Returning home I find myself
Wishing I was already gone
But how long does it take to find me
Well I’m waiting for someone
I think I’m drowning
Can someone lend a hand?
Can someone save me?
Cause I don’t think I can
– Drowning, Saving Abel
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Harborview Towers: Elevator
There were few silver linings to the last few days, and Jason knew it would be weeks, if not longer, before they could be sure the crisis had passed. Too many unknown pieces — Kate’s shooter and who he’d been working for, Elizabeth’s recovery, Sonny remaining in control, and whether Andrei Karpov had really given up and moved on—
But right now, as the elevator climbed towards the fifteenth floor, most of that felt very far away. He held Jake in his arms, and his son was coming home. Or what would be home until it was safe to go back to the house on Lexington Avenue.
He wouldn’t have to spend another night away from Jake, and the one-year-old would never remember a time when Jason hadn’t been his father. The toddler with his curious blue eyes and sunny blonde hair was looking around the silver walls of the elevator, taking in the rows of buttons, the lights above the doors with the floor numbers — then looking over at his great-grandmother.
They’d already dropped Cameron off at school that morning, and Jason was planning to get Audrey and Jake settled in the penthouse before going back to the parking garage for their bags. But he very much wanted to show Audrey how important it was to have the boys here, and for her help with Elizabeth—
Though Audrey Hardy had been supportive the day before, and she was willing to move in temporarily, he knew she was still nervous. She would be confronted with the realities of what Jason lived with in ways that weren’t possible if she’d remained in her home on Maple Avenue where she’d be able to pretend he really was a coffee importer.
But at the Towers, there were guards with visible holsters. He’d asked Audrey to use a driver while she was at the penthouse, with a guard to take her to and from the hospital. He’d said it was only temporary for a few weeks, but he didn’t know how to explain to her that the reason Carly could pick up the boys without a driver was that both her cars were bullet proof. He hoped Elizabeth would help him navigate that request for Audrey at a later time.
But right now, none of that mattered because Jake was in his arms. In a few days, Elizabeth would come home, and Jason would be able to breathe with the people that mattered most in one place.
The elevator opened, and Jason stepped out, walking just slightly ahead of Audrey so that he turned towards his penthouse first, stopping short when he saw Sonny lurking outside. He grimaced, tightened his hold on Jake.
Sonny glanced up, exhaling slowly as he saw Audrey behind him. “Whatever you’re doing has to wait,” he said to Jason. “We have a problem.” Jason couldn’t see Elizabeth’s grandmother but couldn’t imagine she was thrilled to see Sonny.
Jason tensed, shook his head. “You’re the one who will have to wait, Sonny. Go across the hall to your old place. I’ll be over as soon as I get Jake and Mrs. Hardy settled—”
“This is an emergency—”
“Then go deal with it,” Jason said flatly. “Or give me ten minutes and I’ll be over. Your choice.” He slid his key into the lock, twisted it and pushed open his door. He stepped aside to let Audrey through first, then set Jake on his feet. “Give me a minute,” he told her, then closed the door and turned back to Sonny. He kept his voice low. “This is my home. We talked about this last night. I told you I was bringing the boys here and that it would be off limits. If you need me, you call me first.”
“You pawned me off to Cody when I did that—”
“You sent everyone to me when your family needed you,” Jason said shortly, and Sonny closed his mouth. “You wanted to be out, Sonny. This is what it means to be out. Now, are you going across the hall or not?”
“I’ll go,” Sonny said tightly, his face flushed. “And we’re going to settle this.” He stalked around the corner, and a few moments later Jason heard the door slam. He sighed, then went inside where he found Audrey setting her purse on the coffee table.
“I’m sorry about that—”
“I imagine Mr. Corinthos has a great deal on his mind,” Audrey said. “It must be difficult with what’s happened to his fiancée. To not have answers.”
“Sonny doesn’t like not having answers. There are four bedrooms upstairs. Spinelli has one, and there’s a guest room with its own bathroom. I thought you’d want to use that for some privacy.”
“Oh, that’s not necessary—”
“You do not want to share a bathroom with Spinelli,” Jason said dryly, and at this, Audrey smiled. “One of the bedrooms has already been set up with the boys. I’ll have some of the guards bring up the bags from the car, and we can make more trips if you need to.” He went towards the back of the penthouse. “The kitchen is back there. There’s another bathroom, a laundry room, and a room that used to be a maid’s room. I don’t use it for anything other than storage.” He came back into the living room. “I had the place looked over for child-proofing—”
“I’m sure you did everything you needed to do. You should see to Mr. Corinthos.”
Jason hesitated, shoved his hands in his pockets. Watched Jake discover the bin of toys Spinelli set up in the corner by the entertainment center. He didn’t want to go across the hall. There was nothing he could offer that Jason didn’t already have access to. There were no rumors on the street about Kate’s shooting, and the PCPD files were thin. The trail had been cold almost from the moment the shot had been fired.
But he didn’t want Sonny to get impatient and come back, and he needed to assert the boundaries. It was important to start all of this off on the right foot — Audrey Hardy had to see that Jason was taking this seriously. That his home was a safe place for the boys, and that they came first. Because if she believed it—
Well, maybe Elizabeth would, too.
“All right. I’ll go. Make yourself at home. I mean that,” Jason added. He went over to the desk, tapped a manila envelope. “Keys to the penthouse, access card for the parking garage and the elevator. You can’t get into either without them. Wally on the front desk holds all visitors and calls up, unless they’re on a pre-approved list. I left the list here. You can add anyone you want. Oh. And the driver—just call down to the front desk about ten minutes before you want to go, and one will be waiting.”
“Thank you. I mean that. This has been…” Audrey paused, considered her words. “It’s not how I expected the last few days to unfold, I’ll be frank, but I appreciate what you’ve done to make it easier. I’ll worry less about Elizabeth trying to do too much if she has support with the boys. And if I’m here to look after her. Between the two of us, we ought to be able to make her rest.”
“I’ll worry less, too. Elizabeth can be pretty stubborn.” Jason smiled when Audrey snorted. “But you know that better than I do.”
“I certainly do.”
He glanced towards the door. “I’ll go handle what I need to do.”
General Hospital: Elizabeth’s Room
Patrick tapped lightly on the open door, his brow furrowing when he saw Elizabeth hold up a hand, weakly gesturing for him to come in. “Hey, I wanted to check on you before I started my rounds. How are you feeling this morning?”
“Tired…” She cleared her throat. “Some pain, actually. Maybe from the new sutures?”
“Maybe.” Patrick flipped through her chart. “The nurse came in with the pain meds, didn’t they?”
“Mmm…” Elizabeth licked her lips. “Yeah. Last night. Before they moved me from the ICU down here, and then after dinner again.” She shifted slightly, her mouth tight. But she forced a smile. “Jason brought the boys.”
“Oh, yeah, it must have been good to see them.” Patrick leaned down, flashed a light in her eyes. She winced. “Sorry.”
“My head really hurts. Maybe I did too much again. But it—it was really good—” She licked her lips again, then her eyes fluttered.
“Hey. Hey. Can you look at me?” Patrick frowned.
“I’m…looking…it just—my…stitches…they feel a little…” She wiggled her fingers. “Weird. That’s where the pain is.”
Patrick looked at the chart again. Her third dose of fentanyl had been just an hour ago. She shouldn’t feel any pain at all.
He looked up at Elizabeth. “Let me check the incision, okay? Do you mind?”
Elizabeth shook her head, and Patrick bent down to draw up her hospital gown, his blood running cold when he saw her abdomen. It was slightly swollen—something visible even without removing the bandage.
“What is it?” Elizabeth asked, her voice low, almost slurring. He glanced up, and her eyes were glazed over. “Patrick…”
“It’s…it’s fine. I, uh, need you to trust me, okay?” He drew back down her gown. “We need to—” And then she closed her eyes, her head lolled to one side—
Beside her, the machine monitoring her vitals began to beep wildly, then the line measuring her heartbeat flattened.
Patrick slapped a button on the side of the machine, triggering an alert to the nurse’s station. A moment later, there was an announcement over the intercom system.
“Code blue, Room 314. Code blue, Room 314.”
Penthouse Four: Living Room
“I’m getting tired of you throwing your weight around every time I try to get you to do your damn job!”
Jason sighed, closed the door behind him, then leaned against it, absorbing Sonny’s furious opening volley. He hadn’t been in this penthouse in a few years, not since Sonny had moved out of it. It was cleaned regularly and kept ready in case of emergencies, and Jason had already decided that it would be where business was handled.
There would be no sending his family upstairs, refusing them free use of their own home — he would try like hell to keep every piece of that life from touching them.
But it would never work if Sonny didn’t let him handle the business. If Sonny didn’t respect Jason and the position he’d wanted Jason to take on.
“I am doing my job,” Jason said slowly.
“If you were doing your job, then how come Karpov found the damn shooter before you did?” Sonny demanded. Out of sheer habit, he stalked towards the end of the room where the minibar sat empty. No decanter of bourbon to medicate his anger.
Jason stilled. “Karpov?”
“Oh, yeah, I see that got your attention—” Sonny whirled back to face him. “He showed up at my place last night.”
“Why didn’t you—” Jason pressed his lips together, looked down to take a deep breath, then looked up. “You didn’t tell Cody that when you called—” And Max hadn’t passed it along either, something he filed away for later.
“Because I don’t report to your underlings! I don’t report to anyone!” Sonny hurled back. “You take orders from me—”
“Not anymore,” Jason said quietly, and Sonny’s face was florid. “And if you don’t like it, I’m sorry. I don’t know how to fix that. Do you want to talk to me about Karpov now or shout at me more? Because I have to go to the hospital—”
“Oh, shut the hell up about the hospital!” Sonny sliced his hand through the air. “You got my sympathy that first day when you didn’t know if Elizabeth would live or die, all right? But it’s been days and she’s coming home, isn’t she? You get to see her, don’t you?”
Jason sighed, rubbed his temple. “Yeah. Okay—”
“No, you don’t get it. What’s it going to take for you to understand—maybe you need to see the woman you love walking towards you, then crumple to the ground, blood soaking her wedding dress—Is that what it is? You don’t think Kate matters enough to take seriously?”
“I am taking Kate seriously. I hate that this happened to her. And if you have a lead on her shooter, I want to know it.” Jason kept his tone even, though the image Sonny had painted wasn’t a pretty one, and it wasn’t one he wanted to linger.
“I told you. Karpov found the shooter,” Sonny bit out. “He brought him to the house last night. The bastard told me who hired him — Johnny Zacchara. Said the guy was young and talked about having the perfect cover. After all, didn’t you tell me it wasn’t him because of what happened to Lulu?”
Jason opened his mouth, then closed it, bewildered at this turn of events. There was nothing — outside this story— that connected Johnny with any of this. The only violence Johnny had ever been involved in had been connected to Anthony. In Anthony’s mad desire to control his son, he’d found himself on Spoon Island during the Black and White Ball. He’d hurt so many people —
He’d made Elizabeth stand on the edge of the parapet — her heels against the slick stone had nearly paralyzed him —
But all of that had been about Anthony. Johnny had never done anything, and Jason was supposed to think the younger man’s first foray into violence had been to order a hit on Kate Howard, to use Lulu and her fragile mental state as a cover for his actions? It didn’t fit with anything else Jason knew—but how did he get Sonny back on his side?
“I understand why you want to believe this,” Jason said, with some hesitation. “But Karpov found this guy when no one else could. How? Who did he talk to? Who was he?”
“I don’t know,” Sonny said derisively. “Johnny hired a Russian. Wanted to frame Karpov probably. What else do you need?”
“Something that isn’t self-serving,” Jason said. “How would Johnny even know to frame Karpov? Come on, Sonny. Think about this! Karpov wanted you to join him, didn’t he? Now he’s handing you what you want without a fight? He’s given you the shooter and the guy who hired him? Something no one else could find—”
“Not no one else. You couldn’t find them. You were too distracted. You didn’t give a damn—”
“I can’t find what’s not there,” Jason retorted. “But it’s awfully convenient Karpov could. What’s the guy’s name? Maybe we can find something that links them—”
“I never got it,” Sonny muttered. “There’s no—” He hesitated. “There’s no way to ask. Karpov executed him.”
“Oh, because that makes sense,” Jason muttered, fishing his vibrating phone out of his pocket, not even looking at it before he answered. “Yeah?”
“Jason? Jason? You have to get to the hospital—”
“Epiphany?” Jason turned away from Sonny, his pulse pounding. “Epiphany, what’s wrong?”
“Elizabeth. She coded, and she—Patrick had to rush her into surgery. You need to be here—”
“How the hell could that happen? She was fine!” Jason was already moving towards the door, yanking it open, Sonny on his heels. “They moved her out of the ICU.” He jabbed the elevator button, then swore as he realized his keys were in the other penthouse. And that he’d need to say something to Audrey. “Okay, okay. I’ll be there. I’ll be right there.”
Sonny had followed him out of the penthouse. “Where are you going? Damn it, we’re not done!”
“I don’t have time for this!” Jason snapped. He shoved open his penthouse door. “Take care of it yourself!”
General Hospital: Kate’s Hospital Room
Maxie tapped her fingers nervously against her clipboard and slid a careful glance at Olivia. They’d had an uneasy truce since her blow up the day before, but there was no telling if the crazy cousin would change her mind and throw Maxie out. That couldn’t happen. Not when Kate had finally regained consciousness.
“Sonny…” Kate licked her chapped lips, and Maxie immediately started to reach for the lip balm in her purse. “Where’s Sonny?”
“Not here,” Olivia snapped. She glared at Maxie as if to keep quiet about the daily battles Sonny had fought trying to get access to the room. Maxie widened her eyes to express her innocence. “Maxie, go find a doctor. Get us some water or something.”
Maxie pursed her lips. “Fine. But here’s something for her lips.” She held out the little metal tin and Olivia reluctantly took it. She looked at Kate, her guru. “I’m really glad you’re awake. I missed you.”
“I missed…you, too…I think.” Kate attempted a smile, and it was almost spooky, so Maxie hurried out of the room to find someone. It didn’t seem right for Olivia to be lying to Kate, she thought, dashing down different hallways, passing other ICU rooms with their clear walls.
How annoying it was to be in the ICU, she thought. Open to the world and on display like circus animals or a freak show. She knew it was for monitoring reasons, but who would actually want that? Maxie shuddered and looped around to the next hallway, stopping at the desk.
“Hey. You. Kate Howard is awake. I need a doctor.”
The nurse on duty tipped her glasses down. “Excuse me?”
“A doctor. Someone. I don’t know. Kate’s awake. And we need to oust the Bensonhurst Mussolini.” Maxie planted one hand at her hip and tapped the desk with the other. “Let’s go. Chop chop.”
The nurse rolled her eyes but reached for her phone. Maxie fished her phone from her purse and texted Spinelli. Now that Kate was awake, Maxie wanted to be able to tell Sonny immediately.
And there was nothing Olivia could do to stop her now, she thought brightly. The reign of terror was nearly over.
General Hospital: Surgery
“You keep hovering, Drake, and I’m gonna punch you,” Leo Julian bit out. He peered at Patrick over the edge of his mask.
“You keep getting distracted, and you won’t have to throw the first punch,” Patrick shot back. “Do your damn job—”
“Boys, why don’t you both stop bitching at each other and worry about the patient on the table,” Epiphany cut in sharply, and both men fell silent. For a few moments, there wasn’t much to be heard beyond the sound of medical instruments being replaced, the beeps of the monitors—
Leo muttered a curse. “Simpson, can you keep up with the suction or not?”
Patrick stepped closer, swallowing hard as he saw the bloody towels being discarded. His only consolation was the steady beat of the monitors — Elizabeth’s vitals were stable for now, though they’d crashed for a second time at the beginning of surgery—
And they still didn’t know the cause of the bleeding. The liver laceration hadn’t reopened—those stitches were still holding strong but clearly, they’d missed something in the first surgery. Had she been slowly bleeding out all this time?
“Bladder and bowels are clear as the source,” Leo reported. “But—” He exhaled slowly. “This doesn’t make sense.”
“What is it?” Patrick’s pulse skittered. “What’s wrong?”
“The kidney—there’s…there’s an injury, and—let me just—” He tossed aside something, and reached for a different instrument. “I found it. Let’s repair it, close up, get her into recovery, and then we can talk about what the hell is going on.”
General Hospital: Nurse’s Station
Maxie tapped her foot nervously, watching from a distance as doctors went in and out of Kate’s room. She nibbled on one of her nails, and Nadine gently reached forward, touched her hand.
“You’ll hate yourself later for jagged nails.”
“Oh. Oh—damn it—I swear all of this has me so messed up. It’s been days, days! And I thought I’d be happy when Kate woke up and I’d be able to get rid of the dictator, but—” Maxie pressed her lips together. “Now the doctors are saying they’re running more tests. What if she can’t walk again? And, oh my God, how am I going to tell her about Lulu?”
“You’re going to take it one minute at a time,” Nadine said. “Do you want me to hang around a little longer?”
“No. No. Yes. I don’t know.” Maxie dragged a hand through hair, then narrowed her eyes at something behind Nadine. “What are you doing here?”
“Working,” Matt said shortly, stepping up into the station, looking through the stack of charts. He looked to Nadine. “Do you know who took over for you in post-op?”
“I think maybe Regina. Or Leyla. Why?”
“Because I got stuck with Leo and Patrick’s rounds, and I need someone to catch me up—” Matt continued to flip through the charts. “Elizabeth got pulled into emergency surgery—”
“Wait—what—” Nadine stopped him, placed a hand over the chart. “What do you mean? She got moved out of the ICU last night! She’d been stable for days!”
“That explains why Spinelli is late,” Maxie muttered.
“I don’t know. I didn’t get the newsletter,” Matt retorted. “All I know is I got my workload doubled—”
“Oh, poor baby,” Maxie said in a mocking tone.
“You’ll get used to it,” Nadine said, and the doctor just rolled his eyes, grabbed a stack of chart and disappeared. “It’s awful about Elizabeth. I hope she’s okay. This is the last thing any of us needs.”
“Seriously. I need Spinelli, and he’ll just be worrying about Jason with this.” Maxie made a face. “How much longer are they going to be in there? I need to tell them to hurry up because if Sonny gets here and he still can’t see Kate, there’s going to be hell to pay.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to stick around a little longer?” Nadine asked. “I was just going to get lunch. We can go to the cafeteria—”
“No, no.” Maxie sighed. “No. It’s fine. I’m an adult. I don’t need anyone to hold my hand. Thanks anyway.” She headed back down the hallway, probably to lurk outside Kate’s room to wait for a single moment alone with her boss.
Nadine just shrugged, then headed to the elevator. When the doors opened, she blinked in surprise. “Johnny? What are you doing here?”
Johnny placed a hand on the doors to keep them closed. “Looking for you actually.”
“Oh. Well, I’m on my way to Kelly’s for lunch, so—” She stepped inside the car, pressed the button for the lobby. “You can walk me to my car.”
“I’ll do you one better. I’ll pay for lunch in exchange for some advice and drive you back afterwards.”
“Sold.”
General Hospital: Surgery Floor
Every action Jason had to take between getting the phone call and arriving on the surgical floor felt like three times as long as reality. Stammering out an update to Audrey, leaving her stricken and worrying, the drive to the hospital, parking—
The elevator ride.
Finally—finally—the doors slid open, and he rushed out towards the desk, relieved when he saw Robin talking with his mother. Monica rose to her feet as Robin remained seated, her cheeks tearstained.
He swallowed hard. “What—is she—”
“In surgery.” Monica touched his arm, her eyes kind.
“Leo and Patrick are in with her. They’re the best.” Robin brushed her cheeks, cleared her throat. “Sorry, I was just—um, Leo. that’s Dr. Julian. They think it’s more internal bleeding.”
“How could there still be bleeding?” Jason demanded. “They told me she was fine—they moved her out of the ICU—” He’d gone home—he’d left her—
“They don’t know, Jason,” Monica said, guiding him to the chair. “It can happen sometimes with a small injury. You deal with the obvious one and you miss the small one. That’s why we monitor. It’s why we don’t release patients until we’re sure—”
“But it’s been days! Internal bleeding isn’t supposed to take almost a week—”
“We’ll have more answers when they’re out of surgery. Because you’re right. Internal bleeding is supposed to be immediate. So whatever this injury is, it wasn’t enough to cause concern until now.”
“Can I see her? I need to—I need to call Audrey. I have to—” Jason dipped his head, everything swirling. It was too much. He didn’t know how to juggle everything at once. Sonny was blaming the Zaccharas again, Karpov was back, the boys were at the penthouse which meant they were safer, but he’d also put a larger target on them—
And Elizabeth was back in surgery. Robin had said she’d coded, and Jason knew what that meant. Her heart had stopped, and she’d nearly died.
“Jason?” Monica touched his hand. “I’ll call Audrey. And I’ll go sit with her and the boys—”
“I just…I took them to my place. I mean, no. No. Cam’s at school. Jake and Audrey are the penthouse.” He dragged his hands through his hair.
“Oh. Oh, well—” Monica pressed her lips together, realizing she must have missed something, and for a brief moment Jason felt the rush of guilt. There was always someone else he hadn’t told, someone else who didn’t know. “I can go there, can’t I?”
“Yeah. You’re on the list…” He met her eyes. “It’s not just…it’s not because of Elizabeth that they’re there. I mean, it’s not just—” He winced. “Yes, it’s because of her. But it’s…Jake’s my son.”
“Your—” Her eyes filled, and she pressed two fingers to her lips as she absorbed it. “Oh. Oh. And now you’ve…you’ve brought him home?”
“Yes. Audrey knows. We told her the other day,” Jason added so his mother didn’t think her old friend had known so much longer. “I just—” He looked back at Robin. “How much longer?”
“Soon, I hope. She’ll be back in the ICU, okay? And then you can be with her.” Robin laced her fingers through his. “It’ll be okay. You know I wouldn’t tell you that if I didn’t believe it. I’ll stay with you until my appointment.”
“Okay.” Jason exhaled slowly, looked straight ahead at the bland walls of the waiting area. All this time they’d wasted, he thought. Weeks and months and years. What if Robin was wrong? What if Elizabeth didn’t recover? What if this was how it ended after all they’d been through?
If he had the chance, he thought, if he could just get Elizabeth through this, he made a promise to himself that he’d never waste another moment.
General Hospital: Lobby
Sonny slapped his hand against the counter. “What the hell do you mean I can’t go upstairs?” he demanded.
The security guard behind the desk offered a bland stare. “Visitors to the ICU have been limited, and you are not on the approved list for Ms. Howard—”
That damn woman knew how to hold a grudge better than any woman Sonny had ever met. He’d gone behind her back with her cousin a lifetime ago, and Olivia was going to hold it against him forever—he knew Kate wasn’t behind this. He knew she’d want to see him—
“Did Miss Howard say that?” Sonny demanded.
“I have my orders, sir. You can leave the premises or—”
“Elizabeth.” Sonny banged the counter again. “Elizabeth Webber. There was some emergency with her. Where is she?”
The security guard sighed, then nodded to the receptionist who tapped a few keys. “Ms. Webber isn’t in a room at the moment, so you’ll have to wait—”
“This is some goddamn bullshit—” Sonny began, but then he saw something out of the corner of his eyes. The elevators opened and a blonde he vaguely recognized stepped out—and behind her Johnny Zacchara.
She turned to say something to him, and he smiled, then they walked towards the front doors located near the bank of elevators.
Everyone else might have written Johnny Zacchara off because his precious girlfriend had been present and had a mental breakdown, but the bastard didn’t look so broken up about any of it, Sonny thought darkly. So maybe he should follow the asshole and figure out what the hell was going on.
Without another word, he stalked away from the security desk and headed for the doors.
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