We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding me
Like someone broken
And I couldn’t tell you, but I’m telling you now
Just let me hold you while you’re falling apart
Just let me hold you and we’ll both fall down
– Ever the Same, Rob Thomas

---

Friday, October 3, 2008

Harborview Towers: Lobby

Nadine paced the short length of space between the sofas in the lobby of Harborview Towers, wringing her hands. She didn’t even know why she was here — not really. Only that the exchange with Leyla had cut deeply — her friend had looked at her the way everyone had a year ago.

The whispers would start again, Nadine realized. She hadn’t really been in Port Charles long enough to have a reputation of her own. She was still Jolene’s sister, that crazy bitch who’d hurt so many people and put the hospital in danger. And now she’d married Johnny Zacchara days after he’d haunted the hospital trying to see his mentally ill girlfriend — married him in the wake of Sonny’s shooting — no matter what choice Nadine made, which side she took —

There would always be people who would congratulate themselves for never trusting Nadine in the first place. For never looking past the Crowell name. And there would be others who castigated themselves for ever giving Nadine a chance at all.

“Nadine?”

She turned at the sound of Jason’s approach. He was dressed to leave — with a leather jacket thrown over his sweater. “Oh. You came down so fast. I wasn’t—” She licked her lips. “I’m sorry to bother you. You’ve already done so much for me, and I feel terrible—”

“It’s okay. I was on my way out. Are you okay?” Jason tipped his head. “Johnny left me a message that you were back, and things had gone the way you planned.” He hesitated. “Has something changed?”

“No. Yes. No.” Nadine sank onto one of the sofas, put her head in her hands. “I can’t do this. I promised, and I thought I could, and I was doing okay, but now I’m here, and it’s so real, and I’m not going to be able to do it.”

She heard him move and looked up to find Jason sitting in one of the chairs next to the sofa. “If you need a place to go, or to stay—if you’re worried about the Zaccharas—”

“How can you help us?” Nadine asked dully, staring down at the tiled floors. “Johnny shot your best friend. Everyone said you were like family. And I’m protecting him.” Jason fell silent, and she squeezed her eyes shut, mortified. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, that’s not fair and it’s none of my business.”

“Sonny has blamed Johnny for everything that’s gone wrong since the first day the kid came to Port Charles.” Jason’s quiet, calm words jerked Nadine’s eyes open, and she met Jason’s gaze. “Has he told you about the asylum?”

“Y-Yes.”

“Sonny shot first,” Jason said, and Nadine exhaled slowly. Then nodded. “And he shot at Johnny, could have killed anyone else around him, including you. None of what’s happened since then changes that fact.”

“No. No, I guess it doesn’t.” She chewed her bottom lip. “But—”

“Maybe some men in this business…” Jason hesitated. “Men like Anthony or Trevor Lansing wouldn’t care about the truth. Johnny knew that. He knew his father wouldn’t care that Sonny shot first or that Johnny was trying to protect himself and you. You’re a witness, Nadine, who puts his son at the scene of a crime.”

“I understand all of that, I do. A-And believe me, after telling them what we did in Vegas—” Nadine rubbed her hands across her thighs. “But—Sonny is still your friend.”

“As long as Sonny blamed Johnny for everything bad that happened to him, we were always going to end up here.” Jason’s expression was grim. “I can’t go back and do a better job of keeping the peace. I can’t fix what’s happened, Nadine. Or make Sonny wake up. I can’t stop you from going on the docks or Johnny from taking Lulu to the church. None of that can be changed. All we can do is think about tomorrow. What happens next.”

Jason waited a moment. “I want it to stop,” he continued, his voice low, and she thought it sounded a little strained. “I want the violence to stop. I want my family to be safe. I understand what happened and why Sonny is in that hospital bed. If making sure Johnny gets away with it is the price I have to pay to keep the people that matter out of danger, then it’s worth it.”

Nadine’s smile was wobbly as she nodded. “Yeah, okay. I can understand that. If I, um, if I changed my mind, if I let the PCPD know what happened, Scott would drag Johnny into a trial. And maybe he wouldn’t get lucky this time. And judging from the way Anthony and Claudia Zacchara acted yesterday, I don’t think it’ll take much to push them. It’s just…” She swiped at her eyes. “I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault. And I’m making it your problem when I should just take care of myself. It’s just—everyone’s looking at me like I did this horrible thing because Lulu isn’t well, and I just don’t know what to do.”

She cleared her throat, looked away from Jason, pushed herself to her feet. “And it’s still not your problem to solve. I’m sorry.”

Nadine was halfway to the door before she heard Jason call her name. She turned back to find him with a phone at his ear, gesturing for her to come back. “What’s wrong?”

Jason ended the call, put the phone in his pocket. “A friend at the PCPD. Baldwin just dragged Johnny in for questioning.”

Nadine exhaled slowly. “Oh.”

“His lawyer’s on his way, but there’s a chance that Baldwin will hold him for as long as he can. That’s seventy-two hours—”

“But that’s not fair. He—” Nadine shook her head. “Thank you. Thank you for telling me.”

She left then, shoving the door to the street open. The brisk October wind hit her cheeks, chilling the streaks left by the tears she’d shed inside.

She had a choice to make, and there was nothing else Jason Morgan could do to help her.

PCPD: Squad Room

When the double doors to the squad room sprang open and Johnny Zacchara was led in, his hands cuffed behind his back and Scott Baldwin following with a satisfied, smug expression on his face, Mac thought about going out the window in his office and submitting his resignation on his way to Bali.

Because he did not get paid nearly enough to put up with Scott, his vendettas, and refusal to listen to basic common sense.

But instead, Mac remained standing in the center of the room, and just tipped his head towards the interrogation room. “Put him in there,” he told the uniform whose hand was wrapped around Johnny’s bicep. “I’m sure his lawyer is already on his way.”

“He will be when I get my phone call,” Johnny said.

“I know Ric’s number, I’ll take care of it,” Mac said.

“Appreciate it.”

With that, the uniformed cop tugged the younger man towards the room, and Mac turned his attention on Scott. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? You had my uniforms arrest him without a warrant?”

“I had probable cause,” Scott said, folding his arms, a bullish light in his eyes. “You weren’t bothering to do anything—”

Mac shook his head. “I’m not doing with this you. I’m not. Ric is going to come down here, he’ll get Johnny released in twelve seconds, and then we’re going to be even less than nowhere—”

Scott rolled his eyes. “Please. We’ll hold him for at least seventy-two hours, which will give that new wife of his the time and space to think about her actions. Why don’t you call her? Let her know the hubby has been dragged in?”

“Nadine Crowell flew across the country to marry him, Scott. She had hours to change her mind—”

“With Zacchara breathing down her neck? Playing the sympathy card? The brooding, misunderstood victim?” Scott snorted. “We give her a few days, maybe she changes her mind.”

“And then Ric files a harassment charge—”

“I got probable cause to bring him in. Maybe we don’t get to charge him today,” Scott shot back, “but we’re going to do this, Mac. I’m not letting Johnny put another body in the morgue—”

“He didn’t put the first one in there,” Mac said quietly. “And you know it. You don’t like Lulu’s story. Or that Maxie’s statement backs it up. Don’t forget, Lulu stopped your son from going after my daughter.”

Scott flinched, and Mac felt a small spiral of shame. “That’s the story they all came up with, but I don’t believe it. And Logan? He’s not here to defend himself. So I’ll wait right here until that lawyer shows up, and then we’re going to do this whether you like it or not.”

“Fine, but we’ll do it my way. You can’t question him, Scott,” Mac cut in. “Unless you want to be a witness in your own case. So shut up and let me do my job.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

“This was the worst time to get into a car accident,” Elizabeth muttered, leaning back against the sofa, pressing a hand to her abdomen where her long-sleeved shirt covered the bandage from her surgery.

“Did you say something, darling?” Audrey asked, leading Cameron in from the kitchen, his little hand tucked in hers.

“No. No. Are you leaving for school, baby?” Elizabeth asked, forcing herself to sit up, wincing when Cameron came forward to hug her. “You’re sure you’re okay to take him, Gram?”

“Well, if it were just me, likely not. But Jason has offered me a driver.” Audrey looked through her purse, then put the strap over her shoulder. “He’s a nice young man. Milo something or other.”

“Giambetti. He’s one of…I know his brother.” And Elizabeth wondered, sadly, if Max and his brother had returned to Jason’s employ with Sonny in the hospital. There was so much going on, so many changes, and she couldn’t do anything to help. She was useless—

But what if she hadn’t had the accident? Where would they be then?

That thought had been lurking for a while now, and with nothing to distract her as Audrey left for the school with Cameron in tow, and Jake taking his morning nap, Elizabeth didn’t have anything else to think about.

If Elizabeth had made it home from the airport — this would all still be a secret, she thought. Because Jason had come forward only because she was injured, because it had made him realize that time was short, and they’d wasted too much of it. And maybe he’d been a little worried that her accident was connected to Kate’s shooting. He’d acted impulsively that first night, and every action since then had stemmed from that choice.

But if there hadn’t been the accident, then Jason would have been free to focus on Kate’s shooting. Maybe Sonny wouldn’t have felt the need to do it on his own or confront Johnny Zacchara.

Maybe Sonny wouldn’t be lying unresponsive in a hospital room.

Elizabeth pressed her hands to her face, took a deep breath, and shoved all of that out of her head. Whatever the reasons were, she and Jason were now together in the eyes of the world, and the people who mattered knew about Jake. Jason was dealing with whatever was wrong at the hospital, Kate’s shooting, Johnny Zacchara, and Sonny’s situation. She could sit here wallowing in all of that and creating more doubts in her own mind, or she could just suck it up and focus on getting better. Getting stronger.

The sooner she was up and moving around, the sooner Jason could cross her off the list of problems to worry about. And maybe then he’d stop tiptoeing around her and he’d let her help him. He’d talk to her, and she wouldn’t feel like she was a guest. Even her own grandmother seemed more at home in Jason’s penthouse than Elizabeth did, and that couldn’t continue.

She’d dreamed about Jason fighting for their life together, and he’d done it. She’d been unconscious for a lot of it but Elizabeth wasn’t going to let that bother her. He’d made an impulsive choice that night, but he’d still made it. So she’d make sure he didn’t regret it.

Elizabeth found the cell phone Audrey had left next to her, and called the one person who might understand.

“Hello?”

“Robin. Hey. How are you feeling? Is this a good time?”

“Well,” Robin said, with a sigh, “it’s as good a time as any. I’ve docked myself on the sofa, and Patrick’s at work. I thought about getting up, but I don’t think it’s worth it.”

“I remember that stage of pregnancy,” Elizabeth replied with a smile. “Five weeks until the date, right?”

“It can’t be fast enough. I need this baby out.” Robin waited for a beat. “But how are you? Patrick told me what happened at the hospital. Please tell me Jason’s filled you in by now.”

“He did. He waited until yesterday, but I know. It’s…a lot. Jason said this morning that they think they know how it was done, so it’s probably over at least as far as GH is concerned.” Elizabeth bit her lip. “Gram seemed relieved, but I don’t know if it’s enough to know how.”

“Patrick tried to convince me he’s going to put this away, but I don’t believe him. Or Jason, if he’s saying the same. You almost died, Elizabeth. I don’t think any of us are going to forget that.”

“No.” Elizabeth shifted, wincing as pain slid sharply through her. She’d declined the pain meds her grandmother had given her, opting for simple over the counter Tylenol, but that meant she was feeling a lot right now. “I’m…I’m sorry about Sonny.”

Robin was quiet for a long moment. “I’ve been avoiding it. Not thinking about it. It still doesn’t feel real,” she finally said. “I can’t imagine what Jason is going through. How he’s handling it. If he’s handling it at all, which I doubt.”

“He’s doing what he always does,” Elizabeth murmured, looking around the penthouse, at all the pieces of evidence that four new people were staying here, including two small children. “He spends all his time taking care of everyone else and puts himself at the bottom of the list.”

“Are you going to let him get away with that? Because I can’t chase him, and you know Carly isn’t going to try very hard.”

“It’s hard to push Jason into taking care of himself,” Elizabeth admitted. “Because he spends all his time taking care of you, and you end up feeling selfish for demanding more from him.”

Robin sighed. “Some things never change.”

Metro Court Hotel: Lobby

Carly sighed when she saw her mother pass through the hotel’s entrance and turned to the receptionist behind the desk. “Jenny, can you call my office? Tell Ang to hold that next meeting.”

“Sure thing, Mrs. Jacks.”

Carly winced at the use of her married name. She was never changing her name again, she thought. Not that she’d ever be stupid enough to get married again. Three husbands were more than enough for a lifetime. “Mama,” she said, meeting her mother halfway, kissing her cheek. “What brings you by? You want a late breakfast?”

“No. No. I’m running a few errands for Audrey, and then heading downtown to volunteer at the clinic.” Bobbie squeezed her hand. “I wanted to see how it went when you told Morgan yesterday.”

Carly winced, and her mother sighed. “I meant to, but I got caught up at the hospital, and then I ran into Scott and Jax. We had a fight—by the time I got home, I just—”

“Carly—”

“I’m really not trying to avoid this, I promise,” Carly said. She pressed her clipboard to her chest, wrapping her arms around her torso. “I know I have to tell him. It’s just—it’s hard.”

“I know, honey. But if you keep avoiding it, you’re going to lose the chance to do it yourself. You should know better than anyone. Tell the truth, or someone else will tell it for you.”

PCPD: Interrogation Room

Johnny twisted his hand so that he could rub his other wrist, sore from the cuffs that Scott had refused to have removed, even though Johnny was locked up in the interrogation room.

He skulked around the room, stopping in front of the window that usually had a view into the squad room, but the shade had been drawn from the other side, so there was nothing to indicate who was out there or if Ric had made his way up from Crimson Pointe yet.

He knew Scott didn’t have anything on him. If there was evidence to be found, Mac would have already brought him in — and the police commissioner had looked pissed to see Johnny at all. The arrest was bullshit — but Johnny wasn’t ready to trust that Baldwin didn’t have an ace up his sleeve.

And there was always the chance Nadine would change her mind. All she’d have to do is go to Scott, admit they’d gotten married to keep her from testifying against him, and the spousal privilege would be invalidated. Johnny didn’t think she’d do that, but he didn’t know her that well, not really.

She had a sense of right or wrong that was almost admirable, except he knew it got her into trouble all the time. And she was impulsive — which was mostly how they’d gotten everything all twisted up. He knew she was having second thoughts — she’d woken this morning and everything had seemed so much more real—he’d seen it in her eyes when she’d all but run from the bedroom earlier.

And now he’d have to call her because he’d be in lockup for however long Scott could hold him. Unless Ric worked some sort of special magic—

“He’s right in here.” Johnny turned at the sound of Mac’s voice and saw the door open. Nadine came around the corner, and Johnny stared at her, confused. She still wore the leggings and hooded jacket she’d left the apartment in several hours ago, her blonde hair pulled back from her face, but there were tear stains on her cheeks and her eyes looked a little red.

“What are you doing here?” Johnny demanded. “Did they arrest you, too?” He turned furious eyes to Mac. “You don’t have a damn right—”

“She showed up on her own,” Mac interrupted, sounding almost bored, “and said she wanted to talk to you. Since I don’t want you here at all, I figured what the hell, right?” He pulled the door shut.

“How?” Johnny cleared his throat, stopped. “Why are you here?”

“Um, I don’t know—are they recording us?” Nadine’s eyes flicked up to the camera in the corner. “Because we don’t have an expectation of privacy, right? That’s what they told me the first time I got arrested.”

Johnny opened his mouth. “The first time?”

“Back in Ohio. I was arrested at a protest. I punched a cop,” Nadine folded her arms. “Anyway. Um, I heard they brought you in. I figured you used your call for your lawyer, so I just…” She bit her lip, came closer to him, her blue eyes avoiding looking at him directly. “I showed up here.”

“You don’t have to—” Johnny started. “This is…” He wanted to tell her it wasn’t what she’d signed on for, but it’d be a lie. Of course she’d signed up for this. It had literally been the basis for their mad dash for Las Vegas.

But the conversation at the penthouse that day felt like a fever dream now, like so much of the last two days did. Nadine hadn’t signed up for any of this when he’d caught her at the hospital that morning and talked her into helping him build a case with Nikolas to see Lulu.

How could so much have happened since then?

Nadine bit her lip, flicked her eyes past him to the camera again, then fisted her hands in his shirt and leaned in, brushing her mouth against his lightly, not pulling all the way back so that their breath mingled. “It’s where your wife would be, isn’t it?” she asked softly, her hand sliding up to his neck, framing the line of his jaw with her fingers. “That’s what I promised to do. I made a promise,” she repeated and now she did pull back just enough so that their eyes met. “I keep my promises.”

Drake Condo: Living Room

Patrick closed the door behind him, dropped his keys on the desk. “Hey, you almost ready—” He paused when saw Robin in the dining area, a photo album on the table, and a box of photos next to her. “What’s that?”

She sighed, then held out a photo. Patrick studied it — a much younger Robin, Sonny, and Brenda with a man he didn’t know — but recognized from pictures. “Stone?”

“Sonny was like his brother,” Robin murmured. “Stone had an actual older brother, Jagger, but they never got along that well.” She held out another photo of Robin and Sonny in front of the Christmas tree. “I talked to Elizabeth a little while ago, and I just…I can’t believe I’ll never talk to Sonny again.”

“I’m sorry. I know how close you were once.” He sat next to her, stroked her shoulder.

“It was another lifetime ago,” Robin said with a shake of her head. “Sonny took Jason when we broke up, though I know he wouldn’t have seen it that way. We just…we grew apart, and by the time I came home three years ago, all we really shared anymore was Stone.”

Patrick sorted through the photos, found another of Robin with a different woman. “I don’t know her.”

“Sonny’s first wife, Lily.” Robin took the photo from him. “She was really kind to Stone, too. He died in Sonny’s penthouse, did you know that? He was still married to Lily then. Then she died in an explosion about—” She squinted. “Six months later, I think. Car bomb at Luke’s.” She set the photo down. “It was meant for Sonny. But he cheated death. He dodged it so many times, you know. I got to think of him as invincible.”

Patrick reached for her hand, squeezed it. “The procedure went well yesterday,” he told her, and she flashed him a smile. “We eased the swelling. You know—”

“The chance is small that it will make a difference. I know. It’s not so different from Michael. Not enough to call brain death, but not quite enough to eliminate all hope.” She rested her chin on her first. “It might have been better for everyone if it was a clean break instead of this ambiguity. Do you mourn the man who still breathes even though he’ll never wake? Or do you wait for a miracle?”

← Chapter 29 | Chapter 31 →