Loving you was dumb, dark and cheap
Loving you will still take shots at me
Found loving you was sunshine, but then it poured
And I lost so much more than my senses
‘Cause loving you had consequences
– Consequences, Camila Cabello

---

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

ELQ: Conference Room

“All right.” Ned Ashton steepled his hands in front of his face. “Let’s walk through these projections again. I’m not happy with the bottom line on that bid, and I think we can get a better deal.”

“I want to be careful—” Michael Quartermaine flipped through the construction proposal again. “We don’t have a lot of companies to choose from — not if I want to make sure no one can tie us to anything illegal.”

“Michael, you know better than anyone that you can’t do business in Port Charles and not brush up against the mob.” Ned raised his brow. “Doesn’t Sonny have his hands in construction?”

“No.” Michael took a deep breath. “No. But even if he did, I wouldn’t use him. The whole point of this project is to take back the waterfront, to give Port Charles a better reputation and make it a tourist destination again. We lost that when the mob moved in and took over the port, and the local economy is showing those effects.”

“I’m not arguing with your goal, I’m just saying that you can’t hire a construction company in this city that isn’t doing something under the table. You’re not going to be able to shake the ties anyway. Not as long as Jason is part of the family.”

“He’s out,” Michael said. “He’s not going back to that life. He’s got a chance to be with Jake, and hopefully Danny one day—that’s not the point anyway.”

“I’m not sure what the point is. We can go back for a better number, Michael. You don’t have to accept the first offer—”

“I’m not an idiot.”

“I didn’t—” Ned stopped and took a deep breath. “No, but this is your first major project on this scale. A hotel, the pier — it’s a lot to take on at once. I like the project, I told you that. But that’s what I’m here for, isn’t it? If you want a yes man, then you’re barking up the wrong alley.”

“No, I want your opinion.” Michael smiled weakly. “Sorry, I guess it’s just a sore point with me. It’s been…a rough couple of months with my mom and Sonny. I’m just—I’m trying to move past that—”

“I know—” Ned paused at the light knock on the door. “Yes?”

“Sorry to interrupt, but—” Sarah, the secretary smiled grimly. “Miss Quartermaine is on her way up from the lobby.”

“Miss—” Ned closed his eyes. “Oh, man.” He scrubbed his hands over his face.

“Miss Quartermaine?” Michael echoed. “Wait. Do you mean Aunt Tracy? Why would she be here?” He looked at Ned. “Did you know she was flying in?”

“I absolutely did not know that. Which is not a good thing. Unexpected visits from Tracy Quartermaine usually end in tears.” Ned rose to his feet just as they heard the familiar, prickly tones of the woman in the question.

She swept into the room, her dark hair gone entirely gray. She wore it long now, braided and tucked up in a tight chignon. Clad in a gray silk dress and a black coat that looked more like a cape draped over her shoulders, chin lifted defiantly, and mouth set grimly, Tracy Angelica Quartermaine looked ready to go to battle.

Michael already had a headache.

“Mother,” Ned said, rising to his feet. “What a lovely surprise—”

“What moron gave the okay for this damned white elephant down on the docks?” Tracy demanded. “Are you trying to bankrupt the company that we handed you on a silver platter?” she demanded when Michael turned to her.

“Aunt Tracy,” he said. “You look well.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Tracy stripped off her coat, tossed it on the conference table. “Ned, I left you here to look after this child, and you’re letting him run amok—”

“You retired, Mother,” Ned said. “How’s Amsterdam?”

“Lovely in the spring. Miserable in the winter. Answer my damn questions. Did you okay this project?”

“He doesn’t have the final say, Aunt Tracy.” Michael organized the paperwork they’d been reviewing into his leather portfolio and closed it. “And if you wanted to have any input, then maybe you shouldn’t have moved across the ocean.”

“Well, maybe I made a mistake.”

Michael stared at her for a long moment, bewildered. “What does that mean? You can’t do anything about it—”

“Oh, rookie mistake.” Ned winced, shook his head. “Never look directly into the sun, and never—”

Tracy stepped up to Michael, one brow lifted high. “You think I’m powerless? You think I can’t take an infant and an idiot? I could wipe the floor with you in my sleep.”

“Mother—”

“Aunt Tracy, I understand you have concerns and I’ll be happy to listen to them,” Michael interrupted. “But my point stands. You control ten percent of ELQ’s shares. You might be the largest single shareholder, but that doesn’t give you any real control. If you’ve changed your mind about retirement, then that’s something we can discuss. But until then, I don’t have to listen to this.”

He left the room. When he was gone, Ned looked at his mother. “What are you up to?”

“That’s none of your business.” Tracy picked up her coat. “The infant wants to take me on? Let’s see what he’s got.” She strode out.

Ned looked around the empty room and sighed. “Well, that could have gone better.”

Aurora Media: Drew’s Office

Drew glanced at the sound of the knock on his open office door and gestured for Curtis Ashford to come in before turning back to his call. “No, Diane. I’m not ready to file anything. I just want to get things in order. Yeah. Okay. Let me know what you need. Thanks.”

He set the phone on the desk, returned his focus to Curtis who’d sat at the conference table with a manila folder set in front of him. “Sorry about that.”

“No problem. Legal thing?” his friend asked.

“Oh.” Drew sat across from him, made a face. “Not sure. I, uh, stopped by the penthouse just to get a sense of things today, and it didn’t—” He leaned back in the chair. “It didn’t go well. She wants to go scorched Earth in the divorce from Jason—to force his hand on terminating his parental rights, and I don’t think that’s going to help our situation that much. Mine and his,” he clarified.

“She really wants him out of Danny’s life that much? Kind of cold considering what he’s been through.”

“Yeah. I tried to point that out, but she just can’t see past what happened when she was pregnant. She wants to treat Jason like he’s this villain who ruined our perfect life, but it’s not true.”

“No, all the guy did was come home. He didn’t ask for any of this. And I figure you’re both handling this as well as anyone could expect.” Curtis sat in the chair across from Drew. “But they had a history. A rocky one, yeah?”

“Yeah. Yeah. And I get what Sam means. She thought she was forgiving him when we got together, but it wasn’t him. And maybe seeing his face and voice brought it all back in a different way, but I just can’t—” He shook his head, leaned back. “I can’t really forget what she said about Jake. I think I always knew—” He dipped his head. “Somewhere in the back of Jason’s mind, the memories I have, I think he knew Sam never meant to tell the truth. To hope Maureen just kept him forever.”

“I guess hearing her admit it put a lot of things into perspective, like that car accident a few years ago. I’m sorry, man. You want me to talk to her? Get some sense of what’s going on?”

“No. No. I’m just going give her a few days to cool off.” He shook his head. “We all need to take a breath. A lot’s happened, maybe it just needs to settle.”

“Fair enough. I, uh, actually came to talk to you about your mother’s case. I pulled the official case report back when I started to dig into it,” Curtis said, “but Robert said he was going to go through the archives and get the rest of it. His notes, the physical evidence, you know, the whole thing. Now that we have this angle of maybe Susan knowing about you, we wanna see how that theory fits anything else in the case.” He paused. “Have you talked to your brother about this?”

“My brother,” Drew repeated, testing the phrase. “No. I haven’t. I’m still trying to come to terms with thinking Monica is the reason I ended up in the foster system. And Robert thinks that maybe it ties back to the murder. I don’t even know how to have that conversation. I can barely have it with myself, but going up to the brother I just found out existed and telling him? How do you even do that?”

“They don’t make a Hallmark card for this, that’s for sure.” Curtis raised his brows. “It doesn’t have to be you. Elizabeth knows, doesn’t she?”

“I doubt she remembers. We had that conversation about Monica before Christmas, and I never followed up. Feels like a thousand things have happened between now and then. No, Jason and I are—we’re dealing with each other better these days,” Drew said. “Maybe since I stopped thinking he was gonna swoop in and take everything that I thought was mine. And now he knows I’m not the bad guy either. It’s just…” He shook his head. “Awkward,” he said finally. “Because I know all these things about him and his life that I shouldn’t. I wish I could get these memories out of my head.” He focused on Curtis. “But until Maddox helps us or we find the protocol formula, there’s not much we can do about it. I have to live with it. We both do.”

“Give yourself a break, Drew.” Curtis got to his feet. “And maybe give Sam one, too. She’s not handling this well, but it’s not like there’s a handbook. She thought she was married to one guy, and instead she’s married to that guy’s brother. How do you make sense of that? You add in the Cassadines, and mix it with some old-fashioned jealousy, you get a pretty bad mix. You’re right to give it space. Let her cool down, see where you are in a few days.”

“Thanks, man. I appreciate it. You’ll keep looking into the case, right?”

“Yeah, me and Robert are on it.  If we get something that ties Monica to this, you’re going to have to tell Jason. You should get ready for that.”

Kelly’s: Dining Room

“One day,” Trina Robinson grumbled, “one day I’m going to buy that girl a clue and then smack her with it.” She snatched up the tip that Sonny Corinthos had left when he’d dropped off his stepdaughter, then glared at her boyfriend. “Don’t smirk at me. It’s not funny.”

“I wasn’t smirking,” Cameron Webber said. He held his hands up in mock surrender. “Joss wasn’t thinking about you working when she said we should have a goodbye lunch for Em here. You know she doesn’t think before she speaks—”

“Do you ever get tired of apologizing for her? Maybe it’d be nice if you guys found somewhere else to hang out sometimes so I wouldn’t have to serve Joss like I’m her damn servant.” Trina shot a dirty look across the diner, which thankfully Josslyn Jacks couldn’t see, because she was facing the window.

“Trina, her grandmother owns the diner, and my mom’s been bringing me here since I was a baby. Probably even before that. I told you that if you got the job here, you’d have to deal with people from school.” Cameron waited for her to meet his eyes. “I thought you and Joss were better. Like, you were getting along.”

“You never take my side.” Trina just shook her head. “It gets exhausting sometimes—”

“I take your side when you need me to. And today, Joss didn’t do anything. No, don’t look at me like that,” Cameron said when Trina narrowed her eyes. “Joss said we should get together before Emma flies back to Berkeley and we go back to school tomorrow. Where else are we going to go? You’re the one that thinks everything Joss does is about you.”

“And you’re the one that spends his life explaining her. So—” Trina took a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. Fine, this time, maybe she didn’t mean anything by it. But the next time she makes a smart remark, I expect you to stick up for me.”

“Yeah, okay.” Cameron twisted off the stool when the bells jingled over the door, and another pair of teenagers walked in. Emma Scorpio-Drake was laughing and looking over her shoulder at Spencer Cassadine as they came in.

“Spence, you’re absolutely insane. There’s no way—” Emma broke off when she saw Joss and Oscar already seated. Cameron came over and took one of the leftover seats. “Hey! Sorry we’re late.”

“No, it’s cool, Oscar just got here, too.” Joss sat up, looked towards the counter. “I’ll wave Trina down to get some drinks—”

“Ah—maybe not.” Cameron stopped Joss before she could raise her arm. “She’ll be over in a minute. Spencer, let’s push that table over here so we can all sit.”

Trina came over with her notepad. “Can I take your orders?” she said, darkly. “You know, since I’m working.”

“Oh, I’m glad you’re here, Trina. Before we order, I wanted to tell you guys why I was late.” Emma’s pretty brown eyes sparkled. “I was on the phone with my mom, and she finally agreed to let me stay in Port Charles.”

“What?” Trina repeated as Cameron straightened, suddenly alert. “I thought you were going home and coming back next month with your parents.”

“Yeah, that was the plan, but then Spencer said he was starting after the holidays, and I just figured maybe I could start now, too. Make it easier. I’m gonna stay with my grandmother. Mom was on the fence about it, so I didn’t want to say anything.” Emma’s smile faded a bit. “I mean, that’s good, right?” Her gaze swept around the circle, when no one else said anything. “I don’t have to go back. I can stay here with you guys.”

“That’s great,” Joss said. “Cam, isn’t that great?” There was a wicked glint in her eyes that he’d have to yell at her about later. Because he knew why she was asking him.

“It’s—” Cameron couldn’t quite think or wrap his head around it. He knew Emma’s parents were moving back to Port Charles, and of course, he knew that meant Emma was coming back, too.

But there was supposed to be more time, and now there wasn’t because Emma was here. And was going to stay here. And that didn’t matter. Of course it didn’t. She’d been gone for two years. He cleared his throat. “It’s awesome. You and Spencer can be the new kids together.”

“Yes, I can’t wait to go to school with civilians,” Spencer muttered. “They put me in French. Elementary French. Can you believe it?”

“Oh, perish the thought, you might have to take an introductory class,” Joss said. “How ever will you survive the insult?”

Spencer’s eyes darkened. “Va te faire foutre—”

Emma flicked him. “Hey!”

“What’d he say?” Oscar asked. “I’m in Spanish. Cam?”

“He told Joss to go fuck herself.” Trina smiled when the rest of the table looked back at her. “Hey, I might be in Elementary French, but I googled the insults the first day of class last year. You know, considering you’re so worried about mixing with the hoi polloi,” she told Spencer, “you’d think your French insults would be a bit more highbrow. Can I take the drink order now?”

Davis House: Living Room

Danny ran past Sam into the house, nearly leaping onto Molly who was curled up on the sofa. “Danny, hey, slow down.”

“It’s okay.” Molly cuddled with her nephew, kissed the top of his head.

“It’s really not,” Sam said with a sigh. She boosted Scout on her hip, then pushed the door closed. “I thought Mom would be home by now.”

“She got held up in court, but she’ll be here for dinner.” Molly ticked Danny. “Hey, kid, do you want to play with my Nintendo Switch? It’s in my room on the dresser. You can play the games I got for Christmas.”

“Best aunt ever!” Danny said, punching his fist in the air. He raced for the stairs.

She sat up. “We’ve got at least twenty minutes before he gets bored, and you looked like you need to talk.”

Sam tossed the kids’ bag on the armchair and handed Scout a toy for her to play with. “I’m just not having a great day. Not that I can really remember what a great day is like.” She perched on the arm of the chair. “Maybe the day we were supposed to launch Aurora. Or the day before. When we were in New York. We signed the papers and took the train back to Port Charles. Just the two of us.”

“It’s been a hard couple of months.” Molly sat cross-legged. “Um, Mom said Drew moved out after Christmas. I saw him at the New Year’s party, but I didn’t talk to him. How…have you?”

“Earlier. We’re…exactly where we were before or maybe worse. And I know what you’re going to tell me. The same thing Mom and Kristina did. I just—” Sam crossed her arms, shrugged. “I don’t know. Every time I make a choice, I think it’s the right one, and then a dozen people tell me how it’s wrong, and I second guess myself.”

“We just want you to be okay, Sam. You and the kids. We can disagree on how to get there,” Molly added, “but that doesn’t mean we still don’t want the same thing in the end.”

“It’s—I just know that everything would be better if Jason could just…stay out of my life. Out of my life, Danny’s, and Drew’s. If it could just go back to being us. And Drew can’t understand that—or he won’t. I don’t know how to see past that.”

“Why would it be better?” Molly asked. “Drew just found out he’s not the guy he thought he was. And that guy is actually his twin brother. What if you found out you were our sister, and someone said you needed to stay away from us? Would you listen?”

“It’s—it’s different. It is. It’s not just someone, Mol. It’s Jason.” Sam’s throat was tight. “It’s been wrong since that night. He’s back, and he’s acting like we have to all forget it’s been five years. Maybe it wasn’t for him, but it was for me—”

“Did he want to get back together?” Molly furrowed her brow. “You never said.”

“No. No. The opposite. He asked for the divorce.” Sam pressed her lips together. “He came over before Christmas. He said he’d waited for me to make a choice, and then I didn’t, so he was going to. And what right does he have to do that? To force me into dealing with this? Maybe I needed more time.”

“More time to do what?” her sister asked, and Sam looked at her, confused. “What would time change? Would you have decided you didn’t want to be with Drew after all? That you did want Jason back?”

“I—” Sam shook her head. “No. N-No. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him I didn’t want him. But I wasn’t ready for that—and it’s just happening so fast, Mol. And it feels like I can’t breathe.”

“Take your time. Breathe. I mean, Jason wanted a divorce, and I’m sure that was hard. But it’s not like you’re getting it overnight. It’s probably for the best you and Drew are taking a step back, to think things through. Everyone needs to reset. Jason got to do that, but you and Drew kept going forward.”

Sam cocked her head to the side. “I guess…yeah, I guess when you think about it that way, it makes sense. Jason didn’t go back to the life he was living. He didn’t come home to me at all,” she muttered, glancing away, missing the way Molly’s eyes crinkled in confusion. “He went home to other people who were in his ear. I bet they made him file for divorce. Jason wouldn’t have done that to me. He would have waited. To let me make a choice.”

“Right,” Molly drawled. Her tone didn’t sound as certain or sympathetic now, but Sam wasn’t paying attention to that.

“I wonder if it was Sonny. He was really mad when I filed. ” Or it had been Elizabeth. Sam knew Elizabeth had shoved Jake in Jason’s life — Sam could have done that if she’d wanted. She could have used Danny to get Jason right back in her bed. If she’d wanted that. She didn’t.

“Sam, it doesn’t matter who gave Jason advice,” Molly said, and Sam looked back at her. “He filed. He’s moving forward. You need to figure out what you want to do next. There’s no rush. Mom can slow the divorce down if you want more time.”

“Yeah. I’m not worried about that.” The financial demands Sam had made would guarantee that. She’d done it out of anger, out of spite, she admitted to herself. Wanting to lash out and hurt Jason where it would do some damage— the business. But it would also keep things in limbo. She didn’t really know what she wanted, and there was nothing wrong with making sure no one else could move on until she did.  “Thanks, Mol. It was good to feel like someone was on my side.”

“Well—” Molly held up a finger, but Sam had already turned away and was heading upstairs.

“I’m gonna go up and check on Danny.”

When she was gone, Molly sighed, looked at her niece with her sweet smile and dark hair. “I didn’t exactly tell Mommy I was on her side, but if it makes her happy to think I am, I guess there’s no harm in that.”

Nero House: Sidewalk

Oscar trotted up the stairs, still shaking his head at the antics of his friends. Sometimes he was pretty sure everyone hated each other except for him and Cam. Joss had spent the whole time being way too happy that Emma was moving back — Oscar didn’t know her that well yet, but he did know Cam and Emma had dated since they were in elementary school and hadn’t broken up until she’d moved across the country. Joss didn’t even like Emma all that much, but she loved antagonizing Trina. And she enjoyed chaos.

He wasn’t sure she was above creating it on her own if things were too boring, so he’d have to keep his eye on that —

He shoved open the front door, saw light spilling out from the living room. “Hey, Kim—” He stopped when he saw his stepmother on the sofa, tears staining her cheeks. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“What—Oscar—” Kim slammed the photo album in her lap shut and set it on the coffee table. “You’re back earlier than I thought—or I lost track of time—” She swiped at her eyes. “How are your friends?”

He frowned, followed her into the kitchen. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Did something happen?” Kim never cried. Not even when his dad had gone missing or come back. She was strong. His dad had used to tease her about being tougher than a Navy SEAL.

“I’m fine. I just—you know—” Kim took a deep breath. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Oscar went back to the living room and picked up the photo album she’d been looking at. He flipped it open —

Kim and his dad were standing in front of the altar at the church, Kim smiling brightly, and his dad looking at her like he’d won the lottery. Oscar forgot sometimes how much his dad had loved Kim. From the moment Drew had brought her home — he’d just fallen like a ton of bricks.

“Oscar—”

He turned to look at his stepmother. “You were looking at your wedding album and crying.”

“Oh. God.” Kim closed her eyes, took a deep breath. “Oscar. Okay. Okay. Look, my lawyer called. The divorce—it’s going through at the end of the month, and it hit me harder than I thought. That’s all.”

He flipped to the next page, saw the picture of all three of them. He didn’t really remember his biological mother, though he had lots of pictures of her. He’d loved Kim from the beginning, too. “He—am I going to live with him, or something?”

“No. No. Your dad—he said he didn’t want us to lose each other—unless that’s what you want.” Kim focused on him. “And that’s okay. It really is—”

“It’s not.” Oscar closed the album and set it down. “I didn’t even really think about how this is for you. You don’t say anything, you know? You just seemed like it wasn’t bothering you. And I thought, well, okay, we thought Dad was dead, so maybe you were already kind of moving on. You didn’t go to see him or try to get him to remember you—”

“Maybe I should have,” Kim murmured. She bit her lip, then sat on the sofa. She patted the cushion next to her. “Let’s talk. We haven’t really done that since the news hit.”

“I know it sucks, but—”

“When you came home that night and told me what you thought—and when Cam’s mom wanted to set up the test—I did it all without saying a word, you know? I just—I thought it wasn’t true. That there was a mistake. Drew loved us. He’d never just walk away and create a new family.” Kim stared at her hands, and Oscar realized with a start that she was still wearing her wedding ring. “So I ignored it. I treated it like it wasn’t happening. My Drew — he was thousands of miles away, lost in a desert. He’d never leave me. He promised he’d never leave me.” She brushed at her cheek. “Even when the tests came back, I refused to accept it. I carried on like nothing had changed.”

“Dad said you were stronger than him.”

“Then he came here to the house. He didn’t look like Drew, but he had your dad’s voice. His eyes. God—” Kim closed her eyes. Took another deep breath. “He asked me for a divorce. I said yes, and that was it. I decided to keep ignoring it. To keep pretending it wasn’t happening.”

“I’m sorry, Kim. I thought you were okay.”

“If you’d been even five minutes later,” she told him, “you’d still think that. This is not your problem, Oscar. And it’s not even really a problem. I know Drew didn’t ask for this. I believe him and everyone else when they tell me that he didn’t remember us.” Kim got to her feet. “I fought so hard for the navy, for anyone, to keep looking for Drew because I knew he’d never leave us. I was right. He didn’t. He didn’t choose this, Oscar. And he’s handling it.”

Oscar stood. “But you were crying—”

“We were just—I thought about how in love we were. How much we loved you, and how we were going to have more children. I thought you’d be such an amazing big brother, and Drew loved you so much, he should have more kids. And I was doing okay at being a mom, I think—”

“You’re a great mom. I should have called you—”

“No, we decided a long time ago that you weren’t going to call me Mom, remember? You were scared it meant you’d really forget your mother, and I said we’d keep her alive for you. I was going to be Kim, and she’d always be Mom. You don’t need to feel guilty about that.” Kim touched his face. “It’s just a word, baby. It doesn’t tell our story. I never needed it.”

“Yeah, but—”

“It’s hard to accept the end of a dream, Oscar. That’s all. And I didn’t know I was still holding on to it until the lawyer told me we had a date to finalize it. Drew doesn’t remember me. And it hurts. Even if it’s not his fault.”

“I guess that makes sense. But you don’t have to pretend not to be hurt, Kim. I’m here. I can listen.”

“I know. I love you for that.” She closed her arms around him, and he hugged her tightly. “But I’m the parent, and you’re the kid. We can talk about this if you need to, but I need to handle this the best way I know how, okay? And that’s by just…going on with my life.”

“Okay.”

“Good. You should go upstairs, make sure you have everything you need for school tomorrow.”

“It’s barely six—” Kim just looked at him, and he got the message. She needed a minute to herself. “Yeah, okay.”

Oscar left Kim in the living room, still troubled by the entire conversation. He’d remembered his dad talking to him about maybe having more kids. And Drew had done that, hadn’t he? He had a daughter. Oscar hadn’t met his sister yet, but Drew had gone on to live the life he’d planned with Kim, only he’d done it with someone else.

And Kim had kept holding onto his dad. Fighting for him to come home or for the Navy to find out what had happened. She’d never had those kids she wanted. It must have sucked to learn about Drew’s life here in Port Charles.

Oscar sat at his desk, staring at a photo of himself with his father before he’d left for that last tour of duty. Drew had replaced the family he’d left behind, hadn’t he? New wife, new son. New daughter. And he hadn’t realized anyone was missing from that picture.  He hadn’t really thought about what Kim was going through, but she was a real person who was hurting, and she was the only one who couldn’t get any piece of that life she’d wanted back. It didn’t seem fair that she was the one left out in the cold when she’d held on the hardest.

He picked up the picture and took it out of the frame, shoving it in the drawer, then went over to a shoebox where he’d dumped a bunch of photos. He searched until he found one of himself and Kim when he’d graduated eighth grade. Then he put it back in the frame and set it on his desk.

From now on, he’d remember what—and who—mattered most.

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