually going to do anything to you?” Claudia snorted. “Please—”

“He might not, but—” Johnny paused. “What about the guys who work for him and know I’m here for leverage? Jason doesn’t have to do the deed, just look the other way when one of them slits my throat and tosses me on Dad’s doorstep.”

There was silence again on the other end. “I’m not planning anything, John, but I can’t promise Daddy isn’t. What’s going on? I can’t snoop if I don’t know where to look.”

Johnny grimaced. “Something got sent to Morgan’s wife and it’s got him on edge. I’m not gonna say anything other than that. He thinks he can trust me, and he can. I just don’t want any damn surprises, Claudie. If you find out Dad’s planning something, you need to give me a heads up so I can get the hell out of here.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll look into it and see what we find out.”

Luke’s: Office

Luke grumbled and sat up, shoving his cigar in an ashtray. “Claude!” he called, getting to his feet. “Why didn’t you tell me the damn PCPD was here?”

Taggert smirked and walked into the office. “You still expecting Claude to have your back?”

“No.” Luke scowled as he sat back down. “I’ve been expecting you,” he muttered.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Laura told me Kelsey was taking her dad’s case to the Anna, so I figured someone would be along sooner or later.”

He stared at his desk for a long moment. “He’s happy, you know. Working as a cop. Even after everything that’s happened with Dante and all of that. Never could understand it, but you know, Laura likes to help people. Always did. He must get it from her. Lucky’s happy. And Kelsey’s part of it, so…” He shrugged a shoulder, looked at the wall.

“I knew Ollie back in the day—back with the Campus Disco, a club I was running for Frank Smith. Ollie did the books. He was green, just out of law school, and he did not like me.” Luke smirked. “He was Baldwin’s best friend, even though I think they lost touch around that time. Went their different ways.”

“Was Joyce in the business? Or legit?”

“In those days, completely above the board.” Luke grimaced. “You always keep one guy on the outside who can’t be tied to anything. Not saying Ollie didn’t know what was up back in those days, but he wasn’t actively involved. There’s a difference.”

“Yeah.”

“After Smith went to prison, Ollie stayed on with the clubs. Damian took over, but he was a young kid just out of college. I think Ollie helped keep them afloat at first—you know, hiring managers, but the Smiths lost a lot of power and clout without Frank. He still had power inside, but you need someone outside who can make things happen. Damian Smith couldn’t. He didn’t have the same power.”

Luke picked up his cigar, then relit the tip. He took a long puff. “I’m not sure what went on with Ollie after Laura and me split town. When I came back to Port Charles, he was still handling club business and Damian was climbing the ladder. I think there was a power vacuum or something.”

“The Jerome family had fallen,” Taggert told him, and Luke nodded.

“Yeah, that makes sense. Ah, I wasn’t involved mostly at that time, but Frank was trying to pull me back in. He escaped from prison, and I got swept up in all of that.” He looked at Taggert. “I’m a confidential informant, yeah?”

“No one’s looking to get you in trouble, Luke. I know Smith put you and your family through hell. Lucky’s mentioned it.”

“Yeah, well, Damian was taking more control of the clubs, I think, when I moved back. The Campus Disco was gone, but the Paradise Lounge—that, was, ah, Damian’s main front.” He looked at Taggert. “It was managed by Sonny. Frank had known Joe Scully back in New York, and Scully wanted Sonny out of New York after some cop died.”

Taggert tensed. “So he came up here.”

“Yeah, Frank had him take over the club. Damian hated Sonny—hated that his father was still calling the shots.”

“Do you—” Taggert hesitated. “Do you know anything about the cop in New York?”

“Not much. You know, not all cops are great guys.” Luke sat up, leaned forward. “What I heard was Scully was doing Sonny a favor. Getting rid of a cop who’d been beating on his wife, but Sonny was a suspect. Easier to leave town.”

“Beating his—” Taggert shook his head. “That’s—” He stopped. That wasn’t what he was doing here. “Let’s talk about Oliver Joyce.”

“I heard a rumor somewhere, I don’t really remember where now,” Luke admitted, “that Ollie had drifted out of the legit side of the business. He hadn’t meant to, but sometimes—you know, you can’t help yourself. He wasn’t happy about the way the business was run at the Paradise. How the girls were treated.”

Taggert tensed. “Do you think that’s why he’s dead?”

“I can’t tell you that for sure. I wasn’t in the inner circle like that. But,” Luke said, meeting Taggert’s eyes, “I don’t think Frank Smith was paying too much attention to details like that in June of 1994. Ollie wasn’t on his list of priorities.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, then Taggert exhaled on a long breath. “He wasn’t on Frank’s list, but he was on someone’s. Who pulled the job, Luke?”

“I never really knew,” Luke said. “I still don’t. But knowing that Ollie’s death was closed pretty quick, no real investigation?” He shrugged. “When I found out David Case investigated—I knew.”

“Anna said that Case was a dirty cop. He retired in ’97. You know anything else about him?”

Luke waited, then sighed. “The things you do for your boy. Yeah, I know him. He was Sonny’s guy. Sonny lured him in at the Paradise with some girls, got some dirt on him, then paid him off until retirement.”

“Sonny’s guy,” Taggert repeated. “Not Frank’s. You didn’t tell Lucky that. You let him think he was Sonny’s inheritance from Frank.”

“That’s when I thought I could get Lucky to leave it alone.” Luke hesitated. “Sonny told me that he’d wanted a cop in his pocket that was loyal only to him. Not Frank or his kid. He had plans. He thought Port Charles was a good place to get power, and he wanted a hell of a lot of it.”

Taggert scrubbed his hands over his face. “God damn it.”

“I told Lucky—what I know can’t be proved. I’m sorry for it, I’m sorry for Kelsey. She’s a nice kid. But her dad played with some real bad people, and he didn’t get out soon enough.”

Taggert nodded, then made a face. “You said Ollie wasn’t happy about the girls at the Paradise. How? What was the issue?”

“Sonny used to traffic in girls,” Luke told him. “He stopped after the Paradise, at least as far as I know. Fed them drugs so they’d dance with less…” He wiggled his fingers. “They were looser,” he said. “I never liked it either, but I wasn’t in a position to argue. Sonny wanted Smith out of the way, and I needed Smith gone.”  He hesitated. “Karen Wexler worked at the Paradise.”

“Karen—” Taggert winced. “Did—did Ollie know Karen was his kid?”

“I don’t know. I never knew when Scott found out, so I can’t say when or what Ollie knew. I just know he and Sonny didn’t get along.” Luke looked at him. “I know how you feel about Sonny. You think there’s any chance of getting him on this?”

“I don’t know.” Taggert got to his feet. “But I guess we’re gonna find out.”

The Cellar: Office

Carly practically shot out of her seat when Elizabeth appeared in the doorway of her office, holding Cameron in a baby carrier. “Oh my God, is that Cameron?” she squealed. She hurried around her desk, then frowned when she realized Elizabeth was alone and her eyes were bloodshot. “What’s wrong? Where’s Jason?”

“He’s—” Elizabeth closed her eyes and swayed a little. Carly took her arm and with her other hand, took the carrier. She led her over to the sofa, helping her to sit, setting the baby between them. “He’s at home. Waiting for me. I just—I needed a minute before I went there. I’m sorry. I knew you were working—”

“It’s fine—” Carly sat next to her and took in her first real look at the dozing baby. She hadn’t realized just how little Cameron still was. She’d seen pictures, but at the same time—she’d thought— “He’s big enough to be home?”

“What? Oh—” Elizabeth focused on her son, then leaned forward to unfasten the straps. “Here. You haven’t had a chance to hold him, have you?”

Carly lifted Cameron into her arms, her heart aching at just how different his weight felt from the day she’d held Morgan after giving birth. Morgan had been healthy and full-term, weighing almost twice as much as Cameron.

“The doctor said he was doing better than expected,” Elizabeth said, a smile lighting up her face. “I know he still doesn’t look like other babies. I mean, he’s perfect to me, but—”

“No, no, I didn’t mean—it just—I don’t want to hurt him,” Carly told her. “You know? He seems…” Breakable. “Fragile.”

“He’s stronger than he looks. Jason wants to have you over this weekend to meet him. We’ve just been getting him into a routine, and I’ve messed that up—” Elizabeth dragged her hands through her hair and got to her feet, starting to pace. “I just—I need to get myself under control before I go home.”

“Okay,” Carly said with a nod. “And you came to me.”

“I did. Because I know you’ll understand.” Elizabeth turned to face her, folding her arms. “A bunch of the families and business people sent us gifts, and one of them—it was a bear. A bear that looked just like one Ric gave me for the baby last year.” She closed her eyes. “I put it out of my head. I had to. And most of the time, I don’t think about Ric anymore, but it’s hard. Because so much of what I’m dealing with is because of him. I still have to have surgery because of Ric. Cameron was born premature because of Ric. And this bear—” She looked away. “It just came back to me, and I shoved it out again.”

“You told Jason about it?” Carly asked, readjusting Cameron in her arms. “What did he say?”

“We both decided it was a coincidence and he took it away. But today, at the hospital — the storm was making the lights flicker, so I took the stairs. The lights went out, and it was all dark.”

Carly’s throat tightened. Small, dark space. “What happened?”

“The guard—he fell—but it was just—it was all so quick—we were in the dark, and all of a sudden, I felt like I was back in the crypt, and then the lights flashed, and I thought I saw—” She gulped in a breath. “I thought I saw Ric.”

“You thought—”

“I didn’t. I didn’t,” Elizabeth added. “I know it wasn’t him. There wasn’t anyone,” she continued. “Because the lights came back on right away, and there wasn’t anyone there. I imagined it. I thought I heard someone attacking Richie, but he’d just tripped with the stroller and fell down the stairs.”

She rubbed her arms. “I’m okay,” she repeated. “I just needed a minute, and Richie—he wouldn’t understand. I didn’t tell him. He wasn’t there. He’s new, you know. And he hasn’t—”

“He hasn’t been there long.” Carly tipped her head. “I know about Cody. I’m sorry. It’s hard to have a guard following you around, so it’s better when you can trust and know them. I always felt better with Max or Rocco.”

“It’s not Richie. I don’t think. I don’t know. It was just—” Elizabeth sighed and sat down. “He heard me screaming, and he looked at me like I was insane. That’s exactly what it was. Because he doesn’t know me or what I’ve been through. And it’s been months since I had a panic attack. I know I didn’t see Ric. I know he wasn’t there.”

“You had your son with you, alone with just a guard,” Carly said. “A guard you don’t know very well yet. And you’ve got Ric in your head.” She paused. “The first time I came back to the Cellar after getting out of the crypt, I had a panic attack. Because it’s underground without any windows. And then I had a few more after December. I hear Ric in my dreams. And then sometimes I think he’s in the room with me.”

“Still?” Elizabeth said.

“Yeah. More since Jason told us he was dead. I thought it would help knowing it was over,” Carly said. “But knowing and feeling it are different. How many times have you left the penthouse since Cameron was born without Jason?”

Elizabeth wrinkled her nose. “Today was the first time,” she admitted.

“There you go. You were already on edge and didn’t even know it.” Carly paused. “You should talk to Jason. If you’re not comfortable with Richie, you need to tell him that.”

“But—”

“No buts,” Carly said firmly, getting to her feet and readjusting the baby who was starting to fuss. She handed him back to his mother. “We put up with a lot to exist in that life,” she continued. “The one thing you absolutely deserve is to be able to trust the man who’s supposed to protect you. And you don’t. If you think Richie’s judging you for what happened today, it’s going to be harder to build that trust. And—” she paused. “If you’re struggling with Ric and all of that, Jason should know that, too. I didn’t tell anyone but Kevin about the panic attacks. I never let Sonny in, not until it was too late. Don’t make that mistake.”

Luke’s: Bar

“Hey, isn’t it a little early?” Dante joked as he slid onto a stool next to Cruz while Lucky wiped a glass behind the bar.

“I’m here for the cheese fries,” Cruz said. “Didn’t think you’d show.”

Lucky set a Rolling Rock in front of Dante. “Thought you’d be busy at work,” he said with a raised brow. Dante rolled his eyes and took a long pull. “You do make a mean bowl of chili, I’ll be honest.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dante looked at Cruz. “I was thinking about maybe coming back to the apartment. The press is long gone, so they probably won’t bother us.”

“Are we still pretending that’s the only reason you moved out?” Cruz asked, turning slightly to face Dante fully. “Because staying at Kelly’s made it easier for you to make googly eyes at his sister.”

Lucky winced. “Hey, I can be completely okay with Dante dating Lulu as long as we don’t talk about it.” He rolled his shoulders. “As far as I’m concerned, they play checkers.” He paused, then focused on Dante. “But are you serious? Are you done with Kelly’s?”

“Done with living there,” Dante corrected.

“Excellent timing,” Cruz said, “Maxie was planning an intervention.”

Dante grimaced. “Oh, hell—”

“Yeah, I don’t even want to know what that would have looked like,” Lucky said, shaking his head. “What about the department?”

“I—” He paused. “I’m starting to think about it, but like I’ve been saying to your sister—if I do, I gotta be ready for the press to start all over again. I’m not there yet.”

Cruz nodded. “Yeah, that’s fair. I mean, we can say we want you back, and we do. Spencer doesn’t even blame you for getting him shot—” Lucky flicked a pretzel at him. “But if it you makes you feel better, the PCPD’s about to have another scandal that might dwarf yours.”

“Oh, yeah?” Dante straightened. “What’d they do this time?”

“They might have covered up the murder of Kelsey’s father,” Lucky said grimly. Dante stared at him. “Yeah, you’re a little out of the loop. Let me catch you up.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Jason knew something was wrong the minute the door opened, and Elizabeth maneuvered the stroller through. She glanced at Richie. “Thank you, Richie.” Then she looked away and smiled at Jason. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He brushed a kiss against her cheek, then looked at Richie. “We’re in for the day,” he told the guard. “So you can take off.”

“Uh—” Richie glanced at Elizabeth again. “Sure thing. I’ll hang out down in security for a while if you change your mind.”

Jason closed the door behind the guard and looked at Elizabeth as she took Cameron out of the stroller. “I have a bottle waiting,” he told her. “I’ll go get it.”

“Okay.”

While Elizabeth fed Cameron, Jason folded up the stroller and put it in the closet, along with her coat, then tucked the diaper bag away. “You said the appointment went all right?” he asked, sitting next to her. “Did you get caught in the storm? I didn’t know how bad it was going to get. We lost power here for about ten minutes.”

“Yeah, um, about that.” Elizabeth sighed and let him tuck her into his embrace. She curled into his side, rearranging herself so that Cameron was comfortable, too. “Dr. Devlin said Cameron is doing better than expected. If he keeps the same pace, he’ll catch up by his first birthday.”

“That sounds like good news,” Jason said, frowning. He smoothed a thumb down Cameron’s cheek, reassuring himself that their son was all right.

“It was after. Um, the storm was bad, you know. And the lights kept flickering, even at the hospital. I decided to take the stairs because I didn’t want to get stuck in the elevator.”

“Okay—”

“The lights went out while we were there. Um, I heard Richie fall, but I thought—” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “I had a panic attack. It was really dark, and I just went—my mind went directly to the crypt.”

Jason tightened his other arm around her, drawing her in more tightly. “I should have been there—”

“No, no, it’s not—it was just—the lights flickered, and for a minute I thought I saw Ric.” She blinked at him when he clenched his jaw. “I know I didn’t. No one was there. It was just my mind playing tricks on me, but I guess he’s been in the back of my mind more than I thought, and it was just—it was dark. I’m okay. We’re okay.”

“Okay.” Jason paused. “Then what’s the problem with Richie? You were acting strangely when you came back.”

“You really notice everything.” Elizabeth grimaced. “The lights were out for maybe thirty seconds, you know, and it all happened so fast. When they went back on, I had—I had screamed, and I probably looked upset and a little crazy. Richie—he just looked at me weird, you know? It’s fine,” she added. “He doesn’t know me very well yet, and I don’t know him. So we’re just—it’s bumpy.”

Jason exhaled slowly. He could tell she was more upset about being embarrassed than she was about the panic attack, and it killed him because he knew—he absolutely knew—that she wouldn’t feel that way if Cody had been with her. Cody would have made her feel safe. “Okay.”

“I took Cam to see Carly afterwards. I just wanted to calm down, and I knew she’d understand. I really am fine, it just shook me and I felt stupid, you know? It was just a storm.” Elizabeth leaned her head against his shoulder. “I’m okay.”

“I know, but I’ll talk to Marco. You know him better than Richie. I’ll have him switch to days. He likes nights better, but I’d rather you have someone you feel comfortable with during the day. And I’ll work on finding a new day guard.”

“Oh—Jason, you don’t have to—I don’t want to cause any trouble.”

“You’re not. It’s only been a few days, and it wouldn’t be the first time we’ve changed up guard duty. It’s not a big deal,” Jason promised her. “I’ll make sure Richie understands. He probably isn’t the right guy to be with you.”

“If you’re sure,” Elizabeth said.

“I’m sure.” He kissed her forehead. “Tell me more about the appointment. How much did Cameron weigh?”