Second chances they don’t ever matter, people never change
Once a whore, you’re nothing more, I’m sorry that’ll never change
And about forgiveness, we’re both supposed to have exchanged
I’m sorry honey, I passed out, now look this way
– Misery Business, Paramore
Monday, March 27, 2006
Morgan Penthouse: Living Room
“Carly, there’s nothing more I can do—” Jason pinched the bridge of his nose and looked across the room to Sam, who was still not talking to him—another problem he couldn’t solve.
She’d arrived home before him after that terrible scene at Sonny’s, gone upstairs to the guest room to sleep. That had been two days ago. She hadn’t looked at him, spoken to him, or returned to their bedroom.
And he honestly had no idea how to fix that.
Unfortunately for him, Carly had no problems with her communication. She was angry about the articles, about the insinuations, about the fact that Michael was getting snickers about his father at school and at basketball practice. This was very upsetting to Carly because Michael started a new school this year, and while Jason had no memories of elementary school, apparently sixth graders were vicious bullies.
“There’s always something to do,” Carly snapped. “You’re supposed to be the most feared enforcer on the goddamn Eastern seaboard. Why can’t you kidnap your idiot sister—”
“I’m hanging up now,” Jason told her before pressing end on his phone and setting it on the desk. He sighed and looked at Sam, who had turned her head to him. “Carly thinks I should kidnap Emily.”
Sam raised her brows, then sighed. “I’d ask why Carly cares, but she’s predictable. She might not want Sonny, but no one else gets him either. It’s the same crap she pulled two years ago.”
Relieved Sam was talking to him, even if it was in a flat tone of voice, Jason took a seat at the other end of the sofa and continued. “She says it’s because of the boys. Because of how much they love Emily. And every time a woman comes into Sonny’s life, she ends up leaving and never coming back.”
Sam snorted. “She’s not wrong. And you agree with her.”
Dangerous territory. Jason took a deep breath. “I agree that we need to make this stop. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” He paused. “I’m sorry. About that scene with Emily, and then with Sonny—”
“I’m not a mess you need to clean up,” Sam said. She glared at him. “And if that’s why we’re together—because you like a damsel in distress, then you should go. Or I should go.”
“I never said—”
“I’m no one’s fucking damsel.” She shoved herself to her feet and started to pace. “I can take care of myself, Jason. I can always take care of myself. You think I can’t because I moved in with you and pretended to be all weak and alone, but I’m not fucking helpless—”
Warily, Jason also stood. “I never said—”
“Because I played Sonny like a goddamn cheap violin, and if it hadn’t been for Carly—” Sam broke off, shook her head. “Anyway.”
Jason grimaced. “Sam, c’mon. I know what you said to Sonny yesterday, but I was there, and I know you—”
She scowled. “I played you, too. I knew exactly what to do, to say, to make sure I could stay right across the hall from Sonny. I thought I could—” She pursed her lips. “Emily was wrong. I didn’t—I don’t think I used my daughter. Not after she was gone. But before, I know I did.”
Jason just stared at her. What the hell did he say to that? “Sam—”
“You can’t make your sister or Sonny do what you want to do. You’re right. This will be a disaster. But you’re wrong, and Carly’s wrong. You need to just let this go. Let whatever is going to happen happen. Because I am not interested in being in the middle of any of this—”
He blinked at the change in conversation, then shook his head. “I don’t know if I can just sit back—there are things going on—”
“What choice do you have?” Sam demanded. “What choice do any of us have? Sonny is going to do whatever the hell he wants. You know that. And judging from your sister, I mean, she’s going to do the same. So, hey, maybe they are a match made in heaven.”
Jason had no idea how to handle this bitter and angry Sam, but he knew he had to say something—
He was interrupted by a knock on the door. Sam walked past him to open the door and scowled when she found Emily standing on the threshold. Jason shot to his feet. “What do you want?” Sam demanded.
“I came to see if my brother has calmed down enough to have a civil conversation.” Emily eyed Sam up and down, taking in her disheveled dark hair and gray sweats. Sam’s scowl deepened, and Jason strode forward, a bit worried they would have a repeat of before.
“Emily—”
“Look, it was pointed out to me that I have a habit of…” Emily pursed her lips. “Going for the jugular when I’m angry. I don’t like taking my problems out on my friends or…” She arched a brow. “Whatever you are.”
Sam snorted, folded her arms, and rolled her eyes but remained silent.
“I talked to Sonny last night—” Emily said, and Jason clenched his jaw. “He said you went over and threw a tantrum. You demanded he stop seeing me. And I’m sure he told you to go to hell. So I’m wondering if you’re going to stop being a jerk—”
“Is this you apologizing?” Sam demanded. “Because, wow, it sounds like more of the same—”
“I am not talking to you, Sam,” Emily snapped. “Nobody asked you.” She squeezed her eyes shut, took a deep breath. “I get that you don’t like what’s happening here. You’re not alone, okay? Mom and Dad are angry. Grandfather can barely look at me. Carly came all the way to the hospital yesterday to chew me out, and, of course, Elizabeth took your side like she always does.”
“I’m sorry you’re unhappy,” Jason said flatly. “But none of us are wrong.”
“All of you are wrong. You know, I expected it from the Quartermaines. They’ll hate Sonny until the day they die. Whatever. But you—God, you and Elizabeth.” Emily’s eyes burned. “I really thought you would be there for me. That you’d be angry at first, but that you’d understand that what Sonny and I have is real—”
“I never said it wasn’t,” Jason interrupted. “But that doesn’t mean he’s not going to hurt you.”
“You think you can be in love with someone and not hurt each other?” Emily demanded. “You think you’re so damned perfect? What about what you did to Robin, huh? Or lying to Courtney about sleeping with this—” She bit off whatever word she was about to say. “Or cheating on Elizabeth with Courtney? You think you’ve never hurt anyone—”
Jason blinked and shook his head. “I never—what are you talking about? I never cheated on Elizabeth.” Stunned, he swallowed hard. “Did she tell you that?”
“That’s the part you’re focusing on?” Sam demanded. “How about the part where she called me a whore again?”
“I—” Jason looked at his irate fiancée. “I didn’t—”
“Elizabeth didn’t have to tell me,” Emily snarled. She jabbed a finger at him. “How dumb do you think I am? She moved out in October. And then you were with Courtney five seconds later. Why do you think she left?”
“Elizabeth lived with you? What—” Sam held up her hands. “Wait a second.”
“It wasn’t—” Jason bit off the protest. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Sure. Because you are so perfect. You cheated on Robin with Carly. On Elizabeth with Courtney. Hey, maybe you were actually sleeping with this skank before you left Courtney. Where do you get off acting like some sort of saint who’s never hurt anyone?” Emily’s eyes burned into his. “You don’t get to walk around telling other people what to do. I came here to see if you’d calmed down. Obviously—”
“It’s time for you to go,” Sam declared. She grabbed Emily’s arm and shoved her across the threshold. “If he’s not going to do it, I will. And don’t bother stopping by anymore. You won’t be allowed past the lobby without permission again.” She slammed the door shut, then whirled on Jason.
“I—” Jason couldn’t quite take in what had just happened. How it had all turned on him. He knew—He knew that Emily and Sonny was a bad idea. He knew he had to stop it. But—
“Why the hell did you let her stay after she went after me again?” Sam demanded. “And why didn’t you tell me you lived with Elizabeth? And what the hell does that mean about Robin and Carly—” She narrowed her eyes. “Did you let her stay so you could find out exactly what Elizabeth told her?”
“She’s…” Jason exhaled slowly, trying to wrap his head around the scene that had just played out. “She’s my sister, Sam. I just—I just—I don’t know. Maybe.” He hadn’t thought about those last few weeks with Elizabeth in…years—not until a few weeks ago when Elizabeth had brought up the lie about Sonny—the lie he’d told her.
Did she really think—
“Hey.” Sam snapped her fingers, bringing his attention back. “Focus, Jason. Because whatever Emily said about before, it doesn’t change the fact that every time she goes after you, I end up in the crosshairs. I just told you—I do not want to be part of any of this bullshit. And you just let her continue to attack me so you could…what…pump for her information?”
“No, that’s not—” Except that’s exactly what he’d done, and he felt low. He scrubbed his hands over his face, took another deep breath. “You’re right. I’m sorry. She’s my sister, and she knows exactly what to say to me.”
“Yeah, Emily wasn’t wrong about always going for the jugular. It sounds like she went after her best friend, along with me. And now you.” Sam rubbed the heel of her hand against her chest. “And now she’s probably off to another victim. I mean it, Jason. I don’t want her just showing up here. Not until you figure out how to deal with it.”
“Yeah, I’ll tell Wally downstairs. Listen, about—about what she said—it’s true about Robin and Carly. Not in the way Emily means. But I hurt Robin a lot.” Jason shook his head. “But I would never do that again. Not to anyone. I didn’t cheat on Elizabeth. Or Courtney.”
“No, but you do have a way of avoiding being alone.” Sam tipped her head. “I didn’t realize things were so serious with Elizabeth. You said it didn’t go anywhere.”
“It didn’t,” Jason said flatly.
“But she lived with you! And thinks you cheated on her—” She threw up her hands. “Why is this the first time I’m hearing about any of this?”
“Because it’s over.” Jason shook his head. “And I can’t change any of it, so why bother talking about it?”
Sam narrowed her eyes, but he didn’t volunteer anymore. He wondered if she was thinking about the conversation he’d had on the docks with Elizabeth and their argument about it. “I’m gonna go take a shower. You go to work. And keep your sister away from me while she’s foaming at the mouth. Let her go attack someone else for a change.”
General Hospital: Locker Room
Elizabeth’s shift was scheduled to start at the same time as Emily’s, so she found herself hurrying to get ready and out of the locker room before her best friend arrived.
But the world was not on her side as Emily stalked into the room just as Elizabeth was tying her sneakers. Resigned to another round of drama, Elizabeth sat on the bench and waited.
“Brothers are ridiculous,” Emily muttered. “They always have terrible taste in women, and they take the skank’s side. Can you believe Jason just sat there while Sam shoved me out the door?”
“Oh, man, you went back to the penthouse?” Elizabeth grimaced. “Why? Did you think Jason was going to change his mind? Em—”
“He’s just so—ugh—you know AJ used to call him Saint Jason? Walking around like he could do no wrong—”
If Emily was invoking her dead brother who had been smothered to death after kidnapping kids, faking deaths, and shooting his own father, she was really on a rampage. She could only imagine what Emily had said to get Sam to throw her out this morning.
“Emily, maybe you just need to stay away from Jason until he’s…” Elizabeth got to her feet. “I don’t know until this is over.”
“Over? You mean until Sonny dumps me? Is that you mean?”
Yes, but Elizabeth valued her life enough not to say so. She pursed her lips. “Or until Jason accepts it—”
“Why the hell should I go around on tiptoes because my family doesn’t approve of my boyfriend? Is that what you did when you were sleeping with Jason in your studio?” Emily demanded. “No. You gave everyone the finger and did what you wanted.”
Elizabeth took a deep breath. “Okay, well, first of all, I wasn’t sleeping with Jason back then. He told you that. I told you that.” And she was really sick of telling people that.
“Please, no one ever believed it,” Emily muttered. She stripped off her top and yanked her scrubs from her locker. “Don’t tell me you think we bought that just friends crap?”
“I—”
“I mean, honestly, if you weren’t married, I’d tell you to take another turn at him. You’d be better than his current whore—”
“Emily, just stop—” Elizabeth held up her hands. “What the hell has gotten into you? You’re attacking me just for standing here. And if this is the attitude you had at Jason’s, no wonder you’ve been thrown out twice—”
Emily huffed, then sat on the bench. “I’m sorry. I’m just—” She shook her head. “You all think I’m an idiot. Like I don’t know who Sonny is. What he’s done. I’ve known him half my life, Elizabeth. Do you think I don’t know what I’m getting into? Don’t I deserve someone who makes me happy?” Her voice thickened. “After last year, after struggling so hard to put Connor Bishop behind me—Nikolas was supposed to love me. To stand by me. And he didn’t.”
“I know.” Elizabeth sat down next to her. “I know. And I am still so angry at him for not giving you more time. For not being the man I thought he was. Em—” She bit her lip. “Look, you said you expected this from the Quartermaines. Because even though AJ and Jason ultimately made their own choices, you know they blame Sonny for what happened.”
“I expected more from you. From Jason.” Emily’s lips trembled. “I told him that. You think I’m making a mistake. And you’re taking his side—”
“I am not taking his side, Em. I don’t even know his side. But I know that going over to his home, attacking him and Sam isn’t going to make this better.”
“I know that. I thought about what you said, but then I talked to Sonny, and I got mad all over again at Jason—but I wasn’t gonna say anything to Sam. I promise. But then she opened the door and, God, she just had this look on her face, like nothing I would say would matter—” Emily scrubbed at her face. “I just wanted to hurt her.”
“Why? Why did you want to hurt Sam? She’s not even part of this. It’s Jason you’re mad at.”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I know she agrees with everyone else. She thinks she has the right to judge me. With everything that happened—with what she’s pulled on my brother—”
“Em—”
“But I really—I don’t know. I know you’re right. I know you’re right about me going for the throat when I get like this. Because I went for Sam, and you yesterday. And God, I went after Jason today. He was so—” Emily hiccuped as her tears slid down her cheeks. “He was so upset—”
Elizabeth put a hand on her shoulder. “What did you say to him?” she asked softly, knowing Emily would feel better if she admitted it. If she said it out loud. And—as much as she didn’t want to be—she was worried about Jason. She knew he was having problems with Sonny, and she didn’t think the maternity results had gone over great with Sam. The last thing either of them needed was another full frontal attack from Emily.
“I—I hit him where I know it hurts. I didn’t use Michael. At least I can say that. But I—I know he’s sensitive sometimes about the months after the accident. When, like, he didn’t know a lot, and he was figuring stuff out. He hurt Robin so much. I know that still bothers him. I know it because it was tied up in what happened with Michael, but also because of what happened with Carly.”
“Okay—”
“He wasn’t Michael’s father, you know. But he did sleep with Carly when he was dating Robin. And I know she forgave him, but it still bothers him. Because of her issues with HIV and sex—” Emily took a deep breath. “I know it bothers him,” she repeated.
“Well, if you just apologize—”
“So, I accused him of doing it again.”
Elizabeth furrowed her brows, tipped her head to the side. “What? Like—when he lied to Courtney about when Sam’s daughter was conceived—”
“Well, yeah, that too.” Emily bit her lip and met Elizabeth’s eyes. “And you.”
“And me,” Elizabeth repeated. “Wait. What? I—” She slid away from Emily as her pulse began to race. No. “What did you say to Jason?”
“Um. God. Oh, God—” Emily’s breath started to hitch. “Oh, man. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about—I just wanted to hurt him. And maybe I wanted to hurt Sam—”
“Emily, you didn’t—” Elizabeth’s hands trembled as her cheeks heated. “You didn’t tell him—I told you I don’t think anything was—” She turned away from her best friend, pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. “Oh, man. How could you—”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about it being something you told me in confidence—”
“I told you that—” Elizabeth got to her feet. “What’s wrong with you? You told Jason that I thought he was with Courtney while I was still at the penthouse? How could—”
“I lied to him. I mean—” Emily sighed. “When I said it, he got this look in his eyes and, man, I thought, direct hit. You know, bullseye. And then he just—he looked so upset, Elizabeth. And he wanted to know if that’s what you told me.”
“We never—” Her stomach lurched. Why. Why was this happening to her? “You had no right—”
“I lied to him. I said I came up with it on my own, okay? I just—I said I assumed he had because you moved out and—” Emily wrung her hands. “I’m sorry. I just—I didn’t think—”
“No, you didn’t.” Elizabeth closed her locker, pressed her forehead against it. “You never do. And you took something that had nothing to do with you—nothing to do with this—and you made me part of it. You had no right—”
“I didn’t tell him any of the other stuff, okay? Like how he was always leaving you for Carly, for Courtney, and how part of you was glad when Courtney thought he was cheating on her because she deserved it—”
“I’m going to work,” Elizabeth said. “I’m going to stop thinking about any of this. This—God, it was years ago. And it’s mortifying, okay? Because he never knew how hard I took any of that, okay? Em? He never knew. He never knew I was in love with him. It never got that far. We never made it that far because he obviously didn’t feel the same way. And I finally got to a point where I wasn’t thinking about that with him, okay? We could—I could be in the same room with him. I could be happy he’d moved on. And you’ve just—you’ve taken a wrecking ball to that.”
“I’m sorry—”
“You keep saying that. But you don’t even know what that means. You know what? Maybe you’re right. Maybe you and Sonny deserve each other.” She started to storm out, then whirled around. “You said no one bought that just friends crap. About Jason and me when Lucky was gone.”
“Uh—”
“What does that mean no one bought it?” Elizabeth demanded. “Who exactly didn’t buy it?”
“Um. Listen. It was years ago—”
“Lucky got mad because Jason walked me to the damned elevator,” Elizabeth snapped. “He was angry because I smiled at him, which is insane because I haven’t spoken to Jason more than a few times in almost two years. So what the hell do you mean no one bought it? Are you telling me—”
She pursed her lips. God, was this why Lucky was still so angry when Jason’s name came up? Because he thought she’d been lying to him back then? God, did that mean— “Does Lucky believe Jason and I were together then?”
“I don’t know if he still does,” Emily said, finally. “We haven’t talked about it for a long time. But yeah, when Jason came back that August, Lucky asked me and Nikolas. And we told him—we told him you and Jason were really close. And you both said it wasn’t like that, but that we didn’t believe you.”
Her eyes burned, and Elizabeth tipped her head to the ceiling, trying to control it so she could go get her job done. “Okay. Great. Well, thanks for that. Thanks for making me a liar. For your information, I never slept with Jason. Not once. I might as well have since everyone thinks I’m a liar and a whore.”
“Elizabeth, wait—”
But Elizabeth had to go earn a paycheck and figure out exactly what she was supposed to do now that she knew there was no one she could really trust.
PCPD: Commissioner’s Office
Mac sighed. “Lucky, I’m glad therapy is going better—but I told you. If you’re out past April 1, I need to reassign Jesse to a new partner. Officially. Right now he’s just working solo—”
“I’m finally able to get through the routine every day. I just know that Drake is gonna let me come back in a few weeks. Just a little more time—”
“It’s been five months already, Lucky.” Mac leaned forward. “Look, your job is always here. We just can’t hold your spot on Major Crimes open indefinitely. But we always need guys in Robbery—”
“No, I worked hard for that promotion. This isn’t fair, Mac. I deserve that spot! It’s not my fault I got hurt in November—and I got injured in the line of duty—” Lucky swallowed his protests as Mac’s face didn’t change. Damn it. Not when he was this close to finally having everything back. No! It wasn’t fair to do this to him now.
“I know. But the union will back me on this. I need my best squad at its best, and we’ve been down a guy for months. We’ve been rotating in and out, but—”
“Just one extra week. April 7. Just give me two weeks from today. I can do this, Mac. I’m sure of it.”
“April 7,” Mac repeated. “And if you’re not back by then, you won’t get angry that I fill that spot?” He raised his brow. “Did Patrick actually tell you you’d be good to go in two weeks, or is that what you’re hoping?”
“That what I’m sure of,” Lucky said, flatly. “I promise, Mac.”
“Okay.” Mac set down the pencil he’d been twirling in his hand, leaned back in his chair. “Okay. Look, I know you’ve had it rough since the train accident, and that you’ve had one setback after another. I know you hate desk duty, and I wish I could do more, but I’ve got a department to run.”
“I know. But you won’t regret giving me this chance. I promise.”
“Yeah, okay. Good luck, Spencer. I hope we’ll see you back on April 7.”
“You will,” Lucky repeated. He hurried out of Mac’s office, then stopped in the men’s room to take out his pills before heading to another physical therapy appointment. He scowled—how—how could he be out of the entire bottle—
Damn it. He’d meant for these to last until he got back to work—
But he’d been granted a reprieve—one more precious week to pass the physical. And whatever he had to do to make it happen—
Well, it was worth it.
He took out his phone and found Santiago in his contacts. He pressed send, then put the phone to his ear. “Yeah. I need to see you. Yeah. The same, but, um, double it.” He grimaced at the price the dealer gave him, then glanced down at the gold band on his hand. “Fine. I need some time. An hour? Okay.”
He hung up the phone, put it into his pocket, then drew off his wedding ring. Lucky’s stomach rolled as he turned it over in his hand. He remembered Elizabeth’s wide smile as she’d shown him the ring the day she’d returned from the jeweler’s and her sheepish expression, apologizing that she couldn’t spend more. She’d been so proud to put this on his finger.
But she wasn’t proud of him right now. He was an angry, bitter shell of a husband who couldn’t stand to be in his own skin, to be around the people he cared about —
He hated to do this. Hated to let her down. But he was doing this for them. For their future and the family he’d promised her.
Lucky shoved the ring into his pocket and promised he’d get it back from the pawnshop with his first full paycheck. He could tell her it was lost or make up a story about it being repaired. She was working a lot lately — maybe she wouldn’t even notice.
Elm Street Pier
Even though Elizabeth knew she shouldn’t—Cameron was with Bobbie, and she really should pick him up—she took ten minutes to sit on the bench by the water.
She wasn’t going to let Lucky’s impatience with her being a bit late coming home from work interfere with something she did after every single shift. Something that gave her a minute to breathe and clear her head.
When she sat on these docks, she could remember all the better days she’d had here. Living under the docks when she and Lucky had run away, sharing a hot chocolate on this bench with Emily, or…
All the times she and Jason had sat here that fall and talked.
Oh, man. How was she ever going to look at him in the eye? How was she going to go home and face Lucky, knowing they had to have a conversation about what Emily had told him? If Lucky had always believed she’d slept with Jason that winter, had he spent all these years thinking Elizabeth had lied to him about her first time being with him?
And why had Lucky believed Emily and Nikolas? Why was he still so angry about Jason when she hadn’t even really talked to Emily’s brother in a year, outside of a few interactions a the hospital?
And how the hell had Sonny and Emily’s affair screwed up her life? If she’d known that Emily was going to use Elizabeth’s drunken and miserable confessions against Jason a weapon, Elizabeth never would have…she just wouldn’t have engaged in Jason’s life again. She would have stayed far away from the whole maternity test business, not told him about Skye—
And she certainly wouldn’t have referred to fake death lie or her irritation over Jason always taking Sonny’s side—
She scowled. Maybe it wasn’t entirely Emily’s fault they were going through this right now, but it made her feel better to blame someone else.
But Elizabeth didn’t want to think about any of that right now. She just wanted to sit here, wrap her cardigan more tightly around her, close her eyes, and let her brain drift. For just a few minutes.
But then, because the universe absolutely despised her, she heard a familiar set of footsteps and someone clearing their throat as they stepped up from the pier.
Elizabeth opened her eyes to find Jason standing a few feet away from her, obviously on his way from the warehouse. “Sure. Why not.” She looked up the universe. “You are a bitch.”
“Are—” Jason hesitated. “Do you want me to go?”
“No. No.” Elizabeth sighed, then straightened, taking a deep breath. “Do you have a minute?”
“Yeah.” He sat next to her, keeping almost two feet between them. Thank God for that. She didn’t look at him and kept staring straight ahead.
If she looked at him, she would flee like the hounds of hell were chasing her, then have to leave town and change her name. No, better to get over this now. Put it behind them.
“Look, just let me say this once, and then we can forget this ever happened, okay? I’ll say what I have to say, and then you’ll go. And it will be over.”
“Okay,” Jason said slowly. “Elizabeth—”
“I am sorry that you and Emily are fighting. I know it’s been bad. She comes to work right after and—well, obviously you know it’s been bad. I’m sorry she’s put me and Sam in the middle of it. I am…”
Elizabeth looked up at the stars in the sky. “I am mortified beyond belief that she would use something so personal as a way to hurt you. And even though she does not deserve any goddamn favors from me right now, she lied to you when she said—she was trying to backpedal, realizing she had crossed a line—” Elizabeth shook her head. You are an adult, Elizabeth Imogene. Get your shit together.
“I told her what she said to you. I told her that’s what I thought. And I do not want you to address it. I do not want to discuss it, okay? I just—you don’t need to think Emily thinks those things about you on her own, okay? Things are bad enough without that.”
“Elizabeth, I need to explain—”
“No.” Elizabeth shook her head sharply. “No. I—this is bad enough. Bad enough she dragged up something I told her in fucking confidence years ago and launched it at you like a nuclear weapon. I am not having this conversation with you. It does not matter.”
“It does if you’re upset about it now—”
“I am not—” Damn it. Elizabeth closed her eyes. Looked at him, saw the distress in his expression. “I am not upset about it now. Not like I was, okay? It’s not about any of that, okay? It’s about the fact that Emily is on the warpath, and none of us is safe. I haven’t thought about that in years. It’s not important—”
“But—”
“Jason.” She pointed at him. “No. The problem is that Emily is, apparently, not above throwing me or Sam under the bus in order to hurt you. What’s going on has nothing to do with me or Sam, and we don’t deserve to be in the middle.”
“No. I know that.” Jason took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I never seem to handle this the right way. Sam’s angry at me—” His chuckle was harsh and bitter. “Well, she’s angry for a lot of reasons with me, but right now it’s because I can’t stop Emily from calling her names, and to bring up her daughter—”
“When Emily told me she’d said it—” she exhaled slowly. “I am so sorry she did that. To both of you. But that’s what she does.”
“She takes the thing you hate about yourself and uses it against you.” Jason shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. “Sam told me to just leave all of this alone, and I know—I know she’s right.”
“But Emily showed up on your doorstep twice demanding your approval, Jason. That’s on her. You tossed her out, and she came back.”
“Because I went to Sonny yesterday and told him to stop seeing her,” Jason admitted, looking a bit ashamed of himself. “And maybe I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Maybe?”
“I shouldn’t have,” Jason corrected. “Sam’s right. I know you’re right, too. But I can’t—he’s going to hurt her, Elizabeth. And—” He hesitated. “I can’t say this to her. Because she’d refuse to believe me. But she’s going to hurt him.”
And Elizabeth knew what he wasn’t going to say—she’d known Sonny long enough to know that his relationships often ended in chaos and disaster for everyone around him, especially Jason.
“That’s true,” Elizabeth said slowly. “But that’s how it works, doesn’t it? Even when both people are in love, you still hurt each other. Sometimes you can make it right. And sometimes the hurt can’t be fixed.” She turned towards him slightly, feeling terrible for him. “You know that’s true.”
“Yeah, but—” Jason looked at her. “I should be able to stop it. I should be able to protect my own sister.”
“Look, the thing is—” Elizabeth chewed on her bottom lip. What the hell, she was already mortified beyond the speaking of it. Go for broke. “Emily and I have something in common—we’re both stubborn.”
Jason’s lips curved into a faint smile. “Really?”
She rolled her eyes but also smiled. “Yeah—and the more someone tells us we can’t have something, that we can’t do something—the more we go after it.”
She clenched her hands in her lap. “And—” She sighed. “I know what it’s like to…care for someone the entire world sees as a threat. As someone will hurt you, who isn’t good enough for you.” She met his eyes, saw that he understood what she meant. “Listening to Emily, the way she cried over how the Quartermaines are dealing with this, how you—and I—aren’t there for her. It was like hearing my own life played back for this morning.”
“So you think Sam’s right. That I’m wrong for telling her—and Sonny—it has to stop.”
Elizabeth hesitated. “The thing is, Jason, is it doesn’t matter if you’re right. I don’t think giving her ultimatums is going to work, you know.” She attempted a half-smile. “My grandmother tried that, you know. A few times. I ran away with Lucky the first time. I actually slept under these docks when that happened. And then, you know, I moved out of her house.”
“Yeah.” There was a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, I remember.”
“Giving her an ultimatum, Jason, is only going to backfire,” Elizabeth told him. “When I resisted and pushed back, it meant cutting people out and disappointing them. And when I tried to give in, I made myself miserable.”
She looked away from him, back out over the water. “Living your life to make someone else happy—I’ve done that.” She sighed. “I walked away from something that I really wanted because I wanted to do right by someone else. And I regretted it.”
He exhaled slowly. “Yeah. I know you’re right.”
“And you might think you’re saving them both by demanding it stop now. But all you’ll do is make them both regret it. Emily will always think of this as the chance she didn’t take. I—” She sighed.
“What?” he asked when she didn’t continue. “Elizabeth—”
“Even though I hate how it ended—and we’re still not talking about it by the way—I know the decision to end it wasn’t anyone else’s. It was mine. I might wish…things had been different. But I made my choices. And that matters.”
“So, I should let Emily and Sonny make theirs.”
“Yeah. I guess that’s what I’m saying. I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you differently.”
“No, you’re not saying anything Sam didn’t. I guess—I don’t know.” He looked at her. “Was it your choice?”
Elizabeth closed her eyes. “Jason—”
“Because I know I made it difficult. I—” He looked back out over the lake. “I wanted to apologize.”
“We’re really not talking about it this—”
“I was wrong. Not about the danger.” Jason hesitated, looked at her again, and waited for her to meet his eyes. “It was real. But you were right. It was your risk to take.”
She sighed, bit her lip. Too little, too late. “Well, it doesn’t matter now—”
“I know you don’t want to talk about it—”
“Jason—”
“That’s fine. We won’t. But it’s not true.”
She exhaled harshly. “Okay. Fine.”
“Elizabeth—”
They were both saved by the ringing of her cell phone. Elizabeth knew who it was and decided not to answer it. Jason frowned when she just let the phone ring. “Elizabeth,” he said again.
“I have to get home.” She got to her feet. “Look, I can appreciate that you feel bad. And you don’t want me to feel bad about what happened. I don’t. I’m mad at Emily. I’m embarrassed because I would have rather gone to my grave than to talk about it again—”
“But we haven’t talked about it, and I just—”
“Look, fine—” She closed her eyes, shook her head. Should have just gone home. This never would have happened if she’d just gone home. “Fine. Here’s the thing. You’re going to tell me that you never slept with Courtney while I was living at the penthouse. Except I know that. I know that’s true.”
Jason blinked at her. “But—”
“But you were clearly—” She huffed, irritated with the world, and with Emily for forcing herself to remember that terrible time in her life. “You were clearly interested in her, okay? Because five minutes after you talked to me in Luke’s, you were with her. You were basically living with her by January. I never told Emily I thought you cheated on me—not like that. We weren’t even really dating. And it was obvious that you didn’t care about me the same way—”
She pressed her lips together as he just stared at her. “You quit your job for her. You proposed to her. And I couldn’t even get you to tell me Sonny wasn’t dead. I’m not stupid, Jason. You were falling in love with her, and you didn’t know how to tell me. I’ve been there. I did the same with Lucky and—” She bit off the unspoken you, but they both knew what she’d been about to say.
She stopped and then just went for broke because what the hell. “Jason, you didn’t want to take the risk with me. But you took it with Courtney only a few weeks later. You met with her in secret. What am I supposed to think?”
He swallowed hard. “Okay, but—”
“I wish you would have just told me instead of making me feel like an idiot, but—” Elizabeth sighed. “What I said on the roof? About you following orders unless you think it matters—”
He winced. “Elizabeth—”
“I know I was talking about Manny and Skye, but what I meant was I didn’t matter. I didn’t matter enough back then to go against Sonny—I don’t matter now. At least this time…” She looked down at her wedding ring. “At least this time, I wasn’t pretending I did.”
“That’s not—” He stopped, then stared at her for a long moment before trying again. “Elizabeth—”
“Just—” She held up a hand. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I don’t know why the hell people can’t just believe me when I say things. I need to go home. Have a good night, Jason.”
