I’m too shy to ask, I’m to proud to lose
But sooner or later I’ve got to choose
And once again I’m thinking about
Taking the easy way out
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know if I let you go?
– If I Let You Go, Westlife

---

Friday, January 7, 2000

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

The skies were just beginning to lighten with hints of dawn as Jason finally got home, after a shipment had arrived three hours later than they’d expected and a chunk had been missing—

Cursing the security at the border which had held up a second shipload, Jason was feeling the edges of exhaustion fighting at the edges. He didn’t need a lot of sleep, but he still needed some, and there hadn’t been much to go around lately. They’d gone to bed late after the PCPD had destroyed the penthouse, and he’d woken with Elizabeth at four-thirty in the morning for her shift at Kelly’s.

Now he stood in the middle of his living room as weak, gray morning light illuminated a room that had been mostly bare the day before — the only piece of furniture to get delivered before he’d left had been the pool table.

A leather sofa that looked similar to the one the cops had destroyed had been delivered, along with a matching arm chair. A new coffee table sat in front of the sofa — and a console table with a new television set.

He glanced towards the stairs, to the bedroom he’d shared with Elizabeth for nearly a week. He’d left yesterday with a strange tension in the air — she hadn’t really reacted to his news about the time limit on their marriage, and he didn’t really know what to do with that.

She hadn’t seemed disappointed or relieved — two emotions he would have understood. Something in the middle that left him uncomfortable and questioning himself — which was not a position he enjoyed.

He considered just stretching out on the sofa for a few hours, but would that hurt her? Would she be angry he didn’t come upstairs? Would she care?

He exhaled slowly. Only one way to find out.

He removed his boots before he went up the stairs, his steps not making a sound on the carpet. He stopped outside their bedroom door, then looked over at the third bedroom which hadn’t been taken over as her temporary art studio.

What if the furniture downstairs meant that she’d also ordered a bed for that room? Maybe she wouldn’t even be in the master bedroom. After all, it wasn’t like the PCPD would come back to search and notice separate bedrooms.

Jason didn’t realize how much he’d expected to find an empty room until he twisted the knob and gently pushed it open.

There was a light still on at the side of the bed. Elizabeth was on her side, curled up, eyes closed. She’d fallen asleep, the magazine she’d been reading on the floor beside the bed, her fingertips dangling of the edge as if she’d turned over and let it fall.

She was here. And she was asleep. He had time to think.

Jason changed into a pair of sweats, then switched off the light, picking up the magazine so she wouldn’t slip on it when she woke up. Then he climbed into bed next to her, listening to her breathing, soft and even.

He’d grown used to it since she’d come to stay there, liked sharing a bed with her and it filled him with pride that she trusted him enough to sleep beside him every night. She’d been so nervous that first night, but now it was normal.

He liked Sonny’s idea of just leaving the idea of divorce off the table until they wanted to think about it. Eventually, she’d leave him. She accepted things for now, more than Robin had and differently from Carly, but one day, she’d want something else. He’d handle it when it came, but until then, he’d hold on to what they had now. He just hoped Elizabeth would let him.

PCPD: Commissioner’s Office

Taggert folded his arms. “How long did it take you to cave to Alexis Davis?” he demanded.

“Not just me.” Mac said, getting to his feet and going to close the door to the office. “She showed up here yesterday morning with a lawsuit already written, prepared to file if I refused to take the meeting. The last thing this department needs is a public relations nightmare like this—”

“Suspend Capelli, but let me have my investigation—”

“The city’s attorney took one look at the lawsuit, the photos, and that damned dress, and told me that we’re lucky all Alexis Davis asked for was us to back off Elizabeth Morgan.” Mac scowled. “Don’t make that face. That’s her name now. You’re making this personal because you like her—”

“And you don’t?”

“She’s married to him,” Mac said bluntly. “We can speculate all we want why she did it—”

“They were not sleeping together a month ago, damn it! Carly might not be credible, but you know her statement lines up with the facts! You know that’s how it went down!”

“What we know and what we can prove are different,” Mac said, and Taggert just shook his head. “Are there any other witnesses other than Carly that can corroborate Morgan getting shot last month?”

“If we can get him in for a physical—”

“We might get lucky and get a new scar. But no judge is signing a warrant after Capelli destroyed that bedroom. The downstairs was bad enough—but that bedroom, that dress—you’re not getting anything. And Carly is not enough to go into a court room. Alexis Davis would tear her apart.”

Taggert scowled. “So that’s it. Morgan gets to walk away again—”

“You didn’t have anything on him to begin with. A gunshot wound doesn’t tie him to Moreno—”

“The timing—”

“Circumstantial. And you can’t even drag Elizabeth in and subpoena her—”

“Because he married the best witness against him!” Taggert exploded. “Why am I the only one who sees it?”

“Prove it. Go ahead. Prove their marriage isn’t real.” Mac lifted a brow when the detective remained silent. “You want to question her again, you go through Alexis. You want to question Jason, you go through Alexis—”

“Conflict of interest—”

“Prove it,” Mac repeated. “You get me evidence that Jason only married Elizabeth to circumvent the legal system, then we can take it to the city attorney. But until then — you can investigate Moreno’s death all you want. But stay away from the Morgans.”

Morgan Penthouse: Kitchen

Elizabeth had just sat at the table with her hot chocolate and a bagel when Jason strode in, stopping short at the doorway. They looked at each other for a long moment, then he cleared his throat. “I thought you had work.”

“I did—I do. Um, the lunch shift.” Was that the only reason he’d come downstairs? She’d been surprised to find him still asleep when she’d woken—he so rarely slept longer than she did. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

Jason opened a cabinet, took down a bag of coffee beans. “I didn’t get in until four.”

She flicked her eyes at the clock over the stove. Four hours ago. “You could have slept longer.”

“I have to take care of something at the warehouse.” He switched on the grinder, the loud sound forestalling further conversation.

The day before, they’d woken up together — her alarm waking him first, actually, and he’d had to nudge her awake. She’d smiled, and stretched lazily—and then they’d spent a few more minutes in bed—

Her cheeks felt hot, and she glanced down at her breakfast. Today was different. He had barely looked at her—and he was such a light sleeper, she realized now it was hard to believe he’d slept through her shower and getting dressed — only to wake up directly after her and take a shower of his own.

Which meant he’d laid in bed, pretending to be asleep and hoping he’d miss her entirely.

Doubt swirled in her chest, and everything felt heavy—like it was a chore just to hold up her own head. Did Jason—did he regret how hastily they’d gotten married? Now that he knew it didn’t need to last even a year. What if they’d found another way to stop Carly —

Maybe Sonny giving him an out made Jason realize he didn’t want to be married, or worse—

Elizabeth pushed her plate aside, picked up her hot chocolate. “Um, I get done work around eight,” she told him. He glanced over to her, then back at the coffee pot. “I was—maybe we could—”

“It’s supposed to rain,” he cut in, and she closed his mouth. “And I’ll probably be at the warehouse most of the day. I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“Right.” She forced herself to take a sip. He was pulling back, pushing her away — either way, the dynamic had shifted. She didn’t know how to fix it. What if she was just making this all up in her head—

“Hey.”

Elizabeth blinked, cleared her throat, and found Jason at the table. He pulled out a chair and sat down. “Hey,” she said almost weakly.

“I was out of the picture for almost a month,” Jason reminded her, his eyes soft — and she relaxed. “Sonny held up a couple of—” He paused. “Shipments,” he finally said, and she nodded. “He didn’t reschedule until he knew I was back at work. The Christmas party, Moreno, and then…it just means I’m going to be busy for a few nights. Tonight definitely.”

“Okay.”

“But you have Francis to take you anywhere you want to go.” Jason went back to the counter, finished making his coffee, and she felt the withdrawal like a sharp, cold snap. “And I left the bank stuff on the desk—”

“I don’t want your money,” Elizabeth muttered.  Especially now. It felt…more like a transaction than it had before. Hadn’t they just been looking at wedding photos? How had it gone so badly?

“I know. And I know you won’t use it. But I’d feel better if you had at least one of the debit cards—”

“One of?” Elizabeth scowled. “We agreed that you’d set up one account—”

“One that’s just yours, yeah. But I’ve got others. You’re on them now. And there’s a credit card. Maybe two. Alexis thought you might—” Jason glanced over at her. “In case there’s an emergency. She left some forms for you to sign. I didn’t get a chance to tell you yesterday.”

“Forms?”

“Uh—” Jason came over to the table with his coffee. “Forms for a name change,” he said finally. “Social security, DMV—”

Name change. It hadn’t seemed like a big deal a few days earlier, but now— “Do you think I should still do that? Change my last name?”

Jason hesitated. “You don’t have to. I mean—” He met her eyes briefly, then as he’d done before, looked away. Focused on his coffee. “It’s your name. It doesn’t matter to me.”

She knew that was true. She knew that he probably wouldn’t care even if he’d gotten down on one knee and promised her forever. But somehow, hearing it today, it felt different. As if none of this mattered at all.

Why go through all the paperwork if the time limit was gone? They could have a fight in three weeks and break up. No reason to stick now.

“I’ll look at the forms,” she said finally. “And talk to Alexis. See what she thinks.”

“Okay.”

“I should—I need to do some more work upstairs.” Elizabeth picked up her hot chocolate. “Um, let me know if you go anywhere, I guess. If you can.” She flashed a quick smile, then headed for the door, tossing her barely touched bagel in the trash on the way.

“Yeah. I will.”

She hurried out of the kitchen, irritated with herself for not pushing the conversation further, and sick with knowing that she’d only backed off because she’d been afraid of the answers.

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

“Everything go okay last night?” Sonny wanted to know when Jason came by later that day. Jason shoved his hands in his pockets, trying not to glower at his partner. It wasn’t Sonny’s fault that Jason had somehow killed his own marriage, but damned if Jason didn’t want to punch him all the same.

“Yeah, nothing that didn’t get resolved. Last round of shipments are tonight, aren’t they? And then nothing until next week?”

“That’s the plan.” Sonny sipped his coffee. “You got something else to do this weekend?”

Not that it mattered now, Jason thought darkly. He’d thought about checking Elizabeth’s work schedule and seeing if she’d go away for a night or two. Not to pressure her anything, but well, it was what people did, wasn’t it? When they got married?

But that had been before. Now she didn’t even want to change her name, even though she’d asked Alexis for the damn forms in the first place—

“No. Just wanted to know.”

Sonny hesitated. “Everything okay?”

“Yes.”

“Doesn’t sound like it—”

“It’s none of your business either,” Jason cut in, sharply, and Sonny exhaled. Set his coffee down. “So just stay out of it.”

“If this is about yesterday, what I said—I didn’t tell you to get divorced tomorrow. I just thought—you should check with Alexis first—”

Jason scowled. “Wait. I thought you said that she—”

“No. She didn’t. She was meeting with the PCPD yesterday, but it won’t change anything. The cops still won’t be able to touch Elizabeth after that search.” Sonny got to his feet. “Before, it was spousal privilege protecting Elizabeth. Now it’s Capelli’s impulse control and the witness intimidation.”

“Why did you say anything then?” he demanded.

Sonny rubbed his chin. “Uh, I have to say I’m a little baffled why you’re angry with me. All I did was tell you—”

“That Elizabeth doesn’t need to be married to me,” Jason interrupted.

“No, that’s not what I said. I said you might not need a year. No one said anything about Elizabeth not—” Sonny stopped. “Did you talk to Elizabeth about this? Does she want a divorce? Or annulment?”

“No.” Jason raked a hand through his hair. “Not yet.”

“No, you didn’t talk to her—”

“She didn’t ask for one yet,” Jason said, his teeth clenched. “But now she’s talking about not changing her name—”

“Ah.” Sonny nodded, and Jason wanted to deck him — why did he have to look so smug? What did he have to be smug about? “That explains it.”

“Explains what?”

“You told Elizabeth you didn’t have to be married a year.” He tipped his head. “Why did you tell her anything at all if you wanted to stay married?”

“What?”

“You’re ticked at me because I told you the time limit had changed. I’m not the one who turned around and told her,” Sonny pointed out. “So I’m asking you why would you open your mouth and give her an out if you’re happy with the way things are?”

Jason grimaced, looked away. “That’s not the point.”

“No, I think it’s exactly the point. You could be pissed at me if I’d told Elizabeth, because that wouldn’t be my business. But I didn’t do that. So you told her and she didn’t immediately leap into your arms and declare she wasn’t going anywhere, and now somehow I’m the bad guy.”

“That’s—” Not what he’d wanted Elizabeth to do, not exactly. Frustrated, Jason folded his arms. But maybe he’d wanted some indication that Elizabeth was okay with things staying the way they were. “You’re not understanding the problem—”

“I’m understanding clearly. You’re the one who doesn’t understand—”

Jason tensed. “I’m not stupid.”

Sonny’s brow creased in confusion. “I didn’t say you were—”

“Then what the hell do you mean?”

Sonny hesitated. “Sometimes when you’re in the middle of the situation, when it’s happening to you, it’s hard to see it from an outside perspective. Elizabeth is probably having the same doubts you are.”

Jason didn’t know what that meant, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to admit that to Sonny. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew how to solve his own problems, and he didn’t need Sonny to explain women to him.

“You don’t know Elizabeth—”

“Not as well as you do, no. But I’m just asking you to think about it from her perspective. She got married three days ago and now her husband tells her they don’t have to stay married that long. Maybe she’s wondering why he’s bringing it up if he’s happy with how things are.”

Jason clenched his jaw. “I brought it up because you told me yesterday. And she deserved to know—”

“—in case she wanted an out,” Sonny said. “Which is great. Except she already had an out, Jason. You’re the one that told me getting married was her idea. She convinced you.” He lifted his brows. “Did you happen to mention that you wanted to stay married?”

“I—” Jason closed his mouth. “I’m going to the warehouse.” He yanked the penthouse door open and left before Sonny could say anything else.

He didn’t need Sonny to fix his problems. He could do it himself. Even if—Jason winced as he punched the button at the elevator.

Even if Sonny was probably right, which only made Jason’s mood worse.

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Elizabeth paced the length of the room, trying to determine if she’d lost her mind. She’d had a thought halfway through her shift at Kelly’s, and had begged Tammy to let her go early. Tammy had agreed, dropping another hint about Elizabeth quitting her job.

There was a knock on the door, and then Francis opened it. “Ms. Davis is here.”

Thank God. Elizabeth turned as Alexis entered and set her briefcase on the desk. When the door closed, Elizabeth didn’t waste any time. “You met with the PCPD yesterday, right?”

“Yes. I would have thought Sonny or Jason would have told you—” Alexis saw the forms on the desk, still unsigned. “You didn’t do the paperwork? I thought I was that was why you’d asked me to come over. To pick it up.”

“That’s—that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Elizabeth bit her lip. “Sonny told Jason yesterday that he didn’t think we’d need to stay married for a year anymore. Jason told me that, and I didn’t ask about the PCPD—does that mean—”

“I’m not sure what Sonny meant by that. The agreement I made with the PCPD was that they can’t question either of you without me present. I don’t have the power to get them to drop the investigation.” Alexis tilted her head. “They’re not going to approach you, for at least a year. They have to come through me. Otherwise, we file the harassment suit. But the investigation—it doesn’t go away.”

“So we still need the year.”

“I don’t—” Alexis paused. “Are you asking me if you get divorced earlier? Is something wrong? What happened—”

“N-Nothing. I just—” Elizabeth bit her lip. “Does Jason know that? What you just told me? That they still need to—”

“Sonny does. I got the impression from Mac that he wouldn’t mind breaking spousal privilege. The search warrant fiasco makes it hard for him to come at you,” Alexis continued, “but he can’t subpoena you right now. If they could prove your marriage wasn’t real or that you entered it solely to circumvent the law—that’s different. I never mentioned anything to Sonny about the time you have to stay married. And I wasn’t worried about Mac proving the marriage false.”

“You weren’t?” Elizabeth frowned. “Why? It is—I mean, that’s why—”

“Is that the only reason you married Jason?” Alexis asked, and Elizabeth flushed. “You see? They can’t prove that. You and Jason have a romantic connection that precedes the ceremony. You’d look like that if they asked you the question, and no judge would invalidate the privilege. It’s not like you were strangers.” She cleared her throat. “Elizabeth, did something happen? Because you and Jason seemed to be…well, I don’t know, on the same team when I spoke to you the other night. Have you—did you argue with him?”

“No. Nothing like that. It’s just—” She shook her head. “He told me what Sonny said, and he said we could just be married until we didn’t want to be anymore, and so I thought—”

“Maybe he was bringing it up because he didn’t want to be,” Alexis finished gently, and Elizabeth nodded, almost miserably. “Ah. Well, that’s not something I can really help you with.”

“I guess not.” Elizabeth sank onto the sofa. “I thought I’d be relieved if you told me we still need to stay married for a year. I expected it.”

“But now you’ve got the doubts.”

“Some. It’s—it’s not that I’d back out,” Elizabeth said quickly. “Because I can’t. I just…I can’t stand wondering if he wants out, too—”

“Speaking as an outsider who doesn’t know either you incredibly well—” Alexis perched on the sofa next to her. “But also as someone who attended your wedding—”

“That wasn’t—it wasn’t real—”

“Until Carly showed up, I think everyone in that room forgot why you started this whole thing,” Alexis said. “I certainly did. Jason didn’t look like a man who was being marched to the altar.”

“I know, but—”

“My track record in this area is—not good,” she said after a short pause. “And I’m sure you know by now that my marriage to Jax was not real.”

“No, it was like me and Jason—”

“I assure you, it was nothing like that,” Alexis said. “Jax and I were just friends. Separate bedrooms. Only kissed him at the ceremony.” She made a face. “Again, I can’t say that I know Jason that well, but I just—I don’t think he’s looking for an out.”

“Then why would he tell me we can get divorced whenever we—” Elizabeth paused. “To give me the out. So I’d know there was a choice.”

“There’s not—”

“No, but he thought there was. And he wanted me to know it.” Elizabeth took a deep breath, then went over to the desk where she’d half filled out the forms the day before. She picked up a pen, and scrawled her name at the bottom.

Then she looked at the bank cards sitting next to the form. Two debit cards for Elizabeth Morgan, and one credit card in that name. She picked them up and slid them in her back pocket. She’d never use them, but Jason would feel better knowing she had the option.

She straightened the papers, then held them out for Alexis. “How soon can you file these?”

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