Come on and we’ll sing, like we were free
Push the pedal down watch the world around fly by us
Come on and we’ll try, one last time
I’m off the floor one more time to find you
And here we go there’s nothing left to choose
And here we go there’s nothing left to lose
– Nothing Left to Lose, Mat Kearney

---

Wednesday, January 7, 2004

Quartermaine Estate: Family Room

Elizabeth was determined that she wouldn’t let her medical problems take over her whole life. She didn’t want to be obsessing about her breathing, about her pulse, about her blood pressure all the time— she just wanted to live.

And if sometimes that meant pretending she wasn’t sick — well, Elizabeth was just fine with doing that, too.

“Hello, darling,” Lila said as Elizabeth kissed her cheek. “It’s so sweet of you to come by like this.”

Elizabeth sat on the sofa next to the chair and took photos out of her purse. “Well, I know you couldn’t come to the fitting,” she said to Jason’s grandmother, “but Emily said you were hoping to see what the dress looks like, so we took a lot of photos.”

“Bless you, dear.” Lila took the first photo. “Oh, it’s lovely—I thought this would be the dress when Emily showed us the choices.”

“Yeah, I was on the fence,” Elizabeth admitted. “It’s more expensive than I wanted the dress to be, but Emily convinced me to try it on, and—”

When the stylist had helped her step up in front of the three-way mirror—she’d just known. This was the dress she wanted to wear the day she married Jason. “It seems silly to spend so much money on a dress you wear once,” Elizabeth admitted.

“That’s not silly,” Lois said as she entered the room. “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to eavesdrop—” she said when Elizabeth and Lila looked at her. “I—I just wanted—I wore my mother’s dress when Ned and I were married. The second time,” she added when Lila raised her brows. “We got married at Coney Island.”

“That sounds like it was fun,” Elizabeth said, turning slightly and smiling at Lois. “And you didn’t mind your mother’s dress? I mean—”

“Well, I had a few alterations to update it, but yeah, I thought it would be a good omen. My parents were devoted to each other forever—” Lois paused. “Well, anyway — this is a beautiful dress, Elizabeth. You’re going to look lovely in it.”

“Thanks. I guess maybe I could save it,” she said slowly, then something inside her clutched. If something went wrong — there’d be no daughter to pass the dress to. Would her little boy want it?

“Elizabeth?” Lila asked gently. “Is everything all right?”

“Yes, yes. I’m sorry.” Elizabeth took a deep breath. “There’s just been a lot of details to deal with these last few weeks. And I’ve been more tired than I was before.”

“Of course, dearest.” Lila patted her hand. “But these photos are so lovely, and I look forward to seeing you and Jason start your life. You’re so wonderful together. I couldn’t be happier for you.”

“Thank you. And—and we’re going to stop here after the ceremony,” Elizabeth promised her, pleased when Lila’s eyes brightened. “I know you can’t come, but it’s so important to Jason and I that you’re part of this day. We love you.”

“That would be wonderful. I look forward to it.”

Later, as Lois walked Elizabeth to the door, she smiled. “You’ve made her day, you know. It breaks her heart that she can’t get around the way she used to.”

“It’s hard for all of us to see her fading,” Elizabeth admitted. “I know how much she means to Jason. She should get to be part of this in any way we can. I thought about having the ceremony in the rose garden, but then I thought—”

“Having the party here might be too much for her,” Lois admitted.

“And there’s other reasons it has to be a neutral place,” Elizabeth said with a sigh. “Not everyone we had to invite could come to the mansion. And Jason wouldn’t want them here.”

“Ah. Understood.” Lois paused. “Are you all right? You seem—I know you said you were tired, but—”

“I’m fine,” Elizabeth told her. “I just need to go home and relax. I’m going to take a long bubble bath, I think, and try to think about something else.”

“Okay. Well, you know where Ned and I are if you need anything.”

Corinthos & Morgan Warehouse: Jason’s Office

Jason grimaced as Bernie set a stack of contracts in front of him. “How? How is there this much paperwork?”

“You think this is bad, think about what I have to do,” Bernie told him as he sat down. “That covers last week and next week’s coffee exports from Colombia and Venezuela. It also takes care of a customs investigation because of a hold-up in Caracas—and the building permits to finish the renovations on the coffee shop—”

“I’m sorry I asked,” Jason muttered as he reached for the first stack. He looked at Justus. “Can I give you the power to sign this stuff?”

“Uh, you could, but when I embezzle everything and run off with my girls to Tahiti, you’ll regret it.” Justus flashed a grin, and Jason’s shoulders relaxed. There were sometimes when coming to this office didn’t feel like a chore, and it was largely because of Justus and Bernie.

He didn’t use to hate his job, but since Sonny stopped even pretending to work after the hearing, everything had been dumped on Jason.

“I also finalized the security for the church,” Bernie said. “After you sent over the final figures yesterday, I talked to Francis, and he’s got it handled.” He paused. “There is one thing we should probably talk about—”

The door to the office slammed open, and Sonny stalked in, shoving between Bernie and Justus, who both got to their feet, warily. Sonny slapped something on Jason’s desk—

Jason sighed, looking down at it. “Is there a problem?” he asked after a long moment, raising his eyes to Sonny’s dark ones. “You knew we were engaged—”

“You’re having a wedding at Queen of Angels,” Sonny bit out. “And a reception at the hotel? Are you insane?”

Jason cleared his throat, picked up the invitation. He’d barely read it when Elizabeth had shown it to him, but he didn’t see anything that would set Sonny off like this — “Are you mad because it’s not the No Name? I—”

“You’re having the ceremony at the same church my wife was abducted from,” Sonny snarled. “You’re marrying Ric’s wife—are you trying to taunt him? Trying to get him to come out in the open?”

Jason stared at him for a long moment, not trusting that he was serious. “Do you really think I’d use Elizabeth like that? Put her in danger—put our child in danger—I’m not the one obsessed with Ric—you are—” He flung the invitation back at Sonny. “We’re having the wedding at the church that I attend, and that allows our guards. If you don’t like it, you can stay home—”

Bernie winced, and Jason glared at him. “What?”

“Uh, not that this is any of my business nor do I want it to be—” the advisor added, “but Sonny can’t stay home—”

“Why the hell not?” Sonny demanded. “You think I want to be part of this?”

His chest tightened, twisted, and Jason didn’t even recognize the feeling at first as hurt. Despite all their issues, all the fights — Sonny was supposed to be his family. He’d even seemed almost happy for Jason a few weeks ago when he’d found out about the engagement.

He’d once thought of Elizabeth like a member of his own family —

Now Sonny didn’t care that Jason was marrying her—that he was having a child—

“Because if you don’t go,” Bernie continued, with an apologetic glance at Jason, “it sends a message to people that there’s an issue. Is that—is that something we want?”

“No,” Sonny said flatly. He took a breath. “No. I just—” He looked at Jason. “Why? Why are you waving a red flag at Ric like this? You could just get married at the courthouse if it’s so damn important to do it right now—”

“This is how things are,” Jason said. “And it’s not up to you.”

Sonny scowled, then stormed out, slamming the door behind him. Jason exhaled slowly, looked at Bernie. “Is that what you were going to bring up? Sonny at the wedding?”

“Yes, well—if you were to scale back the ceremony — a private ceremony,” Bernie said, “then you could get around not having Sonny there.”

“Which I completely understand,” Justus muttered. Bernie shot him a dirty look. “What? What has Sonny done to earn even being invited? He should be worshipping the ground Elizabeth walks on for even inviting him or did you put her up to it—”

“Yes, she did run the list past with me,” Bernie retorted. “As soon as she’d decided to have something larger, she wanted to make sure she’d invited everyone she needed to—”

Surprised, Jason stared at him. “Why didn’t she ask me? I would—”

“You’re running around putting out fires all the time,” Bernie said. “She didn’t want to bother you, and I took care of it, so no, Justus, I didn’t make her invite Sonny. He was already on the list.” He paused. “In the bridal party.”

“The bridal—” Jason winced, then sat down, put his head in his hands. “He needs to be the best man.”

“He does. That’s what I wanted to bring up. Elizabeth already had him listed that way, but I wanted to make sure you were on the same page.” Bernie paused. “If you’re determined to have this large of a wedding—”

Jason frowned, looked up, then looked at Justus. “That’s the second time you said something like that—what’s the problem?”

“The problem is,” Justus said with a sigh as he sat back down, “is that Sonny isn’t wrong. Marrying Ric’s wife—”

“Ex,” Jason snapped.

“Not to Ric,” Justus said calmly. “Marrying his wife, after he went after her about an affair with you—knowing she’s pregnant—the same church—if Ric is paying attention—”

“I thought about that,” Jason said. “You think I didn’t?”

“Of course not—”

“We’ve doubled security. Elizabeth will have two guards that day—one to stand right next to her, and another to follow her inside. I also don’t think—” Jason shook his head. “I’m aware of the risk. I don’t agree it’s as serious as you obviously do, but if you looked over the guest list, then you know Elizabeth invited the Vegas. And the Tagliattis.”

“And the Ruiz family is sending a representative,” Bernie said. “She did not reach out to the Zaccharas, but I followed up with Anthony. He wasn’t expecting anything less with the bad blood.”

“Courtney—” Jason grimaced. “She didn’t want all those people at the wedding last year, and I didn’t push her on it.” He hadn’t cared about the guest list. Or the wedding. Or about marrying Courtney at all, which should have told him something. “But they’ll be there this year. With their security.”

“He might want the challenge—”

“Or he might not. Am I supposed to tell Elizabeth after everything she’s been through that this is one more thing Ric Lansing is going to take from her?” Jason demanded. He shoved the contracts aside. “No. We have the security we need, and Elizabeth gets this. Is that understood?” He glared at the both of them, waiting for them to complain.

“Of course.”

Jason left the office, and Justus winced as he slammed the door. “This building is going to come down again if this keeps up,” he muttered.

“That went well,” Bernie said pleasantly. “I’m sure we glad we decided to do this today.”

“Shut up.”

Kelly’s: Diner

Emily grimaced as she leaned back in her chair. “Why did we have to grow up?”

Nikolas frowned, then traded a look with his brother before looking back at their best friend. “Because that’s how the body works?”

“And time,” Lucky said, with a serious nod. “It—you know—marches forward.”

“I will pummel the both of you,” Emily muttered. She played with the straw in her drink, then sighed. “No, I just—I liked it when our problems were easier.”

“Whose childhood are you remembering?” Lucky asked. “Because I got shot when I was thirteen—”

“Eighteen,” Nikolas said with a nod. “I was definitely shot when I was eighteen—oh,” he pointed at Lucky, “and you shoved me down the steps when I was—what, sixteen?”

Lucky snapped his fingers. “I moved out at that age—”

“Is this a comedy act the two of you have put together?” Emily said, narrowing her eyes. “Because it’s closing on opening night.”

“We’re just messing with you,” Lucky told him. “Well, I am—you know Cassadines—there’s no sense of humor there—”

“Listen, I picked a very funny picture of you for the Spencer dartboard,” Nikolas told him. “You’re making a weird face, I think you’re sneezing—”

“That is the second time he’s mentioned Spencer dartboards,” Lucky said to Emily. “I think they’re real.”

“I wouldn’t try to find out. You could catch me in the middle of a practice session, and I might get confused—”

Emily growled, and the brothers tried to cover their snickers. “Sorry, Em,” Nikolas said, putting his hands up. “You just—you looked upset. And we wanted to cheer you up. What’s wrong?”

“I know we’ve all been through a lot,” she said. “I know we did not have a normal childhood. But I just—I miss when we could see each other all the time. This is the first time the three of us have managed to grab lunch since September. And Elizabeth can’t be here. I just—I miss it. I miss us making time for each other. And if Lucky weren’t living here, I wouldn’t even see him half—” Emily paused. “Why are you making that face?”

“Well, if you’re counting Kelly’s to keep us together,” Lucky said, wincing, “then you’re going to be really mad. Because I’m moving out at the end of the month—”

“Wait—wait—” Emily put up her hands. “Are you talking about Kelsey? Are you and Kelsey moving in together? Because that’s awesome!” She grinned. “Lucky!”

“Mom will start planning the wedding when you tell her,” Nikolas told Lucky. “You ready for that?”

“I’m not telling her until the last minute, so no—but, yeah, we just decided last night. I gave Aunt Bobbie my notice this morning.” Lucky wiggled his shoulders. “Talk about growing up. The last time I lived with someone, it was just Elizabeth and I sharing a room upstairs. And that—” He whistled. “Did not turn out well.”

“Pfft. Don’t even count that,” Emily told him with a shake of her head. “You were brainwashed, and Liz was barely there.”

“Oh, man, that hurt.” Lucky wrinkled his nose. “I mean, yeah, it’s true, but still. Speaking of my ex-fiancée—” He looked at Nikolas. “You get an invitation to the wedding of the year?”

“I did, but I’m also supposed to be giving the bride away. I wasn’t sure if you’d go considering she’s marrying Jason.”

“Eh, I’m in Major Crimes, not Organized. I don’t think that’ll be a problem. Also, Luke Spencer is my dad, so…” Lucky shrugged. “Kelsey might sit it out, though, I think. She doesn’t really know either of them, and I don’t think she’s as comfortable with the blurry lines in Port Charles yet.”

Nikolas tipped his head in agreement, then frowned at Emily. “You just got that look on your face again. What’s up?”

“Oh—it’s—it’s nothing.” Emily hesitated. “It might be something, but I don’t know if I should say anything—”

“Oh, man, we’re going to be here all night.” Lucky raised his brows. “Em—”

“Elizabeth was supposed to have these tests last week,” Emily admitted finally.

“Tests?” Nikolas repeated, leaning forward. “Wait—”

“She’s been having some breathing problems,” she continued, “and she was supposed to find out a few days ago, but she keeps dodging the question, and I finally stopped asking—” She shredded a napkin into small pieces. “I guess I’m wondering if no news is good news or if no news is the apocalypse—”

Nikolas, looking a bit uneasy, glanced at Lucky, who also looked worried before focusing on Emily again. “I think we should just let Elizabeth set her own pace,” he said finally. “She’s been dealing with a lot. She’ll share whatever it is when she’s ready.”

“I know. I know. I just—I’m just tired, you know, and I want some good things to happen.” Emily pasted a smile on her face. “So let’s just concentrate on the good. I’m really excited for you and Kelsey.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Elizabeth sat down on the sofa and reached for the remote. A long soak in the bath and a nap had been all she’d needed to get some energy back. She flicked through the channels, then settled on Oprah. She dragged a pillow in front of her, holding it against her chest, and prepared to relax.

Around ten minutes later, she heard some muffled voices outside her door—and she sighed, recognizing Sonny, Cody, and Max. Elizabeth got to her feet and shuffled to the door, pulling it open.

“Miss Webber, I got this—” Cody told her, but Elizabeth frowned at him, looking at Sonny standing in the doorway, glaring at her with a beleaguered Max just behind him.

“Got what? What’s wrong?”

“He’s trying to tell me I can’t come in without Jason here,” Sonny bit out. “You think I’m going to slap you around or something?”

“Uh…” Elizabeth blinked. “I’m not—I don’t—” She looked at Cody oddly, then sighed. It must have something Jason said. “No, come in, Sonny. It’s fine.” The least she could do for Jason was to do whatever she could to relieve tension with Sonny.

“Miss Webber—”

“It’s fine, Cody.” Elizabeth stepped back, and Sonny stalked through the door. “I’m sorry, Sonny,” she said, determined not to make any waves with Jason’s best friend. She was putting Jason through enough — she could at least try to make nice with Sonny. “I’ll talk to Cody.”

“I know—” Sonny took a deep breath, turned to face her. “I know I was wrong. I’m sorry. I apologized. I didn’t mean to hurt you—”

“Sonny, we’ve been through this. Really. I don’t think you’d hurt me.” At least not today. “What’s wrong? You look upset.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me you were throwing this huge wedding?” he demanded. “The same church where Ric kidnapped Carly? A party at the hotel? Did you even think about her before you did this?”

Elizabeth folded her arms across her chest, looked at the floor, feeling the tendrils of shame curl in her throat all over again. “Jason talked to her over Christmas. I’m not really into church the way you and Jason are, so I didn’t think about it after he said it was fine. When Emily and I started talking — she just said Queen of Angels, and I didn’t think about it—”

“Of course not.” Sonny shook his head. “I thought you understood Jason. I really thought you got it this time.”

Elizabeth blinked, stared at him. “What? What are you talking about?”

“When Courtney told me about that huge wedding—I knew it then—I knew she didn’t get him. Jason—” Sonny gestured towards the coffee table, and Elizabeth looked at it. Covered in wedding magazines and invitation samples. “I mean, do you think Jason wants any of this?”

“He told me—” Elizabeth cleared her throat. “He didn’t tell me no—” Which wasn’t the same thing.

“When has he ever told you no?” Sonny demanded. “What? Once?”

“I—” Elizabeth exhaled slowly, feeling her lungs start to burn. She pressed her fist against her chest. “But he talked to Carly,” she said again. “He said it was okay—”

“What is she supposed to say? And what about me? What about Michael? You think any of us want to go back there?”

“I—” A tear slid down her cheek. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think—”

“No, you don’t. You never do. It’s always about you, Elizabeth. You think that I don’t see that? It’s always about what you need. How many times did you play with Jason? Shoving Lucky in his face? Zander? Ric?” Sonny shook his head. “I thought you were different this time. I thought you’d grown up. But you’re still the selfish little girl who runs away when things get hard.”

“Not like that—” She closed her eyes. “That’s not—” Elizabeth tried to take a deep breath, but her breath caught in her throat, and she almost choked on it. She turned away from Sonny.

Inhale slowly. Count to fifteen. Exhale. Inhale slowly—

“I’m sorry,” Sonny said after a long minute. His voice was quieter. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You’re right.” Hot tears snaked their way down her cheeks. “You’re right. I didn’t think at all. I just—I was so happy when he asked, and I wanted to be married to him. And it just—I just thought about what I wanted. I am selfish.”

“Elizabeth—”

“I didn’t mean to forget about Carly.” She turned back to Sonny. “I know you think it’s my fault this is happening—all of it—”

Sonny blinked rapidly, put his hands up. “Listen—”

“Maybe it is. Maybe I do just think about myself too much,” she murmured. “I should think more about Jason. I shouldn’t be making his life harder.” And that wasn’t that all she’d done for months? For years? Give him one more thing to worry about?

“Uh—” Sonny scratched his temple. “I didn’t expect you to agree—”

“I just—Jason goes to church almost every week,” Elizabeth told him, desperate for Sonny to understand that she’d just made a mistake. “He still goes, so when Emily asked where I wanted to get married—I thought he’d want that. I mean, was I wrong?”

“Well, no—but—” he paused. “I guess I just don’t know why you’d want something big. After last year. He nearly married Courtney in that church. Less than a year ago. Why would you want it there?”

Because she didn’t think about Courtney, Elizabeth thought to herself. Until she’d gone to the church the day before, had seen that folder — Courtney had seemed like a bad dream. A nightmare that was over.

“I shouldn’t have come over like this,” Sonny said when she remained silent. “I’m sorry. I just—I was angry. And I wasn’t thinking. I have to think more,” he said more to himself. “I have to stop.”

“It’s okay,” she said faintly. She looked at him. “I know you love Jason, Sonny. He’s a brother to you. I don’t want to come between you.”

“You’re not. Christ—” Sonny scrubbed his hands over his face, seemed to look at something in the distance. “I think sometimes I just—I want to scream at the world,” he said finally. “I don’t always have a reason. Everything is wrong. And I don’t know how to stop it.”

Elizabeth rubbed the side of her face. “It’s fine. Your delivery might leave something to be desired, but you’re not wrong. This wedding—it’s not Jason. And he deserves it to be about him. I’ll—I’ll fix it.”

“He’s going to kill me,” Sonny muttered. “Don’t—damn it.” He spun on his heel, jerked open the door, only to see Cody standing there. “Get out of my way,” he said, shoving the guard back and stalking around the corner to his penthouse.

“Miss Webber?”

“I’m fine.” Elizabeth brushed at her cheeks, looked at the concerned guard, and forced a smile on her face. “I’m fine. Thanks, Cody. Did—did Jason tell you Sonny couldn’t come in when he’s not here?”

“He did—”

“Okay. I’m fine,” she told him again, and this time Cody got the message and closed the door, leaving Elizabeth alone.

The Cellar: Office

Jason knocked lightly on Carly’s door, and she sprang up from her desk. “Jason! I’ve been thinking about you all day.” She dragged him into the office, closing the door behind them.

“Is this going to make my day worse?” he asked with a sigh as he walked over to look at Morgan in the bassinet. He adjusted the infant’s blanket before turning back to Carly, who was scowling at him. “You usually mean well, but—”

“You wish all we had to deal with were my plans,” she muttered, folding her arms. “No, I was thinking about you because the invitations came, and Mama found out from Taggert that Elizabeth talked him into going to the ceremony. Did you know?”

“I did,” Jason said, blinking with surprise. “I knew she was inviting Taggert and Baldwin. I didn’t think they’d go—”

“Well, they’re softies,” Carly said. “Seriously, Jase. Sonny is going to flip—”

Jason winced, looked away, then scratched his temple. “Too late. He’s not happy about any of it. The size of the wedding. The church. He thinks we should get married in the courthouse.”

“He would. He .” Carly lifted her brows. “I was surprised when Elizabeth talked to me about the guest list. She thought I should know if there were people who should be invited since I’ve planned a few of these—”

“A few?”

“Don’t start.” But she was relieved to see him cracking jokes—even at her expense. “She didn’t want to mess anything up—but Sonny’s never cared about any of that crap. I told her to talk to Bernie—since his brother was who I usually asked.”

“Thanks. He helped out—”

“So, what brings you by?” Carly asked. “You only come here when you’re avoiding something. Is it the wedding? Do you want it to be smaller? Because, listen, it’s probably too late for that—”

“I don’t care about any of that,” Jason told her. “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t. Elizabeth can plan whatever she wants. As long as we’re married at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter to me. I just want her to be happy.”

“Okay,” Carly said slowly. She didn’t buy that for a second. “Then—is it about the tests I’m not supposed to know about?” Jason’s head snapped around to look at her. Whatever lightness she’d inspired earlier had disappeared.

“Yeah, after you came here last week, I might have said something to Mama about things not being okay. She got worried and went to talk to Emily. Apparently, Elizabeth was waiting on some test results and went radio silent after they were supposed to come in.”

Jason stared at her, then looked away. “I can’t get into it, Carly.”

“Okay. Is that another reason you’re on board with this wedding? Because Elizabeth is sick, and you want her to have whatever she wants?” Carly asked, hesitantly. “I’m not sure that’s a great way to handle it—”

“I came to check on you because Sonny’s been aggravated a lot lately, and he tends to take it out on you,” Jason cut in. “So—”

“He came by yesterday, wanting to see the boys. I told him not without therapy or you.” Carly sighed. “And I did that knowing full well he’d never ask you and I didn’t want you in the middle of it. I was thinking maybe I was too hard on him.”

Jason frowned at her, drawing his brows down with a shake of his head. “What do you mean? Are you having second thoughts about leaving—”

“No, I needed to be out of that situation,” Carly admitted. “I know I made the right choice for me. I just don’t know if I’m doing the right thing with the boys. With Michael.”

“I don’t know. Maybe it would help if he saw them.” Jason rubbed the back of his neck. “Let me look at my schedule this week. I could bring Michael over to hang out for a few hours—”

“Jason, I don’t want to add any burdens—”

“You’re not. You didn’t ask. And my life would be easier if Sonny got himself under control, so—” Jason nodded. “I’ll let you know.”

“Thanks, Jason. I just—I wish we could skip to the part where this is all over, but it never seems to be finished, does it?” Carly asked.

“No,” Jason said on a long breath, “it doesn’t.”

“You’ll let me know if I can do anything for you or Elizabeth, right?” Carly asked.

“We’re fine—”

“Jason.” Carly waited for him to look at her. Meet her eyes. “You don’t have to tell me. I can take the hint, but don’t lie to me, either.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll call about taking Michael to see Sonny.”

Harborview Towers: Hallway

Jason frowned when Cody stepped in front of the door, blocking him from going inside. “What’s wrong?” he asked, dreading creeping up his spine. “Did Sonny try to come over?” Damn it—

“He did. And Miss Webber heard us, so she came to the door and insisted on letting him in.” Cody paused. “I didn’t hear much, so they didn’t argue, but she looked like she’d been crying when he left.”

Jason closed his eyes, then nodded. “Okay. Thanks.”

“I’m sorry—”

“No, it’s—I know what I told you, but Elizabeth is her own person, and her orders come first. You get that, right?” Jason asked the guard. “She will always come first.”

“Yeah.” Cody nodded slowly. “Yeah, I got it, boss. I remember.”

“Good. You’re done for the night, thanks.”

Jason pushed the door open, frowning when he saw Elizabeth pacing from the fireplace to the window by the pool table, then back as she spoke on the phone. The coffee table was exploding with papers—her wedding binder, he realized, his stomach sinking. With papers pulled out and sections strewn out on any available surface.

She looked at him, and he could see the faint tear stains Cody had mentioned. “I’ll be done in a minute,” Elizabeth said to him, before turning back to the phone. “Yeah. Yeah, I appreciate it. I know it’s last minute, but it’s important. No—no, I promise, I’m not turning Bridezilla on you. You did a great job. I was the one who was wrong—”

“Elizabeth—”

She shook her head, then passed him to grab her purse from the desk. She took out her wallet. “Yeah, let the vendors know that if there are any change fees—” She reeled off her bank card—the bank card he knew was attached her own checking account, not one of his. Jason removed his coat, wondering if she’d just canceled the entire damn wedding—

He was going to kill Sonny.

He picked up her jacket, slung as usual over the desk chair, and hung it up with hers, wondering how he was going to handle this.

“Okay. I appreciate it,” she repeated. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Elizabeth snapped her phone shut and looked at him. “Don’t get mad.”

“I’m not mad, I’m worried—what did Sonny say to you?” he demanded.

“Don’t be mad at him either. I can’t fix everything. I thought about it,” she admitted. “But you already went to so much trouble at the church for security, so I can’t change that unless we reschedule the whole thing, and I don’t want to do that—”

She was still planning to marry him, so some of the muscles in his stomach unclenched. “You don’t have to change anything—”

“But I canceled the caterer. I threw around Edward’s name to get that done, so I think we might not get screwed on the contract too much. He’s always telling me to do that, so—” She took a deep breath — and he watched her pause, knowing she was counting to fifteen.

“Sit down—” Jason said, taking her by her hips, steering her backward to the sofa. “You were supposed to relax today—”

“I did. I took a nap, and I had a bath. I’m fine. I’m just tired,” Elizabeth told him. “I thought maybe I could just cancel the reception—”

“Hey—” Jason took her hands in his. “Sonny doesn’t get to have a say in our wedding—”

“No, but you didn’t either. And I know you’re going to tell me you don’t care,” Elizabeth said when Jason opened his mouth. “And I know that’s true. But I care. I want you to have a good time—”

“I will—”

“Jason—” She pressed her lips together. “I canceled the caterer,” she repeated. “I kept the cakes, though, because I really wanted that chocolate fudge.”

“Elizabeth, what are we going to eat?” Jason asked with a laugh that was threaded with more nerves than humor. He didn’t know what to do with this side of her. “You can have whatever you want—”

“What I want is for this to be our wedding. Not mine. So I’m going to tell Taggert and Scott I appreciated them agreeing to come to the ceremony, but that I was trimming the guest list. I can’t cut all of the guests,” Elizabeth continued, “and because I invited business associates, we can’t cancel the reception altogether, but I got rid of a lot of the decorations and some of the flowers in the church—”

Jason leaned forward, cut off her stream of words with his mouth. She sank into him, curling her fist in his shirt. “I love you. You don’t have to cut anything or anyone you want to have there—”

“It’s too late. I called Eli’s, and they were a little surprised,” Elizabeth admitted, “but they agreed to cater. And Bobbie said that she can get Don to whip up things from Kelly’s—chili and sandwiches—I made sure he’s going to have your usual. Plus, I also talked Edward into letting me use the Grille’s kitchen for all of that, and I’m grabbing a few things from their menu because of the chicken and fish options I put on the RSVP card—”

Jason just shook his head. “I wouldn’t have cared about any of it—what did Sonny say?”

“It doesn’t matter—”

“It does to me.”

She hesitated, then sighed, staring at her lap. “He just reminded me that sometimes I make things all about me. And that’s true—” Elizabeth frowned at him when he swore, “Don’t shake your head. You know that’s true. I can’t—I can’t fix that. I can’t go back in time and not hurt you—”

“Damn it, I’m going to kill him—”

“He was trying to help in his own, really aggravating way—” Elizabeth grabbed his hand as Jason started to stand up. “I can’t. We both know that the scales aren’t balanced. I hurt you more than you ever hurt me—”

“I don’t give a damn—”

“But I do. And it’s important to me that I make sure I put you first when I can.” She bit her lip. “I can’t—I can’t change my mind about the baby. I’m sorry. I know you want me to—”

“Elizabeth—”

“And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the sentencing. That wasn’t fair. And I definitely should have believed you about Ric. And Lucky. And Zander,” Elizabeth said, with a wince as Jason just shook his head. “I can’t do anything about all of that. But I can—at the very least—make sure that the happiest day of my life is not a day you have to wince and get through.”

“It was never going to be like that,” Jason told her. She pressed her lips together in a mutinous line and glared at him, he sighed. “But if you’re telling me you went to all this trouble so I could have a pastrami on rye on our wedding day, I guess I can’t be that mad.”

Elizabeth sighed. “You get it.”

“No,” Jason said with a shake of his head. “I don’t. But this is important to you, and I’m not going to argue.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “You don’t have to cut guests. The menu—that’s fine.”

“You don’t really want Taggert and Scott at the wedding. You told me that,” Elizabeth said, “but I didn’t care—”

“Did you want to invite the Vegas?” Jason asked. “The Tagliattis? Did you want to check the guest list with my business manager to make sure you invited the right people and didn’t insult anyone?”

“Jason—”

“Thank you. For doing that. I didn’t think about it,” he admitted. “It does make things easier. Sonny and I should pay more attention to that kind of thing. Especially now that we have kids.” He paused. “So, if you’re inviting my people, I want you to have your people there.”

“Even if they’re a DA and a cop?” Elizabeth asked skeptically. “I only invited Lucky because of Emily and Nikolas—Oh, God, I invited my ex-fiancée—How do you put up with me?” she asked, putting her head in her hands.

“Well, technically, Carly’s my ex, and you invited her,” Jason said, amused now that the storm seemed to have passed, and the worst thing that had happened was he would actually get to eat the food he liked. Most importantly, she was still marrying him.

She wrinkled her nose. “Oh. Yeah, right.”

“As long as you don’t drag Zander back from wherever he disappeared to, I think we can say it’s even—” Jason waited, relieved when she smiled. “Thank you. For going to this trouble for me. You didn’t have to.”

“Yeah, I did.” Elizabeth brushed her fingertips against his cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

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