December 31, 2024

Update Link: Dear Reader – Part 8

I’m feeling a little sad, lol, because tomorrow I’m doing a 2024 Retrospective & 2025 Preview video for the channel (well, it’s in my schedule — will it get done? who knows!) and after that, the Recent Updates page gets archived. I relaunched it this year with a better organization, and it’s just honestly crazy to me how much I wrote this year.

I published Book 2 of Fool Me Twice and Book 1 of These Small Hours. I wrote the skeleton of the Hours trilogy which is going to let me publish two more novels within the first six months of next year. I also wrote three full-length Flash Fictions: Hits Different, Chain Reaction, and Warning Shots (each of which was more than 80K), an entire short story collection (Folklore), two novellas, and an episode tag.

In the first nine months.

I honestly find that kind of stunning. It’s hands down the best year since 2020, and it’s probably even better than that because of how much of the Flash I wrote and how regular I was with posting.

Anyway, none of that is possible without you guys reading. The supporters at Patreon who keep the light on and keep me funded so that I don’t need a second job in the summer and can write more or less full-time.

Thank you, and I’m looking forward to another great year!

This entry is part 8 of 8 in the Dear Reader

Written in 55 minutes. I meant to have a second scene but this first one just took time to get right, but I’m happy with how it came out.


Dear reader
The greatest of luxuries is your secrets

The moment Jake learned that his father was still alive was burned in his brain, doomed to repeat itself on a loop, to be etched forever as a symbol of the fucked up relationship he’d had with his father since the day he’d returned from Greece.

He’d been lounging on his bed, switching back and forth between Snapchat and Tiktok, plotting how to sneak out with friends that weekend, endlessly scrolling instead of rolling over and going to sleep. Then he’d gotten an alert, a 911 text from a friend whose father worked at the PCPD.

yo dude they put out a apb on ur dad thats hella weird aint he dead

Jake had jerked straight up, his blood running cold, reading the words over and over again. He’d wanted it to be a lie. He’d tried everything.

hes dead dickwad april fools is for kids im gonna kick ur ass when i see u

There was no such thing as silence, not truly. He’d sat in that room, not speaking, not moving, but he was suddenly aware of every single sound. The creak of the steps when his brother sprinted down them, the wind from his open window, the cars pulling to a stop at the traffic light a block away, the squeal of brakes from those who waited too long—

no cap dude look its all over news turn on tv

His friend had attached the screenshot of an article from the Port Charles Sun website — COP SHOT BY MOBSTER BACK FROM THE DEAD!

Below the headline he found his father. They’d used one of his many mugshots and Jake had stared at that image — it was from his arrest the year he’d died. When the PCPD thought he’d murdered Franco. Everyone thought it — Cameron, Aiden, everyone at school — even his mother, who was careful not to say and had always defended Jason, harbored doubts.

But Jake never had. His dad was a complicated guy who’d done some crimes, sure. But cold-blooded murder? Of Jake’s stepfather?  No fucking way. And Jake had been right. Jason had been exonerated, and the world had gone back to normal for a while.

Until the tunnels in Greece had stolen his father away for good this time. He’d died trying to help someone, his mother had said, fighting back tears. It was a devastating loss for them all, Jake knew. Jason was more than just his dad, he was Mom’s best friend, and always had been.

Jake stared at the image for a long moment, then went back to the messages.

its a mistake my dad is dead theyre wrong

idk theres a vid ill try to find out more maybe its good news its cool if he came back right don’t u want ur dad to be alive?

Desperately.

He’d never answered his friend, had tossed the phone aside, and gone for the television downstairs, only to find Aiden already glued to the screen, and by the time his mother had called from the hospital, Jake knew it was true.

His dad was alive. He was wanted for trying to kill Dante. But this time Jake couldn’t believe in his dad. How could he?

His dad had pretended to be dead for over two years. If he could do that — if he could fake his death and run away from all of them, then maybe Jake had never known him at all.

It didn’t matter that his father was exonerated of that, too. Or that he’d showed up looking older and more worn — more tired — but still looking like his dad. It didn’t matter that he said all the right things or that his mother very carefully tried to support Jake while defending Jason —

None of that mattered.

Because there’d been that moment, that awful moment, and Jake couldn’t turn it off. Couldn’t ignore it. He tried for his mother, he tried for his brother, he tried for himself, and he thought he’d managed it. His dad paid for school, went with him to the airport, and they’d talked a few times on the phone — but never for long. And nothing more than a check in.

Because Jake couldn’t stop remembering that night, sitting in his room, the horrible, awful feeling that his father had left them. Left him.

And it was that anger that had exploded today, that anger that fueled Jake as he drove away from his mother’s house, driving aimlessly after dropping Aiden off at his boyfriend’s.

When he found himself near Kelly’s, his stomach rumbled, reminding him that he’d skipped breakfast and lunch. Jake pulled into the parking lot, hoping he could duck in and out without running into anyone.

He scanned the inside of the diner from the courtyard, but he’d missed Michael sitting in the back corner with his daughter. His cousin lifted a hand in greeting, and Jake sighed, knowing he couldn’t walk away. He scanned his memory for the kid’s name — Amy or something — and headed back.

“This is a nice surprise.” Michael rose and hugged Jake lightly. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, but it was in a sad way, Jake thought, not a lying way. “We haven’t ordered yet, so you can join us.” He tilted his head. “Unless you’re in a hurry.”

To go back home? Not a chance. “Nah. This is a good. It’s, uh, nice to see you. I guess. Not—” He winced, dropped into the chair across from his cousin. “That’s not what I meant. I mean—”

“I get it. You’re home for a sad reason, so yeah, I’m glad we can catch up but I wish we couldn’t, you know?”

“Yeah.” Jake released his first easy breath. “Yeah, that’s it.” He picked up the menu, pretended to read it. “Um, how are you? The kids—” He peered over the menu to the toddler who beamed at him.

“Growing up way too fast,” Michael said, dumping a few more puffs on the kid’s little tray. “Amelia will be two in a few months. I don’t really know where the time’s gone, you know? Wiley just turned six.”

“Six,” Jake repeated. He rubbed his temple. “That did happen fast.”

Michael opened his mouth, but the waitress came over before he could say anything. When she’d left, taking their orders with her, he folded his arms on the table, leaned forward. “Are you okay? I mean, I know you’re probably worried about your brother, but I don’t know, you just look—” He wrinkled his nose. “Not that it’s any of my business.”

“Seems to be the theme today,” Jake muttered, then sighed when Michael lifted his brows. “I dunno. I’m still mad at my dad,” he admitted. “And…um, well, your dad came by my house today. I guess you should know that.”

“My dad? Why?” Michael asked suspiciously. “Not that he can’t, but he and your mom aren’t, like, super close.”

“No, clearly. They were arguing — or he was yelling at her—and it all just kind of—” Jake pressed his lips together. “Did you know that my mom lied to my dad about me? I mean, that he was my father?”

Michael’s mouth parted and his eyes widened. “Whoa—oh, man, is that what my dad said? That’s like ancient history. Why would he bring it up?”

Jake reached for a napkin, began to shred it into tiny pieces. “I dunno. Something about my mom being the reason my dad thinks he’s not a good father or some shit like that. I didn’t overhear a lot, because Dad showed up and he was really.”

“Yeah, no kidding.” Michael dragged a hand down his cheek. “Oh, man,” he repeated. “I can’t even begin to think why Dad thought that was a good idea, but well, it’s not like he’s had a lot of common sense this year, and I wish like hell I could blame the way Ava screwed with his meds, but I can’t. Parents are exhausting, you know that?”

Jake snorted, feeling the first stirrings of amusement. “Yeah, they definitely are. But you probably win that contest.”

“Oh, definitely. Listen, we could get into the wildness that was that era because I do know some of it,” Michael admitted, “but I gotta tell you, as someone who once learned a whole lot of awful things about my childhood and what went down before I was born, it’s a slippery slope. Because your parents are humans who make giant mistakes, and it’s hard to go back to when they were just…you know, your parents.”

The waitress returned with their drinks, and Jake reached for his soda, considering Michael’s words. He swirled the straw in his glass. “I always knew Dad was complicated. I mean, even before he came home after the Cassadines took him and that coma thing — I had Drew—” He hesitated when he saw Michael’s mouth tighten, but it was gone so quickly he thought he imagined it. “But Drew was supposed to be Jason Morgan, right? So, like, you can’t grow up and not know. And he was always in and out of trouble. It’s just, like, that always seemed separate. Like that guy was—” Jake gestured. “Out there. And my dad was this other guy.”

“You separate them,” Michael said nodding in agreement. “Because you can’t really make it work in your head how they’re the same guy. I definitely get that, Jake.”

“But I always thought my dad—” Jake paused, took a deep breath. “I always knew he loved me. He was so careful, you know, when he came home. So super cool if I wanted to be around Drew. Just really let me get through how weird it was. But we did get through it.” His throat tightened. “We really got through it, and then he was just my dad, and I could, like, always call him. And my mom, she’s always been the best. I basically thought she was perfect. Even when I knew she wasn’t, she was my mom.”

“And now they both feel like strangers,” Michael said gently.

Jake couldn’t look up, his vision slightly blurred. “Yeah.”

“I’ve been where you are, Jake. It’s not easy. It’s the hardest thing I ever did—confronting who my parents were — and some of the things they did that affected me. It was impossible for a while, actually. I walked away from them both because I couldn’t find a way through my anger. I couldn’t stop being angry.”

“Yeah?” Jake lifted his head. “How’d you fix it?”

“I didn’t. It can’t be fixed. You can’t go back to who you were before. There’s no magic trick. But I can love my mother, I can be in a room with my father. I can be around my parents, and have them in my life. It took time, Jake. But the day is gonna come when you’ll wake up and realize that your parents still love you. That you still love them. And you’re not as angry anymore. At least not at them.”

Jake sighed. “Okay, but what if I just punch someone? Do you think that would help?”

Michael’s lips twitched and he leaned back. “Oh, yeah, that’s your dad talking. You’d feel better for a little while, but you’re an artist, Jake. It’s not worth it.”

“I hate that you’re right. It’s annoying.”

Michael grinned now, the humor reaching his eyes and lighting up his whole face. “Yeah, yeah, that’s what Joss says, too. Being the oldest is a heavy cross to bear, but somehow I manage it gracefully.

December 27, 2024

Update Link: Dear Reader – Part 7

Updating a bit early tonight because I wanna log off the computer for a change and take a break from social media. We finally got a preview from the GH writing team, and well — I’m not particularly thrilled. I’ve enjoyed GH more in the last eight months than in the last decade, and even more so since August but it looks like they’re going with Lucky and Elizabeth as a couple, and I’m just soooo completely over that pairing. The preview dropped and it’s all over my feed, so I wanna take a break, lol. I’m used to not having Liason — that’s why I write fanfiction — but I was realllly looking forward to enjoying Elizabeth’s stories with the OLTL pets gone. Still holding on to hope that they’ll change their minds but well, who knows.

Anyway — it’s been an annoying day for lots of reasons, and that didn’t help so writing early and then going to do something else tonight. See you on Monday!

This entry is part 7 of 8 in the Dear Reader

Written in 62 minutes. The ending got away from me, lol, I was going to wrap it up and then they kept talking —  story of my damn life with these two.


Dear reader
You don’t have to answer, just ’cause they asked you
(You should find another)

Aiden peered through the window, trying to get a better angle on the driveway. “I can’t see them. Maybe they left.”

Elizabeth rubbed her cheeks, trying to erase all evidence of her furious tears not wanting Jake or Jason to know how upset she’d been. She went into the kitchen, switched the faucet to cold water and splashed her face.

Aiden came to the doorway of the kitchen. “Mom?”

“I’m fine. I’m fine. It’s okay.” She turned, looked at her youngest son. “Really. It’s—you know, adults they have fights and Sonny was having a bad day—”

“He sounded really mad at you,” Aiden said dubiously, and Elizabeth exhaled in a short huff. “I didn’t know you knew each other like that—”

“We don’t. We really don’t.” Not well enough for Sonny to be lobbing such horrible words at her, words that she’d thought deep down—accusations that he’d clearly been holding on to for a long time. Had Jason said them once upon a time? Had he buried resentment for how she’d handled things?

With that horrible thought now lurking, she bit down on her bottom lip, drying her hands on dish towel. “Aiden, I know you’ve got a lot of questions. I just—I don’t know any answers.”

“I don’t even know what I’d ask.” Aiden stuck his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans. “I don’t know if I ever thought about before I was born. You and Dad have never been together from what I remember, but it sounds like—were you married when Jake was born?”

Damn Sonny Corinthos and his big mouth. “Yes. Technically—” Elizabeth winced. “It’s complicated, Aiden, and it’s not something I want to explain to you right now.” Or ever.

“Yeah, I get that. I just—is Jason why you and Dad got divorced? I’m not judging you, Mom—”

Oh, but he would. They all would. Just like they had then. After being forced to admit her night with Jason on the stand, rumors had swirled about Jake for years—no one had been all that surprised when they were confirmed after the accident. Angry. Upset. But not surprised.

And that wasn’t long after she’d gone through that horrifying period when her affair with Nikolas with had become public. Oh, God. Why was it all coming back now? Why, why

“I don’t want to upset you, Mom. So forget I asked—”

“The reasons your father and I aren’t together are…not entirely for me to say,” Elizabeth said finally. “There are things I don’t know if Lucky wants me to talk about without him. Or at all.” And they were Lucky’s secrets, his shame to keep. They had nothing to do with who she was now, or his relationship with Aiden.

She gripped the counter in front of her, sorting through the chaos in her head, debating at what to do. She wanted to run after Jake—but Jason had seemed so sure—

And, oh, what had Jason told Sonny for him be so angry at Elizabeth? Had Jason told him about last night?

“Mom—”

“Aiden, I appreciate that you’re confused and upset about what just happened here, and God, I would really like to reassure you. To make that go away, but I can’t, okay? So just give me a minute. Please.”

When she saw Aiden flinch, look down, her stomach sank even more. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I just—okay. Okay—” She came around the counter, took him by the shoulder and guided him towards the sofa, trying to find her balance again. To find her center. It had taken so long to come to terms with the mistakes of her past—to forgive herself—

Why hadn’t it occurred to her that someone might want to use them against her some day? And she remembered, too vividly, the betrayal Lucky had felt when his parents’ past had been thrown in his face by Nikolas.

“I’m sorry—”

“Don’t apologize, baby.” Elizabeth sat Aiden on the sofa, then perched on the coffee table across from him. She rubbed her forehead. “Your father and I dated in high school, then we were apart for a while when he was kidnapped by the Cassadines. We talked about that once, remember?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. She waited for him to look at her, with those curious eyes that reminded her so much of Lucky during those halcyon days. “When he came home, we tried again. We even got married, but it was never really the same. We loved each other, but sometimes things happen. We had some really difficult rough patches. We divorced, and during that time, Jake—well, Jake happened. Your father and I remarried but we divorced again within the year. We tried again and we got you, but we couldn’t love each other anymore. Not the way either of us deserved. The reasons we broke up — the reasons we took those breaks — they’re painful, baby, and they’re deeply personal, and your father and I will have a conversation about whether or not we want to share any of it with you. You can ask as many questions as you like, but I won’t promise to answer.”

Aiden pressed his lips together. “I guess that’s fair. I know Jake’s dad was mad when he said it, but I guess he’s kind of right. Me and Jake, we don’t really have a right to know stuff like that. But it’s just—”

“It’s out in the world now, and you’re curious. I understand that, I really do. And I’ll talk to your father. I promise. We’ll try very hard to figure out something that we can all live with. Lucky might even want to tell you some of those things. But it’s his story to tell just as much as it’s mine. Just like Jason’s story is his, and not mine to tell to you or to Jake.”

“I—” Aiden was interrupted when the doorknob twisted behind them. Elizabeth was already up and crossing the living room when Jake came in, Jason just behind him. Jason looked worn out and Jake looked miserable —

Oh, but he’d come back and that was something, wasn’t it?

“Jake—” Elizabeth stopped herself from reaching for her son, clasped her hands together. “I’m glad you came back in. We need to talk—”

“Dad answered some of my questions, I guess. The important ones. And I guess I—” he stopped, grimaced. “I guess I still don’t really understand any of it, but if you lied about who my dad was, it’s not like you lied to me. At least that I remember. You always said Dad—anyway—” He looked away, his throat working hard when he swallowed hard. “Dad said he forgave you, and maybe I don’t get that, but whatever. It’s not my thing to understand.”

“I’ve never really understood it either if that helps,” Elizabeth admitted. “You have to know I deeply regret it. I’d give anything to take it back—” She looked at Jason now. “Anything in the world to have that moment back to do the right thing.”

“So would I,” Jason replied. He came out from behind Jake, touching his son’s shoulder lightly. “But I understand if you’re still upset. If you still have questions. I just—”

“Yeah, I know. You and Mom probably wanna get together with Aiden’s dad and come up with a story or something.”

Elizabeth frowned. “I don’t—I don’t want to come up with a story, Jake. I’m not trying to lie about what happened. It’s just—”

“Whatever. I’m done talking about this. I put my suitcase in your trunk last night,” he told his mother. “Can I have your keys so I can get it?”

“Of course.” Elizabeth hurried to the hook, snatched her keys down and held them out. “Whatever you need—”

“What I need is to get out of here for a little while. Can I borrow the car when I’m done or do you need it?”

“I—” Elizabeth pressed her lips together, folded her arms, tried to keep her voice even. She wanted to keep talking, wanted to keep Jake right where she could see him, but he wasn’t looking at her. Hadn’t even met her eyes since he’d come back in— “Of course. You—you probably want to check in friends. Take the car. Take whatever you need.”

“Hey, maybe you can drop me off at Tobias’s,” Aiden said, appearing from behind Elizabeth. “I, uh, think maybe Mom needs a minute.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Jake looked at Jason, lifted his chin a little defiantly. “I came back in like you asked. Can I go now?”

Jason tensed, and Elizabeth could tell he wanted to say something else, but he just nodded. “Yeah. Okay. We’ll talk later.”

“Can’t wait,” Jake muttered. He yanked the door open, and left, Aiden hurrying behind.

When the door closed, Elizabeth’s shoulders sagged and she turned away from Jason, putting her head in her hands. What the hell had just happened? What the hell had just happened?

“I’ll talk to Sonny. I’ll make sure he never comes back here — that he stays away from you and the boys.”

She fisted her hair in her hands, tugging so that the pricks of pain at her scalp blunted some of the swirling discomfort in her abdomen, the tightness in her chest. “Why he did he do  this? Why did he come here and—”

Elizabeth turned finally, looked at him, the tears she’d struggled to hold back burning. “What did you say to him that made him come here and attack me? I did nothing to him—I did—” She brought a fist to her mouth, bit down on her knuckle. “Aiden’s asking questions and if he asks the wrong person, he’ll find out about Lucky’s drug addiction, and God, maybe about Maxie and Sam, and we’ve all moved on from that. That’s the last thing anyone needs. And what if someone tells him about Nikolas? About—” Fury crawled up her throat and she looked at Jason again, standing there, stone silent. “What did you say to him?”

“Nothing that justifies this—”

“You must have said something—” She broke off before she said something she couldn’t take back. She wasn’t the victim here. And Jason wasn’t the villain. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I can’t think straight, okay? I was going to call you, to apologize for how I handled that conversation last night, and then Sonny—”

“You did nothing wrong,” Jason said, taking a step forward. “Okay? Sonny’s angry at me. He’s—he’s disappointed in me. Just like you are. Because I don’t—I don’t know why,” he muttered. “Everyone thinks I’m supposed to have the answers, that I’m supposed to know the right thing to do—”

Elizabeth blinked as he turned away, his jaw clenched, the vein in his throat bulging. “Jason—”

“I told him that I was handling this, that I wanted to make sure I was doing right by Danny, but it’s not good enough for him. It’s not good enough for you—”

“That’s not what I—”

“What exactly am I supposed to do?” Jason demanded, turning back to her, his voice raised. “Drag Danny out of the Quartermaines? Shove him in that room above Bobbie’s? I don’t even have my own bathroom. Or maybe I’m supposed to take him back to the penthouse without his mother or sister—”

“No one said—”

“Alexis buried a grandchild and a daughter, and I’m supposed to tell her I’m going to fight her in court? What would I even tell a judge?” Jason demanded. “Hey, I’ve been dead for two years, but I promise I’m a good father?”

“Okay. Let’s—” Elizabeth held out a hand. “Let’s just take a deep breath. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry,” she said again when he just looked at her. “I was so wrong last night, so frustrated with you, and impatient, and I had no right to be.”

“You didn’t do anything—”

“Don’t forgive me so easily. Please don’t.” Elizabeth folded her arms. “It’s just—okay, I was worried you wouldn’t fight for Danny, but you’re so right. You’re handling this exactly the way you should be. It’s not a cut and dried situation. Especially with Scout involved. I’m sorry,” she said again.

“Don’t apologize to me. Even if I agreed that you were wrong, and I don’t, I know you’re just  trying to help. I know that.” Jason looked towards the door. “It’s not enough that I can’t fix Danny’s life—Jake’s angry at me for defending you, and he’s angry at you and he shouldn’t be. He shouldn’t be, okay?”

She bit her lip, looked at the ground. “I never expected anyone to tell him about…about all of that. It  felt like everyone had moved on. I mean, you and Jake, you had each other—”

“Elizabeth, you told me the truth before Jake was born,” he reminded her. He took a step towards her, waiting until she looked up, met his eyes. “You don’t get to argue with why I forgave you in that elevator, and Jake doesn’t get to sit in judgment with either one of us for it. He can be angry at me for not being in his life, for letting the lie stand for as long as it did — but I walked away from you and the boys. I made that a permanent choice—”

“But I started it—”

“I finished it.” He rubbed her shoulder. “We forgave each other a long time ago for all of that. We did that to each other. Sonny doesn’t get an opinion. Neither does Jake.”

“I never wanted my boys to know how horrible I was. How many terrible decisions I made — I was reckless and stupid, and I deserved every bit of pain—but they don’t deserve  this. Aiden has so many questions, and—” Elizabeth closed her eyes, took a deep breath. “No. No. You’re right. We forgave each other. Lucky forgave me. The two of you are civil, and that’s what matters. We’ll focus on making sure Jake is okay, and I’ll talk to Lucky to see what he wants to do, but Sonny—”

“I’m going to talk him as soon as I can be sure I don’t put him through a window. I can’t believe he came here—” Jason broke off, shook his head. “I don’t know what he was thinking.”

“He thinks that I’m the reason you don’t think you’re a good father.” Elizabeth bit her lip, searched his expression. “Is that what you think? That you’re not a good father?”

“It’s—” Jason exhaled. “It’s not because of you. Okay? And being a good father — whether I am or not, that’s up to Jake and Danny. It’s whether or not I have a right to force myself on my sons when I took myself out of their lives.”

“But you didn’t choose to do that. You didn’t—” Elizabeth went still when Jason looked away. “You said you couldn’t contact us. That you couldn’t come home. But you didn’t choose to leave, did you? To make us think you were dead—you wouldn’t do that—” She broke off, her voice faltering when Jason remained silent.

Elizabeth stepped back, hugging herself more tightly. “Did you know we thought you were dead, Jason?”

“Y-yes. I—I knew.” Jason took a deep breath. “I can’t tell you more than that—”

“Does Sonny know where you were? Does Carly?”

“Elizabeth.” But from his eyes, she knew the answer was yes. Of course they knew. Who else—

“Sam didn’t want you around Danny, but she changed her mind. She knew where you were, didn’t she?”

“I—I told her, but—”

“It’s just me that can’t know. Right. Right. Sonny and Carly and Sam.” She took a deep breath. “Okay.    Listen. Thanks for coming over. We’ll have to talk to Jake about school some other time. I have to deal with all of this—” She started towards the door,  her hand was on the door knob when he spoke.

“I was an informant. For the FBI. I worked for John Cates.”

December 26, 2024

Update Link: Dear Reader – Part 6

Hello!  Glad you’re enjoying our usual holiday marathon! I’m leaning towards updating everyday next week as well, but it really is going to depend on how the next few days go. I’m almost done my draft notes for the final draft of These Small Hours, Book 2 — I just have to organize the changes for back half of Act 2 and 3, but the front half is where most of the changes were coming. I’m adding one chapter towards the beginning, then cleaning up a bunch of the next few chapters, adding a few scenes to expand a storyline, but for the most part, the back half of the book will just need clean up.

Very much hoping to go into the proof copy by Jan 1 and hoping to have the book to you by that Jan 17 date at the last. Let’s kick off 2025 strong! It’ll be hard to top the output in 2024, but I’m willing to try.

See you tomorrow around the same time!

This entry is part 6 of 8 in the Dear Reader

Written in 58 minutes.


Dear reader
Bend when you can, snap when you have to

He should have known.

He should have known that Sonny wouldn’t let that morning’s argument go unanswered, and even more—he should have known Sonny wouldn’t—couldn’t—challenge Jason’s words face to face.

So he’d taken that anger and turned it loose on the one person who might actually listen—might actually believe him —

Jason didn’t have to know exactly what Sonny had said before he’d heard Elizabeth’s anguished voice when he’d approached the open front door—

“—and then Michael got shot in the head—don’t you dare pretend as if I had no reason to be concerned about your life, Sonny Corinthos! Your son was in a coma for a year! That terrified Jason! It terrified us both! How dare you come in here, how dare you—”

“How dare you use my son to make yourself feel better about the lies you told—”

Jake and Aiden were blocking the doorway, but Aiden saw Jason first, his eyes comically widening. He tugged Jake’s sleeve, and his son turned to look — his expression frozen in shock, his face white—

Christ, what the hell had Sonny said to make Jake look like that —

Jason stepped into the open space left by Aiden dragging his brother out of the way. “What the hell are you doing here, Sonny?” he demanding, blood pounding in his ears, the nerves just beneath his skin tingling as pure rage simmered just beneath the surface.

Sonny stood in the center of Elizabeth’s living room, his mouth pinched. Closer to the fireplace, Elizabeth’s arms were wrapped around her torso, as if she were trying to shield herself from a blow — from the verbal punches that Sonny was clearly throwing. Tears stained her cheeks.

Sonny’s hand fell to his side and he scowled at Elizabeth for another moment before facing Jason fully. “What do you think I’m doing here? Trying to stop you from making another mistake like the one you made with Jake—”

“He said my mother lied to you,” Jake said, and Jason whipped his head over to look at his son. “Did she? Did she tell you that you weren’t my father?”

Jason exhaled slowly, then dragged both hands down his face, counting to five in his head slowly because if he spoke now—if he said a single word before he could find a measure of calm—he’d say too much in front of Elizabeth and the boys—

“See, he’s not denying it—”

“Did you tell Jake the rest of it?” Jason said, his hands falling down. He reached for the edge of the door, slammed it so hard it shook in the frame. “Did you tell Jake every last damned detail?”

Sonny pursed his lips. “No—”

“What else is there? I deserve to know—”

“No, you don’t.” Jason looked at Jake then, at the flush in the younger man’s face. “You think you do, and I understand why that is. But you don’t deserve to know anything about my life or your mother’s before you were born. We were people who made mistakes that had nothing to do with you or with how much we love you.  It has nothing to do with why you’re angry with me now or why I haven’t told Alexis I’ll fight her for custody.”

“The hell it doesn’t—” Sonny started, but Jason took a step towards him and his friend must have realized he wasn’t entirely safe. He closed his mouth abruptly.

“Well, it’s too late now because I know—”

“You don’t know anything yet. Because Sonny’s about to tell you why your mother lied to me. Go ahead, Sonny.” Jason took another step towards him and Sonny actually backed up. “You wanted to have this conversation. Let’s have it.”

“Jason—” Elizabeth put herself between them. “I know you’re angry with Sonny, and you should be. But the boys—”

“They’ve heard enough, Elizabeth,” he said, careful to soften his tone. He reached for her, touched her elbows and gently guided her towards her sons. “I’m not saying we tell them everything, but if Sonny wants to talk about the day you supposedly lied to me, then let’s talk about it.”

“Supposedly? What—”

“Why am I not surprised you’re going to protect her—you have a right for your son to know everything, damn it—”

“Then why did you tell Elizabeth that it was a good thing I wasn’t Jake’s father?” Jason wanted to know. “Why did Carly rush over to tell me that I wasn’t the baby’s father before Elizabeth could tell me herself?”

“She was going to lie—”

“I w-wasn’t—I wasn’t—”

“And she didn’t. She never once told me Lucky was the father.”

Sonny opened his mouth, then closed it, grimacing. “You’re twisting what happened—”

“If I am, then I learned it from the best. You’re going to leave now,” Jason told him. “And you’re never going to speak to Elizabeth again. Not about this, not about anything. And especially not my son. Get out of this house before I remove you.”

Sonny stood there for another moment, clearly unsure of his own safety if he passed Jason which was the only exit available. Then, as if realizing Jason probably wouldn’t do violence in front of the boys. He dipped his head and left, slamming the door again.

Elizabeth flinched, then turned to her son. “Jake, I need to—”

“I don’t understand what the hell is going on right now. What was Mr. Corinthos talking about?” Jake demanded. “And why is Dad covering for you? Either you lied or you didn’t—”

“Your father is trying to—”

“I’m not covering—” Jason and Elizabeth spoke at the same time, then looked at one another, uncertain.

“I want some damn answers. Now,” Jake added, his voice breaking. “Is my whole life a life? What else aren’t you telling me?”

“Listen, um—” Aiden inched out from behind his brother. “As much I want to stay, maybe this would be easier if I weren’t here. I’ll, uh, go take a walk or something—”

“No, don’t bother. I’ll be the one to leave. I’m done with the both of you—” Jake headed for the door, yanking it open and was out the door before anyone could argue.

Elizabeth let out a cry and started after him, but Jason stopped her. He took her by the shoulders. “I’ll go. This happened because of me, okay?”

“But—”

He squeezed her shoulders, waited for her look at him, wishing he’d slugged Sonny anyway when he saw the abject misery in her eyes. “I’ll bring him back in. I promise.”

Without waiting for her answer, Jason sprinted out, catching Jake near the end of the drive way. He reached for Jake’s arm, intending to just stop him, but Jake swung out and clipped Jason on the edge of the jaw.

It stung slightly, but it didn’t knock Jason off balance. “You damn well better have known it was me coming after you,” he said flatly, holding Jake in place by the arm when he tried to struggle free. “Because if you ever swing on your mother, I’ll kick your ass.”

“I would never do that!” Jake retorted, disgusted. “I knew it was you, and I just wish I’d hit you harder—let me go—”

“Not until you listen to me, damn it.” Jake tried to wrestle free again, but Jason’s grip was like granite, and for once in his life, he knew exactly what to say. Exactly how to handle this. He wasn’t defending himself, wasn’t even thinking of Jake’s feelings towards him.

All he could think about was the grenade Sonny had just thrown in the middle of Elizabeth’s living room, and he’d be damned if Sonny would destroy her relationship with Jake.

“You want to know what happened before you were born, I’ll tell you. But none of it is pretty, and some of it isn’t about me or your mother. It’s about other people who aren’t here to defend themselves—or do you think this is how Aiden should learn his father was a lying, cheating slimy drug addict who did nothing but make your mother miserable?”

Jake froze, then swallowed hard. “W-What?”

“Yeah, I didn’t think Sonny would mention that part.” Jason released his son, relieved when Jake remained still.  “Your mother and I were friends for years. And years before that summer, we’d nearly been more. But our timing was never right. I had just broken my engagement to Sam, and she was married to Lucky. She was happy with him until he was injured, developed a pill addiction, and slept with another woman. She caught him in bed with her, and left. Things happened, Jake, and when she realized she was pregnant, she told me, and we did a paternity test. But communication got crossed, and I thought—I thought you were Lucky’s. So I told her it was for the best before she could ever tell me the truth.”

Jake stared at him, his mouth slightly open. He looked down, swallowed hard, then looked up. “You didn’t want me then either?”

Shit. “All I could think about was how much I wanted to be your father.” Jason flattened a hand against his chest. “I’ve loved you since the second I knew you existed. I loved you before I knew you were mine. When Carly told me you weren’t, it killed me. But I didn’t want Elizabeth to know, I didn’t want her to think she’d disappointed, so I lied to her. It’s the only lie I’ve ever told her, and I’ll never regret anything more in my life. I used to think about it all the time — wishing I had that moment back and I’d just told her how much I wanted you.”

“I d-don’t—” Jake swiped his hand angrily across his cheek, brushing away a few errant tears. “I don’t understand. I don’t understand. Why was Mr. Corinthos yelling at Mom? Why did he tell me?”

“Because he and I had an argument, and Sonny doesn’t know how to fight his own battles,” Jason bit out. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s complicated, everything that happened later, but I need you to go back inside. I need you to not to walk out on your mother. She loves you, and she didn’t deserve what Sonny just did. She was—and probably is—still deeply ashamed for how she handled everything back then, but I forgave her a long time ago.”

“How—she lied to you—she could have told you anyway?” Jake shook his head. “I don’t understand any of this. Mom lied to you about me. She said someone else was my father—”

“Why I forgave her isn’t important. Just know that I did almost immediately. Please—”

Jake looked past him, towards the house. “I don’t understand. I wouldn’t be able to forgive that. I don’t know how I’m supposed to forget that she did that—how am I supposed to forget that you left me—” He closed his mouth, squeezed his eyes shut. “You left me. And you didn’t care—did you even think about me? Or-or Danny?”

“I wouldn’t let myself. I couldn’t.” Jason had to force the words, had to find the right words to make Jake go back inside. “Because I couldn’t come home. I can’t—” Couldn’t talk about it. Couldn’t think about it. “Jake. When I said that I’ve loved you since the beginning, I mean that. There has never  been a single day, a second that I haven’t wanted you. That I haven’t loved you. I know you don’t believe that, and I understand it—but your mother—”

“You keep defending her, but she lied—she lied just like you did—” Jake shook his head, took a step back. “I can’t. It’s like I don’t know either of you—”

“Really? Really? You’re going to let one lie that she told before you were even born change every thing you know about your mother?” Irritated beyond reason, Jason released his son. “She nearly died bringing you into this world, but I guess that doesn’t matter to you, does it? She walked through a burning house to save your life, but that doesn’t matter. When you were kidnapped, when the Cassadines made her believe you were dead, she grieved until she nearly drove herself mad—when has your mother ever given you a reason not to believe in her? If you let something some angry son of a bitch screamed at her so that he could feel better about himself—if you let that change the last seventeen years of your life, then maybe you’re not as smart as I thought you were.”

Jake pressed his lips together, looked down at the ground. “I’m angry all the time,” he admitted in a quiet voice. “And I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know how to stop being mad at you, and now Mom—and Danny—he makes me mad too because he believes in you, and I want to tell him to stop, I want to stop him from thinking you’ll save the day, because I used to think that and then you were alive and not dead, and I hated you. I hated you for leaving, for not coming back, for not loving me enough to stay—and you’re doing it again to Danny, and Mom is always defending you just like you defend her—and I’m just angry—” He broke off, looked away. “I don’t know how to stop,” he repeated.

“I can’t fix that in a day. In a conversation,” Jason said. He tipped his head to the side, trying to capture Jake’s gaze, waiting until their eyes met. “And I can’t stop your mom from defending me. I’ve been trying that since before you were born. She doesn’t listen very well, does she?”

“No. No, she doesn’t.” Jake swiped at his cheek again. “Are you going to let Danny stay with his grandmother? Are you going to leave him again?”

“I’m done with all of that. I’m done being anything other than your father. Being Danny’s father. I’m not leaving him. Or you again. But I can’t prove that today. If you want me in your life—if he wants me, then I’m here.”

“We’ll see,” Jake muttered. He looked past Jason again, at the house. “Did you tie Mom down or something? I figured she’d be out here by now.”

“I told her I’d bring you back to her. That’s one promise I’ve never broken, and I’m hoping to keep it again today. Will you come back inside and talk to your mother?”

December 25, 2024

Update Link: Dear Reader – Part 5

Merry Christmas! I hope everyone is having a great holiday. We usually do the family stuff on Christmas Eve, and then I get Christmas Day to myself, which I love, but this year, my sister-in-law asked me to dinner and well, if there’s a way to refuse doing family stuff during the holidays, I haven’t found it yet, lol.

See you tomorrow! Updates shift back to the evening for the last two days this week.

This entry is part 5 of 8 in the Dear Reader

Written in 58 minutes.


Never take advice from someone who’s falling apart
(You should find another)

When he’d come to their house last April, and Jake had walked down the steps, it had stunned Jason to have such a visual representation of the time he’d lost. When last he’d seen Jake, he’d been shorter than Elizabeth, his hair worn longer, his face still carrying some residual features of youth. But Jake had grown more than a foot, and his hair had been cut short, his face leaner, more angular—more adult.

Seeing him again, months after he and Elizabeth had taken him to the airport and sent him to Spain, Jason thought again of how much of Jake’s life he’d missed. Some of that had been outside his control — the long, terrible year and a half Jason had believed Jake to be dead, and then five years in the coma, locked in a lab in Russia—

Jake’s fingers tightened reflexively around the phone he held in his hand. “If you’re here to see Danny, he’s in the back.” The words were clipped, said without emotion.

“I—” Had come to talk to Dante, hoping to talk about Alexis’s intentions, looking for any way out of this terrible situation. “I was hoping to see you later today, actually. Your mother told me about school—”

“She gets to be disappointed,” Jake cut in, “but you don’t. You paid for school, and thanks, but that doesn’t entitle you to an opinion on me or what I do with my life.”

Jason absorbed the hit, dropped his eyes to the floor of the foyer, then took a deep breath. Facing mercenaries had been easier than facing the righteous anger of the son he’d left. “I know you’re angry at me. And I’m not asking you to do forget what I did. Or forgive me. I told you that last summer. I thought we’d agreed that you wouldn’t let my failings limit your future—”

“And I’m not. I’m sure Mom put you up to this. But she can’t change my mind either. Barcelona is there when I’m ready to go back next fall. By then, I’m sure wherever Danny ends up, he’ll be settled. But I’m not going anywhere.” Jake shoved the phone into his back pocket. “You were never there for me, not in any way that mattered. You showed up on holidays and birthdays, fine. But you weren’t there when I needed you, and I don’t want you here now. Thanks for paying for school,” he repeated, “because the last thing Mom deserves after taking care of all of us is putting herself in debt for me. I took the money for her. Not for you.”

Jason wanted to argue, wanted to defend himself, but there was nothing there. Nothing he could offer. No rebuttal that would make erase Jake’s anger. “Okay,” he said finally. “But your mother—”

“Don’t talk to me about my mother. You don’t get to do that. I came home for my brother. Do you know when they told us you were dead, he cried himself to sleep?” Jake demanded. “Do you know how stupid I feel for telling him that you’d died trying to help people? No. When Danny figures out that you’re not here for him, he’ll need me. And the one thing I learned from you is that when you love someone, you show up.”

“Jake—”

Jake removed his phone, did something with the screen, then turned his back on Jason. “Yo! Aiden! Let’s go! The rideshare is here!”

Jason closed his mouth when Aiden appeared a few seconds later, followed by Danny who grinned when he saw Jason in the foyer.

“Dad, hey. Jake, why didn’t you tell me Dad was here?” Danny said, then looked at his brother’s irritated expression. “Oh, you guys didn’t get into a fight, did you?”

“Everything is fine,” Jason told Danny. He kept his hands in the pocket of his jacket, balled into fists. “We’re good.”

Jake walked past him without a word, yanked open the door. “Let’s go, Aiden. I already texted Mom.”

Aiden looked back and forth between his brother and Jason, then shrugged. “All right. See ya, Danny.”

“See ya—” Danny flinched when Jake slammed the door. “You’re not good, are you? Man, I told Jake not to do this with you—”

“Jake gets to feel how he wants to feel,” Jason said, holding up a hand. “He’s right to be angry, Danny. I was gone for two years. I can’t change the choices I made.”

“Yeah, but you were helping people, weren’t you?” Danny said. “That’s why you were in Greece in the first place. You helped save Uncle Drew. Jake said he’s coming home for the spring. I tried to argue with him, but he never listens. Anyway, maybe it’s good. He’ll be around, and you’ll get to change his mind.”

“I hope I can,” Jason said. “But—”

“He’s just worried about me. And Scout, too. He takes being a brother serious.” Danny shrugged. “He gets that from Cam. Something about Jake having a really tough time when he was a kid, and Cam was made it easier. So he thinks that’s what he has to do for me. He still thinks I’m a stupid little kid. He says I shouldn’t get my hopes up that you’ll be able to find a way to keep me and Scout together. That’s why he’s so mad.”

Jason winced, then rubbed his brow with his thumb. “Listen. About that. I—I know you heard your grandmother is asking for custody of you and your sister. That’s why I came over—I wanted to talk to Dante.”

“They went to Turning Wood to see his mother. Don’t worry, Dad. I know you’re going to do whatever you can so me and Scout can stay together. I’m her big brother, so I gotta look out for her. It’s going to be okay.”

He was saying all the right things, but Jason had a feeling Danny was expecting some kind of miracle, and he just didn’t think that was possible. “I—I’m going to try very hard to make sure whatever happens, you’re okay.” His phone vibrated in his pocket, and he slid it out to find a text notification from Elizabeth on the lock screen.

Jake’s on his way home. Are you still up to talk to him? I really want to do this together.

He grimaced, considered calling her and telling her that would be a terrible idea, but maybe it would be easier with Elizabeth in the room. She always knew what to say to Jake, how to build the bridge.

He looked back up at Danny. “I have to go, but we’ll talk more. And I’ll call Dante. We’ll figure this out.”

“I know you will.”

Elizabeth breathed a sigh of relief when Jason’s short text reached her, indicating he was on his way over. With any luck, they’d figure out how to talk to Jake into going back to Barcelona, and maybe she’d find a way to apologize for last night. She’d had no right to make Jason feel worse about himself on a day when he’d buried his ex-wife, and the guilt would linger until she’d made amends.

She frowned when she heard a knock on the door a few minutes later. Had Jason been close to the house already?

But it wasn’t Jason on her doorstep — it was Sonny. “Oh. Um, hello.” She stepped back letting the other man in. “I didn’t—I wasn’t expecting you.”

“No, we really haven’t had a chance to catch up, have we?” Sonny walked in, then turned to face her. “I had a chat with Jason this morning, and I thought we should discuss it.”

Elizabeth closed the door, then folded her arms. “I don’t understand—”

“Alexis is asking for custody of the kids. You hear about that?”

She pursed her lips, then nodded. “Yes. I talked to Jason about it last night—”

“Yeah, I saw your fingerprints all over this. That explains the way he was talking to me this morning.”

She stiffened, narrowed her eyes. “What does that mean?”

“Jason’s not going to fight for his kid, you know that, don’t you? He’s gonna let Alexis run all over him, talking about how he’s not a good father, how he’s never been there, that his life isn’t good for Danny—” Sonny’s brows lifted. “Any of that sound familiar?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I don’t feel right discussing any of this without Jason in the room.” Elizabeth walked past him, heading for the other side of the room where she’d left her phone. She’d call Jason right now and tell him to get over here faster. She wasn’t in the mood for whatever Sonny was blaming her for.

“He didn’t think like this before you,” Sonny accused, and she whirled back to face him with wide eyes. “He wanted kids. You know that. You know what kind of father he was with Michael, don’t you?”

“I—”

“Hell, the whole reason he hooked up with Sam in the first place was to be a father again. But you took that away from him and you filled his head with all this crap about his life not being safe enough for kids—”

Elizabeth held up her hands. “First of all, that is not how that happened. And let’s not forget you and Carly practically teaming up to tell me what a terrible idea it would be for me to be having Jason’s child, okay?”

“Sure, blame me and Carly for your lies. But the way Jason was talking this morning about not being a good man, about how amazing Jake was because Jason hadn’t been in his life—that’s all you, Elizabeth, and you know it—”

“It is not! How dare you! I was with him last night, asking the same questions! I want him to fight for Danny, too! How could you ever think I didn’t?”

“I don’t know, Elizabeth, why do Jake and Jason have such a difficult relationship, huh?” Sonny challenged. “Maybe it’s because of you. Because you ripped out foundation by shoving Jason out Jake’s life and lying to him about who Jake’s father was. You know Jason would have stepped up and been a good father, but it wasn’t enough for you, wasn’t it? You couldn’t stand that Jason didn’t love you, and that he’d raise Jake with another woman! So you lied to him, and you lied to Lucky, and you lied to the world! And now Jason thinks he has no right to be a father because of what you started!”

She wanted to defend herself, to speak up, to change the angry words being thrown at her, but all of them were true in their own ways, and hadn’t she taken some of the blame last night? She opened her mouth, then shook her head. “It wasn’t like that. That’s not what I wanted to happen—”

“But it happened, didn’t it?” Sonny took a step towards her, jabbing a finger. “You lied to Jason, to Lucky, to the world, and you lied to Jake and the only reason the Cassadines took him was because you lied! Hell, maybe you’re the reason they went after Jason—”

“Oh, that’s not fair! I didn’t—”

“What, you didn’t know Lucky had dangerous connections? You didn’t know about Helena?” Sonny sneered. “Don’t try to sell me on that, Elizabeth. You forget I’ve been around and I’ve seen it all. How many times have you lied to those kids? You’re going to fix this, damn it. You’re going to find a way to make sure Jason knows that he’s a good father, that he deserves to be a father. You owe him that much for all the years you stole from him and from Jake. You started this, Elizabeth, and by God, you’re going to end it. I refuse to let you steal another son from Jason—”

The door opened on Sonny’s last statement, and he whirled around to find Jake and Aiden at the threshold. Elizabeth swiped at her cheeks, turning away so that the boys couldn’t see her tears.

“What’s going on here?” Jake asked, coming inside. Behind him Aiden hovered behind him. “What are you talking about? Mom? What’s he talking about? How did she steal a son from my dad?”

Sonny lifted his brows, looked at Elizabeth who couldn’t speak, her throat was too  tight. “Oh, you don’t know? When she got pregnant with you, she was married to Lucky. And told the whole world, including Jason, that Lucky was your father.”

Jake squinted, then looked at his mother. “Did you do that?”

“Y-Yes,” she finally managed to say. “But it’s not that simple—”

“And even after she told your father the truth, she asked him to let Lucky raise you. She made Jason feel like trash, like a terrible father who had no right to be in your life—”

“Stop, that’s not—”  Elizabeth grabbed Sonny’s arm. “Stop! You have no right, no place to tell him—”

“No, I’m of sick you walking around like a saint, like the world’s best mother because you raised your boys alone. Well, who’s fault is that?” Sonny threw out. “Jason proposed to you, didn’t he? He asked you to marry him when he found out about Jake.”

“He did, but—”

“And you turned him down—”

“Until I didn’t!” Elizabeth cried. “Until I said yes, and then Michael got shot in the head—don’t you dare pretend as if I had no reason to be concerned about your life, Sonny Corinthos! Your son was in a coma for a year! That terrified Jason! It terrified us both! How dare you come in here, how dare you—”

“How dare you use my son to make yourself feel better about the lies you told—”

“Oh, shit—” Aiden snagged a stunned Jake’s sleeve. “Shit, shit—” Jake turned and saw Jason looming in the doorway.

“What,” Jason began, his voice tightly controlled, his fists balled at his side, “in the hell are you doing here, Sonny?”

December 24, 2024

Update Link: Dear Reader – Part 4

Merry Christmas Eve! I just finished wrapping gifts and singing along to Hanson’s Christmas album like I’m still in eighth grade. I’m heading down to my sister’s later tonight to do the usual with my family, then to my brother’s for dinner tomorrow night. Hope you’re all having a great holiday yourselves!

I’ll be updating tomorrow around this time, too, then shifting back to 8PM the rest of the week.

Have a great evening and I’ll see you tomorrow!

This entry is part 4 of 8 in the Dear Reader

Written in 58 minutes. Happy holidays!


The encounter with Elizabeth lingered like a bad taste in his mouth. Even as he left her in the parking lot at Bobbie’s and watched her car pull out into traffic, Jason knew he handled the conversation poorly, though he couldn’t really say what he should have said differently. She’d wanted answers that he didn’t have to give which wasn’t new. It seemed he always said the wrong thing around Elizabeth, and he’d been doing that for years.

Still, it was in his mind as he woke the next morning,  and he went over it again and again in his mind as he showered, dressed, shaved, and headed to Pozzulo’s to check in with Sonny. He knew he was supposed to call Elizabeth today, that she wanted to talk to Jake as a united front and convince him to go back to school, but Jason thought that was a mistake. Jake wouldn’t care what he thought. Hadn’t they needed to practically beg him to even take money for school?

Instead, he avoided the idea entirely. If she really wanted him for that conversation, she’d call him, wouldn’t she?

And if the irony of leaving Jake for Elizabeth to handle the same way he was contemplating allowing Alexis to have primary custody of Danny occurred to Jason, it was on a level so deep he couldn’t or wouldn’t acknowledge it.

He wanted a distraction, wanted to think about anything else other than his failures as a father and as a man, and Sonny was always good for that. There was always a task for Jason to accomplish, and this was one area where he knew what he was doing. Negotiate with Sidwell to get Sasha Corbin out of trouble? No problem. Help Anna track down Valentin to get Charlotte back? Easy. Help Sonny get away with murder? He could do that in his sleep.

Stand in front of his firstborn son and give him advice about how to live his life? Look at his other son and contemplate raising him without a mother in his life? These were impossible tasks that Jason couldn’t punch or shoot his way out of.

But Sonny didn’t want to give Jason something to do. He wanted to talk.

“I, uh, heard through the grapevine about Alexis and the kids.” Sonny sat behind his desk, leaning back. Behind him there was a bookcase filled with things Sonny had never read, and the surface was lined with pictures of Sonny with his family. With Dante and Rocco, with Kristina, with Avery and Donna—

Jason looked away, focused on Sonny’s eyes, not wanting to think about not having any photos of his sons. He hadn’t had them in more than two years. Nothing personal, nothing that could tie him to his life here—

Nothing that would put Pikeman or the men he worked with on the trail to learning that Alan Jacobs was someone with people who mattered.

“I’m handling it,” Jason said, though it was a lie. He’d never told them in his old life, preferring omissions or remaining silent to avoid uncomfortable conversations. But he’d needed the skill in order to survive, and he’d learned it well enough. “Have you heard anything about Sidwell—”

“I’ll handle Sidwell if he pops up,” Sonny interrupted. Now he leaned forward. “I want to talk about this. About what Alexis wants to do. I can talk to her, figure out a way to mediate this.  She’s hurting right now, you know, she’s been through a lot with Kristina and Molly squabbling over the baby, and well, losing Sam right as we lost our grandchild—”

Jason shook his head. “I told you, I’m handling this—”

“How?” Sonny challenged. He shook his head. “You know, I don’t get you, I really don’t. You come home and don’t talk to anyone for months, barely spend time with your own kids, and now you got the chance to have one of them live with you—finally—”

“What does that mean?” Jason cut in, not appreciating the hint of disgust beneath Sonny’s words. Was Sonny really sitting in judgment? Sonny wanted to judge the choices Jason made?

“You know what it means. You let Elizabeth push you around and out of Jake’s life, and look what happened — the Cassadines snatched him up thinking he was Lucky’s, and then they went after you and you lost all that time with him—then you let Sam push you out of Danny’s this time—”

“I didn’t let anyone do anything,” Jason interrupted, and Sonny just lifted his brows. “I made those choices, too, Sonny. And don’t you dare blame Elizabeth for what happened with Jake—”

“Well, at least some things will never change.” Sonny shoved himself to his feet. “You still act like she walks on water. I don’t get you, man. Why aren’t you fighting for your kids? Why don’t you ever fight for them?”

“Why so they can grow up and die like Morgan?” Jason shot back. “So they can get shot in the head like Michael? Be dragged in and out of court every time I’m angry with their mother? Is that what fighting for your kids looks like?”

Sonny bristled. “What the hell—”

“You want me to go to Alexis and tell her I’m taking Danny to live with me full-time so he can grow up in my life? Maybe one day he’ll cover up a murder for me the way Michael’s covering for you? Is that what I’m supposed to fight for? Are you proud of the kids you raised, Sonny? Are you fighting for Avery every time you drag Ava into court? ”

“Don’t turn this around me, damn it—”

“Why not? You think you get to sit there and call me a bad father? Maybe I am,” Jason said, “but my sons are good kids. Jake’s going to one of the best art schools in the world. And Danny’s going to be able to choose whatever he wants.”

“And none of that is because of you—”

“Which exactly how it should be. I’m not a good man, Sonny, and my boys are never going to make the mistake of thinking I am. We’re done here.”

Jason wasn’t the only one with regrets about their conversation, and Elizabeth was mentally writing an apology as she went to Kelly’s, planning to grab lunch for Jake and Aiden. She wanted to call Jason, find a way to apologize for taking such a horrible day and making it worse, then make sure they were on the same page about Jake before they figured out how to make their son get on a plane back to Barcelona.

“Oof—” Elizabeth nearly careened into a tall, broad chest as she left the diner, brown bag in hand. She lifted her eyes, nearly expecting the universe to have put Jason in front of her when she wasn’t ready to speak with him. But instead she found Drew. “Oh. Sorry.”

“No worries.” Drew stepped back, letting the door to Kelly’s swing shut behind them. “I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to talk to you yesterday. It was nice of you to come considering your, ah, history with Sam.”

Elizabeth wrinkled her nose. “Our boys were brothers, and they love each other. Sam and I made peace because they come first.”

“I hear an expectant tone in your voice, and if you think I’m going to do the same with my brother, then you clearly don’t know what’s going on.” Drew reached around her for the handle to the door. “And it’s none of your business—”

“No? Danny is still Jake’s brother. Scout is still his cousin. Jake loves them both, and he’s talking about staying home from school next semester to make sure they’re okay. Don’t tell me that doesn’t make this my business—”

“Jake is an adult—”

“And that means he stops being my son? He stops being my responsibility? No. He’s making a mistake, but he’s doing it because he doesn’t trust you or Jason to do what’s right for Danny and Scout, and so far I agree with him—”

Drew rolled his eyes, folded his arms. “Well, excuse me, but I didn’t ask for your opinion. Not that it matters. You’ll take Jason’s side just like Carly did—”

“Who said anything about Carly?” Elizabeth demanded. “I’m talking about not knowing that the kids are freaking out, they’re upset, and they know Alexis wants custody. Scout was sobbing yesterday down at the boathouse. Did you even know that?”

Drew pressed his lips together, looked past her. “No. I didn’t—I didn’t realize that.” He scratched the edge of his brow. “Dante—he’s been taking point on the kids. I’ve been—with the election and things at work, I’ve been distracted—”

“Like I said, so far I’m not impressed by you or your brother’s handling of this. Those kids shouldn’t even know the adults in their lives are squabbling over them like they’re pawns on a chessboard. And don’t worry, I’ll have some words for Alexis when I find her. They are kids who lost their mother, and you and Jason are punching each other, Alexis is issuing demands, Jake is throwing away his life, and the only person who seems to give a damn is Dante who has zero control over what happens to them.”

Drew lifted a brow. “Who said Jason gave me these bruises?”

“Do I look like I was born yesterday? I don’t know why Jason slugged you, but I’m sure he had a good reason—”

“Like I said, taking his side—”

“Jason doesn’t usually throw punches to someone who doesn’t deserve it. But I don’t give a damn about why. I care about my son, I care about those kids—”

“And you care about Jason. Don’t forget, I know exactly how far you’re willing to go to keep Jason in your life,” Drew sneered. “How long did you lie to me—”

“Don’t remind me. I’m sorry I ever made the mistake of thinking you were someone I wanted to spend my life with. How miserable I would have been when I realized how selfish you are. But you’re the one that has to live with that, not me.”

Jake was only half-listening to Danny as they headed down the steps in the foyer of the Quartermaine house as he swiped through options on the ride-sharing app, ordering a car for himself and Aiden to head home. He’d avoided his mother and her worries long enough.

When they reached the bottom, and Jake had submit his request for the car, he squinted towards the back of house. “I should get Aiden before he gets too involved with Sasha in the kitchen—”

“You’re not listening to a word I’m saying, are you?” Danny demanded. “You can’t give up Spain—”

“I’m not giving it up. I’m putting it on hold for a semester.” Jake slid his phone back in his pocket. “And don’t argue, Danny—”

“Why? Because you’re the oldest? That’s not going to work on me,” Danny shot back. “Because I’m the oldest in my house, so we’re both the oldest—”

“No, don’t argue because you’re a kid and you’re not in charge of my life. I made my decision, and it’s done. I’m not going to be in Barcelona if you need me—”

“I have Dad, okay?” Danny told him. “You’ll see. Dad’s going to fix this—”

“How?” Jake rolled his eyes. His phone vibrated and he tugged it out to see that his mother was asking if she should pick them up. He started to text a response. “How’s he going to fix that fact that you, Rocco, and Scout have different fathers so you’re basically going to be separated?”

“I don’t care. Dad said he’d make sure I got what I wanted—”

“That’s what he always says,” Jake said absently. “He asks what you want him to do and then he doesn’t have to make a decision. You don’t remember him that well, but I do—”

“I was eleven when he went away, not three—”

“Went away—that’s a funny way of saying he chose to fake his death and let us believe he was dead,” Jake said. “Danny, we’re not arguing about it—”

“I’m so sick you acting like you got Dad all figured out. You’ll see when he finds a way to keep me and Scout together, okay? He can’t figure out Rocco, I know that. But he’ll find a way.”

Danny stomped towards the back hall. Jake called after him. “Hey, tell Aiden to come out here! Our rideshare will be here in like ten!”

He typed a response to his mother, giving her an ETA, then looked up as the front door opened.

And his father walked through.