We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding me
Like someone broken
And I couldn’t tell you, but I’m telling you now
Just let me hold you while you’re falling apart
Just let me hold you and we’ll both fall down
– Ever the Same, Rob Thomas

---

Friday, October 3, 2008

Harborview Towers: Lobby

Nadine paced the short length of space between the sofas in the lobby of Harborview Towers, wringing her hands. She didn’t even know why she was here — not really. Only that the exchange with Leyla had cut deeply — her friend had looked at her the way everyone had a year ago.

The whispers would start again, Nadine realized. She hadn’t really been in Port Charles long enough to have a reputation of her own. She was still Jolene’s sister, that crazy bitch who’d hurt so many people and put the hospital in danger. And now she’d married Johnny Zacchara days after he’d haunted the hospital trying to see his mentally ill girlfriend — married him in the wake of Sonny’s shooting — no matter what choice Nadine made, which side she took —

There would always be people who would congratulate themselves for never trusting Nadine in the first place. For never looking past the Crowell name. And there would be others who castigated themselves for ever giving Nadine a chance at all.

“Nadine?”

She turned at the sound of Jason’s approach. He was dressed to leave — with a leather jacket thrown over his sweater. “Oh. You came down so fast. I wasn’t—” She licked her lips. “I’m sorry to bother you. You’ve already done so much for me, and I feel terrible—”

“It’s okay. I was on my way out. Are you okay?” Jason tipped his head. “Johnny left me a message that you were back, and things had gone the way you planned.” He hesitated. “Has something changed?”

“No. Yes. No.” Nadine sank onto one of the sofas, put her head in her hands. “I can’t do this. I promised, and I thought I could, and I was doing okay, but now I’m here, and it’s so real, and I’m not going to be able to do it.”

She heard him move and looked up to find Jason sitting in one of the chairs next to the sofa. “If you need a place to go, or to stay—if you’re worried about the Zaccharas—”

“How can you help us?” Nadine asked dully, staring down at the tiled floors. “Johnny shot your best friend. Everyone said you were like family. And I’m protecting him.” Jason fell silent, and she squeezed her eyes shut, mortified. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, that’s not fair and it’s none of my business.”

“Sonny has blamed Johnny for everything that’s gone wrong since the first day the kid came to Port Charles.” Jason’s quiet, calm words jerked Nadine’s eyes open, and she met Jason’s gaze. “Has he told you about the asylum?”

“Y-Yes.”

“Sonny shot first,” Jason said, and Nadine exhaled slowly. Then nodded. “And he shot at Johnny, could have killed anyone else around him, including you. None of what’s happened since then changes that fact.”

“No. No, I guess it doesn’t.” She chewed her bottom lip. “But—”

“Maybe some men in this business…” Jason hesitated. “Men like Anthony or Trevor Lansing wouldn’t care about the truth. Johnny knew that. He knew his father wouldn’t care that Sonny shot first or that Johnny was trying to protect himself and you. You’re a witness, Nadine, who puts his son at the scene of a crime.”

“I understand all of that, I do. A-And believe me, after telling them what we did in Vegas—” Nadine rubbed her hands across her thighs. “But—Sonny is still your friend.”

“As long as Sonny blamed Johnny for everything bad that happened to him, we were always going to end up here.” Jason’s expression was grim. “I can’t go back and do a better job of keeping the peace. I can’t fix what’s happened, Nadine. Or make Sonny wake up. I can’t stop you from going on the docks or Johnny from taking Lulu to the church. None of that can be changed. All we can do is think about tomorrow. What happens next.”

Jason waited a moment. “I want it to stop,” he continued, his voice low, and she thought it sounded a little strained. “I want the violence to stop. I want my family to be safe. I understand what happened and why Sonny is in that hospital bed. If making sure Johnny gets away with it is the price I have to pay to keep the people that matter out of danger, then it’s worth it.”

Nadine’s smile was wobbly as she nodded. “Yeah, okay. I can understand that. If I, um, if I changed my mind, if I let the PCPD know what happened, Scott would drag Johnny into a trial. And maybe he wouldn’t get lucky this time. And judging from the way Anthony and Claudia Zacchara acted yesterday, I don’t think it’ll take much to push them. It’s just…” She swiped at her eyes. “I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault. And I’m making it your problem when I should just take care of myself. It’s just—everyone’s looking at me like I did this horrible thing because Lulu isn’t well, and I just don’t know what to do.”

She cleared her throat, looked away from Jason, pushed herself to her feet. “And it’s still not your problem to solve. I’m sorry.”

Nadine was halfway to the door before she heard Jason call her name. She turned back to find him with a phone at his ear, gesturing for her to come back. “What’s wrong?”

Jason ended the call, put the phone in his pocket. “A friend at the PCPD. Baldwin just dragged Johnny in for questioning.”

Nadine exhaled slowly. “Oh.”

“His lawyer’s on his way, but there’s a chance that Baldwin will hold him for as long as he can. That’s seventy-two hours—”

“But that’s not fair. He—” Nadine shook her head. “Thank you. Thank you for telling me.”

She left then, shoving the door to the street open. The brisk October wind hit her cheeks, chilling the streaks left by the tears she’d shed inside.

She had a choice to make, and there was nothing else Jason Morgan could do to help her.

PCPD: Squad Room

When the double doors to the squad room sprang open and Johnny Zacchara was led in, his hands cuffed behind his back and Scott Baldwin following with a satisfied, smug expression on his face, Mac thought about going out the window in his office and submitting his resignation on his way to Bali.

Because he did not get paid nearly enough to put up with Scott, his vendettas, and refusal to listen to basic common sense.

But instead, Mac remained standing in the center of the room, and just tipped his head towards the interrogation room. “Put him in there,” he told the uniform whose hand was wrapped around Johnny’s bicep. “I’m sure his lawyer is already on his way.”

“He will be when I get my phone call,” Johnny said.

“I know Ric’s number, I’ll take care of it,” Mac said.

“Appreciate it.”

With that, the uniformed cop tugged the younger man towards the room, and Mac turned his attention on Scott. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? You had my uniforms arrest him without a warrant?”

“I had probable cause,” Scott said, folding his arms, a bullish light in his eyes. “You weren’t bothering to do anything—”

Mac shook his head. “I’m not doing with this you. I’m not. Ric is going to come down here, he’ll get Johnny released in twelve seconds, and then we’re going to be even less than nowhere—”

Scott rolled his eyes. “Please. We’ll hold him for at least seventy-two hours, which will give that new wife of his the time and space to think about her actions. Why don’t you call her? Let her know the hubby has been dragged in?”

“Nadine Crowell flew across the country to marry him, Scott. She had hours to change her mind—”

“With Zacchara breathing down her neck? Playing the sympathy card? The brooding, misunderstood victim?” Scott snorted. “We give her a few days, maybe she changes her mind.”

“And then Ric files a harassment charge—”

“I got probable cause to bring him in. Maybe we don’t get to charge him today,” Scott shot back, “but we’re going to do this, Mac. I’m not letting Johnny put another body in the morgue—”

“He didn’t put the first one in there,” Mac said quietly. “And you know it. You don’t like Lulu’s story. Or that Maxie’s statement backs it up. Don’t forget, Lulu stopped your son from going after my daughter.”

Scott flinched, and Mac felt a small spiral of shame. “That’s the story they all came up with, but I don’t believe it. And Logan? He’s not here to defend himself. So I’ll wait right here until that lawyer shows up, and then we’re going to do this whether you like it or not.”

“Fine, but we’ll do it my way. You can’t question him, Scott,” Mac cut in. “Unless you want to be a witness in your own case. So shut up and let me do my job.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

“This was the worst time to get into a car accident,” Elizabeth muttered, leaning back against the sofa, pressing a hand to her abdomen where her long-sleeved shirt covered the bandage from her surgery.

“Did you say something, darling?” Audrey asked, leading Cameron in from the kitchen, his little hand tucked in hers.

“No. No. Are you leaving for school, baby?” Elizabeth asked, forcing herself to sit up, wincing when Cameron came forward to hug her. “You’re sure you’re okay to take him, Gram?”

“Well, if it were just me, likely not. But Jason has offered me a driver.” Audrey looked through her purse, then put the strap over her shoulder. “He’s a nice young man. Milo something or other.”

“Giambetti. He’s one of…I know his brother.” And Elizabeth wondered, sadly, if Max and his brother had returned to Jason’s employ with Sonny in the hospital. There was so much going on, so many changes, and she couldn’t do anything to help. She was useless—

But what if she hadn’t had the accident? Where would they be then?

That thought had been lurking for a while now, and with nothing to distract her as Audrey left for the school with Cameron in tow, and Jake taking his morning nap, Elizabeth didn’t have anything else to think about.

If Elizabeth had made it home from the airport — this would all still be a secret, she thought. Because Jason had come forward only because she was injured, because it had made him realize that time was short, and they’d wasted too much of it. And maybe he’d been a little worried that her accident was connected to Kate’s shooting. He’d acted impulsively that first night, and every action since then had stemmed from that choice.

But if there hadn’t been the accident, then Jason would have been free to focus on Kate’s shooting. Maybe Sonny wouldn’t have felt the need to do it on his own or confront Johnny Zacchara.

Maybe Sonny wouldn’t be lying unresponsive in a hospital room.

Elizabeth pressed her hands to her face, took a deep breath, and shoved all of that out of her head. Whatever the reasons were, she and Jason were now together in the eyes of the world, and the people who mattered knew about Jake. Jason was dealing with whatever was wrong at the hospital, Kate’s shooting, Johnny Zacchara, and Sonny’s situation. She could sit here wallowing in all of that and creating more doubts in her own mind, or she could just suck it up and focus on getting better. Getting stronger.

The sooner she was up and moving around, the sooner Jason could cross her off the list of problems to worry about. And maybe then he’d stop tiptoeing around her and he’d let her help him. He’d talk to her, and she wouldn’t feel like she was a guest. Even her own grandmother seemed more at home in Jason’s penthouse than Elizabeth did, and that couldn’t continue.

She’d dreamed about Jason fighting for their life together, and he’d done it. She’d been unconscious for a lot of it but Elizabeth wasn’t going to let that bother her. He’d made an impulsive choice that night, but he’d still made it. So she’d make sure he didn’t regret it.

Elizabeth found the cell phone Audrey had left next to her, and called the one person who might understand.

“Hello?”

“Robin. Hey. How are you feeling? Is this a good time?”

“Well,” Robin said, with a sigh, “it’s as good a time as any. I’ve docked myself on the sofa, and Patrick’s at work. I thought about getting up, but I don’t think it’s worth it.”

“I remember that stage of pregnancy,” Elizabeth replied with a smile. “Five weeks until the date, right?”

“It can’t be fast enough. I need this baby out.” Robin waited for a beat. “But how are you? Patrick told me what happened at the hospital. Please tell me Jason’s filled you in by now.”

“He did. He waited until yesterday, but I know. It’s…a lot. Jason said this morning that they think they know how it was done, so it’s probably over at least as far as GH is concerned.” Elizabeth bit her lip. “Gram seemed relieved, but I don’t know if it’s enough to know how.”

“Patrick tried to convince me he’s going to put this away, but I don’t believe him. Or Jason, if he’s saying the same. You almost died, Elizabeth. I don’t think any of us are going to forget that.”

“No.” Elizabeth shifted, wincing as pain slid sharply through her. She’d declined the pain meds her grandmother had given her, opting for simple over the counter Tylenol, but that meant she was feeling a lot right now. “I’m…I’m sorry about Sonny.”

Robin was quiet for a long moment. “I’ve been avoiding it. Not thinking about it. It still doesn’t feel real,” she finally said. “I can’t imagine what Jason is going through. How he’s handling it. If he’s handling it at all, which I doubt.”

“He’s doing what he always does,” Elizabeth murmured, looking around the penthouse, at all the pieces of evidence that four new people were staying here, including two small children. “He spends all his time taking care of everyone else and puts himself at the bottom of the list.”

“Are you going to let him get away with that? Because I can’t chase him, and you know Carly isn’t going to try very hard.”

“It’s hard to push Jason into taking care of himself,” Elizabeth admitted. “Because he spends all his time taking care of you, and you end up feeling selfish for demanding more from him.”

Robin sighed. “Some things never change.”

Metro Court Hotel: Lobby

Carly sighed when she saw her mother pass through the hotel’s entrance and turned to the receptionist behind the desk. “Jenny, can you call my office? Tell Ang to hold that next meeting.”

“Sure thing, Mrs. Jacks.”

Carly winced at the use of her married name. She was never changing her name again, she thought. Not that she’d ever be stupid enough to get married again. Three husbands were more than enough for a lifetime. “Mama,” she said, meeting her mother halfway, kissing her cheek. “What brings you by? You want a late breakfast?”

“No. No. I’m running a few errands for Audrey, and then heading downtown to volunteer at the clinic.” Bobbie squeezed her hand. “I wanted to see how it went when you told Morgan yesterday.”

Carly winced, and her mother sighed. “I meant to, but I got caught up at the hospital, and then I ran into Scott and Jax. We had a fight—by the time I got home, I just—”

“Carly—”

“I’m really not trying to avoid this, I promise,” Carly said. She pressed her clipboard to her chest, wrapping her arms around her torso. “I know I have to tell him. It’s just—it’s hard.”

“I know, honey. But if you keep avoiding it, you’re going to lose the chance to do it yourself. You should know better than anyone. Tell the truth, or someone else will tell it for you.”

PCPD: Interrogation Room

Johnny twisted his hand so that he could rub his other wrist, sore from the cuffs that Scott had refused to have removed, even though Johnny was locked up in the interrogation room.

He skulked around the room, stopping in front of the window that usually had a view into the squad room, but the shade had been drawn from the other side, so there was nothing to indicate who was out there or if Ric had made his way up from Crimson Pointe yet.

He knew Scott didn’t have anything on him. If there was evidence to be found, Mac would have already brought him in — and the police commissioner had looked pissed to see Johnny at all. The arrest was bullshit — but Johnny wasn’t ready to trust that Baldwin didn’t have an ace up his sleeve.

And there was always the chance Nadine would change her mind. All she’d have to do is go to Scott, admit they’d gotten married to keep her from testifying against him, and the spousal privilege would be invalidated. Johnny didn’t think she’d do that, but he didn’t know her that well, not really.

She had a sense of right or wrong that was almost admirable, except he knew it got her into trouble all the time. And she was impulsive — which was mostly how they’d gotten everything all twisted up. He knew she was having second thoughts — she’d woken this morning and everything had seemed so much more real—he’d seen it in her eyes when she’d all but run from the bedroom earlier.

And now he’d have to call her because he’d be in lockup for however long Scott could hold him. Unless Ric worked some sort of special magic—

“He’s right in here.” Johnny turned at the sound of Mac’s voice and saw the door open. Nadine came around the corner, and Johnny stared at her, confused. She still wore the leggings and hooded jacket she’d left the apartment in several hours ago, her blonde hair pulled back from her face, but there were tear stains on her cheeks and her eyes looked a little red.

“What are you doing here?” Johnny demanded. “Did they arrest you, too?” He turned furious eyes to Mac. “You don’t have a damn right—”

“She showed up on her own,” Mac interrupted, sounding almost bored, “and said she wanted to talk to you. Since I don’t want you here at all, I figured what the hell, right?” He pulled the door shut.

“How?” Johnny cleared his throat, stopped. “Why are you here?”

“Um, I don’t know—are they recording us?” Nadine’s eyes flicked up to the camera in the corner. “Because we don’t have an expectation of privacy, right? That’s what they told me the first time I got arrested.”

Johnny opened his mouth. “The first time?”

“Back in Ohio. I was arrested at a protest. I punched a cop,” Nadine folded her arms. “Anyway. Um, I heard they brought you in. I figured you used your call for your lawyer, so I just…” She bit her lip, came closer to him, her blue eyes avoiding looking at him directly. “I showed up here.”

“You don’t have to—” Johnny started. “This is…” He wanted to tell her it wasn’t what she’d signed on for, but it’d be a lie. Of course she’d signed up for this. It had literally been the basis for their mad dash for Las Vegas.

But the conversation at the penthouse that day felt like a fever dream now, like so much of the last two days did. Nadine hadn’t signed up for any of this when he’d caught her at the hospital that morning and talked her into helping him build a case with Nikolas to see Lulu.

How could so much have happened since then?

Nadine bit her lip, flicked her eyes past him to the camera again, then fisted her hands in his shirt and leaned in, brushing her mouth against his lightly, not pulling all the way back so that their breath mingled. “It’s where your wife would be, isn’t it?” she asked softly, her hand sliding up to his neck, framing the line of his jaw with her fingers. “That’s what I promised to do. I made a promise,” she repeated and now she did pull back just enough so that their eyes met. “I keep my promises.”

Drake Condo: Living Room

Patrick closed the door behind him, dropped his keys on the desk. “Hey, you almost ready—” He paused when saw Robin in the dining area, a photo album on the table, and a box of photos next to her. “What’s that?”

She sighed, then held out a photo. Patrick studied it — a much younger Robin, Sonny, and Brenda with a man he didn’t know — but recognized from pictures. “Stone?”

“Sonny was like his brother,” Robin murmured. “Stone had an actual older brother, Jagger, but they never got along that well.” She held out another photo of Robin and Sonny in front of the Christmas tree. “I talked to Elizabeth a little while ago, and I just…I can’t believe I’ll never talk to Sonny again.”

“I’m sorry. I know how close you were once.” He sat next to her, stroked her shoulder.

“It was another lifetime ago,” Robin said with a shake of her head. “Sonny took Jason when we broke up, though I know he wouldn’t have seen it that way. We just…we grew apart, and by the time I came home three years ago, all we really shared anymore was Stone.”

Patrick sorted through the photos, found another of Robin with a different woman. “I don’t know her.”

“Sonny’s first wife, Lily.” Robin took the photo from him. “She was really kind to Stone, too. He died in Sonny’s penthouse, did you know that? He was still married to Lily then. Then she died in an explosion about—” She squinted. “Six months later, I think. Car bomb at Luke’s.” She set the photo down. “It was meant for Sonny. But he cheated death. He dodged it so many times, you know. I got to think of him as invincible.”

Patrick reached for her hand, squeezed it. “The procedure went well yesterday,” he told her, and she flashed him a smile. “We eased the swelling. You know—”

“The chance is small that it will make a difference. I know. It’s not so different from Michael. Not enough to call brain death, but not quite enough to eliminate all hope.” She rested her chin on her first. “It might have been better for everyone if it was a clean break instead of this ambiguity. Do you mourn the man who still breathes even though he’ll never wake? Or do you wait for a miracle?”

All day starin’ at the ceilin’ makin’
Friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices tellin’ me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for somethin’
Hold on, feelin’ like I’m headed for a breakdown
And I don’t know why
– Unwell, Matchbox Twenty

---

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Zacchara Estate: Study

“So you agree that you don’t get any percentage of the trust fund once you divorce,” Trevor said, scrawling some notes on a legal pad.

Nadine glanced at the doorway where Claudia was lurking, her glass of wine in her hand refilled. The other woman toasted her, and Nadine focused her attention back on the lawyer.

“No. No, I don’t want any of it.”

“And it won’t count as income earned during the marriage—”

“Dad, you can’t just make her sign away everything,” Ric admonished, taking a seat across from his father, next to Nadine. “It’s unfair—”

“Why? She said it’s not about the money—”

“They should split everything earned during the marriage down the middle. That’s just fair.” Ric looked at her. “Including his trust fund which he receives monthly.”

“He does?” Nadine said blankly. That explained a few things.

Ric nodded, but his attention was focused on his father, and the two continued to bicker with Ric almost sounding like Nadine’s attorney.

Exhausted by it, Nadine pushed away from the table. “Listen, I told you I’d sign whatever you want that says I keep what’s mine and Johnny keeps what’s his. You two can argue about it and put whatever you decide into a document. I’ll sign it. Other than that, I really don’t know what else we have to talk about.”

She slid past Claudia in the entry way and tried to remember which way the living room was because it led to the stairs in the foyer.

Instead, Claudia gripped her arm and spun her back. “All John told me on the phone was that he’d taken you to Vegas and married you.” Claudia released it and Nadine stumbled. “You tell me right now what you’re up to with my brother.”

“Exactly what he told you. And you don’t scare me. Not—” Nadine swallowed when Claudia lifted one slim dark brow. “Not even a little.”

“I scare everyone, Little Miss Sunshine. You’re a witness, aren’t you? John shot Sonny, and he married you to keep your mouth shut. That’s what I thought until you went in that room and turned down all the money. So how exactly is he keeping you from going to the PCPD? Because I remember how self-righteous and justice-minded you really are. You think I’m going to trust you with my brother’s freedom?”

“Johnny and I have an understanding that works for us.” Nadine lifted her chin, even though her heart was pounding. Johnny hadn’t been kidding about his family. “If you have questions about our relationship, then you take it up with him.”

“Oh, don’t worry, honey, I will. But if I’m not satisfied, maybe I’ll drop some hints in my father’s ears. You see…Anthony Zacchara doesn’t wait for evidence before he takes action. You remember how ruthless he can be, don’t you? Do you want to know what he was planning if John didn’t call in by noon today?”

Nadine swallowed hard. “What?”

“Oh, yeah, Daddy had a deadline.” Claudia smirked. “And if John had missed it, well, let’s just say there are a few people in Port Charles who would have had a very bad day.”

Nadine stepped back. “If you expect me to be scared and tell Johnny you threatened me, you’re going to be disappointed.” She wished her voice was steadier, but she forged on anyway. “Whatever you or your lawyers or your father think of me, I don’t care. I only care what Johnny thinks.”

“Uh, huh. Sure. You tell yourself that.” Claudia scrutinized her for another moment, then tipped her head towards the door. “The stairwell is that way. John’s room is on the second floor, third room on the left.”

General Hospital: ICU

Carly scribbled a signature across another form, then slid the clipboard across the desk to Epiphany. “Is there anything else?”

“Not for the moment.” Epiphany hesitated. “Did you have any more questions for Dr. Drake? He was looking for you after the surgery earlier.”

“I went to the hotel for a meeting.” Carly picked through her purse, trying to find her phone. “And I assumed if there was a change, he’d call.” She flicked her gaze to Epiphany briefly. “And he didn’t.”

“No. No, no change. All the same—”

“I appreciate it, Epiphany, but this isn’t—it’s not going to be April.” She finally located her phone, saw the missed call from her mother. She looped the strap over her shoulder. “I’m not calling in doctors from around the world hoping for a miracle. Patrick was right about…about that. He’s right about this.”

She turned around, intending to head for the elevators, but ran directly into Scott. “Oh, hell. What do you want? I thought you were out of town.”

The special prosecutor lifted his hands in mock surrender. “I come in peace, Carly. I came home earlier, and I wanted to get caught up on where the investigation was at. Mac doesn’t seem to have much in the way of suspects.”

Carly pressed her lips together. “Not that he’s told me, no.”

Scott glanced around. “Where’s Morgan? Visiting the patient?”

“At home with his family, I hope. Other than that, I don’t know. There’s nothing to tell you, Scott. Nothing that you don’t already know. Someone shot Sonny on the pier, and he’s laying unresponsive in a coma, with no signs of waking up.” She walked towards the bank of elevators, and Scott hurried after her.

“Life support, I saw. You’re leaving the machines on?” Scott asked.

“It’s not that kind of—don’t play stupid, Scott. You read the file. Mac had to have read Patrick’s report.” Carly tightened her hand around the strap of her purse. “He can breathe, and his heart is beating. But he might never wake up. We really won’t know for a few more weeks. I don’t know what he was doing on the pier. I don’t know anything, and I really just want to go home.”

“I get that, but I’d think after everything you’ve gone through, you’d be a little more interested in answers—did you know Johnny Zacchara hopped a flight to Vegas just a few hours after the shooting?” Scott demanded. “You’re okay with letting him get away with another murder—”

“Sonny isn’t dead!” Carly snapped. “And Johnny didn’t kill Logan, Scott! You damn well know it since you browbeat my little cousin into a mental breakdown! Do you have any shame for what you’ve done? Sonny did something awful to your daughter a lifetime ago, and I am sorry for that, but it doesn’t give you the right—”

“Sonny’s a criminal, I have every right to go after him, and after what happened to Michael, to your own son, I don’t know why you can’t see that whole way of life is nothing but death waiting to happen, but maybe you don’t care about any of that as long as you have that fat bank account and big house—”

Carly inhaled sharply, took a step forward, and might have actually slapped the special prosecutor, but a hand snagged her wrist as it rose in the air.

“That won’t solve anything,” Jax said, stepping between them. “As much as he might deserve it.” He flicked his eyes back to the scowling attorney. “Scott, haven’t you browbeaten enough women this year? Are you trying for a record?”

“One day, Carly, one day, you’ll see what I do! I just hope it’s not before you lose someone else,” Scott threatened. He stalked in the opposite direction, but Carly didn’t exhale an easy breath until he’d turned a corner and had disappeared from sight.

“Are you all right?” Jax asked, and she looked at him, then down at the hand he still held.

“People keep asking that question,” Carly said. “But no one ever really wants the answer, do they?” She lifted her eyes to his, tears blurring her view. “It’s like how are you? No one wants to know that. They just want confirmation that they don’t need to worry about you. That you’re not going to do something stupid. So, yeah, Jax, I’m just fine. You can go—”

“Carly—”

“No. No,” she insisted, tugging her hand from his. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to step in like a savior and ask me some bullshit question because you don’t care about the answer. You don’t. Where have you been for the last few days? With Kate, making sure that Sonny couldn’t see her.”

Jax looked away, his hands in his pockets. “I thought—”

“You tell yourself it was to protect her, and sure, maybe part of you means that. But you did it because you could. Because you wanted to stick it to Sonny. Well, congratulations, Jax. It worked. Sonny couldn’t see Kate, couldn’t get an update on her condition, and he spiraled out of control—”

“You’re blaming me—”

“Why not?” Carly demanded. “You blame me for what happened in the church, what happened in that warehouse—” Her voice faltered, and she had to take a deep breath. “And you’re right. All of that is my fault. Losing Michael that way—”

“No—”

“It is. Don’t you think I know it? Don’t you think I know I could have left Michael with AJ as his father, and he’d be with me right now? Alive and perfect and amazing—but I had to have complete control, I couldn’t give an inch and now I’ve lost everything!” She jabbed the button for the elevator. “So, yes, my choices put Michael in that warehouse. And yours put Sonny on that pier.”

The doors opened and she stepped inside the car, pressed the button for the lobby. “I hope you’re happy. You finally won. You’re the last man standing.”

Zacchara Estate: Johnny’s Bedroom

“I am so glad we’re not going to live here.”

Johnny glanced up from his suitcase, an unfolded shirt in his hand. Nadine had closed the door behind her, leaning up against it like she’d run a marathon. It had been a calculated risk leaving her to deal with his family and the lawyers alone, but he’d wanted to see what they’d do if he wasn’t in the room.

It looked like he had his answer. “What did they do?”

“Nothing. Nothing.” She forced a smile. “Can I help you pack? It’s a long drive back to Port Charles.”

“Nadine.”

She folded her arms, looked away. “Did you know about the deadline?”

“What?” Johnny squinted. “What deadline?”

“Your sister is making it sound like your father was going to burn down the city if you didn’t check in. She sounded very sure of it. I just wanted to know—”

“I didn’t check my messages until this morning,” Johnny interrupted. “So, yeah, by that point, I knew I had a deadline. I called her right after. Do you think I would have waited that long if I’d known?”

Nadine hesitated. “No, but—”

“And that deadline it wasn’t for me.” Johnny pressed his lips together. “It was for Jason to produce proof of life. Because if my father had been in Jason’s position yesterday, neither of us would have made it out of the penthouse alive.”

“Oh.” She sat on the bed. “What would he have done?”

“You spent a night running from him last year,” Johnny said, turning back to his dresser. “I think you have a pretty good idea. Why do you think I pushed you to do this?”

“I don’t—I don’t know.”

He closed the drawer, sat next to her. “My dad needs to see you as on my team. If he thinks you won’t say anything, that you can’t hurt me or put me in jail, he’ll leave you alone. That’s all I need him to do. And once all of this settles down, once the PCPD moves on from this, we can figure out what to do with the rest of it.” He hesitated. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone to deal with any of them. I should have known they’d make everything worse.”

But maybe he’d had a sliver of hope that this time would be different. He didn’t know where that optimism had come from, but it was dead now.

Johnny returned back to his dresser, grabbed a few more articles of clothing, then dumped them into the suitcase. Trust Claudia to make everything worse somehow. He’d thought she’d at least give Nadine a chance—but not even his sister wasn’t on his side.

“I shouldn’t have said anything. You’re upset with them now, and I didn’t want that.” Nadine stood. “It really wasn’t that bad. I think I just confused them, you know? They don’t know how to react to me. Like your sister. I guess she figured I wanted money to keep my mouth shut, so you promised me your trust fund or whatever, so now when I don’t want it, she doesn’t know what to think.”

“Well, that’s a common theme,” he said with a grunt. He zipped the suitcase and set it on the floor before going to Nadine. “You’ll barely have to deal with them, okay? And as long as I don’t end up in lockup, they can’t complain.” He rested his hands on her upper arms. “But I’m sorry.”

“They’re just worried about you. Even your father. I think money, violence, and threats are the only way they know how to show it. It’s their love language.” Nadine smiled weakly. “It’s weird and strange, and not what I’d want from my family, but then again mine is mostly deadbeats, actually dead, or in comas after murdering innocent patients. So there’s that. I think we’re actually even when you look at it that way.”

Johnny opened his mouth but closed it. “I never know where conversations with you are going to end up.” He leaned his forehead against hers, stroked her arms lightly. “Let’s get out of here.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to do since we got here.”

Johnny only gave the piano in the conservatory a passing glance, carrying his suitcase in one hand, and keeping Nadine’s hand in the other. Anthony and Trevor were waiting in the foyer like a pair of vultures looking for one last scrap of meat to pick from their bones.

“I’ll call you when the papers are ready to be signed,” Trevor said, resting one hand on the handle to Anthony’s wheelchair.

“Yeah, whatever. You have my number.” Johnny shoved open the door, scowled one last time at his father. “Anything you want to add?”

“I wish you all the joy in the world,” Anthony drawled, and Johnny just rolled his eyes. He ushered Nadine out the door and closed it behind them.

“What do you want to do about this?” Trevor wanted to know.

“I want separate tails on both of them,” Anthony said, gripping the top of the wheels. “I want to know everything about her.”

General Hospital: Conference Room

Patrick sorted through the notes Spinelli had made, squinting at the scribbled handwriting. “How much further do you want to go back?”

The tech cracked the cap on another plastic bottle of orange soda, then twisted it off. “I’ve confirmed the glitches going back to at least July, which coincides with that software patch I told you about earlier.” Spinelli took a long gulp of the soda, then wiped his mouth. “And then, I, uh, located a list of clients that still use that machine and checked their coding. That took most of the afternoon.”

“Located and checked their coding?” Patrick grimaced. “I don’t imagine you told them what you needed it for—”

“They don’t even know anyone was in their system, I give you my word. But the Jackal knows that discretion was most important, and, well, it matters if this glitch is system wide or just confined to General Hospital, doesn’t it?”

Patrick sat down, rubbed his cheek. “It’s just us, isn’t it?”

“I regret to deliver that unwelcome news. Yes, the glitch so far appears to be unique to GH servers. I thought if I could go back in the machine’s records another six months to determine precisely when it arrived, you would have a better sense of how widespread the problems were, and we could determine how many patients might have been affected. The Jackal could begin a database of the affected medications so that you can research the patient files.”

“Yeah. Yeah, go back as far as you need to. That’s fine. How—how did this glitch work? We could never find the patterns—”

“Every seventy-fifth request for certain medications triggered the misfire. The machine would encode a different medication instead. But because the inventory was hospital wide, the requests came from all over the building,” Spinelli told him. “You were looking at patterns linked to the machines that were simply not there to see.”

“Christ. This makes my head hurt.” Patrick scrubbed his hands through his hair. “Okay. Okay. Thank you. It’s good to have some answers. Are you—look, I want to know how bad this is, but I also want to know who went after Elizabeth. Are you working on that?”

“The more I know about the code and how it operated, the easier it will be to locate the hacker’s signature,” Spinelli said. “I wish I could assure you—and Stone Cold—that the answer is as simple as finding the correct file, but alas, the Jackal can offer no such guarantee. What I can do—what I’ve already begun—is a patch to correct the glitch and build a firewall to protect the hospital from further mischief.”

“All right. Whatever else you need, let me know.” Patrick got to his feet. “Thank you for this, Spinelli. I mean that.”

“A hospital is supposed to save lives, not take them,” Spinelli said. “And well, this is personal.” He lifted his eyes to the other man. “Someone tried to take another loved one from Stone Cold. That cannot stand.”

Nadine’s Apartment: Living Room

“Um, there’s not much.” Nadine shoved the door open, and flicked on the lamp near her door, illuminating the small living space of her apartment. The living room was a rectangular space that opened in the kitchen with its meager row of cabinets and a counter that curved out to provide a border between the living and kitchen area. There were two doors on the far side of the apartment.

Nadine wasn’t ashamed of where she lived — it was clean and in a good neighborhood, but the furniture had been sourced from a flea market and most of the decor was from a thrift shop. Hardly the Zacchara Estate with its large, sweeping rooms.

Johnny set his suitcase down. “Anywhere that’s not Crimson Pointe is fine by me.”

“Yeah, I get that. Um—” Nadine went towards one of the doors, pushed it open. “Bathroom. And—” Pushing open the other. “Bedroom.” Her cheeks flushed as Johnny came to look inside — the double bed took up most of the room, with a nightstand on one side, and her dresser crammed into a corner. “I could figure out a drawer or something. There’s a closet…”

She went into the room and jerked open the closet. “I only put a few things in here, so you can have this—” She glanced at him, standing in the doorway to her bedroom. “Or maybe we could get you another dresser or something. I could figure out where to put it—”

Nadine glanced at the room again, squinting. If it wasn’t a big one, maybe—

“We’ll figure all that out later.” Johnny came in, stroked her arms, which she realized he’d started a habit of doing maybe because he knew it distracted her. “Honestly? I’m starving. You want to order a pizza?”

A pizza did not require a conversation about the bedroom or where his things would go, so absolutely, Nadine wanted to order a pizza and move far away from the bed.

“Yes. Yes. I have takeout menus in the kitchen.” She shoved past him, went into the kitchen to jerk open the drawer. Her hands were shaking slightly as she sorted through the collection, and she felt like an idiot when his larger hand closed over hers, trapping the menus on the counter. “Johnny—”

“Just because you and I slept together this morning two thousand miles away in Las Vegas does not mean I expect you to sleep with me every night,” he told her, and her chest eased slightly even as the heat in her cheeks doubled. “I can take the couch, it’s no big deal—”

“Well, it’s—” Nadine looked at her small sofa, bit her lip. “I should take it. I’m shorter than you—”

“Not by much, and it’s your apartment—”

“But you’re—” She gestured with another hand. “Um, there’s more of you, I mean. Like—in the muscular sense, oh stop looking at me like that like you’re laughing at me, but you’re turned on by it—it messes me up and now—” Nadine hissed, curled her hand in his shirt and dragged him against her. He was still laughing when she kissed him.

They did eventually order pizza, but it wasn’t until much later.

Pier 51: Warehouse

Jason stepped out onto the cargo dock, Francis and Cody flanking just behind him. On the other side of the dock stood Andrei Karpov with two of his men.

“Ah, Mister Morgan, it’s so nice of you to join us.” Andrei smiled, the curve of lips reminding Jason of a shark. “You are ready to do business. This is good.”

“No.”

Karpov closed his mouth, stared at him. “I don’t understand. You call this meeting to begin negotiations—”

“I called this meeting because you seem to have trouble with the word no,” Jason interrupted, his tone flat. Emotionless. “I’ve said it over and over again for months. You want to use my shipping lanes, my resources to move your product between Canada and New York, and the answer is no. It will never change.”

“You make a mistake in turning me away—”

“And you make one in continuing the conversation when the answer has already been given. Tell me, Karpov, what did you think would happen when you delivered Kate Howard’s shooter to Sonny?” Jason lifted his brow. “Did you think Sonny would agree to join you?”

“I merely wanted to do a favor for a man who had suffered a grievous wrong—”

“If you thought Sonny would do anything other than confront Johnny Zacchara with your information, then you’re either not that bright or it’s exactly what you wanted.” Jason smirked as Karpov scowled. “I think you’re not that bright. You thought it would force Sonny into your camp and he’d tell you everything you need to know about my organization. Well, good luck with that. And with the DEA.”

“The DE—what you talk about? What does he say?” Karpov turned to one of his men. “What DEA?”

“Oh, give it—” Jason glanced at the phone one of his men held up for him, noted the time. “Maybe ten minutes before your lawyer—Sasha, wasn’t it? Before she calls to tell you your freighter in the harbor has been raided. You’re not the only one who can call in some favors. Come to Port Charles again, Karpov, and you’ll know what it means to really make a mistake.”

This love is good
This love is bad
This love is alive back from the dead
These hands had to let it go free, and
This love came back to me
This love left a permanent mark
This love is glowing in the dark
These hands had to let it go free, and
This love came back to me
– This Love, Taylor Swift

---

Friday, October 3, 2008

Nadine’s Apartment: Living Room

Nadine dropped her keys on the counter as Johnny followed her in, closed the door behind her. “Well, that was, uh, an eventful day.” She stripped off her jacket and tossed it aside, finally turning to face him.

“Yeah. Never a dull moment.” Johnny cleared his throat. “I’m sorry—that you got dragged into this.”

“I dragged myself into it.” Nadine perched on the arm of her sofa. “At least that part is over. They don’t have any real evidence against you.”

“Not yet.” Johnny rested his hands on the back of the sofa, leaned forward. “But they didn’t have anything against me with Logan, and that didn’t seem to stop them—”

“That’s true.” She examined her thumb nail. “Um, so, maybe we need to talk about things. Now that you’re, uh, here in Port Charles. That we’re both here. And that people know.”

“Yeah, good news travels fast.” Johnny made a face. “You have some run-ins with well-wishers, too?”

“Just Leyla, a friend from work. Well, not much of a friend now, I guess. I guess—I mean, I knew people would look at me like this, I guess I just didn’t really understand how it would feel. People who know Lulu looking at me like I’m this terrible person,” Nadine said, shaking her head, looking towards the window. “And I can’t even pretend that I’ve got some moral high ground, that I married you because of that day on the pier. I mean, I did, but—”

“But it didn’t stop there.”

“No. It didn’t.” Nadine sighed. “From your question, I guess you didn’t get anyone congratulating you either, huh?”

“Maxie was angry.” Johnny paused. “Lu, you know, she’d understand the wedding part. She’d be irritated by it,” he added, “but her old man was in the business, and she grew up around Sonny. She’d deal with it. It’s just…”

“What came after is harder, I guess. How else do you explain jumping into bed less than a week after her breakdown?” Nadine bit at her thumb.

“If it weren’t for the whole marriage part of it,” Johnny said slowly, “I bet I could spin that, too. Lonely. Tired. Wanting to feel something.” He met her eyes, straightened. “She’d understand, too.”

“Very understanding girlfriend—” Nadine stopped. “I don’t want to be like this. To feel jealous about what Lulu might or might not understand. Especially when all of this is happening because she’s not here. Because she’s not well. And I hate myself for not thinking that part of it through. For just leaning into impulse. I should know better by now.”

“Yeah, acting on impulse hasn’t gotten me much success, either,” he admitted. “I’m sorry. You were right in Vegas. It was a mistake. We should have stopped it then.”

“Definitely.” Nadine stood up. “But look, it was just a few times, right? We’ll stop now. It was a crazy few days, but it’s over now. Things are settled down. The PCPD took their swing, and they struck out. Ric will tell your family that I took your side, and that you’re in the clear, so you’re okay there.”

“Guess it’s a good thing Scott saw me and got annoyed. You’re right. Things will go back to normal—I’ll, uh, move out here—” He gestured at the sofa. “And we’ll just be roommates.”

“Right.” Nadine smiled. “I’m glad we got that sorted out. I feel better.”

“Me, too. It’s smarter this way,” he added. “Keeps everything cleaner. It’s all complicated enough, no point in making it worse.”

“Right,” she repeated, wondering why they were going in circles on this. “This is a good idea. I’m glad you said it first, but I was going to.”

“You were?” Johnny looked at her, and she swallowed hard, because he was looking at her.

“You’re doing it again.”

“What?”

She huffed, walked away a few steps, then whirled around, jabbing a finger at him. “You know what you were doing, so don’t do it again—”

“I absolutely don’t know what I was doing except agreeing with you.” He smirked. “You don’t want me to agree with you?”

She narrowed her eyes. “That’s not what I mean, and you know it. So we’re not having this conversation anymore.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Nadine fidgeted, folded her arms. “Okay.”

“You said that already.” Johnny’s mouth twitched. “Do you always repeat yourself?”

“Do you always—” She pressed her lips together. “Never mind. We need to get along for however long this lasts, so let’s just—I’ll go find the takeout menus.”

“Nadine.”

She stopped, her hand on the drawer, turned to find him still standing by the drawer. “What?”

“I don’t know.” He cleared his throat. “I guess I just wanted to say your name. Because when this conversation is over, it’s over. And we’re not going to have it again. So maybe I just want to keep it going.”

Nadine frowned, her hand falling away from the drawer, stepping towards him. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you want the conversation to keep—” She stopped. “Johnny. We’re going to be smart about this, remember?”

“I do. It was my idea.”

“Okay, so it’s…done. Decided.” She licked her lips, and his eyes dropped. “Don’t do that—”

“Don’t do what?”

“You—we’re going in circles again, and you know what—I’m going to stop it. I’m going out.” Nadine snatched up her keys. “Because if we’re in the same apartment, we’re going to be stupid, and we decided we were done with that.”

“Yeah, I know but—” Johnny snagged her arm as she passed. “I’m trying to remember why again.” He drew her against him.

“Johnny—” Nadine bit her lip. “This is a really stupid idea.” She pressed her hands against his shoulders, intending to push him away, but instead her fingers curled into his shirt. “Never mind, we’ll be smart tomorrow.”

“Oh, thank God—” He yanked her against him and took her mouth.

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bedroom

Elizabeth was tired of not being able to move without pain, of being stuck in one place, and having to think before she even took a breath. She wanted to be the one who put her boys to bed, listening to Jake babble through his bedroom routine, or Cameron retell his day at preschool for the fifth time.

But she’d done too much again today, and had been ordered by her grandmother to rest — they’d compromised by letting her sit in an oversized armchair in the bedroom, while Audrey had brought each boy in for a few minutes to cuddle with her, only to be whisked away to their room.

Jason had gone out after dinner for a meeting, but she also wondered if he was avoiding her. Since their brief interaction in the kitchen earlier that afternoon, they hadn’t been alone for more than a few minutes—and she wondered if there was even a point in attempting another discussion tonight —

Jason wasn’t ready to talk about Sonny, or maybe he’d said all there was to say. They’d connected a little the night he’d brought her home from the hospital, but she’d caught him at the end of the day when he was probably exhausted from everything that had happened, from her medical emergency to Sonny’s shooting—

She shouldn’t have to wait until he was at the end of his rope before he talked to her, and it had always been this way.

The penthouse fell silent as one by one, its residents went to their rooms and went to sleep. Elizabeth remained in the chair, determined to wait up for Jason, to try just one more time today—

But even she couldn’t quite manage to keep her eyes open. Her head listed to the side, her eyes growing heavy—she fell into a light doze, jerked awake when she felt hands trying to lift her.

“I’m awake—I’m—” Elizabeth opened her eyes—the lights had been switched off, the lamp on the night table the only source of illumination. She caught Jason’s face in the shadows, and her hands, which had curled into fists, unfurled against his shoulders. “You’re back.”

“Yeah.” Jason knelt by the chair. “You should have gone to bed. It’s late.”

“I—” She stifled a yawn. “I wanted to wait for you.”

Jason sighed, dipped his head. “Why?”

“Why—” Elizabeth stared at him, a bit incredulously. “Why wouldn’t I? We’ve barely had a quiet moment together since all of this happened—oof—” Her words were cut off when Jason lifted her in his arms. “Hey. I was talking—”

“You can talk from the bed,” he said, almost in a grunt. He laid her gently against the pillows, sat at the foot of the bed to tug off her socks. “What do you want to wear to sleep—”

“Stop!” At her abrupt words, Jason let her foot drop, then looked at her. “Stop ignoring me and stop changing the subject and stop making it all about my health! I am fine! Just stop.”

She hadn’t meant to do that, hadn’t meant to blow up, and shame crawled up her spine when she saw Jason just standing there at the end of the bed, his arms at his side, looking at her with bewilderment. “I’m sorry. I just—it’s like you’re not listening to me, and you’re treating me like a child. Like I don’t know how to take care of myself. That I can’t figure out how much sleep or rest I need.”

Jason opened his mouth, then shook his head. “You’re pushing too hard—”

“You mean, I’m pushing you too hard,” Elizabeth bit out and he closed his mouth. “I didn’t even say a word about Sonny—and there you go. You just shut down again.”

“I didn’t do anything—”

“Your entire body just went into that stone routine that I hate and I don’t know how to make it stop.” Her eyes filled and she looked away. “All I did was wait up to see you, and you’re making me feel stupid for even bothering. What am I even doing here? What’s the point?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “If you want to go back to your place—”

Now the tears spilled down her cheeks. “It’s that easy, isn’t it? It’s so easy for you. I don’t understand that. I don’t understand how you’ve always been able to do that, since the day we met. It gets too hard, and you just walk away, and I have to run after you to get anywhere—”

Something close to anger flashed in his eyes, and she saw his hand tighten in a fist at his side. “You think any of this is easy?”

“We’re having a fight, and you’re ready to ship me back to my house instead of just listening—”

“You said you didn’t know why you were here—I thought you wanted to—”

“Well, don’t think, okay? Because if I want to leave, I’ll tell you.” Elizabeth shifted, then winced, biting down on her lip. “I just—I waited to see you. That’s all. And you weren’t even…” She looked away. “It’s like I’m existing here. A piece of furniture you have to move around and deal with. I’m sorry, should I strip naked so you’ll pay attention to me?” she demanded. Jason’s eyes widened, and she pressed a fist against her mouth, wishing she could claw the words back.

But she couldn’t, and they just hung between them for a long terrible beat of silence. She could almost hear the sound of her heart pounding.

“I didn’t mean that the way it came out,” Elizabeth said finally.

“But you said it, so you must think it.” Jason’s tone was almost dull, lifeless, and she knew he’d crawled inside himself again. He’d already started to shut down, and she’d slammed the door.

“I don’t.” Elizabeth grimaced. “Not entirely.”

“Not entirely,” he echoed. Jason nodded, dragged a hand down his face. “Okay. Okay. I’m just—I’m going to go.”

“Wait—” But he was already at the door and in the hallway before the word had formed on her lips, and she was alone.

General Hospital: Kate’s Room

It was nearly midnight, and while the hospital never quite went quiet, there were fewer shoes squeaking along the hallway floors and the lights were dimmed. Kate lay awake, unable to sleep, her mind cluttered with regrets, grief, and bewilderment.

A week ago, she had been fitted for her wedding dress. She’d sent out the invitations. She’d been blissfully planning her future as Sonny’s wife, a dream from her childhood that she’d tucked away in a box. It had gathered dust all these years until they’d met each other again, and she’d thought she’d finally get to live out her girlish fantasy.

And now it was all over.

She heard the scuff of a different set of shoes, and turned her head on the pillow, watching as Jax appeared in the doorway of her hospital room.

“Visiting hours are over,” she said, her voice hoarse, scarcely above a whisper.

“I have some friends in the right places,” he said. He came in, closed the door, and came forward stopping to pick up the water pitcher. He filled the plastic glass on her tray, then held it out.

Kate reluctantly accepted it, sipped. “I don’t want you here.”

“I know. I heard you earlier. And yesterday.” He rocked back on his heels, took a deep breath. “I went home—well, I went to my room at the hotel. I don’t really have a home right now.”

“You don’t expect me to feel sorry for you, do you? Your wife is available. You could go home tonight.”

“She doesn’t want to see me at the moment, either.” Jax took a long, unsteady breath. “I told myself that I was protecting you, that I was keeping you safe. I’d seen Sonny’s life do nothing but hurt people, year after year, and I was finally in a position to stop it.” He looked up, met Kate’s gaze. “But it was vindictive. It was spite. I wanted to see him miserable, and I had the power to see it done. It gave me pleasure, Kate, to keep him from you.”

Her mouth trembled, and she closed her eyes. “You did it to hurt him.”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t care what I’d want.”

“I—” Jax rubbed his chest. “I arrogantly assumed you’d wake up, realize you’d been a victim of Sonny’s life one too many times, and that you’d walk away. That’d you be glad—”

“Well, I’m not. God, you’d love that, wouldn’t you? You just so desperately need to believe that any woman who might love Sonny is just some silly twit who doesn’t know her own mind and can’t make choices. Can’t stand by them. Is that who Carly is?”

“No, no, it’s not.” Jax sighed. “He came here that day, Kate. Just before the shooting. Maybe an hour. He tried to see you.”

Kate’s eyes filled, her lips parted. “W-What?”

“He tried to see you, but you didn’t know yet we’d limited the visitors. So…the desk didn’t let him up. And then…”

“Then he went somewhere and got shot. That wouldn’t—he’d have been here. With me. It wouldn’t have happened.”

“I don’t—Carly told me that my actions—that it put Sonny on that pier—” Jax pressed his lips together, his voice faltered for a moment. “That what I did, what Olivia did—that we put Sonny on that pier, the way Carly’s choices put Michael in the warehouse. And I don’t give a damn about Sonny,” he bit out. “But you—I do care about you. And Morgan—” He looked away, his throat working as he swallowed hard. “I love that little boy, and he’s lost his brother. His father. Carly doesn’t even know that Sonny was here that day. Doesn’t know that we could have—”

“So, what, you’re here to apologize? Beg for forgiveness?”

“No.” His smile was quick, humorless. “For years, I’ve believed myself to be the better man. But when the time came to show it, I failed. As a husband, as a father, and as a friend. I wasn’t thinking of the people who loved Sonny. Who needed him. I knew he was upset, I knew he wasn’t handling any of this well, and I enjoyed telling him no. I learned something about myself with all of this, Kate, something I’m not proud of. I don’t like who I turned out to be.”

“That makes two of us. You can go now.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Jason made it down the stairs and to the front door before he stopped. He flattened both hands against the door, leaned his head against it. He could leave. He could climb on the bike, ignore all the speed limits, and just let it all disappear in the roar of the engine and wind—

But Elizabeth would still be upstairs, still waiting for him to stop running. Waiting for him to look at her, to listen to her.  He’d brought her here, plopped down in the center of his world, and he’d hoped it would be enough, but wasn’t. It would never be enough.

She’d tried over and over again to talk to him, to get him to open up, to look at her, and he’d shut her down at every turn. He wasn’t surprised she’d grown frustrated and lashed out, striking at him with harsh words. She hadn’t meant them, and he knew that—

But maybe there was a piece of her that wondered, that worried, that after this last year when most of their meetings had been at the safe house or a hotel room, and sex was all they’d really had time for—

Maybe she believed that there was nothing else she could give him. The fear that she still didn’t know, after all this time, how much he loved her, how much just looking at her helped to keep him grounded, gave him the strength to keep moving—

It was enough to make him stop running. He didn’t know what to say to her, but it wasn’t fair to keep avoiding it.

Jason stepped back, then went to the stairs. When he opened the door to the bedroom, he found Elizabeth by the dresser, one hand bracing against the wall, the other digging in a drawer. They stared at each other for a long moment, then he came fully into the room, closed the door.

“Can I help you find something?” he asked.

“I have it,” Elizabeth said, retrieving something blue from the drawer. “But, um, I can’t—I can’t get it on by myself. Could…could you help?”

“Yeah.” Jason wound her arm around his neck and helped her to sit on the bed. He helped her change from the T-shirt and leggings into a long, blue nightshirt. “I’m sorry,” he said, still kneeling in front of her, staring at a blue swirl on her shirt. He rested a hand on her bare knee, preparing to stand—

Instead, she stroked the top of his head, combing her fingers lightly through his hair. “I’m sorry, too. You know I didn’t mean what I said. Not—not the way it sounded. I just—I was so upset, and, well, it’s easier, sometimes, to pick a fight than it is to say I’m worried. You don’t like it when I worry about you.”

He liked it too much, he thought, closing his eyes, focusing on her touch. He leaned his cheek against her thigh, wishing he could just stay this way. Stay in this room. That everything outside of it would just…stop.

“I know you want me to tell you what I’m feeling, but I can’t.”

“I know.”

“You don’t.” Jason slowly lifted himself up, sat next to her, stared down at the carpet, at her toes curling into it. “Because I’m not feeling anything.”

“Jason.”

“I got the call that Sonny was shot and that it was bad, and I just—” He shook his head. “There’s nothing. I don’t feel anything.”

Elizabeth sighed. “Help me to sit back?”

“Yeah, okay.” He settled her back against the pillows, and went to change into a pair of sweatpants, thinking maybe he’d said enough for now, and she would let it go. He crawled into bed next to her.

“Come here.” Elizabeth held out her hand, and he frowned at her. “Come here.”

Jason slid towards her, and she put her arm around him, guiding him so that his head lay against her chest—the way he’d seen her hold Jake the other night. She stroked his hair, then his shoulders, her fingers dancing near his spine, and oddly, it felt right. Comforting.

“You’ve lost so many people, Jason.”

He tensed, but she kept stroking him. “I’m fine—” But there was a lick of something in the back of his throat. An itch. He swallowed, trying to get rid of it, but it was still there.

“I know you regret not having more time with Alan. And all the stress with Jake—that’s on me, I know. The trial. All of that couldn’t have helped. Then…Emily.”

He closed his eyes, but the tears were hot against the lids. His sister. His vibrant, precious little sister. “You lost her, too.”

“I know. But I didn’t lose my father, my sister, my son, and my brother in less than two years. You’ve been dealing with so much, and we kept asking for more. Me. Carly. Sonny. The world. It’s no wonder you can’t feel anything.”

“You can ask me for anything—”

“I know that. I’ve always known that. But I wish you knew you could ask me, too.”

Jason sighed, leaned up on one elbow, to find her looking at him somberly. “I—”

“I know that’s not always been true. I know it’s been hard to trust me—”

He wanted to argue with her, to say he’d always understood, but he couldn’t. She was right. He hadn’t always been able to turn to her. Hadn’t always been able to rely on her to stand by him.

“Since I woke up after the accident, and I realized you’d decided to change everything while I was unconscious, I’ve been bracing myself for you to take it back. To change your mind again, like you did in April. I don’t think I realized until tonight you’ve been doing the same. Not until you talked about me going back to the house, and I saw that you’d already accepted it.”

“I—” Jason cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”

“I know.” Elizabeth stroked the side of his face, and he leaned into her touch, kissing her fingers when they brushed his lips. “You’ve been waiting for Lucky to come back from California, change his mind, and me to let him. Because that’s what I always do. But I’m not going to do that this time. The boys, me, we’re yours, and we’re not going anywhere. When you know that I’m here, that I’m not going anywhere, you’ll be able to trust me the way you used to. I love you, and I’ll wait as long as it takes until you believe that.”

He closed his eyes and laid back down because she wasn’t going to push. Wasn’t going to ask questions. She understood, and he let that settle. Let himself settle. He could drift asleep just like this, with her fingertips dancing across his skin.

But then he spoke. He didn’t even know where it came from or that he was going to say the words, until they were already in the world.

“He’s not going to wake up.”

She said nothing, just continued running her fingers along his back. He continued. “The doctors are talking around it, not saying it’s permanent. They can’t say that yet, but they’re thinking it. They did another surgery, but it didn’t change anything. It’s…Michael. All over again. Michael won’t ever wake up. He’ll get older, but he’ll never grow up.” Pressure built behind his eyes.

“I’m so sorry.”

The tears spilling down his cheeks now, but he still had words to say. “The last thing I told him was to handle it himself. I didn’t have time for him. Robin had called me, and you were in trouble, and I stopped thinking about him. He tried to handle it himself, and it didn’t work. Now he won’t wake up.” He closed his eyes, exhaling a shaky breath. “I won’t get that moment back. He’s gone. Just like Michael.”

He said nothing else after that, and they laid there until sleep claimed them.

TO BE CONTINUED

---

Author’s Note

This may seem like an abrupt ending for a book, but, well, I never intended These Small Hours to be split into two, much less three, books. (That should be in my obituary, honestly: She never meant to write a series.) I planned it as a tightly focused story on Jason & Elizabeth with Johnny & Nadine providing a secondary romance.

But then I started to write.

I wrote about Carly’s spiral after Sonny’s loss, I wrote about Patrick’s struggle to live up to his job while preparing for fatherhood, and I found myself writing about Jax finding that victory over Sonny was a bitter one—I love these dumb characters. Even when they make my life difficult. I even love the ones I hate, finding myself expanding on Lucky & Sam in rewrites, and even more Maxie. I just love ensemble stories and the way one event can ripple out and change the world if you let it.

Anyway, that’s a really poetic way of saying that during my rewrites, I realized that this story was just too long to finish in one release. It expanded to seventy-two chapters – we’d be here until sometime this spring with me trying to slog through the draft with how long each step of the process takes me.

Breaking it into pieces gets you the story faster, and it keeps me fresher.

Book 1 (Undone) breaks the world into pieces. Book 2 begins the painful process of stitching it back together. Book 3 reveals the world changed.

I left Book 1 here because this is a chance for our characters to take a breath. Patrick sees some light at the end of the tunnel. Kate, Jax, Carly – they’re all at a crossroads. And Johnny and Nadine are just beginning to learn that they’re stronger together, even if they don’t understand why. Jason is finally facing the magnitude of what’s happened to him. Elizabeth found the words she worried would never come, and with it – a new sense of strength and confidence in what comes next.

As for what that is – you’ll just have to wait and see.

These Small Hours, Book 2: Shadows coming December 17, 2024

I can see you waitin’ down the hall from me
And I could see you up against the wall with me
And what would you do? Baby, if you only knew, oh
That I could see you throw your jacket on the floor
I could see you, make me want you even more
What would you do? Baby, if you only knew
That I can see you, oh, I can see you
– I Can You See You, Taylor Swift

---

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Audrey emerged from the kitchen with a dish towel in her hands, Jake running in front of her. Jason dropped his keys on the desk, hesitating when the toddler stopped at the sight of him. It was the first time Jason had seen his son awake since the night before, and he knew, of course, that Jake wouldn’t really remember the brief conversation with his mother. It would take longer for Jake to see Jason as a father figure.

“Jason, hello. Jake and I were just finishing lunch.” Audrey flashed a hesitant smile. “Jake, remember what Mommy said this morning?”

“Mom say hi.” Jake furrowed his little brow at his father as Jason crouched on the ground to be eye level with his son. “She say more?”

“Jason is your father, my darling.” Audrey rustled Jake’s hair. The words were a bit stilted, and maybe uncomfortable, but she was trying her best and Jason appreciated it. “Mommy told you it’s okay to have more than one, remember?”

“Mom say Daddy.” Jake nodded as if this brought it all back, but it really wouldn’t. “You the daddy.” He pointed one little finger at Jason.

“Yes,” Jason said carefully, fighting the urge just to pull the little boy into his arms and never let go. It was very important that Jake make the decision to accept Jason as his father after more than a year of Lucky in his life, and he wondered — what had it been like for AJ when Michael had come to live with him?

It brought back another wave of shame for letting this lie stand for so long — for lying about Michael all those years ago — for putting anyone else through this. AJ might have made choices later in life that had put him on the path that led to the end of his life but at the time Jason had told the lie, it hadn’t been personal. It hadn’t felt personal, anyway.

But now Jason knew what it was like to stand on the other side, and even though he’d participated in the lie, he didn’t like the way it felt.

“Yes, I’m your dad, too,” Jason said, though it was hard to add that final word. “Did you have a good lunch?”

“Jelly.” Jake’s face scrunched up. “Carrots. Bad carrots.”

“Vegetables never hurt anyone, sweetheart,” Audrey said wryly. “You survived.”

Jake shrugged, then raced off to the corner where the toys were kept, and Jason got to his feet. He focused on Elizabeth’s grandmother. “Thank you. I know that’s not easy for you.”

“It’s made me think of my own son,” Audrey admitted, “and now I wonder if I handled it well when I was Elizabeth’s age.” At Jason’s confused look, she added, “My son Tom wasn’t Steve’s biological son. Steve adopted him after his father died, and well, his father wasn’t a particularly good man. I hoped Tommy would forget him. And he did.” Her expression was strained. “But I just called Steve Dad and corrected Tommy every time he was confused. Sometimes he cried. Was that the right way?”

“I don’t know that there is a right way,” Jason said, and she looked back at him, pensive. “You just do the best you can and hope it’s enough. Elizabeth always talks about her grandfather with a lot of happiness, and I remember him a little. I know he was a good man.”

“A wonderful man. A good father.” Audrey nodded. “Tommy did eventually accept Steve, and we never spoke about his biological father again.” She rubbed her arms. “Elizabeth and I spoke a little this morning, and she told me that she wants Jake to see you as his father. To accept it, but without making him feel guilty if he still thinks of Lucky that way for now. It will take time for that to fade.”

“That’s what I want, too. I was part of this decision, Mrs. Hardy. It seemed like the right choice at the time,” Jason added. “But I was wrong. I just want to make it okay. I want Elizabeth and her boys to be happy.”

“That’s what I want, so in that, we have a common interest.” Audrey hesitated. “Can I ask…do you know anything else about the hospital? Have you any answers?”

“A few,” Jason said. He gestured for her to take a seat on the sofa and followed her there. “Spinelli found some strange codes in the automated dispensary machine.”

“Ah. I never did like those machines,” Audrey said with a wrinkle of her nose. “I understood how it would make it easier to keep inventory, but I was very glad when I didn’t have to use them for long. I had just taken over the nursing program when we introduced it, and I left all that in Bobbie’s capable hands.” She paused. “But Elizabeth received the wrong medication three times?”

“Spinelli confirmed it, but we don’t know anything else just yet. I’m sorry, I wish I had better news.”

“Well, knowing that it’s not another one of our nurses,” Audrey murmured. “That news about Jolene — oh, that was terrible. I worked so hard to make the nursing program a shining asset to the hospital. We were ranked in the top ten in the state during my time, did you know that? And Bobbie was doing quite well for a long time until those awful budget cuts. But I’ve heard such terrible stories since…” Her sigh was wistful. “Well, since Alan passed.”

Jason looked down at his hands, thought of his father. The hospital, and the future Jason had thrown away, had stood between them for so long. “Elizabeth doesn’t have much good to say about the man who replaced him.”

“I don’t know him—he came from outside which was an extraordinary choice. That role had always been filled internally. Steve held that position for so very long, and he fretted over who might take over after him. Alan wasn’t always the natural choice, but then in those last few years, Steve changed his mind and saw him as the natural fit,” Audrey continued. “Steve was planning to retire, and we were going to travel.” Her smile was wistful. “But we never did get that chance. At any rate, Dr. Ford was brought in by the board from the outside. Sometimes that can be good, but often — well, I don’t know what happened here. Only that he was not popular or well-liked.” She glanced at her watch. “And she ought to be waking up from her nap about now. Maybe it’s time you told her what was going on.”

Mandalay Bay Resort: Hotel Room

Johnny knocked lightly on the bathroom door. “Nadine?”

“Go away.” Her voice was muffled, but he could still make out the words, so she was likely just on the other side of the door.

“Well, I would except we have a problem. There’s just that one bathroom, and, uh, you don’t have any clothes in there.”

There was a long pause, and Johnny could nearly picture her glaring at the door as his words sank in. The change of clothing she’d bought the night before was still in the bag, with the tags attached.

“You could just give me the bag.”

“I could. But then you’d get dressed, and we’d avoid talking about this.”

“I think that’s the point—”

“Nadine. It’s not like this is a one-night stand.”

Nadine cracked the door open so that only a sliver of her face was visible. “Do you think this is funny? Because it’s not.”

“I never said—” Johnny closed his mouth. “Look, if you have regrets, that’s fine. I’m an adult, I can handle it. But—”

“Regrets doesn’t begin to—” Nadine pulled the door all the way open, keeping one hand clutching at the top of the sheet. “This was really stupid.”

“You said that already.”

“And—and—I don’t even know why it happened—”

“Nadine, we don’t have to overthink this. We already talked about the cover story, right? So what if it’s a little bit true—”

Her eyes widened. “It’s not—”

A bit exasperated, Johnny huffed and rolled his eyes. “You’re gorgeous, right? Any guy would be lucky to get you into bed. Are you going to tell me you don’t find me attractive, too?” He lifted his brows, and her cheeks flushed cherry red. “Can I take that as a yes?”

“But—” Nadine swallowed. “This isn’t who I am, okay? I don’t just jump into bed with guys I don’t know. I didn’t even sleep with Nikolas, and we were…sort of dating until five minutes ago. And you—you! What about Lulu? You’re still technically dating her.”

Some of his amusement faded and he sighed, looking away. “Yeah, I get that. I just…Nikolas is in California. Did he tell you to wait for him?”

“No, but—” Nadine bit her lip, shrugged a shoulder. “No. He didn’t. And I know that he doesn’t plan to come back until Lu is better. He’s moving his mother out there, too. And Lucky obviously treated it like a permanent move. So maybe…I don’t know, I guess that’s all the answer I needed. And it’s not like he had to run that decision past me or anything. That’s not how things were, but…” She shuffled past him, keeping her eyes trained down. “That’s more pathetic, don’t you think? I’m sitting here feeling guilty about sleeping with someone else, and he didn’t even factor me into his decision to move across the country.”

“He’s an idiot—”

“Johnny—” Nadine sank onto the bed, her blue eyes pained. “This isn’t who I am. Or who I want to be. I agreed to come here, to do this insane thing because I was afraid the PCPD would push you into another trial, and maybe this time they wouldn’t believe me. And there’s no one else to save you. But I didn’t—”

“Look, what happened here this morning isn’t the end of the world.” Johnny sat next to her, their shoulders brushing. “We’re attracted to each other. And I like you. Yeah, okay, it’s complicated. And I’m…” He paused. “I’m not sure what to do about Lulu. I love her. I don’t want to lie to you about that.”

“I understand that, and it doesn’t hurt me to hear it.” Nadine managed a smile. “I’d think less of you if you didn’t after less than a week. I’m sure it’s been hard since she started having problems. And the prospect of her not recovering…I really am sorry about that.”

“I know.” Johnny exhaled, looked ahead at the closed bathroom door. “But maybe this is still how it’s supposed to be. Even if she recovers, what does that look like? My life, my family…it’s too much to ask anyone to take on. And just being close to something traumatic sent her over the edge.”

“You can’t predict the future, Johnny, not when it comes to someone’s mental health.”

“No. But I do know that my future has to include you. Even without what happened this morning,” he added when she dropped her eyes back to her lap. She shifted her grip on the sheet. “It’s not like we can wait a few weeks and get divorced. We have to make this look good enough that they can’t challenge the privilege.”

“I knew that when I said yes.” Nadine nodded. “So, yeah, we have to do this part. But—”

“But through no fault of our own, we’re both single. And we’re, forgive me, stuck together.” Johnny caught her hand as she started to stand, and their eyes met. “Why not make the best of it?”

“The best of it?” she echoed. “You mean…”

“Yeah. I mean.” He kissed the inside of her palm, then drew Nadine against him, brushing his mouth against hers. Her lips remained still for a moment, but then softened and parted beneath his mouth. When Nadine didn’t resist or push him away, he gently lowered her back against the pillows, reaching for the edge of the sheet she’d wrapped around herself like a shield.

“But—” Her eyes searched his. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

“It’s probably not,” Johnny agreed, but feathered a kiss against the pulse point on her collarbone. “Do you want me to stop?”

Her eyes fluttered closed. “No. Damn it.” Nadine speared her fingers in his hair and drew his mouth back to hers. “I’m such an idiot.”

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bedroom

Elizabeth was awake — and she’d shuffled over to the armchair by the window, her expression guilty when Jason walked into the bedroom. “Don’t say it.”

Jason closed the door behind him. “What did you always tell me when I was hurt?”

“Oh, that’s not fair,” she grumbled, wincing and leaning back, slouching down in the chair so that her torso could lay somewhat flat. “I wanted to get out of bed.”

Jason wanted to argue with her, but he was just so relieved to see her looking more like herself. She’d washed her hair, and her face, though pale and strained, didn’t look quite so blank. He’d spent too many hours sitting next to her bed, watching her sleep and hoping she’d wake up to argue with him.

“You know, I need to check the menu,” Jason said, leaning down to lift her into his arms. She looped an arm around his neck, holding on. “See if there’s any cream of broccoli left.”

“You complain, but you got better, didn’t you?” she muttered, and he managed a smile. He laid her back into the bed, pulling the comforter away so it didn’t get stuck beneath her body. “Soup is good for you.”

“I’ll remind your grandmother.” He sat down on the edge of the bed. “No more IV?”

“Gram said I’m okay. I don’t need any more fluids or pain meds pushed that way. She switched me to oral meds.” Elizabeth considered him as she relaxed back into the pillow. “Are you ready to tell me why you checked me out of the hospital after major surgery?”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” Jason dragged a hand down his face. Had it really been just yesterday? “You had a bruised kidney after the accident, but Leo Julian said it would heal on its own. Instead, it started bleeding, and you went into shock.”

Her brows pinched together. “Leo’s a good surgeon. That’s not a mistake I’d expect him to make.”

“He didn’t. He went back over your surgery video, and the kidney was just bruised. They pulled your chart and ran the blood.” Jason traced the edge of her sleep shirt. “Patrick prescribed you fentanyl. Instead, you were given three doses of warfarin.”

“War—” Elizabeth stared at him. “Three doses? How is that possible? We had systems to stop that—”

“Patrick was pretty sure from the start that it was deliberate somehow.” Jason said with a shake of his head. “And Spinelli confirmed that what happened to you isn’t like the other problems you’ve been having at the hospital.” He lifted his brows. “What’s going on with that?”

“The hospital—well, it hasn’t really been great the last year or so. Since Dr. Ford took over as chief of staff. We also got a new hospital president and some new members of the board.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Well, it’s not something I’d bring up without a reason. You hate talking about the hospital,” Elizabeth reminded him, and he nodded. “It started to trickle down a little bit — you couldn’t get meetings with supervisors. Written up for silly infractions. The ICU med dispensary kept giving wrong dosages — we reported it a thousand times, but the hospital kept saying there was no money for new equipment. The problem, they said, was our training,” Elizabeth muttered. “We just implemented new safety protocols, but we never know if we’ve accounted for every problem.” She sighed. “It’s really been a mess, and I’m sorry Patrick has to take it on. I know he’s had push back from the higher ups.”

“That doesn’t seem right,” Jason muttered.

“It’s been awful since the new administration came in. Cutting the nursing program was such a body blow to morale. Where would I be without it?” she murmured. “My grandmother built it with love and sweat and tears. It was there when I needed to change my life, to provide for my boys. For Bobbie, when she needed a fresh start. It was the heart and soul—” her eyes filled. “It’s not right. None of it is.”

“I’m sorry.” Jason stroked her hair back from her forehead. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s—” She accepted the tissue he handed her. “It’s just a lot, you know. And now apparently, it’s getting worse. For patients to be getting the wrong medication—” She paused, looked at him, her eyes sharper now. “Wait. You said it was deliberate.”

“Your medication problems were,” Jason said. “That much we know for sure. Spinelli said the program can be hacked. He’s going to look into how to fix it, I hope.” Jason would make sure of it, even if he had to donate the money himself. “But I just—I didn’t trust the hospital after that.”

“Oh. That makes sense, I guess. You’ll tell me what Spinelli finds out?”

“Yeah,” he assured her. “Whatever he finds out. But for now, you should get some rest—”

Elizabeth caught his hand as he started to rise. “Jason. Don’t…can’t you stay a little longer?”

“I—” Jason nodded. “Yeah, I can.” He sat back down. “But you should sleep. You’re still tired—”

“Tired of laying in this bed, not able to do anything. Is there any change with Sonny?”

His hand slid away from hers, and he shook his head. “No. No, but I should call Carly. Make sure she has what she needs, that Morgan does—”

If Elizabeth was going to argue with him or ask him to stay again, Jason didn’t know. He was out the door almost before she could say a word.

Mandalay Bay Resort: Hotel Room

Johnny sifted through his wallet, contemplating what he wanted to leave the maid for one night. Across the room, Nadine was carefully folding her few clothes back into the plastic bag they’d decided to share on their flight back.

After he’d pulled her back into bed that second time, he knew he’d be pushing his luck if they didn’t start making plans for leaving the hotel room. Maybe it was tempting to just stay locked up in the room with its wide, comfortable bed and room service, but Johnny knew that Nadine wasn’t going to be seduced twice. Well, three times, he thought, smirking—

His smirk faded when, instead of pulling out a fifty, he pulled out a photograph of Lulu taken sometime last year. Her bright smile, sparkling blue eyes stared back at him, and the guilt he’d been forcing down earlier crawled up his throat. He’d meant what he said to Nadine. Lulu was in California, gone from his life with little chance of coming back. And even if she did — he’d married another woman. Even before they’d slept together, Johnny had to look out for Nadine now, to keep her safe while she protected him from the PCPD.

Nadine might feel her own guilt for jumping into bed after breaking off what little she’d shared with Nikolas, but Johnny’s guilt was different — he and Lulu had been in a committed relationship, even as Logan had lingered in that coma. They’d fallen in love, and Johnny hadn’t planned on any future that didn’t include her.

But it couldn’t now, and he didn’t know what he felt about any of it. What would Lulu think about what he’d done in these last twenty-four hours?

“Johnny?”

He jerked his head up to find Nadine looking at him. Johnny shoved the photo back in his pocket and removed the fifty. “Yeah, I was just trying to decide whether to leave a fifty or a hundred. I know how crappy these places can pay.”

“Oh, okay. Um, we should get to the airport.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Just—” Johnny shoved his wallet back into his pocket, swallowing the complicated swirl of guilt and turned his attention back on to the present. “Let me call my sister first. I think it’s time to go back on the grid, you know? And maybe warn her about what’s going to happen next.”

I can’t escape myself
(I can’t escape myself)
So many times I’ve lied
(So many times I’ve lied)
But there’s still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can’t control myself
– Animal I Have Become, Three Days Grace

---

Friday, September 26, 2008

Crimson Pointe: Living Room

“Johnny?”

The name echoed as Anthony Zacchara rolled himself from the hallway into the living room, his eyes scanning the area. “Where the hell is that boy?” he muttered, rolling towards the back of the room and the door that led to his study.

Seated behind the desk, Trevor Lansing’s salt and pepper head was bent over something, a pen in his head. Anthony rolled to the entrance, his mouth pinched. Bastard sitting at his desk like it was Trevor’s—as if the power Anthony commanded belonged to him. Since Anthony had fallen ill a few years earlier, the once trusted counselor had been nothing more than a vulture scavenging the remains of the Zacchara empire.

“Where’s Johnny?” he bit out. Trevor lifted his head, squinted. “My son,” Anthony added as if it required clarification. “You have one job—”

“I have many jobs, Anthony.” Trevor set down the pen, focused on him. “The primary of which is to keep you out of jail. If you want someone to chase after your worthless kid—” he lifted his brows when his own son edged around Anthony’s wheelchair and entered the room. “Why not tell my useless son to do it?”

“Always a pleasure, Dad,” Ric Lansing murmured, flipping through a stack of mail. “If you’re looking for Johnny, he left for Port Charles yesterday with a bag. He’s staying until Sunday. Maybe Monday. The wedding,” he added when Anthony just scowled. “Easier to stick close if Lulu needs him and not be two hours away.”

“He shoulda thought of that before he took up with that LooLoo,” Anthony retorted, resting his elbows on the arms of the chair. “He didn’t say nothing to me—”

“Because you’d turn it into a situation. He’s an adult, Anthony. As much as you hate it, he’s over eighteen. At least he’s closer than he was when he went to graduate school,” Ric pointed out. “What’s the difference between Port Charles and Oxford?”

“Anthony was a little bit more of sound mind during that period. Less paranoid,” Trevor said with a smirk, and Anthony shot him a dark look. “Just stating facts. As long as we had one of our guys on him, you didn’t care where he went. It’s only since your more recent illness that you’ve needed to have your own eyes on him.”

“Can’t trust any of you vipers. You’re just waiting for me to die, the harlot my useless first wife abandoned is probably plotting it as we speak, and—” Anthony squinted at Ric. “I don’t know. You probably don’t care who’s in charge as long as you get to be part of the inner circle.”

“Bullseye.” Ric tossed the stack on the desk. “I’ll call Alexis and ask her to keep an eye out. Kristina is the flower girl, so she’s taking both girls. I doubt that’s enough for you, but—”

“Wasn’t your ex trying to keep her kids away from Sonny after the oldest got a bullet in the brain?” Trevor asked. “If you’re lying—”

“Alexis wasn’t successful in family court,” Ric said dryly. “It’s Sonny’s week. Any other custodial issues you want updated, Dad, or—”

“So it’ll be a full house. All members of the family.” Anthony considered this. “Johnny with the lunatic, Sonny and his kids. How many ex-wives?”

“Just the one. He hasn’t been married nearly as many times as you’d think.”

“That’s right. The first one went—” Anthony spread his hands out. “Kablooey!”

“When’s the last time anyone ever heard from Domenica?” Trevor wanted to know. “I always wondered what happened to her. You sure she’s not in the same place as Johnny’s mother?”

Anthony exhaled slowly, sent Trevor another cold look. “You got a lot of attitude for a man I could kill in his sleep with just one word. You wanna say something else smart?”

Trevor just smirked, then rose to his feet. “Go ahead, Anthony. Do your worst. Otherwise, let me do my job and give the babysitting gigs to my son. I have a meeting.”

“One of these days,” Anthony murmured, his eyes following the man out of the room. “One of these days, he’s going to go too far.” He focused on Ric, leaning against the desk. “That bother you?”

“Should it? Does my lack of loyalty to my father bother you?” Ric wanted to know.

“No. It makes me curious. You even able to be loyal to anyone else but yourself?”

“My daughter. That’s about it.” Ric paused. “I have concerns for other people. But loyalty is too often blind and ignorant. I have no interest in that. You need me, and for now, it serves my interest to toe the line and be useful to you. If that changes, you’ll be the first to know. Probably.”

Anthony wanted to argue with that answer, but honesty was a value all its own. “Fair enough. If I tell you to go fetch my boy, what do you say to that?”

“I say—” Ric straightened. “You should give him a little rope. He wouldn’t fight so hard if you gave a little. It’s a few days in Port Charles. The odds are that Lulu Spencer will be in treatment for six months, maybe a year. I heard through some old sources at the DA’s office that her brother is offering to relocate her as part of a deal. Maybe this all comes to a natural end. But you keep your fist around his neck, and he’s going to keep fighting to breathe. Leave him alone. That’s what I say.”

“Now where’s the fun in that?” Anthony wanted to know, then smiled. “But maybe you’re right. Maybe I let Johnny off the hook this weekend. Might be entertaining.”

Crimson Offices: Fitting Room

Kate Howard sighed, then turned to the side so that the full profile of her gown was visible in the three-sided mirror. “I think it needs to be taken in a bit—”

“I think you look amazing,” Maxie Jones gushed. She gave the seamstress a meaningful look and the woman stepped back. “The dress fits you like a glove.”

Kate sighed, smoothed her hands down the skirt. “Perhaps. But—”

“I talked to the coordinator at the church,” Maxie interrupted, holding out her hand so that Kate could step down. “Everything is exactly as you asked, and Sonny is going to talk to Jason about the security changes you wanted to make.”

Kate had the feeling she was being managed but allowed it. Even if she wanted the dress taken in another few centimeters, there wouldn’t be enough time before tomorrow. She stepped behind a partition and Maxie efficiently unbuttoned the dress, then returned it to the garment bag.

“What about—”

“I’m dropping off the tuxedos to Spinelli and Jason tomorrow,” Maxie interjected, “and Max is picking up Sonny’s today. I’ll be stopping by Greystone on my way to your house to be sure it looks exactly right. Kristina’s dress is perfect. Alexis has that in hand as well.”

Kate wrapped the edges of her robe around her slim body, then arched a perfectly plucked brow at her assistant. “Have you thought of everything?”

“Very nearly. I have three dresses for Lulu, all of which have been tailored to her exact size—I used the measurements from the Bennington party in June, and double checked them when I visited earlier this week. I wanted—” Maxie hesitated, some of her coolness fading. “I wanted her to be able to pick. Like I did. I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s more than okay. She’ll be all right,” Kate assured Maxie. “You’ll be fighting for my attention again by Christmas.”

“I hope so.” Maxie chewed her bottom lip. “It seems unfair,” she said. “That she’s going through this when she just tried to help me. I should have made her go to the police. I should have—” She cleared her throat. “Anyway. Like I said, everything is ready at the church. The clothing arrangements are on point, and the stylist has been confirmed for the morning. I can’t think of anything I’ve missed.”

“Neither can I. And believe me,” Kate said, dryly, “you would know if there was.”

After she’d changed back into her work clothes, she returned to her office, smiling hesitantly when she found Jax waiting for her. “This is a surprise.”

The tall, blond Australian rose from the chair, turning his sober blue eyes on her. “I wanted to talk about a new investor for the magazine if you could take time in your busy schedule,” he said, almost a little caustically.

Some of Kate’s good mood faded, and she sighed. She went behind her desk. “You’re still angry with me.”

“Frustrated. Annoyed. Confused. We both learned something devastating last week, and it feels like I’m the only one who’s angry about it. How can you be marrying that man tomorrow?” Jax demanded.

“Because,” Kate said, a bit delicately, “I am not you, and Sonny is not Carly. I chose to listen to Sonny, to believe in his remorse, and accept his apology. To look towards the future. I can understand why you haven’t. But that choice does not make me less.”

Jax exhaled slowly, then sat back down, some of his ire fading. “It’s not supposed to be this way,” he muttered. “Carly—she’d be due in a month. Did you know that?”

“The miscarriage from the warehouse last winter.” Kate sat in the chair next to him. “I imagine that’s weighing on you both. I’m sorry. That loss, with what happened to Michael, it must be soul-crushing. But are you really angry at me?” she asked.

“I’m angry at Sonny,” Jax retorted, straightening. “Carly was almost away from him. You know that? The last few years, we had our life. Separate. We were building something that was just ours. Michael and Morgan—they were mine, too.” He wiped his hand over his mouth. “And he dragged us all back into his world. Michael finding that gun, running away—Carly losing the baby when she went looking, then Michael being shot by a bullet meant for Sonny—and if that wasn’t enough—if he hadn’t taken enough from me, he slept with my wife.”

“Carly isn’t exactly innocent—”

“And that’s why I’m not at home right now. That’s why I left. Because I can’t look at her. I can’t breathe and then I come here, and—” Jax shook his head. “Sonny gets exactly what he wants. He walks away from the business, dumping it on Jason, and gets to keep both his children. Gets to have the girl. And the rest of us? What do we get?”

Kate just looked at him, her heart aching. “I’m sorry. I can’t cancel the wedding because you think Sonny doesn’t deserve this. I can’t make myself miserable because it would feel like justice to you. Maybe I’m a fool for believing in him, for thinking we can be happy, but it’s the choice I’ve made. I love Sonny. If you love Carly, you’ll do what I’ve done and find a way to get past this.”

“It’s not that simple.” Jax tossed the folder he’d held in his hand on the desk. “Take a look at the paperwork when you get a chance. I’ll see you after the honeymoon.”

“Jax, wait—”

But by the time Kate had risen and made it to the door, he was already gone.

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Elizabeth cut Jake’s grilled cheese into smaller pieces that the toddler could eat, then did the same for Cameron’s burger, though he only needed it to be cut in half.  A shadow fell over their table, and Elizabeth smiled. “Hey, Bobbie.”

“Hello, sweetheart.” Bobbie took the fourth empty chair and grinned at the boys. “And look at my Webber boys. Growing like weeds. How old are you now, Cameron? Twelve?”

“I this many. Miss Michael say so.” Cameron held up hand, his fingers spread out and his thumb tucked in. “One, two, free, four. Four. Jake is one. Not as many fingers. I have more.”

“So big, the both of you!” She turned her attention back to Elizabeth. “Feels like just yesterday you came home from California with him,” Bobbie said, setting her purse on the table. “How are you?” she asked. “How’s work?”

“Busy. I haven’t seen you a lot since…” she made a face. “Since the nursing program was shut down last winter.” It had been the first cut when the new board of directors had taken over, and Bobbie had been without a job at General Hospital for the first time in thirty years. She’d opted for early retirement rather than finding somewhere else to work. “We miss you.”

“I miss all of you, too. And the hospital. But I’m spending more time with—” Her face tightened. “With Morgan,” she said softly. “And I spent most of the summer in Seattle with Lucas. So I’m keeping busy.” She tipped her head. “But I hear you’re on your way out of Port Charles. A trip?”

Elizabeth adjusted Cameron’s straw. “That’s right,” she said. “Ten days all by myself. Lucky say something?”

“No, no. I don’t see him as much as I should, though I’ve been at Shadybrooke with Lulu. Checking in with Laura. I suppose he’ll have the boys?”

“That’s the plan—” Elizabeth frowned, then sighed. “Carly. She said something, didn’t she?”

“Was she not supposed to?” Bobbie asked, tipping her head. “Does it bother you that I know?”

Elizabeth looked around them, but there was no one at the next table and she didn’t recognize any of the other diners. “No, it doesn’t bother me, but I’m sure Jason won’t appreciate Carly telling anyone. Even if it is you. It’s not supposed to be common knowledge.”

“Well, I don’t think it is, but I also—” Bobbie folded her arms on the table, leaned in. “I also don’t think most people would be surprised. I certainly wasn’t. I sort of—” She looked at Jake who grinned at her. “I think I knew the first time I saw him.”

“Which means if Monica or Edward get good look at him, we’re screwed, right?” Elizabeth said, leaning back. “I think sometimes Jason doesn’t realize it’s not much of a secret. Lucky knows. Sam knows. Carly and Sonny. You. Gram will probably figure it out eventually, and Jake—he looks so much like him,” she murmured. “From the eyes to the smile — and sometimes he holds his head the same way. And that’s when they don’t even spend a lot of time together.”

“Some things are just genetic, I suppose. So…they do spend time together?” Bobbie asked. “Does Jake know—I mean—”

“No. He just knows him as Jason. Which I hate. I started it,” she told Bobbie. “I started it for a lot of stupid reasons, and then we kept it going because we were worried about Jason’s job. And of course…after Michael…”

“Of course.” Bobbie took a deep breath, pressed a fist against her heart. “Of course. Well, you have to do what’s right for you.” She looked at Elizabeth. “Is this right for you? Keeping it all a secret?”

“No. No, it wasn’t right for me from the start. But I didn’t have the courage to say so, and now—now I can’t. Jason—” Elizabeth picked up the remains of straw wrapper. “He’s just lost so many people—and he blames himself for all of them. Alan? He tells himself that happened because of Lorenzo Alcazar, so even though it had nothing to do with him or Sonny personally, that’s on him. And what Diego Alcazar did in revenge—” Her throat tightened. “Losing Emily six months after he never really got over losing his father—and then as if he needed one more hit, the world took the little boy he still thinks of as his son. I’m sorry—I know that’s your loss, too. And I hate it. I hate all of it.”

Bobbie brushed at her tears, accepted the tissue Elizabeth handed her. “I know, honey, you don’t have to apologize. Michael belonged to us all. And I know he’s not dead, but he’ll never be alive again in any meaningful way.”

“You sad, Mommy?” Cameron’s face scrunched up. “I eat my veggies. That make you happy.” He shoved some carrots at Jake. “You eat too. Make Mommy happy.”

Jake seemed suspicious, but picked up one with his index finger, put it in his mouth, then made a face. “Ugh. Bad.”

Bobbie laughed, and Elizabeth pressed her hands to her face, drying her own tears. “Yes, that makes me very happy. How lucky am I to have such amazing sons?”

Cameron beamed, looked at Bobbie. “Mommy okay. You okay?”

“Yes, sweetheart, I’m okay.” Bobbie looked at Elizabeth. “I suppose I should be more torn on the subject since Lucky is my nephew. But I think we both know he hasn’t really been the father we thought he would. When I realized Jake wasn’t his, well, it answered a few questions for me. Spencer men—they talk a good game. But they don’t live up to their promises well, do they?”

“No, they really don’t. But—” Elizabeth sighed. “I was scared, too, after we lost Emily and Georgie. Then Michael—I thought Jason was right. But I also want my boys to have the best life I can give them. Jason’s so wonderful with them, and they adore him. I don’t know if Jason’s going to be able to stay away forever. So now that I know what I want, what I need, I can live with giving him more time to see it, too. This trip was his idea, Bobbie. I know he wants a life with us. I’m sorry if that upset Carly enough to tell you—”

“Carly is Carly and will make anything a problem. I’ve always loved you, you know. And your boys—maybe I haven’t been good at showing that either,” Bobbie said, squeezing Elizabeth’s hand. “But I’m glad to see you happy. After the year you’ve had, you deserve it.”

“I hope you—and Carly—I hope you get to have it, too. I mean that. Carly’s lost a lot this year. I’m glad you’re home and you’ll be here for her.”

“And she’ll be a little less in Jason’s face,” Bobbie added, and Elizabeth grinned.

“Silver lining.”

Coffee House: Office

Jason caught sight of something soft and blue sticking out beneath the sofa. He crouched down and found a stuffed bear. Jake had been playing with it, he thought, thinking of his son playing in his office. Of this evidence that he’d been able to see Jake today, to share time with him.

Jason sat on the sofa, the bear in his hands, his fingers smoothing out the soft fur. Elizabeth had reluctantly left a little while ago. They needed dinner, she’d told him, almost apologetically, and he’d had a few meetings scheduled. He didn’t want any of them still here when someone else could show up and see them. He’d helped her clean up the toys, then had carried Jake out to the car, belted him in.

He’d be going home to a — well, not an empty penthouse, but one only inhabited by a computer hacker who mostly lived on barbecue chips and orange soda. There’d be no kids laughing or chasing each other. No messy dinners or quiet bedtimes. Or having Elizabeth in his bed tonight.

But maybe, just maybe, if everything went the way Jason planned over the next few months, if he got away with it, maybe that could change.

There was a knock at the door, and Jason looked up. “Yeah?”

“Sonny’s here,” Cody said, but he’d barely managed to get the words out before Sonny strolled past him.

“What’s that?” Sonny asked, nodding at the toy in Jason’s hand. Jason went to the desk, slid the bear into the drawer next to the photo he kept of Elizabeth and the boys.

“Nothing. Security for tomorrow—”

“Looks like a toy. You have Morgan here earlier or something?”

“No.” Jason sighed. “No, Elizabeth came by with the boys to sign papers we needed for the trip. Jake left something behind. I need to get into the church about three hours before the ceremony—”

“Two hours is all Father Coates could guarantee,” Sonny said. He sat in the chair, relaxed. “And your guy talked to you about the door, right? He said he would.”

“Yeah, Cody told me. We need to check the door, Sonny. Just to make sure people are on the invite list. That’s standard,” Jason said. “Kate’s a high profile person, too—”

“She and I talked about that, and we both feel like checking invitations at the door just reminds all her people who I used to be.” Sonny tipped his head. “Do a visual confirmation. You got the invitation list. You know the people from my side. Not a lot of people from Kate’s side are coming up. I don’t think it needs to be that tight.”

Jason just stared at him, then shook his head. “It’s standard,” he repeated. “We’ve always done that. I don’t understand why you’re refusing—”

“And I don’t know why you’re pushing this.” Now Sonny’s voice had a bit of an edge to it. “I told you. I’m out. That was the point of all of this, of you taking over. You didn’t like the way I was doing things. Now I let you take security on this so you and Carly would feel better—”

“The Zaccharas—”

“Aren’t worth my attention. Johnny’s an idiot. I obviously gave him too much credit — look at what he did to Lulu. And Anthony’s in a wheelchair. Claudia’s too busy sniffing after you.” Sonny sneered. “And you said you dealt with Karpov.”

“I did. He moved on to Rochester, and the last I heard he was bothering the Jankowskis down there. But—”

“But nothing. Look, I get it. You’re worried after everything has happened.” Now Sonny’s tone softened. “But that’s over. We got the guy who went after Michael. The Zaccharas are neutralized. Karpov is gone. I’m getting married tomorrow, and you’re leaving on a trip with the woman you love. We deserve this break, Jason. You take Elizabeth to Italy, and you show her a good time. Don’t worry about me and mine. I got it handled. Thanks for handling security, but what we’ve got now is fine. We don’t need more.” He got to his feet. “Elizabeth excited about leaving tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Yeah, she is.” Jason exhaled slowly. “I just feel like I’ve missed something.”

“You haven’t. We haven’t. So let’s just enjoy the moment while we have it. Tomorrow is going to go exactly the way we both planned.” Sonny headed for the door, turning back to grin at Jason. “I really think this marriage is going to be the right one. You know? Third wife is the charm and all that. Don’t worry about me. Focus on your family. That’s what you wanted to do, isn’t it?”

Sonny left before Jason could answer. He sighed, sat down and pulled open the drawer to find the bear and photo. He took them both out, traced the lines of Elizabeth’s smile, then the boys. “Yeah,” he said to the empty room. “That’s what I wanted.”

Sonny was right. Other than the guys at the door, Jason had everything else he needed for security. The ceremony would go off without a hitch, and he’d be out the door, heading for the airport.

And then he’d finally show Elizabeth the light in Italy.

So, when will this end? It goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keeps spinning around, I know that it won’t stop
‘Til I step down from this for good
I never thought I’d end up here
Never thought I’d be standing where I am
I guess I kind of thought that it would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong now one more time
– Sick Cycle Carousel, Lifehouse

---

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Webber House: Living Room

“Are there any other toys you want to take to Daddy’s house?” Elizabeth asked Cameron, crouching down to find Jake’s sneakers.

“No. I gots my trucks and Legos.” Cameron dragged the bag full of toys next to his Spiderman suitcase. “Where you go again?”

“Italy. To see the gondolas. The long skinny boats.” Elizabeth tugged one sneaker on Jake’s foot, then the other, leaving him to play with the Velcro straps. “And the light.”

“The light?” Cameron looked up at the light fixture in the ceiling. “We gots light here.”

“The sunlight reflecting from the canals,” Elizabeth said, but she was smiling. She heard a car in the driveway and got to her feet. “I’ll take lots of pictures to show you when I get home. That’s Daddy now.” She headed for the door, grimacing when she pulled it open and realized Lucky wasn’t alone.

He’d brought Sam.

Her mouth settled in a thin line. Why did he constantly have to push— “We talked about this.”

“You talked, and I ignored you.” Lucky slid past her and caught Cameron as he ran towards his father. “Hey, buddy. You ready for a whole week with me and Sam?”

Cameron peered over Lucky’s shoulder, his tiny dark brows drawn together. “Who you?”

“I’m a friend of your dad’s. Sam—” Sam stepped up behind Lucky, and lifted her hand to shake Cameron’s, but Elizabeth pulled Cameron out of Lucky’s arms, angled him away from Sam whose hand fell back to her side. The smile faded from her face.

“We talked about this, and you agreed. I told you if you pushed me on this, we’d go to court and make it official,” Elizabeth said.

“You really want to get into this in front of them?” Lucky asked, nodding to the boys. Jake was standing on the sofa, hanging back. Unlike Cameron, the toddler hadn’t run towards Lucky — in the year since their divorce, Lucky’s visits with the boys were infrequent and short. Never more than one night, and even that was rare these days.

“We could. But I don’t know why I have to in front of a police officer,” Elizabeth said, smiling sweetly at Sam who just rolled her eyes. “Considering one call to Amelia Joffe would lead to some very difficult questions for you.”

“And I’m not the only one who knows about that—” Lucky began.

“You’re the only one who knows and still wants her around. She’s not staying at the house with them. I’ll cancel my entire trip right now and go straight to Mac.”

“Mommy?” Cameron asked. “You wanna see the lights.”

“I do, honey. Go sit next to your brother.” Elizabeth set Cameron on his feet, then looked to her ex-husband with his sour expression. “And don’t think you can get around me by waiting for me to be gone. I’ll find out and I’ll go straight to the courthouse when I get back.”

“It’s fine, Lucky. I’ll just stay at my place this week,” Sam said. “Let’s not waste time on something that doesn’t matter.” She shot Elizabeth a nasty look. “And you won’t be in control of this situation forever.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t bet on that.” Elizabeth curled her hand around the edge. “Agree, Lucky, or I’m closing the door.”

Lucky muttered under his breath. “Fine. Fine. Sam won’t come near them. But I need to talk to you and unlike you, I don’t want to do it in front of the boys. So can we compromise? She’ll take the kids to the car, put them in their seats. You can watch her the entire time. Or I’ll be the one to walk and you can find another babysitter—”

“You’re not a babysitter, Lucky. You’re their father. At least, that’s what you keep telling me. Fine. She can take them to the car. But she stays outside. I don’t want her talking to them, either.”

Elizabeth went to the sofa, knelt down. “Hey, you’re going to go with Daddy’s friend, Sam. She’ll put you in the car,” she told Cameron. “I need you to make sure Jake is belted in nice and tight. You know just how I showed you.”

“I got you, Mommy. Me ‘n Spiderman.” He held up his plastic figurine. “We go to the rescue.”

“That’s right.” Elizabeth hugged and kissed them both, then reluctantly handed them over to Sam. She stood in the doorway, watching like a hawk as the other woman put them into car seats in the back of Lucky’s SUV. “Damn you for this, Lucky. I don’t ask for much—”

“Since I’m currently playing daddy to two kids who aren’t biologically mine—”

She snapped her head back around, her eyes flashing. “Say the word, Lucky, and we’ll end it now. No more child support. No more visits. No more Daddy. Go ahead. Keep using that against me.”

“You figure you got Jason in the wings, you don’t need me anymore?” Lucky demanded. “You think I don’t know who you’re going with? Spinelli let it spill to Sam Jason’s going out of town, too—”

“I think that I get to do whatever I want in my free time because I’m not dating someone who put my kids in danger. You said you wanted to talk, Lucky. Talk.”

“Fine. I didn’t come here to argue.” And now his tone shifted, softened. ” I know you’ve gone to see Lulu. Thank you. For doing that. For bringing pictures of the boys. It’s—it’s helped keep her thinking about the good that’s out here.”

“Lulu doesn’t have to be another casualty in all of this,” Elizabeth said. “I love her, too. I hate that she’s going through this, but she’s getting better, isn’t she?”

“No. No—” He dragged a hand through his hair. “She’s not. She keeps slipping away just like Mom. Nikolas is working on a deal for her with the DA, no charges if she gets treatment. But Shadybrooke isn’t the answer. We’re moving her. And my mother. As soon as Nikolas gets the go ahead.”

“Back to London?” Elizabeth asked. “I thought you said you wanted to keep Laura close—”

“We do. That’s the deal we’re making. There’s a doctor in California. Berkeley. They’re familiar with Mom’s condition, so we’re moving there. Nikolas and me. Sam, too. She’s coming out there with me.”

Elizabeth stared at him for a long moment. “You’re—you’re moving to California. That’s just—it’s a done deal? Is that what you’re telling me?”

“Yeah. I know it seems sudden, but it’s not. We’ve been talking about this since it all went down. But he heard back about the open spots, and he thinks with Baldwin out of town, we might get some movement on this.”

“But—” She exhaled slowly. “The boys. You don’t even see them regularly as it is, Lucky. And now you’re going three thousand miles away?”

“We’ll work something out. Maybe a month in the summer. Holidays. Cam’s in school now, right? So he’ll have breaks. You can bring them out, and I’ll bring them home. We can iron all of that out—”

“We’re not even going to talk about it? They’re one and four, Lucky. I can’t just—” Her eyes burned as she stared at the car with Sam standing next to the back seat, looking through the windows. “Sam’s going with you, so you’re telling me she’d be living with my boys when they’re there.”

“It’s no different than you taking them to see Jason—”

“Jason didn’t stand by and watch someone walk away with Jake,” Elizabeth cut in sharply. “Jason didn’t keep quiet and refuse to help find him—”

“She did that because of Jason—now they’re not together—”

“You think I care why she did it? I didn’t press charges, but I should have. God, I should have. And I swear I will. If you let her anywhere near my children, that’s the first thing I’ll do. I’ll go right to the PCPD—”

“What do you want me to do? My family needs this. Okay? I wasn’t there for my mother, and I haven’t been there for Lulu. I’m not going to be like my father—I’m not going to let my sister down—”

“Your family needs this.” Elizabeth waited a moment, then nodded. She stepped back inside the house. “All right. Fine. Go take care of your family. Thanks for looking after the kids this week.”

“You’re not going to fight about Sam anymore?” Lucky asked, almost warily. He looped the strap of the toy bag across his chest and picked up the suitcases. “Why?”

“Because I’m not taking a single day off from my life to fly the boys out to see you if she’s with you. You’ll have to come get them. And we both know how likely that’ll be.” She held the storm door open for him. “Call Patrick if you need me this week. He has my contact information.”

“I have to do this—”

“I know you believe that, but you’re the one choosing that woman over the boys you say that you love as your own. And if you think I’m out of line, we’ll just take it to court, Lucky. Have a good time with the boys this week.”

Then she closed the door.

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Jason set his suitcase at the bottom of the stairs and went to the desk where Spinelli had left the plans for the church. “Did Cody or Francis check in?” he asked, looking through one of the drawers for his passport.

“Loyal Second Sir of Security called ten minutes ago. The Godly One will allow your security entrance an hour earlier than Mister Sir indicated. He and —” Spinelli frowned. “The Jackal cannot think of a nickname for Sir Francis, so, uh—”

“Spinelli, I have a thousand things to do before I leave for the church, and I’m not coming back here.” Jason arched a brow. “What did I tell you about nicknames?”

“Go simple or ditch altogether,” Spinelli muttered darkly. “Stone Cold should be in a better mood. Mister Sir is marrying the Glacial One, and my Yoda embarks on a voyage of love with his lady—”

“Spinelli.”

“Cody and Francis will be at the church starting at two. Guests start coming in at four, and the ceremony begins at four-thirty.” The younger man made a face. “Stone Cold sucks all the fun out of life.”

“Trying to care. Can’t.” Jason tucked the passport into the outer pocket of his suitcase, glancing up as the door opened. Maxie came in, two huge garment bags over one arm. “Aren’t you supposed to be with Kate?”

“On my way, but you were my first stop.” Maxie shoved one bag at Spinelli and the other at Jason’s. “You need to put these on right now to make sure the final fittings are perfect—”

“We’re sitting in the pew, it doesn’t matter—”

“Okay, look, pal—” Maxie blew a piece of white-blonde hair out of her eyes. “Kate hasn’t turned into Bridezilla yet because it’s my job to nag everyone. So when she asks me if you tried these on, I get to tell her yes and not lie. So hop to it and strip. Don’t be a prude, I barely notice you’re a man—” She frowned at the suitcase. “Who’s going somewhere?”

“The tuxes are fine, Maxie.” Jason took her by the arm and steered her towards the door. “Go bother someone else—” He opened the door and shoved her out of it.

“How rude—” But he closed the door, cutting off her retort.

“Maximista is going to make me pay for that later,” Spinelli said with a wince.

“Trying to care about that, too. Still a no.” Jason took the garment bag, lifted the suitcase. “I’m going to the coffee house, then the warehouse. I have to stop in with Sonny, too. But this is the last time I’ll see you until the church. Tell Cody and Francis to call if they need me.”

“Aye, aye, Stone Cold, sir.” Spinelli saluted him. “And if we do not have a moment to speak before you must flee to airport, have a marvelous time and tell Fair Elizabeth the Jackal sends his most felicitous—”

But Jason had closed the door on that, too, and Spinelli broke off with a scowl. “Methinks my sensei could stand to loosen up. Party pooper.”

Howard Estate: Foyer

Maxie hustled through the door, marking off another item in her list and heading straight for the voices in the living room. She stopped short when she saw a woman she didn’t recognize standing near Kate. “Uh, did I miss something somewhere?”

“No, Maxie. This is Olivia.” Kate’s smile was warm, but her eyes seemed a bit panicked. She traded a look with the dark-haired woman. “My cousin from New York.”

“From Bensonhurst,” Olivia said, the hint of Brooklyn in her voice hitting Maxie’s ears and making her wince. “And if you think I’m calling you Kate, you’re freaking out of your mind—”

“So glad Sonny brought you all the way here,” Kate said tightly. “Really, we ought to get together more often.” Her face clean of cosmetics and clad in a silk robe that matched the wrap around her hair, Kate focused on Maxie. “Did you go to the Towers?”

“Delivered the tuxes, and just left Sonny’s. All systems are a go. We just have to get you ready, get Lulu—”

Behind Maxie, the front door opened again, and Maxie hurried out to the foyer, squealing when she saw Lulu. “You made it! You’re going to love the dresses I picked out!”

“Johnny said you’d take care of everything,” Lulu said, some of the usual sparkle in her eyes, but she moved a bit slower than normal. As if she were a step behind everything else.

“Lulu.” Kate’s eyes glistened. “I’m so glad you could join us.” She came across the room, squeezed the blonde’s hands. “Thank you for being here with me on this day.”

“Thank you for inviting me. I’m so glad to see you.”

Nikolas stepped up to Maxie, touched the side of his mouth with his index finger. “Stick to her like glue,” he warned the other woman. “And only let her out of your sight when Johnny gets here.”

“You’re actually trusting him with Lu?” Maxie asked. She lifted her brows. “Are you sure they got all of that tumor or are you crazy again?”

“Funny. Johnny has his marching orders. He screws up today, he’s cut off and he knows that. Same to you, Maxie. Anything happens to my sister today, I’m holding you both responsible.”

Maxie made a face. “But no pressure,” she called out to his disappearing back. “Good riddance,” she muttered when the door closed behind him. She pasted a bright smile on her face. “Okay, where do we start?”

Greystone: Living Room

It was just before noon when Jason finally made it out to Sonny’s. After a few minutes spent in the foyer with Max going over the schedule for the rest of the day, he headed into the living room where he was relieved to find Sonny drinking nothing harder than a glass of water, which was a bit of a relief.

“Hey. I didn’t expect to see you until the church,” Sonny said, setting the water on the desk. “Maxie come by to harass you, too?”

“Yeah, but you know, I don’t really pay attention to her.” Jason set down the folder with the floor plans for the church. “Father Coates agreed to the extra hour, so I thought I’d try to change your mind about checking in the invitations at the door—”

His friend shook his head. “I know all the reasons you’re worried about it, but the guest list is small. We’re doing a bigger party for Kate’s side in New York next month.” Sonny came forward, closed the folder. “Put it away. You’ve gone over everything a thousand times. You got your extra hour. You know, why don’t you go find Elizabeth? Spend a few hours with her—”

“She’s got her own list before we leave—”

“Yeah, but you could do that together. I mean, you don’t have to come to this, you know. I know you’re cutting it close with the boarding time.”

Jason squinted, looked at him. “What?”

“The wedding. You don’t have to come. It wouldn’t bother me. You don’t take a lot of time for yourself. Especially—” Sonny’s mouth tightened, and he picked up the water again. “Especially this year. When I dumped the business on you.”

“I agreed to it—”

“Because you thought I’d lost my edge. That I was reckless. Maybe you were right,” Sonny said when Jason didn’t deny it. “Maybe I just didn’t want it the same way I used to. The power, you know? I needed it. Needed to always be the one in charge, to run the room. It’s kind of nice, you know, not feeling that way anymore. Kate—you know—she reminds me of who I was before all that. Before my mother—” He looked away. “Before I got in too deep.”

“You ever regret it?” Jason asked. “Going to work for Joe Scully? Ending up here, going against Frank Smith?”

“Regret’s an interesting word. Do I ever wish I’d taken a different road? Finished school, learned a trade?” He considered it. “Could have gone into cooking. My mother wanted to get me a job in the kitchens at Carmine Cerullo’s restaurant.” Sonny sipped the water. “I think about that sometimes. Maybe I should have done that. But you know, my mother died. And I wanted to make sure Deke couldn’t get away with it. No, once I got into it, I didn’t regret it. I still don’t. That surprise you?”

“Maybe. After Michael—” Jason shook his head. “I don’t know. Sometimes I wish I’d never said yes when you wanted to do the coffee warehouse, take the territory back from Moreno.”

Sonny looked at him for a long moment. “You’re good at this. Clear-headed. Focused. It’s why I wanted you back. But now and again, I think about you not having your kid with you—and I feel the weight.” Sonny rolled his shoulders. “Anyway, all I meant was that I’m okay if you decide to skip out on this today. Go to the airport with Elizabeth. Go to Italy.” He paused. “Why Italy anyway?”

“I’ve wanted to take her there for a long time.” Jason picked up the folder. “I’ve made her a lot of promises I haven’t kept, but I’m keeping this one. I need to. But you’re still my best friend, and I want to be there today. Elizabeth—she understands. And as long as I’m at the gate on time, it’ll be fine. But thanks. I—I appreciate it.”

Crimson Pointe: Foyer

Claudia sauntered down the steps, trailing her fingers along the banister, then made her way into the main living room where she found her father perusing a newspaper and sipping his coffee.

“Good morning, Daddy,” she said, plucking a croissant from a basket on the table. She ripped off a piece. “How are the legs?”

“Still dead,” Anthony Zacchara muttered. “You gonna ask me that every day, Jezebel?”

“Oh, well, if you’re going to call me a whore every day, then—” she shrugged, tearing off another piece of the croissant. “Let me have my fun.”

“Shows how much you know. Jezebel was a traitor,” Anthony sneered. “You being a whore is just an added mark against your character.”

“You know, Daddy Dearest—” Claudia leaned forward, resting an elbow on the table. “I’m not sure you want to have a discussion about character. Aren’t you the one that drove one wife insane and murdered the other—”

Anthony hissed. “Don’t tempt me—”

“What are you gonna do, Daddy? Wheel really fast after me?” She just smiled when his scowl deepened in her direction. “You find a way to drag Johnny home by his hair or are we letting him off the hook?”

Anthony picked up his coffee. “And keep him away from the wedding of the century? Where’s the fun in that?”

“Please. That stick wouldn’t know how to plan anything worth attending. Johnny’s just going to spend his time trailing after that lunatic. You know, in hindsight, the first sign of mental instability should have been a grown woman using the name Lulu.”

Her father’s lips twitched, but he refused to let any sign of true amusement show. Claudia sighed. “Well, this is boring. I’m going to go find a small child to steal candy from.”

When she was gone, Anthony tossed the newspaper on the table, then rolled back.

He rose to his feet, stretched out his legs, wiggled his toes, then grinned. He danced a few steps.

Then he sat back in his chair and wheeled himself out of the room.

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall, everyone stands
Another day, and you’ve had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold  
– Move Along, All-American Rejects

---

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Johnny flipped the coffee cup right side up and plucked the plastic menu from beneath the white ceramic saucer to consider the brunch specials. He had some time to kill before heading back to the hotel, getting dressed, and picking up Lulu.

Should he do the waffles or the omelet? Still considering, he didn’t notice the blonde taking the next stool over, but he recognized the voice. He lifted his gaze from the menu to offer Nadine Crowell a grin. “Hey, I haven’t seen you since you were hauled off in cuffs.”

Nadine wrinkled her nose at the reminder at being held in contempt at his trial a few weeks earlier. “Glad one of us can laugh about it. I’m the one who ended up with a record.” She held out her cup when the waitress came over with the carafe of coffee, filling both their cups. She took both their orders. “Actually, I’m kind of glad I ran into you because I’ve been sitting with this for, like, over a day, and I hate it, but I didn’t know who to tell, and here you are, so—”

“Do you ever take a breath?” Johnny stirred sugar into his coffee, then slid the canister towards her.

“Oh, you’re in a good mood.” She sighed. “Man, I really know how to ruin someone’s day, you know?”

“I don’t, but I have a bad feeling I’m about to find out.”

“It’s what Nikolas told me the other day. I would have already done something, but he blocked me from going to see Lulu, and Maxie is, like, stupid busy with all of this wedding stuff. Plus, she really doesn’t like me because she found me hiding in Matt’s room—”

“I lost track of the conversation again. What does this have to do with Matt Hunter?”

“Nothing. Nothing.” Nadine blew out a breath. “Sorry, I tend to ramble and go off on tangents when I’m nervous or I have bad news — it’s always on all of my performance reviews—” She stopped. “I’m doing it again, I know, I know. Nikolas is negotiating with the DA’s office so Lu can make a deal.”

“Yeah, I know that—”

“The deal is putting Lu in a treatment facility in California,” Nadine interrupted, and Johnny closed his mouth. “He just told me, and, like, he’s planning to make it a permanent move. He’s going with her. They’re going to relocate their mother — it’s a whole thing.”

“What? No. No. She doesn’t need all of that — and as soon as Lu is better, she’s going to be able to tell her side of the story. She’s going to tell them what happened and how it was self-defense. That was the plan.” Johnny’s mouth was a thin, mutinous line. “He’s doing it to get her away from me.”

“I think so, yeah. That’s definitely an element in play. I told him that Lu was going to hate him when she got better, but Nikolas doesn’t care. He blocked me from visiting and telling her myself, but he forgets how determined I can be. I was going to track Elizabeth down before my shift, or I don’t know, tell Spinelli. But I needed to do something. Someone has to know that can stop this.”

Johnny dragged a hand down his face. “I hate this, I hate it. I can’t tell her this today. She’s been so happy, looking forward to the wedding. Being around her friends. I’m supposed to pick her up at Kate’s. They’re getting ready together. She’s going to be pissed that Nikolas is doing this. But I’m going to tell her tomorrow. Or after the reception. Something. I don’t know if we can stop it, but she deserves to know.”

“That’s what I thought, and you’ve got a direct line to Lu, so I’m glad I ran into you.”

“Yeah, that’s lucky—” Johnny paused, dug out the cell phone vibrating in his pocket and saw his sister’s name on the screen. “My sister,” he told Nadine before sending it to voicemail. “She’s a pain in the ass when I’m up here. Why couldn’t I have a normal sister?”

“Yeah, you might be the one person in the world who can actually win the competition for worst sister, or at least give mine a run for their money. Who do you think is worse, Claudia or Jolene, the Angel Without Mercy?”

Johnny winced. “I forgot—I forgot about your sister—”

“Then you’d be different from, like, ninety percent of Port Charles.” She smiled when the waitress returned with her bagged order, then took the last sip of her coffee. “That last name, you know. Infamous.”

“Yeah, I know all about that. Thanks for passing on the information about Lu. I’ll take care of it.”

“I hope you do. Have a good time at the wedding.”

Kelly’s: Courtyard

Elizabeth pulled into the parking lot just as Nadine slid into her car. They exchanged a wave, then Elizabeth headed towards the diner. She stopped short when she saw Carly coming from the opposite direction. “Carly,” Elizabeth said hesitantly, remembering Jason’s words from the other day.

“Surprised to see you here.” Carly lifted her brows. “I thought you had travel plans.” She smirked. “Oh, wait, I’m not supposed to know anything, right? Isn’t that how this works?”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and decided not to engage. She reached for the diner’s door, stopping when Carly’s next barb was launched. “I guess you weren’t invited to the wedding either, huh?”

Elizabeth turned to face the blonde. “”Did I do something to you? We just saw each other last week, and everything was fine. I mean, you literally walked in on me with Jason, and you were apologetic, offering to leave—”

“I was upset,” Carly snapped. “Obviously not in my right mind.”

“Not even going to touch that. I have things to do—” Once again, turning back to the door, Elizabeth pulled it open.

“Why are you acting like he’s your dirty little secret? Where do you get off making Jason beg for scraps with his son?”

Elizabeth let the door close, took a deep breath, counting to five, then turned back around. “He says the word, this all changes. You know that, don’t you?”

Carly pursed her lips. “You don’t really think you’re getting away with this, do you? You and Jason both disappearing for a week? I mean, how dumb do you think people are?”

“I think the people who are closest to us likely know everything. You do. Sonny does. People in my life do. The guards. I think maybe the only person who doesn’t know this isn’t a secret is Jason,” Elizabeth said, and Carly dropped her gaze to the ground. “I’m going to ask you again, Carly, what’s changed this week? You hate me again, and I just want to know if there’s a specific reason. If there’s something I actually have to apologize for.”

The other woman avoided the question again. “If everyone knows then what’s the point—”

“It took me time to get to this point again. I was scared. You know that, Carly. We were both in agreement on this very subject a few months ago.” Elizabeth sighed. “But Jason is the point. This is where he’s comfortable, and I think I owe him the time and space to work through it, too. You’ve both been through hell, Carly, and I don’t pretend to know what that’s like. All I’m doing is trying to be what Jason needs me to be. He’s lost so many people—”

“Michael’s not dead, okay? Don’t act like he is—” Carly closed her mouth, her voice trembling on the final words. She folded her arms. “It’s none of your business why you bother me,” she finally muttered. “But you do. And that’s just how it is.”

Elizabeth figured that was the best she was going to be able to get and nodded. “All right, then. Have it your way.”

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

Patrick put the phone in the crook of his shoulder and rubbed his brow with his free hand. “They’re denying the maintenance request again? Damn it. No, no, it’s not—it’s not your fault. Just put that with all the others, and I’ll be by later.” He caught Epiphany’s eye as the nurse passed the counter, gestured for her to wait. “Yeah, thanks.”

“Do you need something?” she asked. “Because I’m busy—”

“The board—”

“Anytime you start with those words, it always ends in misery for me,” the nurse interrupted. “Let me guess. We have to make do with the equipment we got—”

“Apparently, whatever measures you put in place to minimize mistakes—” Patrick grimaced, glared at the phone. “You did it too well. They think there’s no point in spending money when we can make the adjustments for free.”

“Oh, so my nurses have to keep putting in the orders three times until that machine gives them what they asked for? What’s gonna happen when one of our overworked, exhausted employees gets a pill that looks exactly like the one they requested—and it’s OxyContin, not acetaminophen?” Epiphany demanded. “You know a lot of our older veterans took the retirement buyout. I don’t have the time or money to train my staff, and it’s not like I’ve got student nurses filling in the gaps since they closed the damn program—”

“I know, I told them that in the request — but they’re just interested in the bottom line. Look, I’ll get together some information on the most common mix-ups. I’ll hold the training myself—”

“And when are you going to find time to do that?” Epiphany wanted to know, fisting a hand on her hip. “You got meetings, paperwork, that baby will be here before you know it—”

“Damn it.” Patrick winced. “I’m supposed to meet Robin down at Kelly’s office in five minutes for another check-up.” He dragged his hands down his face. “I’m doing everything I can, Epiphany. But short of finding about three million dollars a year in permanent funding that is earmarked for staff and equipment, I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“Even if we got that money, that board would just find a way to pocket it. Bunch of crooks no better than the last. Sooner or later, someone is going to get seriously hurt.” But her expression softened. “I know you’re doing your best. This isn’t on you. You’re just—you’re the guy who has to deliver the message, and it sucks.”

“If I quit and go back to my patients—” Patrick looked away, sighed. “They’d just bring in another Ford to do it. I can’t do that again, you know? I’m picking up a shift in the ER tonight just so I can feel like a doctor again. To remember why I’m dealing with this crap at all.”

“I’ll put together some notes, get an informal survey from my people — what’s the most common problem we’re having with the machines,” Epiphany said. “Neither one of us has the time to do this separately, but we’ll figure it out. You’re not on your own in this, Drake Junior. Don’t forget that.”

Coffee House: Office

“I talked to Frankie down on the Rochester docks,” Cody said, closing the door and crossing the room to set some paperwork in front of Jason. “You were right. After that little meeting last week, Karpov contacted him. He’s their problem now.”

“Maybe,” Jason said, scribbling his name at the bottom of another contract. “But I think he went away too quietly.”

“I don’t know if three months of constant harassment is quiet, but you made it clear. You weren’t going to do business with him, and Sonny wasn’t interested in getting involved. ”

“Maybe I’m too used to the warehouse being blown up to make the point.”

“Maybe. Or maybe the word is finally getting out that you’re not in the business for new clients.” Cody lifted his brows. “Isn’t that what we’ve been working towards the last few months? We only have a few more shipments, and then—”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Jason leaned back, exhaled slowly. “But if it was common knowledge, don’t you think Karpov would have said something to Sonny?”

“You mean when he was trying to get Sonny back in the business? Maybe Karpov doesn’t realize why you turned him down, but your regular guys do.” Cody paused. “You planning on telling Sonny?”

“I was waiting until it was done. Until after the wedding.” Jason got to his feet. “He worked hard to get to this level— he’s going to be pissed that I’m closing it down.”

“It’s not like you’ll be out of the business all the way,” Cody pointed out. “You’ve got the clubs, the gambling—”

“That won’t matter to him. He never could understand how someone wouldn’t want the power. But it’s never brought us anything but headaches. As soon as Sonny got into the South American trade—” Jason grimaced. “It never ended. Someone always wanted these routes and didn’t care how much damage they had to do to get it.” He turned back to Cody. “I’m not having second thoughts. Another couple of months, this will be done.” And just maybe he could finally have a life with Elizabeth and the boys.

As if she knew he was thinking about her, his phone on the desk lit up, her name on the screen.

“Hey. Everything okay?” Jason turned away from Cody, lowering his voice slightly.

“It’s fine,” she said. “I was just wondering if you had maybe twenty minutes. I grabbed some lunch at Kelly’s, and I thought—I just wanted to see you before the airport. Maybe you haven’t eaten yet?”

Even if he didn’t have the time, he would have said yes. “Yeah, come by the coffee house. I’m in the back.”

“Great. I’m already in the parking lot.” He could hear the smile in her voice, and his own lips curved. “I’ll be right in.”

When Jason ended the call and turned back to Cody, he said, “Elizabeth is on her way here—”

“I figured,” his enforcer said, dryly. “You tell her what you’re planning?”

“Not yet. I wanted to—” He hesitated. “I wanted to be sure.” He’d already broken so many promises to her — if he couldn’t get it done, then he wouldn’t have to let her down. They were so close now — just a few more weeks, maybe months, and he’d be partially free. It was part of the reason he’d stopped pushing her away, why he wanted to take her to Italy. Jason needed her to know how much he loved her, how much he wanted to be with her.

“All right. I’ll leave you guys alone, but we need to head over to the church in about an hour—” Cody stopped at the knock on the door and tugged it open. “Hey, Miss Webber.”

“Hey, Cody.” Elizabeth came in, a brown bag in her hands. “I’m not interrupting anything?”

“Wouldn’t matter if you were,” Cody said, slipping past her. “But I was on my way out. I’ll see you at the church,” he told Jason.

Elizabeth winced when the door was closed. “I’m interrupting—”

“Never,” Jason said. He tugged her towards him, tipping her head back for a kiss. “We were done.”

“I really didn’t want to bother you—”

“You’re not,” he interrupted, almost impatiently, and she looked away. He hated that — hated that he’d made her feel like every minute he spent with her was one stolen from something else more important. “I’m sorry. I just—I would tell you if I didn’t have the time.”

“Okay. I just…I guess I wanted to see you before the airport. I’m going home to finish packing.” The smile bloomed on her face now. “Five more hours and we’ll be boarding our flight to Italy, and then I’ll have you all to myself.”

“Nowhere else I’d rather be.” He cupped her jaw, kissed her again. “The ceremony is supposed to be over a quarter after five. Sonny knows I’m leaving as soon as it is. Twenty minutes to the airport. Ten minutes through security—I know I’m cutting it close.”

“It’s okay. I’m jealous of you getting to skip that long line,” Elizabeth said with a wrinkle. She slid her fingers down his chest. “No frisking, searching your bag.”

“Sorry I didn’t know anyone at the TSA to bribe to get you on the list, too,” he said, and she grinned. “I’ll work on that.”

“Or, like you said…we’ll travel more, and I’ll get pre-clearance legitimately.”

“Sonny—” Jason hesitated. “He told me I didn’t have to go. To the wedding. He knows we’re leaving tonight, but—”

“But if something happened and you weren’t there, you’d never forgive yourself. It’s okay. I know.” She kissed him one more time. “And he’s your best friend. You should be there.”

And she should be sitting next to him, Jason thought, but that couldn’t happen. Not yet. “As soon as they say their vows, I’m out the side door,” he promised. “Cody will take over from there.”

“See? You’ve thought of everything. Tomorrow, we’ll wake up in Venice, and everything will be perfect.” Elizabeth bit her lip, her eyes sparkling. “Just like we always dreamed it would be.”

Crimson Pointe: Study

“This cheap son of a bitch—he thinks he’s going to cut off my credit cards—” Claudia shoved the door open, her heels clicking against the hard wood. “You’ve got a lot of nerve—”

She stopped, then scanned the empty room. “Daddy?” she called. She walked over to the terrace, scanned the view of the garden from her perspective. Nothing.

She left the room, went down the hallway towards the kitchen, then went in the other direction towards the living room.

No Anthony Zacchara in sight.

Claudia stopped, pursed her lips. “Well, that can’t be good.”

I look ahead to all the plans that we made
And the dreams that we had
I’m in a world that tries to take ’em away
Oh, but I’m taking ’em back
All this time I’ve just been to blind to understand
What should matter to me
My friend, this life we live
Is not what we have, it’s what we believe
– It’s Not My Time, 3 Doors Down

---

Saturday, September 27, 2008

St. Timothy’s Church: Anteroom

Sonny, clad in a black tuxedo and gray vest, shook his head. “I don’t need another security check,” he said. “We need to get to our seats before Maxie over there—” he gestured towards the blonde who held a clipboard and wore a headset. “Sets us on fire—

Jason nodded. “I know, but—” he began. “There’s nothing wrong with taking another five minutes—”

“Jase.” Sonny turned to him. “Do you have any doubts that your guys are up to the job?”

“No—”

“Then let’s get this show on the road.” Sonny clapped a hand on Jason’s shoulder. “And hey, don’t you have a plane to catch? Every minute we spend out here is another minute you’re in traffic.”

Jason nodded, reluctantly. They were still on schedule, even a few minutes early, but Sonny had a point. There hadn’t been a single hint of trouble. “All right. I’ll see you in there.” He left Sonny in the anteroom and went through the double doors leading into the chapel proper.

Jason took his seat in the front pew, next to Bobbie. She smiled at him, the expression tinged with a touch of sadness that he felt himself. Another moment that Michael should be here for — and instead he was lying in a coma from which he would never wake.

The tightness in his chest only increased as Jason remembered where he’d been when he’d received the call. Standing in his penthouse, looking into Elizabeth’s eyes, filled with happiness that he was finally going to have her with him — that the whole world would know that he loved her and the boys—he’d get to have his son and Cameron—

He’d promised her he wouldn’t take it back. How many promises had he broken to her over the years? How many more opportunities would she give him to be part of her life before she walked away for good? No, Sonny was right. The sooner they got the wedding started, the sooner he’d be with her.

He glanced at the clock on his phone, saw the notification from Elizabeth. She’d checked in her luggage and was heading to security. She’d see him at the gate.

Jason glanced at Bobbie again who squeezed his hand, then he faced forward, looked at the altar. Sonny was the one getting married. He’d lost Michael, but his life was still moving forward. He still had his son, his daughter. He would have a wife, soon.

Jason had been prepared to only have those things in secret, until Michael. Until he’d realized what he’d given up. Only when he’d truly accepted that the only way he’d ever have a life of his own, be a father again, was if he made changes — he just wished he could have done it years ago. Maybe Michael would still be here. Maybe his son would know him—

He glanced at his phone again, wishing it was over so he could be on his way to the airport, so he could be with Elizabeth and not worry about who was watching.

St. Timothy’s Church: Bridal Suite

“You can’t really be serious!”

Maxie grimaced when she slipped inside the room just as Olivia Falconieri’s thick Brooklyn accent hit her ears. “We have three minutes before we need to start the processional,” she warned the cousins. “Or we’ll be off schedule—”

“I’m not having this argument with you again,” Kate said, heading towards the table where their flowers had been set up. She snatched up her bouquet. “I told you, I legally changed my name. Did you think I’d get married as Constanza Louise? Really?”

“I thought you’d have some decency—”

“I am Katherine Hardwicke Howard. That is my legal name, and it’s a name I’ve worked very hard to establish,” Kate snapped. “And if you don’t like it, I’m sure Maxie will step in as my maid of honor.”

Olivia sent Maxie a dirty look, then scowled back at Kate. “Still turning your back on your whole family. I can’t believe Sonny is okay with this—”

“Time out—” Maxie said, her heart pounding as she slid between the furious women. “You can have this argument later, okay? Please. I’m begging you. We spent a lot of time setting this up,” she reminded Kate, who nodded. Maxie picked up Olivia’s bouquet and held it out. “Please. I don’t want to be the maid of honor, okay? That’s you. You’re family. I—I had a sister a-and I lost her, and I would do anything to argue with her one more time. So just take these, walk down the aisle, and be grateful that you’re both still alive to yell at each other.”

Olivia took the flowers, some of the fury fading from her dark eyes. “I’m sorry about your sister. Let’s get this show on the road.” She headed for the door.

Thank God. Maxie breathed a sigh of relief, sent a silent apology to Georgie that she’d used her that way, and turned to Kate. “Time to get married. You ready?”

Kate lifted her bouquet. “Lead the way.”

General Hospital: Emergency Room

Nadine stepped behind the counter and started to dig through the charts of patients waiting to be seen. Since the clinic had burned down earlier that month, the ER was seeing all minor illnesses and injuries again, and with Nikolas heading to California, she had a feeling that wasn’t going to change any time soon.

Unless Nikolas wanted to fund a memorial clinic in the city he was running from.

“What’s up next?” Patrick asked, winding his stethoscope around his neck. “I just cleared two stitches, a broken ankle, and our first hypochondriac of the night.”

“The tuberculosis patient?” Nadine asked, absently, glancing through the patients who’d been checked in. “The one with a light cough?”

“No, the one who thought she had smallpox. It was a rash,” Patrick said blandly. “So I guess we already have two.”

“The internet was a mistake. Everyone comes in with a diagnosis ready, and they think they’re dying.” Nadine stopped, then looked at him. “Wait. Why are you here? You’re—”

“A doctor who, despite hating people, needs to remember why I’m doing this in the first place. I picked up a shift. One of the benefits of being chief is being able to do whatever the hell I want.” He exhaled on a rush of air. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bite your head off.”

“No, it’s fine. I just meant—you didn’t look to see who else was working tonight, did you?”

Patrick closed his eyes, bowed his head for a moment, then lifted his gaze back to hers. “I’d like one thing to go right tonight. Just one.”

“If it makes you feel better, he hates me more than he hates you,” Nadine offered. “I broke into his room and accused him of stealing drugs from the clinic.”

“I don’t care if he hates me,” Patrick muttered, yanking a chart from the pile. “I don’t think about him at all.” He whirled around only to come face to face with the man in question. “Dr. Hunter.”

“Dr. Drake,” Matt Hunter bit out. “Coming down from your lofty office to mix with the peasants?”

“That’s right,” Patrick snarled. “So get out of my way and let me work.”

“No problem.” Matt stepped to one side and Patrick stormed off in the other direction. “Asshole.”

“I don’t understand why you guys hate each other,” Nadine remarked when Matt approached to switch out charts. “Neither of you knew the other existed. It’s your dad who sucks—”

“That man isn’t my father,” Matt cut in sharply, his eyes flashing. “And no one asked you.”

“Well, if I wait to be asked, no one ever gets to hear what I have to say,” Nadine said, but Matt just stomped off. “This is going to be a fun night.”

Port Charles Airport: Security Line

Elizabeth looked at her phone — Jason hadn’t replied to her last text which made sense, she thought. The ceremony was due to begin any minute now. In less than a half hour, Jason would be on his way to the airport, and then they’d be boarding. He wanted this trip as much as she did, Elizabeth could believe that now.

And once they were in the air, she’d have the time to tell him about that awful conversation with Lucky — the threats she’d made about what she’d do if Sam was involved with the boys at all once they were in California. She’d meant every word, too. If Sam was in the picture, Elizabeth would never put her boys on a plane or let Lucky take them.

Which meant the boys would probably never see Lucky again. It hurt, but not as much as it might have before. If she and Jason were on the road to being together in public — and Elizabeth really thought they might be — then Jason would be there. And Cameron and Jake wouldn’t even have the chance to miss Lucky—they’d barely notice anything had changed—they’d finally be a family.

She took a deep breath, moved forward as the line did. She just had to have a little patience. They’d meet in secret again for a while. And maybe around the holidays, when things were quiet, Jason would change his mind.

And if he didn’t—

Well, she was going to Italy. He’d offered her Italy once before, holding out his hand to her, and she’d rejected it. She’d had chance after chance to have all of Jason, and she’d pushed him away. She’d asked him to keep quiet about Jake’s paternity. She’d made all the wrong choices two years ago. From now on, she was going to focus on making sure Jason knew that he was the only choice she wanted to make.

St. Timothy’s Church: Chapel

The music swelled, and Jason—along with everyone else in attendance—rose to their feet as the wedding march began to play. Kate, standing at the end of the long aisle in her pristine white gown, radiating joy and happiness as she slowly walked towards Sonny.

If he hadn’t backed out of their engagement six months ago, that could have been Elizabeth, Jason thought. Or they would have been married already. He wouldn’t have wanted a long engagement. They’d waited long enough. She’d wear a dress that made her happy, even though she always looked beautiful to him. And she’d have walked towards him—

He shook himself out of the thought — it did no good to think about things that hadn’t happened. He watched as Kate walked down the aisle, drawing closer. She passed the front pew and stopped at the altar — Sonny was supposed to take her hand, and then they’d walk up a few steps to Father Coates at the top.

Sonny took a step—and then Kate gasped, the sound barely registering above the music—but Jason saw her jerk—and then—

A bright red stain appeared on the back of her dress, spreading quickly, soaking the fabric. The flowers dropped as Kate crumpled to the ground. The screams started, and Jason was on his feet, shoving Bobbie down with one hand and twisting to face the back of the chapel—

People began to flee, the screams grew louder, and someone fell—there was trampling — the church had exploded into chaos.

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you’ve followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he’ll say he’s just not the same
And you’ll begin to wonder why you came
– How to Save a Life, The Fray

---

Saturday, September 27, 2008

St. Timothy’s Church: Chapel

He never heard a gunshot.

Jason faced the back of the church, his gun in one hand, and the other on Bobbie’s shoulder, but the older woman was already shrugging him off and crawling towards the center aisle where Sonny had taken Kate into his arms, begging her to stay with him, to keep her eyes open — blood soaked the delicate fabric of her white gown, but her eyes remained open, pained and strained.

Others in the wedding were screaming—the chapel was rapidly emptying — the sounds of footsteps thundering — there was more screaming when the double doors at the back of the church were blocked — too many people trying to flee to fit at once.

Bobbie broke away from Jason’s hold and crawled towards Kate. Maxie was on her hands and knees wailing, Spinelli holding and rocking her.

Cody strode towards him, gun in his hand.

“What do we know?” Jason demanded. He grabbed Cody by the lapels of his jacket. “What happened?”

“Hard to say — no one came through the anteroom,” Cody said, “but they could have tried to blend in with the crowd—nothing causes a stampede faster than gunfire in a church.”

Jason grimaced, then holstered his gun. “Cops will be on the scene soon,” he said flatly. “Clear our guys as fast as you can. I don’t want any of them held up at the PCPD—” He turned towards the scene at the front of the chapel, concerned.

Kate was still holding on, panting, sweat breaking out on her brow. “Oh, God, it hurts—”

“Just hold on, Connie,” her cousin begged. “Hold on, baby. Help is coming. They’re coming. Hold on!”

Port Charles Airport: First Class Lounge

Elizabeth checked her watch, chewed her bottom lip. It was nearly five. The ceremony wouldn’t be long, Jason had said. Sonny was Catholic, but it wouldn’t be a full Mass because Kate didn’t practice. It should be just about done.

She pulled out her cell, checked the messages. He’d never said he’d call once he was on his way, but now she wished she’d asked him to. Despite all his promises, despite believing them, Elizabeth couldn’t shake her nerves or the conviction that something was wrong.

But she had nothing to support that feeling, and Jason wasn’t even late yet. So, Elizabeth tucked the phone in the bag, and found her dog-eared tourist guide to Italy, one she’d bought a long time ago and had highlighted nearly every line.

Only an hour from now, they’d start boarding, and Jason would be there.

Crimson Pointe: Terrace

Ric strode in from the study, the slam of the door jarring Claudia who’d been doing another sweep of the garden searching for her father.

“Where is he?”

She climbed the last few steps onto the terrace, arched one brow. “Problem, Ricky? Maybe if—”

“I don’t have time for that right now. There was a shooting at the wedding,” Ric snapped, and Claudia fell silent. “Kate Howard was shot as she walked down the aisle. And your father? Nowhere to be found.”

Claudia looked out over the garden, then back at the house. Then at Ric, knowing his thoughts were identical to hers.

“Johnny’s at the wedding,” she said, some of her characteristic arrogance gone. “He wouldn’t—he knows Johnny would be blamed. He knows—” She lifted her fingers to her lips, fought the shudder that rippled down her spine.

What the hell had her father done?

St. Timothy’s Church: Chapel

At first, Johnny hadn’t realized anything was wrong. Kate had passed by them, shining in her ethereal beauty. Lulu beamed at him, squeezing his hand. “Look how pretty,” she’d sighed. “So happy.”

Then everything had gone mad — Kate had stopped at the end of the aisle—she’d jerked—and then blood had begun to spread from her lower back, rapidly staining her elegant white gown as the music of “Ave Maria” had swelled around them, offering a stark contrast to the happiness of the moment —

Kate’s knees had buckled — and then the screaming had started. Spinelli had sprang forward, fighting through the stampede of guests rushing in the opposite direction, desperate to get to Maxie. Lulu had tried to follow. She’d fought Johnny to get past him, trying to get up the aisle, crying, screaming—

But even if Johnny had wanted to follow in Spinelli’s wake, the stampede had only thickened, and Johnny had dragged Lulu against him, his fingers digging into her upper arm, yanking her out of the way of terrified wedding guests —

She’d continued to scream, burying her face into his chest — then someone had bumped him, and he’d gone flying, sending them both sprawling to the ground, trapped between the pews. Johnny couldn’t get his legs to move, to pull himself up, to get Lulu to safety — guests crowded the double doors, banging, screaming, pushing —

And beneath him, Lulu continued to sob, shielding her face from all the sounds, from the horror—

Johnny thought it was the worst sound he’d heard in his whole life — the mixture of the wails from the guests, the yelling of security guards, and Lulu’s sobs —

But no. It wasn’t.

It was the quiet. The stillness that followed when the chapel had emptied, and he realized Lulu had stopped screaming. She’d curled up on her side, her eyes staring blankly at the wooden pew in front her, her cheek resting against the stone floor of the chapel.

Johnny sat up on his knees, reaching for Lulu — she rose with him — but the movements were sluggish, almost as if she were underwater, trying to swim.

“Lu? Lu?” He shook her shoulder lightly, then cupped her face but Lulu was just staring into nothing. She’d drifted away from him, her eyes empty, unfocused —

Johnny looked towards the front of the chapel. Only the wedding party remained — Kate laying on her back in Sonny’s arms, Jason talking intently to one of his guys — Maxie was crying, with Spinelli holding her.

Johnny took a deep breath. He needed to handle this. He had to take care of Lulu himself. “Okay. Okay. We’re going to the hospital, okay?” he told her. “They’ll bring you back to me. Come on.”

---

Jason left the chapel and headed to the front of the church, to the anteroom that separated the entrance from the chapel proper, determined to search the second floor of the church, particularly the vestibule that looked over the chapel. The shot had come from behind, but his guys had been at the entrance. Had someone slipped in with the guests just as they feared? Had they found a space to hide Jason didn’t know about?

He stopped at the double doors, furrowing his brow at the small space, considering the approach to the second floor.

The wail of the ambulance siren drew closer — mixed with the police — they couldn’t be far away. Jason needed to get upstairs, to see what was going on before he was shut out of the whole thing altogether—

But he hadn’t correctly estimated exactly where the police were — because he’d taken no more than two steps towards the stairs when the front entrance to the church was thrown open, and a collection of uniforms piled through it —

Jason grunted as David Harper, a detective with Major Crimes, grabbed him by the arm and threw him against the wall. “What the hell is going on?” Harper demanded, frisking Jason and finding the gun tucked into the holster at his back. “You got a permit for this?”

“Lawyer,” Jason said flatly.

“Yeah, yeah, I know the drill.” Harper pulled out a cell phone next, tugging it from the pocket of Jason’s tuxedo. “You’re missing a call right now,” he said with a smirk. “Oh, and you’ve got some texts.” He flashed the screen at Jason, whose heart sank. Harper wouldn’t be able to see who was calling him—the notification screen wasn’t set to show the identity, but Jason knew better. It was after five. Elizabeth was calling. He was supposed to be leaving for the airport right now — she was waiting for him in first class.

And he was about to be arrested which meant he wouldn’t be able to call her before they started boarding. She’d probably get on the flight and be in the air before he was released. His stomach twisted at the thought, and he didn’t even wince when Harper slapped a pair of cuffs on him and hauled him towards the entrance of the church.

She wouldn’t even know for hours what had happened. All she would know was that he’d broken his promise.

Again.

Port Charles Airport: First Class Lounge

Elizabeth exhaled slowly as the clock on the far side of the wall crawled towards six when boarding was scheduled to begin.  She’d known Jason would be cutting it close, but he traveled more than she did, so Elizabeth hadn’t argued with his plan. But now she thought of all the snags that could have held him up. What if he’d been caught in traffic or in security—

She checked her phone again — but there still wasn’t a reply to her last text — and she saw now from the receipt that it hadn’t even been read yet. Okay, maybe he couldn’t text her, but could he answer the phone? He hadn’t when she’d called at him at five-thirty—

She closed her eyes, bringing the phone to her ear. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Four. Five — and the automatic transfer to a voicemail. This time, she left a message. “Hey. Uh, it’s me. Just…getting nervous, I guess. And a little worried,” she continued with a wince. “Will they still let you through security if you get here after boarding starts? Just…call me, okay?”

Elizabeth put the phone back in her bag and shoved herself to her feet to pace the small width of the room, drawing the attention of a few first class passengers. She flashed a polite smile, then went to the large window that overlooked the runways.

Port Charles Police Department: Interrogation Room

Jason dragged his hands through his hands through his hair, glaring at the clock in the squad room, visible through the window next to the door. A few minutes to six. They’d be boarding soon. If Elizabeth got on the plane—

“I need to make a call,” he said to Mac Scorpio, breaking into the argument between the commissioner and his attorney. “Diane, I need—”

“Your lawyer is already here,” Mac said, blandly. “You answer some questions, maybe then—”

Jason hissed. If she got on the plane — if she flew to Italy alone — Damn it. He curled his hands in a fist by his side. “Diane, then you need to make the call—”

“I’m a little busy trying to get you released,” Diane retorted. “Or maybe you want to spend the night in lock up. Shut up, let me work, and you can do whatever you want when you’re out of here.”

“Tell me who you need to call so much,” Mac suggested. “Wanna check on your guys? They’re all here. Cody Paul. Spinelli — we scooped him up when he tried to go to the hospital with Maxie — ”

“They don’t know anything—there’s nothing to know—” Jason closed his mouth when Diane sent a fulminating glare. He just needed to close his mouth and let his lawyer do her job.

And hope like hell Elizabeth would forgive him when he didn’t show up at the airport.

Port Charles Airport: Gate

“Flight LH1068 from Port Charles, New York to Venice Italy, now boarding first class.”

Elizabeth glanced at her watch, though she knew the time inside and out after nearly an hour of staring at it. Six-ten. Jason wasn’t here. He hadn’t returned a phone call. She had a choice to make. Did she get on the flight, hoping that Jason was rushing towards her — that he was so focused on getting to the flight that he didn’t want to waste time by calling her —

She gripped the handle of her carry-on, watching the flight attendant collect boarding passes from the first class passengers, then looked down at hers.

Jason was coming, wasn’t he? If something terrible had happened, wouldn’t he have called? Or—or someone would have. Someone knew where he was supposed to be going.

She chewed her lip, took a step forward, then stopped.

There’d been another wedding day, Elizabeth thought. The first time she’d ever seen Jason Morgan.

Brenda Barrett had been so sure Sonny would show up she’d walked down the aisle first and had waited for him. The doors had opened, and she’d turned, her smile blinding, so certain she’d see Sonny walking over the threshold.

Only to come crashing down.

“Last call for Flight LH1068, Port Charles, New York to Venice, Italy, first class.”

PCPD: Lock-Up

Jason paced the confines of the small cell, ready to come out of his skin. He’d been shoved back here while Diane had gone to war with Mac, threatening all manners of lawsuits — he no longer had access to a clock, but he knew that six o’clock had come and gone — had she boarded the plane? Was she now waiting for him, trapped on the plane? Once you got on, you couldn’t get off without making a scene —

He heard the click of heels and lunged at the bars, clenching his jaw as Diane strode out of the shadows with a uniform behind her. “Am I getting out of here?” Because if he wasn’t, he’d have to tell Diane to make the call, and somehow that felt worse than doing it himself — sending his lawyer to do his dirty work —

“Yes—” Diane gestured at the officer. “Let’s go. Chop chop, little boy.”

“You know, Ms. Miller,” the uniform said with some irritation, “that’s not helping.”

He slid the jail cell door back and Jason stepped out, his hand already extended.  “Where’s my phone? Never mind,” he snapped before the redhead could answer. “Give me yours.”

“Thank you, Diane, my only hope—” Diane began, but something in his face must have finally communicated just how furious Jason really was. “All right, fine.” She slapped it in his hand. “Just looking for a little gratitude, you know—”

Jason had stopped listening, his stomach dropping when he realized how much time had passed since he’d last seen the time. Seven-ten. The flight had been scheduled to leave ten minutes ago. Damn it.

He punched in her number anyway and listened to it ring.

Port Charles Airport: Gate

Elizabeth watched as the Lufthansa plane backed away from the gate, the flight tunnel already tucked away. It slowly taxied towards a runway and out of sight. There went her trip to Italy.

And her luggage.

Her phone rang, and she glanced down — found Diane’s number on the identification screen. Elizabeth frowned, answered. “Diane?”

“Elizabeth.” Jason’s voice sounded relieved. “You didn’t board?”

“No.” She sighed again, looked towards the runway though the flight had long since departed. “No.” Not once she’d remembered that terrible day when Brenda had pinned all her hopes and dreams on Sonny showing up and been humiliated.

Elizabeth had been humiliated enough for a lifetime. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m sorry. There—there was a shooting—”

Elizabeth listened as he told her about Kate Howard and how he’d been brought in for questioning. It was a tragedy, of course, and she thought she said all the right things. Sure, she understood. Things happened. Life was unpredictable—

But if she’d been there with him — if she’d been at the church, she wouldn’t be standing here alone at the gate, a boarding pass for Italy in her hands, and the sympathetic eyes of a flight attendant still at the desk.

She promised to talk to him later, though who knew when he’d find time for that. At least he’d remembered to call her at all, Elizabeth thought, sliding the phone back in her pocket. She forced a smile on her face and approached the desk.

“Hey. Hi. What’s the process for getting my luggage back from Italy?”

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won’t sing for you
‘Cause all that’s left has gone away
And there’s nothing there for you to prove
Oh, look what you’ve done
You’ve made a fool of everyone
Oh, well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won
– Look What You’ve Done, Jet

---

Saturday, September 27, 2008

PCPD: Lock-Up

Jason stared at the cell phone even after Elizabeth’s end of the call had disconnected. There was something in the tone of her voice, something that wasn’t quite right. She hadn’t been angry — she’d understood. And yet—

“Elizabeth? That’s who you needed to call? Well, I could have done that,” Diane said, with a roll of her eyes.  Jason returned the phone and kept his mouth shut. He needed to focus, clear things that absolutely had to be done so that he could check in with Elizabeth and make sure everything was okay.

“Where’s Sonny?”

“Well, that was the other reason I was coming to get you personally.” Diane made a face. “He, uh, was already released, and has left the building, furious. I—” She hissed as Jason took off, sprinting out of the lock-up area and towards the front desk.

He needed his wallet, his keys, his phone — and damn it, were they going to return his gun tonight or would he need to turn Diane loose? Who the hell had infiltrated the church—

And who would Sonny blame? Would he assume it was the Russians? Jason hadn’t told him that Andrei Karpov had seemingly moved on to connections in Rochester. He’d been a thorn in their side for a few months, and had targeted Spinelli but what was the connection to Kate? He’d wanted Sonny to turn on Jason, but shooting his fiancée was a hell of a way to force Sonny’s hand when it looked like Karpov was getting what he wanted somewhere else. Why would Karpov go to the trouble?

But if it wasn’t the Russians, that left the Zaccharas—Jason scowled. Anthony was still in a wheelchair, but Johnny had been the center of all Sonny’s paranoia six months earlier. Sonny had extended an invitation to Johnny as Lulu’s guest to show that all was well between them now, but all Sonny would remember was the access the mafia heir had had to the church.

Damn it, if Sonny went after Johnny Zacchara before Jason could stop him — Anthony Zacchara or his psychotic daughter wouldn’t care who they hurt in retribution.

Jason glared at the uniform behind the desk. “I need my personal effects. Now.”

Downtown Port Charles

The traffic light at the next intersection flipped from yellow to red, and the three cars in front of Elizabeth’s Honda Civic slowed to a stop. She made a face, then picked up the phone she had tossed on the passenger side. She had a missed call from Patrick and another from Lucky. But Jason hadn’t called back. Not that she expected him to. She could only imagine what he was dealing with right now. A shooting at the wedding would have fulfilled his worst fears.

Elizabeth leaned back in her seat with one hand on the wheel, staring at the traffic light, waiting for it to turn green.

She’d meant what she said to Carly that morning. Jason seemed to be the only one under the impression that their relationship was a secret — plenty of people hadn’t believed Elizabeth’s trial testimony. She’d felt like Jason had been slowly coming back around to where they’d been in April.

But Kate’s shooting would probably quash any hope of returning to where they’d been in April. At least not before she or Jason qualified for a nursing home.

And how terrible was Elizabeth that her first thought was how all of this would affect her? Kate was fighting for her life, Sonny and those who loved her would be devastated, Jason was probably stressed, and all Elizabeth could think about was her romantic life?

She suddenly understood how Carly’s mind worked, and the comparison didn’t make her feel particularly good about herself. She took a deep breath. She’d head to the hospital where they were always short-handed, and she’d be able to do good there. Jason would need her there, and it would be simple to get herself assigned to Kate’s case.

The light turned green, and Elizabeth eased her foot off the brake as the cars in front of her moved.

The phone rang just as she entered the intersection, and she reached out with one hand, blindly trying to find it, not taking her eyes off the road.

She heard the blaring of a horn just a second before a horrifying slam and screech—her car spun, turning it back into oncoming traffic—Elizabeth saw a car heading straight for her—

She screamed and then her car was flying through the air, flipping twice in front of horrified onlookers, and everything went black.

General Hospital: Emergency Room

The ER was a chaotic mess with doctors and nurses and all kinds of people dressed in scrubs and lab coats rushing back and forth, and no one—no one—would stop and tell Maxie what the hell was going on.

She spied a familiar head of dark hair and breathed a short sigh of relief, dashing over, nearly stumbling in her stilettos and falling into Johnny who was glaring at the back of a lab coat striding away. “Johnny! You have to tell me what’s going on! Where’s Lulu?”

“They won’t tell me! I’m the one that brought her in, but—” He dragged his hands through his hair, blew out a short breath. “Damn it. Damn it. What the hell happened? Where’s Spinelli?”

“They took him to the station. I don’t know why! He won’t know anything, he never does, that’s not what he does—” Her voice was rising, pitched almost to hysterical peak. “And Olivia won’t tell me anything about Kate—I don’t know even know if she’s alive—” She curled her fingers in the lapels of Johnny’s tux. “And Lulu, oh my God, she looked so empty—” Hot tears spilled down her cheeks. “What if Kate dies and Lu never comes back? What are we going to do? I don’t know what to do!” The final word came out on a wail, and Johnny swore, put an arm around Maxie’s shoulders, and led her towards a bench by the wall.

“Who do we know that can tell us something?” Johnny said. “What about Matt? That guy who’s got a room with your stepdad?”

Maxie sucked in a shuddering breath, then her blue eyes sharpened. Focused. “Right. Right. A-nd Nadine. They work here! You go find her, and I’ll find Matt, okay? And you find out something, you tell me. I have to know.”

“Same to you.”

They split up, both reassured with a task to achieve. Locate a friendly face at the hospital and gather all available information. Maxie could always focus when she had something to do.

And if Lulu thought she was going to disappear inside of herself, well, she had another damn thing coming. Maxie would just reach inside somehow and make her come back to them.

General Hospital: Emergency Room

Nadine shoved a strand of hair behind her ear, then reached for the phone. “Paging Dr. Patrick Drake. Dr. Patrick Drake. To the ER.”

“What’s coming in?” Epiphany wanted to know, bustling in behind her. “We’re limited on surgical teams—”

“Yeah, I know. They said they’ll have Kate out of the trauma room in ten minutes, heading up to the operating suites. Reynolds is going to take that case, so I paged Patrick to take the incoming car accident—they’re worried about head injuries and that’s his specialty.”

“Good, good.” Epiphany headed out, and Nadine picked up her pen to note down the changes.

“Thank God. You’re here. You said you’d be on duty, and you’re here.”

She jerked her head up, frowning when Johnny dashed up. “Johnny, what’s going on? I thought Kate was the only injury—”

Johnny swallowed hard, gripped the edge of the counter. “Lulu. I brought her in, and they took her back, but I don’t know anything, and those doctors won’t tell me anything, okay, and they need to, so tell me if she’s been admitted—”

“What happened?” Nadine’s fingers were already flying over the keyboard. Her stomach pitched when the information came back. “Lulu has been admitted, but that’s all I can tell you. They contacted Nikolas as her next of kin—”

“He’ll never tell me anything. Damn it. Damn it.”

“What happened?” she repeated. “I know Kate was shot, but what happened to Lulu?”

“Chaos. Disaster. Everything Nikolas and Lucky were worried about.” He dragged a hand down his face. “She was with me and then she wasn’t. She just curled up and a light went out. I couldn’t get her to come back. Not this time.” His eyes were dark, desperate. “I know you said things got left with Nikolas on a bad note, but I need to know what’s going on. I just need to know.”

“I can go follow up on the case, but don’t expect any miracles. I’m sorry, Johnny. This is the last thing any of us wanted.” She made a note of Lulu’s location, then stepped down from the nurse’s station. “Wait over there, okay? I’ll be back when I can tell you something.”

St. Timothy’s Church: Parking Lot

The church was still a crime scene, so Jason was able to catch up with his former business partner behind the blockade of flashing lights and patrol cars.

Sonny stood in his blood-stained tuxedo, his fingers gripping the hard edge of a blockade as he turned to Jason. “You told me it was secure,” he bit out as Jason stepped up to him. “In a hurry to get out of town and you missed something!”

Jason shot Cody a dark look, and the other man closed his mouth. Cody hadn’t worked for the organization long enough to know that the absolute last thing anyone needed to do was remind Sonny that he’d been the one to refuse a last minute sweep. Maybe Jason could have fought harder, but damn it, was Sonny ever going to take responsibility for anything?

“None of this makes sense,” Jason said finally. “An attack on you, an attack this high profile — it’s suicide. And why, if they had the shot, did they go after Kate? Why not you? Or me.” He swallowed hard. “We need to take a deep breath, Sonny, and think about this—”

“You think all you want,” Sonny retorted, whipping his head back. “Maybe if it were Elizabeth in a blood-soaked wedding gown fighting for her life, maybe you’d understand how I feel—”

“You think I don’t—” Jason fisted his hands at his side, wondering how he and Sonny had drifted so far apart. Once Sonny would have looked at him for reassurance, for guidance. For support. And now— “We need to be sure who did this—”

“I am sure. You swept the damn church, didn’t you? So who could get in and do this? Who had access?”

Jason saw the realization spread across Sonny’s face, and he grimaced. “Sonny—”

“Fucking Johnny Zacchara—” The older man charged towards the parking lot, and Jason tried to grab at him, missing. He started after him.

“The kid has never been in the damn business! How many times have you gone after him only to find out you were wrong—”

“He must have helped one of his father’s men,” Sonny muttered. He whirled away from the blockade, stalking back towards the dark SUV, Max almost sprinting to keep up with him. “Where is he? I’ll choke the truth out of him—”

“Boss, maybe we should go back to the house,” Max suggested with a wince. “Take a shower. Get some coffee, check in at the hospital—”

“Lulu.” Sonny snapped his fingers. “He was with her. Someone at the station said she’d gone to the hospital. Let’s go.” He yanked open the passenger door to the SUV, held it for a moment. “You either get in,” he barked at Max, “or I drive myself.”

Either way he was going, so no one blamed Max when he scrambled into the SUV.  At least with Max, there was a sense they’d be able to keep tabs on the Sonny.

“Let’s go,” Jason said to Cody. “I need to get to the hospital.”

General Hospital: Emergency Room

She looked just like their mother. Of Laura’s three children, her daughter had always been the mirror image of her mother. The shape of their face, the same blonde hair, the same smile—and until Laura’s illness, the same sparkle in their eyes.

But now, Nikolas thought, the resemblance had returned. The look in their eyes was identical, down to the unfocused glaze of a mind that was somewhere far away from this room. Laura had slipped away in General Hospital five years earlier, and now Lulu had followed.

His little sister lay in the bed, her head resting against the pillows, still dressed in the frothy deep pink dress she’d plucked from the trio Maxie had chosen for her. Her hair had fallen down around her face, and lines of mascara, smudged eyeliner encircling her empty hazel eyes.

A hand dropped on Nikolas’s shoulder, jolting him. He turned and saw his aunt standing there. He breathed a sigh of relief, embraced her. “Hey. Kristina?”

“She’s all right,” Alexis murmured. She rubbed his back. “I took her home, settled her with the nanny. I thought you might need me. Have you called Lucky?”

“Not yet, no. He’s got the boys this week.” Nikolas rubbed his cheek. “I wanted to wait. I wanted to wait until she’d come out of it. But—”

“She’s not?”

“No—”

The curtain of Lulu’s cubicle rustled, and Nikolas looked over to see Nadine stepping inside. “Is there news from the doctor?” he wanted to know, coming towards her.

“No—” Nadine looked at Lulu for a long moment, and when she focused on Nikolas, there were tears in the corners of her eyes. “No. I’m not on her case. I’m so sorry, Nikolas.”

“Yeah, well—” Nikolas fisted his hand at his side. “Aunt Alexis, I need you to get on the phone with the DA’s office.”

“I think we’ll see some movement finally,” Alexis assured him. “With Scott out of town, he can’t use his weight as special prosecutor to stall. I’ll call you.”

“Thank you.” When Alexis had left the cubicle, Nikolas looked at Nadine. “You see why it has to be this way. I can’t—” He focused on his sister, on his beautiful, little sister. “I didn’t want her to go to the wedding. But I couldn’t tell her no.”

“She’s tough, Nikolas. So tough. She’ll fight back, and—”

“I keep telling myself that, you know. But my mother was strong. You wouldn’t believe what my mother went through. Then one day—” He closed his eyes. “It was too much. There’s always a breaking point, and Lulu reached hers. I have to do whatever I can to bring her back. I can’t let her waste away like my mother. I can’t do it, Nadine. Nothing else can matter.”

“I understand that. I’m—I’m sorry I came down on you so hard.” Nadine bit her lip. “I came back because Johnny’s out front. Looking for an update.”

“An update? After he—” Nikolas swallowed the bitter words bubbling up. “Yeah, fine. The doctor is due back in a few minutes. You can pass along whatever they say.”

“All right.” Nadine studied Lulu, then went over to a drawer in the cabinet. She removed a package, ripped off the top. She extracted a damp white cloth, then proceeded to gently wash the makeup from his sister’s face. Lulu gave no sense that she recognized Nadine or even knew that it was happening.

His eyes blurred and Nikolas had to look away.

General Hospital: Hallway

Maxie’s heels clacked as she hurried down another hallway in the emergency room. She was all turned around now in the labyrinth walls where every turn looked the same and all the door numbers kept swirling around—

What if she just stood in one spot and screamed Matt’s name? Would the irritating doctor pop up then? She was frustrated enough to attempt it, but just when she’d planted herself in one spot, she overheard a pair of voices, both familiar.

“I can handle the damn case!”

“I don’t care what you can handle, I’m giving it to Reynolds. He’s got seniority and he’s the only doctor with enough experience—”

Maxie twisted around another corner and found Matt and Patrick nearly nose to nose, their faces flushed. “Matt, Patrick! Thank God! People I know! Tell me where Kate or Lulu is!”

“I’m a little busy, Maxie,” Matt began, but Patrick stepped back, checked the beeper at his waist with a grimace.

“Look, you want to be on Kate’s case so damn bad? Deal with the family. You can scrub in, but you’re not taking the lead. That’s the end of the conversation,” Patrick added when Matt opened his mouth again. “I’ve got a head injury from a car accident coming in and a hospital to run.”

“Egotistical selfish bastard,” Matt muttered under his breath after Patrick had jogged off. “Who the hell does he think he is?”

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Maxie demanded, planting a fist on her hip. “The chief of staff told you to handle Kate’s family. That’s me. So tell me where she is and how she is, or I swear on every single bottle of Chanel that I will scream.”

Matt nearly growled. “You’re not—”

“The only other family she’s got refuses to call her by her actual name and spends all her time complaining, okay? I’m Kate’s family, and I’m the one that gives a damn, and I also signed a stupid form like months ago that says I get to know whatever I want.” Maxie ripped her shoe from her foot and held it up, heel out. “Now tell me where she is or you’re going to have a Jimmy Choo shaped hole in your goddamn head!”

General Hospital: Emergency Room

When Nadine came back, Johnny was sitting in a hard plastic orange chair tucked in the corner. His dark hair disheveled as if he’d run his hands through it a million times, his white tuxedo shirt tugged out of his pants and partially unbuttoned. His jacket had been discarded since she’d seen him last.

He bolted to his feet as she approached, his dark eyes intense. “Is she okay? Tell me please.”

“I’m sorry, Johnny. She’s…she’s still the way you brought her in. Dr. Winters and the attending physician are arranging her transfer back to Shadybrooke because there’s just nothing more we can do for her here.”

“Nikolas is going to take her to California, and she won’t even know. I wanted to wait before I told her. To let her have this day.” Johnny sank back into the chair, staring blankly. “You think they’ll tell me which clinic?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Give Nikolas a day or two to settle. He’s dealing with a lot right now.”

“Never should have taken her to that damn wedding. It was too much. They said it was too much, but she was so happy, and I just wanted her to be okay—” He broke off. “But now they’re going to take her away where I can’t follow.”

“And she’ll get better,” Nadine said gently. She touched his arm. “She’ll get better and come back to you. That’s what matters, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Johnny muttered. He dragged a hand down his face. “Thanks for finding out.”

“Any time,” Nadine said. She squeezed his arm, then stepped back. “I’m sorry. I have to go check on another patient. I’m sorry, Johnny.”

“Yeah, so am I.”

She headed down the hallway, turning the corner just as the street entrance to the Emergency Room burst open and a furious Sonny Corinthos strode in, heading straight for Johnny.

Johnny only had a moment to look up and grimace before he was being hauled to his feet and shoved up against a wall.

Jacks House: Living Room

Carly winced when her bare foot came down hard on a familiar piece of plastic. “Morgan! You were supposed to clean up your Legos!”

Morgan looked over at her with wide eyes, his hand clutched around one of his super hero figures. “I did!”

“Yeah, well—” she leaned down, plucked the yellow piece from the carpet and held it up. “My foot says different.” Limping, she headed over to the sofa, dropping the Lego to the coffee table with plink. She rustled for the remote and flipped on the news, rolling her neck to the side—

Then snapping to attention when WKPC’s breaking news banner scrolled across the bottom of a live action shot of St. Timothy’s Church. A shooting. No word on casualties—

Another shooting. More bullets. More violence. Her stomach lurch, and she clicked off the news before Morgan could hear his father’s name.

With trembling hands, she got to her feet, and headed for the kitchen to tell the nanny she had to leave.

General Hospital: Emergency Room

They didn’t make it to the hospital before Sonny. Of course not. Everything else today had gone wrong, Jason thought bitterly, so why not get stuck at every goddamn red light between the church and the hospital?

By the time Jason arrived, hospital security was trying to drag Sonny away from Johnny Zacchara. He had the younger man against a wall, and his forearm pressed against Johnny’s neck.

“Goddamn it—” Johnny choked. “Why can’t you ever blame anyone else?”

“You know who pulled the trigger, don’t you?” Sonny roared, but before he could do anything else, the security guard finally dragged him back, Sonny kicking and fighting every step of the way.

Jason hung back — Sonny was on his way to being arrested again and dropped into lockup which might be the best place for him at this point, he thought, and the last thing Jason wanted was to find himself in the next cell. He needed to get a status update on Kate, locate Spinelli, find out what the cops already knew—

And if possible, he wanted to see Elizabeth, to go to her and find some quiet. Something that wasn’t any of this — and to look in her eyes to see the truth this time when she told him it was okay. That she understood about Italy.

“You want me to tell Diane to stay downtown and deal with this?” Cody asked, retrieving his cell from the inside of his suit jacket.

Jason winced as security tackled Sonny to the ground, and cuffs were placed on his wrists. “Uh, yeah, might as well. But tell her not to try too hard to get Sonny out of again,” he added. He dragged his hands through his hair, rested them at the base of his neck, still clasped. “God damn it, what else can go wrong tonight?” he growled.

The wail of sirens broke into his irritation, and he could see the ambulance pull up to the bay just beyond the doors. Doctors and nurses were racing towards the door, panicked. Something bad, Jason thought, working his way around the emergency room intent on grabbing Johnny Zacchara before the kid could get away.

Because maybe Johnny hadn’t done anything to Kate, but his family was at the top of the list. No one liked to cause chaos like Anthony. And there was his sister, Claudia, always the wild card

He’d just reached the other man when the doors flew open, and a stretcher was rolled in—

And the world stopped.

It was Elizabeth.

There was a protective brace around her neck, and her face—there was so much blood—he could hardly make out any of her features—

Jason didn’t even realize he’d grabbed Johnny Zacchara by the shirtfront, his hand gripping the material, twisting it.

“Come on, man, I didn’t do anything—” Johnny closed his mouth when he realized the other man wasn’t even looking at him.

“Lost the pulse in the ambulance,” one of the paramedics said, handing over a clipboard to the doctor. “Got it back—” He reeled off a series of numbers, but Jason didn’t hear anything else. Lost the pulse lost the pulse lost the pulse lost pulse—the words repeated in his head like a throbbing drum.

“You know her, don’t you? Lulu’s sister-in-law? Well, not anymore, but—” Johnny swallowed hard when Jason glared at him. “What did I say?”

“Nothing. Nothing.”

What the hell had happened after she’d left the airport? And how was he going to make the hospital tell him anything?

Jason released Johnny, looked to Cody. “Get Diane on the phone. Change of plans. Tell her to get to the hospital. I need a copy of the power of attorney we signed yesterday. Sonny can wait.”

Spencer House: Kitchen

“You know that Elizabeth is trashing me behind my back to them,” Sam complained, bringing the dinner dishes to Lucky at the sink. “There’s no reason for them to both hate me on sight.”

“They don’t hate you.” Lucky looked up at the kitchen door, being propped open with a chair from the table so that he could see Cameron and Jake playing by the sofa, watching cartoons. “Go in there. Hang out with them.”

“Cameron slapped my hand,” Sam muttered. She leaned against the counter. “This is why you should take her to court, Lucky. Get the custody order official.”

“I’m going to have to when she finds out you’re here,” Lucky said. She made a face. “I know. I know. I’m going to talk to Alexis next week to find a custody attorney. It’s just—I don’t want to fight with her. I don’t,” he added. “She’s a great mother, and I sprang California without a lot of warning. I’d rather work it out with her. So when she comes home, I’m going to try to have the conversation again.”

“Lucky—”

The phone rang, and Lucky left the sink to pick up the cordless. “I’m not trying to push her so hard that she just shuts down all visitation, which she can do. All she has to do is play the biology card, and I’m out cold.” He pressed the answer button, brought the phone to his ear. “Yeah?” His fingers tightened around the phone, listened to Nikolas. “Okay. I’ll be right there. Yeah, just let me deal with the boys. I’ll drop them with Audrey.”

“Lucky?” Sam said. She straightened. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Lulu.”

General Hospital: Trauma Room

Patrick stripped off his gloves and tossing them in a nearby medical waste bin, watching silently as Elizabeth was rolled out of the trauma room towards the elevator that would take her to X-Ray.

“Dr. Drake?”

He bit back the profanity that leapt to his lips, looking over at Regina Thompson, the nurse who’d spoken. “Yeah.”

“Jason Morgan is out at the desk asking for an update. He says he has the right to know—his lawyer has paperwork and all kinds—”

Jason Morgan. Patrick clenched his jaw. “Yeah, okay. I’ll be right out.” First he needed to get his temper under control or he might murder someone—

He stalked out into the emergency room, towards the waiting area where Jason was pacing in front of the desk, Diane Miller calmly sifting through paperwork at the desk. Jason’s hair was disheveled, his tuxedo jacket long gone, and the tails of his shirt yanked out.

When he saw Patrick striding towards him, the mobster straightened, stopped pacing. “Patrick. You’re on Elizabeth’s case? Good. Is she—”

“Her car was broadsided by some asshole running a red light. Her car got shoved into oncoming traffic. The car flipped a few times.” Patrick took another breath. “Right now, we’re looking at a concussion. There’s some bleeding internally, so we’re sending her to x-ray and prepping for surgery to see what else we’re dealing with.”

“But she’s going to be okay—” Jason took a step forward, his expression desperate, panic in his blue eyes. “She’s—she’s going to recover, isn’t she?”

“Barring infection and complications from surgery, yeah.”

The relief on the other man’s face was so stark, so palpable that it made Patrick angry all over again. “Why wasn’t she on the goddamn plane? She was supposed to be somewhere over Canada by now—”

When Jason didn’t immediately answer, Patrick lost whatever control he had left of his temper. “Are you worried someone might see that you give a damn? Sorry to interrupt whatever was more important. She’s alive. You can go back to ignoring her—”

“What the hell—”

Patrick didn’t even bother waiting for him to finish his statement. He headed for the desk, determined to search out another patient and get his mind off Elizabeth, to put away the worry about the bleeding and what damned surgeon would perform the procedure because it wouldn’t be him—

“I wasn’t ignoring her. I would never—”

“Except that you do and did.” Patrick took a deep breath. “She told me she was going to Italy with you because she wanted someone to know where she was since she couldn’t tell her grandmother, and Lucky is, on his best day, hot garbage. She was excited. She’s talked about going to Italy for as long as I’ve known her—”

“I know that—” Jason started.

“When I heard about the accident on the dispatch, I thought—I thought she was on her way to the airport.” Patrick’s eyes burned into Jason’s. “But then I rechecked the flight info. She was coming home. And she was only on that road at that minute because you didn’t show up.”

“I—” Jason’s mouth tightened, and his eyes dropped to the linoleum. “I know.”

“She’s my best friend. My family,” Patrick said, gritting his teeth. “You and I both know she can do better than you.”

“I do—”

“But she picked you. Either end it for good, Morgan, or man up, and stop wasting time. After what’s happened this last year, you’d think you of all people would remember that life is too damn short.”