I’m so tired but I can’t sleep
Standin’ on the edge of something much too deep
It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can’t be heard
– I Will Remember You, Sarah McLachlan
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Patrick & Robin’s Condo: Nursery
Robin cradled her newborn daughter in her arms, swaying gently and rubbing Emma’s back, hoping the fussy baby would drift back to sleep. “Mommy needs a nap, too,” she murmured. She continued swaying, slowly turning in a circle, smiling when she faced the doorway and saw Patrick leaning against the open door frame. “There’s Daddy.”
“Is my perfect princess giving her mother a hard time?” Patrick asked, grinning.
“Of course not, my perfect child wouldn’t dream of it,” Robin said, returning the smile. She went to the crib, laid the baby down on her back. Emma’s eyes remained closed, her tiny hands curling into fists. Robin caressed her cheek, then drew back, pressing a finger against her lips.
They both retreated to the living room and Robin checked the monitor. “I thought you had a meeting,” she said, leaning up to kiss Patrick. He gripped her elbows, held her in place for an extra moment before letting her step back.
“I did. It’s over. But I…I thought you might want to know…Sonny’s being transferred today.”
Robin bit her lip, folded her arms, and looked away. “Is he?”
“We haven’t really talked about it in a while. I didn’t know if you’d want to know, or if you’d already made your peace with it all.”
“I don’t know how anyone can make peace with all that’s happened.” Robin drifted towards a set of black metal shelves and a photo that was never far away from her. One of Stone’s last good days — crowded around the table at Sonny’s penthouse, Sonny with his arm slung around Stone, Robin beaming. “Lily took this photo. I felt guilty, you know, spending time around her with how Brenda felt about everything. But she was so good to Stone.” Her fingers traced Sonny’s face. “He was a difficult man to know. I’m sure you’ve never really understood why I’d be close to him.”
“Maybe in the beginning, but you’ve told me about Stone.” Patrick sat on the arm of the sofa. “He was there for you with Stone. Someone who loved him as much as you did. And then when you were dating Jason. I’m sure it made sense at the time.”
“It’s my fault, you know, that Jason got involved with Sonny at all. Did you know that?” She glanced at him over her shoulder. “Jason found a bag of money on the docks, and I told him to take it to Sonny. Jason did that, and Sonny hired him. I think about it all the time — what if I hadn’t done that? What if I’d told him to turn it into the police?”
“Jason didn’t have to take the job—”
“You didn’t know him then. He was so desperate for anyone to see him as his own person — the Quartermaines kept treating him like a child and well, others like a damaged idiot lucky to be walking around. Sonny gave him responsibility, gave him a sense of self-worth. Worst mistake of my life.” Robin sighed, turned away from the photo. “But that doesn’t mean I wanted Sonny to end up like this, trapped inside his own body. I called Brenda — she wasn’t even surprised.”
“He lived a violent life, Robin. It’s not shocking that it would end like this. But I’m sorry.”
“So am I. Morgan and Kristina won’t remember him, and I don’t know that there are many of us left in Port Charles willing to think kindly about him. There was good in him, you know. He could be sweet. Compassionate. But cruel,” Robin murmured. “Reckless.” She cleared her throat. “Would you mind staying here for a while? I…I think I want to go to the hospital. To say goodbye, if I can.”
Nadine’s Apartment: Living Room
Johnny jerked his jacket off with one hand, the other pressing the cell to his ear. “What the hell did you get me mixed up in, Claudia?” he demanded.
At the other end of the line, his sister sounded bored — which never boded well. “I told you, John. Just do what they ask, and you can be out of it—”
“Are you kidding me? Are you insane? Do you know what he wants me to do?”
Claudia was quiet on the other line for a long moment. “I know he wanted you inside Jason’s organization, but—”
“He wants me to offer to work for him—” Johnny went to the window. Nadine didn’t have much of a view — just more apartment buildings, but he felt too confined. Too closed in. He pressed a tight fist against the window. “I’m supposed to get the security details for the Towers.”
“Okay, well, even if you wanted to do that, it would take time,” Claudia said. “So, like, do the first part, and I’ll get this handled on my end—”
“If I go to work for Jason, Dad will know, and he’d be pissed.” And Nadine would be distinctly unhappy. She could live with the baggage he brought to this situation because Johnny had been born into this life. He’d had no choice in that, but to actively be part of it, to do anything that would drag him in deeper—
She might not think he was worth protecting after all, and he’d lose her.
“What’s the alternative, John? You tell him no, and he crushes you like a bug—look, I told you I was sorry! This was never supposed to blow back on you—”
“What did you think was going to happen when you went after Sonny Corinthos?” Johnny demanded. “You did this because of me, do you think I’m an idiot? You took a shot at him, and how’d that work out? He blamed me for that. And then for Kate—I never did a damn thing to him—”
“I’m trying to keep you safe—”
“You’re trying to cover your ass—you don’t really give a damn about me or Nadine. So forgive me if I’m not taking your advice on how to get out of this. I’ll—” He stopped. “I’ll deal with it myself. Dad owes me this. He’ll make Nadine untouchable, and then those assholes can find another patsy.”
“Oh, sure, it’ll be that simple. Sometimes, John, you’re such a fucking child. I don’t know why I bother with you. Go ahead, try it your way. See how it works out.”
The line went dead, and Johnny tossed his phone aside, dragging his hands down his face. Christ, every time he turned around, someone was making his life worse. But the only card Johnny had left to play was his father.
Because if Anthony Zacchara couldn’t keep Nadine safe, no one could.
General Hospital: Sonny’s Room
Kate stood at the end of the hospital bed, her arms tightly folded as she took in the comatose form of her fiancé. Did she still get to call him that, she wondered?
He was pale, his hair disheveled, and left to curl around his temples — the way it had when they were little more than children running the streets in Bensonhurst. She’d loved him so much once.
“It looks as though our story ends abruptly once again,” Kate said, finally. “I left you to start over, to put Connie Falconieri behind me — to stop myself from following you around while you threw your life away. You wanted power, wealth, and respect. There never was much space for love.” Her throat felt scratchy. “I thought that had changed. I thought you’d learned that the power you’d craved wouldn’t take away all the darkness in your life. But here we are again, at the end of the road, and this time you’re the one leaving me. You couldn’t wait for me to wake up — you had to pursue revenge, to make sure no one thought you were weak.”
She dipped her head, took a deep breath. “I used to wonder sometimes if we could have made it work somehow. If we could have loved each other enough—that’s the one piece of good to come from all of this. I know the truth now. We were never going to be a fairy tale, were we? Sonny and Kate were as doomed as Sonny and Connie. This was always how the story ends.”
She brushed away the one tear lingering on her cheek. “I don’t know how any of this works. If you can hear me, if part of you is here, or if you’re somewhere else. I think I hope it’s somewhere else. That you’re at peace somewhere. That somehow, you and Michael have found each other again. Goodbye, Sonny.”
General Hospital: Waiting Room
It felt almost ghoulish to sit in this room, waiting his turn to sit at Sonny’s bedside and say…what exactly? Jason still didn’t know what to say to the man who had such a profound impact on his life, for better or for worse. And he wasn’t even dead. Nothing had changed in the last month. Sonny was being moved to a rehabilitation center where there was little hope of rehabilitation. He was just going further away where Jason didn’t have to admit he was avoiding his old friend.
Carly couldn’t sit still — she paced the length of the room, cracking her knuckles from time to time, pausing at the window overlooking the park, then turning back to walk towards the elevators.
At his side, Elizabeth was sitting quietly, thumbing through a magazine. She’d know what to say to Sonny, Jason thought. Maybe she’d go with him—
There was a light ding from the direction of the elevators, and the doors slid open. Robin stepped out, and Carly stopped to look at her — her one-time nemesis. Her lips thinned as she pressed them together, and the two of them seemed locked in a staring contest that only they could understand.
“This is going to be fine,” Elizabeth said, mostly under her breath. “Carly won’t start anything today—”
Jason looked at her, and she smiled faintly. “Probably won’t.”
“I, um—” Robin cleared her throat, touched her collarbone, a bit nervous. “Patrick told me they were…transferring him today. And I guess I just—I was hoping I could—could I say goodbye?”
“What, like he’s dead?” Carly snapped. “You’re coming to mourn him when you couldn’t be bothered to visit him in life? He’s not dead, so save your victim tears for someone else. This day is for people who actually loved Sonny—”
“Carly.”
Jason bit out her name in that same irritated tone he’d had the morning he’d thrown her out of Elizabeth’s room, and Carly recognized it right away. She made a face, but retreated to the chairs, slumping down in one next to Elizabeth, and yanking a magazine from the pile.
Jason ignored her, looking at Robin. “I’m sorry. I should have called, but—”
“But it’s been a lifetime since Sonny and I were in each other’s lives, I understand. Thank you. I won’t take long, I just—”
They stopped at the sound of heels and Kate appeared around the corner, her eyes dry, but her face pale. “Thank you. I—I don’t think I’ll wait—I need to go back to work. But thank you.”
“You go next,” Carly said flatly to Robin. “You have a baby to get back to. It’s not like you matter anyway. Might as well get you out of the way.”
Robin rolled her eyes and headed for the hallway.
Jason sat next to Carly, glared at her, and she huffed. “What? Did I stutter? Or lie?” She folded her arms, crossed her legs. “Don’t look at me like a disapproving parent. Robin and I hate each other. I might have softened on this one over here, but me and that one. Hell will freeze over first.”
“Thanks,” Elizabeth said, raising the magazine in front of her face. “You’re too kind.”
“Don’t look at me like that, Jason—”
“You’ll never change,” he said, with a shake of his head. “I don’t know why that surprises me after all these years.”
“Look, I don’t even have to deal with Little Miss Purity all that much now since you kicked her to the curb for ruining our lives—” She closed her mouth when he shot her a fulminating look. “I’m not apologizing,” she muttered, slinking down into her seat.
Jason dragged his hand down his face and just sighed. He returned to his seat next to Elizabeth, and she reached for his hand, squeezing it for a moment. “Let it go. Robin doesn’t care, I promise you that.”
“Yeah, well—” He exhaled slowly. “I do.” How many times had he let Carly get away with treating Robin like garbage? How many times had she gone after Elizabeth? She was never sorry about any of it, and he’d never done anything to stop it. Nothing had changed in all these years, and he hated it.
“It’ll be okay,” Elizabeth said, careful to keep her voice low so that Carly could only guess at what she was saying. “The important thing is Robin is going to get her moment, and then they’ll go back to ignoring each other.”
“Let’s hope,” he muttered.
General Hospital: Sonny’s Room
Robin sat by the bed for a long quiet moment, watching as Sonny’s chest rose and fell, watched Sonny’s heartbeat remain steady and regular on the screen on the other side of the bed.
“I had a daughter,” she said, looking at his familiar, once beloved face. His eyes were closed, his skin somewhat slack. Lifeless. Empty. She swallowed hard. “Emma Grace. She’s perfect. Healthy. We still have more tests to run for the HIV, but the odds are against it. I never thought I’d get to have this — a future, you know? Sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake…not telling Stone about my diagnosis. But most of the time, I know it’s a weight he couldn’t bear at the end.”
Robin looked down at her hands, the sight of Sonny almost too much for her to bear. “I feel like I should say I regret that we lost touch. That we weren’t close anymore. But it would be a lie, and I’m sorry for that. I could still see glimpses of that man in you, but you lost your way. These last few years, the things I’ve seen and heard — I don’t know. I just—” She exhaled slowly. “But for the man you were, for the love and kindness and strength you gave me when I could barely breathe, I’ll always be grateful.” She rose to her feet. “I hope you’re at peace, Sonny. That wherever you are, that you feel safe.”
She leaned down, kissed his forehead. “Goodbye.”
General Hospital: Waiting Room
“I’m going to call Gram and check in,” Elizabeth said, squeezing Jason’s hand. “I’ll be right back.”
Jason watched as she disappeared around a different corner, probably for the staff room on this floor for a little privacy. When she was gone, he looked at Carly who was avoiding his gaze. “It’s been almost ten years—”
“I know exactly how long it’s been,” she muttered. “Down to the damn day. Don’t tell me to forgive and forget. Isn’t it bad enough that I already have to deal with Elizabeth?”
Jason tensed. “What does that mean?”
“It means exactly what I said. I tolerate her because she’s the one you picked, and I love you. But don’t imagine that means I like her.” Carly sniffed, picked up a magazine. “It’ll be a cold day in hell before that happens.”
“I thought we agreed—”
“I’ve been very helpful and tolerant these last six weeks,” Carly interrupted. “I like her kids, and I like you. Be satisfied with that.”
“She’s never done anything to you—”
“Don’t tell me how to feel. You hate when people do that to you, so don’t you dare tell me who to give a damn about. I’ll never be friends with Elizabeth, and I hope Robin drops off a cliff immediately, setting us all free of her self-righteous—”
“It’s been ten years,” Jason repeated, exasperated. “Everything worked out—”
“You think I should forgive Robin for what she did?” Carly sat up, her eyes bright with fury. “Maybe you can, but I never will. That was my secret to tell—not hers! My life she blew up, not hers! The second she did that, she ruined everything, and I’m still dealing with it. If she’d kept her damned mouth shut, Michael would still be your son, and he’d—” She looked away, her eyes bright with tears. “He’d be yours, and he’d be awake and running around, and he’d be safe.”
Jason sighed, rubbed his forehead. “Carly—”
“Don’t tell me you were going to tell the truth—no, what she did—it changed the course of my life. It ruined it. I had to do so much damage control, and I never really got it back the way I wanted—” She shook her head, folded her arms. “If she doesn’t tell AJ the truth, then—”
“Then what, Carly? What? You don’t marry him? You don’t almost have me arrested for kidnapping? You don’t sleep with Sonny, is that what you’re saying? You’re going to blame Robin for everything you did?” Jason wanted to know, keeping his voice low and tight. “Robin left town. She wasn’t there, shoving you into Sonny’s arms. And—” he stopped. “We settled this a long time ago, Carly. What happened—it happened. And—”
And if Robin had never told AJ about Michael, then Jason would never have ended up at Jake’s that night and met Elizabeth.
“I don’t know why you have to be so angry with me,” she said, tears clinging to her lashes. “I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. I’m doing the best I can.”
“The sad thing is I actually believe that,” Jason muttered, getting to his feet, heading for the windows. Away from Carly. He just wanted to get this awful day over with and go home.
Robin came out then, her eyes rimmed with red. “Thank you, um, I appreciated that.” She flicked her eyes to Carly, glaring at the floor, then back to Jason. “You holding up okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.” Jason shoved his hands in his pockets. “How are you? The baby?”
“Good.” Her face lit up. “Perfect, actually. When I can get her to take a nap. And I bet you’ve got your hands full with those boys. The last time I saw Cameron, he was running laps around the nurse’s station.”
A smile tugged at his mouth, because he could and would talk about his sons for as long as anyone would listen. “Yeah, Jake is starting to run around now, too. They chase each other.”
“I love that. For both of you. Do me a favor?” Robin asked.
“Anything.”
“Let Elizabeth take care of you. I know you always say you don’t need anything,” Robin said, when Jason just sighed. “But it’s not true. And she loves you.” She leaned in, hugged him. He hugged her back, wishing he could find a way to apologize for all the ways he’d been wrong before, but knowing the time when his apologies would have mattered was long past. “And forgive yourself,” she murmured, drawing back. Their eyes met. “Forgive yourself for being the last one standing. You take on too much, Jason. Don’t—don’t let what happened to Sonny be one more weight. This was never your fault.”
“Hate to break this little scene up,” Carly said, and the two of them looked over at her. “I guess I’ll go take my turn. Not that you’d notice if I was gone.” With a roll of her eyes, she left.
Robin wrinkled her nose. “Still a joy, isn’t she?”
“I’m sorry. For her. For all of it.”
“You don’t have to apologize to me. Carly and I will hate each other until the world ends.” Her lips twitched. “And probably after that, too.”
Warehouse: Pier
“Do you have any idea how much these shoes cost me?” Claudia demanded as she strode through the cargo entrance to the rest of the building. “Jimmy Choos are not supposed to be trekking through the muck and grime—”
“Let me know when you’ve finished complaining,” Jerry murmured, studying his phone. “And I’ll start listening—”
“I told you to give me more time with my brother. I told you that it’s not exactly easy to make him understand why he has to do this, but men never listen. It’s always on your timetable and not about realistic expectations—”
“Did I give you the impression that you were some sort of equal partner?” Jerry interrupted, and Claudia closed her mouth. “I’m truly sorry if you thought you had some sort of say in this. You were a conduit, my dear Claudia, but since you couldn’t get it done, I don’t see a use for you any longer.”
Her cheeks drained of color, and she swallowed hard. A rare sign of vulnerability from the tough as nails bitch. “What does that mean? What—”
“Oh, don’t worry. You still have all the armor that your daddy has bestowed upon you.” Jerry snapped his phone closed, smiled at her. “You and your brother. And for the moment, that wife of his. I wouldn’t get anywhere if I terminated either of you. You are the leverage, after all, my darling. You and all the lovely secrets you possess.”
“Johnny will do what you need him to do,” Claudia said. “You just have to give him some time to understand that this is the only way. It’s not easy for him to betray someone who’s never hurt him, okay? And if this were about Sonny, okay, he’d do it in a heartbeat. But Jason has protected him.”
“And his loyalty is commendable, to be sure. Don’t worry. Shortly, your brother will learn just how closely I can strike at him.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Ah, a better question would be—what have I already done?” Jerry tipped his head. “You’ll know soon enough, and when you do—you’ll remind dear baby brother that I can do so much worse. The wife. Does he care for her, do you think?”
Claudia swallowed hard, looked away, staring at the dirty gray lake water where it lapped against the wooden posts of the pier. “Yeah, he does.”
“Do you think the pretty nurse will think kindly of him when she learns he’s protecting a child murderer?”
She closed her eyes, looked vaguely ill. “He’s not dead.”
“Semantics, darling. Sweet Nadine was Michael Corinthos’ nurse. Did you know that? How fortunate for me, really. If he wants to keep his wife safe and maintain her good opinion of him, well, I suppose we’ll see what your little brother is made of, won’t we?”
No comments yet