We say, yeah, with fists flying up in the air
Like we’re holding onto something that’s invisible there
‘Cause we’re living at the mercy of the pain and fear
Until we dead it, forget it, let it all disappear
Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It’s out of my control
– Waiting for the End, Linkin Park

---

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

General Hospital: Emergency Room

Jason looked back at Leo Julian. “What happens next?” he asked, almost mechanically. The hospital was under attack and Elizabeth was in danger every moment she was here. Sonny had been shot. Johnny Zacchara was demanding Jason talk to him. Karpov was out there, stirring up trouble and unrest.

It didn’t seem to stop, and he didn’t know what to do with all of it or understand how it was connected because none of that even included the damned shooting at the church that had started it all.

“We’ve stabilized Mr. Corinthos for now,” Leo said, looking down at the chart. “And we’re getting an OR prepped. We need to see…” He looked at Jason. “The bullet wound to the chest didn’t hit anything vital, so we removed it in the trauma room. We’ll do a more exploratory look in the operating room to be sure there’s no internal bleeding. The real problem is the head wound. The bullet looks like it’s in the right occipital lobe, but it’s dangerously close to the cerebellum. And we don’t know what damage was done—we can’t do detailed imaging until we get it out.”

He understood the words, but it was as if they went right through him. Sonny had been shot in the head. The bullet was in his brain.

It was a nightmare that wouldn’t end, and he was right back where he’d been six months earlier, standing in this emergency room, listening as a doctor explained Michael’s condition.

“Who—” Jason stopped. Tried again. “Who’s doing the surgery?”

“I’ll be doing the exploratory on the chest, and Dr. Drake is scrubbing in on the head.” Leo hesitated. “He has that list you need for Elizabeth, so you don’t—”

“It’s…” He rubbed his mouth. “Yeah, no, that’s, um, fine. We’re…someone is sitting with her. Always. And no one—” The words were running through his brain, kept skittering and stopping. “Do I need to sign something?”

Leo handed Jason the form, and he scrawled his signature across the bottom. Jason handed it back. “Is—is he going to be…I mean, can you say—”

The doctor hesitated. “I don’t know,” Leo said finally. “Patrick’s an excellent neurosurgeon, you know that. But it’s a tricky surgery, and we won’t know until we get in there. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. Okay. Thank you.”

Leo left, and Jason went to find Carly, sitting blankly in the chair. He sat next to her, staring down at the floor.

“Another shot to the head, Jason,” Carly said, her voice dull, empty. She squeezed eyes shut, rested her elbows on her knees, leaning forward. “It’s happening again, and I’m getting all these flashes back to all that horribleness, and Patrick telling me my baby will never wake up. I go to visit him, Jason, and he just lays there, and everything that made him ours is gone—”

Jason touched her shoulder, and Carly shuddered. “How—how could Sonny—how could this be happening? I know he was upset about Kate. I know he was frustrated with you for being too focused on Elizabeth, but there were no guards. It’s exactly—” Her voice broke. “It’s exactly what he did six months ago. He took himself out into the world without any protection when he knew there was a chance someone wanted to hurt him, and now he’s lying in the hospital—and there’s a bullet in his goddamn head—”

She broke off, shook her head. “I’m so tired, Jason. And I can’t even begin to think what you’re dealing with. Elizabeth almost died today. And now this—” When Jason said nothing, Carly looked at him. “Jason?”

“I don’t know what I’m feeling,” Jason said carefully, because it was a true statement, but it also didn’t feel entirely honest. Carly didn’t know what was happening with the hospital or Elizabeth, and he couldn’t drop that on her — not with everything resurfacing with Michael.

And Jason had to consider the timing of the attempt on Elizabeth’s life. Patrick suspected the meds had been swapped last night — right around the time Andrei Karpov had showed up at Sonny’s, claiming he had a lead on Kate’s shooter that led directly to Johnny Zacchara.

And Elizabeth’s crisis had hit just as Sonny was demanding Jason do something about that — maybe Patrick was right and there were other issues at the hospital, but what if this attack had been deliberate to distract Jason from seeing to Sonny?

He had to get Elizabeth out of the hospital. And he needed to deal with Johnny Zacchara.

“I need to take care of things,” Jason told her. She looked at him, bewildered, a bit lost, but he didn’t have time to hold her hand. He didn’t have the space for that. He had to keep moving, to find out what the hell was going on, and how he could make it over. How could he make it all just stop?

She squeezed his hand. “You do what needs to be done. I can handle this. I’ll call my mother and ask her to pick up Morgan and Cameron from school. God. I’ll have to find a way to tell him about all of this.” She wiped her eyes, gathered herself. “I can do this. I have to do this. There’s just no other choice.”

Harborview Towers: Lobby

This was not how her day was supposed to go after she’d worked the overnight shift. Nadine had planned to grab some lunch, go home, and soak in a bubble bath because damn it, she’d earned it.

Instead, she’d been cajoled into offering romantic advice to Johnny Zacchara, then shot at, dragged from the pier, shoved into a car, driven around aimlessly and now—

For almost an hour, they’d been cooling their heels in the corner of the lobby at Harborview Towers, under the suspicious eyes of three security guards at the front desk.

Nadine nibbled at her thumbnail, the other four nails already bitten to the quick. She watched Johnny glare at his phone—it was flashing so she knew there was a call, but it must be on silent. He pressed a button on the side to make it stop.

“Avoiding someone?” she said, hoping it sounded like a tease or a joke, but it came out wobbly, and he looked at her. “The world, right? Same. Not by choice, but well—”

“They know.” Johnny shot another look at the desk, his foot tapping restlessly. “They all know what happened by now, so they know it was me, and they’re looking at me and my family is calling and I don’t know what the hell to do—” He took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone.”

Nadine bit her lip. “Are you sure I can’t just go home, and you go home, and we both pretend it didn’t—yeah, okay, I hear how stupid that sounds,” she muttered when he shot her an incredulous look. “Look, you can’t avoid your family forever. Didn’t you try that last year? I thought you said bad things happen when your family worries. You should tell them you’re all right.”

“I answer that phone, they’ll be able to find me. I’m not doing that until Jason promises to keep you safe.” Johnny shot to his feet, paced around the small seating area, restless.

“What would you be doing if I wasn’t with you today?” Nadine asked. “I mean, listen, maybe you just leave me here—”

“No. You don’t understand what my family can do if they find out about you.” Johnny shook his head. “Not happening.”

“Mr. Zacchara.” One of the security guards approached them, his expression unreadable. “Mr. Morgan has asked us to escort you upstairs. He’s been delayed but will be here as soon as possible.”

“Okay. Okay. Good. Let’s get this done.” Johnny looked at Nadine, held out a hand. “Let’s go.”

“Why do I have a bad feeling about all of this?” she muttered. Because she was involved, and everything she did always ended in catastrophe. That’s why Nikolas had told her it was exhausting to know her, and he hadn’t meant it as a compliment.

Zacchara Estate: Terrace

Claudia could hear her father’s rage-filled tirade even through the closed glass doors. She leaned against the stone railing overlooking the gardens and watched him in the study, screaming at Trevor.

All hell had broken loose about twenty minutes earlier when they’d learned about the shooting. Sonny Corinthos had been sent to the hospital with a bullet in the head, and Johnny wasn’t answering the phone.

Claudia looked down at the device in her hand, her jaw clenched. She pressed redial, lifted the phone to her ear again, listened as it rang. And rang.

And rang.

“Pick up. Pick up the damn phone—”

When the voicemail clicked in, Claudia closed her eyes and turned away from the house. “John, you better have a damn good reason for going off the grid right now. Daddy’s going through the roof, and I don’t know if Trevor can talk him down this time. So if you don’t want him to start razing things to the ground, you’d better call in. Damn it, John. You’d better be okay wherever you are.”

General Hospital: Elizabeth’s Room

Whatever Johnny Zacchara wanted to tell him—and how it involved Nadine Crowell — it would have to wait. Jason wasn’t going anywhere without making sure the security on Elizabeth’s room was rock solid. Audrey was sitting with her now, and she knew that no one but Epiphany or Patrick was allowed in the room to dispense medication.

One thing at a time. That was all he could handle right now. Getting Elizabeth out of this damn hospital was something he could control. Once she was home and safe, Jason could focus on everything else.

The top half of Elizabeth’s bed had been lowered slightly so that she was laying a little flatter. Her face was pale, strained, and Jason grimaced, realizing that the normal post-operative drugs she’d be on hadn’t been administered. Patrick had planned to do it himself, not trusting anyone else, but he’d been called to handle Sonny’s case.

“Jason.” Audrey rose, her expression strained. Elizabeth turned her face slightly so that she was looking in his direction, but every movement was stiff and tense. “We were hoping for an update about Mr. Corinthos.”

“Is Sonny okay?” Elizabeth managed. She bit her lip, then closed her eyes. “Gram, can you…I can’t find my call button.”

“Can you get Epiphany?” Jason asked Audrey. “Patrick’s in surgery. He can’t…”

“Of course.” Audrey touched Elizabeth’s arm, then left quickly.

“Jason. What’s going on? Something’s wrong. Everything hurts—and Sonny…” There were beads of sweat breaking on her upper lip, and he hurried to her side. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s…your grandmother is getting Epiphany—”

“She doesn’t…” Elizabeth swallowed hard. “She doesn’t do post-op. Please.” Her eyes were shadowed and tense. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not.” He sat in the chair, drew it as close to the bed as possible. “I can’t get into it all right now. I can’t. It’s not…there’s something going on. You’re right.” He dipped his head, hating every minute of this. It was her life that had been on the line — that still was — but she was in so much pain, and he didn’t know who was listening. “I promise. As soon as I can. Okay?”

“Okay.” She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then looked at him, her eyes shimmering with tears. Her hand raised in the air, found the side of his face. Her fingers were cool, dry. “Sonny?”

His breath caught, and he closed his eyes. “He’s in surgery,” Jason managed. “It’s not…I don’t know anything yet. I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry. What…can I do?”

He covered her hand with his, pressing it against his cheek for a moment, then kissed her palm. “Rest. Get better. I need you to be okay. The boys need you.”

“The boys.” She closed her eyes again, nodded. “Are they…if Gram is here…oh, God. Carly. Sonny was shot. Is she all right? Are they all right?”

“She’s…I don’t know. Cam is still at school, at least for a little while. Monica is with Jake, and Bobbie is going to pick up both boys. They’re okay. I promise.”

“Okay. Okay.” She grimaced, then bit her lip as her free hand fisted in the hospital blankets. “It really…it really hurts, okay? Why—” Elizabeth forced her eyes open, looked at him. “I’m…a surgical nurse. This isn’t right. Jason.”

He opened his mouth, but mercifully, he saw Audrey and Epiphany hurrying towards them. “It’s coming. Epiphany is here, okay? Let’s take care of this.” Jason stood and went to the door. “It’s bad,” he told the nurse. “Can you—”

“I’m sorry, I got caught up in the ER, I meant to be here—” Epiphany bustled past him, already carrying a syringe in her hand. She reached for Elizabeth’s IV line. “You should be feeling better in just a moment, Elizabeth.”

“But why…” Elizabeth’s words were already fading as the medication took effect. Jason took his first easy breath as he watched her visibly relax, then her eyes closed.

“She’s not an idiot, Morgan. When she wakes up, she’ll have questions,” Epiphany told him.

“As long as you’re here to give her another round of pain meds, she’ll be waking up at home and I can tell her anything she wants to know,” Jason said. He took a deep breath. “But I still have a lot to do before that can be done.”

General Hospital: Operating Suite

Patrick stripped off his gloves and gown, dumped them into the bin, then went to the sink to wash his hands. Next to him, Leo was already drying off.

“What are you going to tell them?”

“The truth.” Patrick looked through the window that looked into the operating room. Sonny had already been removed from the room, rolled to the post-op ward where he’d be monitored. He could dimly see his reflection in the glass.

“Are you…okay to do that? It’s been a pretty rough day.” Leo leaned against the sink, his back to the operating room window. “No one would blame you for passing it off to a nurse—”

“I’d blame me,” Patrick muttered. He shook off the excess water then went to dry his hands. “Six months ago, I told this family their ten-year-old would never open his eyes again. And now, I get to do it again. And that’s after Elizabeth almost died on my watch in my hospital—”

“In her hospital, too,” Leo said gently, and Patrick flashed him an irritated glance. “You took over as chief in July. How much crap have you been cleaning up? Ford let this place rot since the moment he took it over, and we all knew it. Whatever we think might be going on, there’s no doubt it started with him or because of him. And remember, we don’t even know for sure that anything is going on.”

“Leo—”

“We suspect, sure. But the only actual sabotage we can prove today is what happened to Elizabeth, who is very notably tied to Jason Morgan. Let’s take a deep breath, pull the ICU records, look at what we have, and get to the bottom of it. But put that aside right now—”

“I performed the surgery, Leo. I’m going to handle the rest of it. That’s my job. I can do my job.” Patrick jerked the door open and left.

After a moment, Leo followed him and ran into Matt Hunter leaving another operating suite. He stopped short of bumping into the younger man. “Hey—”

“Hey,” Matt said, watching the end of the hallway where Patrick was hitting the button for the elevator. “Dr. Wonderful couldn’t save the day?”

“Not much you can do with a bullet to the brain,” Leo said, making a face. “I don’t envy him the job of telling the family. Especially after April.” When Matt’s brow creased in confusion, Leo added, “I forgot you didn’t start until June. The patient — Sonny Corinthos. His ten-year-old son was shot in the head. Patrick’s case. He ended up in long-term care, basically no chance of waking up.” The beeper at his waist sounded, and he reached for it. “I have to go.”

General Hospital: Surgery Floor Waiting Room

Carly shook her head and pushed herself out of the chair to cross to the window. “I told you, Mac. Sonny and I barely speak right now. I have full custody of Morgan, and Michael…” She pressed her lips together, staring unseeingly at the street below. “Well, we don’t need a lot of communication there. I saw him a few days ago, but I honestly don’t know what was going on. And I still don’t.”

“He didn’t say anything about Kate’s shooting?” Mac wanted to know. He tapped his pencil against the notepad. “Maybe he wanted to get some help talking to Jason. I hear Jason’s spent a lot of time at the hospital. Maybe Sonny was frustrated by that.”

He had been, but Carly would never say a word. She half-turned. “Where would you expect Jason to be?”

“Since the majority of the world was unaware of his relationship with Elizabeth Webber, I don’t know if I really thought about it—”

Carly looked back out the window. “I can’t tell you what Sonny was feeling about any of this, but I hope he understood that Jason’s attention was exactly where it should be. On his family. When Jason wasn’t at the hospital, he was looking after the boys, making arrangements for them. Since Lucky just dumped them and ran.”

“Yeah, okay, fair enough. But—” Mac’s phone buzzed. “Give me a minute.” He stepped out to take the call. When the door opened again, Carly prepared for another round with the commissioner. Instead, Patrick stepped in.

“Patrick.” Carly took one step forward, then stopped, searching his eyes. “It’s bad, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. It’s…it’s…I’m on my way to tell Jason, but…” He grimaced, looked down at his hands. “Right now, we removed both bullets. But initial tests for function aren’t coming back with a lot of hope.”

There weren’t any tears left, Carly thought. Not after Michael. There was just cold, slowly sliding under skin until she couldn’t feel anything but the chill. “That could change, couldn’t it?”

“It could. He’ll need another surgery in a few days when the swelling goes down, I may be able to get some better results. But I’d be—” Patrick shook his head. “I don’t want to give you hope, Carly.”

“No, I guess you wouldn’t.” She exhaled slowly. “All right then. When you tell Jason, let him know I went home. I have the boys until he’s ready to pick them up. There’s nothing left for me to do here.”

She left the waiting room, walking past Mac as he hung up from a call with Harper. Mac opened his mouth to call after her, then looked at Patrick. “Bad news?”

“Not great. If you’re hoping he’ll wake up to give you a suspect, you’ll be waiting a long time.”

Harborview Towers: Hallway

Johnny frowned when the guard escorting them upstairs made a right out of the elevator rather than a left — “Uh, where are we going?”

“Where you’re told, unless you want to leave.” The guard lifted a brow, gestured down a short hallway with a door that matched the layout leading to Jason’s place. “This is where Mr. Morgan wants you to wait for him.”

“Johnny, we could really just go—” Nadine said, tugging on his jacket sleeve. “Let’s just go—”

“No. No. This is the right choice.” Jason would believe him about self-defense, and he’d make sure Nadine was safe from everyone. He’d dragged her into this—

The guard shoved the door open, and Johnny went in first, flipping on a light switch. It was another penthouse, darkly decorated and furnished with a thin layer of dust. Across the room, next to the stairs, there was a wall of windows overlooking downtown Port Charles.

“What—” Johnny turned, but the door had closed behind the guard, leaving them alone. He cleared his throat. “This must be Sonny’s old place,” he said finally. “Lu told me he used to live across from Jason.”

“Oh. It reminds me of him.” Nadine wandered towards the large fireplace, with the heavy furniture. “Dark, brooding.” She bit her lip. “Kind of like you.”

“Can we hold off on comparing me to Sonny—” Johnny’s stomach tilted as he thought about the man he’d shot. He hadn’t aimed, hadn’t tried to kill him, but what if he’d hurt him badly? He didn’t want to be like his family—

There were footsteps in the hallway, and then the door opened. Jason stepped in, said something to the guard, then closed the door, leaving the three of them alone.

Jason looked at Nadine for a long moment before focusing on Johnny. “He shot at you first, didn’t he?”

The rush of relief as Johnny realized he’d been right flooded him. “I didn’t—I was just on the pier. I tried to leave, but I thought—I just wanted him to leave me alone. Leave us alone. ”

“He wouldn’t even let me walk away by myself,” Nadine said quietly, and Johnny looked at her. “Johnny really did try.”

“Yeah. Yeah. I figured as much.” Jason crossed his arms, his face hard to read. “Elm Street Pier. Broad daylight. Someone will have seen you.”

“That’s why I brought Nadine here. Because the cops are still pissed about the Hayes trial, and, uh—” Johnny slid Nadine a glance. “She didn’t make any friends then, either. So they’re not going to believe or care it was self-defense.”

“Not to mention your father. Or Claudia,” Jason added. He hesitated. “I can give some protection against them,” he said slowly. “But if someone saw you, Johnny, they saw her. And she’s still a witness.”

“But, like, can’t I just say no? I know what the PCPD will do with my information, they won’t listen to me, and I’ll end up in contempt again,” she muttered, folding her arms. “And I bet a second charge will be the one that does me in.”

“They can arrest you as an accomplice,” Johnny said. He dragged his hands through his hair. “Maybe you could go back to Iowa—”

Nadine scowled. “First of all, it’s Ohio, and I’m not picking up my whole life and running away—”

“I don’t have time for this,” Jason interrupted. “Figure out how to solve the witness thing on your own,” he told Johnny. “Until you do, stay here. If the cops knew where you were, they’d be here already. I have to deal with something else. When I get back, tell me what you want to do.”

“Well, wait—” Johnny started, but Jason was already leaving, and the door was slammed in his face. “That went well,” he muttered. “He didn’t even tell me how Sonny was—”

“Johnny.”

He turned back to face her solemn expression. “What?”

“Jason’s not worried about Sonny telling the cops about either of us.” She swallowed hard, her eyes wide. “I don’t think he’s okay.”

“I—” He grimaced, stripped off his jacket. He couldn’t think, couldn’t focus. She was right, of course. Jason hadn’t once mentioned Sonny. Not by name. Or by condition. Was Sonny dead? In a coma? Still in surgery? “What do you want to do?” he asked finally because she was the only innocent person in the room. And maybe she didn’t want to be around a violent killer.

“I want to go tell Mac and Harper that Sonny came after us. That he pulled a gun and took the first shot.” Nadine stepped towards him. “I want to believe in the cops I watched on TV growing up, you know? The good guys. But even if Mac or the PCPD believed me, there’s still Scott. And I don’t like the idea of you being dragged into court again for something you didn’t do.”

“I did this—” Johnny bit out. “You were there—”

“You were minding your own business, standing on the pier, and Sonny tried to kill you. So, what I want to do Johnny isn’t really a relevant question. We need to figure out something that keeps us both out of trouble.” She bit her lip. “We could both go to Ohio, I guess. Or you could go somewhere where they can’t make you come back.”

That was always an option, but if he ran now, he’d have to keep running, Johnny thought. And Nadine wouldn’t have much choice either — if he ran, she’d have to go, too. But how was he supposed to get her out of this mess? How did he keep her from being dragged into the PCPD—

Johnny looked at her. “You want to stay in Port Charles?”

She drew her brow together, suspicious. “Yes. Why?”

“Because I think…” He swallowed hard. “I think I know what to do. Jason said he can make sure you’ve got protection. But I know how to keep the PCPD from coming after you. From Scott Baldwin. And maybe my father, too. Maybe,” he added, because Anthony Zacchara was always unpredictable.

“Okay. What? What’s the plan? What do we have to do?”

“Spousal privilege.”

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