‘Cause I’m not your princess, this ain’t a fairytale
I’m gonna find someone someday
Who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rear-view mirror disappearing now
And it’s too late for you and your white horse
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse
To catch me now
– White Horse (TV), Taylor Swift

---

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Nadine’s Apartment: Kitchen

The first time she slammed the cabinet door, Johnny barely noticed it. The second time, he glanced over from the sofa, and the third time, he cleared his throat and got to his feet. “Uh, did you want help putting the dishes away?”

Nadine pressed her lips together, said nothing. She closed the dishwasher with the toe of her foot, then a bump of her hip.

“Okay,” Johnny said, drawing the word out uncertainly. “Are you still mad at me?”

“No, why would I be mad at you?” she asked sweetly, picking up the plastic dish with the leftovers from dinner. She yanked the fridge open, dropped the container on the middle shelf, then let the door slam.

“I didn’t throw the food.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“I didn’t start it either,” Johnny said, following Nadine back into the living room. He snagged his jacket from the hook hurriedly when she dragged her sweatshirt over her head. “You’re not going jogging at this time of night — we’re in the middle of a conversation.”

“No, we’re not.” Nadine pulled the door open, but he slapped a hand on it and shut it. She scowled, pulled it open again, and then they wrestled for a minute over the doorknob. “I want to go for a walk, and I don’t want to look at you right now—”

“Okay, so you are mad at me.” Johnny slithered in front of the door, arched his brows. “Why can’t you just say that? I didn’t start the fight. And I paid for everyone’s food, remember? I stayed to clean up!”

Nadine closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and counted to ten. “The last time Maxie saw us together at the hospital, what happened?”

“Hospital security had to escort us both out. In my defense, she kicks—” He rubbed his forearm. “And bites—”

“For the last month, every time Maxie so much as sees us breathing the same air, she loses her mind. I asked you, no, I begged you, just ignore her. Don’t respond. Don’t fight back. Walk away. We could have just—”

“Let her win?” Johnny made a face. “Not a chance. She’s wrong—”

“She’s not!” Nadine retorted. “The only reason any of this is happening is because Lulu isn’t here. Okay? If she were okay, you never would have been on the pier with me, we wouldn’t have gone to Vegas, and we wouldn’t be sleeping together!” She dragged her hands down her face. “Maxie’s not wrong. Even a little bit. Okay? And she knows it.”

“She doesn’t know—”

“Johnny—” There was a sudden pressure behind her eyes, and Nadine had to exhale, to look away. “Sometimes you can be the most infuriating man alive, do you know that?”

Johnny straightened, moved away from the door. “You’re complicating something that doesn’t need to be complicated. Maxie will cool down and we can all just get on with our lives—”

“Yeah? What does that look like, Johnny? What, four or five months, we’ll figure no one will ask any questions, and we’ll just get a divorce? You’ll go back to your crazy family, and I’ll get my half of the closet back?”

Johnny opened his mouth, then closed it. “What does that mean? What are you asking me?”

“Nothing. Nothing. You’re right. This is only as complicated as we want it to be, and you don’t want it to be, do you?”

When he just looked at her, she nodded. “Exactly. So when I ask you to stop poking at Maxie who is justifiably angry about what happened to her friend and how we handled it, maybe next time you’ll listen. Now, get out of my way and let me go for a walk.”

This time, he didn’t stop her.

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

“Look at you, throwing parties. Who would have guessed it?” Bobbie teased, joining Jason by the fireplace as he watched Jake carefully build a tower from the Legos he’d spilled out onto the floor.

Across the room by the desk, Elizabeth had been cornered by her grandmother and Monica, her smile bright and her eyes happy. After a long year—after several long years — of seeing her cry more than smile, it was a relief that only memories of Emily a few days earlier had brought those tears to the surface.

“Audrey handled everything.”

“Well, still, it’s a good thing to get everyone together. Though maybe I should have tied a chicken or something around Carly’s neck so that someone over the age of twenty-five will talk to her,” Bobbie said. Jason searched out Carly who was making very awkward conversation with Spinelli, practically the only adult in the room other than Jason who could stand her. Cameron and Morgan took turns chasing each other, looping around sofas and pool tables.

“I told her she didn’t have to come,” Jason reminded Bobbie, who just sighed.

“I told her that, too, but well, maybe she took it as a dare. She said she’s been trying hard to be good, at least since some incident at the hospital.” Bobbie lifted her brows. “How’s she doing? Is she finally learning to play well with the other kids?”

“Good. She’s been great. With Cam, I mean. And having Morgan around has really made the adjustment easier for him. And Elizabeth hasn’t said anything about her.”  Not that she would, Jason thought. She never did complain to him about Carly, preferring to handle it herself.

“Moving in here or losing Lucky?” Bobbie wanted to know. When Jason just looked down, she sighed. “I wish I could understand what happened to my nephew. He wasn’t always like this. Or, you know, maybe he was,” she murmured, more to herself. “His answer when things were difficult was to run away. Couldn’t deal with his father, okay, but the way he treated Laura—I don’t know. Maybe he was always going to grow up to be Luke.”

Jason sipped his beer, and Bobbie tapped his arm. “You don’t have to answer that. Or say anything. The boys have been good for each other. And I’m so glad they both have you.” She paused. “I don’t—I don’t want to pry or poke into anything, but you should know that Patrick’s talked to Carly about decisions that need to be made for Sonny.”

Jason took a deep breath, looked over to Patrick who had joined Elizabeth by the door. “I—I haven’t asked her.”

“I know. And Carly’s a little prickly on the subject, too. I just thought you should know the topic has been raised.”

Drake Condo: Living Room

Robin rubbed her belly, feeling the reassuring press of a tiny foot against her hand. “You know, if you’d just come out, I could have gone out tonight,” she muttered to her unborn child. “You’re being very stubborn.”

“Are you insulting my grandchild?” Anna asked. Robin turned to find her mother smiling, holding out a cup of herbal tea. “This is a good lesson for you to learn. Children will do as they please. You certainly did.”

“I want to argue with that, but I can’t. Uncle Mac basically threw up his hands after a while.” Robin sipped her tea. “I was doing just fine with all of this, living my life, going where I wanted, but a week ago, it just became impossible.”

Anna just smiled, went over to the sofa, began to organize the pillows, fold the throw blanket Robin had used earlier that day. “Any day now. Or minute. And Patrick is just a phone call away. I’m sure Elizabeth understands — you said she was a mother, didn’t you? She and Jason have how many children?”

“Two,” Robin said absently, then frowned, looked at her mother. “No, one. Well, the younger son is Jason’s biological son. The older is from someone else, I don’t really know anything about him.”

“Wasn’t she married to Lucky Spencer? I thought I remember something about it from my visit last year—” Anna furrowed her brow. “Or was it two years ago?”

“They divorced last year, but they’d been having issues for a while.” Robin began a lap around the room, wincing as the baby shifted, pressing against her ribs. She rubbed her belly again, hoping to get the baby roll another way. “They separated, and Liz and Jason had something. It was a mess for a while, but it seems like it’s sorted out now.”

“I still find it laudable that you’re friendly with your ex-boyfriend. And that you’ve become such close friends with the new woman in his life. Holly and I could never quite achieve that, though I tried to be friendly for your sake.”

Robin snorted. “If that was you being friendly —” Her mother flashed her a quick grin. “I told you before — it’s been ages since Jason and I were together and, well, Liz got close to Patrick first. She was really great when I found out I was pregnant. When I left Port Charles, I was sure Jason would end up with Carly. Thank God he found Liz. And I’m glad he’s a father. He really deserves it.”

Anna lifted his brows. “I’m certainly not one to talk about having a family with a dangerous profession, but is it really a good idea for a man like him to have a family?”

Robin bristled. “A man like him? A wonderful, devoted, loyal, and generous man?”

“A man in the business that he is,” Anna said, unruffled by her daughter’s sharp tone. “Look what happened to that poor boy and Jason’s business partner—”

“Neither of those things were Jason’s fault. And if people listened to him more often, they wouldn’t have—” Robin closed her mouth, her throat suddenly tight. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t even know how we got on this topic, darling.” Anna rubbed her shoulder. “You know your friend best. Drink your tea and we’ll find something to watch until Patrick returns.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Elizabeth sidestepped Cameron and Morgan on another lap around the pool table, lifting the tray in her hands high to avoid being knocked down.

“Let me grab that,” Patrick said, reaching for it. “Birthday girl doesn’t work.” She followed him over to the desk which had been cleared off for the birthday cake Bobbie had pulled out of the fridge earlier.

“Moms don’t get days off,” Elizabeth said, already tidying the table, tucking plastic forks and spoons back into the red cup that had tipped over at some point. Patrick slapped playfully at her hands. “Please, just wait until Robin has a kid living outside her body. It’s impossible to turn the radar off.”

“Fair enough—” Patrick paused when the door behind them opened and Maxie came through, her jacket thrown over her arm and a gift bag in her hand. The blonde ignored them both and headed right for Spinelli, tossing the gift haphazardly on the coffee table.

Elizabeth pursed her lips, then deliberately turned back on the blonde. “Carly and Maxie at my birthday party. Who made this list again?”

Patrick smirked, then his smile faded when snatches of Maxie and Spinelli’s conversation drifted over to them. Maxie was animated, her hands flying in the air, and Spinelli had his shoulders hunched. “And she doesn’t look happy to be here.”

“Well, who wants to attend the birthday party of your ex-boyfriend’s ex-wife?” Elizabeth shrugged a shoulder. “I’m sure Spinelli didn’t even think about it. He wasn’t around for that stuff.”

She caught Jason’s eye across the room and saw him also looking at the pair with a little concern. She shook her head, trying to indicate that it was okay, and he nodded, returned his attention to keeping Cameron and Morgan from knocking things over. Carly was with her mother, doing everything she could to avoid Monica Quartermaine, who was glaring at her.

“Happy birthday to me,” Elizabeth murmured, then focused on Patrick again. “Sorry. I really shouldn’t be annoyed. I drove Jason crazy with Lucky and Ric and—well, let’s just say the list doesn’t end there. How is Robin?” she asked, changing the subject. “Driving you crazy?”

“Driving everyone crazy. Thank God her mom showed up to distract her,” Patrick muttered. “Did she tell you that our offer on the house was accepted?”

Elizabeth lit up. “Really? That’s amazing! Oh, I’m so happy. Our kids will grow up near each other, and you’re going to love the neighborhood. Cam’s not in public school yet, but I’ve heard great things.”

“Robin has us on the wait list at St. Andrews already,” Patrick said with a grimace. “The tuition is ridiculous. It’s preschool, and I think it costs as much as Harvard.”

“Oh, I know.” She made a face. “If it weren’t for Cam’s grandfather leaving him a trust fund for education, I’d be over at Happy Wagon or whatever that place is called near the hospital. But thanks to Cameron Lewis, I applied for St. Andrew’s the second I came home from California. Being Steve and Audrey Hardy’s great-grandson was definitely my ticket in. But it’s worth it. Cam adores it, and he’s already learned so much just in two months.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s something I have to start thinking about. Schools and pediatricians. Robin’s probably got lists for that, too. But before we can worry about any of that, we’ve got to have a baby. Kelly says if she still hasn’t delivered in a week, we’re inducing.” He rolled his shoulders. “She wanted to come—”

“But going anywhere right now is awful. I completely understand. Tell her not to worry. You know Kelly has everything under control. There’s no one I’d trust more. You know what I went through with Jake, and Kelly’s the reason I’m still here.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s just—” Patrick looked down at the bottle of beer in his hand. “After what happened to you, I just can’t stop myself from thinking what if Robin’s the next patient? What if the baby needs something—”

“Spinelli fixed the codes. And installed a firewall,” she reminded him gently, touching his arm. “And if I’m back to work, you know you can call me. I’ll work on her case and watch everything like a hawk. Any nurse would, but—”

“But you know what could happen,” Patrick finished. He rubbed his chest with a lightly fisted hand. “Yeah. Yeah. I know Spinelli did everything he could to make the system safe, and everyone’s happier, but—”

“But,” she said with a nod when he stopped talking. “You don’t have to tell me. We’re still short-staffed, and I overheard Epiphany saying we lost two more nurses.”

“I don’t want you to worry about any of that—”

“But I do. Gram and I were talking about the nursing program. How much it meant to both of us. And what the hospital means to our family. To Jason’s—” she looked at him now, trapped with Monica who had brought baby photos of Jason for them to compare to Jake. Jason held them in his hand and Monica had Jake in her arms, smiling broadly. “The hospital matters, Patrick. It’s given me so much. I want to find a way to give back. I know it’s not as simple as just asking Jason for the money. I’ve thought about it, but—”

“We can’t afford any, uh, questions about the source,” Patrick said with a sigh, and she nodded, making a face. “Yeah. I’m getting to the point where I don’t care, but that’s just desperation.”

“We’ll figure it out, Patrick. Somehow.”

Nadine’s Apartment: Living Room

The electric keyboard wasn’t the same as the piano back home, and it was hard to really get lost in the music the way he used to with it propped on the coffee table, bumping into his knees, but it was better than nothing.

He didn’t know how long Nadine was gone and he didn’t hear the door when it opened again, but he felt the mood in the apartment shift, the energy change. He glanced towards the door, saw Nadine leaning against it, her expression pensive.

He let the piece he was playing trail off. “Sorry, I know it’s getting late—”

“I like listening to you play.” Nadine toed off her sneakers, then curled up in the armchair next to the sofa. “Which one is that? I’ve heard it before.”

“Moonlight Sonata. Beethoven,” he added. “I know it by heart. Don’t even have to look at the keys anymore.” He demonstrated by keeping his eyes on her face while his fingers danced across the keys, playing the next stanza.

“Probably loses some of its power on a dinky keyboard propped up on a coffee table,” Nadine said with a sigh.

“A little.” He switched off the keyboard, then flexed his fingers. “Are we still fighting?”

“No. I just—I want you to ignore Maxie the next time she starts—” Nadine held up a hand when Johnny opened his mouth to protest. “She visited Lulu in the hospital every day. Going back and forth between Kate Howard’s controlling cousin and sitting for hours, chattering away at a woman who never answered.”

Johnny exhaled, dropped his gaze down to the black and white piano keys. “They weren’t even that close. She’s being dramatic—”

“Maybe. Maybe she’s carrying the same guilt you do. Neither of you put Lulu in that bed or caused her to crawl inside herself and not come back. But you both carry the weight of it. You pretend it doesn’t matter, like it didn’t happen. And she attacks you—and me—because it feels better to have someone to blame.”

“I don’t—” Johnny closed his mouth. He couldn’t even finish the statement. “I don’t know what else to do.” He looked at her. “We all have to figure out how to cope, right? I pretend it didn’t happen, Maxie gets homicidal rage, and you smile at everyone trying to fix them. I mean, that’s how you’re handling the way people talk about you, right?”

“We’re not talking about me—” Nadine pushed herself to her feet, headed for the kitchen and to the bedroom beyond, but he followed her.

“You came to town because of what your sister did, you told me that. To put some good back into the world. How’s that working for you? You saved Nikolas’s life, and he walked out. You tried to help me, and look how that turned out—”

Nadine turned to face him, her expression strained. “I didn’t try to help because of Jolene. And that’s not why I tried to help Nikolas—”

“Really? Did you even know Nikolas? But you went out on every limb trying to save him from himself, forcing him to save his own life. And me? You threw away your whole life to help me. Who does that?”

“Oh, now you want to complain? Let’s remember who talked who into this, Johnny! That was you—” She jabbed a finger into his chest. “I wanted to go to the police, but you reminded me that they suck at doing the right thing and convinced me that getting married would solve our problems. Now you’re mad because I agreed?”

“That’s not what I meant—” Johnny started, but Nadine sliced her hand through the air.

“No! No! I’m sick of being told what I’m doing and why I’m doing it, okay? You don’t know me, you don’t know a damn thing about me! No one does. I’m not some piece of white trash chasing bank accounts or a useless girl who just wants to save the world—”

Johnny scowled. “Now who’s putting words in who’s mouth? I never said a word about the money. You refuse to take it, and who the hell called you white trash, because I sure as hell didn’t—” His scowl deepened when Nadine looked away. “Who’s calling you a gold digger, Nadine? Is that what they’re saying at the hospital? Because—”

“Forget it. Forget I said anything. Forget all of it. I don’t want to have this argument anymore. If you want to fight with Maxie everywhere, then fine. Do whatever makes you happy. What does it matter that all it does is humiliate me? It didn’t matter to Jolene, didn’t matter to Nikolas. Why would you be any different?”

She slammed the bedroom door before Johnny could say a word. He stood in the middle of the tiny kitchen, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do now.

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bedroom

Elizabeth held up the T-shirt with the Crimson Magazine logo scrawled across it, then looked at Jason across the room. “Well, maybe I should be relieved it’s not poison.”

“I didn’t even—” Jason came over, took the shirt and the gift bag which also included a few back issues of the magazine. Maxie had clearly just grabbed something on her way out of the office that evening. “I didn’t think about telling Spinelli not to invite her, I’m sorry—”

“It’s fine. I’m just surprised she even went to the trouble of giving me a gift, even a terrible one. It’s more than my parents have done in—” She considered. “Three or four years, maybe. Not since before Cameron.” She took the bag back from him, tossed it in the back of the closet, then slid her arms around his waist. “Thank you. For tonight.”

“It was your grandmother’s idea—”

“And I’ve thanked her already, but it still means a lot to me to have the people I love in one room—along with people I tolerate because I love you,” she teased and he managed a half-smile. “I wasn’t…I wasn’t sure what it would be like to celebrate this year. I barely even remember last year. But Em would be so mad if I let it ruin another year.”

Jason stroked her back, and Elizabeth laid her head against his chest. “I know.” He kissed the top of her head. “I know you talk about her a lot with the boys. Cameron mentioned her. Said he missed Aunt Em bringing him chocolate.”

“Every visit. Always had candy for them hidden somewhere,” she murmured, closing her eyes. “I always told her one day, it’ll be your turn, and I’ll slip your kids candy, so they’re all sugared up together.” Her breath was only a little shaky now. “I hate that she’ll never have that. That we’ll never get to be moms together. But I want to keep her memory fresh for the boys. She loved them so much, and I hate that she’ll be nothing more than a picture.”

“Michael and Sonny…that’s what they’ll be for Morgan,” Jason said, and she stilled, her fingers resting against the soft cotton fabric of his shirt. “He won’t remember having an older brother. A father.”

She tipped her head back, and their eyes met. “Maybe not. But we’ll remember, and we’ll share them with Morgan. We won’t let them be forgotten.” Then she tipped her head to the side and smiled. “And I haven’t forgotten about my plans to thank you properly for my gift this morning.”

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