Struggling between the facts and fiction
I’m alone
But I’m alive
Everyone around me is trying to make a statement
Then there’s me
I’m just trying to survive
– Disarray, Lifehouse

---

Thursday, October 2, 2008

General Hospital: Conference Room

Leo released a quick breath of relief, ran a hand through his dark black curls. “I gotta say, I know this is bad news for you and maybe the rest of the hospital but knowing I didn’t screw up that surgery is a relief.”

Patrick wished he could share in Leo’s relief but learning that Elizabeth’s medication switch had been deliberate created more questions than it answered. He tossed a few files aside. “The plan now is for Spinelli to determine how these—he’s calling these coding glitches misfires, and I guess that’s the best word for them—we want to find out exactly how and when this glitch was inserted into the machine codes. And once he knows that, maybe he can fix them.”

“What about getting new machines? Something like this has to convince the board—” Leo hesitated, sat back when Patrick just looked down. “You’re still not going to escalate this? We know it’s a deliberate hack into the system—”

“Spinelli says the misfires go back to at least July. Whoever did this to Elizabeth—either they were lying in wait, hoping for the opportunity to go after her or she’s not really the first—”

“Or someone hacked the system looking for a way to screw with Elizabeth after she was admitted,” Leo said, “and found this glitch. We don’t know, Patrick—”

“And I want the answer to that question before I make this someone else’s problem.” Patrick got to his feet. “I thought you were on board with keeping this quiet—”

“Until we knew what was going on. Now we do. Our machines were faulty — that’s not news, Patrick.” Leo also got to his feet, folded his arms. “And someone took advantage of those issues and went after a woman connected to Jason Morgan at the same time people around him were dropping like flies—”

“Hey—”

“The fact Elizabeth is one of us—that she’s part of the hospital—that doesn’t have to matter. I don’t know what the problem is, dude. You’ve been on record demanding new machines for months. In fact, if it ever gets out that the board rejected these requests over and over again, it’s going to look bad for them.”

“I know. I know all of that, but—”

“You keep quiet now,” Leo said, “you’re doing it to protect Jason Morgan—”

“I’m doing it to protect the hospital—we’re just barely digging out after last year—” Patrick scowled. “Why the hell would I care about protecting Jason Morgan—”

“Because Elizabeth’s your best friend. Because Morgan’s got history with Robin. Or maybe because you operated on two of his family members this year and you feel a little guilty you nearly didn’t save a third. I don’t know, Patrick, pick a damn reason. Either—”

“It’s a result, but it’s not the reason. This hospital gets another black mark, another round of lawsuits, they’re going to cut something else,” Patrick retorted. “They shut down the nursing program, Leo! We don’t have much left. They’ll go for the pro bono cases we all take. They’re going to cut the daycare. The AIDs wing—”

“That’s supported through donations—”

“It’s not self-sustaining and hasn’t been in five years. You don’t know the shit I’ve seen since I took over, Leo. We’re hanging on the edge here, and one more news story hits that patients aren’t safe at General Hospital, and that’s it. This place will be even more miserable, and we’ll have even less to take care of patients. So, yeah, right now, I’m keeping quiet until I know exactly what I’m dealing with, how serious it is, and how far it goes back.” Patrick headed for the door, then looked back at his friend. “And if my reasons aren’t good enough for you, Leo, feel free to go above my head and do it yourself.”

Leo stroked his chin, then sighed. “All right. All right. I hear you. The nursing program—that was a jolt, and I didn’t think it could get worse, but it has. So let’s…let’s just see what Spinelli comes up with.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re not the only one who loves this place, Patrick. But I don’t like the idea of helping Jason Morgan. All he and his kind do is put more bodies on my table.” And with that, Leo left.

Zacchara Estate: Driveway

It was nearing dusk when Johnny pulled his car into the long drive curving in a semi-circle in front of his family’s house. Nadine had spent all the hours since this morning in a constant state of turbulence, castigating herself for how she’d lost the plot in Las Vegas and allowed Johnny to talk her into bed twice.

Maybe she was just lonely, Nadine thought. She looked up at the huge house, with its forbidding exteriors against the backdrop of the dying sunlight. “Did you really grow up here?”

“When I wasn’t in private school or in college.” Johnny switched off the ignition, looked over at her. “It’s not going to be that bad.”

She squinted at him. “Wasn’t one of your selling points protection from your family?”

“Yeah, but—” he pressed his lips together, clearly trying to think of way around that particular challenge. “They’re not going to threaten you to your face. At least not today.”

“You’re really comforting, you know that?” Nadine shoved the door open and stepped out. She slammed the car door, but didn’t go near the house, giving Johnny time to come to her side. “Look, I get to be nervous about this. Your sister tried to blackmail me into lying to the cops this summer, your dad tried to kill me—”

“Yeah, but he likes you now—that’s not helping either, is it?” Johnny said. “By now, my sister has told them what’s going on. So let’s just go inside, they can say whatever they want, and then I’ll go grab clothes. We’ll be in Port Charles, right? They’re not there.”

Nadine glanced at the house again before sighing. “I guess you’re right. If they want to make me miserable, they’ll have to travel like an hour to make it happen, so we’ve got that going for us. Let’s get this over with.”

“That’s the spirit.” He laced his fingers through hers and pulled her towards the front door. “Now, just remember our cover story, and this will all be fine—”

“The one where I come off as a gold digger taking advantage of the guy on the rebound, why not?”

Johnny stopped, swinging her around so that they faced each other. “No one is going to think that—”

“Oh, they’re all going to think that, but that’s okay. That was the attitude when it was Nikolas, so I’m used to it.” Nadine shrugged but kept her eyes downcast because every time they made eye contact today, she ended up taking off her clothes. “It’s better than being that crazy killer’s sister.”

Johnny opened his mouth, then shook his head. “I don’t know how to respond to that.”

“Good. Don’t. We’ll go in there, I’ll tell them I married you because you’re rich and hot, and you married me because I’m good in bed or maybe because I wouldn’t put out without a ring on my finger—” Nadine wiggled her finger. “Maybe I should have let you stop on the way to the airport for a flashier ring.”

“You pointed out — correctly — that anything bigger would make it harder for you to do your job,” Johnny said. “And you’re not quitting that, so no one is really going to think you’re after me for the money. I don’t even have any, you know. It’s just a trust fund from my mother.”

“All my mother left me was the crazy killer sister, so—” Nadine closed her eyes. “I’m being bitchy and I’m arguing with everything you say because I don’t want to go in there.”

“Yeah, I figured.”

“It’s just…” She bit her lip, looked at the house. “That’s the first step. People are going to know we got married. And then we’re going back to Port Charles. And more people are going to know, and it’ll be like this avalanche we really can’t control, and sure we can tell people until they’re blue in the face that we did this because we’re hot for each other, but everyone is going to know—”

“Then we’ll just have to change their minds.” Johnny cupped her jaw in both hands, and she had no choice but to meet his eyes, those intense dark brown eyes that seemed like they could see straight through her bullshit. “You don’t think we’re up to that?”

“I don’t—” She licked her lips. “I don’t know. I lose track of what I’m thinking when you do that. And don’t ask what, you know what—stop looking at me—”

“I like looking at you. It’s my new favorite thing to do.” He kissed her then, swallowing her next protest, and Nadine’s hands fluttered for a moment before sliding around his back and clinging to him.

“Well, this is an interesting development.”

They jumped apart to find Claudia standing a few feet away, in the open door. “You going to put on a show in the front drive, John, or are you going to bring the wife in to meet the family?”

General Hospital: Conference Room

Spinelli had three laptops set up, each screen covered in code that would look like gibberish to anyone else. There were also several stacks of papers with the same programming language. Spinelli had written a program to go through the mainframe of the hospital dispensary, but he didn’t want to rely just on the computers. Sometimes you found more when you used your own eyes.

He was so lost in absorbing the code that he didn’t hear the knock on the door — but he did hear it burst open, banging against the wall behind it so hard it bounced back. “I didn’t mean that,” Maxie said with a wrinkle of her nose. She stepped in and closed the door. “You didn’t answer my knock.”

Spinelli furrowed his brow. “I didn’t hear you knock.” He circled a set of codes, made a notation. “What does the fair Maximista need?”

“Answers. You’ve been in here all day, and I realized you were already at the hospital yesterday because you found me last night.” Maxie went to the opposite side of the table, planted her hands flat against the tabletop, then narrowed her eyes. “What’s going on?”

“The Jackal’s assistance has been requested and he is not at liberty—”

“Oh, no, no, you don’t get to disappear into that gibberish and try to distract me with your Jackals and wherefores and whatnots and heretofore—” She stabbed a finger at him. “Something is going on. I demand to know.”

Spinelli cleared his throat. “There is a software issue with one of the hospital’s programs. The Determined Doctor Drake has requested the Jackal see to it as a way to save money and receive quick, accurate service. Since I’ve been here anyway.”

Maxie squinted at him, her lips thinned. “There’s enough truth in that I’m gonna leave it alone. For now. Also, I need your help. Johnny hasn’t called me back, and you need to put like, a tracker on him.”

“The Septic Son? Why does Maximista even need him?”

“Because the last time I saw him, he was in a rotten mood. And it was the day of the shooting, don’t you remember? He and Nadine went off together, and then Sonny got shot—”

“Yesterday.”

Maxie stopped, blinked. “What?”

“Mr. Sir was shot yesterday.”

Maxie blinked, then dropped into a seat. “Yesterday. Yeah. I guess it was just yesterday. It’s been barely a week.” She looked at him. “It doesn’t seem so long ago that Lulu was here, and we were bickering with each other, you know? And now she’s gone. Johnny was so upset, and I guess I just—I’m looking for things to do. I’ve done everything I can at Crimson, and Kate doesn’t need me. I figured I could go bother Johnny because I don’t want him to go moping around. Lulu would hate that, you know? She said he brooded too much.”

Spinelli nodded. “The Jackal is painfully aware of the Blonde One’s feelings on the matter.”

“Do you think he shot Sonny?” Maxie wanted to know. She picked at her cuticle. “If he did,” she continued, not waiting for his answer, “it wasn’t his fault. I’ll make sure Mac knows it. Johnny never did anything to bother Sonny, but it’s not like that mattered.” She shoved herself to her feet. “You’re not going to put a tracer on his phone, are you?”

“No, Maximista, I am not.”

“Fine. You keep doing your top-secret work, and I’ll go bother someone else. But eventually—” She pointed at him. “I’m gonna figure out what you’re up to.”

Zacchara Estate: Foyer

Johnny kept his hand at the small of Nadine’s back, ushering her inside — only after Claudia had already swept in front of them. As much as he’d tried to reassure and distract her outside, she wasn’t crazy to worry about his family’s reaction to this.

Anthony Zacchara, on his best day, was an unpredictable bastard who thrived on chaos — a trait he’d passed down to his daughter. If Anthony thought Nadine was a threat to Johnny, he wouldn’t have any trouble disposing of her. And Johnny wasn’t so sure that Claudia wouldn’t be right there with their father to neutralize Nadine.

It was one of the reasons he thought marrying Nadine might help — it would prove to his father that Nadine was on his side. That she’d had the chance to go to the PCPD, and she’d chosen to protect him instead. It was essential that Anthony saw Nadine as being in their camp. It had taken months before his father backed off Lulu—

Johnny wasn’t sure they’d have months for Anthony to warm up to Nadine.

“Just let me do the talking,” he reminded her, guiding her towards the living room where Anthony waited, reclining in his wheelchair, Trevor flanking his side. Ric stood off to the side, looking through some papers, and Claudia was by the bar, pouring another glass of wine.

A typical family scene, Johnny thought almost bitterly.

“Well, if it isn’t the blushing bride and the groom,” Anthony drawled. “I guess you weren’t as broken up about LooLoo the Lunatic as I thought.” He smirked when Johnny tensed. “Or does one blonde feel the same in the dark as the other?”

Johnny bristled, but Trevor drew his attention next. “John, you ran off to Las Vegas without even running this past me,” he said, sauntering towards them. “You have a substantial inheritance coming your way, and you didn’t even let us protect you with a prenuptial agreement.” He lifted his bushy brows. “I don’t suppose you’ll sign a post-nuptial now?”

“I—” Nadine opened her mouth but Johnny held out a hand and she said nothing else.

“When I need you, Trev, I’ll call for you. Until then, don’t bother. My money is my money and Nadine’s welcome to whatever she wants—”

“Oh, don’t bother trying to make me think this is anything other than a cheap way to keep yourself out of jail again,” Anthony cut in sharply. “This woman saw you shoot Sonny Corinthos, didn’t she? And you think this is enough protection? What’s stopping her from going to the PCPD the first time you piss her off?” He shook his head. “No. No, John, I’m not letting you endanger everything I built.” He focused on Nadine. “You’ll sign whatever I put in front of you, and you’ll shut up about whatever you saw on the pier—”

“You’re not going to threaten her,” Johnny retorted. “I won’t let you—”

“Johnny—” Nadine’s voice was soft, and her hand on his arm was reassuring. He looked her, met her eyes. “They’re just scared, okay? Scared and worried. So let’s just try to reassure them, right?”

“I’m not scared—” Anthony began, offended.

“Sure you are,” Nadine said, and so stunned at being interrupted by a woman, Anthony closed his mouth. “And who would blame you? After what Johnny just went through these last two months. He was on trial and in jail just a few weeks ago. It’s natural that you’re worried he might be dragged back with even less evidence. Scott Baldwin made it really clear he didn’t care about Johnny being guilty. And you do have money. Just look at this house, right? I think my apartment would fit into this entire room.”

Anthony considered her for a long moment, then folded his hands in his lap. “So you admit that you married my son for protection.”

“Well, not entirely, no. I mean, when we found out about the shooting, Johnny knew he’d be first in line as a suspect. Especially after what happened to poor Kate Howard. And he knew Scott wouldn’t believe I was an alibi. B-But you know, Johnny could just say talk to my lawyer, and I could find a lawyer of my own. That could be the end of it, right?” Nadine licked her lips. “But it’s okay now. Johnny and I are…we’re together, and we’re a team.”

“Not entirely?” Trevor echoed.

Anthony smirked. “That’s code for yes,” he said in a stage-whisper to the lawyer.

“It’s…more complicated than that. Ask Claudia what she saw when she went outside. Did it look like we were married to avoid being questioned?” she asked Johnny’s sister who pursed her lips.

“No,” she said finally. “A few more minutes, we might have had to throw water on them. I don’t know, Daddy. It might be interesting to see where this going.” She shrugged. “But then again, does my opinion matter?”

“No,” Anthony muttered, “but you’re not always wrong.” He hesitated. “You talk a good game, girl. You amused me during the trial. I think I might like to see what else you have up your sleeve. But you don’t get to lay a hand on my money—”

“Right. So I’ll sign whatever Mr. Lansing wants me to sign.”

“Nadine—” Johnny started, but she shook her head.

“I know what everyone is going to say.” She looked at him, biting her lip, and he knew she was thinking of their conversation back at the hotel. “But I don’t care that you have access to money. I can take care of myself. I’m not a gold digger. So you go pack what you need to come back with me, and I’ll go talk to Mr. Lansing about what he wants me to sign.”

“Pack?” Anthony repeated as Nadine released Johnny’s hand and followed Trevor out the room. “Where the hell are you going?”

Coffee House: Office

Francis dropped the phone onto the base as Jason came into the office. “Hey. I just talked to my contact at the DEA.”

Jason closed the door. “We’re all set for tonight?” He looked over at Cody. “Karpov will be there?”

“He was happy to hear you’d changed your mind about meeting him,” his lieutenant confirmed. “He hopes this will the beginning of a successful partnership.”

Jason grunted. “If we’re lucky, it’ll be the last time I ever have to see or think about him.”

Francis lifted his blond brows. “How’s Sonny? I thought he was supposed to have surgery again today.”

Jason went around to the other side of the desk, moved some papers around. “Nothing. Still waiting for some of the swelling to go down, but—” He looked up briefly before reaching for a stack of invoices. “They haven’t changed their prognosis.”

“Ah. Sorry to hear that.” Francis looked at Cody, tipped his head, and the lieutenant headed out, leaving Francis and Jason alone. “Elizabeth and the kids settle in okay? Her grandmother?”

Surprised by the question, Jason lifted his head again. “What? Yeah. No security issues—”

“I just—I could have confirmed this over the phone. You could be at home with them.” Francis folded his arms. “I know we’re not talking about why Elizabeth got discharged or why we needed to track down some hospital-quality equipment and meds, but—you don’t have to do more than show up at the warehouse tonight—”

“Are you telling me how to do my job?” Jason wanted to know. “Because if you don’t like—”

Francis came around the side of the desk, pulled open the top drawer. He put the picture frame on the desk. “No reason to hide that away anymore. It can go right next to Michael and Morgan.” He slid the frame so that it sat next to the double frame — Morgan that summer, eating an ice cone. And Michael’s last school photo.

“You’ve spent a lot of time hiding them,” Francis said. Jason clenched his jaw. “I told you a couple of days ago that I was glad we were done pretending. I’m not the only one that’s breathing easier knowing we can give your kid—both of them—the kind of protection they deserve. You know when Sonny did this job the best? When he was at his strongest? When he and Carly were good, he went home to his family. He didn’t know how to hang on to it. I sure hope you don’t make the same mistakes.”

Morgan Penthouse: Hallway

Audrey wrapped an arm around Elizabeth’s waist. “Slower, darling. You’re still trying to do too much too fast.”

“I can’t help it,” Elizabeth said, panting as they paused, and she leaned against a window. “I have two boys, and Jason needs me back on my feet—”

“Jason—and those boys—need you to be healthy,” Audrey corrected, and Elizabeth didn’t argue when her grandmother steered her back down the hall. “These problems with the hospital will not be solved overnight.”

“I still can’t believe my medication was deliberately switched.” Elizabeth grimaced as her grandmother lowered her onto the bed. “That’s just insane to me. We’ve been having issues with those stupid machines, but this goes so far and beyond that.”

“I regret, you know, not doing more after Steve passed.” Audrey sat next to Elizabeth, handed her a glass of water. “And when I retired, I could have taken a seat on the board. Edward offered it to me.”

“I miss him being on the board,” Elizabeth said wistfully. “I can’t blame him for not wanting to be there after losing Emily and Alan so close together, but with Monica cutting back her hours, the closing of the nursing program, losing Bobbie—it doesn’t even feel like the same place.”

“The end of an era for sure.” Audrey sighed, rubbed her knee. “Your grandfather thought they’d be the next generation, you know. Alan taking over for him, Jason in medical school — perhaps continuing to follow in his father’s footsteps. And Tommy and his son, TJ. Instead…”

“Gram—”

“I’m not judging Jason for going a different way after the accident,” Audrey said, patting Elizabeth’s hand. “He spent so long in the hospital, surrounded by doctors poking and prodding at him, I’m not surprised he ran as far and as fast as he could. Lila always fretted that Jason continued to run from them—and that Alan and Edward couldn’t stop getting in their own way to heal the breach.”

Elizabeth rotated the glass in her hands. “I didn’t think about—you were around for all of that.”

“To a certain extent, yes. Your grandfather took a great interest in what was happening—he counseled Alan to have some patience, but well, it wasn’t to be. We lost him only a few months later.” Her voice hitched slightly, and she had to take a breath. “Oh, it’s been more than ten years, and it still feels so wrong to speak of him in the past tense.”

“I know. I’ve never stopped missing him.” Elizabeth handed her grandmother a tissue. “He’d be heartbroken at what’s happened to the hospital. He worked so hard to save it—” She looked away. The stress of the hospital had contributed to his fatal heart attack at the desk where he’d spent so much of his life. “When this is done, when we know what happened and we’ve fixed it, I want to do better to honor Gramps. And you. And Bobbie and Amy and all the nurses that came through GH. That nursing program — it gave me a future. A life for my son. I want to bring it back.”

“And I would love to help you, but first—” Audrey handed Elizabeth two pills. “We have to get you better.”

Elizabeth obeyed, swallowing the medication. She set the glass aside. “Gram, you were with Jason most of yesterday. Were—were you with him when he found out about Sonny?”

“I was. It was just after Jason and Patrick had shown me your toxicology reports. Epiphany called him from the Emergency Room.” Audrey tipped her head. “Why? Have you not spoken with him about it?”

“A little. Not much. Jason kind of—he locks in, you know? He focuses on what has to be done. One foot in front of the other—” Elizabeth had to pause, wincing and changing position to take some of the pressure from her sore ribs. “And right now, he has a list of things to do, and he can avoid dealing with it.”

“Ah, well, it’s not unusual, darling, for someone to lose themselves in their work or find something else to take their attention—” Audrey paused.

“It’s just—there’s been so much loss this year, Gram. And if I go back even further, when Alan died, Jason—” Elizabeth bit her lip, looked at her hands. “If Jason hadn’t saved my life, he would have made it to the hospital in time to talk to Alan. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have, it’s just—I think about it a lot. I know losing his father hit him harder than he expected. And I then I had to body slam him by asking him to give up Jake—”

“Oh, darling—”

“Jake was born, and Jason couldn’t be with him, and oh, I could see how much he loved him. It kills me that I took that time—”

“He had to allow it, dear. He could have said no. You can’t carry that with you—”

“But I do. And I don’t know how to stop. Alan, and then not having Jake, then we got hit with Emily—and then Jason just kept losing. Michael. He loved him so much—loves,” Elizabeth corrected softly. “Because we can’t give up hope. But Jason lost another son. And now his best friend and brother—I just—” Her eyes filled. “I want so badly to do the right thing and I’m so terrible at it. I’ve done nothing but hurt him for so long.”

“I imagine Jason would have a very different opinion on that, but all you can do right now is have a little patience. It’s scarcely been a day. Let him absorb this. You’ll know when to push him. You will,” Audrey insisted when Elizabeth just scoffed, swiped at her tears. “Trust yourself, and Jason, that when the time is right, you’ll both know it. Until then, patience is my best advice.”

“Patience. I’ve never been good at that.” Elizabeth sighed when she heard Cameron in the other room. “He’s starting to talk to himself — he’s getting bored with playing, and he’ll wake Jake.”

“I’ll go fetch him, darling, and bring dinner up for all of us.” Audrey kissed her granddaughter’s cheek and left.

Elizabeth looked around the room — around Jason’s bedroom — and wondered why she couldn’t feel settled. Why it was so hard to believe it was different this time?

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