Inspiration

The only thing I remember about writing this story is that it is the first and only story I ever posted at The Canvas to hit 50 replies. I immediately wrote a sequel, Where Do We Go From Here, and it got like 15. Ha. I also remember sitting in my living room writing this on my old laptop, but it’s really just a memory flash. Other than that, I got nothing.

Timeline

This is stet in June of 2003, but it’s kind of a murky timeline. Jason and Elizabeth have been broken up since October. It looks as if she either never dated Ric or has left him as well. Jason and Courtney are dating.

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Time, sometimes the time just slips away

She stood outside the door, clutching the package wrapped in brown paper. She forced herself to knock, reminding herself that this was a good idea. That it was the right thing to do.

She was going to be calm. She was going to be nice. She was going to be mature about the situation.

The door swung open after a few minutes and he looked at her for a few minutes before saying anything. It’d been months literally since they’d laid eyes on one another. He’d made it his business to carefully avoid the places she frequented and she had actually quit her job, moved to a new apartment just to keep from seeing him.

“Hi,” she said softly. She looked down, away from his gaze.

“Hi,” he replied. He slid his hand down the edge of the door to the knob. “Elizabeth. It’s…it’s been a while.”

“Six months, two weeks and seven days,” Elizabeth told him softly.

“Oh,” Jason replied, a little uncomfortable with having it reeled off so easily. It was actually rather miraculous that they’d managed to live in the same town and go that long without even running into each other.

“I just—” Elizabeth shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “I came to give you—” She looked up and met his gaze directly. “I came to give you a wedding present.”

And you’re left with yesterday
Left with the memories

There didn’t seem to be enough air in the entire world for Jason to breathe. He felt like someone had just suckered punched him. He should have known Elizabeth would find out—but for some foolish reason, he’d tried to avoid the idea.

“You didn’t—” Jason shook his head and swallowed hard. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” Elizabeth replied quietly. “We were—we were friends once, and I—friends do things like this for each other. I didn’t get the chance to—when you were married to Brenda—” Elizabeth stopped abruptly and took a deep breath. “I just—I wanted to thank you.”

Jason frowned. “Thank me?” He couldn’t think of one reason for Elizabeth to thank him. Hit him, yell at him—maybe—but thanking him—?

“You saved my life,” Elizabeth replied, simply. “A few times and I just—I wanted to make sure you knew that our friendship was very important to me.”

“It was important to me, too,” Jason told her, feeling the sharp stinging pain of referring to it in the past tense. “And you saved my life, too.”

I, I’ll always think of you and smile
And be happy for the time

Elizabeth blinked back the sudden tears that sprung to her eyes. She looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. “I just—be happy, okay?”

He nodded and tried to speak past the lump in his throat. “You, too,” he managed to say. “That’s—that’s all I ever wanted.”

She bit her lip and nodded. “I, um, was invited to the wedding,” Elizabeth said, looking back at him. “But I hope you understand why I can’t come.”

“I do,” Jason replied, wanting so very badly to tell her why he was marrying in the first place but finding himself unable to do it. There were too many people involved—too many people that would be hurt if Jason spoke the truth and he had new responsibilities now. He couldn’t let them down. “Elizabeth—”

“I’m so glad I was part of your life,” Elizabeth whispered. “And I’m so thankful you were in mine.” She held out the package.

Jason took it and as their hands held it together for a split second, she said it.

“Goodbye, Jason.”

She let go and it hung listlessly in his hands. He blinked back the sudden moisture in his own eyes. Goodbye.

She’d never spoken that word before. Not even when she’d walked out of the penthouse or walked away from him in the park.

Elizabeth waited a moment but when he didn’t say anything, she turned away and went to the elevator.

When he heard the ding of the elevator doors closing, he stepped back into the penthouse and stared at the package she’d given him.

All of the other gifts—Courtney had said they were supposed to wait until the wedding, but Jason didn’t want to. Didn’t care about traditions.

He ripped the package off, revealing the canvas underneath. His heart stopped, his stomach dropped.

She’d given him The Wind.

I had you with me
Though we go our separate ways

Elizabeth paused in her methodically packing and looked up at the door. No one came by anymore. Not since Lucky went to London, Nikolas and Gia went off to New York City so she could attend school, or Zander went to Arizona to visit Emily in rehab.

Not since Audrey had died of a sudden massive coronary.

She stood up, shoving a few boxes out of her way and pulled open the heavy door Jason had put in after the kidnapping. Her heart skipped a beat.

“Jason,” she breathed. “What—what are you doing here?”

Jason held up the painting and shook his head. “I can’t take this.”

She frowned and looked down. “Oh. I can understand why you don’t want it. I mean, it’s not that good—”

“No,” Jason cut in. “That’s not it. I do want it.”

“Well, then why can’t you take it?” Elizabeth asked, crossing her arms tightly. It was June but she still felt cold.

“B-because,” Jason stopped, tried to think of how to explain this. How could he tell her he couldn’t take this painting because he couldn’t say goodbye to her? “It’s not something I can take with me.” He met her eyes, recognized the misery he knew was reflected in his. “It’s one I have to come back to.”

Her lower lip trembled at the sound of the familiar words and she mustered the strength to tell him.

“That only works if I’m here,'” she told him quietly. “And I won’t be.” She looked down at the ground. “I’m moving, Jason. I’m leaving Port Charles.”

I won’t forget so don’t forget
The memories we made

He gripped the door frame and took a deep breath. “What—why?”

Elizabeth sighed. “Because I don’t have anything left here,” she said quietly. “My grandmother is dead. I have nothing left tying me here.”

He hated that she was right. He hated the fact that she’d suffered through Audrey’s death alone—her family not even coming for the funeral. He hated that he’d been unable to be there for her.

He’d stood in the back of the church on the day of viewing and watched Elizabeth sit alone in the front pew—the rows of the church filled with colleagues from the hospital and old friends. Some spoke, but no one came near Elizabeth.

He couldn’t understand why they’d profess to miss Audrey but deny Elizabeth comfort in her grief. He’d watched as the people filed out of the church and Elizabeth waited until everyone was gone before her small shoulders started to shake with tears.

He’d wanted to sit next to her and wrap his arms around her, but he didn’t. He didn’t know why he didn’t or what kept him from doing so, but he’d waited until her sobs had quieted before leaving.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I just—”

“You what?” Elizabeth asked, tired of the word games they seemed to play these days.

“I can’t say goodbye.”

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me

“Sure you can,” Elizabeth said, adopting a sarcastic tone. “You can say it, turn around and walk away.” Her gaze turned angry, her eyes burning a hole right through him. “It’s never stopped you before.”

He flinched, stung. He deserved that. He’d walked away from Elizabeth, left town three times. The third time—he could have called her on the lie that had spilled from her lips about wanting Lucky. But he’d been to stung by her rejection to think clearly and he’d let her walk away.

He’d let her walk away one too many times and now—now she was walking away again.

And he had a miserable feeling that he couldn’t stop her this time.

“I’m sorry,” Jason repeated. “I never should have let you walk out that night.”

“You’re about nine months too late,” Elizabeth remarked.

“I know.” He shifted. “I thought it needed to be said anyway.” He looked away, down the hall. “She’s pregnant.”

Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine
While we were wild and free

She blinked. Blinked again. “What?”

“Courtney,” Jason said. “She’s pregnant. That’s why we’re getting married.”

“Oh,” Elizabeth said softly. Courtney Matthews was pregnant with Jason’s baby. She would have his child—a little boy or girl that looked just like him.

Her eyes burned with tears as she stared over his shoulder. How many times had she fantasized about starting a family with Jason? Having his children? Being his wife?

Fantasies. Dreams. That’s all they ever were.

“I was going to break up with her,” Jason continued, bringing Elizabeth back to the present. “I’m not in love with her and I was—I was going to tell her so but—” Jason stopped and sighed.

“She told you she was pregnant,” Elizabeth finished, sadly. She sighed deeply. “Well, congratulations.”

“Elizabeth—”

“Jason, it’s—” Elizabeth took a deep breath. “Jason, it’s over.”

Please remember, please remember me
Goodbye, there’s just no sadder word to say

He shook his head, almost forcibly. “No. I don’t—I refuse to believe that.”

She sighed and studied him with sad, sympathetic eyes. He looked different. His hair was a little longer, there were circles under his eyes and he looked like he’d lost a little weight.

He looked miserable.

“It has to be,” Elizabeth said, softly. “You’re getting married. And you and me—we can’t be friends anymore.”

“Why?” Jason demanded. “Give me one good reason why.”

“Because we don’t remember how to do that,” Elizabeth insisted. “We haven’t been just friends in so long—there’s always going to be more between us and we can’t do that anymore.”

“Elizabeth—”

“Jason, it wouldn’t be fair to Courtney,” Elizabeth said quietly. “And I’m through hurting other people.”

He sighed and looked away. She was right. No matter how much he wanted it—he and Elizabeth could never be just friends.

They had always been more than friends and it wasn’t fair to anyone else involved.

And it’s sad to walk away
With just the memories

“Just say it,” Elizabeth said softly. “Say it and go. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

Jason shook his head. “No. I can’t—I let you walk away before and I—I don’t want to do it anymore.”

“It’s too late,” Elizabeth firmly. “I—we can’t go back. You can’t change it.”

“I know that,” Jason said, almost irritated. “But the future—”

“You’re getting married,” Elizabeth said. “You’re marrying Courtney. That’s the future. You’re starting a family and I’m moving out of town.”

“I know. But—”

“But nothing.” Elizabeth’s tone turned gentle. “Look, we—our chance—it’s gone now. Okay? I don’t like it, but it’s reality, Jason. You never used to do this. You never—”

“I never made so many mistakes like this,” Jason argued. “And now, it’s like I can’t stop doing it. One stupid thing after another.” He took a deep breath. “All right. I’ll say it. If that’s what you want, I’ll do it.”

“It is,” Elizabeth lied. “It’s what has to happen.”

Who’s to know what might have been
We’ll leave behind a life and time
I’ll never know again

“Come with me,” Jason said suddenly. He set the canvas down, just inside the door and stretched his hand out.

Elizabeth blinked back more tears at the sight of the familiar pose—she’d turned it down once before.

“Jason—”

“Just for a little while.” He didn’t let his hand fall to his side, kept it hanging in the air. “If we’re—if we’re going to say goodbye, let me do it right.”

Curiously, Elizabeth took his hand and let him lead her out of the apartment. He paused while she locked the door.

He led her down the stairs, out of the door and to the alley where she stopped suddenly.

It’d been more than two years since she’d been this close to his motorcycle. And it seemed fitting to end their friendship the same it had begun.

With a ride.

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me

He handed her the helmet but she shook her head. “I don’t want to wear it,” Elizabeth told him. “I can’t feel the wind on my face with it on.”

Jason hesitated but nodded. “All right.” He put the helmet back on the side of the bike and got on. He put the key in the ignition and started it. Elizabeth straddled the seat and wrapped her arms around his waist tightly.

“If—” Jason stopped and took a deep breath. He forced himself to finish the first words he’d ever said to her before a ride. “If you don’t like something, just yell.”

Elizabeth didn’t bother to blink the tears back this time. He couldn’t see them anywhere. The tears slid down her face and she leaned her face on his back, turned it sideways, letting her cheek rest on his t-shirt.

Jason pulled away from the alley, trying to ignore the warm tears seeping through the shirt.

And remember, Please remember me
Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me

Her tears only lasted for a few minutes. As if recognizing her misery, he took up the cliff roads first. He went fast—just like she liked it and took the turns even faster. He drove the roads twice—he contemplating just riding out of Port Charles altogether.

The idea was tempting—just taking Elizabeth and running away from everything. He knew if he removed the other people in their lives, they would have made it.

But he knew that idea wouldn’t work. She was right. No matter how much he didn’t want it to be true—

The day he’d never wanted to come was here.

It was time to say goodbye.

Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine
While we were wild and free

He pulled the bike to a stop at familiar place. The statues where they’d tried it before. She said they couldn’t see each other and asked him to take her home.

Elizabeth got off the bike and crossed her arms. She walked over to the statue of the girl and studied her.

Jason silently turned off the bike and swung her leg over the side. He stood a few feet behind Elizabeth.

“She’s not smiling,” she murmured. She turned around and looked at him. “I never came back up here, you know.”

“Why not?” Jason asked. “You seemed to like it before.”

“It didn’t seem right,” Elizabeth replied. “I didn’t want to come alone and I didn’t want to bring anyone else.”

Then remember, please remember me

“I should have brought you back up here once I came back last year,” Jason said. “I should have done a lot a things differently.”

“It’s not your fault,” Elizabeth remarked. “I’m not completely blameless. I made mistakes—I hurt you, I know that.” She sighed and looked back to the statue. “I just wish—”

When she didn’t continue, he took a step towards her. “What?”

Her eyes were glittering with tears. “I wish we weren’t a regret. I wish we could have had a real chance.”

His eyes softened and he touched her face, cupped her cheek. She leaned into his touch, much the way she had that night in the penthouse.”

And how we laugh and how we smile
And how this heart was yours and mine
And how a dream was out of reach
I stood by you, you stood by me

Her warm tears splashed his hand and he took another step towards. “So do I,” Jason said softly. “I wish I had tried.”

He leaned down and brushed her lips gently. Elizabeth sighed, her mouth opening up to him. The kiss was both passionate and gentle. It was bittersweet, since it would more than likely be their last.

He changed the angle of the kiss, his other hand coming up to thread through her hair. Her hands clutched at his back, fisted in his maroon t-shirt.

He didn’t want to stop kissing her. Didn’t want to break contact. Because then he’d have to take her home and say goodbye.

We took each day and made it shine
We wrote our names across the sky

Finally, he raised his head and stepped away. Elizabeth let go and touched his face. When her thumb caressed his cheek, he realized that a few tears had escaped his eyes.

“I think we’d better go,” she whispered.

He nodded wordlessly.

He let her drive back to her apartment.

We ride so fast, we ride so free
And I knew that you had me

She stepped in front of her apartment door and opened it. She leaned in and pulled The Wind. “I really want you to have this,” Elizabeth said, holding it out to him.

He took it this time. “All right.”

Elizabeth took a deep breath. “Goodbye, Jason.”

He leaned in and kissed her forehead before taking a large step back. His eyes locked on hers.

“Goodbye, Elizabeth.”

He waited a moment and walked down the hall. When Elizabeth heard his footsteps fade, she sagged against the doorjamb and started to cry.

Please remember, please remember