But if you close your eyes
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes
Does it almost feel like
You’ve been here before?
– Pompeii, Bastille

---

Thursday, September 26, 2002 

Queen of Angels: Anteroom

Gia hesitated when she stepped over the threshold of the church. She could see through the main doors that Elizabeth and Bobbie were at the front of the chapel, speaking quietly with Father Coates before the memorial.

But Emily was here. In this room. With her brother and Courtney.

They turned at her entrance. Courtney smiled at her, a sad smile, but they were the only ones who weren’t…really reeling from this loss. Jason had been on the peripheries of their lives, not a central character.

Emily hesitated, then broke away from the pair to approach Gia. Her eyes swollen and red, she said in a rough voice, “Do you have a minute to talk?”

“Sure,” Gia said. And if Emily wanted to throw shade at her, read her to filth for her past actions—whatever Emily needed to do in this moment, Gia would let her.

Gia had an older brother who was at the center of her universe too, after all.

“I know…” Emily said after they had gone to the courtyard. She paused. “I know we’ve had our differences. That—that we’ve never been…friendly, but, um…” Her voice broke. “I know you and Elizabeth are close now. And that you’ve been here in a way this year that I don’t know if I could have.”

“Emily, listen—”

“No, no just—” Emily took a deep breath. “When Lucky died, we all…we all drowned. And we couldn’t save each other. We didn’t—we should have clung to one another, but we just couldn’t. We didn’t lose him in the same way, and maybe we were just too young to know how to help each other.” She cleared her throat. “But it helped for Elizabeth to have someone who didn’t lose him that way—but had known him all the same—it helped her. My brother—” Emily sucked in a deep breath. “Oh, God.”

“Hey, listen—” Gia touched her shoulder. “Listen,” she repeated. “I’m here for Liz, no questions. Because she’s been here for me. But—I can be here for you. I think about losing Marcus, and even though he literally annoys me more than anyone on Earth, if I lost him, I would lose my center. I would lose my goddamn mind. So, listen. Yeah, I’m here for Liz. And we’ve never been friends, you and me. But that was then. This is now.”

“I just—I can’t—I can’t stop thinking—I always knew it would be this way. I knew it,” Emily said fiercely. “I knew he’d been shot before. He’s almost died. But I didn’t—I always thought—I thought he was Superman. That bullets couldn’t break him. And they did. They took him from the world, and he was just—he was just—Elizabeth sounded happy when we talked. Jason sounded happy. They were happy. What kind of world does this—”

Her face crumbled, and the tears Emily had been holding back broke though. Gia embraced her, her old enemy, this girl she’d never been kind to, and held her while she sobbed.

Queen of Angels: Chapel

“Mama.”

Bobbie turned away from Elizabeth at the sound of her daughter’s voice and winced. “Carly.”

“I—” Carly’s face was swollen as if she had done nothing but cry since she’d heard the news. “I just—” She looked at Elizabeth who hadn’t moved since Carly’s approach.

Elizabeth was so fragile, so brittle—Bobbie took her daughter’s elbow and started to steer her away. “I just wanted to tell her I was—”

“There is nothing you could say to Elizabeth right now that would make this go away.” Bobbie shook her head. “I don’t know what you said to him that day, what put this all in motion, but—”

“Mama, I—” Carly closed her eyes and said flatly, “You’re blaming me.”

“I’m blaming the man who shot him,” Bobbie retorted. “I’m blaming Sonny Corinthos for introducing him to this life. Jason for staying. I’m blaming myself. But if you said something to him, and he went to that warehouse because of you, then, yes, Carly, I blame you.”

“Of course you do.” And just like that the grief slid from Carly’s expression. The distaste. The bitterness. The venom. It was back. “You loved Jason more than me. Elizabeth. They’re your family. Not me.”

“I made you my family when you didn’t give me a reason to.” Bobbie sliced her hand through the air. “But, yes, Jason and Elizabeth are part of my family, too.” Her eyes softened just a bit as she took in the misery behind Carly’s anger.

“I know you feel like you’ve never measured up. Not to BJ. Not to Robin. Elizabeth is not competition for your place in my life. Or your place in Jason’s life. And I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel that way. You are my daughter, and I love you, Carly. But you have to stop this.”

“I don’t know how—” She swallowed her sobs. “Because, oh, God, it is my fault, and I don’t know if I can live with that.”

“And I don’t know if I can help you with that. Not anymore. I have to think about Michael. And about my family. I can’t make you a better person, Carly. That will be up to you.”

——

Elizabeth floated through the memorial. It was short—Jason never would have wanted anything elaborate or complicated. Father Coates said a few words, but no one got up to speak. Emily tried, but she was crying too hard, and Ned and AJ had to carry her back to her seat.

Elizabeth wanted to—God, she nearly stood. But what she had to say about Jason wasn’t for anyone else’s ears. It was just for her own.

Sonny had sat down next to her before the service had begun, and she had forgotten she was angry at him. Forgotten that she blamed him. She just let him sit there and took solace in the fact that he had loved Jason, too. The anger, the bitterness…that could wait.

She sat between Bobbie and Sonny, her hands clasped tightly in Bobbie’s, Sonny’s arm around her shoulder. And just…floated.

His casket was up there, his photograph was next to it. He was smiling in it—a photo Bobbie had said was from one of the times he had gone to the Nurse’s Ball with Robin, who had not flown in from Paris, though Bobbie said she had called. Had tried to get away.

These were just facts to Elizabeth now. Just pieces of a life she couldn’t seem to grasp.

Carly was sitting in the back. Elizabeth could see Monica, Lila, and Emily in the front pew on the other side. AJ and Courtney were behind Elizabeth and Bobbie. Taggert and Gia were sitting quietly a few rows in front of Carly. Alan, Ned, and Edward behind their family. Lucky and Nikolas were across from Taggert and Gia.

After Father Coates closed the prayers, the Quartermaines shuffled past the coffin. Saying their last respects. Monica’s knees buckled, but Alan kept her upright and helped her back to her seat.

Emily didn’t leave her seat, and God, Elizabeth couldn’t bring herself to do it either.

She couldn’t look at the coffin. Couldn’t accept that Jason was inside of it.

“I can’t stand it,” she murmured, her voice breaking after Bobbie had gone up to talk to Edward and Lila. “He’s trapped in there. We should—we should have had him cremated, Sonny. We-we did it wrong. He should be free. Can we—” She sucked in a breath, because it hurt so much to think about it. But she had to do it.

Had to do right by him. “I want—can we talk to the Quartermaines? Or is it you? I don’t even know who did any of this. We should—he needs to be free, Sonny. Please, please—”

“Elizabeth—” Sonny closed his eyes, bowed his head, and she felt like a horrible villain. This was Sonny’s best friend Elizabeth was talking about. Sonny’s brother.

“I—I’m sorry—”

“No, No, don’t.” Sonny got to his feet. “But you’re right. It’s wrong.” He looked over, his eyes wet. “I did it all wrong,” he said hoarsely. “It’s—come back to the penthouse with me. We can—let’s talk about it, okay?”

“I—” Elizabeth swallowed, let Sonny pull her to her feet. “I’m supposed to go to the Quartermaines, but—” She took a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. I can’t stand it anymore. I don’t want to go to the cemetery tomorrow and bury him. I-I can’t. It’s not too late, is it?”

“No.” Sonny smoothed his hand down her back as they approached Emily, who had been joined by Courtney and Bobbie. “No, it’s not too late.”

“I know there’s a reception at the mansion,” Elizabeth told her friends, “but Sonny—Sonny asked me to come to the penthouse.”

“A quiet dinner, maybe…just…some…quiet,” Sonny repeated.

“Of course,” Bobbie murmured, pressing a kiss to Elizabeth’s forehead. “Call me, okay, sweetheart?”

“I’m sorry, Em,” Elizabeth began.

“Hey—” Emily shook her head. “You have to do what’s right for you. I wanna be surrounded by family, but you don’t have to want that. Go be with Sonny. Jason—” She looked at Sonny. “Jason loved you so much.”

“I know,” Sonny murmured, his voice tight. “Let’s get going before the press gets it in their head to follow us.”

Limo

Elizabeth closed her eyes, leaning back against the smooth leather of the back seat. “I’ve been so angry at you.”

“Elizabeth—”

She continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “But I should have thought about you. That you were worried, too. I shouldn’t have shut you out—or let you shut me out—”

“Elizabeth…” Across from her, Sonny just shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Listen. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of this. God, Elizabeth, I never wanted you hurt again. You know that—”

“I know.” Elizabeth blinked as she realized they had driven longer than it would have normally taken to travel from the Queen of Angels to Harborview Towers. “Are we going in circles or something? Are we trying to lose the press?”

“Oh. No.” Sonny felt the car slow. “Listen to me,” he said, leaning forward. “No matter what you think going forward, Elizabeth, you matter to me. You are part of my family. You have been part of my family longer than my own sister—”

“Sonny—”

“And I know that these last few weeks have been devastating. That you—I know how much you’re hurting. And I want to make that go away for you. But you know…you knew what kind of life Jason and I—what our business is. Jason told me you knew. I know that knowing is different from being in the middle of it, but we just—sometimes we have to make choices that we hate. To protect everyone.” The car started to ride over gravel, the rocks crunching beneath the tires until it came to a complete stop.”

Elizabeth frowned at him. “Sonny, what’s going on—” She frowned when Max opened the car door.

She stepped outside, still frowning as she took in the trees around them, the simple stone English-style cottage set back against the lake. “Sonny—Are we trying to avoid the press?”

This time, Sonny nodded. “Yeah. Something like that. Let’s just…let’s go inside.”

Inside the house, Elizabeth frowned when she saw Johnny O’Brien lounging on a sofa, irritated with a magazine in his hands, flexing his left arm as if it was sore. “What’s going on?” she asked.

“Johnny was with Jason that night,” Sonny said. He looked at her now, and his expression was empty. Stony. “Jason was shot twice, and Johnny kept him alive until we got him to this safe house. There’s a medical facility here.”

Elizabeth opened her mouth, then closed it. “Jason…was alive when he left the—I don’t understand—” Except she thought…maybe she did and everything inside her was screaming.

“I kept him sedated for the first week because I knew he would want to see you. And it was hell keeping him here the next two weeks once we finally stopped—”

“Just stop—” Elizabeth held up her hands, shook her head. “What…what is happening right now? What do you mean you kept him sedated—what the hell, Sonny—”

“Sonny,” Johnny said, slowly, “why is she dressed like she’s coming back from a funeral?”

Sonny closed his eyes. “Elizabeth, Jason is in the back. He’s…he was shot. He almost died, that wasn’t a lie. It was touch and go. The blood loss was severe—”

“Oh my God, oh my God, you faked his death—” She pressed her fist to her mouth. Looked at Johnny. “You—you lied. You knew where he was. You knew he was okay, and oh, God, you arranged for a body—”

“A body—” Johnny’s eyes bulged. “Fuck off, Sonny. What did you do?”

“You didn’t know—” Elizabeth’s eyes started to burn from the tears. “What—”

“Jason never would have let that—” But Johnny shut his mouth.

“Listen to me, this was all me.” Sonny planted a hand against his chest. “I lied to you. I put the plan in motion. And I got reason to believe it’s working, okay? And it only works if Jason doesn’t know.”

“W-What?” Elizabeth sputtered. “What are you talking about?” She shook her head. She had to think. Had to get through this. Had to understand. “Jason didn’t fake his death. You did it. You put us through this for business—”

“A week ago, before the body was found, we caught two men lying in wait at your studio,” Sonny said bluntly. “They did not believe Jason was hurt badly enough to get what they wanted from me, so they decided they would force their hand. Taking you would have forced Jason to come out of hiding.”

Elizabeth pressed her trembling lips together. “And if I went back there—if I told him—”

“He’s not recovered enough to come back yet,” Sonny said. “And you know the cops. They’re crawling all over this. But yeah, he finds out what’s happening, he’ll want to end it, and he’ll put his recovery in jeopardy.”

“Sonny,” Johnny muttered. “C’mon—”

“He knows that you didn’t know. He’s pissed at me for that, too. It was all I could to convince him to wait. To give me time to solve this. But you cannot tell him—”

“You’ve got a lot of nerve asking for me for anything right now,” she hissed. “For three weeks, I have been living in a nightmare. For the past week, I’ve been grieving my future with him, and you’re here, telling me that it was all a lie. That none of it was real—”

“I did what I had to do to protect you,” Sonny said. “I never wanted to hurt you, but I couldn’t avoid it. If they had taken you, Elizabeth—” He shook his head. “I know what you’ve been through. So yeah, I put you through this because I didn’t want something worse.”

She closed her eyes. “Then why am I here today?”

“Because Jason threatened to walk to town again on his own to find transportation if Sonny didn’t bring you,” Johnny said bluntly. “And this time, Sonny couldn’t talk him out of it.”

“Why is he back there? He would have heard the car—heard us talking—it’s not that big a house—”

“The doctor drugged him again,” Johnny muttered. “Said Jason was moving around too much. He ripped his stitches when he was yelling at Sonny yesterday—”

Sonny winced. “Johnny—” He sighed. “He’ll be coming out of it soon. That’s why I asked you to come to the penthouse for dinner. You can stay for a while. Over night.” Sonny looked at Max who was standing impassively at the door, and Elizabeth noticed the bag in his hands for the first time. “We brought some things for you to change into—”

“So Jason doesn’t see my black dress and wonder?” Elizabeth said, acidly. “You kept him drugged and confined to a room for three weeks, Sonny. You lied to everyone in his life that he loves. You—you planted a body that was so decomposed we had to have a closed casket, and now you want me to go into that room and keep lying to him. To the man I love—” She shook her head. “And if I don’t, it’ll just prove you right, won’t it?”

Sonny hesitated. “Elizabeth—”

“You may tell yourself that you were just protecting me, but you were testing me. And at some point, I must have failed, right? Was it that first night? When I answered Taggert’s questions? When I admitted I knew more than I should? When exactly did I let you down, Sonny?”

“You didn’t—”

“If I go in that room, and I tell him the truth, and I tell him what you’ve done to his life, to me—that’ll just make you right. You’ll just feel justified that I’m a little girl who doesn’t understand Jason or his life. You lied to me, Sonny. And you, more than anyone else, know what you’re asking of me.” She shook her head. “I’m not giving you the satisfaction. I’ll keep your fucking secret. Because I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to be the one to tell him what you’ve done. I can’t break his heart. That’ll have to be you.”

She turned away from him, turned her back and looked at Johnny, who looked supremely uncomfortable. “Take me to him. I want—” Her voice broke. “I need to see him. And I need him to see me when he wakes up. So, show me where to change, so I can be with Jason.”

Johnny remained silent as he showed Elizabeth to a bathroom where she quickly shed her black dress and pulled on a pair of jeans and long-sleeved shirt. She shoved the dress into the duffel bag and followed Johnny to a closed door.

“He’s still out of it,” Johnny told her with a sigh. “It was the only way to keep him still long enough to put the stitches back in. He really doesn’t know—I’m sorry—”

“It’s fine,” she said with a shake of her head. “I just—” She swallowed hard. “I need to see him. I can’t believe it until I see him.”

“He’s going to kill Sonny,” Johnny muttered but he left her alone at the door and returned to the front of the house.

Elizabeth stared at the door for a long moment before pushing it open.

The room was in shadows—the only light from the setting sun peeking through the white blinds stretched across a bay window. It was a plain room with bare walls, a wooden dresser and a pair of matching nightstands flanking a wide double bed.

And in that bed, even in the dim light, she could see that Jason was stretched out, his eyes closed, his face turned slightly towards her.

His chest gently rising and falling as he slept.

He was alive. He was breathing.

She stifled the sob that bubbled up in her throat, biting hard on her fist. Jason was shirtless, so the white bandages stretched across his chest were stark against the gray comforter and sheets, one affixed high on his left shoulder, and the other was lower, closer to the heart.

How close had she come to losing him? She should have been here. Taking care of him. Making sure he ate. That he didn’t move.

Elizabeth crept forward, her bare feet making little sound on the threadbare carpet covering the floor. She perched on the other side of the bed, just staring at him.

He didn’t stir when the mattress dipped—and she knew that was from the drugs. He was such a light sleeper—almost as if the fluttering of her eyelids in the morning was enough to wake him. But he slept on even as Elizabeth gingerly stretched out on her side next to him, reached for his hand and laced her fingers in his.

He was alive. Everything else could wait.

Miami, Florida

Ruiz Compound: Hector’s Study

Zander was still pissed when he received the summons to meet with Ruiz and Alcazar as soon his flight landed at the local airport. He’d been sent to Port Charles to get an on the ground report from Roscoe and Nico, and he was starting to resent playing the middle man. When the hell was he going to have something show for this?

“The PCPD tests came in while I was there,” Zander said. He poured himself his own drink at Hector’s mini bar and didn’t bother to wait until he was offered a seat. “DNA confirms it was Morgan in the harbor.”

“How did he end up there?” Hector demanded. “Why did it take so long—”

“No way to know for sure. His is the only body that surfaced. Nico told me that no one’s seen Johnny O’Brien since the night Jason went missing either.” Zander shrugged. “Roscoe sent two guys. One came back—all he said was that Morgan has been shot, that it all went to hell. Does it matter?”

“I don’t like loose ends,” Alcazar murmured. “And I don’t like unexplained bodies. The body was decomposed?”

“Two weeks in the Port Charles harbor will do that.”

“Still.” Alcazar lifted a shoulder, took his cigar from his mouth and examined the tip. “It’s interesting that of the men unaccounted for—only Morgan showed up. And it was Morgan who was the target.”

Zander squinted. He hadn’t thought about it that way. “You think it’s a lie?”

“Does Sonny have the connections to pull that off?” Hector asked. “How hard it would it be? Bribe a few officials. Grease a few hands. Find a corpse that looks similar in build—”

“Nico and Roscoe didn’t seem to question it,” Zander said. “They were planning to grab Elizabeth Webber outside her studio last week, but the guys never came back. They figured Corinthos had someone on her.”

“Trying to draw Morgan out of hiding.” Alcazar looked at Hector. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know,” Hector admitted. “It’s…a pretty ballsy move to fake Morgan’s death. It’s not like he’s a standard soldier. Doesn’t he have connections in the city?”

“Yeah.” Zander ignored the pressure in his chest, the guilt swimming inside over Emily. “He doesn’t claim the Quartermaines, but they claim him. But I saw his girlfriend—Elizabeth Webber thinks he’s dead. And he’s not gonna lie to her.”

“Maybe he’s not lying to her.” Alcazar tapped the ashes of cigar into a stone tray on the edge of Hector’s desk. “And wouldn’t that be interesting if Corinthos was doing this on his own?”

“Why would that be interesting?” Zander said. “We wanted Morgan dead—”

“I wanted to destroy Sonny Corinthos,” Alcazar corrected. “Morgan is incidental. You told me I’d have to get past Morgan to get to him. If Corinthos went ahead and faked Morgan’s death without even telling the Webber girl—well, I suppose we’ll just see how much blind loyalty he has for his boss.”

“Roscoe and Nico are planning a hit next week,” Zander said after a moment, because he didn’t know what the hell Alcazar was looking for here. It was as if Alcazar didn’t mind that the entire ambush might have failed—as if toying with Sonny Corinthos was nearly as much fun as actually killing him.

What the hell was his game?

“Odds are it will fail,” Hector told Alcazar. “Neither of them is all that bright. But you might get lucky. All you need is one bullet to hit its mark.”

“That’s what I’m counting on.” Alcazar shrugged. “But if this doesn’t work, we’ll just find another way to get at Corinthos. He’s not invincible.”

Safe House: Bedroom

He’d been drugged again.

Jason woke with a groggy groan as he turned his face into the pillow, irritated with the sluggish way his muscles responded to his brain’s commands to move.

He remembered arguing with Johnny—a pain in his chest—blood—and then the doctor—he must have ripped his stitches, because his chest felt sorer than it had in a few days.

He forced his eyes open and then turned his head sharply—someone else was in the room—

Elizabeth lay beside him, one hand on the pillow, another laying between them, just inches from his hand. He stared at her for a long moment, trying to clear his head. Had she been here before they drugged him? No. No, she wouldn’t have let them—

He turned his head to the other side where a digital clock told him it was nearly seven. Judging from the lack of light coming from the windows, it was evening.

Jason winced as he slowly sat up, pressing a hand to his chest, swinging his legs over the side. He had to start moving. Had to get up.

“Jason—” Elizabeth’s voice was slurred and then she jackknifed into a sitting position. Even in the shadowed room, he could see the white of her eyes. “Jason?”

“Hey…” he switched on the lamp on the night stand. “Hey. I’m right here.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth turned to him, her eyes wet with tears. She reached out, her fingers brushing his shoulder. “You’re real. I’m awake? I’m really here?”

“You are.” Jason scowled as he took in the dark circles under her eyes. He took her wrist in his hand—and was startled to find that it seemed thinner than it had the last time he’d seen her. “I’m sorry. I know Sonny didn’t…really tell you anything.”

“Um.” Elizabeth shoved her hair out of her face and looked away. “No.” Her voice trembled. “I thought…you were hurt. But I just—he didn’t tell me for sure.”

“I didn’t know,” he said. “I wouldn’t have done that to you, Elizabeth. You know that, don’t you? I—I don’t really remember what happened, but I know I asked for you.”

“Yeah, Johnny said something about that.

“Johnny?” Jason said with some irritation. “Sonny didn’t talk to you last week?” Damn it.

“No. I guess he was busy with other things,” she said bitterly. She drew her hand back. “Should you be sitting up? Johnny said you ripped your stitches.”

She hurried out of the bed, and around to his side to check on him and the bandages. Her fingers slid over the white gauze. “Sonny said it was…that it was close.”

“I guess. I don’t know. They kept me sedated for a while.” Jason caught her hand as she tried to push him back into a prone position. “Hey. Talk to me. I know this was hard—”

“It’s—” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “It was. But it’s over. And you’re okay. And I can see you’re okay. That helps.” She sucked in a deep breath. “I’m okay.”

“You’re not,” he said with a shake of his head. “C’mon—”

“I’m better than I was this morning,” she replied. “I slept, too. For a few hours. The longest since…Bobbie wanted Tony to give me something to sleep, but I refused. Because I hate the way it makes me feel, so I haven’t—” Elizabeth bit her lip. “I’ll be okay, Jason. Now that I know you’re—okay.”

She stumbled over the last word, and he narrowed his eyes, because there was something in the jerky movements of her hands—the way she wouldn’t quite look at him—something else was going on.

But she looked exhausted, and Jason didn’t want her to worry about him. So, he laid back on the bed and scooted over so that there was space on his right side. “Come here.”

Elizabeth stretched out next to him and gingerly laid her cheek against his shoulder as his arm came around to cradle her. “I love you,” she murmured.

“I love you, too.” He pressed his lips to the top of her head. “Let’s just…lay here.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” she said, her voice still wobbling. “I missed you.” Her shoulders jerked, and he heard the sob that slid past her lips. “I’m sorry—” Elizabeth started to pull back, but he tightened his hold and held her while she cried quietly.

Elm Street

It was early morning when the limo pulled up in front of Bobbie’s building. Elizabeth had not spoken a word to Sonny since leaving Jason that morning and getting into the car. She had refused an offer of coffee and breakfast, climbed into the car, and the thirty-minute drive had been nothing but stony silence.

“Elizabeth, I can’t let you go like this.” Sonny stopped her from exiting the limo, placing a hand over hers as she reached for the handle. “Please.”

“You know what hurts even more than knowing you didn’t trust me to do right by Jason?” Elizabeth said softly, staring straight ahead. “It’s that…I thought you understood. I didn’t want to be Robin—”

“You’re not—”

“You asked me to lie to Jason. And I did. And now I am going back to my life to live a lie that I know hurts the people I care about.” Elizabeth arched her brow. “Robin walked around for a year pretending Jason had cheated on her, that Michael wasn’t AJ’s son. And she did it because Jason had promised Carly. She lied to the Quartermaines. She was humiliated. And it broke her.”

“Elizabeth—”

“Emily is my best friend. Bobbie is like a mother to me. They are grieving beyond words, Sonny, and I can’t take that away. And when they do find out the truth, what happens to me? Do you think for one second they’re going to think I didn’t know?”

Sonny closed his eyes. “It’s just—it got so complicated—”

“You made me Robin. Even if I had been told the truth, you did the one thing I begged Jason not to do weeks ago.” Tears burned her eyes as she looked out the tinted window. Up at the safety of her apartment. “And you…put me through hell. You let me think he was dead, Sonny. A week after I poured my heart out to you about all of this…you did this to me.  I didn’t want to be broken again, Sonny. And you shattered me.”

She folded her arms tightly across her chest, trying to chase the chill that had set into her bones. “You broke apart my world, and you think bringing me to see him yesterday glued the pieces back together.”

“I—I thought it would help—”

“Every time I put myself back together, I feel a little more damaged,” she murmured. “And you knew that. I told you that.”

“Elizabeth—”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

Elizabeth & Gia’s Apartment: Living Room

Gia was already awake, sipping a cup of coffee when Elizabeth walked through the door that morning. Her best friend blinked at her, straightening. “Hey. I got your message about not coming home—”

“He’s alive.”

She didn’t even know she was going to say it until the words spilled out of her lips. She had to lie to Jason. She had to lie to everyone in her life who loved her.

But she just wanted one person that she could be herself with.

Gia slowly set the coffee cup down and just stared at her. “Jason is alive,” she repeated. She got to her feet. “Are…are you sure you just didn’t—” She shook her head. “Stupid question. Of course you’re sure.”

Elizabeth nodded. And she swayed, falling to her knees. Sucking in deep breaths. Struggling to keep herself from blacking out.

Had it just been hitting her? Had it just been sinking in? Jason was alive.

It was a lie.

Gia came to her side, helped her to sit on the sofa. “Hey, hey—”

“I didn’t know. I didn’t know, I swear to God, I didn’t know—”

“Of course you didn’t know,” Gia said sharply. “Elizabeth—”

“Sonny—he lied to me. He lied to Jason. He doesn’t know either.”

“What does that mean?”

“Jason doesn’t know Sonny faked his death.” Elizabeth pressed her hands to her eyes. “And Sonny—I had to lie to Jason.  Oh, God, I lied to him. I didn’t tell him. He made me a liar again.” Her voice broke. “I don’t want to be a liar anymore.”

Oh yeah everything’s all wrong yeah
Everything’s all wrong yeah
Stranger than your sympathy
I take these things so I don’t feel
And all these thoughts from the inside out
Now my head’s been filled with doubt
– Sympathy, Goo Goo Dolls

---

 Friday, September 20, 2002

 Quartermaine Mansion: Foyer

Courtney closed her cell phone and stared at it for a long moment. She hated this. She hated every minute of this.

Michael had cried until he’d decided that Jason would come back like his mommy—and how much longer until he could talk to his mother? AJ had tried to keep it together. Had wanted to check in on his family, so they’d packed Michael up and come to the mansion.

But AJ wasn’t letting it out. Wasn’t talking to her. Wasn’t talking to anyone really. Just sitting with his grandmother in the garden today, sharing old stories of Jason. Alan and Monica had gone to work, trying to be normal.

Trying to forget.

And Courtney wasn’t really sure what she was supposed to be doing here.

“Courtney?”

She turned to find Ned stepping out of the foyer. “Oh. Hey. What’s—what’s up?” She tucked her phone in her back pocket. “Do you guys need anything? I can—”

“We’re okay.” He closed the door behind him. “I left AJ and Grandmother out there, so I can check on Grandfather, but I overheard you on the phone with Gia. I didn’t want to intrude.”

“Oh. No, it’s okay.” Courtney bit her lip. “Gia’s just worried. Elizabeth has been a lot like Alan and Monica since Jason went missing. She was trying to keep breathing, to stop herself from thinking the worst, but now the worst has happened—” She stopped. “I’m rambling.”

“You’re worried about AJ. And I imagine you’re pretty worried about Elizabeth.” Ned folded his arms. “It hasn’t hit him yet, you know? This summer—I think he came as close as he ever probably would to having his brother back and that’s…” Ned looked away. “It’s gone. I have a little brother, too. He’s much younger than me, but I love him. I can’t imagine—” He shook his head.

“I figure it’s gotta be harder for you guys,” Courtney said after a moment. “I mean, it’s not even the first time you’ve lost Jason.”

Ned nodded. “Yeah, I think that’s—that’s what makes this so awful. We lost Jason Quartermaine, and God, I don’t think we ever let Jason Morgan forget it. He ran away from this family because of it. And a lot of other reasons, but that was part of it. You know…” He rubbed his chest absently. “We told ourselves it was a matter of time. He made his choices, this was how it was supposed to be—we all expected him to die violently—” His voice failed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Courtney folded her arms tightly under her breath. “I didn’t—I only know Jason through AJ and Elizabeth, so I’m sad. But it’s for you guys. And for her. Because he seemed like a nice guy. And even if he had a dangerous lifestyle, it doesn’t make it easier for the people who loved him.”

“No.” Ned exhaled slowly. “No, it doesn’t. Have you spoken to Elizabeth? Grandmother asked about her—”

“She’s…managing,” Courtney said. “Gia’s with her. I just…I don’t know how she’s going to do this. He just…he just asked her to move in with him. She was so happy—” Her voice broke. “Sorry. It’s not even—this just sucks.”

“Yeah, yeah it does.” Ned touched her shoulder lightly. “For what it’s worth, it gives my grandmother comfort knowing he was happy at the end. Elizabeth was good for him, and I’m just sorry they didn’t get to see where it would go. You let me know if she needs anything, all right?”

“Yeah, thanks Ned.”

“And don’t worry about Junior. He’s done a lot of work in the last year or so. He’s battled his demons—I’m not saying he’s won completely, but he’s…. settled. You gave him that, Courtney—”

She shook her head. “He likes to say that, too, but I’m not some kind of miracle. I’m just a girl who rushed into marriage with a man she barely knew on a hope and prayer. We both got lucky it’s working. But Jason told him—he told him at the chip ceremony that AJ did the work. He’s the one that didn’t take a drink.” Her lip trembled. “It meant the world to him that Jason was there, but to say that—God, I don’t think Jason ever knew what he did for AJ that night.”

Ned dipped his head and took another deep breath. “They were so close once. I like to think they could have been again.” He cleared his throat. “I should check on Grandfather.”

Sunday, September 22, 2002

Quartermaine Mansion: Foyer

Elizabeth smiled briefly at Alice, the maid, who directed her to the garden where Lila, Courtney, and Emily were having tea.

And then she couldn’t quite bring herself to cross through the family room out onto the terrace and into the garden.

Because until now, she had been able to stay in a bubble, inside her own world at the Brownstone with Bobbie and Gia.

But she wasn’t the only person who had lost Jason, and she would have to share her pain with others. She had to, because hiding her grief and running from it three years ago had been the wrong choice.

“Elizabeth?”

She turned to find AJ emerging from the dining room. “Oh. Hey.”

“Hey.” He approached her, his hands in his pockets. “I won’t ask how you’re doing. It’s a stupid question, and—I can see it.”

“Yeah?” Elizabeth asked with a sigh. “Am I that transparent?”

“You’re thinking about how to keep it together for Grandmother and my sister. So that Courtney doesn’t have to worry about you, too. Or am I just…projecting?” He shrugged. “Because what’s what I’ve been doing since the second—” AJ looked down. “Anyway. I wanted to call, but Courtney said you were mostly…keeping to yourself.”

“Yeah, for the last two days.” Elizabeth crossed her arms, closed her eyes. “I fell asleep for the first time last night. Bobbie wanted to have Tony give me a prescription for something, but I didn’t want to close my eyes. I didn’t want to wake up in a world and know—I could lie to myself when he was just missing. But I can’t now.”

Her eyes burned as the first tear slid down her cheek. “He’s not here, and I just—I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. How to breathe. I guess it doesn’t matter, because I keep doing it. But it’s like every breath I take is…. a shock. How can I breathe without him?”

Elizabeth wiped her tears as AJ said nothing. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—I’m okay. I mean, I’m not. I’m…managing—”

“There were a couple of moments there that I thought…” AJ said slowly, “this summer…I mean…I thought if Jason and I had enough time…maybe we could be brothers again. It was a stupid dream, and I know he’d never claim me that way. But I thought it. And I just—it’s never gonna happen now. He’s my little brother and he’s gone, and I can’t seem to wrap my head around it.”

“I know. I’ve been through this. I know what the shock feels like, but somehow—” She shook her head. “It still feels brand-new.” She managed a short laugh. “My grandmother called this morning. She…she called a few days ago, too, but I ignored it. I almost ignored it again this morning, but for some reason, I wanted to hear her voice, and you know what she said? She said…it was hard to believe it right now, but that there would someone else someday. I mean, hadn’t I learned that after Lucky was gone?”

“God.” Elizabeth dug her heels into her eyes. “Like it’s the same. I was a teenager. This—this is different. This—I don’t know how to explain it. She, of all people, ought to know you can’t compare grief.”

She exhaled slowly. “I should get out to the garden before they send a search party.” She hesitated. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even ask about Michael—”

AJ shrugged. “We talked to a counselor yesterday. Right now, Michael is convinced it’s going to be like Carly.” He rubbed his temple with his thumb. “That we’re all just mistaken. It’ll sink in for him. Or it won’t. He’s almost six, but…”

“One day, he won’t even remember Jason,” Elizabeth murmured. Her chest ached, and she just wanted to go home. To curl up in her bed, draw the curtain, and ignore the world.

But that wouldn’t solve anything. Wouldn’t make it better.

“God, I hate knowing that’s true.” AJ cleared his throat, looked away as his eyes glittered. “You need anything, Liz. You just let me know.”

Quartermaine Mansion: Terrace

Emily’s eyes were swollen and rimmed with red, while Lila was clutching a handkerchief in her hand. Courtney was quiet, solemn.

And Elizabeth wanted to be anywhere else.

“Elizabeth.” Her best friend rose to her feet and crossed to the doorway. “Oh, God.”

“Hey.” Elizabeth closed her eyes, struggled to keep back the flood of tears that threatened to swallow her whole. She had to get through this moment. Had to get through this day.

She clung to Emily for just a moment before stepping back. “It’s good to see you but I wish it were for any other reason.”

“Yeah.” Emily swallowed as they sat down on the long iron bench adjacent to Lila’s wheel chair.

“Mrs. Quartermaine,” Elizabeth said as she took one of Lila’s delicate hands in hers. “Hey.”

“Oh, my darling—” Lila’s voice was thin and shaky. “Thank you for coming. I cannot imagine—” She closed her eyes. “I just cannot accept any of this is real.”

Elizabeth dragged the heel of her hand under her eyes, sweeping away her tears. “I know. I keep thinking it’s a nightmare I’m gonna wake up from, but…then I realize it’s not.”

“I talked to him just a few weeks ago—” Emily managed, her voice raw. “He sounded…God, Elizabeth, he was happy. You made him so happy.”

“Thank you,” Lila murmured. “For giving him that. It hurts so very much right now, my darling. But someday, knowing the love you brought to one another, it will bring comfort.”

She closed her eyes. Pressed her hands to the lids. “I want to believe that. I just can’t seem to think past right now. It hurts so much.”

Emily wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and Elizabeth leaned into her. “I can’t even pretend it’s going to be okay,” Emily said softly. “Because I can’t accept that it ever will be. It’s not supposed to be this way.”

It is for me, Elizabeth very nearly said, but she could hear the wallowing in those words, the self-pity, and she bit them back. Emily and Lila didn’t need her devastation. They had their own.

But she was never going to be allowed to be happy for more than a moment in time, and it was time Elizabeth learned to accept that. If she could just stop…dreaming she deserved more, maybe the fall wouldn’t hurt so damn much.

Monday, September 23, 2002

Kelly’s: Diner

Bobbie touched Gia’s shoulder. “You mind if I take this seat?” she asked indicating the chair across from her. “I wanted to grab a quick lunch between shifts at the hospital.”

“Oh, yeah.” Gia pushed her notebook aside. “I have a class in an hour, so…” She shrugged. “Not that I can seem to concentrate. I mean, it’s stupid. I didn’t lose anyone. Jason didn’t even like me all that much.”

“You’re an acquired taste,” Bobbie said with a small. She gave her order to Penny and sighed. “I can’t tell if Elizabeth is managing or pretending to manage. She’s always been good at putting up a front.”

“She keeps it together for a while, and then something breaks her down. It’s only been three days, so I think she’s still kind of in shock.” Gia picked up her iced tea and sipped it. “I feel like this is my fault. I pushed her at him.”

“Gia—”

“She wanted to lie to herself, to pretend she wasn’t interested, and I forced her to admit that she was. I told myself I was just living up to our promise, you know? No more lies, not to each other and really not to ourselves. I told her I didn’t care if she pursued him, but she shouldn’t lie to herself.”

“And what? You think it made it worse because she—she lost him—” Bobbie caught her breath. Pressed a fist to her chest. “I’m sorry. It’s still…it’s catching me. I didn’t—I loved him like one of my own, and I just—I keep expecting him to walk through the doors. To come to the Brownstone.”

“I tried to tell her at least she had this time, but how much more did it suck that she got a taste of what it could be like?” Gia’s eyes burned. “I hate this. I hate this caring about people bullshit. I should have just seduced him or something. She’d hate me for that, and then I wouldn’t care, and I wouldn’t feel like shit—”

“That wouldn’t have solved anything.”

“No, but—” Gia sighed. “I don’t know. I just—I don’t think I pushed her like everyone did with Lucky last year. I don’t feel like that. I just didn’t want her to…lie to herself. And then when she admitted it, yeah, I kept encouraging it, I guess. You know, maybe I was jealous. I wanted someone like that, you know?”

“Someone like what?”

“Someone whose entire existence is made better because you’re there. You know how he looked at her, how he talked to her, about her. The way he was around her.” Gia sighed, pushed her French fries around her plate. “She had this chance at that kind of love, and I didn’t think she should throw it away. Nikolas, even when it was good, he never looked at me like that. Like the world disappeared when we were together. I wanted that in my life, so I pushed her towards it, and I just…I feel like what she’s going through is my fault.”

“It’s tempting to think…it would have hurt less if they hadn’t been dating,” Bobbie said slowly. “But I wonder if it would have given her more anguish…to know she had lost that chance forever. I think…I think we regret the roads we don’t take more than the ones we do.”

“I guess.”

“You’re hurting for your friend, Gia. That’s not a bad thing. She was happy, and now she’s not. And…maybe one day…this summer will be a comforting memory.” Bobbie pressed her lips together for a moment. “She had him for a brief moment, but it was a shining moment. And… before Jason died—” She couldn’t finish. Had to start again. “At the end, she brought him love and joy.”

“I wish I could believe that,” Gia said slowly. “But all I can think of is that…she had that before. With Lucky. Why the hell would the universe do this to her again?”

“Well…that I can’t answer.” Bobbie sighed. “I don’t know why the universe does anything. When I lost my BJ, my darling, sweet, amazing BJ—I still had Lucas. But it wasn’t the same. Having another child didn’t fill the hole, didn’t mend the pain. The universe gave me another daughter.”

“Yeah, the universe was feeling pretty salty that day,” Gia muttered. “Sorry—”

“I love my daughter because I gave birth to her,” Bobbie said slowly.  “I forgave her for what she had done to my marriage because I recognized that same self-destructive streak in her that I have fought against my entire life. I could understand the way her mind worked. The way she just reacted—the damage she could do. I could live with all of that because I knew she had inherited it from me—”

“And you’ve been blaming yourself for Carly ever since,” Gia said bluntly. “I get Carly. I used to be Carly. I used to hate the world—” She stopped. “My brother left home when I was still a kid. I’m a lot younger than him—I think you know that. When he left, things didn’t stay okay. My mom was always looking for another guy to fill the space that Marcus’s father, that my father had left her—”

“Gia—”

“It doesn’t matter.” Gia shook her head. “I learned to look out for myself. To always put myself first, because I was damn sure the only one who could. I thought what I wanted meant more than anyone else. Carly’s like that, Bobbie. Except she managed to hook up with a bunch of people who just excuse that kind of selfishness as a character flaw. As something to overlook. I hated Elizabeth. You know that. I did awful things to her. Said them to her face. Behind her back.”

Bobbie’s eyes softened. “Gia, she doesn’t—”

“Because I didn’t see her, you know? I just saw the way everyone else reacted to her. They treated her like this precious porcelain that belonged to Lucky Spencer, and Laura was bending over backwards to give her the modeling contract that I damn well deserved—I knew about Tom Baker. And I used it against her.”

Bobbie exhaled slowly. Sat back and just looked at her. “That’s pretty cold.”

“Yep. And I didn’t have a problem with that. She wasn’t right for the job. I was. Take what you want, that was my motto. And then I overheard Nikolas and Lucky talking about her the day of the wedding. Talking about how Lucky didn’t love her anymore, but he owed her this. And I just got pissed off. Because everyone had lied to me, and I was supposed to swallow it to go along with it. But now they were lying again. So, I went to her because I wanted to throw it in her face.”

She paused, took a sip of water. “I wanted to show her I was a better person. That I wouldn’t keep her in the fucking dark like she did to me. And so, I told her with hatred in my heart that her precious Lucky didn’t even love her. That he only pitied her. Like she was a dog.”

“What happened then?” Bobbie asked quietly.

“She looked at me, with tears in her eyes, and she thanked me. She said she’d been having her doubts, but that she thought she owed this to Lucky. But now…now I had set her free. She didn’t have to sacrifice her life anymore. I was going to shove her face in it, but she looked at me like I was doing her a favor. Like I was some kind of sign from the universe.”

“And three days later, you asked to rent the apartment from me. To live together.” Bobbie tipped her head. “What changed?”

“I stopped looking at her as the enemy, and she stopped seeing me as the bitch who blackmailed her best friend. Because being with Nikolas had only made me more selfish, and I was starting to hate myself. When I realized that I had gone into that room to destroy Elizabeth’s life just because I didn’t like her—I knew I was taking it too far. I didn’t want to be that girl anymore. She didn’t want to be who she was either. So, we figured, fuck it, let’s try and save each other.”

“It’s not your fault, Gia, that Elizabeth is hurting right now.”

“And it’s not your fault, Bobbie, that Carly is who she is. You gave her love, compassion. Understanding. A place to raise her son. What else were you supposed to do to keep this from happening?”

Bobbie closed her eyes. “I can’t look at her. I haven’t seen her much since Jason went missing. She’s avoiding me, and that means she’s involved. Somehow, someway. And she knows I’m at the end of my rope.”  She sighed. “But you’re right. This isn’t my fault either. I have to let her fall. Let her hit rock bottom. She needs to have that moment, Gia, where she doesn’t like that person she sees in the mirror. And right now, she’s still the victim. It’s still someone else’s fault. Someone else’s responsibility to fix.”

“Until that stops, there’s nothing you can do.”

Wednesday, September 25, 2002

Elm Street Pier

Elizabeth stepped off the last stair and turned to the left. There it was. The bench where she and Jason had sat so often in those early days. Where she had poured her heart out.

Where he had left her only months later.

Where they had been reunited.

Where she had betrayed him for the first time when she had thought he had attacked Lucky.

She sat down and looked out over the harbor, out at Spoon Island. She hadn’t thought about Nikolas Cassadine in months. He still lived out there. Still lived in Port Charles. But he was removed from her life, and she grieved for that. They had been through hell together once, and she’d thought that meant she was important.

That she deserved honesty. And respect.

She knew Gia was back at the apartment, her classes completed for the day. She knew she had to really go home. To try and do some of the studying she’d been ignoring. Pretending to do. If she was going to use her degree to distract her, it was probably time…to actually use it as a distraction.

But she just couldn’t.

If she tried to bury her grief, it would drown her. She knew that. She had to get through it. She had to live it, but…

Jason was dead. He was dead. They were having a memorial tomorrow, burying him on Friday. Three weeks after she’d last seen him, he would be in the ground.

Jason was dead.

And she still couldn’t wrap her mind around that.

Dead.

It was the first time, even in her own mind, that she had acknowledged it. Jason was dead. Shot to death in some filthy warehouse. Left to rot in the harbor. His funeral would require a closed casket—

A sob bubbled out of her throat and she fought it back. She was tired of losing it. Tired of the tears. They didn’t change anything.

There were some footsteps just around the corner, where the pier met Bannister’s Wharf. And then she saw the figure that bled out of the early evening shadows.

Zander Smith walked towards her, hands in the pockets of a light jacket, his dark hair cut short.  She hadn’t seen him since the bar fight, since Jason had told her he’d been fired and gone to Miami.

He stopped in front her. “Hey. I—I didn’t expect to run into you here.”

She frowned. Narrowed her eyes. “I thought you left Port Charles.”

“I did.” Zander swallowed hard. “I had to. It was…” He looked away, shaking his head. “I kept looking around, seeing Emily, and hating it. I wasn’t good enough for her, but I wanted to be. And every day I was here, I was reminded of that.”

Elizabeth slowly got to her feet. “Why do you think I’d care—”

“Because I was an asshole to you, and Morgan—” He closed his mouth. “I got what I deserved, but I—my boss set me up in Miami. And so, I heard about him. And I knew…I just…I knew Emily would be home—”

“You thought you’d come back, try to slide into her good graces?” Elizabeth demanded.

“Listen—”

“You are nothing,” she hissed. “Nothing. You’re not half the man Jason is—was—” Her voice broke. “I wish it were you. I don’t understand why it’s not. How can you be alive and someone like Jason—”

Zander just stared at her. “I know you’re upset, but c’mon, I only—I only bothered you for a like a minute. Why—”

“Because he’s dead. And you’re here. Trying to use it like he was just—an obstacle.” She strode towards him and shoved him. Hard. He fell back a few steps. “You think you can worm your way back into Emily’s life—what, is Sonny next? Do you think that Jason is gone, and you can just step right back in? Back to your goddamn corner office and promotion?”

“What the hell—”

“He’s dead—” Elizabeth whirled away, dragged her hands through hair, trying to draw back some of the anger. “And you’re like a fucking scavenger. A vulture here to pick at the pieces before his body is even cold.” She faced him again. “What is wrong with you?” she cried.

“Look, I never—” Zander shook his head. “I don’t want to make this worse for you. I’m sorry. I didn’t—” He looked away. “I’ll send Emily a letter or something. I was gonna go tomorrow, but I don’t—it’s not worth it. I’m sorry, Elizabeth.

“You’re only sorry he ever came home and screwed up your cozy life,” she snarled. “Go to hell.”

“You know what?” Zander shot back, his face flushing. “I had it right the first time—you’re a fucking bitch—”

“Back off!” The unexpected growl came from the top of the stairs, and Elizabeth saw just a blur as Lucky Spencer took the steps two at a time and shoved himself between the two of them. “What the hell is wrong with you, you piece of shit?”

“Oh, of course.” Zander sneered. “Here you are. Think you’re going to lap up Jason’s leavings? She’ll just jump back to you like she jumped to Jason—”

Lucky took Zander by the collar, his knuckles white. “Walk away. You stay away from that memorial tomorrow. You stay away from Emily, from Elizabeth. From all of us.”

“Go to hell,” the other man growled, but he jerked away from Lucky and stalked in the opposite direction, the way he came.

Lucky turned back to Elizabeth, dragging his hand through his hair. “Hey. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“What are you—” Elizabeth cleared her throat, trying to process his presence. “I thought you were in New York.”

“Emily called when Jason went missing…and then she told me—” Lucky swallowed. “It’s not what Zander said, I’m not trying—I just…”

He waited a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. “Emily told me what happened, and all I could think was that I had to make sure you were—I don’t know. That you weren’t alone. We were friends for so long, Elizabeth. You held me together when my entire family fell apart. Every time my world fell apart, you were there. Even when it hurt you.”

“Lucky—”

“So, I just…I don’t know. I wanted to be here for Emily, too, but I just—I wanted to try to see if I could be a friend to you again.” Lucky hesitated. “So here I am.”

“Okay.” Elizabeth folded her arms tightly. She looked back out over the lake as the sun set behind them, casting the Gothic mansion into shadows. “We’re burying him in two days, Lucky. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do this again,” she admitted.

He put his arm around her shoulders, and for just a minute, she could remember what it had been like once to lean on him. To trust that he would be there for her.

“The thing about you, Elizabeth Imogene Webber,” he said, and smiled when she grimaced at the sound of her hated middle name, “is that you never give yourself enough credit. But let me say that it’s bullshit that you even have to do this again.”

She sighed and let him walk her towards the steps and away from the bench.

In this room
I can barely breathe
This air that speaks your name
It flows through me
From each corner
From the window frame
Where we used to watch together
For the sun to rise again
– In This Room, Leslie Tucker

---

Friday, September 20, 2002

Elizabeth & Gia’s Apartment: Living Room

Elizabeth knew even before Gia opened the door. No one knocked on a door at four in the morning without it being bad news.

Gia had fallen asleep on the sofa the night before as they had watched some mindless television, trying to keep their minds off everything happening around them.

Trying to forget that it had now been two weeks without a word from Jason.

Elizabeth had drifted into a light sleep while half-listening to the late night television, and the infomercials had given away to the early morning news broadcast that would run from four to seven before national affiliates took over.

The knocked was quiet. Hesitant. But it echoed in the room like a shot gun blast.

Elizabeth jerked awake and was still trying to figure out what was happening as Gia rose and went to answer the door.

Her brother stood there, looking as if he hadn’t had any more sleep than Elizabeth in the last few weeks. The hallway was dim—only a small sconce lit Taggert from behind.

Gia sighed and drew back the door. “Marcus.”

“Hey.”

Elizabeth got to her feet. Switched on the lamp next to the sofa. She knew what he would say even before he said it.

“Last night,” Taggert began hesitantly, “a body was pulled from the harbor.”

Oh. Oh, God. The sob spilled out of her lips before she could even process it. She knew what he was going to say. Her body knew, her heart knew, but her brain still needed the words.

“Are they sure—” Gia began, but Taggert shook his head.

“Preliminary testing has tentatively identified him.” He cleared his throat, looked at Elizabeth. “He’d been shot twice in the chest—”

“Marcus,” Gia hissed.

“There’s no way to tell how long he was in the water,” Taggert said. “But…it looks like it’s been a while.”

“Two weeks?” she managed, the tears spilling down her cheeks. “Are you sure it’s him—”

“It was hard to say from the state of the body, but like I said, some early blood tests. Ah…it’s tentative, but the PCPD feels confident enough—” Taggert shook his head. “The body was pretty decomposed—”

“Oh, God.” She pressed her hands to the mouth. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t force the air into lungs. Oh, God. She didn’t even know how convinced she’d been that he was okay until this minute. “Oh, God.”

Gia crossed to her, put an arm around her shoulder. “Let’s sit down, honey. C’mon—”

Elizabeth allowed herself to be guided back to the sofa, the back of her knees hitting the cushion as she sat down. She forced herself to think. “You said last night. When?”

“Around midnight.” Taggert knelt in front of her. “I know you’re not his technical next of kin, but—I asked to notify you myself. Mac is waiting a few more hours to tell the Quartermaines. I just—I knew you weren’t sleeping well. I knew you were terrified, and I know this doesn’t make it better—”

“It makes it over,” Elizabeth said dully. She closed her eyes. “I can’t—this isn’t real. It’s not. It can’t be. Can I see him? Maybe I could tell you if it was wrong—”

“If you insisted on seeing him, I would do it,” Taggert said after a moment, but he shook his head. “Please don’t ask me. I did not like Jason Morgan, but you loved him. And I know he loved you. He would not want that to be your memory of him. Please.”

His beautiful face. His eyes. His mouth. His smile. His voice. Oh, God, she would never see him again. Never hold him. Oh, God.

“I’m so sorry, Elizabeth.” He hesitated. “There are questions I need to ask you, but they can wait, okay?”

“No.” She shook her head. “No. There’s nothing I can tell you anyway. I told you that night what I knew.” Elizabeth paused.  “I—you said the phone records came back. That he left me a voicemail. Can I have my phone?”

He waited a moment. “Yeah. We’re releasing the room today. We didn’t have…any cause to take your phone, so it’s still sitting there. If there’s anything on the message you think I should know—”

“I’ll tell you.”

Taggert got to his feet and she heard his footsteps mingle with his sisters as Gia let him out and locked the door behind him.

“Am I awake?” she murmured. “Is this really happening?”

“Elizabeth—”

She took a deep breath. “I need to take a shower. I need to be ready. Because Bobbie is going to be up here as soon as she hears, and I know Courtney and AJ—and God, Emily and the Quartermaines It’s all going to happen so fast, but I want—”

“You don’t have to anything you don’t want to do,” Gia said with some irritation. “You want to sit here and stare at the wall—”

Elizabeth squeezed her eyes shut so tightly that it hurt. “I’m scared if I go lay down, if I don’t start doing something, I’ll never be able to get back up again. So, I have to get up. I have to go.” She exhaled slowly. “There’s a lot that has to be done, and I really…I want my phone.”

“Okay.”

“I need to know what he said to me. And then…then I need to know why Sonny lied.” She wrapped her arms around her torso, took a deep breath. “Because he knew something last week when I went to see him. And I let him lie to me. How long did he know Jason wasn’t just hurt—”

“Maybe he really didn’t know—”

“He knew something,” Elizabeth repeated. “He lied to me. And I deserve to know why.”

Safe House: Bedroom

When Jason had regained consciousness—when he stayed awake long enough to have coherent thought—he knew immediately something was wrong.

He was not allowed to move, and Johnny and the doctor refused to bring him newspapers. Refused to tell him anything that was happening. Wouldn’t even allow him to know what day it was.

Which meant it had been more than a handful of days since the warehouse shooting.

And Elizabeth wasn’t here.

That fact told Jason all he needed to know. He’d been kept drugged so Sonny didn’t have to bring Elizabeth to see him. So that Sonny didn’t have to tell her he was hurt.

Johnny had kept putting him off, telling him that Sonny would answer his questions when he got there, but Jason was starting to feel strong enough to start moving around, even if the doctor had advised against it.

Sonny knew better. Sonny should have known better. Jason hated being confined. Hated pain medication that knocked him out, left him groggy and disoriented. Hated being lied to.

But Jason also knew that he was too weak to move on his own—that the safe house where he’d been taken was located away from Port Charles. There wasn’t likely to be any transportation for him to get out of here and find anything out—and if he walked on his own, he might reopen his stitches and bleed out before he reached civilization.

So, he waited. He waited on Sunday. Monday. Tuesday.

And when Wednesday slipped into Thursday, Jason told Johnny that if Sonny didn’t show up by the end of the next day, he’d take his chances on the walk, and Johnny relayed the message. And apparently, Sonny had believed him.

“I know you’re angry,” Sonny said when he entered the bedroom on Friday afternoon. “Let me explain—”

“What day is it?” Jason said, flatly. “What date? How many days did you drug me?”

Sonny exhaled slowly. “It’s September 20. Friday. You were kept sedated until last week—”

“Did you tell Elizabeth I was shot?”

When Sonny hesitated, Jason shook his head and pushed himself out of the bed, into a standing position. He held out his hand. “Give me my phone. Now.”

“By the time I could have told her,” Sonny said, backing up from his enraged partner, “Taggert was already talking to her. He already knew you’d walked out on plans—he’d told her about the warehouse—I couldn’t bring her here—”

“Did you tell her I was okay?” Jason demanded. He knew Sonny. He knew the way the man could and would talk circles around someone, make them think their questions had been answered.

“She figured you were lying low and couldn’t contact her,” Sonny said. “She’s pissed at me because I didn’t confirm it.”

“Why the hell—”

“You told her that you were supposed to be out. What the hell were you thinking?” Sonny cut in. “She came at me, both barrels, telling me she knew this was about Carly because you were supposed to be out. Why the fuck are you talking about business with your girlfriend?”

Jason scowled. “Don’t change the goddamn subject, Sonny. It was after the warehouse. I was with her when it happened. So, yeah, I told her I wasn’t going. She’s not an idiot—and—” He bit off. “She’s not just my girlfriend, Sonny. She’s not just someone I picked up in a bar. Don’t talk about her that way—”

“Then don’t be stupid. She’s been talking to Taggert, Jason. Cooperating with the cops—”

“Because the cops are the only ones telling her—” Jason sliced his hand through the air. “I’m not debating this with you. Give me my phone.”

“No,” Sonny shook his head. “No one’s made any moves. You call her, you go back on the grid, then this is for nothing!”

“I don’t give a shit. Give me my phone, Sonny. You don’t own me, and I’m not letting Elizabeth worry about me. I want to talk to her. I get that she can’t come to see me, but you’ve already lied to her—”

“I didn’t lie to her,” Sonny said with a grimace. “I just told her I hadn’t heard from you since Friday. Or seen you. And that was true.”

“You lied to her, Sonny. You knew I was okay. That I was just hurt, and you didn’t tell her—”

“Because she’s not an idiot,” Sonny said, throwing the words back at him. “She knows what’s going on. Calling her now is only going to bring attention to all of this. They’ll make their move in another day or two.”

“What if they don’t?” Jason demanded. “What if we’re still waiting?”

Sonny hesitated. “Give me a week, Jase. I’ve got some things in motion. I’ve sent up some smoke signals that we’re weak. That we’re vulnerable. That’s what I’m asking—”

“Fine. But when you leave here, you go tell her that I’m okay. Promise me, Sonny,” Jason said, roughly. “You know what she’s been through. You were here when I wasn’t. Don’t make her worry anymore.”

“I promise,” Sonny said after a moment. “I’ll see her today. I’ll make sure she knows what’s going on. I don’t like this. I hate keeping her in the dark, Jason. Because I damn well know how hard she’s worked this last year to get away from this kind of crap. But this is the business. This is what we chose. So maybe you need to know whether she can really choose it—”

“Sonny, if you lie to Elizabeth one more time about what’s going on, you and I are done,” Jason said quietly. “I love her. I asked her to move in with me. She’s the one I want a future with. And every minute she’s worrying about whether I’m dead or alive, you’re chipping away at that.”

“Jase—”

“You never would have put Brenda or Carly through this. You lied to them. You misled them. You destroyed Brenda when you walked away from her without a word. But you never made them wait for weeks to know if you were alive. You wouldn’t do this to them. Elizabeth deserves at least that much respect.”

Sonny dipped his head. Nodded. “All right. I’ll take care of it today. You may not like the way I’ve handled this situation, Jason, but I handled it the best way I knew how. I did it to keep everyone safe. Just remember that.”

Jake: Jason’s Room

If the PCPD had done an extensive search, Elizabeth could find no evidence of it when she flipped the light switch later that morning.

In fact, the room looked just as she had left two weeks earlier: her textbooks still taking over the table, her cosmetics strewn across the dresser.

Her phone neatly plugged in on the nightstand.

Next to her, Gia waited a moment. “Do you want me to get it?” she asked softly. “You could—you could just—”

“No.”

Elizabeth walked over the threshold and sat at the table, staring at the chair across from her. Where Jason usually sat. Where they had shared a lot of bad coffee and greasy take-out. In this room in the last four months, where they had laughed. Made love. Teased one another. Argued. Made up.

“The first time he nearly kissed me was in this room. It looked different then.” Elizabeth looked at her roommate. “I came to him after the Face of Deception photo shoot.”

“I remember,” Gia said with a pained smile. “You…you left the studio.”

“I came here. It was selfish to come here. I’d already told Jason we couldn’t…that we had to stop…but I just…I knew he’d get it. Or even if he didn’t…. he’d let me fall apart. He wouldn’t look at me like I was crushing his dreams.”

She closed her eyes. “There used to be these really ugly orange chairs. I sat here. And I tried to explain it to him. Why being a model made me feel like I was dying inside. I wanted to take off my makeup—and he…he washed my face. Because I didn’t look like me.”

Her eyes burned as she continued. “I was sitting on the edge of the bed, and he was holding my chin in one hand—and I wanted to kiss him. I knew he wanted to kiss me. But I was so scared of what it would mean—I couldn’t. I couldn’t take that step. I couldn’t lie to myself once I kissed him. God what the hell was I so afraid of?”

Elizabeth stood and crossed to the dresser, picked up a tube of lipstick. “He hated clutter, you know? I told you that, right?”

“Yeah.” Gia looked around the room. “I can tell.”

“But he just gave me the top of the dresser. He didn’t use it, he told me. So even though it drove him crazy…I just left things all over.” She picked up a ring she’d removed the last night she’d been here. “But he keeps—kept…he kept…” she corrected softly as she looked at the small shelf next to the dresser. “Some travel books.”

“Yeah. You told me he used to read to Michael.”

“Michael still loves to read about the places all over the world. Africa is his favorite. The animals, mostly.” Elizabeth set the ring down and then slid her fingers over the four or five books stacked on the shelf. “He wanted to take me to Italy.”

She closed her eyes. “He wanted to show me the light in Italy. And I turned him down. Everything in me screamed yes, but I was terrified.”

“Why?” Gia asked softly. “Why did it scare you so much, Elizabeth?”

She turned to her best friend but saw no judgment in her dark eyes. “Staying with Lucky was safe,” she murmured. “Or I thought it was. And there’s a comfort in that. Lucky would never leave me. I had to leave him.” Except hadn’t he left first? Why hadn’t she seen that?

“And you thought Jason would?”

“Maybe. I don’t—” Elizabeth licked her lips. “I don’t know if I thought…I mean, you know what he looks—” She caught her breath. “What he looked like,” she corrected softly. “You knew him, Gia. The girl I was last year? I couldn’t have made him happy. I didn’t even like myself. How was I supposed to love someone else?”

“That…” Gia said with a hesitant smile. “Is the nicest thing you’ve said about yourself back then. You made the right choice not to leave with him last year. I know it hurts. I know it feels like a mistake. Especially now. But you weren’t ready to be in love with someone who would love you back. You were ready this year.”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth released a long shaky breath. “He’s really gone, isn’t he? I can’t quite make myself believe it. I don’t feel it here. Not at all the way.” She pressed a fist to her heart. “But…I guess that doesn’t matter. I felt it with Lucky. There was a hole in me almost immediately. I could accept that he was gone even when I couldn’t. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Gia shifted. “Elizabeth—”

She crossed the room and picked up her phone. She flipped it open. There were a few scattered calls from Bobbie, from Courtney. And a few from her grandmother, who must have seen the news from Memphis where she lived with Elizabeth’s brother, Steven. And from Jason…

“He called me six times.” Elizabeth opened her voicemails—there were a few unread, but only one from his number.

And pressed play, lifting the phone to her ear.

“I guess you left your phone at Jake’s. I can’t—I won’t be able to come by tonight. Something came up—I’ll explain when I can, okay? I love you, Elizabeth.”

His voice. His words. God. Why hadn’t she grabbed her phone that last morning?

She hurriedly followed the directions to save the message, clutching the cell phone to her heart. Maybe Lucas or one of his tech savvy friends could…find a way Elizabeth could keep this message. So she could just…. listen to him.

“That’s it. That’s the last thing he said to me,” she murmured. “God. I can’t—”

Her throat closed, her knees buckled, and she sat on the edge of the bed. “I can’t breathe, Gia. How can he be gone?”

Gia sat next to her, their shoulders brushing. “I don’t know. I don’t have the words, Elizabeth.”

“I know if I just put one foot in front of the other and keeping doing that—I’ll look up one day, and it’ll be…later. It’ll hurt less. That’s how it happened with Lucky. I put on a mask, I pretended. I was angry in private, but I kept—I graduated from school. I smiled when Emily started to date Juan even though I hated her for being happy. I wanted to burn everything down so that they would be in ashes like Lucky. Like my life.”

She sobbed into her fist, trying to keep her composure. Trying to keep it together. If she lost it, if she really lost it in this place, in this room where she and Jason had shared a life together—it would be real.

God, she didn’t want it to be real.

“But it didn’t work. Going about my life—it never made it stop hurting. Until Jason. And it’s not—he didn’t perform any miracles. He just never made me feel like I had to be okay.” Elizabeth squeezed her eyes shut. “I could say anything to him, and he would never judge me. He was so kind. So sweet. And I’m sure he’d hate that.”

“It would probably have ruined his reputation,” Gia agreed.

“But it helped to just have someone I could be awful around. Someone I didn’t have to pretend with. And then one day—” Elizabeth swallowed hard. “I was having a bad day. An art professor had roasted a portrait of Lucky I’d done for class, and I felt like I’d failed him. I was telling Jason I wanted Lucky back for just a moment, and I had this—I had this insane idea—I asked him to dance with me to our song—Lucky’s and mine.”

She pulled that memory back into her head, closing her eyes to remember it. “It didn’t work. I knew immediately it wouldn’t. Jason was taller than Lucky. And…more muscular. He wasn’t Lucky…and I liked it. I knew it was a stupid idea. But I liked being in his arms. And then I hated myself for even for a minute…thinking about someone else.”

Elizabeth rose to her feet and crossed to the closet, opening it. She drew out the leather jacket Jason kept for cooler weather. “It wasn’t this jacket. That one got destroyed by the gunshot. Blood. And a bullet hole.”

She ran her fingers over the smooth leather. “He looked good in this jacket, didn’t he?”

“He did.”

Elizabeth brought the jacket to her face, breathed in the smell of Jason. He hadn’t worn the jacket in a few months, but it hung next to other clothes he wore more often. It smelled like him today.

But one day it wouldn’t.

And one day, someone else would rent this room.

And someone else would do his job at the warehouse.

“When I lost Lucky, I never thought I could let myself love anyone again. I didn’t think I had the…ability. Or even the right. You were supposed to fall in forever love once, you know? How many soul mates does a girl get?”

“I don’t know if I believe in soul mates,” Gia said after a long moment. “I think…it’s too easy. And it can be used to justify unhappiness. I think we find people who make us like ourselves better, you know? When Nikolas and I first started…it’s not like I was a great person. I mean, I had issues. But I wanted to do better. And he thought I could. He was what I needed in the moment. And if we had married before all that crap happened last year, I don’t know—we probably would have been happy. Or not. But how much time did you waste with Lucky because you were supposed to be soul mates?”

Elizabeth sighed. “Maybe. It was hard for me back then to ever imagine loving anyone the way I loved Lucky. And you know, I didn’t love Jason that way. You only get one first love. It’s sweet. It’s pure. It feels like a high. A rush of adrenaline. Lucky and I never argued. We didn’t need to.”

She sat back down, cradling the jacket in her arms.

“With Jason, I don’t know. I looked at this man who seemed larger than life. Jason was always honest. With himself. With others, and God, that’s just so rare. And he always seemed to understand me better than I understood myself. We did fight. About Lucky. About Carly. About Michael. But…it never…” Elizabeth traced her fingers over the leather again. “I knew he respected me. He wanted me to be honest with myself. To be whoever I wanted to be. I didn’t have to hide with him.” She closed her eyes. “Before Carly came back, I could see our future. We hadn’t really talked about it, but you know, you didn’t always need words with Jason.”

She sucked in a deep breath as the pain slid through her belly again. “Not like the future Lucky and I planned out before the fire. I didn’t—I didn’t know he was going to ask me to live with him. But I just…I could think about myself in five years, and he’d be there. Ten years. I could see him with me. Because I can’t imagine either of us would change without doing it together.”

“I’m sorry,” Gia said softly. “It’s…weak to say that, but I don’t have anything else. I’m just…I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.” She sighed. “Yeah. I don’t think there’s anything else to say.” She rose to her feet, looked around the room again. “This was a good place, you know? A safe place.” She paused. “But I don’t want to come back here. I can’t. Sonny can…I’ll ask Sonny to get his things. I don’t even know where—but I can…I should get my things.”

She started to put the jacket back—and then stopped.

It wouldn’t smell like Jason for very long, but…for now…for now it was something she could keep.

Harborview Towers: Lobby

With Gia hesitantly trailing behind her, Elizabeth approached the desk where a security guard was quietly sitting, his head down. “Excuse me?”

The head snapped up, and Elizabeth was surprised to see the man’s eyes were red, as if he’d been crying. “Miss Webber.” He lunged to his feet. “Ah…” He looked past her, to Gia. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I was hoping to see Sonny,” Elizabeth murmured. “I know…I know Gia has to wait down here.”

“Oh.” The guard blinked, took a deep breath. “Yeah. Yeah. Let me—” He reached for the phone. “Mr. Corinthos isn’t taking visitors—he—he got the call—but I’m sure he’ll—” He stopped as someone must have picked up on the other line. “Hey, Miss Webber—” He frowned, listening to someone. “Oh. Okay.” He put the phone back on the receiver and looked at Elizabeth. “Mr. Corinthos sends his apologies, but he’s not ready to see anyone.”

“Anyone, or me?” Elizabeth asked bitterly.

“I—” The guard flushed. “I wouldn’t know. He asked that you take a guard with you for a few days. I’m going to call downstairs—”

Elizabeth shook her head. “No. Tell him I refused.”

“Elizabeth—” Gia said quietly. “Maybe—”

“No, obviously any obligation or feeling Sonny felt towards me died the same time—” Her voice broke. “It doesn’t matter. Tell Sonny I get it. He knows I’m here to ask why the hell he lied to me, and he doesn’t want to lie to my face again.”

The guard’s face remained passive, but he swallowed hard. “Okay, maybe that’s true. But…Mr. Morgan…we all know how much you—maybe—for him—”

She closed her eyes. “Fine. Call someone up to take me home.” She turned to Gia. “You have your car, so I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay.” Gia touched her arm. “I’ll see you later.”  She eyed the guard for a long moment before heading for the lobby exit.

Elizabeth waited until the elevator to the parking garage opened, and a man in a dark suit emerged. He was tall, with his head carefully shaved. He introduced himself as Cody, and Elizabeth followed him back to the parking garage.

Once the doors had closed, the guard picked up the phone and called the penthouse again.

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

Sonny sighed and hung up the phone. “She took the guard. I had someone on her anyway, but this way, she’ll have someone with her.”

Benny grunted as he read paperwork across the room. “You should have told her—”

“And I will.” Sonny turned. “But there are too many eyes on us. The cops are watching her too closely. They know Elizabeth is angry at me, I’m sure she’s made that clear to Taggert. To Bobbie. She was angry with me before she ever came here last week, Benny—”

“My obligation is not to Elizabeth Webber,” Benny said with some irritation. “Though morally, this bothers me a on a level I am severely uncomfortable with. My obligation is to you and your organization. You are creating problems with Jason that will not be simply solved by his return from the dead.”

“Jason will understand eventually—”

“You are holding Elizabeth responsible for mistakes that she did not make.” Benny got to his feet. “You’re holding her to your standards—”

“Mine are the only ones that matter—”

“Not to Jason, they don’t. He walked away for the better part of two years because of that business with Carly—”

“That wasn’t just me,” Sonny muttered, even as an itch developed between his shoulders. Goddamn it, would he never live that single horrible night down?

“No. But you and I both knew he left because he didn’t know if he could keep doing his job for you. When he finds out that not only did you fake his death and put his family through the grief and devastation but that you did it to Elizabeth—a woman he has made very clear he would have trusted with the truth—you are putting that in jeopardy—”

“Benny, I don’t pay you to lecture me—”

“No, you pay me to advise you on your business arrangements, and this is a bad business decision. Jason forgave you once. For Carly. Because it was both of you. This? This will all come down on you. So, I hope you ask yourself if it’s enough to prove a point.” Benny tipped his head. “You were going to bring her in on this, Sonny. We talked about it. When we started planning a body dump, you were going to tell her the truth. Prepare her. Until you found out she knew too much.”

“She needs plausible deniability,” Sonny muttered. “She’s too close to Taggert. She wouldn’t be able keep it up—”

“If that helps you sleep at night,” Benny said with a kindness Sonny knew the older man didn’t feel. “I have to go file these at the court house. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

His manager left, leaving Sonny alone in his penthouse. He reached for the bottle of bourbon and didn’t even bother with the glass.

Elizabeth & Gia’s Apartment: Living Room

Later that night, in the kitchen, Gia’s hands were shaking slightly as she arranged some food on plate for Elizabeth. Bobbie had brought it home from Kelly’s and had encouraged Gia to make sure Elizabeth ate something. Anything.

When Elizabeth had returned from Sonny’s, walking in only a few minutes after Gia, she had sat down on the sofa, turned on the television and stared at it. Not watching it, not listening, just staring at the screen.

Gia had tried to talk to her a few times, but it was as if an icy wall had descended. As if her roommate had crawled inside herself and refused to come out.

Gia was not a good person. She had never aspired to be a good person, and almost everything she knew about being one came from her brother, her mother, and the figure in the living room.

Their friendship had come out of nowhere—just two people tired of the lies and bullshit surrounding them. Tired of their own poor choices and dissatisfied with the road ahead of them. They had gone back to school, rented this apartment, and promised each other complete and total honesty. No matter what.

And Gia had delivered that. Had pushed Elizabeth when she’d backslid to lying to herself, to protecting herself. Had championed her relationship with Jason.

Had dismissed Elizabeth’s fears about being broken. About being left behind.

Had ignored the fact that Jason Morgan worked a dangerous job and was even more at risk than a seventeen-year-old boy lighting candles in his bedroom.

“Well, girl, you reap what you sow,” Gia murmured. Now her best friend, the only person who knew her past, wasn’t related to her, and still liked her company, had had her entire world crumble around her, and Gia…hated herself for whatever role she had played in this tragedy.

Her cell phone vibrated on the white Formica counter next to the coffee pot. Gia picked it up and flipped it open.

“Courtney. Hey.”

“Hey.” Courtney was quiet for a long moment, her voice a bit hoarse when she spoke again. “I called…I called to check on Elizabeth, but that’s stupid, right? She’s not okay. How could she be okay?”

“It’s not stupid. It’s what people do.” Gia pressed a hand to her forehead. “Christ, Courtney. How’s AJ? Which is also a ridiculous question.”

“He’s in, um, shock. I think. We came to the mansion. We’re still here. Um, Michael was crying at first and started to ask if we were sure. If we were making a mistake about Jason like we did Carly, and I don’t know what to say to him. Edward is in his room with Lila. They’re not coming out. And Alan and Monica are just…they’re staring into silence. Not even crying.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s—” Gia passed Elizabeth on the couch and peered through the curtain. “Now, we have news vans outside the Brownstone. They were already here when we got back from Sonny’s. Already filming. Fucking vultures.”

“Yeah, Liz and whoever she was with was on the news—Ned was watching it. He wants to sic the lawyers on them. Do something. Liz looked—she looked empty. In shock. Ned said if you want him to send over ELQ’s lawyer to get them to go—”

“We’ll keep it in mind. I left a message with Marcus. I’m hoping he’ll stop by—he should be able to get rid of them. Thanks.”

Gia turned back to Elizabeth. “Um, Elizabeth? It’s Courtney. She just…. she wanted to check on you.”

Elizabeth met her eyes, and that blank empty stare—God, she knew that stare. Elizabeth had worn it so often in the months leading up to her wedding. During that last final awful year with Lucky. Then it cleared, and Elizabeth took a deep breath. “I’m—is AJ okay?”

“Courtney thinks he’s in shock. They went to the Qs.” Gia hesitated. “Did you—maybe you want to go there—”

“Oh.” Elizabeth blinked. “No.” She paused. “Thank you.”

“Ooookay,” Gia drawled. She was completely out of her depth. She turned her attention back to Courtney. “Is—Is Emily coming back?”

“Oh. Yeah. Ned called her. She’s flying in tomorrow. I’ll let you know the details—” Courtney paused. “Hey, I need to go. Michael’s awake and he’s—”

“Yeah, go. Go.”

Gia closed her phone and then slid it into her pocket. She sat next to Elizabeth on the sofa. “Do you need me to just sit here? To…be quiet? You can scream at me, if you want. Something.”

“I—” Elizabeth hesitated. Focused on Gia.  “I should have told him yes about living together. That’s all I can think about now. I smiled at him, I kissed him. I told him I loved him, but I put him off. I wanted it—I wanted it to be a moment. He was going to pick me up. He was going to let me drive. And we were going to go somewhere. And I was going to tell him yes.”

“He knew that, Elizabeth. He had to know that.” God, Gia hoped that was true. “He loved you.”

“I wasted so much time,” she murmured. “I picked that fight about Carly—”

“It was the right fight,” Gia insisted, going with her instinct here. “Hey. I need you to look at me.” She waited until Elizabeth met her eyes. “You knew she was manipulating him, and you knew he would refuse to see it. You made him see it. A year ago, you swallowed every piece of emotional abuse Lucky threw at you. You stood up for yourself. And for Jason. And he knew you were right. You know that.”

“I just—” Elizabeth’s voice broke. “He thought Carly was his friend, and she never deserved that label. Never. I hated how much she hurt him. But I thought I knew what was right, and I forced him to do what I wanted. I became Robin—”

“No. Jesus, no. Hey.” Gia leaned forward. “No, you didn’t. You did the one thing Robin never did. You stood in front him, and you drew a line in the sand. You said this is what I need from you. From a relationship. You challenged him to give you what you needed. And he stepped up. And he asked you to move in with him.”

Elizabeth dug the heels of her hands into her eyes. Her shoulders trembled. “He…he told me he didn’t want me to be anyone else for him. To hide how I felt. What I thought. He didn’t want that.”

“I don’t know what to say to you. I’m so fucking angry at the world—” Gia felt pressure behind her eyes. “So fucking angry that they would put that man on this planet, make him practically perfect, give him to you for five fucking minutes and steal him away again—what is the goddamn point of it?” she demanded, her voice breaking.

And…then Elizabeth laughed. Bitter, choked laughter as tears slid down her cheeks. As her shoulders shook. “God. Oh, God. God, is it real? Is he—How could—”

Gia slid across the couch and pulled Elizabeth into a hug, wrapping her arms around her tightly. “I’m so sorry. I am so goddamn sorry.”

And she held Elizabeth as her best friend sobbed until her voice was gone.

Hey now you’re bleeding for nothing
It’s hard to breathe when you’re standing on your own
We’ll kill ourselves to find freedom
You’ll kill yourself to find anything at all.
– Hey Now, Augustana

---

Thursday, September 12, 2002

Kelly’s: Courtyard

Courtney stepped out of the diner and embraced her husband with a tight hug. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He dipped his head into her neck and just let her touch soothe him. “How is everything?”

“Elizabeth isn’t here today.” Courtney drew back, letting her hands slide over his shoulders and resting on his upper chest. “Bobbie wants her to take a few days.”

“I bet she’d rather be busy,” AJ muttered, exhaling slowly. “I’d ask how she’s doing but—”

“She hasn’t heard from Jason in nearly a week. And Sonny keeps turning her away,” Courtney confessed. “He sent someone yesterday to tell her that Sonny had gone out of town, but he’s still in Port Charles. He’s just too scared to tell her what’s going on.”

“Is that what Liz thinks?” AJ asked, frowning.

“No, but it’s what Gia says. She’s getting really pissed off and she accidentally—so she says—told her brother what the guard told Liz. And Taggert says that Sonny is holed up at the Towers, refusing to talk to the police.”

AJ hissed under his breath. “He’s lying to her. That can’t be good.”

“Yeah, Gia didn’t tell her what Taggert said, but—it’s been a week. Jason would have contacted her by now if he could. So, he can’t.”

She let her head dip down into his chest. “I’m so worried for her, AJ. And I’m worried for you.”

“For me?”

Courtney flushed but raised her head to meet his eyes. “I hate myself for it, but if something happened to your brother, after everything you’ve been through these last few months—”

“You mean if my brother is dead when we’ve finally started to understand one another?” AJ said roughly. “Will I take a drink?”

“Yeah,” Courtney said in a small voice. “God, I’m sorry—”

“Hey. Honesty, right? That’s what we promised each other. I don’t know, Courtney. For right now, I’m just…. not letting myself think of it. I’m telling myself maybe he got hurt, and Sonny’s just being an asshole to Elizabeth. No news is good news as far as I can tell.” He hesitated. “But yeah. I don’t know what’s going to happen if it’s bad. I like to think I could do it. I haven’t…”

AJ was quiet for a moment, and Courtney let him have his space.

“When Carly came home, I didn’t know Jason was going to take my side,” he said. “There were a few times when I thought…I thought about taking a drink. Just to take the edge off. To stop being so worried. So tense.”

“You didn’t say anything,” Courtney murmured.

“I called my sponsor the first time, and he stayed on the phone with me until the feeling was gone. And I called him again. Then Jason went missing.” He looked away. “But people depend on me. You. Michael. I have to be there for my family if it goes wrong. And I know he wouldn’t expect it, but I feel like I should be there for Elizabeth—”

“You shouldn’t put that kind of pressure on yourself,” Courtney protested, but he just shook his head.

“It’s not pressure,” he said. “I don’t know how to explain it. I just…if I take a drink, I’m not just breaking a promise to you, to myself. To Michael. I’m breaking it to Jason. And if I let the people I care about worry about Jason on their own—I don’t know. I just…I have responsibilities, and before—maybe I would have run from them. Now? I just want to do the right thing. Be strong for everyone else.”

Courtney smiled, but her eyes were sad, her lashes a bit wet. “I’m so scared for her, AJ. She’s already closing in on herself. She’s going to her classes, going to work, but there’s a desperation—I don’t know what will happen if Jason—”

“Then let’s try not to worry about it,” AJ told her.” He kissed her cheek. “I need to get back to work.”

Brownstone: Kitchen

Bobbie sighed, restless, as she stirred sugar into her coffee at the counter. She watched Elizabeth at the dining table, mindlessly flipping pages in one of her textbooks.

She didn’t know how to help Elizabeth, what to say to her, how to get her through this. Jason had disappeared from the face of the Earth, and Sonny wasn’t taking anyone’s phone calls, had even gone as far as to claim that he was out of town to avoid Elizabeth.

“I called Scott again today,” she told Elizabeth as she joined her at the table. “But the PCPD is still not releasing Jason’s room at Jake’s.”

“That’s okay.” Elizabeth lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “They got my phone records. Alexis told me they just couldn’t get a search warrant for the messages.” The words were basic, the tone was matter-of-fact, but Bobbie knew Elizabeth well enough now to know when she was lying. When she was protecting herself. And Bobbie didn’t have the heart to challenge her on it.

“They can’t prove Jason’s involved in anything, so she’s holding them off.” Bobbie sipped the coffee. Winced. She’d put too much cream into it again. “He’ll turn up, Elizabeth—”

“If he’s alive, he’s hurt,” Elizabeth murmured. “And he’s hurt badly enough he can’t contact me.” Her dark blue eyes were lush with tears as she looked at Bobbie. “Twenty-four hours, I could…I could live with that, you know? I just…I don’t know why Sonny won’t talk to me.”

Bobbie hesitated. “You know…Sonny’s…always had issues with trust.”

Elizabeth’s lips were pressed into a thin line. “I’ve never given him a reason to distrust me, Bobbie. I’ve always put Jason first—”

“You know that. Jason knows that. But Sonny?  He’s got a history with this sort of thing. When he was dating Brenda, she wore a wire.”

“Jason mentioned that a few months ago, but he didn’t really talk about it. Why would she do that to him?”

“I’m not really sure, actually.” Bobbie lifted a shoulder. “I only heard about it second hand, but I think she was scared. It destroyed them. And then Carly—”

“Carly entrapped him and then six months later, she turned him into the feds, that much I know.” Elizabeth pushed her textbook away. “I remember back when Jason was shot. I could tell Sonny hated that I knew. I knew that Jason was hurt, that I had been the one to help him. I wouldn’t tell him where Jason was—he hated it.”

“Sonny is obsessed with power, with control, there’s no doubt about that.”

“It wasn’t just not knowing about Jason. He was so uncomfortable with me being involved at all, and I used to think it was the danger. But last year, when Jason came to town and stayed in my studio because he wanted to watch the warehouse? Sonny was angry about that, too. He thought there were other places Jason could have stayed—”

“But Jason wanted to see you. He trusted you.”

“When Jason and I first started dating, he told me that there was this…code. This way of doing things. You don’t talk. There were things I could never know, but…” She sighed, her breath tremulous. Shaky. “He’s never been good at that. I mean, he would talk in euphemisms and around things, but he always told me more than I think Sonny liked. That’s why I know…if he was just hurt and lying low, he would have found a way to tell me.”

“I believe that,” Bobbie said, reaching out to squeeze Elizabeth’s wrist. “I was there, too, when he was shot. When you were taking care of him. And I’ve been here these last few months. Whatever is going on, you can blame Sonny for it. I have no doubt there.”

“I—” Elizabeth licked her lips. “I haven’t seen Carly around. Is she still not—”

“She came to me the night Jason went missing,” Bobbie admitted. “She had told Jason the truth finally, or at least that’s what she said.”

Elizabeth stared at her. “That same night? I saw her earlier that day. She told me she didn’t fake her death.”

Bobbie nodded. “Whatever you said, convinced her to go to Jason, who told her to come to me. She didn’t tell me what happened, only that Jason was satisfied with her answer—”

Elizabeth dipped her head, an icy sensation spreading throughout her body. Oh. God. “Jason…wasn’t working that night. Not…that way.”

Bobbie squinted. “What do you mean?”

“He…wasn’t—” Elizabeth hesitated. “I can’t…get into it, but Jason going to a warehouse with his gun? That wasn’t supposed to happen. It’s been driving me insane all week because we had plans. He was supposed to meet with AJ’s lawyer to turn over guardianship—but he canceled that meeting.”

“Right,” Bobbie said faintly. “What…what time did you see her?”

“Around three. She went straight to Jason, and he canceled the meeting after she left.” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “Whatever she said to him…he went to that warehouse. The voicemail that Taggert told me about? He left it for me after she came to see him. He must have.”

“Elizabeth—”

“She’s been manipulating this situation since the moment she came home, Bobbie. C’mon.” Elizabeth shoved back the chair and stood up. “She was watching Jason. She knew when we were alone because that’s when she called him. She refused to tell him what was going on. But somehow, that day, she told him. Why?”

“I…thought maybe she realized she wasn’t going to get her way—” Bobbie sighed. “What happened when you saw her?”

“She looked like hell and wanted to know why AJ had Michael. I gave her a play by play, and she seemed…to understand what Jason’s choices were. But why did she want to know that day?” Elizabeth shook her head. “I’m done. I can’t wait anymore.”

“Elizabeth—”

The doorbell rang before Bobbie could finish and she went to answer the door. On her front step, Monica stood, her eyes worried, her fingers clutching the strap of her purse. “Is Elizabeth here?”

“Monica?” Elizabeth appeared over Bobbie’s shoulder. “Oh, God…did you hear anything?”

“No.” Monica’s voice wobbled, but she swallowed hard and kept speaking. “I was hoping you had.”

Bobbie stepped back to allow Jason’s mother to step inside the foyer. “Monica—”

“I know what everyone else does,” Elizabeth said, folding her arms and looking at the floor. “But I haven’t heard from Jason in a week.”

“How—” Monica shook her head. “That’s not like him, is it? Elizabeth—”

“He’s gone out of town without telling me,” Elizabeth admitted, “but not since we started dating. We weren’t really…back then. But, no…” She swallowed hard. “This…this isn’t something he would do to me. He…the last time I saw him—” She couldn’t hold back the tears. “He asked me to move in with him—”

“You didn’t say anything,” Bobbie murmured, putting an arm around Elizabeth’s shoulders. “Oh, sweetheart.”

“I thought someone would call. That I would find out—” Elizabeth shook her head. “I don’t understand what’s going on. Why—” She used the heels of her palms to swipe away her tears. “I have to go. I’m going to see Sonny.”

“I thought they wouldn’t let you in to see him,” Bobbie said with a frown. “He’s supposed to be out of town—”

“Do you think one of those guards on the way up to the penthouse is going to stop me?” she demanded. “Just let them try.”

She stalked back to the dining table and returned with her purse looped over her arm. “I’ve put up with this for too long.”

She stormed past both Bobbie and Monica, slamming the door behind her.

“Monica—”

The doctor turned back to Bobbie with her own tears. “I’m so terrified, Bobbie, that someone is going to knock on my door to tell me he’s dead.”

Bobbie folded her old friend into a tight embrace and prayed that day wouldn’t happen.

Port Charles Police Department: Interrogation Room

Carly shifted in the hard wooden seat and scowled at Taggert who sat sprawled in a chair across from her. “Am I under arrest?” she demanded. “Because I want a lawyer—”

“You’re free to leave whenever you want.”

“Good.” She jumped up and started for the door.

“Of course, if you don’t want to help us find Jason Morgan, that’s your problem.”

Carly scowled, turned back to him. “Jason’s fine. He’s out of town doing something for Sonny. Who do you think you’re playing?”

“Yeah?” Taggert twisted in his seat with a shrug. “We found shell casings matching a gun registered to him—”

“The type of gun,” Carly corrected with clenched teeth. Fucking assholes trying to get over on her. Jason was fine. He was pissed at her, but he was fine.

He was out of town, fixing this for her. She knew that, and she would be patient for the first time in her life. She would wait for Jason.

“We found blood—”

“With someone else’s blood type,” Carly snapped.

Taggert tossed a folder on the desk. “Sure, the blood with the brain matter. What about the other blood?”

Carly stopped, stared at the folder. Swallowed. “What’s in that?”

“Sit down and I’ll tell you.”

And so, against her better judgment, Carly returned to the chair, perching on the edge of the seat. “What other blood?” she demanded.

Taggert opened the folder and set out a crime scene photo. “We found a couple areas with blood spatter. Two of them were the same. A body was moved from upstairs downstairs, we figure. Someone was shot near the back exit. And two more people…” Taggert tapped a dark gray spot. “They were both shot next to the dumping spot for the body we don’t have.”

Carly swallowed. “So?” she managed. “That doesn’t—”

“Four sets of DNA. Four men were shot in that warehouse. Two of the blood spatters match Jason Morgan’s blood type. We’re waiting on an official match through DNA, but—” Taggert shrugged. “We’ll have that in a few weeks.”

In her lap, Carly’s hands clenched into fists. This was a trick. Somehow…this was a lie. “How much blood—”

“Someone tried to clean it up, but to survive the amount of blood loss?” Taggert shrugged. “You better hope someone got him to a doctor.”

Carly closed her eyes. “Jason is out of town.”

“Then you know more than his girlfriend, and I find that hard to believe.”

Carly scowled. Was that goddamn troll talking to the cops? “No way Elizabeth Webber says a word to you—”

“She doesn’t have to.” Taggert tilted his head. “I live in the same building, Carly. Before last week? Morgan was over a lot. Elizabeth spent most of her nights out. She’s walking around like a ghost. If he was hurt, you think she wouldn’t be with him?”

God, Carly wanted to argue with that, but the last time she knew for sure Jason had been shot—he’d let Elizabeth take care of him. He’d pushed Carly away. Turned to the little princess.

“Maybe he’s called her.”

“We’ve got her phone records.” Taggert tossed a report to her. “He called her six times. Last Friday. At 4:40 in the afternoon, he left her one voicemail. Nothing since then. So… you tell me that Jason is out of town. How do you know that?”

“He…has to be out of town,” Carly said, but it was less sure. Less adamant. God, had she gotten him killed?

“What I think happened is that Jason went to that warehouse and was ambushed. Maybe Sonny Corinthos cleaned up the scene as much as he could. Maybe Jason’s just hurt somewhere, laying low. Lying to his girlfriend like the bastard I know he is—”

“He wouldn’t do that,” Carly snapped without thinking. Oh, God. He would never do that. He would never put someone he loved through the worry and the pain. She knew that. Oh, God. He was dead.

Carly shoved the photos away. “Are we done here?” she asked, her voice shaking. “Am I under arrest?”

“Sonny isn’t going to tell you what happened to him. You’re out in the cold, Carly. Everyone is pissed at you for what happened. And maybe Sonny won’t ever tell anyone what happened. Maybe Jason will just disappear.”

Carly shook her head. “No—”

“Maybe he’ll just fade away. Everyone will forget him. Your son? Too young to remember him—”

“You don’t even like Jason—”

“I like Elizabeth Webber,” Taggert interrupted. “She deserves better than what she’s getting. I like your mother. Monica Quartermaine. Lila Quartermaine. The people who love Jason Morgan deserve to know what happened to him even if it’s just to close the door. So, whatever you know, Carly—and we both know that you know something—you need to tell me.”

“If I am not under arrest,” Carly said, rising to her feet again. “I’m leaving.”

“Go ahead.” Taggert sat back. “I just hope you can sleep at night.”

Safe House: Bedroom

Johnny O’Brien scowled at the doctor as he watched the man attach another bag of morphine to the IV stand next to the double bed where Jason slept fitfully.

“Sonny asked you to keep the pain meds coming, didn’t he?” Johnny demanded.

The doctor hesitated, then nodded. “He wanted to keep Jason sedated through the worst of the recovery,” he mumbled.

“Stop it.” Johnny nodded at the bag. “That’s the last dose I want him to have. It’s been a week—”

“I take my orders from Sonny—”

“He’s not here,” Johnny said with a roll of his eyes. “And eventually, Jason is going to wake up and realize he’s slept for a week.” He waited a moment. “Sonny is keeping Jason sedated because when Jason wakes up—he’s going to expect to see his girlfriend here. He thinks Sonny told her he was hurt. He asked Sonny to bring her.”

The doctor carefully completed the hook up for the morphine drop and sighed. “Yeah, I know. Her name is Elizabeth, right? He asks for her when he manages to surface.”

“Sonny wanted you to keep him sedated for a while, but it wasn’t supposed to be this long. I promised him twenty-four hours. We’ve given him six days. So, when I say that’s the last dose, I mean it. You’re not giving him anymore meds.”

The doctor waited a long moment, then nodded. “We’ll start weaning him off. He should come around fully in about two days.” He met Johnny’s eyes. “This wasn’t my choice.”

“Yeah, well, you could have refused,” Johnny muttered. “And when Jason figures out we’ve been lying our asses off and keeping him trapped in a bed all week, drugged out of his mind, we’re all going to get killed.”

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

Sonny heard the voices in the hallway before Max knocked on his door and opened it slightly. He nodded to Benny, who closed some folders and drew some newspapers over another set of paperwork.

“Miss Webber is here.”

Sonny furrowed his brow, but nodded to wave her in. He’d been putting off this conversation for days, and honestly, he should have been prepared for this.

Elizabeth strode in, yanking her arm out of the grasp of a younger guard who had apparently been trying to keep her from storming the penthouse.

“Where is he?” she demanded after Sonny closed the door, leaving Max and the guard out in the hallway. “Where is he? Is he all right?”

“Elizabeth—”

“Why did you lie to me?” Her eyes were red, exhaustion in the lines of her face—she looked as though she hadn’t slept in days. “Why did you ignore my phone calls and send someone to tell me you weren’t in town?”

“Elizabeth.” Sonny tipped his head back, took a deep breath, and steeled himself for the conversation to follow. “You know better—”

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Sonny.” She stabbed a finger at him. “Don’t you dare patronize me like I’m a scared kid looking for Jason. You did that before. You tried to make me feel like an idiot—well that’s not happening. Not today.”

“You always knew there were things you couldn’t know—”

“No, I knew there were things you wouldn’t tell me,” she retorted. “But it’s been a week. Jason is gone. And I know something happened that night—”

“Elizabeth—”

“Just shut up. Stop lying to me!” She cried, her hands trembling as she dragged them through her hair. “Jason’s out. He told me he wasn’t working for you the way he was before. That you wanted people to think he was out.”

Sonny hissed under his breath. “He shouldn’t have—”

“It doesn’t matter. I know Jason wasn’t supposed to go any warehouse that night. He was supposed to be with me—” Her voice broke. “He asked me to move in with him, Sonny. We are planning a future together. I have the right to know—”

“You have the right to know what I tell you,” Sonny said, a bit more sharply than he’d intended to and the anger in his voice turned her face white. “You don’t ask about business, Elizabeth. That’s the rule—”

“Yeah? How about I ask about Carly then?” she shot back. “She came to see Jason that day. Bobbie told me she did. And I know that Jason called me. Taggert pulled the phone logs. He left a voicemail, but they don’t know what he said.”

Sonny exhaled slowly. “I know that, Elizabeth. Alexis is fighting it—”

“Everything I know about Friday night is because Taggert told me. He told me about the phone calls I never got because I forgot my goddamn phone—” Her voice was climbing until she was nearly screaming. “I know his blood was in a warehouse, that he was there, with his gun—”

“Sonny,” Benny murmured, as he rose to his feet. “C’mon—”

Elizabeth seemed to notice him for the first time, her bloodshot eyes taking in his sadness. His worry. “You know where he is?”

“Elizabeth, look…” Sonny waited until she looked back at him, Benny subsiding back into silence. “The truth is that I don’t know anything more than Taggert does.”

“What?” Her voice trembled. She shook her head. “That’s not—”

“I haven’t seen Jason since Friday night, either. I haven’t heard from him.”

“B-But—” She was still shaking her head. “You didn’t—”

“I don’t know what happened. I don’t know if he’s okay.”

Her shoulders slumped. “Why…why wouldn’t you just say that? Why did you have to—” She pressed her lips together, closed her eyes. “But that’s good. Because that means Jason is lying low. He’s not calling you either. You would know if he was gone.”

“I’d hope so,” Sonny said. The shame of his lies made him look away. “Elizabeth, he wouldn’t want you to worry. So…just go about your life. When this dies down, he’ll get in touch with both of us.”

She opened her eyes and looked at him…and he had a peculiar feeling that maybe…just maybe…she could see right through him. “I know you don’t think I should know anything about business, Sonny. That’s fine. But this isn’t business. This isn’t just me. I’m not the only person terrified. Monica came by the Brownstone today. Jason has family who worry about him. You’re keeping me out of loop to prove a fucking point, and it’s bullshit. Jason knows he can trust me. I just wish you did, too.”

The door slammed so hard behind her that the door frame rattled. Sonny exhaled and turned to the mini, pouring himself a double bourbon.

“You’re making a mistake.”

Benny’s quiet voice broke into Sonny’s misery. He turned, the tumbler in his hand. “Benny—”

“And I’m not thinking about what just happened here, though Elizabeth Webber is correct. Had you brought her in, told her Jason was all right—there would be a lot less suspicion. She could have backed up Jason being out of town. The police are all over this. Digging into everything.  Because Jason broke pattern, and he left her hanging.”

“We had to make everyone think he was out of commission—”

“You’re creating problems we don’t need. Jason is loyal to you. He’s proved that.” Benny tapped the papers he was covering. “And he wouldn’t agree to do what you’re planning.”

“They’re not making a move. They’re not taking advantage of Jason’s absence,” Sonny muttered, even as the disgust licked at his throat. He was sick to his stomach just thinking about it. “They don’t think he’s hurt enough. They will when we’re done.”

“And when Jason comes back?” Benny asked. “When he finds out what you’ve done? How will you ever justify it?”

“I don’t have to justify anything,” Sonny snapped. “Someone is coming after me. You know why they went for Jason? To get at me. To make it easier to get to me. They already came for Carly. Who’s next? Who is my family, huh? Courtney? Mike?” Sonny shook his head. “No, they won’t go for them. They’ll go for Elizabeth. For Michael. For the people I chose to make my family. Elizabeth can hate me all she wants. Jason can hate me, too. But I’m doing this for them.”

“Sonny—”

“And if you don’t agree, well then…” Sonny shrugged. “I’ll find someone who does. This is going to happen.”

Benny hesitated for a long moment. “It’s too late to stop it now,” he admitted. “If they think Jason is just hiding—they might get desperate enough to try to draw him out.”

“That’s right,” Sonny muttered. “They’ll go after Elizabeth or Michael next to make sure Jason is gone. I gotta stop that. I gotta keep that from happening. How long?”

“Maybe three days to make the arrangements. Another day or two to plant the evidence. Do you think they’ll wait that long?”

“Keep the guards on Elizabeth and Michael. Especially Elizabeth. She’s the easiest target. No one takes kids unless they have to.” Sonny hesitated. “I don’t like this anymore than you do, Benny. But you don’t stay alive in this business unless you make the tough decisions.”

Benny didn’t look convinced, but he sat down and returned to his paperwork while Sonny tossed back the double bourbon, hoping the burning liquid would wash away the disgust and the shame.

It didn’t.

Maybe there’s a God above
All I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
And it’s not a cry that you hear at night
It’s not somebody who’s seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah
– Hallelujah, Rufus Wainwright

---

Friday, September 6, 2002

Pier 52: Warehouse

Jason parked the SUV and looked at the man in the passenger seat. Johnny O’Brien, their warehouse manager and Sonny’s top enforcer at the moment, was checking the clip in his handgun.

“Is Richie in place?” Jason asked, squinting. “Did he say?”

“Yeah, he got there about ten minutes ago. Scoped out the place and found a spot to cover both exits. He’s ready.” Johnny hesitated. “Are we sure this is the way we want to handle it? Maybe it would be better if we just didn’t show up.”

Jason shook his head. “No. If someone is watching Carly, they know she came to me today. They know I want to know where she’s been. I’ve run around town for the last two weeks proving that I jump when she calls. If I don’t show up, they’ll be on to her.”

“So?” Johnny muttered. “You slap a guard on her idiot ass and move on—” When Jason scowled, Johnny shrugged. “Hey, it’s not like I wish her ill, Jase, but she put everyone in danger last year when she turned on Sonny. And no one’s really ever liked that much to begin with.”

“They want me out of the loop, Johnny. I need to know what we’re up against—”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. I’ll follow orders.” He shoved open the door. “I’ll take the back exit, you take the front.”

“Yeah.”

They split up. Jason tugged his gun from behind his back and held it low in front of him as he crept towards the entrance of the abandoned warehouse where Carly had been told to send him.

Why this place? Did they think he would go anywhere Carly asked? Jason shared Johnny’s doubts, and Benny had been skeptical that this would be worth the effort. But if they could just get their hands on one of the guys sent by Roscoe—maybe they could get somewhere.

This life was always risky, but Jason preferred it when the risk was legal, not mortal. Most of the time, the danger was getting arrested, or being on the wrong end of a police raid. Territory squabbles were minimal, particularly this far from New York City.

There was always someone lower in the ranks who wanted to make their bones by taking out someone closer to the top, but Sonny usually ran an effective organization—those kinds of men were weeded out before any real damage was done.

Every once in a while, though there was a Moreno or a Sorel who wanted their own piece and didn’t want to share. And Jason was tired of taking bullets for assholes who wanted power they couldn’t handle.

The door to the warehouse was hanging off its hinges, the larger garage door to the truck entrance was dilapidated and looked as if it hadn’t been opened for business in years.

Jason hesitated before opening the door. Even if Carly hadn’t told him it was a trap, his instincts would have been screaming it by now. Had they expected Carly to come clean?

But he pushed open the door, the hinges creaking in the cavernous open space. There were stacks of packing crates, cardboard boxes with papers spilling out of the sagging sides. The odor of mildew and mold seeped into his nostrils.

He made it no more than ten feet into the room before he saw a black boot sticking out from behind a pile of packing crates. The hair on the back of his neck stood up as he moved closer. He kicked the boot and raised his gun—

It was Richie, their best sniper. He was lying on his back, his arms and legs spread eagle across the cement floor. His eyes were wide open, staring at the ceiling. A small round bullet hole in his forehead. No blood on the floor around him, which meant he’d been placed here.

Damn it. Jason spun around at Johnny’s shout. At the sound of gunfire—

And then he felt the first bullet slam into his upper chest, the hot metal digging through muscles and tendons. Another in his shoulder. He grunted and fell back, getting off his own shot in the process. Another bullet in his leg.

And then he was on the cement ground, choking. A man walked towards him. Jason’s vision was beginning to blur—the first bullet must have sliced an artery because he couldn’t catch his breath.

He could see the dim outline of a gun as it pointed straight at his head. Jason closed his eyes. Elizabeth’s smile, her eyes flashed in front of his face.

Another shot echoed in the room, and Jason choked, struggling—a man’s weight slumped over him. “Jesus fucking Christ, Morgan—” Johnny’s voice faded as Jason couldn’t manage to stay awake.

The world dimmed and he closed his eyes.

Saturday, September 7, 2002

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Every hour that passed added another layer of uncertainty and terror. The clock struck six. Seven. Eight. Nine.

Courtney’s shift finished at ten, and AJ came to pick her up, but Courtney refused to leave. She was too worried about Elizabeth. So AJ called the babysitter with Michael and sat down to wait with them.

Because Jason hadn’t called. And neither he nor Sonny were picking up their phones.

By eleven and closing, Gia had joined them and the four of them sat around a table in the back, Courtney having put together a pot of coffee and served it.

Elizabeth’s mug was ice cold and untouched by midnight.

She called Alexis, finally, but Jason and Sonny’s lawyer hadn’t heard from them either. Jason had called her to cancel the meeting, but she knew nothing beyond that. Nothing she could share. Gia, who had started an internship in Alexis’s office the week before, could offer nothing else.

Jason and Sonny had not answered any phone calls in eight hours.

Elizabeth still refused to go to the warehouse or get her phone from Jake’s. She couldn’t. If she took any action that suggested something was wrong…then something was wrong.

And she knew that in Jason’s life, when something went wrong, and he was out of touch, it was never good. And for Sonny to be gone as well—

Around twelve-thirty, AJ shifted and sighed. He drew Courtney out of her seat and pulled her towards the entrance. “I’m going to go home and relieve the babysitter,” he murmured to Courtney. “Call me when you know something.”

“I can go…” But Courtney’s voice faded, and she looked at Elizabeth. “But I want to be here.” She looked at AJ. “You must be scared, too. I should stay with you—”

“I am,” AJ admitted. “But not as scared as she is. I can least admit that something is wrong. She’s not there yet.” He kissed her cheek. “She needs you more than I do right now.”

“What if something happened?” Courtney asked, her voice trembling. “What if he’s hurt? God, AJ. Gia and I pushed her towards him.”

“Hey.” He shook his head. “Let’s not think that way. Odds are that he got hurt, and Sonny’s being a dick and keeping it from everyone. He’ll get in touch when he can. Jason’s too stubborn for anything else—”

“He’s not Superman,” Courtney muttered, but she watched AJ leave and turned back to the table where Gia and Elizabeth still sat. Gia was attempting to study, to turn this into anything other than what Courtney knew this was.

Waiting for someone to deliver devastation.

Safe House: Living Room

Sonny rocked back on his heels as he waited for the doctor to emerge from the back room. At a table, Benny was restless, going through the same paperwork he’d been looking at for the last four hours. Sonny didn’t think he was even reading the words at this point.

Johnny was grimacing at the sling hanging over his left shoulder and attempting to drink a beer with his right, less dominant hand.

Jason had required surgery to repair a partially severed artery in his chest, and only Johnny’s quick first aid had kept Sonny’s partner from bleeding out as they transported him to the only safe house with a sterilized surgery in one of the bedrooms.

And still, it was touch and go.

Johnny had suggested maybe calling Elizabeth—Jason had asked for her in the car, his words slurring, but the request had been repeated several times.

Sonny knew that Elizabeth was waiting for Jason, that he was supposed to pick her up from Kelly’s. He had picked up his phone to call her more than once. Not to tell her Jason was hurt, but just that he couldn’t be in touch.

But something held him back. By now, Elizabeth must be worried. It was after midnight—the diner closed at eleven. Hell, she must be terrified. She’d called Sonny’s phone three times, twice in the last hour alone.

Sonny hadn’t answered any of those calls. He didn’t know if Jason would survive the bullet wound, and God, he did not want to be the one to tell her. She would be able to hear it in his voice. And she was probably with Gia or his sister. Maybe even Bobbie.

No one could know that Jason had been shot. They had gotten one of the shooters, but he’d died before Johnny could ask him any questions, and the gunfire had been called into the PCPD. They had barely been able to remove Richie and the other body from the warehouse before the cops had showed up.

And…this was how it was supposed to work. There were things Elizabeth couldn’t know. She’d only known the last time Jason had been shot because she found him. If Carly hadn’t been there—if Sonny hadn’t betrayed him—Jason would have recuperated in a safe house and Elizabeth would never have been brought into it.

Jason always told Elizabeth more than Sonny wanted her to know. No one had been supposed to know Jason was in town the year before—but Jason had gone straight to her, like a goddamn moth to the flame. Had put her in danger. Again.

No, it was better this way. Better to wait until he had something to tell her.

And Jason needed to be out of commission. If no word was had from him, if no one knew where he was—whoever had gone after Jason might step it up. Make more mistakes. Sonny had to know who was coming after him.

The doctor finally emerged, his eyes lined with exhaustion, a blood stained towel in his hand. “I’ve stabilized him for now.”

Sonny exhaled slowly as Johnny and Benny got to their feet. “For now?” he echoed.

“He lost of a lot of blood,” the doctor said with a mutter. “He should be in the hospital. I’ve sedated him, and I’ll leave the necessary medication—I’ll have to get a few things, but he’s going to be weak. Woozy for a while. If I can get my hands on blood for a transfusion—”

“But he’ll make it—”

“Barring infection, as long he doesn’t move around—” The doctor shrugged. “Sure. Lucky son of a bitch.”

“I’ll call Elizabeth,” Johnny interrupted, reaching for his phone. “She must be out of her mind—”

“No, no.” Sonny held out his hand. “Not yet.”

“Sonny—the warehouse shooting was called into the police. If the PCPD haven’t harassed her yet, they will—”

The doctor, seeing that he was no longer needed, returned to his patient as Johnny gave Sonny a questioning look. “Jason’s going to ask for her the minute he wakes up—”

“We’ll put him off. He’ll understand once he’s alert.” Sonny shook his head. “They wanted to eliminate him tonight, Johnny. We gotta do what we can to make sure Jason stays out of commission—”

“Boss, I agree, but I don’t see what that has to do with Elizabeth. We can make arrangements to bring her here in secrecy—” Benny began.

“What does Roscoe know right now?” Sonny demanded. “He knows that Richie is dead—” and he took a moment for that, because Richie had been working with them for years and had always been reliable. “Maybe he knows Jason was shot. He knows that the cops were called, but none of our guys were left on the scene.”

“Which means they think Jason’s alive, which the opposite of what they were trying to do,” Johnny argued. “So this is just bullshit—”

“But if Jason doesn’t turn up, if Elizabeth doesn’t disappear—” Benny sighed. “Roscoe knows how we operate. It’s how everyone operates. Jason’s injured enough to go MIA, he’s out of the way. I don’t like it, but I think we gotta hold off making any moves for at least twenty four hours.”

Sonny nodded. “Elizabeth knows how this works. She’ll be worried, but it’ll be temporary and Jason will be too out of to know any better. It’s just for a little while, okay?”

“You’ll be the one explaining it to Jason,” Johnny muttered. “But fine.”

Jake’s: Van Ess Street

Around one in the morning, Elizabeth gave up.

Jason was two hours late picking her up. Phone calls to Sonny and Jason were still not being returned, and Elizabeth was ready to give in.

Something had happened. Something bad.

They dropped Courtney off at her house first—Courtney was reluctant to leave, but Elizabeth told her that AJ needed her, too. He was at home with Michael, and they’d keep her in the loop.

Gia drove her to Jake’s first to get her phone—but there were police cars out front, and the bar was clearly closed for the night.

“Do you want me to go ask questions?” Gia asked as their car sat idling a few spaces back from the bar as the red and blue lights flashed, illuminating the stark white pallor of Elizabeth’s face. “Maybe it was just another bar fight.”

“No.” Elizabeth cleared her throat. She nodded at the men walking out. “That’s a crime scene unit—you see their jackets? They’re looking for something. And Jason is Jake’s only tenant right now.” She swallowed. “Go to the warehouse.”

Gia muttered something under her breath but pulled the car back out onto the street and drove the mile that separated the bar from the docks.

More police cars surrounded the piers, and the entrance to the Elm Street Pier was closed off entirely. There was another set of crime scene tech guys milling about in the parking lot, as if waiting for clearance. Here, Elizabeth saw more than that. She recognized the curly hair of the police commissioner, and the long dark hair of Detective Andy Capelli.

Her heart was pounding. Her mouth was dry. “They’re at the warehouse. They’re at Jake’s.”

“I’ll call my brother,” Gia said, offering for what must have been the tenth time that night. But this time, Elizabeth closed her eyes and nodded.

She waited long enough, and if anyone wanted to take her to task, she’d tell them to go to hell. She had a right to know what the hell was going on, and if no one wanted to tell her—

She’d find out for herself.

“Marcus, I’m with Elizabeth. We’re at the warehouse—” Gia scowled. “No, we’re in the car. Look—stop talking for five seconds and I’ll tell you why I’m calling—Okay. Okay.” She hung up, took a deep breath, and put her phone back in her bag.

“Marcus wants us to go back to our place and wait for him. He has questions for you.”

“Did—” Elizabeth licked her lips. Forced the words out. “Did he say where Jason was?”

“He refused. This doesn’t mean anything, Liz. You know that. My brother, the PCPD—they’re assholes in general. They could have Jason in a holding cell—”

“Without telling Alexis?”

“Maybe,” Gia said with some hesitation. “You know they can get desperate—”

“Gia, let’s just go home and wait for your brother.” Elizabeth closed her eyes and tried to breathe. In and out. In and out.

She could do this. She was strong. She had survived the worst life could throw at her. This was nothing. Piece of cake.

Palm Beach, Florida

Ruiz Compound: Hector Ruiz’s Study

Zander grimaced as he was shown into the inner sanctum of the Ruiz family’s seat of power. It was a hot, muggy night, and even the open terraced villa that Hector had constructed looking over the ocean didn’t provide any relief from the miserable, heavy humidity.

It was after one in the morning, and he’d been pulled from a comfortable bed with a sexy woman in order to answer the summons of Hector Ruiz.

Inside the study, Hector sat behind his desk, a man leaning toward his late sixties with olive skin, salt and pepper hair slicked back, and mean dark eyes.

He sat across from Luis Alcazar, each with a tumbler of liquor and a cigar in hand as if it wasn’t one-thirty in the fucking morning.

Assholes.

“Smith. You made good time.” Ruiz gestured at him with his cigar. “Luis has some news for us.”

“News, and some questions.” Neither men rose nor indicated that Zander would be taking a seat or offered his own drink or cigar. This was obviously not a social call.

“There was a shooting tonight on Pier 52,” Luis said.

Zander hesitated. “Your ambush happened?”

“That’s what I want to know,” Luis murmured. He shifted to face Zander more directly. “You heard that Carly Corinthos’ death had been exaggerated slightly?”

“She was your plan?” Zander asked with raised brows. “You used her to lure Jason into an ambush?”

“I had hoped to turn her more forcefully,” Luis admitted. “I had…hopes she could be twisted entirely. She’s known for her rash decisions. Her anger—” He sighed. “But I have reasons to believe it did not go as I had intended.”

“Well, what did happen?” And why the fuck had he been dragged from his bed for this?

“Gunfire was reported. Blood was found,” Luis continued. “One of Roscoe’s men was shot, the other escaped. He seemed convinced that Jason had been mortally injured—he saw a shot to the chest. But no one has been admitted to the hospital. Does Corinthos have off site medical assistance for a serious injury like this?”

“Probably,” Zander admitted. “He might also be licking his wounds with a shot to the arm.”

“If he’s not dead, we gotta go again,” Ruiz began, but Zander shook his head. “Why not? You said Jason had to be eliminated—”

“If he took a shot to the chest, he’s going to go under. The last thing Sonny needs is an actual injury on his hands. The cops will crawl all over Jason. Blood being found doesn’t mean much. It could be from anything. No telling they can even prove who it belongs to.” Zander shrugged. “You wait a few days, Jason doesn’t surface, then he’s badly injured—”

“But he’s not eliminated—”

“You want to take out Sonny Corinthos, don’t you?” Zander demanded. “Here’s your chance. Jason’s out of commission. You get Nico or Roscoe to take the hit, Sonny will go after them. Your hands will be clean. You don’t want the territory, so what do you care if Nico and Roscoe take the fall. Nico doesn’t even know your name, and Roscoe will be probably be eliminated before he has a chance to say your name. He’ll go out in a blaze of glory before they take him alive.”

“I like this kid,” Hector said with a grin. “He thinks through all the angles. Why the hell did Corinthos let him go?”

“Because I think for myself, and I put myself first.” Zander shrugged. “Corinthos still thinks he’s Vito Corleone.”

Luis tipped his head. “What makes you think I don’t want the territory?” he asked coolly.

“Because by now you know that Nico and Roscoe are morons which is why they’ve never been able to step up when someone else was available. There’s a reason they stayed beneath Moreno and Sorel. Why they’re basically third string.”

“So?”

“If you wanted the territory, you wouldn’t be a silent partner. You wouldn’t let Roscoe and Nico take the lead. You wouldn’t have sent me away to keep me under the radar. You wouldn’t have faked Sonny Corinthos’s ex-wife’s death. You don’t want the territory. You want to destroy the man.”

“He’s got you there, my old friend.” Hector raised bushy brows at Luis. “I’ve never liked Corinthos, but what do you have against him?”

“That is my concern. After he is gone, you can do what you like with Morgan.” Luis blew out a stream of thin smoke out from his lips. “Because you’re right. I want to eliminate the man. Nothing else matters.”

Elizabeth & Gia’s Apartment: Living Room

It was nearly two in the morning by the time Gia let her exhausted brother through the front door of their apartment.

Elizabeth was curled on the sofa, staring at their land line. Begging silently for it to ring. For someone to make this nightmare go away.

Taggert looked at the two of them, at Elizabeth sitting, at Gia standing in front of him, and his shoulders slumped. “Hell, you don’t know anything more than me, do you?”

“Do you know why the police were at Jake’s and the warehouse?” Elizabeth asked listlessly. “Because that’s more than I know.”

Taggert sighed. “We got reports of gunfire at an old warehouse near Pier 52. It’s one of Anthony Moreno’s old holding companies. It’s been wasting away for three years and it looks like a pile of crap. When we got there, we found blood on the ground, some places where someone had clearly been laying—and spent casings from bullets that match the type of gun Jason Morgan has registered in his name.”

“But no one was there,” Gia said slowly.

“No.” Taggert hesitated. “But we also can’t find Morgan. We’re trying to get his phone records. We’re executing search warrants. Sonny Corinthos is MIA. Elizabeth, listen—”

“How much blood?” she asked softly. “Because you know, it’s a warehouse. People get hurt.”

“We found some blood upstairs—a lot.” He paused. “And some…brain matter. We’re having it tested, but the preliminary blood type did not come back to Morgan.”

She closed her eyes, exhaled slowly. “Okay.”

“You haven’t heard from him?”

“The last time I saw Jason was when he dropped me off for work around eleven. I was working from twelve until closing.” Elizabeth rubbed her eyes, trying to get her brain to think. To focus. “He was supposed to do some paperwork at the warehouse, and then meet with AJ and some lawyers about Carly and Michael.”

“He was supposed to have that meeting at six, but AJ said it got canceled about five—at least that’s when his lawyer called AJ,” Gia volunteered. “And that’s the last anyone has heard from him.”

“My phone is at Jake’s,” Elizabeth said. “So if he called me, I wouldn’t know. He—” She swallowed hard. “He doesn’t call the land line at Kelly’s. Or at least he didn’t today.”

“Okay.” Taggert nodded. “Okay.” He waited a moment. “If you hear from him, would you tell me?” His tone was gentle. Compassionate. So at odds with the way he usually spoke—God, if he thought Jason was dead…

“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “If I can…I will.”

“I appreciate that.” He touched her shoulder gently. “Okay.”

Gia showed him out and closed the door behind him. “You were pretty cooperative,” she murmured.

“Two hours—” She looked at the clock on the wall. “Three hours since Jason was supposed to pick me up. Jason wouldn’t let me worry like this. Maybe once he would have left town and not told me. It was different before. We’re different now.”

She thought they were different.

“And what I told Taggert? It’s nothing that AJ and Courtney probably wouldn’t tell him. No state secrets.” Her lips twisted. “And if Sonny didn’t want me to talk to the cops, then maybe he should have called me.”

“You don’t think something happened to Sonny?” Gia asked with raised eyebrows.

“That’s not how this works. Jason went somewhere tonight. Something went wrong. And Sonny is mopping it up. He’s keeping me out of the loop.”

Her roommate exhaled slowly. “That’s cold—”

“That’s Sonny.” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “If he doesn’t come to see me tomorrow…then I’ll start to worry. For now…I just have to keep my cool. This is the life. I love Jason. I’m in this. I just…” She let her legs fall to the ground. “I thought he might be coming to notify me that they had Jason’s body.”

“But they don’t have any bodies.”

“Which means the warehouse was cleaned up. There was time for that. So until someone tells me differently, Jason is somewhere where he can’t contact me, and Sonny isn’t getting in touch.”

“Okay.”

Elizabeth rose to her feet. “I’m going to try to get some sleep.”

Safe House: Bedroom

Between Benny, the doctor, and Sonny, they managed to transfer Jason to a bedroom with an IV. Jason was pale, sweating, like a furnace to the touch—an infection was already setting in.

“Elizabeth,” Jason murmured, stirring slightly. His eyes were slits, just a mixture of blue and red underneath the pale lids. “Did you…”

“Hey, she’s fine. I’ve got it handled,” Sonny murmured, eyeing Johnny with a warning glance. “You better not make her cry for you, man.”

“Tell her…” Jason exhaled slowly, his head lolling to one side, his voice fading in and out. “No soup.”

“No soup?” Johnny repeated, but Sonny shook his head.

“Got it. I’ll let her know.” He nodded to the doctor, and then exited the room with Benny and Johnny. “What’s going on back home?” he asked once they returned to the living room.

“Cops are all over the warehouse,” Benny said. “And they’ve closed Jake’s as a crime scene, so they suspect Jason is involved. Our guy at the Brownstone says Taggert went inside briefly, then left. No guarantee he talked to Miss Webber, but—”

“Odds are,” Sonny murmured. “We go talk to her now, the cops will know. Taggert is too close to Elizabeth. He knows her movements. We bring her here and it’s nothing but problems—”

“That doesn’t mean we don’t tell her,” Johnny hissed.

“We need to let things cool down,” Sonny said with a shake of his head. “She can’t be involved. Jason wouldn’t want her in the middle with the cops. Hey, Elizabeth knows how this works.”

“This is bullshit,” Johnny muttered. But he had his orders, so he swallowed and looked away.

Sonny dismissed them both as he returned to Jason’s room. “Hey, I’m going back to Port Charles,” he murmured, perching on the edge of the double bed. “The doc and Johnny are going to hang out here. Take care of you.”

“Elizabeth,” Jason managed. “Bringing her?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna bring her when I come back. She’ll be glad to see you.” Sonny rose and met the doctor at the door. He hesitated, waiting for Jason to slip back into unconscious. “You’ll do what I told you?”

“Keep him sedated on pain meds for a few days?” the doctor replied in a low voice. “He hates them—”

“He’s too delirious to know better. I’ll be in touch.”

Sonny intended to keep his promise — he would try to stay away until it was time for Elizabeth to be told. He would bring her here just as soon as it was safe. He knew Jason wanted her to know he was okay, but Elizabeth was stronger than Jason gave her credit for.

As soon as Roscoe made his move, as soon as Sonny knew who the hell was coming for him—well then, this would all be over.

Through this world I’ve stumbled
So many times betrayed,
Trying to find an honest word,
To find the truth enslaved,
Oh you speak to me in riddles and
You speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath,
Your words keep me alive
– Possession, Sarah McLachlan

---

Friday, September 6, 2002

Jake’s: Jason’s Room

Elizabeth squinted at her textbook. “What made me think I wanted to major in business again?”

“You thought you should know what you were doing with Kelly’s.” Jason dropped a kiss on top of her head as he set coffee down in front of her. “Sorry—it’s from down the street.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Maybe Jake will let us have a hot plate or a coffee machine in here. You should look into it—”

“Maybe.” Jason sat across from her at the small table currently covered with textbooks, folders, and notebooks. “You don’t like coffee enough to worry about it.”

“You don’t have to like something to appreciate its benefits.” Elizabeth sipped the glorious caffeine. “After January, I won’t need it as much. I won’t have to schedule my shifts around my class schedule, and I think one of the benefits of being manager is I shouldn’t have to work opening. No need for coffee when you’re not dragging your ass out of bed at four-thirty.”

She hesitated a moment before asking, “Are you and AJ still meeting with your attorneys today?”

“Yeah.” Jason rubbed his temple with his thumb. “Yeah. Carly…should be served on Monday. Once I surrender guardianship to AJ…I’m out of it. She won’t have an excuse not to tell me.” He paused. “You still don’t like this idea.”

“Anything that gives Carly more of a reason to be angry with you is not my first choice, no. And you lose your leverage. As long as you control Michael’s custody, Carly has to pay attention to you. You give it to AJ…” Elizabeth shrugged. Picked up her highlighter.

“I know it’s risky. I know it might make Carly…go crazy. But it also might make her angry enough to let something slip. We have to change the situation.”

“I know, I know.” She bit her lip. “I just…I don’t want you to get hurt.”

He lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “I’ve survived Carly’s plans before.”

She sighed but said nothing more on the subject. Jason still had his blinders on where Carly was concerned. Carly had only been able to inflict emotional damage on Jason because Jason had never been the direct target, and he wasn’t taking that into account. But she had already voiced her worries and concerned. Jason had considered them but had ultimately decided it was worth the risk.

So, she managed a smile for him. “You have to go to the warehouse today?”

“Yeah, September is the end of the fiscal year, so Benny wants me to look at the books for the warehouse.” Jason eyed her. “You want me to look at Kelly’s records, too?”

“No,” Elizabeth muttered. “I’m smart. I can do it.” She wrinkled her nose. “Maybe you could double check them or something.”

When he just shrugged, she set her highlighter down. “What?”

“You don’t like managing Kelly’s,” Jason said after a moment. “And you hate your business classes.”

“So why do I bother with either?” Elizabeth asked her brows raised. “I needed something to do every day after I called off the wedding. I had really lost touch with my art, and I didn’t have anything else. I was afraid if I didn’t fill every hour of my day with something—I might be tempted to drift back.” She shrugged. “Bobbie asked me to take over Kelly’s. And Gia thought it might be fun to go back to school together. I’m not sorry I did it. And I’m excited to graduate. To finish it. And I know I’ve done a good job at Kelly’s.”

“Okay.”

“But you’re right. It’s not really what I want to do. I was gonna talk to Bobbie about it…about maybe training Courtney or someone else so I could start focusing on art.” She bit her lip. “And then Carly came home.”

“Yeah.” He scratched his forehead. “Well, that…I don’t know what’s going to happen with that. But you should tell Bobbie. You know she wouldn’t want you to put your life on hold for her.”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth put the cap on her highlighter and closed her economics book. “Well, that’s a conversation for another day.”

Kelly’s: Alley

Jason followed Elizabeth to the back door, but before she opened it, he touched her elbow. “Hey…about this morning—”

Elizabeth turned back to him with a quizzical smile. “What? Kelly’s?”

“No.” He hesitated. “You…said we should ask Jake about…a hot plate or something.” Jason shifted, unsure why he felt nervous. He knew he wanted to make some changes, grateful that he and Elizabeth were on the same page after last week.

“Oh. I was just joking—”

“Yeah, but it made me think…” He took her hand in his. “It might be nice to have…good coffee for a change. And not always order out.”

“What, can you cook?” Elizabeth asked with a grin. “Because I can make a mean bowl of soup on the hot plate at my studio…” She poked him in the chest lightly with her free hand. “I bet Sonny taught you, didn’t he?”

“Yeah.” He grabbed her other hand, and then held both of them behind her back as he kissed her. She laughed against his lips as he backed her against the brick wall of Kelly’s back alley, deepening the kiss.

“What was that for?” she asked, her breath shallow as Jason pulled back.

“Just wanted to.” Jason slid a tendril of hair behind her ear. “What I was thinking is maybe we should find a place. With a kitchen.”

“You mean…live together?” Elizabeth asked. She bit her lip but smiled. “You could always move into our place. I bet Gia—”

“Yeah, I want live downstairs from Taggert,” Jason replied with a grin. “Elizabeth—”

“No, I think—” She hesitated. “I like it. Let’s talk about it. You’re coming by after you and AJ meet with the lawyers, right?”

“Yeah.” Though he shared her concerns that this wasn’t the best way forward—no one had had a better idea when they’d talked about it earlier that week. And he still had an itch between his shoulders at the thought of going to AJ with problems and working together to solve them.

He wondered if that was what was to really have a brother. A person you didn’t like one hundred percent of the time, respected sometimes, wanted to slap upside the head for being an idiot most of the time, and yet…turned to for help when you needed it.

“Well, you owe me a rain check on driving…” She pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth. “So, I’ll take it tonight, and we’ll talk it over…but…” Elizabeth licked her lips. “I like it. We already spend all our time together anyway. Might be nice not to pay rent on a place where I barely live anymore.”

He laughed, kissed her again. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Mmm, I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Kelly’s: Courtyard

Elizabeth grimaced as she saw Carly sitting at a table in her section. That’s what she got for trading the opening shift with Penny.

“Carly,” she said with a wary smile, digging a notebook out of her pocket. “What’s—” And then she looked at the blonde for the first time since their encounter the Sunday after she’d blown up all their lives.

Carly looked like shit. Her eyes were red, her makeup nonexistent, her hair drawn back into a ponytail—Elizabeth wasn’t entire sure she’d seen the woman not look perfectly put together.

“Tell me about the custody problems Jason had,” she said softly, her fingers clutching the empty water glass like a lifeline. “Why did he agree to give AJ custody?”

Elizabeth sighed, and then sank down into a chair across from her. “Carly, you should talk to Jason about this—”

“He’s so angry with me,” Carly murmured. Not meeting her eyes. Her red nails were chipped. “I’ve never seen him so angry. Not even when I slept with Sonny. When I went to the Quartermaines. I see him now, and it’s that look—it’s not even hurt. It’s just…anger.”

“Okay.” Elizabeth set her order pad and pencil on the table. “Jason couldn’t get back for almost a week. By that time, the Quartermaines had already started circling Bobbie. Not AJ—it’s important that you know that. AJ told me, and he told his family, that he would not go after Michael’s custody right away.”

Carly raised her eyes. “What? Why? Wouldn’t—Jason wasn’t there—”

“To disrupt Michael’s life in that way when he was already grieving you,” Elizabeth said slowly, “was something AJ didn’t want to do. I’m not going to pretend it was his conscience entirely making that decision. He had an attorney advising him to wait as well. To go after Michael before his legal guardian could take stock of the situation—it wouldn’t reflect well. So, yeah, AJ waited.”

“It wasn’t…” Carly closed her eyes. “You said Mama grieved.”

“She went to the PCPD every day for a week. The Coast Guard wouldn’t search after the first few days. The currents were too strong, they told us. But Bobbie convinced Mac to keep looking. And Sonny offered money if they wanted to do private searches. But…. based on what we knew about the location of the accident—it’s where Brenda’s car went into the lake.”

“I—” Carly cleared her throat. “I remember. I think they said it would be impossible. With—with how deep the lake is there.”

“Her car would have been swept out towards the St. Lawrence.” Elizabeth rolled the pencil between her fingers. “You know how Bobbie gets. She started to throw herself into the details. Into dealing with your estate. Into the memorial service. Anything she could do to occupy her brain. Lucas and I took care of Michael the first week because she wouldn’t sit down long enough. If she did—she wouldn’t be able to breathe.”

Carly nodded. “Okay. Then what happened?”

If Carly wanted a blow by blow—if this would help—Elizabeth just shrugged. “Jason came home. And then your will was read. Alexis told him his chances in court were just…awful. He was probably not going to win.”

“Why?” Carly demanded, her eyes fierce now. “That’s stupid. AJ gave up his rights. So, it shouldn’t have mattered—”

“And that’s how Jason saw it at first, too. AJ wasn’t in the picture for him. He had this promise to you, and he wasn’t convinced AJ was good for Michael.” Elizabeth bit her lip. “But it wasn’t that simple, Carly. AJ didn’t have his rights taken by the court. He surrendered them voluntarily.” Her lips twisted. “Or so the court is concerned. Jason is Michael’s uncle, but he was also the reason AJ wasn’t in Michael’s life from birth. His lie was part of it. And Jason actively worked to keep them apart.”

Carly huffed and sat back. “So, the court would have thrown the book at him for it,” she muttered. “That’s fucking stupid.”

“Maybe. But that’s how the court would have seen it, Carly. And if Jason had a prayer of winning, he’d have to drag Michael to therapists. He’d have to talk to lawyers and judges and counselors. He’d already lost you, and to do that to him, and not be guaranteed anything—do you have any idea how much that broke his heart?”

“Maybe,” Carly murmured. “Then he should have taken Michael and left—” Her eyes burned. “He wouldn’t leave you.”

“I was not a factor in this, Carly,” Elizabeth retorted. “We weren’t even dating at the point most of this was happening. The truth of it is, Carly, AJ is not the villain you think he is—”

“He killed my baby!”

Elizabeth sat back. Waited a moment. “I won’t pretend I understand that pain, Carly. I don’t. I know what it is to lose someone you love, but I can’t imagine it holds a candle to the loss of a child.”

A tear slid down Carly’s cheek. “It was his fault. It is. He pushed me…” Her voice faded, and she looked away. “I wanted him dead. But Sonny wouldn’t let me. So, I had to settle for taking Michael away. Keeping him safe.”

“And punishing AJ for it forever.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Carly said, lifting her chin defiantly. “But, yes. Why not?”

“Because AJ didn’t push you—”

“You weren’t there—”

“But other people were,” Elizabeth said gently. “And no one else tells the story that way. I get it, Carly. I get why you blame him. You have to blame him. It has to be his fault completely. Because it’s the only way you can get past it. But it doesn’t change the fact that he didn’t push you.”

“You don’t understand—” Carly shoved to her feet. “It is his fault. And now he has my little boy—”

“He’s been sober a year, Carly, but Jason was worried. He signed an agreement that kept him in control. AJ only saw Michael when Jason said it was okay. They talked to therapists. AJ and Michael went to a counselor. They started with supervised visits. Last week? It was the first full week after three entire months. Jason did everything he could to protect Michael, and AJ agreed every step of the way to let Jason keep that control. Because Michael came first for both of them.” Elizabeth pushed to her feet. “Can you say that for yourself?”

“Excuse me?” Carly demanded.

“Have you ever put anyone but yourself first?”

“How dare you—”

“Were you putting Michael first when you slept with Sonny and ruined his family at the Quartermaines? When you forced AJ to give up his rights in the first place? When you ran away for five months?” Elizabeth retorted. “When you came home and refused to tell anyone what the hell was going on? Did you put Michael first when you tried to seduce Jason last week?”

“Oh, that’s what this is about.” Carly flipped her hair over her shoulder and that arrogant light was back in her eyes. “You’re just mad because I tempted your boyfriend. You worried?”

“Not in the slightest, Carly.  If Jason wanted you, he’d have you. And you know that. I am not the reason you don’t have Jason.” Elizabeth jabbed a finger at her. “That’s on you. You destroyed any chance you ever had with Jason, and you hate me because I’m the one he loves. That’s not my fault. None of this is my fault.”

“I don’t even know why I bothered to ask you anything—”

“Because you know I don’t give a shit about you enough to lie.”

Elizabeth’s words stopped Carly as she started to storm out of the courtyard. “What?” Carly asked, whirling around.

“You thought your mother would sugar coat it. Make AJ into some kind of sympathetic hero. Or absolve Jason of something. Because she loves you. And Jason would take the blame all on himself. You know I don’t care enough to do either.”

Carly pressed her lips together and looked away. “I had my reasons for what happened.”

“And that’s great. I don’t care about your reasons, Carly. They’re not my problem. What matters to me is Jason, Bobbie, and Michael. They’re my family. And you destroyed them. Right now, you have the two people who love you—who genuinely grieved your loss—you have them thinking you did it on purpose. That you faked your death to get Jason’s attention or something.”

“Yeah, everyone loves to make me the bad guy,” Carly muttered.

“And I’m not saying it’s not something you would never do,” Elizabeth said. “But I know how much you love Michael. And how much you loved that club. And your car. You never would have sacrificed all three of them to make a stupid point.”

Carly’s eyes were wet with tears when she met Elizabeth’s eyes. “I didn’t fake my death.”

“I’m not the person you should be telling.” Elizabeth gestured in the direction. “You should tell Jason. Because whatever trouble you’re in, he can fix it. More than that, he wants to fix it. So just let him.”

Corinthos & Morgan: Warehouse

When one of the guards told Jason Carly was there to see him, Jason almost told him to send her away. Having made the decision to surrender guardianship to AJ, Jason really didn’t want to go another round with Carly.

Particularly when he was almost convinced that she would never tell him what the hell was going on, and he wasn’t interested in keeping his life on hold to fix hers anymore.

He’d wanted to take a few days with Elizabeth before her classes started. He knew that she and Gia had been saving for a vacation for that week all summer, and Jason had planned to surprise them both with a week on the island. He could have gone to Puerto Rico to do some business, giving them time alone.

But Carly had come home, and none of them had left. Gia Campbell would never be his favorite person, but she’d proved to be the kind of loyal and devoted friend Carly had always claimed to be, and she’d stayed home with Elizabeth.

“Jason?” Max asked again with raised brows. “You want me to get rid of her?”

He sighed.  “No.” Jason waved his hand. “Let her in.”

He’d tell her in person what he was planning to do. Maybe the shock of it—

But then Carly came in, tears stained her cheek, her hands were trembling. “I can’t—I can’t do it.”

“Okay.” Jason got to his feet and steered her to one of the chairs in front of the desk. “Can’t do what?”

“I can’t do what he asked. I can’t. I’m so mad at you, Jase. So angry. But not that angry. I’m not. I can’t ever be that angry.”

With a sinking feeling, Jason sat in the chair next to her. He’d been right. Someone had orchestrated this. “Who asked what? Let’s…start at the beginning.”

“Elizabeth was right. I loved that car.” Carly’s lip trembled, but she swallowed hard. “I was just…I was driving the cliff roads. You used to talk about your bike a-and I hated that stupid thing, but I loved taking those turns in that car. Sonny hated that car, but I loved it—”

She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. “I don’t—I don’t remember the accident. Just—there were bright lights. And then pain. And then nothing. I don’t know if the car went into the water. God. I don’t know if I went into the water. I just—there was an accident, Jase.”

Bright lights. Maybe headlights. “What is the next thing you remember?”

“It’s hard…I feel like…” She bit her lip. “I think I was kept drugged. I don’t know. You know that feeling when you just drift? You can’t…you can’t wake up. You can’t open your eyes. You just…drift. You tell your body to move and it just ignores you.” She sucked in another shaky breath. “I don’t know how long that…that lasted. I just don’t. But um, when I was conscious—I thought I was in a hospital or something. A nurse told me—she told me I was in Canada. Toronto. But I think—”

“That was a lie,” Jason told her gently. “The PCPD looked in all the hospitals in the region. Sonny and I did, too. And then we looked a second time when you came home. No one with your description was admitted and then wasn’t accounted for.”

“Okay. Okay. Um, she told me there was an accident. That I had been in a coma for a while or something. It was…I woke up two weeks before that night. I didn’t stay away the whole time, Jason, I wouldn’t do that to Michael.”

“I didn’t think so, either.” Jason hesitated. “I thought you might have…that you might have faked the accident, but not for so long. I thought whoever helped you kept you—”

Carly closed her eyes. “Yeah, I guess…I guess I haven’t given you a reason not to…think that. The shit I’ve pulled, Jase…I’m surprised your hair isn’t white.”

She dragged her hands through her hair. “Okay. Okay. So, then this guy comes in and he’s got this—he’s got these pictures. And this crap from the court. It’s AJ and Michael. And he’s telling me that AJ has my son. That Michael is living there. That no one misses me. And I’m like, that’s bullshit. I told him it was bullshit, Jase.”

“Carly—”

“But he showed me the court records and photos from the Fourth of July, and you’re—you’re with AJ. And Michael is with them. And I was so angry—and then pictures of you and that stupid twit—” She closed her eyes. “Pictures of everyone laughing. Smiling. Like I didn’t matter.”

“Carly—”

“I get it. I mean, I kind of get it. I understand mostly. It was months, right? April, May, June—July. Of course, life moved on. But it didn’t for me—” Carly pressed a hand to her chest. “I wasn’t dead. And I didn’t—I didn’t know it was faked. I just thought no one was looking for me—”

“A guy comes in with all this information and you didn’t think someone faked your death?” Jason asked skeptically. “Carly—”

“You know I don’t think,” Carly snapped. “So, I kept telling him it was bullshit and as soon as I got out of the hospital, I’d prove it to him. You were my best friend and you loved Michael. You would never do that to me.”

“Carly—”

“So, he told me that that was the plan. That when I went home, I should see how much people missed me. And—and I could go home. But there was a deal. There was a catch—”

“You couldn’t tell me anything.” Jason leaned back in his chair. “It was a test, wasn’t it, Carly? If I had given you Michael right away, you’d have told me everything.”

“B-but you wouldn’t.” Carly’s hands fisted. “You refused. A-And I was so angry. And when I get angry, I just—I react. I tried to—I used Michael the way you hate. I knew you’d say no. But it was the last thing I knew to do. Nothing else was working.”

“And when I refused, what did this man ask you to do?” Jason said, but he had a feeling he already knew.

“He—he asked me if I wanted revenge.” Tears slid down Carly’s face. “And I did. I did. Until he told me what he wanted me to do. I agreed, but I was scared, Jase—I never would have—”

“What did he ask you to do?” Jason repeated, getting to his feet. “Carly—”

“There’s—he wanted me to get you to come to a warehouse tonight.” Carly also stood. “But I wasn’t gonna be there. He said he just wanted to talk to you away from Sonny, but I knew what he was asking. I never—I couldn’t.”

“Tonight.” Jason hissed under his breath. “When did he ask you this?”

“A few—a few days ago. I was still so mad. I didn’t want to do it, but I thought I would just ignore it all, but then he called me today and told me that he knew I hadn’t come to see you yet. He was watching me—watching you—”

Her eyes filled with tears. “So, I had to come to you. But I didn’t know what to do. How to deal with it. But—I wanted to know. I wanted to know what Elizabeth knew about AJ and Michael. She’s right. She doesn’t care enough to bullshit me. So, I get it now. I still hate what you did, Jase, but I get it. And I’m sorry, but—”

Jason held up a hand to cut off her rambling apologies. “Stop. When is this ambush? Because that’s what it is, Carly. You agreed to lure me into an ambush.”

“I wouldn’t do that!” Carly cried. “Except. Yeah. I did. But to stall for time. I didn’t—Tonight. At nine. At Pier 52. Jason—”

“Just stop.” Jason took a deep breath. It was almost four o’clock. They had time…time to set up something. A trap, maybe. To get at the bottom of all of this. “Did the man ever introduce himself?”

“No, but I know who he is. I’ve seen his face in the paper and his wife has come to my club. Mickey Roscoe.”

“Roscoe,” Jason repeated. He had to be working with someone. Could Nico and Roscoe have started to work together? They didn’t have evidence of that, but— “Okay. You can go. You’ve done your part, Carly. Go.” He hesitated. “Go talk to Bobbie. Tell her that you’ve told me everything, and that I’m satisfied. Tell her you were kidnapped. I’m sorry this happened to you, Carly, but damn it—” He closed his eyes. “Go talk to your mother.”

“I’m sorry, Jase—”

“Yeah, me, too. Now go. I’ve got things to do.”

She left with more tears on her cheeks, but he couldn’t spare time to think about that. He knew what had happened during those five months, but why was Roscoe’s first plan to take Jason out? What did that serve?

He strode down the hall to Sonny’s office, pushing the door open to find Sonny meeting with Benny. “We’ve got a problem.”

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Courtney returned from her break with a pensive look on her face and made a beeline for Elizabeth counting receipts behind the counter. “Hey. Have you talked to Jason today?”

“Not since he dropped me off. And he hasn’t called–” Elizabeth reached into her purse for her phone and cursed. “I left it at Jake’s. Damn it.” She looked at Courtney. “Why?”

“AJ just called. His lawyer said that Alexis Davis called him and canceled the meeting for tonight. He tried to call Jason, but—”

“It’s already five—” Elizabeth frowned. “They were supposed to meet in an hour—why would Jason—” She bit her lip. “Maybe something came up at the warehouse.” And wasn’t that a comforting thought? Why had she forgotten her phone today of all days?

She picked up the phone behind Kelly’s counter and dialed Jason’s cell. It went straight to voicemail. That did not make her feel better. She tried Sonny’s number. Nothing.

She furrowed her brow. What was Alexis’s office number? Had they been arrested? Should she call the PCPD to find out? Damn it.

“Elizabeth?”

Elizabeth met Courtney’s worried gaze and took a deep breath. “This is something that happens sometimes,” she said softly. More to herself than to her friend. “Things come up. A-and I can’t know about it until it’s okay. So, they’re not answering their phones. I just—I have to wait. Someone will tell me something soon. It’s how it works.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth cleared her throat. “There’s no reason to panic. This just happens sometimes. Jason had to go out of town once really unexpectedly, and he couldn’t tell me. I kind of freaked out a bit, and I felt stupid asking Sonny about it. So…this is fine. I’ll just…wait it out.”

Even as all her nerve ending were standing up and screaming that Jason and Sonny were never out of touch at the same time.

“I could cover for you if you want to go to the warehouse? Or to Jake’s to get your phone.”

Elizabeth hesitated, considered it, but ultimately shook her head. “No. No, it’s fine. Jason will probably stop by before closing and let me know what’s up.”

And if she went to the warehouse or to get her phone…it would be admitting something might be wrong. And she wasn’t ready to do that.

Couldn’t take the blame
Sick with shame
Must be exhausting to lose your own game
Selfishly hated
No wonder you’re jaded
You can’t play the victim this time
And you’re too late
– Call Me When You’re Sober, Evanescence

---

Tuesday, September 3, 2002

Kelly’s: Courtyard

Bobbie poked at her lunch, unable to muster the appetite necessary to lift the fork. Across the table, Felicia Jones tipped her head. “Hey. This was supposed to distract you.”

“As if that were possible.” Bobbie moved her salad listlessly across the plate. “She’s been home an entire week.”

“I know.”

“And I haven’t seen her.” Bobbie pursed her lips. “Haven’t wanted to. I know where she’s staying. I know Jason is keeping watch—I just don’t care. God. How awful that sounds.”

“I know that I can’t imagine either of my daughters ever doing anything that would get me to that point,” Felicia said slowly, “but then again, Bobbie, you didn’t raise Carly. She’s only been in your life for four years as your daughter. Before that—”

“She was the conniving bitch who broke up my marriage.” Bobbie sighed, pressing a hand to her head. “Yes, I know. And I’ve moved on from that. Because—because I see myself in her, you know? That willingness to do whatever I had to to get what I thought I deserved. I mean, I’m not some shining example—”

“You did things when you were younger, sure.” Felicia shrugged. “We’ve all done things we’re not proud of. I mean, I broke up a marriage to a good man for…something that didn’t exist. You and Tony both did that, too. Everyone makes mistakes. But not everyone revels in it the way Carly does. I honestly think she gets off on the damage.”

“I wouldn’t have thought so before,” Bobbie murmured. “But the woman who came back…something happened during those five months, Felicia. I just…I feel like if she would just tell me, we could get past this. Maybe not Jason and Carly—I honestly think he’s done with her—but maybe I could get over it.”

“Maybe. Or maybe her reasons wouldn’t be good enough. I mean, it sounds like they’re not good enough for Jason. Is he still not turning custody over to her?”

“No, but—” Bobbie sighed. “I’m surprised.” She paused. “Or maybe I’m not. I remember thinking when she came home that I didn’t want him to get caught up in her games again. Not just because I care about him, but…”

“But because he’s dating Elizabeth Webber?”

“Yes. I didn’t want that for her, either. You were at that stupid wedding, Felicia. You saw the reaction when she walked away from Lucky. From that entire fiasco. She’s kept walking, and she’s…she’s the girl I always thought she’d grow up to be. I wanted that for her, and I wanted her to be happy. And…Jason chasing Carly isn’t the life I wanted for her.”

“I always thought it was a shame that Robin and Jason broke up the way they did,” Felicia said slowly. “Mac was relieved. He hated how Robin just…let Carly walk all over her. But I never saw it that way. I think Robin knew she and Jason were on borrowed time once she left for college that first time. She was just holding on to him. To the familiarity. And he was, too. They were already over, they just didn’t know it.”

“I guess.” Bobbie leaned back in her chair. “But since Carly’s been home, I’m relieved that Jason hasn’t given in. Because it means he’s putting Michael first. And Elizabeth, if not first as well, a close second—”

“Because everyone is better than me.”

The venomous bitter words startled both women as they turned to see Carly standing just behind the table. When had she—

“Carly,” Bobbie said. But then stopped. What could she say to this woman? This woman who wore the same anger that she’d known all those years ago when they’d first known one another? Her daughter hated her again the same visceral way she’d had when she’d first come to Port Charles.

“Everyone is a better person than me,” Carly continued. Almost growling. “Right? Elizabeth is a better daughter. A better girlfriend. Probably a better mother. Michael probably just loved her.”

When Felicia picked up her milkshake and just slurped it, Bobbie shot her a dirty look. “Carly,” she began again. “That’s not how it was—we all missed you—” Well, not all, but that was important. “I grieved for you—”

“I’m not the daughter you wanted,” Carly retorted. “I got that from the moment I came to Port Charles. All everyone could ever talk about was BJ and how perfect she was—”

“God, Carly—” Bobbie just closed her eyes as a shaft a pain pierced her. Nearly a decade and it still took her breath away. “That’s not fair—”

“I come back again, and it’s all about Elizabeth Goddamn Webber. Jason loves her. You love her. God knows Sonny loves her more than his own damned sister—but what about me?”

“What about you?” Bobbie shoved herself to her feet. “I buried you, Carly. I wept for you. What do you want from any of us? You were dead—”

“You sure didn’t look very hard,” Carly cut in. “From what I hear, the Coast Guard called off the search within twenty-four hours? You all just jumped at the chance to be rid of me.”

“Carly, Bobbie was inconsolable,” Felicia said, finally. “She went to the PCPD day after day, trying to convince them to keep searching. They kept it open longer than they might have because of her—”

“Then why isn’t she helping me get my son back?” Carly demanded. She focused those angry dark eyes on Bobbie’s. “Why aren’t you helping me?”

“I’m not—” Bobbie exhaled slowly. “You weren’t gone a week. Or two weeks, Carly. You were gone five months. Where were you?” she demanded, her voice breaking. “What happened?”

“I didn’t want to believe it,” Carly said with a shake of her head. “I couldn’t believe that you would all forget me. That I didn’t matter. But it was like I never existed. My son, living with the man who killed my child. My best friend in the world, dating someone else, breaking bread with that son of a bitch. My own mother helping them—My ex-husband didn’t even go to my memorial—” Her voice broke. “You all forgot me. It was like I never existed.”

Felicia frowned, but Bobbie just shook her head. “No, no. That’s not—we all struggled to put it back together. Those first two months were horrible. I couldn’t tell one day from the next, and Lucas had to practically take over. Get Michael to school. Look out for him—I couldn’t breathe, Carly—”

Her daughter just shook her head. “I don’t believe that. How could I believe that? You gave my son away to a dangerous and violent alcoholic like he didn’t matter—just one more reminder of your mistake, right, Mama?” She swiped at her tears. “And Jason never loved me. How could he? How could he love me and then not even help—”

“Carly—”

“You’re all going to be sorry,” Carly growled. “I’ll get my son back and then I’m taking him away from all of you.” She spun on her heel and stalked back to the parking lot.

“Damn it,” Bobbie muttered, sitting back down. “Damn it. How could she think we didn’t miss her? That we could have forgotten—”

“I didn’t want to believe it,” Felicia echoed softly. She looked at Bobbie. “She couldn’t believe you would all forget her. She didn’t want to believe it.”

“She just can’t see how it was—”

“Bobbie. Listen to me,” Felicia cut in, and her sharp tone forced Bobbie to take a deep breath. To look at her. “Listen to me. Carly came home last week ready to go to war. She was already angry when she came to your house, remember? And you told me that Jason thought she already knew about AJ. Already knew where Michael was.”

“Right.” Bobbie exhaled slowly. “She didn’t want to believe that we all forgot her.”

“Which means…someone told her that.” Felicia tapped her nails. “Not that it excuses any of the bullshit she’s pulling, Bobbie, but I think you might want to tell Jason that someone was feeding Carly information while she was gone.”

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

“I don’t understand how she could just disappear,” Sonny said slowly, squinting at Benny and Stan, “and then reappear, and there be nothing to explain it.”

“I wish I could help you,” Stan said with a shrug. “We’ve dug into all of her accounts. She was declared legally dead about two weeks after the accident. Her estate went into probate. And nothing. Nothing before. Nothing until she showed up at the Cosmopolitan. Bobbie hadn’t dealt with Carly’s accounts—”

“And it didn’t occur to me to do anything about them either,” Jason interrupted. “Custody came first.” He rubbed his eyes. “I don’t see why anyone would fake her death to get at us.”

“She was barely connected,” Sonny mused. “Why fake it at all? Why not kill her outright? What is served by having her come home? It’s not adding up, Jase. It just isn’t. If she had faked her own death, there would have been a trail. Carly’s smart, but not that smart. The fact that we can’t pick up her scent—”

“What about the witness that called in the accident?” Jason asked. He looked to Stan. “If she wasn’t in the accident—”

“He’s in the wind,” Stan said. “If he ever existed. To be honest, we didn’t—” He hesitated. “We didn’t really check him out before. It all seemed on the up and up.”

“Witness calls in an accident with Carly’s car,” Sonny said with a nod. “I didn’t even know anything until the morning, but by then the Coast Guard was already searching. The PCPD had confirmed something happened up there. Carly never came home. It all added up.”

“But the accident was a set up if this witness is gone.” Jason exhaled slowly. “I keep going back to it being connected to us, Sonny. But I just—it doesn’t make work for me.”

“Roscoe does not have the resources to pull this off. And we’re watching Nico’s money too closely. We weren’t in April, but we were by the end of May. Where could they have kept Carly that we wouldn’t have had noticed?” Benny pointed out. “But even so—”

“What do they gain?” Sonny pressed. “She’s my ex-wife, yeah. Your ex…whatever. But not now. Everyone had to know about the divorce. We barely saw one another those last few months. Why Carly? Why not—” And he hesitated at that. “Why not someone who was still in my life? I have a sister. There’s Courtney. Mike. And Elizabeth has been around for years. Why Carly?”

“It brought you home, Jase,” Stan pointed out. “Maybe someone knew you would have custody of her son. That you’d have to be here.”

“Then there’s no way it’s Nico or Roscoe, because the last thing they wanted was your eyes on the paperwork again,” Benny argued. “But who else?”

They were arguing in circles, but Jason finally shook his head. “This all depends on whether or not we believe Carly did this on her own or if she had help. Or if it was unwillingly. Everything else….it doesn’t matter. Because—”

“You think Carly managed this all on her own?” Sonny shook his head. “I know I said as much to her, and she let me think it was about you, but I’m not buying it, Jase. She doesn’t have the resources—”

“I think it’s possible that she was in an accident,” Jason said slowly. “And maybe…she planned to stay away a day or two. Or just long enough to make a point. Maybe it was for you. Maybe it was me. I don’t know. I doubt she meant to stay away for months, but—”

“Maybe it started as her idea but got twisted by someone else,” Sonny said with a nod. “Remember what Bobbie said—that Carly didn’t want to believe we had forgotten her. You don’t have to believe something you don’t know about. She came back to Port Charles already pissed off, playing it like she didn’t know where Michael was—”

“Elizabeth suggested she followed us the night we took Michael to AJ’s,” Jason said. “I think she followed us longer than that. Or someone did. Because—” And at this hesitated, because it was personal. But it might be important. “We usually spend the night together. At Jake’s most of the time. I don’t like the apartment because of Taggart, and her studio doesn’t—” He shook his head. “Anyway, Elizabeth wasn’t at my place for more than a week. And Carly knew it. She thought it meant we were having issues.”

“And if she knew Elizabeth was usually at your place—someone had to tell her, or she followed you for several days.”

“So we’re back to thinking Carly had help,” Jason said, a bit relieved by that. “She’ll have to tell us eventually, Sonny.” It was what he had clung to all month—this assurance that when it came down to a choice between whatever secret she was holding and her son, Carly would come clean.

Then Jason could—

And then he stopped himself. He didn’t want to fix this for her. It was reflex to look at this situation as a problem he had to solve for Carly. Carly had made her choice that first night she’d been back. Every time she had called him and not told him the truth.  And when she come to Jake’s and attempted to exploit his issues with Elizabeth.

She didn’t care about him. About what was important to him. And if he was honest with himself, Carly had never concerned herself with that. She told herself she did—but it had never been true.

And he let himself think it was—if he let himself get sucked into helping Carly, making her problems go away—he knew it wouldn’t stop there.

Carly would take it as invitation to go back to where she had been in his life before Sonny. Looking over his shoulder. Taking care of herself first and then punishing him later.

He’d already let it happen once and watched Robin walk away from him.

He would be damned if he’d let Elizabeth go to take care of Carly.

“Or maybe she won’t come,” Jason admitted. “I don’t know. I’ve given up trying to predict Carly’s next move, Sonny. But I don’t think we can just…assume there’s nothing behind it. It doesn’t make sense right now. But nothing in the last week has made sense. We should just—keep our eyes open. Because whatever she’s up to—”

“—we’re not going to know what hit us.”

Vista Point: Cliff Road

Elizabeth frowned when Jason pulled the bike over to the shoulder near the guard rail where Carly had had her accident.  “What—”

He switched off the engine and then walked to the edge of the road. The rail had been replaced at some point that summer. Like the accident had never happened.

“I met with Sonny today while you were in class,” he told her when she joined him. “We were talking about how Carly could have pulled off faking her death without help.”

“Okay.”

He looked at her with a wary expression. “I know you’re sick of Carly—”

“I am,” she admitted. “But she’s a problem that exists whether I’m here or not, and I’d rather be here. So what are you thinking?”

“Sonny thought she might have faked the accident to get his attention. Or mine.”

“Because if she were missing, Sonny would call you.”

“I keep coming back to that…because it seems logical. It seems like an asinine plan Carly would pull to make a point. I didn’t talk to her all that much, but she was always asking me to come back.” Jason hesitated. “And I was starting to consider it. I wanted—” He looked at her. “I knew you weren’t seeing Lucky. I guess I was starting to wonder if it would be different this time.”

She managed a smile for him. “I’m glad you did come home. I’m just sorry any of this is happening. Is that you think Carly did?”

“I don’t know. Because…the guard rail was damaged. It was ripped apart and mangled. Something went over this cliff.”

“Maybe Carly’s car.” Elizabeth pursed her lips. “She loved that car. First thing she bought when the divorce settlement came through. She used to drive Bobbie crazy with it—you could hear her speeding down the block.” She hesitated. “I’m not saying Carly wouldn’t…fake her death to get to you or Sonny. Because there’s literally nothing Carly wouldn’t do. But…I don’t know. She loved that car.”

“I think someone took her,” Jason said quietly. “And I don’t know what happened after that. I don’t know if she stayed away willingly. I know someone told her we were all living our lives like she hadn’t ever been here. Like she didn’t matter. That doesn’t make what Carly’s doing right—”

“She thinks we were all better off without her. Happier without her.” Elizabeth exhaled slowly. “Yeah. I can see how—I mean, we talked about it back then, Jason. How there were only a handful of people who were really going to miss her.”

“When Carly gets angry, she doesn’t usually stop to think until she’s forced to,” Jason murmured. “And she hasn’t been forced to. She’s running on that anger now. She thinks it’ll work. But she hasn’t gone to court. Hasn’t asked a lawyer to get custody.”

“Because she doesn’t think she’d win. Or she’d have to tell everyone where she’s been.”

“And she doesn’t want to do that.” Jason turned, leaned against the guard rail. “She could get joint custody at least at this point if she told us the truth. Joint custody is better than what she has now. She’s not telling us.”

“Which means it’s more complicated than a plan that backfired.” Elizabeth nodded. She folded her arms and looked away. “It’s not just the car that has me hesitating to completely…blame her. I want to blame her, Jason. Because it’s convenient. Because I don’t like her. But…she loved that car. And she loves Michael. And you. If this was designed to get you home, Jason—she never would have stayed away for five months. It’s not like you and I got together right away. There was a window for her to come home. And she didn’t.”

“Because she couldn’t.” Jason looked away. “I don’t know. I can’t explain why someone would fake her death and then just send her back. Maybe they threatened her if she told the truth. I just—I can’t put Michael in the middle of it. Even if it ends it sooner.”

Elizabeth’s shoulders relaxed as she exhaled slowly. “I know what I said before about…Carly using him. But I wonder if…he’s been asking about her, Courtney told me. And everyone thought…Carly would come clean by now.”

Jason raised his brows. “I thought you said—”

“I didn’t want you to bring Michael to her because Carly manipulated you. This is different. That was four days ago. She’s been home a week and a half…and she’s just treading water. She’s waiting for you to give in, Jason.”

“So you think I should—”

“I don’t know. I don’t…” Elizabeth chewed on her bottom lip. “I just know that we can’t keep waiting. We’re at a stalemate, Jason, and if Carly is the first one to make a move…that’s kind of a terrifying thought. She once shot a man in open court. And it was her idea to—” She bit her lip. “You know why AJ surrendered his rights, don’t you?”

“I figured Sonny or Carly blackmailed him—” Jason hissed. “What happened?”

“Sonny threatened his life. Hung him on a meat hook and left him in a freezer for a few hours to make his point. Either AJ signed Michael away or…” Elizabeth trailed off. “It was the only way Carly agreed to go quietly in the divorce. And Sonny wanted the divorce. You know he’s never liked AJ.”

“This was Carly’s idea?” Jason asked, in disbelief. “I mean…I know AJ has his issues, but that’s…that’s—”

“I didn’t know about it at the time. AJ told Courtney, and Courtney told me and Gia. He doesn’t know I know. I think he’s ashamed of himself for giving in. For not being a better father or something. I don’t know. Anyway, that’s not my point.” She hesitated. “My point is that if we wait for Carly to make the next move, I don’t think any of us are going to be happy. I don’t want Michael in the middle of this, Jason, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is.”

“Yeah, I guess. I can’t—I can’t just…do it on my own.” He grimaced. “It’s not just my decision.”

“We can talk to AJ and Courtney tomorrow,” she told him. “They’re both…worried as well. AJ’s kind of…terrified you’ll change your mind and he’ll have to fight for Michael in court. So we’ll figure this out.” She took his face in her hands. “I don’t really care where she was, Jason, but I always understood you did. And that for all of our sakes, you needed to know. What bothered me was that—”

“I let her manipulate me because I wanted the answers,” he said quietly. “I know. And I’m sorry. I wasn’t fair to either of us.” He wrapped his hands around her wrists and leaned down to brush her lips with his. “You want to drive back?”

“Wow, you really are sorry.” She offered him a wicked grin. “I want a rain check on that offer because I’d rather go nowhere. Fast.”

“Done.”

Cosmopolitan Hotel: Carly’s Suite

Carly paced in her hotel suite, growling at her phone. Why the hell wasn’t Jason answering her calls? He had to be desperate by now.

If he would just give her Michael, she could tell him everything. That was the deal. She’d been so sure of him—so sure of their friendship, of his loyalty—

It had never occurred to her that Jason would betray her. That he would be like everyone else.

That he would steal her son and give him away to Carly’s worst enemy. To the man who had murdered her baby.

If Jason didn’t give her back Michael, Carly was going to make him pay just like all the rest—

The knock at her door had her leaping across the room. Finally! Maybe he had Michael with him—that was why he hadn’t answered any of her calls—

“Ah, Ms. Benson.”

Carly scowled. “What do you want?”

“I’m checking in. We agreed you would have some time to convince Mr. Morgan to cooperate. To give you back your son.” Mickey Roscoe tipped his head with a knowing smile. “I see he hasn’t come through. It’s just as I told you.”

“I just need a little more time—”

“I know how we can force Mr. Morgan’s hand. And…” Mickey’s lips curved into a smile. “Don’t you want a little revenge?”

Cause I’m not who I was
When I took my first step
And I’m clinging to the promise
You’re not through with me yet
So if all of the trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If you want me to
– If You Want Me To, Ginny Owens

---

Monday, September 2, 2002

Kelly’s: Courtyard

When Elizabeth saw Sonny sitting down in the courtyard, she sighed and thought about asking Penny to cover the table. A month ago, she had been telling Gia she didn’t know how to be happy. A week ago, she’d confessed those fears to Jason who had seemed to understand.

And two days ago, Jason had left her studio to talk to Carly again. He hadn’t called her since.

She should have known.

There would always be a second shoe. Always a disaster.

And somehow, even though Elizabeth couldn’t quite figure out why, she felt like the villain here.

She’d been honest with Jason—maybe too honest. And her timing had sucked. He’d just been drop kicked by Carly for maybe the eighth time in his life and she hadn’t waited more than a handful of days before giving him what must have felt like an ultimatum.

“Hey, Elizabeth.” Sonny tossed aside the menu and sat back as she poured him a cup of coffee. “How’s life?”

“Oh, fantastic,” she muttered. “You?”

Sonny sighed. “Can you sit?”

She didn’t want to, but she could tell Sonny had something on his mind and he’d timed his visit for the post-lunch rush. “Yeah.”

“I don’t intend to pry,” Sonny began. “I just…I’m worried. About Carly. And how Jason is handling this. He hasn’t talked to me—”

“Why do you think I would know anything?” Elizabeth demanded.

Sonny blinked at her short response. “Did you…did you have another run-in with Carly?” he repeated.

“Oh, my God.” Elizabeth squeezed her eyes shut. This was going to be her life now. All Carly all the time. “No. She’s not going to bother with me. I made my position clear to her. The only the way she gets anything from me is to tell Jason what’s going on. She’s not going to do that, so I’m useless to her. Is that it?”

“I—” He held out a hand to stop her as she started to rise. “I get it. Carly’s not your favorite person right now, but she’s in trouble—”

“I just—I can’t.” She threw up her hands. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I’m a bad friend. A terrible girlfriend. Whatever label you want to slap on me. But I do not give a rat’s ass if she’s in trouble.”

Sonny’s lips formed a bit of an ‘oh’ as he took this tumble of words in. “Are…are you and Jason fighting? He hasn’t said—I mean, he wouldn’t. He’d rather chew off his own arm rather than talk to me about this stuff.” He looked away.

“I don’t know what we are.” Elizabeth shifted. “I tried to help. I waited at the Brownstone. I did exactly what Jason and I talked about. Trying to convince her to think about Michael. But she just—God, Sonny. She’s the same person she’s always been, and I just get don’t this obsession with getting her out of trouble. I don’t care what the hell happened—”

“Ah. She…” Sonny scratched the side of his nose. “She probably didn’t really like finding out you were dating Jason.”

“Yeah, because I was worried about her opinion. Jason got that look, too, when I told him I had mentioned it. That grimace like I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry, are we protecting Carly? Was my relationship with Jason something I was supposed to lie about?” she bit out.

“No. Just…” Sonny sighed. “Antagonizing her—”

“I’m done with this—” Elizabeth shot to her feet. “Look. I get it. I’m not an idiot. Part of the reason you and Jason are treading so cautiously is because…where ever she’s been—it might be…connected to whatever. But you’re both kidding yourselves if you think that’s the only reason you’re both so goddamn concerned. You both have spent years bailing Carly out of her bullshit, and you’re apparently addicted to it. Well, I don’t have blinders where she’s concerned.”

“Jason doesn’t see her that way—”

“This is not jealousy you’re seeing and screw you, Sonny, for thinking that it’s that simple. It’s not a cat fight over a guy. This is about seeing Carly for who she is which I thought you had.” Elizabeth shook her head. “Like I said, I’m a terrible person, whatever you want to say. But I’m not going to spend my day thinking about her. And I’m not going to sit by and watch while you and Jason let her wreak havoc—”

“Elizabeth.” Sonny stood. “Let me just—I’m not helping, I can see that. And I’m sorry. I think—” He tilted his head. “You’re thinking about Robin. And that entire mess when Carly came home, and Jason had them both in the cottage—”

“I can remember their fights at the garage when I used to visit Lucky,” Elizabeth admitted. “And I know how Carly saw Robin. She was a threat. And I don’t know what she did, but it worked. Because Robin left. And Jason stayed with Carly. No matter what she did, he always—”

She closed her eyes. “It’s not about romantic feelings. I don’t…I don’t see her as a threat. Not like that. But he will always go running to help her, Sonny. I don’t understand it. And I’m not sure I want to. She’s planning something, and she’s going after Jason. But then he’s talking about this like it’s another scheme, something he can fix. You know better than anyone else how much damage Carly can do when she’s trying to help. What about when she’s actively trying to destroy someone? Bobbie and Tony are still picking up the pieces of their lives. And what about Lucas and Michael? Just collateral damage in whatever she cooks up.”

“You’re not wrong, Elizabeth—”

“Yeah, Jason said that, too. Except I’m the one getting the silent treatment because I had the nerve to be honest—” Her voice broke, and she had to look away. “I told you, Sonny. I wasn’t going to do this again. And here I am, all over again. Giving pieces of myself away I will never get back. I’ve already been sacrificed on the altar of the Spencer/Cassadine feud. Excuse me if I’m not really interested in signing up to be a piece of roadkill Carly leaves behind.”

Sonny exhaled slowly. “You don’t want to sit back like Robin did, and wait for Carly to destroy Jason’s life. Again. She can’t take Michael away from him again—the only thing he gives a damn about now is you. So you know—”

“Oh, don’t—” Elizabeth stabbed a finger at him. “Don’t you dare play that card. I get to be angry about this. Because I’ve been here picking up the pieces of Carly’s life for years. You think I don’t know exactly why Jason went to the boxcar that night and nearly killed himself laying in the snow?”

Sonny ducked his head. “Elizabeth—”

“I can count, Sonny. Jason cut you and Carly out at the same time. And then she was pregnant. So yeah, I know exactly how much damage she can do. He nearly died.”

“It’s not—” Sonny took a deep breath. “She saw him dancing with you, and I taunted her. I told her that he was moving on. And you know, he was, Elizabeth. You had to know he cared about you—”

“Not enough to stay.” Her eyes burned. “I know why he left that first time. Because of her. Because she made it clear she would keep using Michael against him. So, he gave in. And he left.” She swiped at her tears. “I’m—I’m tired, Sonny. I’m tired of being a runner-up in a contest I never entered—”

“You and Jason made a lot of mistakes,” Sonny said carefully. “You know that’s true. But it’s not like that now. I know he loves you, Elizabeth. He has to have told you that by now.”

“He has.” Elizabeth tilted her head back and tried to catch her breath. “But he loved Robin. And he was with her longer.”

“Fair enough.” Sonny waited a moment. “I hear what you’re saying, Elizabeth. I really do, and you know, I-I agree with you. I don’t want to watch Jason chase after Carly, solving all her problems, either. But…what exactly are you asking for him…for either us to do?”

“Stop playing her games,” she said, then sighed. “I blew up at him this weekend, he hasn’t—we haven’t—talked. I told him I wouldn’t sit back and watch him run after Carly every time she called. But…”

“Okay.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize—have you thought about talking to him again?”

“Why bother? If I were any other girl he was dating, it wouldn’t even be—I don’t know. Maybe if I hadn’t had the year I’ve had, I could swallow it. But I—I just—I’m broken. I tried to tell him—”

“Stop it.” Sonny took a step towards her, as if he wanted to do something but he left the space between them. “You’ve been through hell. And God knows, you’re not wrong about what she’s capable of. Look, let’s just… let this lie for now, okay? Do…do you feel any better for having yelled at me? Because you can keep doing that if you don’t want to talk to Jason. I can listen.”

Elizabeth sat back down, exhausted. “I don’t know anymore, Sonny. I guess…you know they said love isn’t supposed to be easy. And I believe that. If it’s worth having—and I believe Jason loves me. But it’s like it always is. We do really well inside our own bubble. When the rest of the world gets involved…” She stared at the coffee pot. “Don’t tell him. He’s dealing with enough, and you know, I know that this isn’t easy for him. I know it would be better if I swallowed all of this and just…sucked it up. Held his hand—”

“The last thing Jason wants you to do is be anyone other than who you are. And you know what?” He dipped his head down so their eyes met. “I’m proud of you, you know. A year ago, you folded in on yourself. You weren’t honest with yourself and now you can’t hold back.”

“Yeah. Whoopee.” Elizabeth rose. “Thanks, Sonny. It did—it did help to just…admit how angry I am. And to realize that it’s not even about Jason. It’s about me. It usually is. It’s like he’s doomed to pay for the mistakes of others—”

“To be fair,” Sonny said as he held the door open for her to go back inside. “This time it looks like he’s actually paying for his own mistakes.”

Jake’s: Jason’s Room

Jason grimaced as he studied his cell phone, his finger hesitating over Elizabeth’s name. This wasn’t like him.

He was decisive. He didn’t have second thoughts.

But he hadn’t spoken to Elizabeth in two days. Hadn’t seen her. And after four months of being with her—of spending nearly every night together—this silence sucked.

But he didn’t know how to make it stop. How to convince her that it wasn’t like all the times with Carly and Robin. That it was different.

Because Jason was almost convinced Elizabeth was right. That Carly wasn’t manipulating him. He’d gone to the hotel, and Carly had just cried. Told him that Sonny came to see her, said all kinds of awful things to her. If she had Michael back—

So he’d told her he wouldn’t come the next time she called. He was done waiting for her to come clean. And then he’d ignored her phone calls.

He just wished he hadn’t left Elizabeth at the studio on the Friday. That she hadn’t had to force him to see what Carly was up to.

A sharp knock drew him out of his thoughts and he closed his phone, standing.

“I know you’re in there,” Carly snarled. “Open up.”

Jason took a moment to take a deep breath and braced himself for another round with Carly. She was coming to him this time, so that had to be…a good sign.

He opened the door to find her scowling at him. “Why the hell didn’t you answer your phone?” she demanded as she stalked past him. She narrowed her eyes at the scattering of cosmetics on his dresser—Elizabeth had started to leave things here to make it easier and he liked it.

“I still cannot believe you’re dating that little twit,” Carly muttered as she whirled to face him. “What do you see in these mealy mouthed little girls, Jase?”

Jason just stared at her. “Are you serious, Carly? What did I tell you—”

Carly’s lip trembled. “If I could just see Michael, if I could—just hold him, I could…I could start to get past it. It’s hard to think about what happened when I’m so worried about him.” One solo tear slid down her cheek. “Please, Jason. Just…let me see my little boy. We can talk about anything you want after that—”

“I—” He knew his line. He knew what she expected. But Jason stopped himself.

Because Elizabeth was right. This wasn’t about Michael. This was about Carly, and all the reasons he kept bailing her out.

And it had to end.

“When you left me guardianship,” Jason said slowly, “I didn’t immediately—I tried to keep him away from AJ. I talked to Alexis. I looked at my options. But she made it clear that I faced an uphill battle.”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake. You pay a judge—”

Jason shook his head. “AJ has the Quartermaines behind him. Even if he isn’t asking them for help. Any judge I tried to bribe Carly, Edward would have just given him more money. And we would have dragged Michael through all of that for nothing because I was never—” He swallowed hard. “I was never going to win.”

“She got to you, didn’t she?” Carly demanded. She picked up a tube of lipstick and sneered at it. “Little Miss Muffin Face. She’s all buddy buddy with Sonny’s stupid sister. AJ’s cheerleader. I bet Elizabeth couldn’t wait to bad mouth me and tell you to give Michael to AJ—”

There was so much…wrong in what she’d said that Jason couldn’t even take it all in. “Elizabeth didn’t tell me anything. I saw for myself. He’s sober, Carly. And he’s been good to Michael. That’s what I wanted for him—”

“You promised me,” Carly said as she tossed the lipstick down. It rolled off the bureau, across the floor. “You promised me you’d keep him away—”

“I couldn’t keep that promise—”

“So you take Michael and go,” she snapped. “There are a lot of countries without extradition—”

Jason took a moment, tried to keep himself calm. “Michael’s life is here. My life is here—”

“Oh, Elizabeth, right?” Carly rolled her eyes. Dismissive. “For the next five minutes. She’ll be running soon enough.” She smirked. “Isn’t she already avoiding you?”

“Are—” Jason sucked in a breath. Damn it. “Are you watching me?”

“So I’m right. Trouble in paradise.” And a glint ignited in her eyes—something he hadn’t seen in more than two years. Something he’d thought was dead and buried.

So this was how it was gonna be, Jason thought, with a surprising amount of bitterness. “It’s that simple for you, isn’t it? You think you can do what you did before. I’ll come running because you crook your finger. What, you think I’ll take Michael away from AJ so we can be a family?” he demanded.

She blinked at his harsh tone. “Look, Jase, we’ve both—we’ve both gone down different roads, and I guess maybe you like the hero worship, but Elizabeth Webber can’t give you what I can—”

Jason took her wrist as she reached out to slide her hand down his chest and held it between them, his grip tight. “We haven’t been together that way in five years, Carly.”

Carly yanked her hand back. “I want my son, Jason. You know what I’m capable of—”

“And you know what I’m capable of,” he said, flatly. “The terms haven’t changed. You’re not getting near Michael until you tell me where the hell you’ve been for five months and why you left.”

“We’ll see about that.” Carly snapped. “I’ll get my son back, and then you’re going to pay for keeping him from me. All of you will.”

General Hospital: Cafeteria

Bobbie sighed when Alan set his coffee on the table and took the seat across from her. “Hey.” His tone was kind, his eyes were concerned. And she wanted to throw herself out the window. She was sick of people looking at her that way.

“I don’t know what Carly is planning,” she said abruptly. “She came to my home in the middle of the night, screamed at me, and only came back once since then. I didn’t even see her.”

And wasn’t sure she wanted to.

“I’m not—” Alan took a deep breath. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t wondering what Carly had in mind. But that’s not—I’m just…I’m worried. And I thought we could be worried together.”

She closed her eyes. “I’m not…sure I have the energy left to be worried. I feel…empty. I love my daughter, but…” Bobbie looked at her old friend. “I love her the way a mother loves a child. I gave birth to her. I supported her. And I’m glad she’s alive. But at the same time—”

“You don’t know what direction to go.” He sipped his coffee. “How is Lucas handling all of this?”

“Lucas…is worried about Michael. He’s been hanging out with him, keeping him company at AJ’s. Helping the transition. He’s so good to that little boy, Alan. But he hates Carly. And that will probably never change. Not after this stunt.”

She hesitated. “I meant what I said. Carly hasn’t sought me out since that first night. When she came back to the house the next day, I was at work, and Elizabeth was there to run interference. To try to get answers. But she and Carly argued. Mostly about Jason, I’m sure.”

Bobbie stared down into her coffee, likely cold by now. “For months, I walked around in a fog, trying to do the best by her memory. By her son. And when she came home—when she walked through that door—I think I would have forgiven her anything if she’d only told me what happened. But she refuses, Alan. All she wants is Michael. There’s no room in her head for me, for what she put me or Jason through by being gone for five months.”

“Do you think it was willingly?” Alan asked curiously. “Carly is a lot of things, but I never—I never pictured her leaving Michael.”

“I don’t want to think that,” Bobbie admitted. “But it’s been more than a week, Alan. If she’d been kidnapped, if she’d lost her memory—why wasn’t that the first words out of her mouth? What reason does she have to come back here like she’s the victim? Like we did something to her—all we did was love Michael. And do our best by him. She won’t—she won’t slow down long enough for anyone to tell her about the custody issues.”

“I wanted to tell Jason how much I appreciated him giving AJ a chance, but I knew he wasn’t interested in my opinion,” Alan admitted. “And the fact that he’s stood by that—that AJ still has Michael even though Carly is home—”

“I would have told you that there was nothing Carly could do to make Jason cut her off. She destroyed his life over Michael. Married AJ. Slept with Sonny. Nearly got Sonny arrested twice. And still—he called her a friend.”

Alan’s lips thinned in displeasure. “I certainly never understood either of my sons when it came to Carly.”

“But this?” Bobbie shook his head. “Whatever my daughter is planning on, he’s not going to bail her out.” She sighed. “Or maybe I hope not. Because I don’t see Elizabeth putting up with it for long.”

He just tipped his head in silent inquiry, so Bobbie elaborated. “Playing second fiddle to Carly. Which is what tends to happen to anyone in Jason’s life when Carly is a factor. Carly has a way of convincing Jason to help her—and I used to be grateful for that. Because he kept her from going too far. But it’s too much to ask for him be that for another person. I don’t want him to destroy his life for her. Not again.”

She sipped her coffee, then grimaced. It was ice cold and not in a good way. “I know you’re concerned about AJ losing custody of Michael again, but you know…I’m not sure my daughter has even faced the possibility that a judge is going to look at the two of them and leave the situation as it is. She’s so used to getting her way with Michael that…I fear for us all when she realizes that this time…she might lose him.”

Kelly’s: Courtyard

As Elizabeth folded up a chair to stack it with the others, her toe caught the edge of another chair and she tripped, sending the whole stack sliding across the courtyard.

“What the fuck,” she muttered, kicking the chair. It clattered against the rest of them. “God I hate this world—”

“Hey.”

Elizabeth turned to find Jason at the entrance. “Hey.” She sighed and then started to pull the chairs back into formation.

“Can we talk—”

“Jason—” She closed her mouth. “Fine. Go ahead. I’ve said what I need to say, except—” She set a chair down and looked at him. “I know you’re dealing with a lot. And I’m not—I’m not a bitch. I can see you’re struggling. I just—”

“You’ve been around Carly long enough to know what she’s capable of.” Jason slid his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I don’t—I don’t want this to be like it was with Robin. I didn’t do right by her. And she was right about Carly. You’re right.”

“Not sure that gives me a lot of comfort, Jason.” Elizabeth walked back towards the diner, opening the door. “I knew I was right. You knew I was right. But you still went.”

“You told me to go—” He stopped talking as the door swung shut behind them and he watched her go behind the counter. “But you were right. I wanted to go. I thought—I thought I could find the right thing to say. That there had to be something I hadn’t tried.

“Carly…” Jason hesitated. “After the accident, everyone looked at me like I was…a problem to fix. Even Robin and Sonny. They both thought they knew better than me—”

“You told me once you grew up in Sonny’s eyes, but not in Robin’s.” Elizabeth studied him. “But that was before that night at the boxcar.”

“Sonny thought I needed to be free from Carly. And he knew—he knew how to play her.” Jason looked away. “So he slept with her.”

“I did the math when she got pregnant. I’m sorry. But that doesn’t explain—”

“Why I let Carly get away with so much.” He exhaled slowly. “Carly never thought I was damaged.”

Elizabeth tilted her head. “So…fixing her problems, what…proves it?”

“I guess. I don’t know. I just…I see her in trouble, and something in me tells me to fix it. I never really thought about why before. I should have. I could have saved Robin a lot of pain if I could—” Jason shook his head. “That doesn’t matter.”

“Great. So now you know why you jump when she calls. Doesn’t change it.” Elizabeth slid some paperwork in her tote. “I’m surprised she hasn’t called you yet. We’ve been here ten minutes—”

“You were right about that, too. She is—she knows when we’re together. Because she knew you hadn’t been at Jake’s.”

“Oh, I bet she did.” Elizabeth’s smile felt as sour as her stomach. “And she came to see you, right? Probably finally played her trump card.”

“Yeah. Promised to tell me whatever I wanted if she could see Michael.”

“Smart. Didn’t ask for Michael outright, just to see him. You must have been tempted.”

“I—” Jason hesitated. “I would have been.”

“Don’t do anything because you don’t want to upset me.” Elizabeth came out from behind the corner as she untied her apron. “You want to give in to her, that’s your problem—”

“Hey—” Jason took her by the elbow. “Just—just stop. Can you just listen to me? Or are you going to—”

“Be bitchy?” Elizabeth demanded. “What, do you want a cookie because you saw Carly was manipulating you before you gave in? We’re all out, but maybe I can dig up a lollipop—”

“Elizabeth—Damn it.”

She stepped back away from him. “I’m sorry. What do you want from me?”

“I—” He dragged his hands through his hair. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Elizabeth. Whatever Carly is up to, she had help. How the hell do I know it’s not someone coming after us? What if she’s part of it?”

Elizabeth looked down at her feet. “Jason—”

“She thought I would just—” His hands dropped to his side. “She thought I would bring her Michael and we’d—we’d just be a family. Like nothing happened.”

She rolled her eyes. “I saw that coming, too, didn’t I?”

“There’s nothing—” Jason paused. “You don’t have to feel threatened by Carly, Elizabeth. I told you. I love you.”

“I’m not threatened by Carly,” Elizabeth said with a touch of disgust. “I’m just—I told you. I’m not interested in letting her play you like a piano while I stand by and wring my hands. Carly’s not going to run my life.”

“I don’t plan on letting Carly run my life either,” Jason said, his eyes flashing with impatience. “It’s been a week—”

“No one ever plans for Carly,” she shot back. “That’s how she gets you. Great, Jason. You know she’s manipulating you. I’m thrilled for you.”

“Elizabeth—”

“I don’t want to fight anymore. I really don’t.” She rubbed her eyes. “I’m tired. I’m tired of watching Bobbie kill herself trying to understand her daughter. Of worrying about you and Michael. I’m just…I’m tired of Carly, Jason.”

“I know.” He swallowed hard. “This is—it’s gonna be over soon, okay? She’ll screw up. Or she’ll realize I’m not coming through for her. And she’ll have to tell us what’s going on. Just…” He held his hand out to her on the table, his palm facing up. “Just give me a chance, okay?”

Against her better judgment, Elizabeth took his hand. For all the times she hadn’t stood by him the year before—she owed him this. Even if everything inside of her was screaming at her to get out before it all fell apart.

Jason had never let her down, so she had to trust that he wouldn’t this time.

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever
Are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down – come around
I’m always gonna worry about the things that could break us
– Angels and Devils, Dishwalla

---

Thursday, August 29, 2002

Kelly’s: Dining Room

“Hey.” Elizabeth managed a smile for her best friend as Courtney tucked her purse under the counter and tied on her apron. “Welcome back.”

The blonde managed an exhausted smile. “Thanks for the time off—it’s been…” she sighed and shook her head. “Not great. I mean, it’s not Michael. He’s—”

“Tough?” Elizabeth offered as she measured coffee beans for the grinder. “Taking it all in stride?”

“I don’t know if that’s good or bad,” Courtney admitted. “Should he just not even blink when his mother returns from the dead? Or he is just so used to having his life upended that he just shrugs and moves on?”

“Well, he’ll probably be in therapy for the rest of his life. How’s AJ dealing with it?”

“Okay, I guess. He was worried Jason would change his mind at first the way he always does with Carly, but he hasn’t. And Carly hasn’t come back. Which makes us even more nervous.”

Elizabeth turned on the grinder and they were both silent for a few minutes while the machine roared.

“How is Jason doing with all of this?” Courtney paused. “I mean, if you want—”

“I don’t know. He’s not…” Elizabeth measured the first of the grounds into the pot, the habitual routine comforting to her. This—this she could do. “We had kind of a fight that first day after Carly came home. We’re not—we’re not not talking, but I guess he’s trying not to—”

“Are you okay?” Courtney asked after a moment when Elizabeth stopped speaking. “I know you’ve been waiting for the second shoe—”

“I don’t like Carly. Which I told him. And then she called him to come and talk.”

Courtney hesitated. “She did? But—”

“She didn’t tell him anything,” Elizabeth cut in. “Jason didn’t—he didn’t really get into it, but I’m sure she tried to guilt him like she always does.” Elizabeth waited a moment. “She called him again the next day. And then again yesterday.”

“And still hasn’t told him anything?” Courtney shook her head. “That doesn’t make any sense. Why—”

“She’s testing him,” Elizabeth muttered. “To see if she can—” She stopped. “I don’t know. Maybe that’s just me not liking her coming out. But it feels that way. It feels like she calls him to see if he’ll come running. And he does. Because he wants answers. Because he wants to fix this.”

With the coffee brewing and a signal from Don in the kitchen that he was ready to get started, Elizabeth flipped the sign on the door to open. In about ten minutes, they would be flooded with dock workers grabbing coffee and breakfast before or after a shift.

“Are…” Courtney hesitated. “Are you mad at him?”

“No.” Elizabeth considered her answer. “Just…resigned, I think. This is who Jason is. I just…I don’t know how I’m supposed to…do this. How I’m supposed to feel about it. I…I don’t want to be Robin.”

Courtney frowned. “I don’t get the reference.”

“Robin was Jason’s ex-girlfriend—”

“Who told AJ about Michael. Yeah, that much I know.”

“Robin put up with Carly for the last two years of her relationship with Jason. Carly was always a factor. In fact…Jason…” Elizabeth hesitated. “You know about the accident? That it…he had to…kind of relearn a lot of things.”

“Yeah—”

“Well, he slept with Carly even when he was with Robin. It’s not—it’s not important because I get it. And I’m not worried about that. But it’s always given Carly a sense of power over Jason. And Robin was basically humiliated in front of everyone when people thought Jason was Michael’s father—”

“Because it was during the period when they were dating.”

“Basically. And Robin put up with Carly over and over again. Jason let Carly get away with so much—you should hear the way Carly talks about Robin, and you just know she said it to her face—”

“Do you think he’ll do that to you—”

“No.” Elizabeth shook her head. “No, I don’t. I guess, mostly I don’t. He was pretty angry with Carly back when we were getting close. Carly and I got into it more than once when he was at my studio. And he stepped in. He says he’s learned from what happened with Robin. That he wasn’t fair to either of them in the end, but—” She looked at Courtney. “By the time Robin left town, I know they hated one another. Jason says he’s forgiven her, but I’m not sure he’s forgotten what she did.”

“What, you think because you made it clear you’re not really going to do much to help Carly, that it’s going to change things between you?”

“I don’t know. I feel like maybe it already has.” Elizabeth bit her lip. “And I’m not being fair, I guess. I know Carly is his friend. I may not understand it, but I’m not…I wouldn’t ask him to choose—”

“Why not?” Courtney demanded. “What’s she done to deserve his loyalty after all this?”

“She gave him Michael.” Elizabeth managed a smile for the first wave of customers as the bell over the door rang. “I can’t compete with that. I’m not going to.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I just…I’m not going to let Carly run my life or get in my face. Even to make his life easier. I’ve spent too much time letting people walk all over me. That part of my life is over.” Elizabeth picked up her order pad. “I know who I am now. And no one is going to change that. Not ever again.”

Cosmopolitan Hotel: Lobby

AJ stood from his seat when Carly strode out of the elevators. “Make it quick,” his ex-wife barked as she approached him, her arms crossed tightly. “If you’re not here to give me back my son—”

“I don’t want to be at odds with you, Carly,” AJ murmured. “I want us to figure out a way to resolve this without—without making Michael’s life more complicated.”

“Then give him back—”

“That’s not on the table,” he said quietly. Her lips pressed into a thin line. “I have my rights back. And until you petition the court to vacate Jason’s guardianship, legally, you can’t say anything about where Michael goes. Who he sees.”

“Jason will come around. He always does. He’s just mad at me right now.”

And AJ knew that was probably true. That his time was limited to make an agreement with Carly. Jason had stood by him so far, but eventually—eventually Jason would give in.

He always took Carly’s side.

“That could be weeks. Or least until you tell him what’s going on and where you’ve been since April.” AJ held his hands up, palms facing her. “Michael is asking about you. We—we told him you were alive. And he’s so happy, Carly. God, he missed you.”

“I missed him, too. And I—”

“I’ve been sober a year.” AJ took his chip out. The small gold chip that meant almost as much to him as the wedding ring he wore. “I know why you’re scared. What happened two years ago, Carly, I can’t—”

“You killed my son. You’re lucky you’re alive,” Carly hissed. She snatched the chip out of his hand. “This? This doesn’t mean a damn thing to me. Easy come, easy go.”

And then she flicked it away, sending it rolling across the lobby floor until it disappeared under a sofa.

He followed its progress, noting exactly where it had landed, and then looked back at Carly. At the smug, arrogant set of her features. “You really think Jason is going to come through for you, don’t you?”

“He always does. He just—” Carly’s lips trembled just a moment—just long enough for the mask to slip. For AJ to see that she wasn’t…quite as convinced as she said she was. “He’s just mad at me right now,” she repeated. “He’ll get over it.”

“Not until you tell him what happened.” AJ paused. “But if he does try to take Michael—it’s not going to be like before. I’m going to fight you, Carly. I gave you ammunition to keep Michael before. The warehouse fire. The…” His throat closed. “The stairs. My drinking. But none of those were the reasons you kept Michael from me in the beginning—”

“Don’t even try me—”

“You lied to keep Tony Jones happy. And then you lied because I was angry. Because you—” He dipped his head. “You destroyed my life. You…you made me think I was drinking again, Carly. To make your life easier, you made me think I had thrown away everything I had worked on. You were my friend. And you destroyed my life.”

“I had—” Carly closed her mouth. “Don’t blame me for your damage. I never forced you to pick up a bottle.”

“No,” AJ said softly. “But you made me think I had. I’ve never been in a good position to fight you, Carly. I am now. I have a good job. I have a good relationship with my family.” With Jason, for now, but AJ wasn’t hopeful it would last once Jason had forgiven Carly. “I don’t want to drag Michael through court. I think we could make something work between us—”

“Michael is my son. If you don’t give him back to me, then Jason will make you.”

“He can try.” AJ sighed. “You know where I live, Carly, if you change your mind.”

And with that, he strode away, moved the sofa, retrieved his chip, and left.

He would wait to see what Jason decided, but having had a taste of Michael in his life again—there was nothing in the world that could make him give that up.

Friday, August 30, 2002

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Elizabeth set the coffee down in front of Bobbie and then sat across from her. “I haven’t seen you much this week,” she said to her landlord. “How…how are you?”

“Oh…” Bobbie sighed, stirring some cream and sugar into the mug. “I’m surviving. Lucas is speaking me again. Apparently, since Carly didn’t move back in with us and Michael is still with AJ, he feels like he can trust me.”

“I know he’s struggled with Carly for several years,” Elizabeth said. She sipped her own iced tea. “So you…haven’t seen her?”

“Not since that first night. Have you?”

“Not since Sunday when she came to the house. Courtney said AJ went to talk to her, but—Carly thinks Jason is gonna fix everything so—” Elizabeth shrugged. Sat back. “She wasn’t in a negotiating mood.”

“God.” Bobbie pressed her fingertips to her temples. “And Jason told me he still hasn’t gotten anything out of her. Not for lack of trying, of course. I don’t understand. Why won’t she just—why won’t she tell us—”

Elizabeth sipped her water. What did it say about her that she just couldn’t dredge up any real interest in where Carly had been? Or why she wouldn’t tell Jason or anyone else? Yeah, maybe it hadn’t been Carly’s fault, but what was Elizabeth supposed to do about it? She’d reached out to the insufferable woman and had had her hand slapped for it.

And her every waking moment for the last six days had been steeped in the drama of Carly’s life. Which was fine, she supposed. It was only the first few days, and Carly had returned from the dead. She couldn’t hold Bobbie’s emotional state or Jason’s agitation against them.

But Carly had called Jason again the night before. And Jason had, again, dropped everything to go talk to her. Then Jason hadn’t come back, and from the way Bobbie was talking—there was still no update on where Carly had been. Which meant she still wasn’t talking.

“She hasn’t made any legal moves to get Michael back?” Elizabeth asked.

Bobbie frowned. “No—I think—she must think she’ll bring Jason around without—Are you—are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I’m not—I’m not the one going through any of this, Bobbie. I’m upset for you. For Jason. And for AJ and Michael. But beyond that…” Elizabeth fiddled with the napkin on the table in front of her. “This doesn’t really affect me.”

She avoided the redhead’s eyes when Bobbie squinted at her. Elizabeth continued, “Jason will figure it out eventually. Either he’ll find a way to make Carly tell the truth or she’ll do something even worse and the truth will come out anyway.”

Bobbie pressed her lips. “You…things are all right with Jason, aren’t they? Not that I pay attention to these things, but you haven’t been home much this week—”

“I’ve been staying at my studio. Painting. Getting in some time before classes start next Tuesday. It’s my last semester, so I’ll be swamped between classes and work.” Elizabeth set the napkin down, ignoring the tears and twists her fingers had made. “Jason’s been busy. I didn’t expect anything less.”

“Has he—”

“Worrying about Carly is a full-time job,” Elizabeth said with a false smile. “You know that.”

“I do,” Bobbie said slowly. “Jason—you know he’s worried about Michael—”

“He is. Which is why Michael is still with AJ.” For now. Elizabeth cleared her throat. “She calls him. He goes to talk to her. He’s not making much headway, I don’t think, but he will. You know how stubborn Jason can be.”

“I do,” Bobbie repeated. “But—”

“It’ll work out.” Elizabeth got to her feet. “Jason will fix this, Bobbie. He always does.”

“Elizabeth—”

“I have to get back to work.”

Cosmopolitan Hotel: Carly’s Suite

When Carly swung open her hotel room door and glared at him, Sonny remembered how he had hated her once. How he had seen a bitter, venomous viper whose only redeeming quality was her fierce loyalty to Michael.

He thought he had found a heart underneath all that anger and vindictiveness—that she had shown a mask to the world, but that he knew the vulnerable woman underneath.

And now he wondered if they had all just been fooled.

“Carly.”

“We have nothing to say to one another—” She started to slam the door shut, but Sonny slapped a hand against it and stopped it. “How did you even get up here? Did you bribe someone?”

Sonny just flashed her a smile. “I’m a friendly guy.”

“We have nothing to say to each other,” Carly repeated. “You said it all when you kicked me out. When you walked away from Michael—”

“Uh uh. You do not get to make me the bad guy here, Carly. I was generous in our divorce settlement, and I got AJ to surrender his rights—”

She snorted. “A lot of good it did me—”

“I am not the one who walked away from him for five months.” Sonny tipped his head to the side. “What I can’t figure out is whether it was on purpose or…something that got out of hand. You trying to get my attention? Is that what this is about?”

“Please.” Carly rolled her eyes and walked back into the room. He followed her, closing the door. “You were just Jason in a fancy suit.”

Sonny studied her. There was something to that statement of course—they had become closer when Jason wasn’t available. Wasn’t in town. And he liked the finer things in life. Had a lot of money.

“You trying to get Jason to come home? He’d have to come home for Michael. Did you fake your death for that?”

“Maybe.” Carly lifted her chin. “What do you care?”

“I don’t,” Sonny said. “I care about Jason. And Michael.” And Elizabeth, but that wouldn’t be useful to say. “You ask someone to help you? They turn on you, wouldn’t let you leave? Because if you wanted Jason to come home, you probably should have revealed yourself before he started dating Elizabeth—”

“Like she’s competition,” Carly muttered. She lifted a glass of wine to her lips, but her fingers were trembling. “I know what I’m doing, Sonny. And it’s none of your damn business.”

“You think Jason will forgive you for putting Michael through this? For making Bobbie bury another daughter?” He shrugged. “Even if he did, it doesn’t change anything. He doesn’t love you. He told himself he did. But he knows better now.”

“What, his little twit loves him better?” she snarled, whirling to glare at him. “Because everyone is better than me, right?”

“You said it, I didn’t.” Sonny squinted. “You’re not going to dangle Michael in front of him like candy. It didn’t work four years ago, Carly. It’s not working now. He’s moved on.”

“Whatever—”

“Whatever you’re up to, Carly, just stop. You know the only people you ever end up hurting are yourself, Michael, and Jason. I don’t know what happed in April, Carly. I don’t—I don’t know if I can believe you did it on purpose.” Sonny exhaled slowly. “You love Michael too much.”

Carly just stared at him, her eyes burning with hatred. “You don’t know a damn thing about me, Sonny. You never did. I was just a toy for you to play with when you got bored. You wanted me to be someone else. Jason will give me my son back. He always comes back to me. And you know that.”

“Carly—”

“Let him have his fun with Elizabeth. Because he’ll get bored eventually. Just like he did with the princess. He’ll remember how good we had it. How close we were to having it all—”

“And then he’ll remember why you don’t. Because you accused him of kidnapping, Carly. And then you married his brother. And Jason lost Michael. And then you and I broke his heart. His trust.” Sonny shook his head. “You know it’s never been the same. He’s never trusted either of us the same way again.”

“Sonny—”

“Jason might have been halfway in love with you, God knows why at the moment, but you burned him to the ground, Carly. No one else. You might want to blame Robin or Elizabeth, but the truth of the matter is no one took Jason from you. You destroyed him. You’re not doing it again—”

“Yeah, well, we’ll see about that.” Carly stalked past him and jerked open her door. “You can go.”

Sonny stopped at the threshold and looked back at her. “We loved each other once,” he said quietly. “And we lost our little boy. I loved him, Carly. And I hated AJ for a long time. I still do,” he admitted. “But whatever is going on, Carly, Jason and I can’t help you until you’re honest with us.”

“I don’t owe you anything—”

“Maybe not. But you owe Jason.”

Elizabeth’s Studio

Elizabeth pushed the key into the lock and turned back to Jason with a smile. “I’m glad you called—that we could go for a ride.”

When he followed her in, she turned to face him and leaned up to kiss him. Jason kicked the door closed behind him with one booted foot as he pushed her light jacket from her shoulders.

“I’ve missed you,” she murmured as she tugged his shirt upwards.

“I—”

And then his phone rang. With a mutter, Jason stepped away, dug his phone from his pocket. “It’s Carly.”

Of course it was. Carly must have fucking radar, Elizabeth thought bitterly as Jason answered. Never failed. As soon as she and Jason had a minute to themselves—there she was.

Maybe she was watching them.

“Carly—I can’t—What? All right. Yeah. I’ll—” Jason cast a look at her, and she just arched a brow. “I’ll be there.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes. Of course he would.

“I have to—”

“Did you ask how high first?” she bit out, cutting him off. When he just blinked at her in confusion, Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Carly said jump, didn’t she? So, go.”

“Elizabeth—”

“She’s not going to tell you anything.” She grabbed her jacket from the floor and tossed it over the sofa. “You’ll go over there, and she’ll try to guilt you. And eventually you’re going to think that the only way Carly will tell you the truth is if you get Michael back for her—”

“Hey—”

Elizabeth faced him, jabbing her finger at him. “I am not Robin.”

He scowled. “What the hell does that mean?”

“I am not going to let Carly run my life until I loathe the sight of her and you. I don’t care where Carly was. I only care how it effects the people I love. And that includes you. And Bobbie and Michael. She does not get to waltz back in here like she wasn’t dead for five months, Jason. You grieved for her. And now it’s like—”

She closed her eyes. “It’s like we’re all just treating this like another episode in the Carly show. Well, Carly screwed up again. Let’s bail her out—”

“Is that what you think I’m doing—”

“You are drowning in guilt because Carly made you promise something completely stupid five years ago,” Elizabeth shot back. “But you know what? You promised her she could keep Michael, and she abandoned you. She walked out on you to deal with Michael on your own. And you raised him. He was your son. You made a promise to him to love him—”

Her voice broke. “And you’re so pissed at yourself because you broke a promise to Carly. Why the hell should that matter? Why isn’t Michael more important—”

“He is—” Jason sliced a hand through the air, all but growling in response. “Have I even once said I’ll get Michael back for her—”

“No. But you’re thinking about it,” Elizabeth said flatly. “You’re thinking if you can clean this up, if you can find out how Carly is in trouble this time, maybe you can make her understand why AJ has custody and everyone can live happily ever after—”

“I—”

“And it hasn’t once crossed your mind that maybe Carly doesn’t deserve to get Michael back at all,” she continued, scathingly. “Nothing AJ has ever done to Michael could be as bad as what Carly’s done to him. She’s used that little boy as a meal ticket for five years. She nearly got Sonny thrown in jail and still sued him for child support and alimony. She played you and AJ against each other after she got done drop kicking Tony Jones—”

“What—” Jason held up his hands. He took a deep breath. “Wait. Let’s just…let’s just stop this for a minute, okay? Let’s—”

“I get it, okay?” he continued when Elizabeth said nothing. “Carly has…Carly hasn’t done much for me except…” Destroy his life on a regular basis. “And you’re right. I do feel guilty because it’s one thing not to keep my promise when I thought she was dead, it’s another to actively keep her from Michael. But me feeling guilty, Elizabeth? It’s not gonna change anything. Because you’re right. I don’t know where Carly has been. Or why she was gone for so long. Maybe it wasn’t her fault. I don’t know. What I know is that Michael is safe where he is. Happy. And that has to come first with me. It does. It’s just—”

“Then why do you go every time she calls?” Elizabeth demanded. “Every single time. What’s going to change this time, Jason? Why do you magically think that this time Carly is gonna tell the truth?”

“I—”

“Because she’s won’t. She’s manipulating you. And I’m done watching.” Elizabeth nodded towards the door. “So, go.”

“What does that mean?” Jason demanded. “If I go, what, we’re done? What the hell does one thing have to do with another?”

“I will not play Robin’s role in this ridiculous farce,” Elizabeth said. “You humiliated her, Jason. You know that. And you drove her away. Because you kept letting Carly get away with everything. I don’t understand it and I don’t want to. Whatever is between the two of you—that’s not friendship. It’s sick. And I’m tired of it.”

“It’s been a goddamn week, Elizabeth—”

“It’s been years,” Elizabeth said, her teeth clenched. “Years. Because yeah, she’s been back for a week. But you’ve been playing her games for years.”

“Damn it—”

“I am done,” she repeated. “Because this will never change. Because if this—if you forgive her for this, if you take that little boy away from AJ because you think it will make Carly tell you the truth—”

“I never said I would do that—” But he looked away.

“Yeah, I’m not an idiot. I know you, Jason. I know how you think. And I know Carly. I can practically see the gears turning in her head. She keeps calling you when we’re together, Jason. Hasn’t that crossed your mind? Does she call you when you’re with Sonny? When you’re at work?”

“I—”

“No. She calls you when you’re with me. Because she wants to see if she can still make you dance to her tune. And you’re doing it. You are walking away from me to go to her.” Her eyes burned. “This is call number five. How long do I have to put up with it before you think it’s okay for me to be upset about it? Ten? Twenty? She’s never going to tell you where she was, Jason.”

“She will—”

“She won’t. Not until she’s backed into a corner. And you’re letting her off the hook. Because it’s Carly, right? She does insane things. Awful things. But she always has a reason, right?”

“Elizabeth—”

“She’s watching you. Or someone is watching you. Because she knows when we’re together. And she knew where AJ and Courtney lived. She still has her goddamn cell phone and that should be at the bottom of the fucking lake. She faked her death, Jason. I don’t give a shit how she did or if whoever helped her turned against her. Kept her away—you think because you and Sonny don’t tell me what you’re thinking, I don’t know?”

Jason held up a hand. “I don’t want to argue with you, Elizabeth. C’mon.” His voice softened. “I love you—”

“I love you, too, but you know what? I love me more. I have to put myself first. And if I honestly thought it was just…it was just going to be these couple of days, if I thought that we were just—going to have to keep our heads down until Carly came clean, then maybe I could deal with it.”

She closed her eyes. “But you know I’m not crazy. Because when it comes to Carly, there will be a next time. There is always a next time. You’ve been on this ride for five years, Jason. Maybe you like it. Maybe you like that she sees you as some kind of superhero that can fix anything. But I’m not playing back up. So, if you want to go and have another useless conversation with Carly while she just tries to guilt you—” She gestured to the door. “Be my guest.”

Jason took a deep breath. “She’s in trouble, Elizabeth. And Michael—we need to know the answers for his sake—”

“Stop. Do not use Michael.” The tears were hot as they slid down her cheeks. “You’re better than that. You need to fix this for her. Stop lying to yourself. You’ve made saving Carly your life’s mission, and you don’t know how to stop. It’s your life, Jason. You get to do what you want. But I do not have to stand by and watch.”

“Elizabeth—”

She walked past him, pulled the door open. “You should go. Because if you stay now, it’ll be because I’m upset. But you want to go. I can see it.”

He exhaled slowly. “I just have to-I’ll—I’ll tell her that this is it. This is the last time—”

“I think you honestly believe that,” she murmured as Jason passed her. “But it never is. There’s always a next time.”

She closed the door even as he was opening his mouth to say something else. And shoved the bolt home.

Elizabeth pressed her forehead against the door. It was the right decision, she knew that. She needed to make herself clear. To put herself first.

She just wished it didn’t hurt so damn much.

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m gonna fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it’s coming down, down, down
– Down, Jason Walker

---

Sunday, August 25, 2002

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

It was just after eight in the morning when Jason stepped off the elevator on the fifth floor and found Bobbie behind the nurse’s station, a pen in her hand, a stack of paperwork in front of her. Her familiar red hair was tugged back, and her face was bare, her eyes exhausted.

She raised her eyes as he approached.

“If it’s possible,” she murmured, “you look worse than I feel.” She capped her pen and gestured to the waiting area. “I’m sorry. I know you were at the Brownstone last night, but I just…”

Jason waited until she had perched on the edge of the sofa before speaking. “It’s okay. It was…” He shook his head. “I don’t even know. I haven’t really…processed it yet.”

“I saw Elizabeth and Gia this morning. They told me that you’d caught up to Carly at AJ and Courtney’s. I—I didn’t tell her the address.” Bobbie hesitated before continuing. “At least, I don’t think I did. I’m not even sure I know the house number, just the neighborhood and what the house looks like—” She cut off, closed her eyes. “I can’t. I can’t think straight. I don’t know how to deal with this either, Jason.”

“I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing with Michael,” he admitted. “I know Elizabeth thinks I am, but I don’t know, she’s never liked Carly—and—” He stopped. “I don’t mean—”

“I know what you mean.” Bobbie took his hand, squeezed it. “You and I are the only ones, I think, that have seen the real Carly. That appreciated the person behind the anger. The desperation. The insanity. Elizabeth…made her peace with Carly, but she never liked her much. And the feeling was mutual.” Bobbie was so weary. So beyond it all.

“I know the length you’ve gone to make sure Carly kept custody of Michael,” she said slowly. “So, if you think leaving him with AJ is the right decision, I’ll defend you. I promise.” She pressed a hand to her cheek, closing her eyes. “I buried her, Jason. Not her body. But I planned a memorial service. I purchased a stone. She’s supposed…she’s supposed to be resting next to BJ. I can’t do this again, I just can’t.”

“I’ll find out what’s going on—”

“From the moment she showed up in my life, there hasn’t been a moment’s peace,” Bobbie continued softly. “Her affair with Tony, her need to ruin my life…Michael’s kidnapping, going away to Ferncliffe…the paternity mess, and God, her accusing you of kidnapping. Marrying AJ. Losing that baby. Turning Sonny into the feds…” She looked at Jason. “I’m exhausted. And my son looks at me like he hates me.”

And for Bobbie to be at the end of her rope—Bobbie who had always seemed to find more patience, more love for Carly—Jason felt less…alone.

Because he and Bobbie were the only ones who had always managed to support Carly. To find the reason, the explanation for the crazy plans and destruction. Because there always had been a reason.

“I don’t know what Carly’s planning,” Jason said after a long moment of silence. “But I’m not going to let her put Michael in the middle. Not again. I—I left Port Charles to keep her from using Michael against me. Robin—” He shook his head, not quite believing he’d come around to knowing Robin had been right.

“Robin told AJ the truth because she thought it meant Carly couldn’t manipulate me anymore. But I’ve let her do it anyway.”

“Michael’s been better for it,” Bobbie said with a sad smile. “Your postcards you’ve sent—and I told him stories while you were gone. Showed him the pictures. I read from those travel books you left for him. He knew you, Jason, when you came back.”

“She thought I would always take her side,” Jason told her. “That I would do whatever she wanted me to do because it was best for Michael. But it’s not this time. He’s…he’s okay with AJ and Courtney. And he was doing okay with you and Lucas at the Brownstone. It’s Carly who’s taken apart his life. I don’t know—I can’t believe she’d leave him willingly, but if she doesn’t tell me what happened…”

“She’s going to force you to take sides, Jason.” Bobbie covered his hand with hers. “I don’t know if it’s going to go to a court hearing, but you know it might. You’ll be asked—”

“And I’ll do what’s right for Michael.” Even if went against everything Jason had fought for all those years ago. “No matter what it is.” He hesitated. “Will you?”

“I’m hesitant to do anything that will make Carly…worse,” Bobbie admitted. “But he’s my grandson, and I want better for him. And right now, that’s to stay where he is.” She sighed. “I should get back to work. Do…” She hesitated. “I almost want to ask if you know where she’s staying, but you know what? I don’t think I can deal with it right now. I don’t think I have the energy.”

Brownstone: Living Room

“It’s not that I mind sitting at Bobbie’s all day—she’s got a better cable package than we do—but how do we even know Carly will show up?” Gia said as she flipped through the channels.

Elizabeth grimaced when her roommate found a rerun of Sex and the City to watch and then resumed peering through the lacy curtains at the sidewalk out front. “We don’t. But I doubt she’s going to go near Jason today.”

“Yeah?” Gia tipped her head, intrigued. “You’d think he would have been her first stop. I mean, I didn’t live in Port Charles when she had his balls on a chain around her neck, but I do remember the way she talked about him when I was at Deception.”

“Yeah, well, Carly also has a sense of when to back off. It never lasts long,” Elizabeth added. “And eventually she talks herself into thinking Jason will take her side this time, but…” She sighed and turned away from the window. “I don’t know. I thought she’d grown out of all of this. Reacting first. Never thinking anything through.” She shrugged. “You remember when I told you about that December in my studio?”

“When you were hiding Jason’s gunshot from everyone and letting everyone think you were doing the nasty? Yeah. He and Carly were still…” Gia wiggled her fingers. “Doing whatever.”

“She’d come barging in, trying to intimidate me. Like I gave a shit about what she said. She’d throw Lucky’s death in my face or talk about how I was just a little girl.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “And then Jason would tell her to get the hell out. She’d do it. And then maybe two days later, she’d be back. He was supposed to be in hiding and she knew that. She still pulled the fire alarm to get him out of my building. But she did that with everything. She told everyone Jason was Michael’s father because she panicked. Told the Q’s that Jason kidnapped Michael, basically. Married AJ.”

“One woman walking disaster. Got it. So, she knows how to take Jason’s temperature. Figures the guilt will set in.” Gia nodded. “But coming back here?”

“She also knows Bobbie has a soft spot for her. I remember when it came out that Carly was Bobbie’s daughter.” Elizabeth pursed her lips. “It was just…before that Valentine’s Day, so I was still kind into all the gossip at that point, you know? And Bobbie flipped out at first. But…”

“But Carly was her daughter.”

“And Bobbie’s always had a blind spot for her.” Elizabeth bit her lip. “I just…I don’t know. You knew Carly this last year. She was different, wasn’t she?”

“I guess.” Gia hesitated. “But you know, she didn’t have a choice, you know? Jason was gone. And Bobbie supports her, but even that has its limits. Sonny just…he never looked back after she pulled that shit last year. Carly didn’t have anyone to save her this time. Anyone to turn to. So, she had to rely on herself. Had to get it together. I would have thought she was doing well, but….” Gia bit her lip. “I just don’t know.”

“Yeah, well, the Carly I saw last night—that’s the Carly I got to know after Jason got shot. She’d ripped his heart out by sleeping with his best friend after marrying his brother and taking away his son. He just wanted her to go away, to give him space. And she just kept going after him. Because she only cared about herself. What she wanted. What was important to her.”

“And Jason has a blind spot for her, too.”

“Always. I could see it last night when he was trying to give her an excuse for what happened. But Carly didn’t see that. Didn’t see how upset he was. Or hurt he was. She never does. It was all about her again.” Elizabeth rubbed her head. “And that’s when she’s the most dangerous, Gia. I don’t know where the hell she’s been, but you know what? I don’t know if I even care. I just don’t want her to go after Jason. She’s never made him a target, you know. He’s always been collateral damage.”

A car door distracted them both from the conversation and Gia parted the curtains with a smirk. “Score one for you, Webber,” she murmured as they watched Carly stalk up the front steps. “You do know her.”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth sighed as they heard the locks turn and the door shove open. “God help me, I do.”

Carly turned the corner from the front hallway into the living room, her eyes already snapping with the same anger as the night before. “Where’s my mother?” she demanded.

“Not here,” Elizabeth said plainly, remaining seated in the arm chair. “Can I help you, Carly?”

“You—” Carly took in a deep breath. “You can tell me why the hell my son is with that asshole—”

“I’ll be happy to tell you anything you want to know,” Elizabeth said with a friendly smile. “But you have to answer my questions too—”

Carly snorted. Dismissed with a wave of her hand “Whatever little girl—”

“You’re underestimating me, Carly. Again.” Elizabeth tipped her head. “I live with your mother. I babysat Michael. I’m dating Jason. Courtney is one of my best friends. I know exactly why Michael is with AJ.”

Carly hesitated at that, her eyes narrowing. “You’re dating Jason.”

“Yep.”

“And it’s all thanks to you, Carly,” Gia said. “If you hadn’t died, Jason wouldn’t have come home.”

“Gia—” Elizabeth looked at her. “Don’t help.”

“Sorry. Couldn’t resist.”

“I want my son,” Carly said flatly. “Unless you’re going to help me with that—”

“Carly, Bobbie buried you,” Elizabeth cut in. She rose to her feet. “She ordered a headstone and laid you to rest next to BJ. So, let’s cut the bullshit. I don’t know where the hell you were, and as I was just telling Gia, I don’t particularly care—”

“Of course not. You know that I’m a threat to you.” Carly flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I’m single. Jason’s home—”

Gia burst into hysterical laughter while Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “It’s like time travel,” she told Gia. “She still thinks Jason is some sort of toy you can take from someone. You know what she told me once?”

“Damn it,” Carly hissed.

“What?” Gia asked, ignoring Carly.

“She told me she’d gotten rid of one little angel, and I was next—” Elizabeth offered a sickly-sweet smile at Carly. “Haven’t gotten rid of me yet, have you?”

“Day’s still young,” Carly growled, stepping towards her. But Elizabeth never backed up. Never gave an inch.

The first rule of dealing with Carly was to never show weakness. She would only use it against you later.

“Bobbie buried you,” Elizabeth repeated. “And Jason grieved. Michael cried. For days. Do you know what it’s like to explain to a five-year-old about Heaven?”

At that, Carly blinked and closed her eyes. Her shoulders slumped. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah. We all worked hard to make sure that Michael was okay.” Elizabeth folded her arms, looked away. Because this was the Carly that always seemed the most genuine—the one who did honestly love her son. “Lucas played video games with him. I colored. Jason read to him. Bobbie cuddled him. We’ve tried to fill the void, Carly. But he loves you. He misses you.”

“I want my son,” Carly said, but this time her voice broke. “I want him back.”

“Then I need you to think about what you’re doing right now,” Elizabeth told her. “You showed up in the middle of the night, flipping out on everyone. We’re not idiots, Carly. You knew AJ had him before you showed up here. Which means you went after your mother just to attack her. You went to Sonny so that he damn well knew you were alive. And then you went to a house whose address you could not have possibly known.”

“I—” Carly pressed her lips together. “You don’t understand.”

“I don’t have to. It’s not my decision to make. You left Jason guardianship, Carly. And I know you didn’t do that just to stick it to AJ. You did that because Jason loves him. So I need you to remember how much Jason loves Michael—”

But it was the wrong angle to pursue, and whatever ground Elizabeth had gained was lost.

“He promised me that he would make sure I always had my son,” Carly said, her teeth clenched. The anger back in her eyes. “He promised me that AJ wouldn’t—”

“You were dead. And the situation changed,” Elizabeth said bluntly. “If you want to know how and why, then I’ll tell you. But you need to tell Jason where you’ve been. You need to tell him what’s going on. He can’t help you if you don’t talk to him.”

“I don’t need him to help me.” Carly turned abruptly and headed for the door.

“Carly—”

“I want my son back,” Carly shot back. “You tell Jason that if he doesn’t give me back my son, I’ll make him. And he’ll be sorry he lied to me.”

The door slammed so hard that the frame cracked.

“Well, that could have gone worse,” Gia said with a bright smile. “Time for the wine?”

“Shit.” Elizabeth looked at her watch. It was only noon, but — “It’s five o’clock somewhere.”

AJ & Courtney’s House: Living Room

Michael took the news with a bit of confusion. He thought people didn’t come back from Heaven, and if his mommy could, did that mean his little brother could? And how come his grandma Bobbie’s other daughter couldn’t come back?

These were not questions AJ could answer, but thank God, Courtney had managed to tell Michael that they had all been mistaken. That Carly hadn’t been in her car, so she’d never gone to heaven in the first place.

Okay, Michael had said, but then where had his mommy been?

And for that, Courtney couldn’t bring herself to lie. And neither could AJ. So they’d just…given that time-honored answer you’ll understand when you’re older and that Michael could see his mother as soon as everyone agreed on a good time.

“Should I be concerned that he took that so well?” AJ asked as he watched Michael’s uncle Lucas lead him into the family room, an Xbox game under his arm. Thank God for Lucas Jones, who somehow always knew when to show up with a video game.

“I think he’s been through so much that it’s just another event. And he’s young,” Courtney offered, biting at the nail on her thumb. “Children are resilient.”

He shouldn’t have to be resilient, AJ thought bitterly, and he spent every minute of the morning terrified Carly would show up to take him. That Jason would change his mind. He had visitation with Michael as long as Jason allowed it. That was the agreement, and AJ had been okay with it.

It had been a way to give Jason control over Michael’s safety. For them all to learn how to trust one another. And now…and now it was different.

Carly was back.

Oh, God, he still couldn’t wrap his mind around this.

“Jason isn’t going to change his mind,” Courtney said, dragging AJ out of his dismal thoughts. “And even if he did, we’d wouldn’t be back to square one.” She tugged him down on the sofa and sat next to him. “You have your parental rights back. And a year of sobriety under your belt. If Jason changes his mind, he’ll have to take Michael away.”

“He could do it,” AJ murmured, clasping his hands in front of his mouth, resting his elbows on his knees. “He could—”

“And then we’ll go to court. And Carly is the negligent parent right now,” Courtney said. “She’s the one who’s been gone for five months. And she’s the one who showed up with no word, won’t tell us where she’s been. AJ—”

“I’m sorry. I can’t seem to—”

It had been only three months since Michael had been back in his life. A month since the little boy had looked at him with hopeful eyes, calling him Daddy. AJ had showed him pictures of the brief year that he’d been allowed to be Michael’s father.

And the overnight visits had been fun, and it had seemed easy to be his father again. To watch Courtney happy and smiling with his son. To think of maybe…maybe having more children.

God, he wanted the chance to be a father from the ground floor.

“I get it’s hard for you to trust that Jason sees you differently,” Courtney said. “And maybe it’s easier for me since I didn’t know him before. But he doesn’t lie, right? That’s supposed to be his thing. And I know how hard he struggled to give you a chance. He and Elizabeth argued. I argued with her. He made the choice to support you, AJ. He came to your chip ceremony.”

AJ’s chest eased then and he closed his eyes.

“You’re the one who didn’t take the drink…you did the work.”

She rose to answer the door when someone knocked, leaving AJ to think about that. To consider actually trusting that he’d done enough this time to make Jason look at him as a new person. As someone other than the asshole who’d nearly killed him.

“Hey, Junior.”

AJ looked up to see Courtney showing Ned into the living room. He rose to his feet. “I guess…I guess you heard.”

“I did. It’s in the newspapers.” Ned held up the headlines. “They must have rushed to get the story published. Grandfather almost had a coronary, and Alan and Monica are…concerned. I told them I’d come over and check on you.”

Which meant the rest of the family would be held at bay. AJ hesitated and then gave Ned a quick recap of Carly’s erratic visit the night before—and Jason’s support in leaving Michael asleep in his room.

“You won’t just have Jason in your corner,” Ned said, tossing the newspaper down. “I know you’ve had your issues with the way Grandfather…shows his love. God knows I have, too. But he was proud of you getting your chip. And Grandmother is, too. And you impressed him…winning Michael’s custody on your own.”

“I didn’t—” AJ nodded. “I mean, I guess I did. But Jason gave me a chance—”

“Another factor which has not gone unnoticed. Monica is particularly pleased that her children might yet like one another at the same time in the same room.” Ned offered a half smile. “I don’t know what Carly is up to, but I’ve known her long enough to be sure it’s something. Grandfather wanted me to tell you that however you want to handle this, you tell us. And we’ll follow.”

Courtney blinked at that and then looked at AJ. “Seriously?”

And even though AJ had told himself he didn’t want or need his family’s approval—knowing he had it—that he had their trust—something inside him relaxed.

It was different this time. He was a better man. A sober man. A man worthy of having his son. And for the moment, he had allies.

“Right now, we’re sitting back,” AJ told him. “Jason’s right. Legally, Carly’s will has gone into probate. The court has recognized him as Michael’s guardian. My parental rights were reinstated. The custody agreement simply states I get visitation when Jason gives it. And for now, he’s leaving Michael here. I think he wants to see what Carly will do next.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Ned picked up the newspaper again, studied the photo of Carly above the fold. “And this…this next part isn’t a quid pro quo, it’s just…”

“The Quartermaines want to see Michael,” Courtney said flatly.

“It’s not a condition for their support,” Ned told AJ. “It’s just…you’re not the only one who lost Michael when Carly divorced you. He lived in that house for a year. Grandmother fell in love with him. And so did Alan and Monica. And you know Grandfather—”

“I know.” And AJ could understand that. “It’s something I’d want to talk to Jason about, and to be honest—”

“You’ve got enough on your plate. Well, just keep it in mind and let us know if we can do anything.”

When Courtney came back from walking Ned out, she bit her lip. “I guess it’s because I know they still don’t really like me—”

“You’re suspicious,” AJ said with a nod. “I am, too. But I think it’s because I’ve never had unqualified approval from my family. They’ve always had a string attached. I hope that’s not true this time. Ned’s right. The entire family lost Michael when my marriage fell apart. But I promised Jason that if he gave me a chance with Michael, I’d make sure he never had to be under that pressure.”

He exhaled slowly. “And that’s one promise I’m going to keep. Michael is never…for one moment…going to think he has to do anything to earn my love. All he has to do is exist.”

Brownstone: Front Steps

Elizabeth had a glass of wine in her hand when Jason parked his bike. That was probably not a good sign. His men had followed Carly to the Brownstone earlier that day—the blonde had stayed for all of ten minutes before storming out.

And Elizabeth had told him she would be at the Brownstone most of the day in case Carly came back.

“Hey, how was your day?” Elizabeth asked, with a smirk as she finished the last of the liquid in her glass. “Pretty sure I can make it worse.”

Jason climbed the steps and sat next to her. “Well, you talked to Carly and I didn’t, I’m sure that’s true.”

She offered him the wine bottle. “You want some? It might make it better.”

He shook his head, though if she’d offered vodka or a beer, he might—he might have taken it. It wasn’t often that he understood why AJ and people like him drowned their problems in alcohol, but tonight—

Tonight, he had never understood AJ more.

“So the guard on Carly said she didn’t stay long.”

“No. I didn’t—” Elizabeth hesitated. “I didn’t mean to fight with her, Jason. I was just—I wanted to tell her about Bobbie grieving. And I thought if I could just tell her how sad Michael was—but she came in all pissed off and angry. And she was…” She bit her lip. “Bitchy.”

Jason sighed, dipping his head. It was too much to hope that Elizabeth would have been able to get through to Carly. The two women had been at war for years, and he’d seen how the normally kind and compassionate Elizabeth could go toe to toe with Carly without blinking.

“What happened?” he asked.

She tensed. “She wanted me to tell her why Michael was with AJ, and I told her I would. We talked about that. That I would tell her about the chances you were facing in court if I saw her before you—”

“I know, Elizabeth.” And because he could see the unhappiness in her eyes, the slump in her shoulders, Jason took her hand in his. “Hey. I know you and Carly don’t get along. I didn’t think it would magically solve anything for you guys to talk. And I know that Carly has a way of making people—”

“She just—” She huffed. “It’s not important. I told her that I would tell her if she told you where she was, and I guess—I mean I was trying to convince her that I would have those answers, so I told her we were dating—”

Yeah, that probably hadn’t helped though Jason wasn’t sure how it could have been avoided.

“—so she said that I was threatened by her because she was single and you were home—and Gia sort of actually laughed at her—”

And to that, Jason couldn’t help himself. He smiled. He had never been good at imagining things, at creating pictures in his head. But sometimes…sometimes he could. And he could actually see Carly going up against Elizabeth and Gia and being pissed that she hadn’t won.

“But then I did get to tell her about Michael, and how we’d had to explain Heaven to him. She seemed—” Elizabeth bit her lip. “She seemed to listen to me then. For a minute. I told her we’d tried to be there for him. But that he missed her. And she just wanted him back, she said. So I…” She sighed. “I mean, I told her that we knew something was wrong, and that if she’d just tell you what was going on, you could help her.”

“And that didn’t get you anywhere?” Jason asked, a bit surprised. Usually Carly leapt at the chance to lay her problems at his feet. Maybe she’d been pissed last night, but—but it was a day later.

Why hadn’t she called him? Asked him for help?

“It actually seemed to make her mad again,” Elizabeth admitted. “And she left—but she said she didn’t want your help. That you were going to be sorry you lied.”

“That I lied?” Jason repeated.

“You promised her you’d always make sure she had Michael. I tried to tell her that it hadn’t been so simple—she’d been gone—I mean, maybe I could have been nicer about it, but damn it, Jason…” Elizabeth rose to her feet and stalked down the steps. She whirled around to glare at him. “I don’t like Carly.”

“That’s not news to me—”

“I thought I did. I thought—I thought I could almost understand her because you know, I’m really good at lying to people and making dumb ass choices and looking to you to fix them—”

“Elizabeth—”

“And I thought she was different before the accident, but you know what? She’s not. She’s still the same selfish bitch who destroyed Bobbie’s life and—” Elizabeth looked away. “You know what I would give to have a mother like Bobbie? Someone who always seemed to find something worthwhile in me? Whatever Bobbie’s faults, she’s stood by Carly. And this is how she repays her.” She looked at him. “And I know you don’t need me to be pissed on your behalf, but I am. I remember how much she hurt you before and maybe you forgave her, that’s your business—but I haven’t forgotten how you looked when you lost Michael. How you left town because of it.”

Jason exhaled slowly. “Elizabeth—”

“And I’m sorry because how I feel about Carly isn’t important.” Elizabeth’s hands fell to her side. “And you don’t need this right now. So I’m sorry about that.”

“I—” he hesitated. He just stared at her. “What do you want me to do?”

“I don’t want you to do anything,” she said with an irritated roll of her eyes. “I just—I’m sorry. I don’t know if I made it worse. Maybe I shouldn’t have had Gia in the room. It probably didn’t help for Carly to feel ganged up on. I just…” She bit her lip. “It’s none of my business, really. I guess.”

And he frowned at that. “Are we back to this again?”

“What?”

“I love you,” he told her, and if he’d thought the second time he’d told her that, he’d be angry with her, he wouldn’t have believed it. “But—”

She narrowed her eyes. “But what?” Elizabeth said with a bite in her tone Jason wasn’t sure he’d ever had directed at him. “But I can be a bitch sometimes?”

“No.” Jason stood. “But—” His cell phone rang, and he dug it out of his pocket to give himself time to think. And he just stared at the screen. Carly. She…still had her cell phone. Which…didn’t make sense. Her car was supposed to be at the bottom of Lake Ontario.

“Carly?”

“Jason…can we talk?”

“Yeah.” Jason rubbed the back of his neck. Turned away from Elizabeth. “Yeah. Where are you?” he asked.

Her laugh was short. Bitter. “Like you don’t know.”

“Carly—”

“I’m at the hotel. We need to settle a few things.”

She hung up first, and he put his phone back in his pocket. “Carly wants to talk.”

Elizabeth stared back at him with just a tip of her head. “That’s good.”

He exhaled slowly, and then walked down the steps until he faced her on the sidewalk. “I’ll call you—”

“I’m opening at Kelly’s in the morning—I have to pick up some of Courtney’s shifts. She wants to be close to the house for a few days.” Elizabeth brushed a kiss against his cheek. “So, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

And without another word, she walked up the stairs, opened the door to the Brownstone, and closed it behind her.