Lately, things been getting so crazy
I’m feeling like my heart hates me
It’s racing
I just wanna stay in the dark
Turn off all the lights
Come hold me tight
Where we going?
– Stay in the Dark, The Band Perry

---

Tuesday, January 6, 2004

Queen of Angels Church: Anteroom

The strange feeling had settled over Elizabeth as she and Jason had approached the church, walking through the courtyard lined with gravel. She glanced around, tightening her fingers around his hand.

She hadn’t been here that night, but now she wondered—

“When Emily offered to call Father Coates,” Elizabeth said with a sigh, “I didn’t think about the church. I should have—”

Jason stopped, turned to her with his brows drawn together. “Because of Carly? I talked to her.”

“Right,” she said with a nod. “And I know she’s going to come through a different entrance, but—” She hesitated. “It’s not going to cause more trouble with Sonny? This feels like the kind of thing—”

“I don’t care.” Jason shook his head. “This is our wedding, and Father Coates has always been understanding about security. If Carly had an issue, maybe that would have changed things.”

She knew he was right, and security was important, of course, but Elizabeth couldn’t quite shake the feeling tugging at her that something just wasn’t quite…right.

Inside, they greeted the priest that would preside over the wedding. Father Coates gestured for them to join him in his office to finalize arrangements for the end of the month. As he turned to point in the direction of his office, the folders in his arm became visible.

And she saw it. Two folders, one just slid behind the other so that both their labels were visible. Morgan-Matthews, 6/19/03, and Morgan-Webber, 1/31/04.

This wasn’t just the church where Carly had been kidnapped, where the entire nightmare had begun—

It was also the church where Jason had nearly married Courtney—would have married her if not for Carly’s kidnapping.

So much of that night was a complete blur to her, but Elizabeth had flashes, and she’d known Jason and Sonny had been in tuxes—both ties had been untied by the time they’d reached the house—

“Elizabeth?”

Blinking, Elizabeth focused on Jason, who had started to follow Father Coates. “Oh. I’m gonna walk around the church if that’s okay. There were a few things the wedding planner wanted me to look at it.”

When Jason hesitated, Elizabeth gestured at Cody standing behind her. “I’m fine. You know the security stuff better than I do.”

All right,” Jason said finally but looked at her one more time before following the priest into the office.

“I’m just going to walk down the hall,” Elizabeth told Cody. “Can—” She sighed. “Can you go clear the room at the end of the hall and give me a minute?’

The guard studied her for a minute, then nodded. “Sure thing, Miss Webber.” When he came back, he gave her nod, and Elizabeth decided that it was better to get the whole thing over with. Exorcise all the demons.

She went to the bridal suite. The room where she’d complete any final touches—where she would wait with her wedding party—The room Elizabeth knew Courtney had waited for her own wedding to Jason to begin last year. In her wedding dress.

Elizabeth didn’t even know how long she’d been standing there, seeing the other woman waiting to marry Jason in her mind.

Had Courtney had any doubts? Had she known when she called the PCPD that night that it would lead to all of us—

“I didn’t think about it being the same church,” Jason said from behind her. Elizabeth frowned, turned to him. She hadn’t even heard him approach.

“It’s fine. I mean, I knew you were supposed to get married that day. And I can’t—” Elizabeth bit her lip. “I was already married.” But it felt different, and she couldn’t quite understand why—because Jason had started dating Courtney before Elizabeth had even really understood they were over? Had really accepted it?

“You married Ric because you were pregnant and alone,” Jason said slowly. “I don’t have that excuse—”

“Jason—I’m not—” Elizabeth paused. “It’s not that.” Except — “Maybe it’s that a little bit. I’m sorry. We decided a long time ago we were done talking about before—” She rested her hands on their son, the flutters in her belly. It steadied her, remembering all the reasons they were here today. It really didn’t matter.

It shouldn’t matter.

“We’re standing in the church where I nearly married another woman less than another year ago,” Jason cut in, and she was relieved to see he wasn’t irritated or upset by the turn in her thoughts. “The fact we both rushed into new relationships after everything that happened between us—” He brushed his fingers down her cheek. “I didn’t want to think about you. About you with someone else. I wanted to be over it. So I told myself I was.”

“After you married Brenda—and I found out about Courtney—I definitely—” Elizabeth sighed, wistfully. “I definitely didn’t want to mess up my next chance to be happy. I’m sorry, Jason. Sometimes I think about that night in Luke’s when you told me you were getting divorced, and I wish I’d said something else. Anything else.”

“It’s okay.” Jason leaned down, kissed her gently. “I didn’t marry her. And Ric’s almost out of our lives. We’re right where we should be. Where I want to be.” He paused. “We can get married somewhere else—”

“It’s just a building,” Elizabeth smiled up at him. “We’ll get married here at the end of the month, and it’ll be beautiful. Then, in a few months, we’ll have our son—” She watched his face tense. “I know you’re still mad—”

“I’m not mad,” Jason said. He shook his head. “I just—” He paused. “Do you really want to talk about this?”

“No.” Elizabeth exhaled slowly. “No. It won’t change anything, and I just—go finish your meeting with Father Coates. I want to look at the chapel.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It was just—a ghost I didn’t know I needed to exorcise or something. Last year—we went through a lot. But we’re done with it now. And—and we’ll get through the rest of it.” She smiled at him, and they walked out of the bridal suite, Jason closing the door behind them.

Brownstone: Foyer

Carly scowled at Sonny. “How many times are we going to have the exact same conversation? No, you cannot see the boys until you either schedule an appointment with a therapist or Jason is with you.”

“Damn it, Carly, you have no right to keep my kids from me!” Sonny shot back. He slapped his hand against the stone wall of the Brownstone’s exterior, then put his foot in the doorway to keep Carly from shutting him out.

“Then take me to court, Sonny,” Carly retorted. “Go ahead. File a custody claim. Pay all the judges you want — you’re not getting near my boys until I’m satisfied they’re safe.” She stomped on his foot, and Sonny winced—but moved his foot long enough for her to slam the door.

She leaned against it, closing her eyes as her mother lifted her brows from the living room. “Don’t look at me like that, Mama. I’m doing the best I can.”

“I’m wondering if it might be time to try something different,” Bobbie said slowly as she joined her daughter in the foyer. “Sonny’s going to wander over here every few days or so to scream at you about the boys. Have you thought about asking Jason to arrange a visit—”

“Absolutely not. Jason has enough going on in his life right now. Something is wrong with Elizabeth—” Carly shook her head. “I don’t know what it is. But he came to the club a few days ago and looked really distracted and upset. He said they’re not ready to talk about it.”

“Something wasn’t right at the fitting,” Bobbie admitted. “But I thought maybe she was thinking about the church. They’re meeting with Father Coates today,” Bobbie explained when Carly frowned. “And I know Jason talked to you about Queen of Angels. It’s just—I’m not sure if they’ve thought about it also being the church where—”

“Where Jason nearly married Courtney.” Carly rubbed her chest. “No, it’s not that, Mama. She isn’t talking to you either?”

“She didn’t say a word—” Bobbie sighed. “Well, I’ll just have to drag it out of her—”

“Don’t say anything, I’m not supposed to know anything. I don’t think she’s told Emily either. It’s not the wedding. The twit isn’t that dumb—”

“Carly—”

Carly closed her eyes, winced. “Sorry. Reflex. Jason knows what’s going on, so I’m sure we will eventually. Let it go for now.” She rubbed her temple. “I’m just tired, Mama. Am I being too hard on Sonny? Should I let him see the boys?”

“I don’t know,” Bobbie admitted. “At first, I was on your side. I still am—I don’t want you to go back to him. Or take the boys to stay with him. But, baby, he’s not going to get help. And if you’re not willing to ask Jason to do you a favor—”

“I just—I’m scared of what might happen with the boys. With Sonny. Michael already saw him in the middle of a bad panic attack. They’re just babies, you know? I have to protect them.” She bit her lip. “I just don’t know if I’m doing it right.”

“You know that Sonny has talked to Justus,” Bobbie said slowly. “Maybe it’s time we talk to a lawyer, too. Elizabeth’s divorce attorney was good—”

“Mama—”

“Carly.”

“Mama,” Carly said again. “Let me handle this. I’m not ready to pull that trigger yet—and even if I was—I know who I need to talk to.”

“Well, Carly, you can only stick your head in the sand for so long—”

“I—” Carly shook her head. “I know. But if I go and file for divorce, Sonny is going to absolutely lose it. And Jason does not need that right now. I’m safe. I’m out of it. And so are the boys. I got myself out. For once, Jason deserves for me to think about him first.”

Blue Moon: Office

“Tommy,” Jason said, walking into the manager’s office, Bernie on his heels. Tommy stood up, and Jason leaned forward to shake his hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t come down sooner—”

“No, no, I told your guys there was no need.” Tommy sat down behind the desk. “Sit, sit,” he said with a wave of his hand. “The raid didn’t do much damage. We don’t keep anything around this office anyway. And you called—”

“I did. I just—I didn’t tell Sonny, and I should have. I’m the reason he didn’t come to see you,” Jason told him. “I’m sorry about that, Tommy. You’ve worked with him too long—”

“Jase—” Tommy leaned forward. “You know I like you. Always have. Even when you ditched us and sold out to Moreno—”

Jason winced, and Tommy shook his head. “I knew why you did it. You were too young back then, and I didn’t want you in charge anyway. Too young,” he repeated when Jason frowned at him. “But we got problems with Sonny. He’s not the man he used to be—”

“He’s going through some things,” Jason began, but Tommy just looked impatient now.

“He’s not doing the work,” Tommy retorted. “He dragged this organization back from Moreno, took on Sorel—and for a long time, we managed. But ever since he got married to this new wife—”

New wife. Carly and Sonny had been together for three years, but to a guy like Tommy, anything less than ten years —

“Tommy—”

“Some guys — they do better with family. You—you’re gonna be okay this time. You got your head on straight, and I like your girl. I hope she’s okay.”

Jason hesitated. “She’s fine, Tommy. You’ll see her at the wedding.”

“I like her better than the last two you hooked up with,” Tommy continued. “But Sonny can’t hack it anymore—”

“There’s no Moreno or Sorel anymore,” Jason said softly. “No local competition. So Sonny’s the only option, Tommy. Unless you’re telling me something.”

“If I wanted to take over for Smith,” Tommy said with a frown, “I could have crushed Sonny like a bug. I could have stepped on you when Sonny left you holding the bag. I didn’t do that, did I? Don’t question my loyalty—”

“That’s not what I’m doing, Tommy—” Jason lifted a brow. “You either work for Sonny, or you go into retirement—”

“He’s not the only option, Jase.” Tommy got to his feet. “But you’re not ready to see that yet. Loyalty’s a good thing, but it only goes so far. It’s gotta be earned.”

“And Sonny’s earned yours—”

“He did. Once. But anything earned can be lost. You make sure Sonny gets his priorities straight.”

“Tommy—”

“I’m not planning to make any trouble, Jase. And neither is my crew,” he continued. “Not now. We know what you’ve been through this last year. I watch the news. I saw what your girl was dealing with. No one is gonna make a move with your wedding coming up.”

Jason closed his eyes. He absolutely did not need this right now. “But after?”

“You be straight with me, and I’ll be straight with you.” Tommy met his eyes. “Elizabeth and the baby. They okay?”

Jason hated this. Hated the idea of using Elizabeth’s condition, using his son as a shield, but — “No,” he admitted finally, taking in Bernie’s look of concern. “But it’s not something we’re talking about, Tommy. It’s—it’s a complication that—” He shook his head. “I’m asking you to hold the line until she has the baby. I’ll plug the leaks, I’ll deal with Sonny. I’ll get it under control.”

“I’m with you, Jason,” Tommy promised. “But you get Sonny together. I can give you a few months. Through April, maybe. But the problems we’re having—they’re not new.”

“I know that. Thanks.”

“I’ll see you at the wedding. And Jason? I’m sorry. I hope everything turns out.”

“Yeah.” Jason pulled open the office door. “Yeah, me, too.”

Harborview Towers: Lobby

Scott shoved the front door open, then frowned when he saw Taggert waiting in the lobby, glaring at an envelope in his hands. “Oh, hell, did she get you, too?”

Taggert looked up, then sighed. “What am I supposed to do with this, Baldwin?” He held up the envelope. “I can’t open this. I know what it is.”

“This is ridiculous,” Scott muttered. He went over to the security desk. “Is Elizabeth Webber home? I need to talk to her.”

“Uh—” The guard blinked at him. “You need a warrant—”

“Really?” Scott slapped the wedding invitation on the desk. “Here’s my frickin’ warrant—”

“Scott?”

He turned at the sound of Elizabeth’s hesitant voice. She had just left the elevator attached to the parking garage, and her guard was next to her. “Is everything okay?” She looked over at Taggert. Saw the invitation in his hand. Looked at his face again. “Oh. I guess you’re saying no.”

“Uh—” Taggert scratched his temple. “Listen.”

“Um, do you mind if we go upstairs?” Elizabeth asked. “I’ve been on my feet for a little while, and I need to sit down.”

Scott scowled, but he and Taggert followed the brunette into the residential elevator. Her guard slid a key into an access panel, then pressed the button for the penthouse level. He felt a flicker of guilt — he knew that piece of security hadn’t been there before September.

Before a cop had attacked and nearly raped Elizabeth again in her own home. He exchanged a look at Taggert over Elizabeth’s head, knew the lieutenant had seen the action as well.

“Cody, I should be in for the rest of the day,” Elizabeth told the guard as she unlocked the penthouse. “I think Jason said he wouldn’t be home until late—”

“I’m with you until he gets back,” Cody promised. “I already took my lunch.”

“Okay, but don’t forget to get someone up for dinner,” Elizabeth told him. “You always do, and I don’t want you waiting until Jason and I eat—”

Cody promised, then Elizabeth gestured for the DA and lieutenant to walk into the penthouse. Scott cast a look towards the Corinthos penthouse, then huffed and followed Elizabeth in.

“Elizabeth, it’s not that I’m not—I’m not, uh, flattered to get the invitation,” Taggert began as she removed her coat and set it over the desk. “It’s just—you know—conflict of interest and whatnot.”

“Yeah. That—” Scott pointed at him. “That’s what I was gonna say. Very touched to be included, but it’s just—I’m the DA.”

“I know.” Elizabeth smiled at them, but Scott frowned — he’d spent a lot of time with Elizabeth in the last six months, and he liked to think he knew her pretty well.

And something was wrong.

“I guess — when I was making the list, I should have edited it more. Jason wasn’t exactly wild about it either,” she said. Her smile this time felt more genuine, but there was still a sadness there. “But he told me I could invite anyone I wanted. And I guess—I don’t know.” She hesitated, looked at Taggert before focusing on Scott. “I know how Ned found out about the false lab report in my case—”

Taggert lifted his eyes at Scott. “Really?” Scott waved at him, dismissing it.

“And I know you both risked a lot asking Jason to go on that trip to see Tom Baker a few months ago,” Elizabeth continued, as Taggert frowned, and Scott looked away. “I know you both just did your job, but I felt a lot safer knowing you were both working on the case. Both cases,” she clarified.

“Listen—”

“And I know you couldn’t come to the reception. Because that really would be too much,” Elizabeth continued. “But I understand if you can’t come. I don’t want to cause either of you any problems. Not after everything you’ve done for me.”

“Oh, well—” Scott shuffled. “Listen,” he repeated. “You’re right. The reception—” He sliced his hand through the air. “That’s out, you know? But, uh, I guess—I mean—” He looked at the baffled Taggert. “We could—we could manage the ceremony.”

“Really?” Elizabeth brightened, and Scott was relieved to see that she did look happier. He drew back his shoulders, feeling ridiculously proud of himself. “Because I invited Lee and Gail, but they’re in Arizona for the month.”

“Oh—yeah, they’ll be disappointed, but me and Taggert—it’ll be fine.” Scott looked at the cop. “Right? If the mayor can go—”

“Right,” Taggert said faintly. “Sure. Uh, just the ceremony. Thanks for understanding.”

“Thank you,” Elizabeth said. “I mean that. I feel like a lot of the reason I’m still here, that I’m getting married, and that I don’t have to worry about Vinnie Esposito—I can have this new star all because of you—both of you.”

“I’m happy to see you happy,” Taggert said. “So mark me down for the ceremony. And, uh, maybe a plus one,” he muttered.

Scott frowned at him, but cleared his throat, looking back at Elizabeth. “Uh, yeah. But I don’t have a plus one. I think she’s in your bridal party.”

“Oh, yeah, Bobbie. I wanted to ask her to walk me down the aisle, but I was afraid that it would be too weird,” Elizabeth admitted. “Carly and I just started getting along, so I don’t want to mess that up.”

“I think Bobbie would be pleased as hell to walk you down the aisle,” Scott told her. “We’ll see you at the end of the month.”

“I’ll see you then.”

Back on the elevator, Taggert glared at Scott. “How the hell did you let that happen?”

“Me?” Scott huffed. “You’re taking a freaking date—”

“I can’t go to a wedding and not ask the woman I’m seeing,” Taggert retorted. “And hell—how the hell am I going to explain to Anna Devane that I’m going to Jason Morgan’s freaking wedding?”

“Listen.” Scott took him by the shoulder, pointed a finger at him. “Don’t ask, don’t tell. That’s the policy. We’ll slip in, we’ll slip out, and that’ll be it—and we’re not going to Morgan’s wedding. We’re going to Elizabeth’s—”

“They’re the same thing—”

“Nope.” Scott shook his head. “I’m picturing a faceless groom. I just—” He grimaced. “She made me feel like I’d be doing her a favor, Taggert. How was I supposed to say no?”

“I know.” Taggert sighed. “I know. Thank God she didn’t take up a life of crime. We’d never be able to arrest her.”

General Hospital: Monica’s Office

Jason hesitantly stepped inside his mother’s office and closed the door behind him. “I’m sorry for just showing up like this—”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Monica came around her desk and gestured for him to take a seat on the sofa. “I can always find the time for my kids.” She hesitated after the statement and then smiled when Jason didn’t seem to flinch at the thought. “How are you? How’s Elizabeth?”

“Physically fine.” Jason sat down, and Monica perched on the cushion next to him. “We’re not—” He paused. “You can talk to me about Elizabeth, right? Without her being here?”

“I can—” Monica squinted, suspicious now. “You’re her power of attorney, and she’s given us permission, in any case. Why?”

“When we came in last week, you told us that you and Kelly had talked to any doctor who had worked with a pregnant CTEPH patient.”

“It took some time, but yes.” Monica tipped her head. “Does Elizabeth know you’re here?”

“No—I—we’re not talking about it,” he admitted. “In her mind, she’s made the decision, and unless something changes medically—” Jason couldn’t sit still. He shoved himself to his feet and walked across the room. “The other cases. How did they turn out?”

“Well, as I said in the meeting — this is a rare condition. We weren’t able to find all that many cases at all. We found five women with CTEPH in pregnancy. Three of them were diagnosed before the twelfth week, and terminated the pregnancy.”

“The other two?” Jason didn’t look at her.

Monica pressed her lips together. “The other two women were diagnosed later. In weeks eighteen and twenty-two. Both elected to keep the baby.”

“And what happened?”

“Jason—”

“Monica—” He paused. “Mom,” he said softly. “I need to know. I need to be ready.” Jason met her eyes. “I don’t know if I can get Elizabeth to change her mind or back down about waiting as long as possible. So if I need—” His chest was tight, and he could hardly speak. Couldn’t even manage to form the words on his lips.

“One of the women,” Monica said, slowly, rising to her feet, “was forced to check into the hospital after twenty-five weeks and delivered at twenty-eight weeks. She successfully had the CTEPH surgery.”

“The baby?”

Monica sighed. “Lasted a week in the NICU.”

Jason paused but then forced himself to ask. “And the other?”

“The patient had been diagnosed at eighteen weeks and was relatively healthy until thirty weeks. Then she had a heart attack. She died. They delivered the baby, and he survived.”

Jason closed his eyes. The only two known cases of this condition — “And does Elizabeth know that? Does she know there’s never been a known case of both the woman and baby surviving delivery?”

“Jason—”

“Does Elizabeth know that?” Jason bit out, then winced. “I’m sorry—”

“Don’t apologize, Jason. These are terrible choices, I know that. No, she doesn’t know about the cases we found. And these two cases aren’t predicting the future. They had different medical histories — Elizabeth was in stronger health going into her pregnancy and maintained a healthy first and second trimester until now. That matters —” Monica put a hand on his forearm. “Look at me.”

He met his mother’s eyes. “She’s not going to choose anything that might hurt the baby. I could beg her until I’m blue in the face, but she won’t deliver him a minute earlier than she has to. She’ll kill herself if it means the baby will be okay.”

“I know that—”

“She blames herself for the miscarriage—it doesn’t matter that Faith pushed her, that Ric drugged her—” Jason dragged his hand through his hair. “Okay. You don’t have a lot of CTEPH cases. I get it. But it’s a kind of hypertension, right? That’s more common—”

“Jason—”

“What’s the fatality rate on that?” he pushed. “For other cases of pulmonary hypertension in pregnancy—you’re too good a doctor not to have those figures—”

“Sit down, Jason—”

“I can’t—”

“Jason,” Monica repeated. “Sit down.”

He sat in the chair, put his head in his hands. “She blames herself for not protecting that first baby,” he said in a quiet voice, so faint that Monica could barely hear him. “What are the fatality rates? Please.”

“It varies,” Monica said quietly. “From thirty to fifty percent.”

“Thirty to fifty—” Jason looked at her, his eyes almost wild. “Are you—how—” He took a deep breath. “Elizabeth’s blood pressure has been elevated since the beginning. I haven’t been to all the appointments. Have you ever talked to her about this?”

“About hypertension? Yes. Kelly and I both counseled her shortly after she was attacked in the penthouse. It was important that she rest.” Monica paused. “Yes. Elizabeth knows those numbers, and she got her blood pressure down in October. It’s been elevated, but it’s always been in the normal range—and Jason—”

She waited until he looked at her. Until she could see his eyes and knew he was listening. She took her son’s hand. “Her blood pressure is still in the normal range. Yes, it’s elevated. But not dangerously. Yes, she’s had some issues breathing. I’m concerned about her oxygen intake, but her levels are normal. If she can avoid stress — I don’t expect Elizabeth to have any serious issues for several months. She might even make it until the eighth month without a crisis. I’m not counting on it, but I wouldn’t rule it out.”

He leaned back. Looked at the ceiling. “So, she’s okay for now.”

“For now. Avoiding stress. Resting. Regular vital checks. Jason — those other two cases — they don’t have to be Elizabeth’s fate. She’s stronger than she looks. And you know that your father and I will move mountains to get her the care she needs right here at GH so you won’t have to take her anywhere else.”

“I—” He nodded. “Yeah. I know that. I just—” Jason shook his head. “When does it end?” he asked softly. “When does she get to stop fighting?”

“It’s terribly unfair for this to be happening to her after last year,” Monica agreed with a nod. “After the miscarriage, the embolism, her attack — I want this to be done, too. We’ll get her through this.” She squeezed his hand. “You haven’t told Emily yet.”

“Elizabeth doesn’t want to tell anyone,” Jason said, almost numbly. “Until after the wedding. She wants people to be happy.” He looked at her. “I don’t know if I can put it out my head. She wants me to, and I want to do it for her. But I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Well, when it gets to be too much, you just come to talk to me,” Monica told him, her chest aching for her little boy who had always taken on the weight of the world and tried to fix it. “We’ll take this one day at a time, Jason.”

Kelsey’s Apartment: Living Room

Kelsey wrinkled her nose and looked at Lucky as he trudged through the door. “Hey. I was beginning to think you weren’t coming over tonight.”

“I got stuck at the station.” He stifled a yawn as he removed his coat. “And then I had to go to Kelly’s and grab clothes. The stuff I have here is dirty, and I forgot to take it to the laundromat—”

He collapsed on the sofa, his eyes closed, his head back. Kelsey folded her legs underneath her, twisting to face him. “Bad day?”

“Paperwork,” her boyfriend grunted. “I should have crashed at Kelly’s. I’m not up to—” His eyes were barely a sliver of blue as he looked at her. “Uh, my usual performance.”

“Poor baby.” Kelsey tossed her legal pad on the table, then crawled over to him, swinging a leg over his body and straddling him. “One of my cases plead out this morning, so I didn’t have to spend all day in trial.”

Lucky’s hands rested on her thighs as he sat up slightly, opening his eyes more. “Are you mocking me?”

“No,” she drawled. “I was offering to do most of the work, but if you’re not interested—” She started to stand up—but Lucky’s hand snaked out and grabbed her arm. She giggled as he   her onto her back, and he loomed over her. “Hey — second wind?”

“You know why I didn’t crash at my place?” he asked, settling into the cradle of her hips. Lucky smoothed her hair out of her face. “I didn’t want to miss seeing you today.”

“I’m glad you came over,” Kelsey murmured. She tugged his face down to hers. “You’re on a month to month at Kelly’s, aren’t you?” she asked after a long, lingering kiss.

“Yeah—”

“You think your aunt would mind if you only gave three weeks notice?”

Lucky squinted. “What are you—”

“February 1. Move in here,” Kelsey said. She nipped at his mouth. “We’ll keep all our dirty laundry together.”

“Are you sure—”

“When was the last time you spend more than a night there?” she asked. “Why pay rent on a room you barely use? Let’s be real grown ups. Move in. You’re here all the time anyway.”

“I’ll call Aunt Bobbie tomorrow. But first —” Lucky wiggled his brows, and she giggled as he leaned down and kissed her neck.

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bedroom

Elizabeth frowned when Jason came home that night — she knew he’d be late and she’d eaten dinner on her own, but she was surprised when he came into the room, then went straight to the bathroom. Without a word.

She heard the shower turn on a moment later. Curious—even worried, Elizabeth shoved back the blanket and padded across the carpet to knock lightly on the door, still partially ajar. “Jason?”

“Yeah?” his voice floated out towards her.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Okay.” She didn’t want to lay back down, so she sat on his side of the bed and waited. He didn’t take long showers like she did, so within five minutes, Jason had exited the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Jason—”

“When you got out of the hospital,” Jason said, turning to her as he pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a cotton gray t-shirt. “Last October— you had a follow-up appointment with Monica and Kelly. I didn’t go.”

“No, something came up at the warehouse—” Elizabeth squinted. “You don’t always go. Or you didn’t before. What’s wrong?”

“I went to see Monica today,” he admitted. He leaned against his dresser, and she was starting to get irritated with him. If he had a problem, why wouldn’t he just say something — “I had a few questions that didn’t get answered last week.”

“Jason—”

“Did you remember what they told you back then?” Jason asked. “When you talked to them about your blood pressure?”

“I—” She frowned, drew her brows together, and got to her feet. “I don’t know. My blood pressure was normal—well, I mean before the attack. And it was high for a while after, but they said if I rested—”

“They talked to you about pulmonary hypertension,” Jason said flatly. “Monica said they did.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth’s expression eased. “Oh, yeah, I do remember that. Monica said if my blood pressure didn’t go down by the next appointment, I might become hypertensive. But it did go down. Remember? I stayed in and spent most of the month on the sofa.” She tipped her head. “Jason—what exactly do you think I found out at this appointment that’s making you so angry?”

“The fatality rates for pulmonary hypertension. And I’m not—” Jason scrubbed his hands over his face. “I’m not mad.”

“Then you’re doing a pretty good impression of someone who is.” She paused as his words sank in. “The fatality rates? Wait.”

“I went back because I realized we never let Monica or Kelly tell us about the other cases of pregnant women with CTEPH,” Jason said slowly. “They only found five other patients. Three were diagnosed early in the pregnancy and terminated.”

Elizabeth sat back down. “And the other two?” she asked softly.

“In one, the baby died. And in the other, the mother died.” Jason sat next to her. “And the fatality rates for pulmonary hypertension in pregnant women can be as high as fifty percent.”

“Fifty—” Elizabeth curled her hands into fists, stared at them in her lap. “There’s no case where both survived?”

“No. At least not that they know of. It’s too rare.” Jason took one of her fists in his hand, gently pulled her fingers apart. “I’m sorry. I thought you remembered.”

“You thought I remembered hearing that half of women with hypertension die and didn’t—” Elizabeth yanked her hand away from him, jerking back to her feet. “You thought I was keeping it from you? How? Why?”

“You didn’t want to talk about any choice that wasn’t waiting as long as possible. Even when Kelly and Monica both made it clear—”

“Jason, I didn’t—” Elizabeth took a deep breath. “I wouldn’t keep this from you. I wouldn’t. And I—I can’t believe you thought I would. Why didn’t you say anything? We could have talked to Monica together—”

“I—” Jason bowed his head. “I’m sorry,” he admitted. “I’m not—I’m handling this well,” he confessed. “I can’t seem to wrap my head around any of it. You don’t want to talk about it or think about it because the decision’s made, and I just—” He looked away. “I have to deal with it. I’m sorry.”

Elizabeth’s eyes stung with tears. “You make it sound so terrible. Like I didn’t even think about you—”

“Did you?” he asked, fastening his gaze on hers, his own eyes burning into hers. “You didn’t ask me what I wanted to do—”

“Because I know what you want to do. What you wanted to do months ago when I found out I was pregnant,” Elizabeth said quietly. “You want me to put myself first. You were the one who brought up abortion first.”

“Don’t—” Jason shot up. “No. Don’t say it like I still want that. I love this baby, Elizabeth. Of course I do—”

“I’m sorry—I know—” She rubbed a hand against her chest. “I know you love the baby. But you still think this is a situation where there’s a choice. And I can’t—I can’t see it that way. I can’t see a life for myself if I do anything that puts my son at risk—”

“Elizabeth—”

“I can’t—” She turned away, pressed her hands to her face. “I’m sorry. I just can’t. So you can either be okay with it or not, but I can’t do it—”

“All right.” Jason came up behind her, drew her back against him. “I’m sorry,” he told her, his breath warm against her temple. “I’m just trying the best I can.”

“I know.”

“Monica reminded me that you’re okay right now. So, let’s do what you wanted me to do in the first place. We’ll put it away. We’ll go to the doctor appointments, but let’s just think about the wedding.”

Elizabeth turned in his arms, resting her hands against his chest, and searched his eyes. “Can you do that?” she asked. “Jason—”

“If that’s what you need me to do, then yeah—” He rested his forehead against hers. “Yeah, I can do that.”

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