May 25, 2020

This entry is part 10 of 33 in the For the Broken Girl: Reflections of You

But I’m only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
‘Cause I’m only human, yeah
human, Christina Perri


Friday, March 31, 2006

Elm Street: Outside of the Brownstone

Elizabeth pulled her car to a stop in front of Bobbie’s house and just rested her forehead against the steering wheel for a moment. Instead of finishing paperwork at the end of her shift, maybe lingering for a few minutes to run downstairs and catch up with Nadine who had worked the same shift—

She was here, picking up her son.

Elizabeth had been standing in the nurse’s station, searching for a pen that wasn’t out of ink when Epiphany had given her a message from Bobbie. Not that it was an emergency or anything, Bobbie had told her, but that it was almost seven, and Lucky hadn’t picked up Cameron yet.

Elizabeth had stared at the words on the paper Epiphany handed her and fought the urge to crumble it into a ball, to fling it across the room. She’d asked him this one thing—one—thing—Bobbie was having dinner with Lucy and Kevin, who were only in town for a few days, and she’d needed Cameron picked up earlier than usual.

It shouldn’t have been an issue. Lucky didn’t have physical therapy that day, and Elizabeth had only asked Bobbie to watch Cameron because he’d said something about staying late at work. She’d wanted him to have that—to have that connection to the job he was so desperately trying to get back to—

But he’d forgotten. He hadn’t picked up Cameron. The one time all week she’d asked him to slightly adjust his own schedule—

She was trying so hard to keep things together, to put one foot in front of the other, but it just felt like the universe was against her this week. Manny and Skye, Sonny and Emily—and these insane conversations with Jason that felt like she was ripping her heart out and displaying it to him every time they spoke—

And what was the damn point? He was engaged. She was married. They’d both moved on. Why couldn’t he—why couldn’t she just let it go—

Elizabeth jumped as knuckles rapped sharply on her closed driver’s side window. She turned and blinked at Carly’s face, standing on the sidewalk, a hand on her hip. She rolled down the window. “Carly?”

“Mama was worried. Asked me to check on you.” Carly pursed her lips. “You okay?”

Elizabeth sighed, switched off the engine, then grabbed her purse before she got out of the car. “Yeah, I’m just tired. It was a long day at the hospital—”

“And you weren’t expecting to have to come over here to get Cameron, Mama said. Lucky was supposed to.”

Together they walked towards the front steps. Carly stopped her a moment before she reached for the doorknob. “Listen, you know, Mama has had Morgan a few times this week. My kid likes yours.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth nodded. “Yeah, Cam said something about it. I’m—” She hesitated. “I’m glad. I’m trying to get Cam into nursery school next year, and it’s good for him to be around kids his age. I know Morgan is a little older—”

“A few months, yeah, but they’re getting to the age where that doesn’t matter as much.” Carly folded her arms. “I don’t like you,” she declared.

“I’ve never been a fan of you either.”

“But,” Carly continued, even as she tossed Elizabeth a glare, “there aren’t many parents who…are eager to let their kids hang out with mine. Because of Sonny. I’ve tried…playdates. Michael has the same issue. I know—I know Lucky’s a cop and everything, but I was hoping that you might not be annoying.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll find another reason to call me annoying,” Elizabeth said dryly. “But not about this. I don’t know why Lucky would care. He grew up hanging out with Sonny, so I really don’t want to hear his crap on this anyway.”

“Fair enough.” Carly pushed open the door, and Elizabeth had to smile as she saw Cameron running after Morgan, who was a bit taller and steadier on his feet. “They’re playing…I’m not sure, but they seem to know the rules. Mama is upstairs, getting dressed for dinner.”

“Oh, well—” Elizabeth watched her son as he laughed, tackled Morgan, and pumped his fist in the air. “I should get Cam home, I guess.”

“Yeah. Or you could wait a few minutes for Mama to come down and talk to you because she’ll just hunt you down otherwise. The boys can play.”

“Mommy!” Cameron ran towards her, hugged her legs. “You say hi to Morgan.” He grinned at Carly. “Hi, Car. I like cars.”

Carly pursed her lips, but her eyes twinkled. “Car-ly,” she said, and clearly it was not the first time she’d instructed Elizabeth’s son on the pronunciation of her name. “Morgan, do you remember Elizabeth?”

“Uh-huh.” Morgan, who looked like a miniature version of his father with dark hair, dark eyes, and a dimple flashing in his cheek. “Ice cream. You buy it for me.”

“That was last summer,” Elizabeth said when Carly frowned at her. “I saw Morgan and Michael in the park with Leticia. I was getting Cameron ice cream, and…” She shrugged. “I’m glad you remember me, Morgan. You’re so smart!”

He grinned. “Bestest and most handsomest, right, Mommy?” He looked to Carly. “Cam leave?”

“Not yet, kid. You guys keep playing. We’re going to wait in the kitchen for Grammy.”

Morgan and Cameron ran back towards their pile of toys as Elizabeth followed Carly into the kitchen. “Michael isn’t here?”

“He’s at basketball practice. I like that Morgan gets to have this time with my mother. A nanny is nice for me when I’m at work, but I want him—” Carly looked at Morgan, who was giggling maniacally. “I’m trying very hard for Morgan to have a more normal childhood than Michael. Michael spent a lot of time with nannies.”

“They’re great kids, Carly. You’re doing something right.”

Carly frowned at her. “Did you just compliment me?”

“I think we’re both getting too old to fight over nothing at all.” Elizabeth sat down at the table and stretched her arm over her neck. “How are the boys doing? After losing Courtney…and with…” She grimaced. “The tabloids.”

Carly rolled her eyes. “Oh, God, right? It’s like one thing after another. They’re…adjusting. Courtney was a big part of their lives, but Morgan’s younger. Courtney will fade for him. It’s not fair—she took care of him so much when he was born because I was…in the hospital. And he won’t remember her at all.” She rubbed her face. “Michael’s managing. He looks at pictures of her, and we talk about her when he brings it up.”

She managed a half-smile for Elizabeth. “Thank you, though. For asking. I feel like Sonny has completely forgotten Courtney. I feel like—” Carly took a long breath. “I feel like everyone has. Jax hasn’t, but it’s more about John for him. And I know Nikolas is grieving. But it’s just—life went on. And it sucks.”

“I’m sorry,” Elizabeth said. “And I’m sorry if this thing with Sonny and Emily is creating more problems for the boys. Especially Michael. He’s in school, so I’m sure it comes up.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s been a real joy. You know—” Carly shook her head. “I knew something was going on with Sonny. Jason and I knew it weeks ago. He was ditching meetings with Jason, breaking promises to the boys—” She looked at Elizabeth. “Did you notice anything with Emily?”

“I did,” Elizabeth admitted. “She called out on a few shifts, and she’s—she broke a few promises to Cameron. I guess, with hindsight, we could see it coming. But I guess I thought she was over it.”

“And it’s still going on,” Carly said, disgusted. “Like, Sonny didn’t even stop to think how the way the news came out effects his kids—they don’t live with him, so he doesn’t have to feel it. A weekend here and there isn’t the same.” She grimaced. “Jason won’t talk about it, but I think he and Emily are fighting.”

Elizabeth hesitated, but she nodded. “Emily told me she’d been…” She bit her lip. “Well, you know how sometimes people who feel defensive go on the attack?”

“Know it? It’s pretty much my entire philosophy on life.” Carly wiggled her shoulders. “So Emily’s lashing out. At Jason?”

“Yeah,” Elizabeth admitted. “And—well, everyone. She thought Jason and I might come around on the whole Sonny thing, so when we didn’t both…I don’t know—I guess when we weren’t on board, she just—” She shook her head. “Anyway. It’s not been fun. She screams at Jason and Sam—they’ve both thrown her out. Then she comes to work, screams at me—”

“Jason threw her out? Huh.” Carly pursed her lips. “I’ve been bugging him about this. Trying to make him—I don’t know—fix it. But that’s not fair. I know that. I tell him all the time he shouldn’t spend his life cleaning up after Sonny and me, but I guess old habits are hard to break. When my boys are hurting, I can’t ask Sonny to help. He won’t. But I know Jason will.”

“No, but I get it. When things are wrong, and you can’t fix it yourself, Jason—” Elizabeth closed her mouth as Carly merely arched a brow.

“Jason, what?” she prompted when Elizabeth didn’t continue.

“Sometimes, you forget that Jason can’t fix everything,” Elizabeth said quietly.

Carly tipped her head to the side, squinted at her, but clearly decided to let it go. “No, I guess not. Well, hopefully, this Sonny and Emily crap will run its course before we all lose our damn mind.”

“Carly? Elizabeth?” Bobbie’s voice from the foyer drifted back towards them.

“We’re in here, Mama!” Carly called. “I’m just having a pleasant conversation with Elizabeth, so you might want to mark down this date.”

“And it’s not even my birthday,” Bobbie said with a grin as she came into the kitchen. She kissed her daughter’s cheek, then Elizabeth’s.

“I should get going,” Elizabeth said. “I’ve been on my feet all day, and I want to get Cameron down to sleep soon.” She looked to Carly. “You should—you should call me. We’ll set up a playdate for Morgan and Cameron.”

“Yeah, that sounds great. Thanks.”

Elm Street Pier

Jason sat on the bench on the pier, stretched out his legs, then looked out past Bannister’s Wharf, towards the cluster of buildings where he knew Elizabeth’s apartment was located.

The apartment she shared with her husband and son.

I loved you, too.

He exhaled slowly. He wasn’t entirely sure why his thoughts were drifting to her more and more these days. He’d been able to go entire weeks without thinking about Elizabeth. But asking her to run that maternity test for him had been a mistake in more ways than one.

Because now it’s worse.

I loved you, too.

He heard the footsteps before he saw the man, and it gave Jason a chance to get to his feet before Lorenzo Alcazar reached the bottom of the stairs.

The two men eyed each other uneasily. There was a mutual loathing, to be sure, but at the moment, Jason had no problem with Alcazar.

“I was surprised to get your request for a meeting,” Lorenzo said with an arch of his brow. “Until I spoke with Skye last night.” The older man cast his dark eyes to the side before meeting Jason’s gaze. “I owe your friend Elizabeth a debt of gratitude. For looking out for Skye.”

“So, you already know.”

“I do, and I suppose…I had offered Skye a guard, but she didn’t want one.” Lorenzo managed a half-smile, a bit pained. “I should have pressed her more. But she agreed to one last night, and she agreed to move to Miami a little early. She’d hoped to have the baby here, with her family, but…” He shrugged.

“Miami—” Jason frowned. “So you’re taking over the Ruiz territory.” He’d wondered why Alcazar had been laying so low these days, but it made sense—

“It’s there, and…there’s no room to expand here in Port Charles. Not without a lot of trouble.” Lorenzo waited a long moment. “I’m concerned, though, about Elizabeth Spencer. If Skye told me her story correctly, Elizabeth…put herself in the line of fire. Can I offer any protection for her? A guard—”

“I’m taking care of that.”

“I see.” Lorenzo paused and looked at him for a long moment. “Well, until next we meet, Morgan.” Lorenzo offered him a nod before going back up the stairs.

Jason exhaled his first easy breath as the other man disappeared behind a corner. Lorenzo Alcazar had never been a serious threat—he’d never had the connections. He’d been in a thorn in their side since the beginning thanks to Carly and her lingering affection for him.

He’d be gone now—but he was right. Without Alcazar or Skye to focus on, Manny would either follow them to Miami—

Or stay here for his revenge.

If Manny blamed Elizabeth for Skye’s disappearance…

He took out his phone and called Cody. “Hey—do you—do you have eyes on Elizabeth—No, I don’t want to know where she is. That’s—she’s okay? Okay. Yeah, you’re just—if she’s in danger. Manny might be targeting her. Okay.”

He hung up but still didn’t feel better. He needed to get rid of Manny Ruiz sooner rather than later.

Lucky & Elizabeth’s Apartment: Living Room

Elizabeth set Cameron down on the floor and watched as the toddler made a beeline for his toybox. She put her hands on her hips and glared at her husband, sprawled out on the sofa, watching the television with a glazed look in his eyes.

“Did you forget something?” she demanded.

Lucky blinked, looked at her for a long moment as if he couldn’t quite focus. “What? What did I forget?”

“Bobbie couldn’t keep Cameron until I was done my shift. You were supposed to pick him up at six—”

“Oh.” Still not seeming to engage in the conversation, Lucky cleared his throat. “Wait. What day is it?”

Frowning now, Elizabeth sat next to him, put a hand to his cheek. “Are you okay? You look sick—”

He slapped her hands away. “I’m fine. Leave me alone—”

“What’s wrong with you?” Elizabeth demanded. “You forgot Cameron, you didn’t come home last night—”

“I crashed at the club. I was with my Dad, and you didn’t really seem to need me.” Lucky shrugged. Closed his eyes. “Therapy’s been taking a lot out of me. Double sessions.”

“Yeah, but—”

“I’m sorry. I forgot Bobbie couldn’t keep him.” Lucky looked at her. “Did you have to leave work early?”

“Yeah, almost a half-hour. Not only did I lose that money, Lucky, but I also have a ton of paperwork I still have to do at the start of the next shift. You know that. Bobbie is doing us—me—a huge favor by taking him so much. I just—I asked you for one thing, Lucky. One. And you couldn’t manage that.”

He just stared at her without saying anything. Exhausted, Elizabeth shook her head and got to her feet. She went into the kitchen and started to pull together a meal for Cameron’s dinner. “I’m so tired,” she murmured. “And you don’t even seem to care.”

“I do care, but I can’t…I’m sorry,” Lucky repeated. But he didn’t get up. Didn’t even take his eyes off the television.

She let the subject drop because what would continuing the argument change? He didn’t care he’d cost her money, time and energy—that he’d proven, again, how much Cameron didn’t matter to him. She wanted to believe that it would be okay when Lucky went back to work—

But would it?

She stared at the fridge, at the photograph she’d pinned with a magnet of her wedding day. Of her and Lucky. That moment in time when she’d thought everything was perfect. Elizabeth put her hand on her own face, tracing the smile.

If it wasn’t for her son, Elizabeth wasn’t sure the last time she could remember smiling.

With her brain not occupied with her job, with being irritated with Lucky, it drifted back to the previous day.

She’d gone back to work after leaving the warehouse, but she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that terrible conversation she’d shared with Jason—of that moment he’d looked at her and told her—

“It means I loved you.”

God. He’d really thought it’d be better if they cleared the air? She’d rather go back to thinking that he’d loved Courtney. At least then she could blame someone else.

How was she ever going to face him? She couldn’t even get his voice out of her head.

It means I loved you.

I loved you.

Elizabeth took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts. “No point in thinking about it,” she reminded herself. It was over. She’d gone on with her life. She had her precious little boy and—

She looked out into the living room where her husband was sitting, She had her marriage. And Jason hadn’t exactly pined away for her either. He’d married another woman. Was engaged to a second one.

They’d both ended up where they were supposed to be, and it was no good to think about the road they hadn’t taken. It was just…she was tired. And things were hard with Lucky right now. She just needed to get through the next few weeks—

It means I loved you.

Elizabeth huffed. How many damn times she was going to have to tell herself to let this go? “I need to have my head examined,” she muttered as she set Cameron’s dinner on the table. “Cameron, come eat dinner!”

I loved you.

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bedroom

Sam was packing a duffel bag when Jason came upstairs later that afternoon. He frowned at the clothes strewn across the bed. “So, I guess you’re going.”

“Oh, he speaks.” Sam raised her brows. She shrugged, then shoved a pair of jeans into the bag. “Yeah, I’m going to Florida. The job is starting sometime next week, but…” She sighed. “I need a few more things in the guest room.”

She eyed him when he said nothing. “You know, where I’ve been sleeping for the last week.”

Jason nodded. “I know. You were mad after that fight with Sonny. About how I handled it. I didn’t know what to say to you. It felt like I was always making it worse—”

“So, what—you decided to just let it go? Hope I calmed down—”

Jason winced because yeah, that was pretty much how he’d decided to handle it, but now he could see now it was a mistake. “Sam—”

“Didn’t it bother you that I was angry?” Sam demanded. “That I was upset enough to move out of our bedroom for a week?”

Jason exhaled slowly. The answer was no, it hadn’t bothered him. He knew he handled things badly, but he’d been irritated with Sam about the way she’d spoken to Elizabeth, and yeah, the fact that she’d decided to go back to being a con artist—

“Sam—”

Sam growled and turned on him. “Let’s get this straight. I am pissed at you. You don’t get to be mad at me because I’m pulling a job. You forced my mother down my throat, you let your sister attack me, you’re calling me a mess to clean up, and you’re…I don’t know…up to something with your ex-girlfriend—” She stabbed a finger in his direction. “So just remember you’re the asshole, not me—”

Jason exhaled slowly. “Some of that is true,” he admitted. “I made a mistake with the DNA test, and I’ve apologized for that. I didn’t let Emily attack you—”

She rolled her eyes. “Sure—”

“She’s not allowed upstairs without permission from now on. I threw her out the first day, you threw her out the second day.” He shook his head. “I never called you a mess I had to clean up—”

“I know what I heard—”

“You know what Sonny said to you. I never said it.” He shook his head. “You know, I don’t know what to tell you, Sam. You’re mad at me for a lot of things that aren’t my fault—”

“What about Elizabeth?” Sam threw back at him. “You’re going to tell me I don’t have a reason to be mad at you about that?”

“I told you. Elizabeth has been passing me info about Manny Ruiz from the hospital—”

“Oh, sure—”

“And yesterday, she had something important I needed to know. She knew Skye was in danger, that Manny had something planned.” He grimaced. “And you wasted her time and mine by refusing to tell her where I was.”

Sam lifted her chin, her eyes a bit defiant. “She’s a big girl. She can take care of herself. And she had no problem ratting me out. What, did she come over to cry on your shoulder?” She rolled her eyes and returned to her packing.

Jason was surprised when he felt his hands fist at his side. “She’s never done anything to you. You’re angry at her about the maternity test, but she never would have run it if I told her it was for you. You’re angry at Emily, at Sonny—fine. Take it out on me. On them. But leave her out of it—”

“You don’t even hear yourself, do you?” Sam shook her head. “You know, I don’t get it. If the two of you were so obsessed with each other, why the hell did you leave her? Was she bad in bed or something?”

“I—” Jason’s voice faltered. He looked at this woman he’d asked to marry him, who just weeks ago, he would have told anyone was the love of his life. The woman who understood him. And it was like she was a stranger. “That’s not fair. And you know it.”

Sam squeezed her eyes shut, clenching a t-shirt in her hands. “I’m sorry,” she said finally. “I know you’re right. I know that—I know that you didn’t do anything. I just—it’s like I don’t even know who I am. I thought I did. I thought I had things figured out, but I don’t. And you and I—”

She looked at him, her dark eyes wet with tears. “We just can’t talk. I keep trying, and I know you’re trying. But everything we say to each other—it just feels wrong.”

Sam sucked in a shaky breath. “And then there’s this woman who’s important to you, and I didn’t even know that. I should have known that. I know about Carly and Robin, I know about Courtney. But it’s like…either she didn’t matter enough to talk about, or she mattered too much. And she’s back in your life, and you talk to her. And she gets you. I don’t get you anymore. Do you know what it’s like to watch you with her, to listen to you talk about her?”

Jason said nothing as Sam shook her head. “Why can’t you just be honest with me?”

“What am I supposed to say?” Jason asked in a dull voice. He didn’t want to have this conversation. He didn’t want to talk about Elizabeth at all, and he certainly didn’t want to get into it with Sam.

Not after the warehouse.

Because now it’s worse.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Elizabeth freaking Spencer? Did she matter too much, or did she mean nothing?”

Because I loved you, too.

He didn’t think there was an answer that would make her feel better, so Jason went with the truth. “She mattered too much,” he said finally. “It was easier not to think about her. So I didn’t.”

And we threw it away.

She waited, maybe to see if he’d say something else But he didn’t. So she nodded. “Thank you for not lying,” Sam said finally. She put a toiletry bag into her bag, then zipped it. “Are you sorry?”

Jason frowned. “For…what?”

“That it’s not her in this penthouse? That you didn’t marry her? Have a kid with her? Are you sorry that it’s me and not her standing in front of you?”

Jason scowled. “That’s—that’s not a fair question.”

“Maybe, but it’s a simple one. Yes or no. And you didn’t answer it. So maybe while I’m gone next week, you can figure out why—”

“Sam—” Jason stopped her by putting an arm on her hand. “Don’t do this, okay? Let’s just—” He took a deep breath because she’d—she’d been right. He hadn’t been fair to her or given her any real space to deal with any of this. “Just—let’s just talk. Okay? You’re right. We’re not talking.”

Sam’s mouth curved into a smirk. “You want to talk? Now? When you’ve made it clear how you feel about me doing this job?”

“I want to talk about why you don’t trust me—”

“I trust you,” Sam told him. “Hell, I even trust Elizabeth Spencer. But I don’t trust me. I’m going to ruin this, Jason. I ruin everything.”

“Sam—”

“But sure.” She set the bag down. “Sure. Let’s trying talking again.” Sam tilted her head to the side, let her hand slide down his t-shirt. “Or maybe we shouldn’t talk at all.”

Jason hesitated, just a moment, and her eyes hardened. She snatched up the bag and stalked out of the room. “Sam—”

“You had your chance,” she told him flatly as she walked into a guest room, tossed the bag on the bed. She put her hand on the door. “You don’t want me, fine. We can co-exist until I leave on Tuesday.”

“Sam, I never said—”

“Maybe I don’t want you,” she snarled, curling her hand around the edge of the door like a claw. “When I know you won’t be thinking of me when you’re screwing me. You know, maybe if you get drunk enough, you could even pretend—”

“Shut up,” Jason snapped, and Sam’s smirk only deepened—even as her dark eyes were wild with hurt and rejection. He hadn’t meant to do that—hadn’t wanted to hurt her at all. He just didn’t think jumping into bed was going to fix anything—

But now, as she slammed the door in his face, he didn’t know if what was wrong could be fixed. Or if even he even wanted it to be.

Monday, April 3, 2006

Lucky & Elizabeth’s Apartment: Bathroom

Elizabeth enjoyed having days off during the week — Lucky was gone all day, she could take Cameron with her to run errands and get some snuggle time with him. He was racing towards his second birthday, and next year, if she could get him into a nursery program, he’d be in school. Before she knew it, he’d be grown up.

But for right now, he was her whole world, and she was determined to make up for the haphazard treatment from his stepfather. “It’ll be different,” she told her reflection in the mirror. “When he gets back to work.”

And she wasn’t going to let herself think about what would happen if Lucky’s test next Friday didn’t come back more positively—if he didn’t make it back on active duty. That wasn’t something she could allow for.

She left the bathroom, walked through Cameron’s room, and into the living room where Cameron was constructing a Lego tower. “You ready to go to the bank, Cam?”

“No, want to stay and play.” Cameron furrowed his brow. “Stay here.”

“Mommy has things to do—” Elizabeth winced as her cell phone rang. She went over to her purse, hoping Epiphany wasn’t going to call her in. She didn’t recognize the number on the caller ID but answered it anyway. “Hello?”

“Hello? Elizabeth? It’s Skye.”

Elizabeth exhaled on a breath of relief. “Oh, hey. Skye. I was thinking about you the other day—”

“I just wanted to get in touch with you—I didn’t want you to worry when you didn’t see me around.” Skye waited a moment. “Thank you for telling me about Manny, and for encouraging me to tell Lorenzo. Jason got in touch with him and told him his own concerns, so I’m glad I was in front of it.”

“I’m just sorry I waited so long—”

“It’s all right, really. I’m safe. Lorenzo and I were planning to move to Miami later this year anyway. For a fresh start with our baby. We just decided to move it up several months. Thank you again for taking the time and—” Skye hesitated. “The risk. I’m worried about you, about what happened last week—”

“Don’t worry,” Elizabeth said.

“Lorenzo told me he’d offered Jason protection for you, but Jason assured him it was being handled. I supposed I just wanted to make sure—”

“I have a guard,” Elizabeth said with a wrinkle of her nose. She’d mostly been able to forget that. Cody followed her in his car and hung around the hospital, but she hadn’t really seen him other than that. “So don’t worry about me. Manny might still follow you to Miami.”

“Yes, well, I’ve taken your advice.” Skye’s end of the line fell silent. “All of it. I thought about the life I was choosing and whether it was one that I really wanted for me. For my daughter. Thank you. For taking the time to open up to me like that. I won’t forget it.”

“I’m glad I could help—”

“And I suppose I just wanted to—” Skye paused. “I don’t know. I wish there was something I could do in return. Something I could say that would mean as much. I just—I’m glad I made the choice. That I thought about it. I don’t want Lorenzo and our family to be one—not taking the chance to be something I regret.”

“I’m glad,” Elizabeth repeated. Her throat swelled. “Life is too short,” she managed, “for those kinds of regrets.”

“It is. Thank you again for taking the chance and helping me. If you ever need anything, you only have to ask.”

Kelly’s: Parking Lot

Jason swung his leg over his bike, adjusting the kickstand so that it stayed upright. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a dark sedan pull into another parking spot, on the other side, two down from his spot.

The same sedan he’d seen at the warehouse. And parked outside the Towers when he’d left the parking garage that morning.

Jason exhaled slowly and walked towards the diner. Instead of going through the courtyard, he headed for the alley behind the building. He quickened his pace—just slightly—so that it wasn’t noticed but so that he could gain a few extra seconds.

Once he was in the alley, he ducked down behind the dumpster—and waited.

Until he heard footsteps. They stopped halfway down the alley, just feet away from him—as if the person following him wasn’t sure if he’d simply lost Jason or if he’d gone inside the restaurant using the back door.

Jason frowned, realizing he knew the man—

And when his pursuer was only two or three feet away, Jason shot out of hiding, the momentum of his movement propelling him across the alley as he crashed into the man and shoved him against the brick back wall of Kelly’s.

“Why the hell are you following me?” he demanded, as he shook the guard. He narrowed his eyes.

“Uh—uh—” Jimmy, one of the younger guards hired in the last six months—looked back and forth, his eyes bulging as Jason cut off the air to his windpipe. “Orders.”

Jason released the pressure slightly, stepping back. “Whose?” he demanded.

“Mr. Corinthos—”

Jason let Jimmy crash to the ground as the younger man rolled onto all fours, gasping for air. “How long?”

“Just since Saturday.” Jimmy looked up at him, his face white. “I’m sorry—”

“Tell Francis you need to go through the training again. I made you five minutes after you started following me. You need to change cars—” Disgusted, Jason shook his head. “Do you know why I didn’t kick your ass five hours ago?”

“Uh—”

“Because—” Jason leaned down. “I wanted you to think I was going about my day so that I could ambush you. If I’d been anyone else, you’d be dead right now. You get it?”

“Yeah—yeah—”

“Go back to Francis.”

And then Jason stalked back down the alley, back towards his bike. He had someone to see.

May 22, 2020

This entry is part 9 of 33 in the For the Broken Girl: Reflections of You

Maybe I’ve been here before
I know this room, I’ve walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Rufus Wainwright


Thursday, March 30, 2006

General Hospital: Nurse’s Hub

Elizabeth’s smile was quick and warm as Skye stepped up to her at the nurse’s station. “This is starting to be a regular occurrence,” she teased the other woman. “Are you following me?”

“Of course,” Skye said with a laugh as she put a hand on the strap of her purse, holding it to her shoulder. “I’ve decided my approach to motherhood is just to find the best one and follow her around.”

“Hardly the best,” Elizabeth replied as her cheeks flushed. “Are you looking for Alan again?”

“No, today, I’m actually on my way to an appointment with my OB, Kelly Lee. Do you know her? She just took over for Dr. Meadows.”

“I do. She’s the absolute best. You’re in good hands.” Elizabeth frowned. “But you’re on the wrong floor. She’s on the fourth—”

“Oh, I know that, but I know you work up here, and I just…” Skye sighed. “I felt a bit…I don’t know…guilty about all those personal questions I asked you at Kelly’s. It really wasn’t any of my business—”

It hadn’t been, but… “And if I hadn’t wanted to answer them, I wouldn’t have. It’s really okay, Skye.” Elizabeth grimaced. “Unfortunately, it’s something I’ve been dealing with all week, so really — it’s fine.”

“Is everything okay?” Skye asked, lifting her brows. “Is it about Emily? You know the mansion is in an uproar over her relationship with Sonny. I offered my support, but she didn’t seem particularly interested. I know she’s arguing with Jason. She keeps telling everyone that no one is on her side, not even Sonny’s best friend.”

“Yeah, she’s been having some pretty vicious fights with…well, everyone.” Elizabeth shook her head. “You know the Quartermaines and how they fight.”

“Yeah, they stick together like glue except when they’re attacking each other. I’ve never seen a family more vicious. It’s like…” Skye shook her head with a rueful smile. “It’s like a game they play. How can I hurt this person as much as I’m hurting? And double points if you make them cry or storm out.”

“Yeah, well, Emily might be adopted, but she’s a pro.” Elizabeth shrugged. “Anyway. You had questions, Skye. I’m just sorry I couldn’t answer them—”

“No, you did. More than you realize. You made me…” Skye hesitated. “You know, it starts out like this…secret. This moment you share with someone else that you never would have pictured in your life. And you make this connection.” She bit her lip. “But then…something happens, and you’re forced to confront all the other parts of their life.”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth looked at Skye, clenching the pen more tightly in her hand. “That’s usually how it starts. By the time you remember what they do…”

“You’re already hooked.” Skye tipped her head. “But you were right, you know. That I had to think about whether I really accepted Lorenzo and his life. That I couldn’t pretend who he was wasn’t related to what he does for a living. I don’t think I’d thought about it that way before.”

“So, what did you decide?” Elizabeth asked.

“I’m not sure I have made a decision, to be honest. I know that the world isn’t simple,” Skye told her. “That things are never…all one thing or another. I do know that Lorenzo is a good man who didn’t…entirely pick this life. I know he’s tried to live another life. But this is who he was when I met him. It’s not fair to hold it against him now.”

“No, but it would be fair to decide not to make it your life,” Elizabeth pointed out. “I’m sure he is a good man. I know he was kind to Carly at a time he needed her. But I also know some of the damage he’s tried to do. I mean…”

“He’s the reason the Ruiz family came to Port Charles,” Skye finished. “I didn’t know you knew that.”

“I—” Elizabeth bit her lip. “Look…I think you should know, and maybe I should have told you—but the last two times we’ve talked, I’ve seen Manny Ruiz hanging around you.”

Skye straightened, her lips pressed together in a thin line. “You have?”

“I tried to tell Lucky, but—the cops just can’t do anything.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “So I told Jason. And…we talked about…well, anyway, you should be careful. And you should tell Lorenzo. You really should have a guard.”

“Yeah, I…” Skye exhaled slowly. “Yeah. I can…” She frowned. “You told Jason? Really?”

“I didn’t know if he’d do anything,” Elizabeth lied. It felt better than telling her that Sonny and Jason hadn’t felt like she was important enough to protect. “I felt better knowing he…was involved. I’m sorry—I should have said something—”

“No, no, I understand. And I appreciate the concern. You’re right. I should tell Lorenzo. I will.” Skye hesitated. “You said before…that I…had the right to decide that this doesn’t have to be my life.”

“This thing with Manny? It won’t be the last time someone tries to hurt you to get at Lorenzo. It doesn’t happen often, but there will always be someone who will go after you. And maybe even your child.”

Skye pressed her hand to her abdomen, some of her color sliding from her already pale face. “So I should…leave him?”

Elizabeth hesitated. “Plenty of people will tell you to do that. I won’t. It’s your life, Skye, and it’s your family. Whatever you decide to do, don’t… don’t let it be someone else’s choice.”

Skye slowly nodded. “You really did love him, didn’t you?” she murmured.

Elizabeth stared at her for a long moment. “Why do you say that?”

“Because you’re just…so nonchalant about all of this. You’ve lived through this, and it…it doesn’t faze you. You were—you said you were kidnapped. Shot at. Nearly blown up.”

“I—” Elizabeth bit her lip. “Yeah. I really loved him. I accepted everything. And I would have—” Done whatever she needed to do to be in his life. To be a part of it. “But it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“No, I guess not.” Skye sighed. “Thank you, Elizabeth. I appreciate the time you’ve given me. The advice. I should get to my appointment—”

She turned and stopped suddenly as the janitor’s cart came around the corner, pushed by Manny Ruiz. The custodian smiled as he looked at the two of them. “Well, hello, pretty ladies.”

Skye just stared at him while Elizabeth picked up a pair of scissors that were lying on the hub counter, then let her hand fall to her side. “Manny. I thought you were on the Pediatrics floor today.”

“You know my schedule. I’m touched.” Manny pressed a hand to his chest with another smile. It might have been charming on another man, but his eyes were as cold as a shark’s. “What do such pretty ladies have to talk about?”

“Skye, why don’t you get going?” Elizabeth told her. “As long as Manny is up here, he can help me.” Her pulse racing as she locked eyes with the amused psycho. “We-we need a clean up in one of the post-op cubicles.”

“Anything for such a lovely face. You know, Elizabeth, you’re always so sweet to me. Smiling when we see each other.” Manny’s smile deepened. “It’d be nice if everyone was as polite as you.”

“Skye, you don’t want to be late.”

“No,” Skye breathed. “No, I don’t.” She turned and stalked towards the elevators. She jabbed the button.

“Manny, I’ll show you where we need you,” Elizabeth said. She picked up a file with her free hand, then brought it to her chest, managing to slip the scissors inside.

Just in case.

Courtland Street: Alley

Santiago smirked as he sauntered towards their meeting spot. “Again? My friend, I think you have a problem.”

Lucky scowled and shoved his hand into his pocket for his wallet, drawing out the last of the cash he’d earned after pawning his wedding ring. He was right — Elizabeth was working so much and so tired all the time—she hadn’t even noticed the absence of his wedding ring.

He hated how hard she had to work and told himself everything he was doing right now was so she wouldn’t have to do that anymore. She deserved better from him. As soon as he got back to work, he’d make it up to her.

He’d even finally accept Nikolas’s offer for a second honeymoon—a real honeymoon. Wherever she wanted.

“You screwed me the last time,” Lucky shot back. “You were supposed to give me twenty pills. There’s no way you gave me enough.”

Santiago’s brows shot up. “I did give you twenty pills, mi amigo. You got a problem,” he repeated, then shrugged. “But it’s profitable to me, so whatever.” He held out his hand. “Pay up—”

Lucky blinked. Had he really gone through twenty pills in four days? Damn it. “I’ve been doubling up on my therapy sessions,” he muttered as he slapped the five twenties into Santiago’s hand. “I got a week to pass my physical and get back to work.”

“Sure, sure. Until then, maybe you want something stronger?” Santiago prompted. He dipped down into a crate just behind a cluster of trash cans, then drew out a cardboard tube that looked like a toilet paper roll.

Lucky knew what it was immediately from his patrol days. “Fuck that. I’m not a drug addict. I don’t need to smoke that shit.”

“You sure? You don’t wanna chase the dragon?” Santiago shrugged. “You’re a good customer. I’d give you this one for free.” He pushed it towards Lucky. “You said you wanted the pain to go away.”

“I am not a drug addict,” Lucky repeated. He held out his hand. “There’s an asshole doctor who refuses to give me a prescription any other doctor would give me. He probably wants to screw my wife.”

“Yeah, she’s the pretty nurse, right?” Santiago grinned, a gold tooth flashing. “I can see why he’d want to dick you over. You get back to work, buy the pretty lady something nice.”

Lucky stared at the cardboard tube. He knew it was wrong. He knew all the reasons why he should walk away. Shouldn’t even take the pills Santiago was selling him.

It was one thing to justify the pain pills he was buying. He had a right to that relief—the asshole Drake was denying him treatment—but if he smoked the heroin…

He was a week away from his final deadline—April 7, Mac had made it clear. And the pain still wasn’t going away. He’d doubled up on the therapy, but he couldn’t always get through the second session. He’d seen guys get stabbed high on heroin and not feel a thing.

He just…he wanted to feel that way once. For the first time in five months—not to feel any pain—God, wasn’t it worth the try?

He’d do anything to make the pain stop.

“You’d spot me this once?” Lucky said, finally.

“Sure.” Santiago gave it to him. “Try it before you go. Just to make sure.” He took out a lighter, then flicked the igniter, his face lighting up in the shadows of the alley. “What do you say?”

Morgan Penthouse: Hallway

Elizabeth tapped her foot as she waited for the door to open. It had been an excruciating ten minutes spent with Manny Ruiz as the custodian had cleaned up the mess she hadn’t been lying about. She didn’t need to stay with him, but if he was with her—he wasn’t with Skye.

But Manny made her skin crawl, and she was worried that she’d made this worse—that she’d done exactly what Jason had told her not to do. She’d made Manny look at her, and not Skye.

Jason was going to kill her.

She’d debated for exactly thirty seconds whether or not she should tell Jason about the whole thing. They hadn’t spoken or seen each other since that incredibly awkward and painful conversation on the docks the week before, and Elizabeth was really hoping to keep that streak going.

But then she’d remembered Jason making it very clear that she was not to get involved or bring attention to herself with Manny. She was pretty sure that standing in a room alone with him for ten minutes while Manny’s target got away was the definition of getting involved.

So she’d told Epiphany everything, and her supervisor had practically ordered her to call him. When Jason didn’t answer his cell phone or get back to her within twenty minutes, Epiphany had sent Elizabeth to find him, promising to cover for her.

Epiphany didn’t like her son’s line of work, but she liked Manny Ruiz even less after being held hostage by him in the operating room. Jason and Sonny were the only people that might be able to keep them safe. Epiphany was a practical woman.

Elizabeth sighed in relief when Sam opened the door. “Hey. I’m so sorry to just show up like this—”

“How did you get up here?” Sam demanded. She didn’t open the door any wider, and Elizabeth blinked at her harsh tone. “We’re just letting cop’s wives have the run of the place?”

“I—” Elizabeth pressed her lips together. “I don’t know. I guess…they never…revoked my access.”

“Oh, right, from when you lived with Jason. Yeah, I heard all about it from his sister. Funny, you never told me that. Jason didn’t, either.” Sam arched her brows. “You here to plead Emily’s case? Make me see that I should be nicer to her?”

“No, I actually—I haven’t talked to Emily since…” Elizabeth frowned. “Sam, I’m sorry. I’m not exactly sure why you’re so angry with me.”

“Because it’s like playing fucking Whack-a-Mole. I’ve gone my entire life in Port Charles not having to know you, and now I can’t get rid of you,” Sam shot back. “I get it. You used to date my fiance. You don’t anymore, so why the hell are you still around?”

“Uh…” Elizabeth blinked, then remembered that she’d run the maternity test for Jason on Sam’s behalf. Maybe Sam was just mad that she’d done that for him—or—

Sam had looked pretty irritated when she’d found her and Jason talking on the pier the week before. But Elizabeth really didn’t get it.

“Um, listen, I just…I need to talk to Jason, okay? Whatever fight you two are having has nothing to do with me, okay?” Elizabeth held up her hands in mock surrender. “I’m just—he wasn’t answering his phone.”

“Maybe you should buy a clue then and stop chasing after him. God, you’re married to a cop.” Sam narrowed her eyes. “What, he’s not satisfying you? You couldn’t make Jason happy before. So, why are you bothering him now?”

“I’m—” Stung, Elizabeth took a step back. “I’m gonna go.”

“You do that. And while you’re at it, don’t come back.” Sam slammed the door, the sound of the heavy oak hidden the frame like a jolt Elizabeth felt down to her bones.

What. The. Hell.

Elizabeth squeezed her eyes shut. You couldn’t make Jason happy before. Jesus Christ, did everyone know?

“That’s not important,” she muttered as she went back to the elevator. She just—she just wanted to talk to Jason about Skye. And Manny. And once Manny Ruiz was out of their lives for good, she’d go back to ignoring Jason’s existence.

And maybe this time, she’d be able to forget him for good.

Warehouse: Jason’s Office

Cody Paul, one of the guards assigned to the offices, knocked on Jason’s ajar door. “Hey, Elizabeth Webber is here to see you.”

Jason frowned, got to his feet, then took his phone out of his pocket, then winced. He had two missed calls from her — and one from Sam. “Did something happen? Is she okay? Let her in,” he added before Cody could answer either of the first two questions.

“Nothing happened that I know of,” Cody said as he gestured with a free hand towards the outside office. “He’ll see you now, Miss Webber.”

“Thanks.” Elizabeth strode in, dressed in a pair of pink scrubs, a white jacket hanging open over them. She had a white knit hat clenched in her hands, twisting it back and forth. “I’m sorry to just show up like this, but—”

“You tried to call,” he finished. “I’m sorry. I had—I had some things to do, and I—” Had been ignoring his calls, not wanting to talk to Sam. Or anyone else. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. We get busy. I, um,” Elizabeth bit her lip, pausing. Their eyes met, then she looked away, her cheeks flushing. “I’m sorry, I don’t have a lot of time. Epiphany is covering my shift, and I—I think I did that thing you told me not to do, and I’m sorry.”

Jason frowned again. He hadn’t expected to see her again, not after their last conversation on the docks. If she was here now—

He rounded the desk and took the hat from her, setting it on the desk. “Sit down. What’s going on?”

With a heavy sigh, Elizabeth set her purse and coat down on the sofa but didn’t take a seat. “I was talking to Skye at the hospital—she had an appointment and came up to…talk to me about something. Just—that part isn’t important,” she said quickly. “We were talking for a few minutes, and when she turned to go, she ran right into Manny. We didn’t even see him coming—he had to be just around a corner or something.”

“Okay,” Jason said slowly. He put his hands at his waist and squinted, not really sure how this was making anything worse. “And then what?”

“And then I was afraid if Skye went downstairs to her appointment, Manny would follow her. I told him I had something for him to do. So he had to come to clean a room. And I stayed with him until he was done, until I was sure Skye was at her appointment. And then I called Alan to make sure he’d be there to walk her out.”

Jason stared at her for a long moment. “What do you mean exactly by you stayed with Manny until he was done?”

“I mean, I stood in the room to make sure he did it.”

“You were alone with him.”

“Um…” Elizabeth bit her lip again and slide her gaze away. “For…a few minutes. Yes.”

He closed his eyes. “What was the one thing I asked you not to do?”

“Not to get involved, but in my defense, I also told you that I wasn’t going to sit by and let someone get hurt—”

“Elizabeth—”

“And I was fine. I took scissors with me. I hid them, so he didn’t know I had them. But I was armed—”

“With a pair of scissors,” Jason muttered. He stalked forward and yanked open the door. “Cody!”

“Yeah, boss?”

“You’re on Elizabeth until further notice.”

“Um…” Cody glanced at the irritated brunette behind Jason. “Okay.”

“That is entirely unnecessary,” Elizabeth told him as Jason turned back to her and closed the door. “I don’t need a guard—”

“It was bad enough when we thought maybe he was letting you see him on purpose. But you made a point to separate him from Skye. You put yourself between him and Skye. That kind of thing pisses him off.”

“Which is why I’m here telling you. And I also told Skye that he was following her. That she should tell Alcazar.” Elizabeth scowled. “And why doesn’t he already have a guard on her? She’s pregnant! What kind of mobster is he?”

Jason’s irritation only deepened. “Elizabeth—”

“Oh, I’m not supposed to say that out loud, I guess. Sorry. What does he pretend he really does? You’re coffee importers. What’s he again?”

She returned his glare with a bland expression. “That doesn’t matter. You told her to tell Alcazar?”

“Yes. I should have done it earlier, after we—after you said—” She gritted her teeth. “After we talked last week. But after Skye and I were talking today, I just knew I had to do something—” She shook her head. “But maybe I should have just let her deal with it—”

“I—” Jason hesitated, then leaned against the desk. “I’m meeting Alcazar tomorrow to tell him. It’s already set up.”

She stared at him for a long moment. “I thought you said this wasn’t your problem.”

“I said that’s what Sonny said.” Jason exhaled slowly. “And he was technically right — Skye’s safety should be Alcazar’s priority. But I decided I wasn’t comfortable waiting for him to get around to it. So I arranged a meeting.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth folded her arms, shifted her weight from one foot to another. “Oh,” she repeated.

“But you knew I’d change my mind,” Jason told her. When she frowned at him, “You’re here, aren’t you?”

“I—” A breath of air escaped her lips as she looked at her hands. “I wasn’t going to. Epiphany basically forced me. And then I called you, but you didn’t answer.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized again, but she shook her head.

“No, it’s—look, I know what I said about you not thinking this mattered, but I guess—” She paused. “I knew that if I got myself in trouble, I could at least—” She lifted a shoulder. “I could tell you.”

“I’m glad,” Jason told her when she met his eyes. They held for a moment. “I know I told you not to help—but I know you didn’t feel like you had a choice. And I’m glad you told Skye. She’ll tell him what happened today, and he’ll be more likely to listen to me.”

“Right. So that’s…all taken care of then.” Elizabeth went to pick up her coat and purse, then sighed. She muttered something to herself. She turned back to him. “Listen. Is Sam mad at me or something?”

“No,” Jason said, but then he paused, a slow sinking dread rising in his throat. “Why?”

“Because I went to the penthouse first—” her cheeks flushed. “She was mad that the guards let me upstairs, and then mad that I was looking for you. She said—” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “Never mind.”

“What did Sam say?” Jason pressed. He stepped in front of the door, blocking any exit she might try to make. “Elizabeth.”

“She told me to stop chasing after you. More or less.” Elizabeth finally looked at him, her eyes filled with confusion. “Why would she say that? Why—” She sighed. “This is about Emily, isn’t it? Emily said something.” Her cheeks drained. “Oh my God, I didn’t even think about it—Emily said all that—about—well, she said it in front of Sam—”

“Yeah, it’s been…” Jason sighed. He dragged his hands through his hair. “It’s been a long week. Sam and I are fighting about a lot of things. She’s…I guess I never really told her—I don’t know. It never came up.”

“Well, no, why would it?” Elizabeth blinked, then tried to step around him again, but Jason didn’t budge. “Look, I’m sorry Sam is mad at me. Or you. Or the world. And I’ll just avoid her until this cools down—”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea, but—” Jason grimaced. “Look, I know you said you don’t want to talk about it—”

“And I don’t.” Elizabeth shook her head. “So we’re not going to talk about it—”

“But I think we should—”

“Oh my God, what is everyone’s obsession with this right now?” Elizabeth demanded. She threw her bag and coat back on the sofa with a huff. “It’s been four years—”

“Three and a half,” Jason corrected, but she wasn’t listening to him anyway.

“And it was like this….blip that didn’t even go anywhere, but every time I turn around, Emily’s throwing at your face like a goddamn bomb, Sam is accusing me of something, and Lucky still thinks I’m picking you over him, Skye’s coming to me for advice, and now you—you want to talk about it!”

She jabbed a finger at him, her face flushed, and hair falling out of the messy updo it had been fastened in when she came in. “Blip?” he repeated because it was the only part of her tirade that he could really take in. “What does that mean?”

“Oh, man—” Elizabeth slumped onto the sofa and put her head into her hands. “I really did something to the universe this time. I pissed someone off, didn’t I?”

“Elizabeth—” He stopped. “Wait, why is Skye asking you for advice?”

“Who knows,” Elizabeth muttered and got back to her feet. “None of it matters. It’s over. It never even started. You told Courtney that once, remember? Well, you were right, and I got the message—”

She started past him again, but he grabbed her elbow and swung her back around. “What—what do you mean—how do you know what I said to Courtney?”

“I am going to staple my mouth shut.” Elizabeth pressed her lips together in a mutinous line. “I told you, Jason, I don’t want to talk about this—”

“I think we need to—”

“Why? Why do you want to hash this out now? What good could it possibly do?” She threw up her hands.

“I don’t know,” Jason admitted. “Probably none. But—” He paused. “Ever since we talked on the docks, since you told me—”

Elizabeth pressed her hands over her face with a low moan. “Oh, man—”

“I was not falling in love with Courtney while you were at the penthouse.”

Jason’s flat statement had Elizabeth lower her hands slightly so she could peer at him suspiciously. “What?”

“I never even thought about her that way until—until it came out of nowhere. In…December. After you made it clear at Luke’s that we were done.”

“You—” Her eyes widened, and she stabbed a finger in his direction. “You got married to Brenda—what the hell was I supposed to say—”

“Now, why the hell is Skye asking you for advice?” Jason demanded, losing his patience. “And is she telling Alcazar anything?”

Elizabeth blinked at him, shook her head a little. “What—why would—why would he care? And no, she’s not—” Her hands fell to her side, and resignation crept into her expression. “She didn’t think there was anyone else who would tell her the truth. And since I was a mother, I might be honest with her. She asked me about having a child with a man in this life since you and I used to date, and I guess she thought this was something we might have talked about.”

“Oh.” He was the flustered one now. “I—”

“I don’t think that’s something Alcazar would be interested in. Since she’s trying to decide if she’s having second thoughts. I told her that I wasn’t a good person to ask since—” With an exhausted sigh, Elizabeth continued, “since you and I never got that far.”

“Oh,” he repeated. He didn’t know what to say now. He wanted to ask her what her answer would have been if they—if they had gotten that far. But that was wildly irrelevant, and he couldn’t for the life of him think why it mattered—

Except Jason realized now that she’d all but told him she’d been in love with him that fall they’d briefly been together and, for years, she’d believed he’d been in love with someone else. And…he hated the idea that she didn’t know. That she’d never known how he’d felt then.

They stared at each for a long moment before Jason finally gave in to the desperate need to know. “What would your answer have been?” When she frowned, he continued, “If…we had talked about it.”

Elizabeth inhaled sharply, and he flinched. She wouldn’t answer, of course—it was none of his damn business—she was married. He was engaged.

But, for whatever reason, she answered the question.

“I told her that your way of life didn’t bother me. Not the way it probably should have. I told Skye that she needed to make sure that she wasn’t pretending Alcazar wasn’t who he was.” Her eyes shimmered. “Because if you walk into this life, you have to do it eyes wide open. What you do is not who you are, but it’s part of it. And if you ignore that, well…then it’s not real. You’re not real. And it won’t last.”

“That’s—” Jason rubbed his chest, his throat feeling tight. “I—”

“You never wanted to have this conversation back then, Jason. Because you were happier thinking I was stupid or reckless. So I guess it doesn’t matter what my answer would have been. You weren’t asking the question. You were never going to.”

She pushed past him and grabbed her coat and purse.

“I didn’t think you wanted me to.” He swallowed hard. “Elizabeth—”

“Well, we’ve had the conversation now. Great. You weren’t in love with Courtney back then. But you still—” Elizabeth stopped at the door and looked at him. “You still didn’t love me. So why are we doing this—”

“I didn’t know—” Jason bit back the words because they couldn’t possibly be useful now, but he just…he couldn’t stand that she didn’t know what she’d meant to him. “I didn’t know you needed the words.”

A tear slid down her cheek. “What does that mean?”

“It means I loved you. Then. I didn’t know you needed to hear it. I didn’t—I thought you’d know. But maybe I just wanted you to say it first.” He hesitated, but he couldn’t help himself. “You always mattered.”

Another tear fell down her cheek. “We never should have talked about this.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

“But—” His voice sounded broken as he tried to force out the words. “It’s better to be honest, isn’t it?”

“No. Because now it’s worse. Because I didn’t know before. And now I do. Because I loved you, too. And we threw it away.”

She yanked open the door, and this time, he let her leave. He nodded to Cody, who followed Elizabeth out of the building.

Jason closed the door behind her, then turned to find her hat still sitting on his desk. He picked it up, then carefully put it into the drawer of his desk.

She was right. They shouldn’t have talked about it. Some things were better left in the dark.

May 20, 2020

This entry is part 8 of 33 in the For the Broken Girl: Reflections of You

Second chances they don’t ever matter, people never change
Once a whore, you’re nothing more, I’m sorry that’ll never change
And about forgiveness, we’re both supposed to have exchanged
I’m sorry honey, I passed out, now look this way
Misery Business, Paramore


Monday, March 27, 2006

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

“Carly, there’s nothing more I can do—” Jason pinched the bridge of his nose and looked across the room to Sam, who was still not talking to him—another problem he couldn’t solve.

She’d arrived home before him after that terrible scene at Sonny’s, gone upstairs to the guest room to sleep. That had been two days ago. She hadn’t looked at him, spoken to him, or returned to their bedroom.

And he honestly had no idea how to fix that.

Unfortunately for him, Carly had no problems with her communication. She was angry about the articles, about the insinuations, about the fact that Michael was getting snickers about his father at school and at basketball practice. This was very upsetting to Carly because Michael started a new school this year, and while Jason had no memories of elementary school, apparently sixth graders were vicious bullies.

“There’s always something to do,” Carly snapped. “You’re supposed to be the most feared enforcer on the goddamn Eastern seaboard. Why can’t you kidnap your idiot sister—”

“I’m hanging up now,” Jason told her before pressing end on his phone and setting it on the desk. He sighed and looked at Sam, who had turned her head to him. “Carly thinks I should kidnap Emily.”

Sam raised her brows, then sighed. “I’d ask why Carly cares, but she’s predictable. She might not want Sonny, but no one else gets him either. It’s the same crap she pulled two years ago.”

Relieved Sam was talking to him, even if it was in a flat tone of voice, Jason took a seat at the other end of the sofa and continued. “She says it’s because of the boys. Because of how much they love Emily. And every time a woman comes into Sonny’s life, she ends up leaving and never coming back.”

Sam snorted. “She’s not wrong. And you agree with her.”

Dangerous territory. Jason took a deep breath. “I agree that we need to make this stop. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” He paused. “I’m sorry. About that scene with Emily, and then with Sonny—”

“I’m not a mess you need to clean up,” Sam said. She glared at him. “And if that’s why we’re together—because you like a damsel in distress, then you should go. Or I should go.”

“I never said—”

“I’m no one’s fucking damsel.” She shoved herself to her feet and started to pace. “I can take care of myself, Jason. I can always take care of myself. You think I can’t because I moved in with you and pretended to be all weak and alone, but I’m not fucking helpless—”

Warily, Jason also stood. “I never said—”

“Because I played Sonny like a goddamn cheap violin, and if it hadn’t been for Carly—” Sam broke off, shook her head. “Anyway.”

Jason grimaced. “Sam, c’mon. I know what you said to Sonny yesterday, but I was there, and I know you—”

She scowled. “I played you, too. I knew exactly what to do, to say, to make sure I could stay right across the hall from Sonny. I thought I could—” She pursed her lips. “Emily was wrong. I didn’t—I don’t think I used my daughter. Not after she was gone. But before, I know I did.”

Jason just stared at her. What the hell did he say to that? “Sam—”

“You can’t make your sister or Sonny do what you want to do. You’re right. This will be a disaster. But you’re wrong, and Carly’s wrong. You need to just let this go. Let whatever is going to happen happen. Because I am not interested in being in the middle of any of this—”

He blinked at the change in conversation, then shook his head. “I don’t know if I can just sit back—there are things going on—”

“What choice do you have?” Sam demanded. “What choice do any of us have? Sonny is going to do whatever the hell he wants. You know that. And judging from your sister, I mean, she’s going to do the same. So, hey, maybe they are a match made in heaven.”

Jason had no idea how to handle this bitter and angry Sam, but he knew he had to say something—

He was interrupted by a knock on the door. Sam walked past him to open the door and scowled when she found Emily standing on the threshold. Jason shot to his feet. “What do you want?” Sam demanded.

“I came to see if my brother has calmed down enough to have a civil conversation.” Emily eyed Sam up and down, taking in her disheveled dark hair and gray sweats. Sam’s scowl deepened, and Jason strode forward, a bit worried they would have a repeat of before.

“Emily—”

“Look, it was pointed out to me that I have a habit of…” Emily pursed her lips. “Going for the jugular when I’m angry. I don’t like taking my problems out on my friends or…” She arched a brow. “Whatever you are.”

Sam snorted, folded her arms, and rolled her eyes but remained silent.

“I talked to Sonny last night—” Emily said, and Jason clenched his jaw. “He said you went over and threw a tantrum. You demanded he stop seeing me. And I’m sure he told you to go to hell. So I’m wondering if you’re going to stop being a jerk—”

“Is this you apologizing?” Sam demanded. “Because, wow, it sounds like more of the same—”

“I am not talking to you, Sam,” Emily snapped. “Nobody asked you.” She squeezed her eyes shut, took a deep breath. “I get that you don’t like what’s happening here. You’re not alone, okay? Mom and Dad are angry. Grandfather can barely look at me. Carly came all the way to the hospital yesterday to chew me out, and, of course, Elizabeth took your side like she always does.”

“I’m sorry you’re unhappy,” Jason said flatly. “But none of us are wrong.”

All of you are wrong. You know, I expected it from the Quartermaines. They’ll hate Sonny until the day they die. Whatever. But you—God, you and Elizabeth.” Emily’s eyes burned. “I really thought you would be there for me. That you’d be angry at first, but that you’d understand that what Sonny and I have is real—”

“I never said it wasn’t,” Jason interrupted. “But that doesn’t mean he’s not going to hurt you.”

“You think you can be in love with someone and not hurt each other?” Emily demanded. “You think you’re so damned perfect? What about what you did to Robin, huh? Or lying to Courtney about sleeping with this—” She bit off whatever word she was about to say. “Or cheating on Elizabeth with Courtney? You think you’ve never hurt anyone—”

Jason blinked and shook his head. “I never—what are you talking about? I never cheated on Elizabeth.” Stunned, he swallowed hard. “Did she tell you that?”

That’s the part you’re focusing on?” Sam demanded. “How about the part where she called me a whore again?”

“I—” Jason looked at his irate fiancée. “I didn’t—”

“Elizabeth didn’t have to tell me,” Emily snarled. She jabbed a finger at him. “How dumb do you think I am? She moved out in October. And then you were with Courtney five seconds later. Why do you think she left?”

“Elizabeth lived with you? What—” Sam held up her hands. “Wait a second.”

“It wasn’t—” Jason bit off the protest. “It wasn’t like that.”

“Sure. Because you are so perfect. You cheated on Robin with Carly. On Elizabeth with Courtney. Hey, maybe you were actually sleeping with this skank before you left Courtney. Where do you get off acting like some sort of saint who’s never hurt anyone?” Emily’s eyes burned into his. “You don’t get to walk around telling other people what to do. I came here to see if you’d calmed down. Obviously—”

“It’s time for you to go,” Sam declared. She grabbed Emily’s arm and shoved her across the threshold. “If he’s not going to do it, I will. And don’t bother stopping by anymore. You won’t be allowed past the lobby without permission again.” She slammed the door shut, then whirled on Jason.

“I—” Jason couldn’t quite take in what had just happened. How it had all turned on him. He knew—He knew that Emily and Sonny was a bad idea. He knew he had to stop it. But—

“Why the hell did you let her stay after she went after me again?” Sam demanded. “And why didn’t you tell me you lived with Elizabeth? And what the hell does that mean about Robin and Carly—” She narrowed her eyes. “Did you let her stay so you could find out exactly what Elizabeth told her?”

“She’s…” Jason exhaled slowly, trying to wrap his head around the scene that had just played out. “She’s my sister, Sam. I just—I just—I don’t know. Maybe.” He hadn’t thought about those last few weeks with Elizabeth in…years—not until a few weeks ago when Elizabeth had brought up the lie about Sonny—the lie he’d told her.

Did she really think—

“Hey.” Sam snapped her fingers, bringing his attention back. “Focus, Jason. Because whatever Emily said about before, it doesn’t change the fact that every time she goes after you, I end up in the crosshairs. I just told you—I do not want to be part of any of this bullshit. And you just let her continue to attack me so you could…what…pump for her information?”

“No, that’s not—” Except that’s exactly what he’d done, and he felt low. He scrubbed his hands over his face, took another deep breath. “You’re right. I’m sorry. She’s my sister, and she knows exactly what to say to me.”

“Yeah, Emily wasn’t wrong about always going for the jugular. It sounds like she went after her best friend, along with me. And now you.” Sam rubbed the heel of her hand against her chest. “And now she’s probably off to another victim. I mean it, Jason. I don’t want her just showing up here. Not until you figure out how to deal with it.”

“Yeah, I’ll tell Wally downstairs. Listen, about—about what she said—it’s true about Robin and Carly. Not in the way Emily means. But I hurt Robin a lot.” Jason shook his head. “But I would never do that again. Not to anyone. I didn’t cheat on Elizabeth. Or Courtney.”

“No, but you do have a way of avoiding being alone.” Sam tipped her head. “I didn’t realize things were so serious with Elizabeth. You said it didn’t go anywhere.”

“It didn’t,” Jason said flatly.

“But she lived with you! And thinks you cheated on her—” She threw up her hands. “Why is this the first time I’m hearing about any of this?”

“Because it’s over.” Jason shook his head. “And I can’t change any of it, so why bother talking about it?”

Sam narrowed her eyes, but he didn’t volunteer anymore. He wondered if she was thinking about the conversation he’d had on the docks with Elizabeth and their argument about it. “I’m gonna go take a shower. You go to work. And keep your sister away from me while she’s foaming at the mouth. Let her go attack someone else for a change.”

General Hospital: Locker Room

Elizabeth’s shift was scheduled to start at the same time as Emily’s, so she found herself hurrying to get ready and out of the locker room before her best friend arrived.

But the world was not on her side as Emily stalked into the room just as Elizabeth was tying her sneakers. Resigned to another round of drama, Elizabeth sat on the bench and waited.

“Brothers are ridiculous,” Emily muttered. “They always have terrible taste in women, and they take the skank’s side. Can you believe Jason just sat there while Sam shoved me out the door?”

“Oh, man, you went back to the penthouse?” Elizabeth grimaced. “Why? Did you think Jason was going to change his mind? Em—”

“He’s just so—ugh—you know AJ used to call him Saint Jason? Walking around like he could do no wrong—”

If Emily was invoking her dead brother who had been smothered to death after kidnapping kids, faking deaths, and shooting his own father, she was really on a rampage. She could only imagine what Emily had said to get Sam to throw her out this morning.

“Emily, maybe you just need to stay away from Jason until he’s…” Elizabeth got to her feet. “I don’t know until this is over.”

“Over? You mean until Sonny dumps me? Is that you mean?”

Yes, but Elizabeth valued her life enough not to say so. She pursed her lips. “Or until Jason accepts it—”

“Why the hell should I go around on tiptoes because my family doesn’t approve of my boyfriend? Is that what you did when you were sleeping with Jason in your studio?” Emily demanded. “No. You gave everyone the finger and did what you wanted.”

Elizabeth took a deep breath. “Okay, well, first of all, I wasn’t sleeping with Jason back then. He told you that. I told you that.” And she was really sick of telling people that.

“Please, no one ever believed it,” Emily muttered. She stripped off her top and yanked her scrubs from her locker. “Don’t tell me you think we bought that just friends crap?”

“I—”

“I mean, honestly, if you weren’t married, I’d tell you to take another turn at him. You’d be better than his current whore—”

“Emily, just stop—” Elizabeth held up her hands. “What the hell has gotten into you? You’re attacking me just for standing here. And if this is the attitude you had at Jason’s, no wonder you’ve been thrown out twice—”

Emily huffed, then sat on the bench. “I’m sorry. I’m just—” She shook her head. “You all think I’m an idiot. Like I don’t know who Sonny is. What he’s done. I’ve known him half my life, Elizabeth. Do you think I don’t know what I’m getting into? Don’t I deserve someone who makes me happy?” Her voice thickened. “After last year, after struggling so hard to put Connor Bishop behind me—Nikolas was supposed to love me. To stand by me. And he didn’t.”

“I know.” Elizabeth sat down next to her. “I know. And I am still so angry at him for not giving you more time. For not being the man I thought he was. Em—” She bit her lip. “Look, you said you expected this from the Quartermaines. Because even though AJ and Jason ultimately made their own choices, you know they blame Sonny for what happened.”

“I expected more from you. From Jason.” Emily’s lips trembled. “I told him that. You think I’m making a mistake. And you’re taking his side—”

“I am not taking his side, Em. I don’t even know his side. But I know that going over to his home, attacking him and Sam isn’t going to make this better.”

“I know that. I thought about what you said, but then I talked to Sonny, and I got mad all over again at Jason—but I wasn’t gonna say anything to Sam. I promise. But then she opened the door and, God, she just had this look on her face, like nothing I would say would matter—” Emily scrubbed at her face. “I just wanted to hurt her.”

“Why? Why did you want to hurt Sam? She’s not even part of this. It’s Jason you’re mad at.”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I know she agrees with everyone else. She thinks she has the right to judge me. With everything that happened—with what she’s pulled on my brother—”

“Em—”

“But I really—I don’t know. I know you’re right. I know you’re right about me going for the throat when I get like this. Because I went for Sam, and you yesterday. And God, I went after Jason today. He was so—” Emily hiccuped as her tears slid down her cheeks. “He was so upset—”

Elizabeth put a hand on her shoulder. “What did you say to him?” she asked softly, knowing Emily would feel better if she admitted it. If she said it out loud. And—as much as she didn’t want to be—she was worried about Jason. She knew he was having problems with Sonny, and she didn’t think the maternity results had gone over great with Sam. The last thing either of them needed was another full frontal attack from Emily.

“I—I hit him where I know it hurts. I didn’t use Michael. At least I can say that. But I—I know he’s sensitive sometimes about the months after the accident. When, like, he didn’t know a lot, and he was figuring stuff out. He hurt Robin so much. I know that still bothers him. I know it because it was tied up in what happened with Michael, but also because of what happened with Carly.”

“Okay—”

“He wasn’t Michael’s father, you know. But he did sleep with Carly when he was dating Robin. And I know she forgave him, but it still bothers him. Because of her issues with HIV and sex—” Emily took a deep breath. “I know it bothers him,” she repeated.

“Well, if you just apologize—”

“So, I accused him of doing it again.”

Elizabeth furrowed her brows, tipped her head to the side. “What? Like—when he lied to Courtney about when Sam’s daughter was conceived—”

“Well, yeah, that too.” Emily bit her lip and met Elizabeth’s eyes. “And you.”

“And me,” Elizabeth repeated. “Wait. What? I—” She slid away from Emily as her pulse began to race. No. “What did you say to Jason?”

“Um. God. Oh, God—” Emily’s breath started to hitch. “Oh, man. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about—I just wanted to hurt him. And maybe I wanted to hurt Sam—”

“Emily, you didn’t—” Elizabeth’s hands trembled as her cheeks heated. “You didn’t tell him—I told you I don’t think anything was—” She turned away from her best friend, pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. “Oh, man. How could you—”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about it being something you told me in confidence—”

“I told you that—” Elizabeth got to her feet. “What’s wrong with you? You told Jason that I thought he was with Courtney while I was still at the penthouse? How could—”

“I lied to him. I mean—” Emily sighed. “When I said it, he got this look in his eyes and, man, I thought, direct hit. You know, bullseye. And then he just—he looked so upset, Elizabeth. And he wanted to know if that’s what you told me.”

“We never—” Her stomach lurched. Why. Why was this happening to her? “You had no right—”

“I lied to him. I said I came up with it on my own, okay? I just—I said I assumed he had because you moved out and—” Emily wrung her hands. “I’m sorry. I just—I didn’t think—”

“No, you didn’t.” Elizabeth closed her locker, pressed her forehead against it. “You never do. And you took something that had nothing to do with you—nothing to do with this—and you made me part of it. You had no right—”

“I didn’t tell him any of the other stuff, okay? Like how he was always leaving you for Carly, for Courtney, and how part of you was glad when Courtney thought he was cheating on her because she deserved it—”

“I’m going to work,” Elizabeth said. “I’m going to stop thinking about any of this. This—God, it was years ago. And it’s mortifying, okay? Because he never knew how hard I took any of that, okay? Em? He never knew. He never knew I was in love with him. It never got that far. We never made it that far because he obviously didn’t feel the same way. And I finally got to a point where I wasn’t thinking about that with him, okay? We could—I could be in the same room with him. I could be happy he’d moved on. And you’ve just—you’ve taken a wrecking ball to that.”

“I’m sorry—”

“You keep saying that. But you don’t even know what that means. You know what? Maybe you’re right. Maybe you and Sonny deserve each other.” She started to storm out, then whirled around. “You said no one bought that just friends crap. About Jason and me when Lucky was gone.”

“Uh—”

“What does that mean no one bought it?” Elizabeth demanded. “Who exactly didn’t buy it?”

“Um. Listen. It was years ago—”

“Lucky got mad because Jason walked me to the damned elevator,” Elizabeth snapped. “He was angry because I smiled at him, which is insane because I haven’t spoken to Jason more than a few times in almost two years. So what the hell do you mean no one bought it? Are you telling me—”

She pursed her lips. God, was this why Lucky was still so angry when Jason’s name came up? Because he thought she’d been lying to him back then? God, did that mean— “Does Lucky believe Jason and I were together then?”

“I don’t know if he still does,” Emily said, finally. “We haven’t talked about it for a long time. But yeah, when Jason came back that August, Lucky asked me and Nikolas. And we told him—we told him you and Jason were really close. And you both said it wasn’t like that, but that we didn’t believe you.”

Her eyes burned, and Elizabeth tipped her head to the ceiling, trying to control it so she could go get her job done. “Okay. Great. Well, thanks for that. Thanks for making me a liar. For your information, I never slept with Jason. Not once. I might as well have since everyone thinks I’m a liar and a whore.”

“Elizabeth, wait—”

But Elizabeth had to go earn a paycheck and figure out exactly what she was supposed to do now that she knew there was no one she could really trust.

PCPD: Commissioner’s Office

Mac sighed. “Lucky, I’m glad therapy is going better—but I told you. If you’re out past April 1, I need to reassign Jesse to a new partner. Officially. Right now he’s just working solo—”

“I’m finally able to get through the routine every day. I just know that Drake is gonna let me come back in a few weeks. Just a little more time—”

“It’s been five months already, Lucky.” Mac leaned forward. “Look, your job is always here. We just can’t hold your spot on Major Crimes open indefinitely. But we always need guys in Robbery—”

“No, I worked hard for that promotion. This isn’t fair, Mac. I deserve that spot! It’s not my fault I got hurt in November—and I got injured in the line of duty—” Lucky swallowed his protests as Mac’s face didn’t change. Damn it. Not when he was this close to finally having everything back. No! It wasn’t fair to do this to him now.

“I know. But the union will back me on this. I need my best squad at its best, and we’ve been down a guy for months. We’ve been rotating in and out, but—”

“Just one extra week. April 7. Just give me two weeks from today. I can do this, Mac. I’m sure of it.”

“April 7,” Mac repeated. “And if you’re not back by then, you won’t get angry that I fill that spot?” He raised his brow. “Did Patrick actually tell you you’d be good to go in two weeks, or is that what you’re hoping?”

“That what I’m sure of,” Lucky said, flatly. “I promise, Mac.”

“Okay.” Mac set down the pencil he’d been twirling in his hand, leaned back in his chair. “Okay. Look, I know you’ve had it rough since the train accident, and that you’ve had one setback after another. I know you hate desk duty, and I wish I could do more, but I’ve got a department to run.”

“I know. But you won’t regret giving me this chance. I promise.”

“Yeah, okay. Good luck, Spencer. I hope we’ll see you back on April 7.”

“You will,” Lucky repeated. He hurried out of Mac’s office, then stopped in the men’s room to take out his pills before heading to another physical therapy appointment. He scowled—how—how could he be out of the entire bottle—

Damn it. He’d meant for these to last until he got back to work—

But he’d been granted a reprieve—one more precious week to pass the physical. And whatever he had to do to make it happen—

Well, it was worth it.

He took out his phone and found Santiago in his contacts. He pressed send, then put the phone to his ear. “Yeah. I need to see you. Yeah. The same, but, um, double it.” He grimaced at the price the dealer gave him, then glanced down at the gold band on his hand. “Fine. I need some time. An hour? Okay.”

He hung up the phone, put it into his pocket, then drew off his wedding ring. Lucky’s stomach rolled as he turned it over in his hand. He remembered Elizabeth’s wide smile as she’d shown him the ring the day she’d returned from the jeweler’s and her sheepish expression, apologizing that she couldn’t spend more. She’d been so proud to put this on his finger.

But she wasn’t proud of him right now. He was an angry, bitter shell of a husband who couldn’t stand to be in his own skin, to be around the people he cared about —

He hated to do this. Hated to let her down. But he was doing this for them. For their future and the family he’d promised her.

Lucky shoved the ring into his pocket and promised he’d get it back from the pawnshop with his first full paycheck. He could tell her it was lost or make up a story about it being repaired. She was working a lot lately — maybe she wouldn’t even notice.

Elm Street Pier

Even though Elizabeth knew she shouldn’t—Cameron was with Bobbie, and she really should pick him up—she took ten minutes to sit on the bench by the water.

She wasn’t going to let Lucky’s impatience with her being a bit late coming home from work interfere with something she did after every single shift. Something that gave her a minute to breathe and clear her head.

When she sat on these docks, she could remember all the better days she’d had here. Living under the docks when she and Lucky had run away, sharing a hot chocolate on this bench with Emily, or…

All the times she and Jason had sat here that fall and talked.

Oh, man. How was she ever going to look at him in the eye? How was she going to go home and face Lucky, knowing they had to have a conversation about what Emily had told him? If Lucky had always believed she’d slept with Jason that winter, had he spent all these years thinking Elizabeth had lied to him about her first time being with him?

And why had Lucky believed Emily and Nikolas? Why was he still so angry about Jason when she hadn’t even really talked to Emily’s brother in a year, outside of a few interactions a the hospital?

And how the hell had Sonny and Emily’s affair screwed up her life? If she’d known that Emily was going to use Elizabeth’s drunken and miserable confessions against Jason a weapon, Elizabeth never would have…she just wouldn’t have engaged in Jason’s life again. She would have stayed far away from the whole maternity test business, not told him about Skye—

And she certainly wouldn’t have referred to fake death lie or her irritation over Jason always taking Sonny’s side—

She scowled. Maybe it wasn’t entirely Emily’s fault they were going through this right now, but it made her feel better to blame someone else.

But Elizabeth didn’t want to think about any of that right now. She just wanted to sit here, wrap her cardigan more tightly around her, close her eyes, and let her brain drift. For just a few minutes.

But then, because the universe absolutely despised her, she heard a familiar set of footsteps and someone clearing their throat as they stepped up from the pier.

Elizabeth opened her eyes to find Jason standing a few feet away from her, obviously on his way from the warehouse. “Sure. Why not.” She looked up the universe. “You are a bitch.”

“Are—” Jason hesitated. “Do you want me to go?”

“No. No.” Elizabeth sighed, then straightened, taking a deep breath. “Do you have a minute?”

“Yeah.” He sat next to her, keeping almost two feet between them. Thank God for that.  She didn’t look at him and kept staring straight ahead.

If she looked at him, she would flee like the hounds of hell were chasing her, then have to leave town and change her name. No, better to get over this now. Put it behind them.

“Look, just let me say this once, and then we can forget this ever happened, okay? I’ll say what I have to say, and then you’ll go. And it will be over.”

“Okay,” Jason said slowly. “Elizabeth—”

“I am sorry that you and Emily are fighting. I know it’s been bad. She comes to work right after and—well, obviously you know it’s been bad. I’m sorry she’s put me and Sam in the middle of it. I am…”

Elizabeth looked up at the stars in the sky. “I am mortified beyond belief that she would use something so personal as a way to hurt you. And even though she does not deserve any goddamn favors from me right now, she lied to you when she said—she was trying to backpedal, realizing she had crossed a line—” Elizabeth shook her head. You are an adult, Elizabeth Imogene. Get your shit together.

“I told her what she said to you. I told her that’s what I thought. And I do not want you to address it. I do not want to discuss it, okay? I just—you don’t need to think Emily thinks those things about you on her own, okay? Things are bad enough without that.”

“Elizabeth, I need to explain—”

“No.” Elizabeth shook her head sharply. “No. I—this is bad enough. Bad enough she dragged up something I told her in fucking confidence years ago and launched it at you like a nuclear weapon. I am not having this conversation with you. It does not matter.”

“It does if you’re upset about it now—”

“I am not—” Damn it. Elizabeth closed her eyes. Looked at him, saw the distress in his expression. “I am not upset about it now. Not like I was, okay? It’s not about any of that, okay? It’s about the fact that Emily is on the warpath, and none of us is safe. I haven’t thought about that in years.  It’s not important—”

“But—”

“Jason.” She pointed at him. “No. The problem is that Emily is, apparently, not above throwing me or Sam under the bus in order to hurt you. What’s going on has nothing to do with me or Sam, and we don’t deserve to be in the middle.”

“No. I know that.” Jason took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I never seem to handle this the right way. Sam’s angry at me—” His chuckle was harsh and bitter. “Well, she’s angry for a lot of reasons with me, but right now it’s because I can’t stop Emily from calling her names, and to bring up her daughter—”

“When Emily told me she’d said it—” she exhaled slowly. “I am so sorry she did that. To both of you. But that’s what she does.”

“She takes the thing you hate about yourself and uses it against you.” Jason shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. “Sam told me to just leave all of this alone, and I know—I know she’s right.”

“But Emily showed up on your doorstep twice demanding your approval, Jason. That’s on her. You tossed her out, and she came back.”

“Because I went to Sonny yesterday and told him to stop seeing her,” Jason admitted, looking a bit ashamed of himself. “And maybe I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Maybe?”

“I shouldn’t have,” Jason corrected. “Sam’s right. I know you’re right, too. But I can’t—he’s going to hurt her, Elizabeth. And—” He hesitated. “I can’t say this to her. Because she’d refuse to believe me. But she’s going to hurt him.”

And Elizabeth knew what he wasn’t going to say—she’d known Sonny long enough to know that his relationships often ended in chaos and disaster for everyone around him, especially Jason.

“That’s true,” Elizabeth said slowly. “But that’s how it works, doesn’t it? Even when both people are in love, you still hurt each other. Sometimes you can make it right. And sometimes the hurt can’t be fixed.” She turned towards him slightly, feeling terrible for him. “You know that’s true.”

“Yeah, but—” Jason looked at her. “I should be able to stop it. I should be able to protect my own sister.”

“Look, the thing is—” Elizabeth chewed on her bottom lip. What the hell, she was already mortified beyond the speaking of it. Go for broke. “Emily and I have something in common—we’re both stubborn.”

Jason’s lips curved into a faint smile. “Really?”

She rolled her eyes but also smiled. “Yeah—and the more someone tells us we can’t have something, that we can’t do something—the more we go after it.”

She clenched her hands in her lap. “And—” She sighed. “I know what it’s like to…care for someone the entire world sees as a threat. As someone will hurt you, who isn’t good enough for you.” She met his eyes, saw that he understood what she meant. “Listening to Emily, the way she cried over how the Quartermaines are dealing with this, how you—and I—aren’t there for her. It was like hearing my own life played back for this morning.”

“So you think Sam’s right. That I’m wrong for telling her—and Sonny—it has to stop.”

Elizabeth hesitated. “The thing is, Jason, is it doesn’t matter if you’re right. I don’t think giving her ultimatums is going to work, you know.” She attempted a half-smile. “My grandmother tried that, you know. A few times. I ran away with Lucky the first time. I actually slept under these docks when that happened. And then, you know, I moved out of her house.”

“Yeah.” There was a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, I remember.”

“Giving her an ultimatum, Jason, is only going to backfire,” Elizabeth told him. “When I resisted and pushed back, it meant cutting people out and disappointing them. And when I tried to give in, I made myself miserable.”

She looked away from him, back out over the water. “Living your life to make someone else happy—I’ve done that.” She sighed. “I walked away from something that I really wanted because I wanted to do right by someone else. And I regretted it.”

He exhaled slowly. “Yeah. I know you’re right.”

“And you might think you’re saving them both by demanding it stop now. But all you’ll do is make them both regret it. Emily will always think of this as the chance she didn’t take. I—” She sighed.

“What?” he asked when she didn’t continue. “Elizabeth—”

“Even though I hate how it ended—and we’re still not talking about it by the way—I know the decision to end it wasn’t anyone else’s. It was mine. I might wish…things had been different. But I made my choices. And that matters.”

“So, I should let Emily and Sonny make theirs.”

“Yeah. I guess that’s what I’m saying. I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you differently.”

“No, you’re not saying anything Sam didn’t. I guess—I don’t know.” He looked at her. “Was it your choice?”

Elizabeth closed her eyes. “Jason—”

“Because I know I made it difficult. I—” He looked back out over the lake. “I wanted to apologize.”

“We’re really not talking about it this—”

“I was wrong. Not about the danger.” Jason hesitated, looked at her again, and waited for her to meet his eyes. “It was real. But you were right. It was your risk to take.”

She sighed, bit her lip. Too little, too late. “Well, it doesn’t matter now—”

“I know you don’t want to talk about it—”

“Jason—”

“That’s fine. We won’t. But it’s not true.”

She exhaled harshly. “Okay. Fine.”

“Elizabeth—”

They were both saved by the ringing of her cell phone. Elizabeth knew who it was and decided not to answer it. Jason frowned when she just let the phone ring. “Elizabeth,” he said again.

“I have to get home.” She got to her feet. “Look, I can appreciate that you feel bad. And you don’t want me to feel bad about what happened. I don’t. I’m mad at Emily. I’m embarrassed because I would have rather gone to my grave than to talk about it again—”

“But we haven’t talked about it, and I just—”

“Look, fine—” She closed her eyes, shook her head. Should have just gone home. This never would have happened if she’d just gone home. “Fine. Here’s the thing. You’re going to tell me that you never slept with Courtney while I was living at the penthouse. Except I know that. I know that’s true.”

Jason blinked at her. “But—”

“But you were clearly—” She huffed, irritated with the world, and with Emily for forcing herself to remember that terrible time in her life. “You were clearly interested in her, okay? Because five minutes after you talked to me in Luke’s, you were with her. You were basically living with her by January. I never told Emily I thought you cheated on me—not like that. We weren’t even really dating. And it was obvious that you didn’t care about me the same way—”

She pressed her lips together as he just stared at her. “You quit your job for her. You proposed to her. And I couldn’t even get you to tell me Sonny wasn’t dead. I’m not stupid, Jason. You were falling in love with her, and you didn’t know how to tell me. I’ve been there. I did the same with Lucky and—” She bit off the unspoken you, but they both knew what she’d been about to say.

She stopped and then just went for broke because what the hell. “Jason, you didn’t want to take the risk with me. But you took it with Courtney only a few weeks later. You met with her in secret. What am I supposed to think?”

He swallowed hard. “Okay, but—”

“I wish you would have just told me instead of making me feel like an idiot, but—” Elizabeth sighed. “What I said on the roof? About you following orders unless you think it matters—”

He winced. “Elizabeth—”

“I know I was talking about Manny and Skye, but what I meant was I didn’t matter. I didn’t matter enough back then to go against Sonny—I don’t matter now. At least this time…” She looked down at her wedding ring. “At least this time, I wasn’t pretending I did.”

“That’s not—” He stopped, then stared at her for a long moment before trying again. “Elizabeth—”

“Just—” She held up a hand. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I don’t know why the hell people can’t just believe me when I say things. I need to go home. Have a good night, Jason.”

May 18, 2020

This entry is part 7 of 33 in the For the Broken Girl: Reflections of You

But if you close your eyes
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes
Does it almost feel like
You’ve been here before?
Pompeii, Jasmine Thompson


Friday, March 24, 2006

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Jason made some final notations in the warehouse ledgers, grimacing as he thought about the tax records and paperwork that still needed to be dealt with before the tax deadline in April. They’d never hired another business manager after Benny Abrams had died three years earlier, not a permanent one anyway. It had fallen to Jason to deal with the taxes which he usually liked.

He liked working with numbers. They were straight forward and always added up or divided into the same thing. You didn’t have to read between the lines or look for nuances or subtleties that he’d never been that great at grasping. Maybe, if things had been different after the accident, he’d have been an accountant.

Benny used to tell him that all the time and Jason shook his head at the memory. He didn’t think about the man all that much anymore except during tax season, but he still missed him.

He looked over, saw Sam take a seat on the sofa with the tabloids and a cup of coffee, her usual morning routine. They hadn’t spoken much since he’d gone to the warehouse on Tuesday night, and Jason was honestly relieved by that. If they weren’t talking, they weren’t fighting—

And she wasn’t asking questions about his past with Elizabeth, questions he hadn’t asked himself in nearly four years.

 Sonny gives you an order, and you follow it.

 He didn’t know how to explain to himself or to her that he didn’t like disappointing Elizabeth, of knowing that she thought he was better than he obviously was. Sam and Sonny were right — Manny wasn’t their problem anymore, and Skye’s safety was something Alcazar should worry about, not him.

Unless it matters enough for you to do what you think is right.

 He rolled his shoulders and turned to another stack of invoices to look over. He had men watching Manny at the hospital, so there was no point in worrying. If Manny made a move that concerned them, then he’d be in a position to act.

 And this doesn’t.

Sam was right, Elizabeth didn’t understand his life. She never had.

“Jason.”

Jason frowned and turned to Sam. He hadn’t even heard her walk across the room. He put down his pencil and turned to look at her. “What’s wrong?” he asked as he took in her dark, concerned eyes.

Sam sighed, looked down at the paper she held, then set it on top of his paperwork. He furrowed his brow, then looked at the front page she’d given him. His sister’s face stared back at him along with the profile of Sonny—as Emily was opening the door to him into a room.

Jason swallowed hard as he picked up the paper, then looked at Sam. “What—”

“She signed into the Cosmopolitan Hotel as Mr. and Mrs. Michael Smith,” Sam told him. She leaned against the edge of his desk. “She arrived first, then Sonny. The clerk recognized Sonny, then went upstairs and took the photo. He knew who Emily was.”

Of course he did. The Quartermaine heiress and the mafia don. Who could resist that story? The clerk had probably sold the photo for more money than he’d make in a year working behind the desk at a hotel. “How long were they there?” he asked flatly. He could read the story himself, but he had a feeling it would only make him angrier.

“I don’t know. The clerk waited a few hours. They didn’t leave and even ordered room service. She registered with cash—he must have sold the photo in the middle of the night to get it into the paper—” Sam broke off as Jason’s fingers clenched, crinkling the paper. “Jason—”

Jason carefully set the newspaper down, took a deep breath. His hands were nearly trembling as rage boiled in his veins. His little sister. His vulnerable little sister who had been raped and cheated on last year. Whose husband had left her for another woman. Who had been attacked by Carly during her nervous breakdown.

Sonny had slept with Jason’s sister. His much younger sister.

“Did the paper say whether it was the first time,” Jason demanded. He shoved his chair back and got to his feet. “How long?”

“According to the clerk, it was the fourth time they’d signed in, and they’d always stayed the night before then.” She bit her lip. “Jason, I know you’re angry. I get it. I know Emily’s had a bad year. She got close to Sonny last fall when she stayed in his guest house. You weren’t there. You couldn’t be, I know that. But—”

“That makes it okay?” Jason demanded, temper licking at his throat. He swallowed hard, shook his head. “I’m sorry, I—”

There was a furious knocking on the door as his sister’s voice called out to him. “Jason? Jason? Please answer—”

Jason strode to the door and yanked it open to find Emily standing there, her eyes rimmed with red, her hair disheveled. “Emily.”

She looked past him to find the newspaper on his desk, then turned her eyes back to him, her brown eyes distressed. “I tried to—I tried to get here—I didn’t think you read the Sun.

“He doesn’t, I do.” Sam picked up the paper, rolled it up, and tucked it under her arm as she crossed them. “Are you okay?”

“N-No, not really. Um, Mom reads the Sun, so you can imagine how much fun breakfast was—” Emily clenched her hands together in a fist, pressed it to her chest. “You’re not saying anything, Jase.”

“What do you want me to say?” Jason demanded, his words short and clipped. “Is the paper lying?”

“No, no, it’s all true, b-but I need you to understand why I didn’t say anything. I knew—God, I knew how everyone would act, but I’m not a kid anymore, you know? And this—with Sonny—it just happened—”

“It needs to stop.”

The words were out of his mouth before Jason even realized what he was going to say. Emily’s eyes widened, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sam’s mouth open slightly. Because he never told anyone what to do. Not like that.

“It—” Emily took a deep breath. “You just don’t understand, okay? Sonny and I—it’s real, you know? A-And I know it’s going to take some adjustments, but—”

“It won’t because it’s ending. Today.” His voice sounded rusty, even alien to him. He knew he was doing this wrong—that he was saying the wrong thing. His sister’s pale face flushed with color as her shock and worry dissolved into irritation.

You don’t get to decide that. I am an adult, Sonny is an adult—”

“He’s an adult who is going to hurt you,” Jason snapped. “You don’t know what you’re getting into—”

“It’s—I’m different. Sonny and I are different,” she insisted. “Do you think I’m an idiot? Do you think I don’t know who he is? Maybe you’ve been cleaning up his messes too long, but—”

“You saw what happened to Brenda. Damn it, Carly went after you and nearly killed you because he drove her to a breakdown. You aren’t going to be the next woman I have to—” He bit off the rest of his statement.

“You don’t know how we are—” Emily shook her head. “No, I’m not going to stand here and justify my relationship with Sonny to you. I am my own person, and you don’t get to make my decisions. So what if Sonny has hurt people? I have, too. What about what happened to Zander?”

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re blaming yourself for his death—”

“No, but I was a part of it. I didn’t help. Sonny’s made mistakes, but he didn’t drive Brenda or Carly crazy.”

“Em,” Sam said softly. “Em, he’s just worried about you—”

“Oh, please, don’t even—” Emily rolled her eyes at his fiancée. “Please. Don’t you start. What, you think because Sonny used and threw you away, he’ll do the same to me?”

Sam scowled, pressed her lips together, shook her head. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

“No, I’m dying to hear your opinion, Sam. C’mon—”

“Knock it off, Emily—” Jason began.

“No, I want to hear what the con artist has to say about my life.” Emily’s brows lifted as she turned to Sam. “Let’s hear it. I mean, you know Sonny. You have to know and understand the mark, that’s how this works, right? You conned Jax by pretending to be some strong badass, you conned Sonny by being a whore, and my brother—” Emily’s smile was thin. “You conned him with a baby. Too bad that didn’t work out the way you planned—”

“You’re leaving.” Jason yanked open the door. “Now.”

“Jason—”

“You came over here to tell me about Sonny. Consider me told. You don’t get to throw Sam’s daughter in her face. You’re angry at me, be angry at me. You don’t take it out on her—”

Emily snorted and stalked out in the hallway, whirling around for one last dig at the threshold. “And the con just keeps going, doesn’t it, Sam? Hey, maybe you figured out how to keep it going. He’ll always feel sorry for the whore with a dead kid—”

Sam’s face was white as Jason slammed the door in his sister’s face. He exhaled slowly, and now the trembling in his hands wasn’t just anger. It was shock. He had no idea his sister had that kind of venom inside of her for Sam. For anyone.

He turned to look at Sam. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” Sam exhaled slowly, a careful breath as she let her arms fall to the side. “Was she wrong?”

“What?”

She stared at him, her eyes dry. “Was she wrong?” Sam repeated. “I conned Jax, you already know that. And Sonny started as a con. So did you.”

Jason swallowed hard. “Sam—”

“It’s not like I planned it—not after Sonny. But I needed a place to be safe. To figure things out. So I picked you. And I stayed.” She exhaled slowly. “I used my kid. I knew it would work. I knew you were…”

He just stared at her as she trailed off. “What are you saying to me right now?”

“I thought it stopped. I thought I stopped conning you.” She clenched her hands into fists at her side. “But maybe I don’t know how to do that. I mean, I just—I don’t know. Maybe I don’t exist. I don’t. Samantha McCall never existed. I was just some baby Alexis Davis threw away, and Cody McCall ended up with. I had ten different names by the time I was fifteen, you know that? I don’t exist. Maybe I never did.”

She scrubbed her hands over her face, took a deep breath. “Thank you for making her go. I need to take a walk.”

“Let me go with you—”

“No. No. I need some air. I feel like I’m suffocating in here.”

Jason watched her go, then looked over as his cell phone began to ring. He could see the caller ID screen flash with Carly’s name. He grimaced, then reached for it.

It was going to be a long day.

General Hospital: Locker Room

Elizabeth tugged her scrub pants on, then cinched them at the waist with the tie. She sat down to put on her sneakers.

Then she heard the locker room door open so hard that it bounced against the wall with a booming THUD. She twisted on the bench as Emily rounded a row of lockers and threw her bag on the bench. It rolled over and fell onto the floor, cosmetics, pens, and keys spilling out onto the concrete floor.

Emily scowled down at it, then looked at her. “Well, go on. Let me have it. Be the fifteenth person to scream at me and throw me out.”

Elizabeth merely lifted her brows. “Good morning, Em.”

Don’t pretend you don’t know. The entire world knows I’m screwing Sonny Corinthos.” Emily got on her knees and started shoving things back into her purse.

Elizabeth tied her second sneaker then tugged her hair back into a ponytail. She closed her locker. She’d seen the tabloids and hadn’t been as surprised as she thought she might be. “Well, by now, I guess they do. Who threw you out?”

“My brother. Can you believe it?”

Elizabeth hesitated as she pinned her ID to her scrub top. “Jason?” she asked with a frown. That didn’t sound like the man she knew. “Jason threw you out?”

“He demanded I stop seeing Sonny, too. It was like an alien zapped into his place. Like he wasn’t even my brother. And then Sam had the nerve to weigh in like anyone gives a damn what she says—”

Elizabeth scratched her temple, trying to understand. “Jason threw you out because you refused to stop seeing Sonny?” She could see Alan or Monica maybe doing that. Possibly Edward. But not Jason.

“Well…” Emily bit her lip. “Maybe he didn’t throw me out until I…” She looked away, sighed. “Until I accused Sam of using her dead baby to con Jason into marriage.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth nodded slowly. “Well, yeah, that would do it, I would bet. Em—”

“I didn’t mean it—”

“Yeah, you did. You’ve said the same thing to me.”

“Well, I didn’t mean to say it,” Emily said with a roll of her eyes. “But, like, where she does get off, telling me Jason’s just worried about me—” She scowled. “Oh, I know that look, Elizabeth Imogene. You agree with her.”

“I—” Elizabeth sighed. “I don’t know. I wasn’t there. But you know it’s not like Jason to just tell you what to do. He only does that when he’s scared.”

“He thinks Sonny will drive me nuts. It’s not my fault Brenda had a breakdown or that Carly spent time in Ferncliffe. It’s not even the first time she was there, you know? Like, they both had issues. I don’t—and I’m certainly not going to listen to a man who’s currently screwing Sonny’s last girlfriend—”

“Well, you’re forgetting about Reese,” Elizabeth reminded her, still at a bit of a loss at what had gotten into Emily. “Emily—”

“No. No, you don’t get to agree with my brother, Elizabeth. That is tremendously unfair. You are my best friend. He doesn’t even know you exist anymore. You have to take my side—”

“Emily, you have a vicious way of being an idiot when you get mad.” Elizabeth shook her head. “The same thing that makes you a good friend is what makes you an awful person to fight with.”

“What does that mean?”

“Because you are so compassionate and you read people so well—you know exactly where to drive the knife when you want to hurt someone.”

Emily stared at her. Folded her arms. “That’s not true—”

“No? Sam tried to defuse the situation with you and Jason, and you threw her dead daughter in her face. I mean, Christ, Em. Whether you like her or hate her, whether she’s a con artist or not — you know how hard that was for her. For Jason. They were—” She shook her head. “That was a bad time for them. And she loved her child. And you used it against her. Because you wanted her to shut up and leave you alone.”

“I—”

“Just now. I’m here, trying to be there for you, and you think this is a good time to remind me how it ended with him? He doesn’t know I exist, Em? What the hell.”

“I—” Emily’s lip trembled. “But—”

“First, it’s not true. I know it’s not true. But you know what happened between us at the end. You know how much it hurt me for him to treat me like nothing. You know that. So you used it. Just like you used Sam’s daughter. Because when you’re hurt, you need to take us down with you.”

“I’m sorry.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “It’s been a bad day, okay? I woke up to my entire family screaming at me. I tried to head off Jason, but Sam had already shown him the damn paper—if she wasn’t there, he wouldn’t have seen it. And I could have explained it to him—and why the hell is he so mad? He married Sonny’s sister, didn’t he? He quit his job over her. He—”

“I am aware of what Jason sacrificed to be with Courtney,” Elizabeth said dryly. “And so is he. What exactly do you think you could have said to him that would change how he handled it?”

“The paper makes it seem like some sordid affair. We’re not married. Neither of us, okay? We’re single. We’re adults. I have a right to be happy, Elizabeth. Don’t I?”

“Of course you do. But you don’t get to decide how other people feel about this. Because, yeah, Jason married Sonny’s sister. And that ended in disaster, so there’s that. And he was the one that broke Brenda into little pieces. You were at the wedding. You saw it happen. You saw her break down afterward. He’s watched Sonny with woman after woman, and you think he’s thrilled you’re next?”

“It’s different with me—”

“And maybe it is. But he didn’t hear about it from you. You knew he’d take it like this, Em. You knew everyone would. Lucky thinks I knew and lied to him about it, so that’s been fun for me.” Elizabeth took a deep breath. “You went into his home and ended up fighting with Sam. Is that all you said to her? Or did you maybe deserve to have him throw you out? And good for him. Because if you’d ever used either of my miscarriages against me in a fight, I would have thrown you out, too.”

She stalked away from her best friend and went to clock in. She didn’t have the patience for Emily right now. She adored her best friend more than anything in the world, but Emily could be incredibly naive and selfish.

And Elizabeth just did not have room in her life for that right now.

Courtland Street: Alley

Lucky cleared his throat and ducked behind a row of trash cans. “Santiago?” he called, pitching his voice low.

“Yeah, what you call for?” the irritated growl came from the shadows as a man with an average-height and olive skin sauntered towards him, his dark hair tucked underneath a backward baseball cap. “You wearing a wire? You tryin’ to screw me over?”

“No,” Lucky scowled. He glanced over his shoulder, making sure they were alone. “You got it?”

“Yeah, I got it, but I’m not convinced you’re for real. Maybe you’re setting me up.” Santiago lifted his chin, held out his hand. In his palm sat two round white pills.

Lucky raised his brows. “What, you want me to prove it by taking them in front of you?”

“Yeah. That’s the way of it. You want to do business, you gotta try the product.” He wiggled his hand. “So, let’s go.”

“Fine,” he muttered. Lucky grabbed the pills and tossed them down his throat. The taste was chalky on his dry throat but if they were the oxy Santiago had promised on the phone—

The pain would be gone soon, and Lucky would be able to breathe again. He’d be able to get through his therapy again.

He knew he was taking a chance buying the product on the street, calling old contacts he’d met while patrolling the streets as a rookie, but he was desperate. He’d gone to Mercy Hospital, and doctors there had refused another prescription.

Lucky was a cop, damn it, and he didn’t deserve being treated like a goddamn drug addict. He just needed to get through therapy, and how the hell was he supposed to do that if he couldn’t even think through the pain? Everything was always on fire, and he just wanted the fucking pain to stop for a minute so he could think.

“Satisfied?” he demanded. He shoved the cash at Santiago. “Take it. Give me what I asked for.”

Santiago pursed his lips, then shrugged. “Sure.” He dug a bag out of his pocket. “Just what you asked. Twenty pills.”

“Twenty—” Lucky scowled. “I told you I needed thirty—I paid for thirty—”

“You want me to sell to a cop, you gotta pay the price.” Santiago drew back his hand. “You don’t want it?”

“Give me the fucking pills.” Lucky snatched the plastic bag from the dealer’s hands as his money disappeared into Santiago’s jeans. “This had better be the real stuff.”

“Hey, a cop on the client list isn’t the worst thing to have.” Santiago shrugged. “You need a refill, you know where to find me.”

He slunk back into the shadows, disappearing down the alley until all Lucky could hear was footsteps.

He wouldn’t need a refill. He’d make these last two weeks, and then he’d be able to get back to work. And then he’d never have to take another damn pill again.

Greystone Manor: Foyer

“Don’t bother to tell me he’s in a meeting,” Jason all but growled at Max as the loyal guard attempted to stop him. “I’m going in—”

“Listen, Sonny said if you came in, he—” Max pressed his body against the double doors that blocked Jason from the living room. He spread his hands out.

“Max.” Jason glared. “Do you think you can stop me?”

“No,” the guard admitted, “but I got my orders, Jase. So I gotta at least try.”

“Fair enough. Now move.”

“Moving.” Max darted past Jason and went outside to get away from whatever was going to happen inside there. He, and several others that worked at the estate, half thought Sonny had it coming. You just didn’t date a guy’s sister without warning him. Not when you’d known her since she was twelve years old.

Sonny scowled as Jason shoved the doors open. “Max!” he called.

“Don’t bother. He’s already gone.”

The two partners stared at each other for a long moment, nearly a decade of friendship between them. This wasn’t even the first time Sonny had done something like this. There had been that terrible night when Carly had waltzed down the penthouse steps, dressed in nothing more than Sonny’s dress shirt.

That had hurt. Not only because Jason had half-believed he was in love with Carly, but because he’d known why Sonny had done it. Because he thought Jason needed to be taught who Carly was. Sonny had proved himself that night to be no different than Robin. He was just someone else who couldn’t see that Jason was his own man, capable of making his own choices—even if they were mistakes.

They’d managed to somehow put that past them, but now—

“She’s an adult, Jason,” Sonny said finally. He calmly sipped his bourbon. “And you’re not her father.”

“Then why lie?” Jason demanded. “You’ve been avoiding me, not taking meetings, not taking care of business because you knew how I’d feel—Emily’s been ditching work, her friends, me—you both knew how this was going to go, so you lied—”

“Because we knew you’d be unreasonable,” Sonny said easily, but his dark eyes darted away, almost if he didn’t believe his own words. “So we kept it to ourselves. I’m sure you’re worried about her safety—”

“I’m not—” Jason clenched his fists at his side. “You think this is about danger? Emily’s an adult. She’s been around me long enough to understand it. That has nothing to do with it.”

Sonny blinked at him, set the tumbler down on the bar with a thunk of glass. “What the hell then—”

“I should have seen it coming,” Jason said flatly. “She was lonely and vulnerable. Alone. Desperate. That’s your type.”

“My…” Sonny trailed off as the corners of his mouth tightened. “My type.”

“Brenda. Carly. Hannah. Lily. Sam. All of the women you’ve damaged. All of the women you’ve used. Brenda and Carly had nervous breakdowns. Lily is dead. Hannah gave up her career for you—”

“And you blame me for all of that?” Sonny demanded.

“I will not let my sister be next casualty!” Jason shot back. “Just because we’re friends doesn’t mean I don’t know exactly who you are and what you do to women. I’m the one that cleans up after you!”

Sonny exhaled slowly. “I didn’t realize you thought so highly of me,” he said dryly.

“Is that why you’ve refused to do anything about Manny Ruiz?” Jason demanded. “Why I’ve been taking all the meetings? Why you’ve been distracted? This always happens—you fall in love, and you let everything go to hell. Not this time—”

“Fuck you!”

“If anything happens because of Manny Ruiz—” Jason began.

“What’re you gonna do?” Sonny taunted. “What? Some friend you’ve turned out to be—”

Jason opened his mouth, but a sound behind them had them both pausing and turning to look as Sam entered, hesitant. “What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice tight.

“When I got back to the penthouse, you weren’t there. I was afraid you’d come here.” Sam put her hand on his arm. “You’re still upset. You’re not thinking clearly. Let’s go home.”

“Oh, look. Another one of my messes you’ve had to clean up,” Sonny snarled with a dismissive wave of his hand at the woman who had carried—and lost—his child.

Sam reeled back as if struck, and Jason winced, wondering how many more hits she was supposed to take today. It was one thing to take their anger out on each other—but Sonny had gone too far—

“Don’t talk to her—” Jason began.

“What? Isn’t that what you’re here to do? To prevent your darling little sister from being one of my pieces of roadkill?” Sonny snarled. The other man stalked towards them. “You clean up my messes — I’m just stating facts. You’re not wrong. Who let Sam live with him while I dealt with Carly?”

He shrugged, but the rage was almost visible in the trembling of his shoulders. “You don’t want Emily to end up crazy like Brenda and Carly, dead like Lily and Reese, out of a job like Hannah, or…” Sonny squinted at his former girlfriend, who glared at him. “What exactly is the nature of your damage, Sam? What terrible legacy have I left you with beyond shoving you at Jason?”

Sam took a deep breath and bit back whatever terrible thing she was going to say. Jason could see her shaking from the effort. “I am not going to let the two of you use me to hurt each other. I’m fine, Sonny. You never gave a damn about me or my daughter, and I knew that.”

Sonny smirked, then looked at Jason. “See? Proof I don’t ruin all women—”

Sam narrowed her eyes. “You can’t hurt someone who doesn’t give a shit about you, Sonny. You can’t damage something that doesn’t let you touch it. I never gave a damn about you either.”

Sonny stared at her, stunned. “But—”

“You were a rich man who was handsome and mildly good in bed. You were a mark. Until you weren’t worth the effort. So, please, leave me out of this fight. I’m not someone you need to fix or clean up,” she shot at Jason, and to Sonny, she said, “And the only worthwhile thing I got from you was my daughter. You can both go to hell.”

She stalked out, slamming the front door behind her, the sound echoing like a gunshot.

Jason exhaled slowly and looked back at Sonny, who was shell-shocked as if it had never occurred to him that the con artist he’d taken to his bed had only been using him the way he’d used her.

“You and Emily are going to do whatever you want. You’re adults. But you lied to me. You avoided me, and you’ve been ignoring business. Not just Manny Ruiz, but the Escobars. And if just one person gets hurt because of this—”

He trailed off because he honestly didn’t know what he would do. So he just let his threat hang in the air before he left.

Something had broken in his relationship with Sonny that day, but maybe it had already been broken, and Jason had simply refused to see it.

May 15, 2020

This entry is part 6 of 33 in the For the Broken Girl: Reflections of You

And I don’t blame ya dear
For running like you did all these years
I would do the same, you best believe
And the highway signs say we’re close
But I don’t read those things anymore
I never trusted my own eyes
Stubborn Love, The Lumineers


Tuesday, March 21, 2006

General Hospital: Break Room

“Oh, Bobbie, I’m so glad I caught you.”

Bobbie Spencer turned from the coffee pot and offered Elizabeth a warm smile. “Hey, sweetie.” She kissed her cheek. “How are you doing? We haven’t caught up in a few weeks.”

She mixed sugar into the coffee she poured. “How’s surgery?”

“A little boring. It’s been a lot of paperwork so far,” Elizabeth confessed. She folded her arms, leaned back against the fridge. “Patrick wants me to be familiar with a lot of the complications, to know the procedures before he’ll start letting me scrub in to observe or assist.”

“Makes sense.” Bobbie’s lips curved into a smile. “You could still change your mind. We need a nurse down in the ER—”

“I know, I know. But I have better hours upstairs, and that matters right now.” Elizabeth hesitated. “Listen, I wanted to ask you what your schedule was like. Gram is leaving for Memphis later this week, and she picks up Cameron from daycare a few nights.”

“Oh, yeah?” Bobbie sipped her coffee. “What’s Lucky doing?”

Elizabeth pressed her lips together, looked away. “Um—well, he’s doubling up on his physical therapy. You know Patrick didn’t give him a return date yet, and, uh—” She tucked her hair behind her ears. “I can pay you—”

“Stop it. We’re family.” Bobbie waved it away. “I was just wondering why Lucky wasn’t jumping at the chance to spend a little more time with Cam.” She tilted her head. “Have you guys started the adoption process yet?”

“Oh.” Elizabeth laughed nervously, looking down. “No, no. We’re—we’re, um, holding off on that for a little while. There are, uh, filing fees. And you know, Lucky’s his stepfather right now, so—” She stopped. “When things calm down,” she said finally. “We’re going to revisit it then.”

“I see.” Bobbie sat down at the table, nodded. “Well, I have Carly’s boys a few times a week — to give Leticia a few free evenings while Carly works. She bought into the Metro Court, did you know?”

“I saw something about that. So, maybe Lulu or one of her friends could babysit?” Elizabeth frowned. “Or do you think they’ll—”

“No, what I was going to say is that it might be good for Cameron to play with the boys. He and Morgan are a few months apart, and Michael does a good job with younger kids. I can probably give you two or three nights a week right now.” Bobbie raised her brows. “How many did you need?”

“That’ll work for now. Thank you so much. And I love the idea of Cameron playing with kids his age. I should get back to work—”

“Elizabeth?”

She turned back at the door to look at her aunt by marriage. “Yeah?”

“Is…everything okay?”

Elizabeth forced a smile on her face. “It’s fine. Thanks again, Bobbie. My break is over.”

General Hospital: Hallway

 Patrick frowned when he saw Lucky pacing the hallway outside of his office. “Lucky? Did I forget an appointment?”

“No—” Lucky huffed. “I’m sorry. I know that I was—” He clenched his fists at his side and took a deep breath. “I know I was out of line at my last appointment. Do you have a minute?”

“I have a few before I have to go down for rounds.” Patrick unlocked his office and gestured for Lucky to come in. “How’s the pain?”

“Worse than when I left the hospital,” Lucky admitted. He cleared his throat. “Because I’m out of the pain meds and I was hoping—”

“You weren’t able to find another doctor?” Patrick leaned over his desk and dug Lucky’s chart from a pile on his desk. “I told you, Lucky. I’m not prescribing you any more.” He flipped it open, just to refresh his memory. “I mean, you’ve been in and out of the hospital for a while—and it looks like the train accident wasn’t the first time you’d been prescribed the oxy.”

“Uh…no, I had it after the coma last year.” Lucky rubbed his chest. “I had a rough year—”

“Shot in the chest, a stroke, impaled by a pole—” Patrick nodded. “Yeah, I get it, Lucky. I really do. You’ve been on oxycontin off and on for a year.” He hesitated. “I didn’t have the earlier records the last time we talked. When you told me about the other injuries, I got curious. You never…”

He met Lucky’s eyes. “You never went off the oxy, did you? You kept asking for refills, and the doctor kept refilling it. At the same dosage.”

“Because I’m not addicted. I just need to get through the day—those pills were why I was able to get back to work—I have a family—” Lucky scowled. “What the hell are you accusing me of?”

“Nothing. But knowing that you’ve been on these meds for a year now?” Patrick shook his head. “I’m not writing a refill. I haven’t changed my mind—”

“Bullshit! You weren’t my doctor last year! You have no right to judge me!” Lucky grabbed Patrick by the shirt and shook him. Despite Patrick’s height and health, he merely arched a brow as if curious enough to see where this would go.

“I’m a fucking cop! I got injured in the line of duty! I need to get back to work! I need to get through physical therapy! You have to refill—”

“You need to go to the pain management clinic.” Patrick looked down at the hands holding his scrubs. “You gonna let me go, or do I have to call for security?”

“Fuck you!” Lucky spat. He shoved Patrick away. “You think you know what it’s like to be me? I was shot in the chest! I nearly died! I got a pole shoved through me—I’m lucky to walk! I did that! I got back on my feet!”

“You did. And maybe you’ll do it again. But not with those pain meds. A year is long enough, Lucky.” Patrick reached for his notepad. He scribbled something down, ripped off the sheet, then handed it to Lucky. “Here—”

Hoping it was a refill, Lucky snatched it out of his hands. Blood pounded in his ears as he realized Patrick had just, once again, written down the address of the pain management clinic. “You son of a bitch!”

He swung out with his left hand, intending to break apart his pretty face, but Patrick quickly sidestepped him. Lucky fell onto the desk, then rolled onto the floor, panting and wincing from the pain.

“You have a problem,” Patrick said quietly. “You need to get it under control. You have a beautiful wife, a son—”

Lucky shoved himself to his feet, wiped his mouth, and glared at him. “You better not be filling my wife’s head with this shit! I am not an addict! You have no right to tell her!”

“I haven’t.” Patrick grimaced. “I wish I had when I first took you off the pills. But you revoked permission, and I have to respect that. But Lucky—” He shook his head. “You keep going down this path, and Elizabeth will find out sooner or later.”

“Well, it won’t be from you!” Lucky tore the address into pieces and let them drop on the ground. “Go to hell.”

He staggered out of the office and made it to a nearby restroom. Lucky splashed water on his face, trying to get himself under control, to block out the burning fire in his back. He just wanted his life back.

And that was never going to happen unless he could make the pain go away.

General Hospital: Hallway

Elizabeth slid the last chart into the slot on the door and breathed a sigh of relief that she was finally done checking every last patient under her care. They were stable, their meds were up to date—

She had been nervous about taking over the post-surgery ward as part of her training, but it had gone pretty well so far, and— Elizabeth checked her watch with a smile. It was time for her break.

She took the service stairs down a flight to get to the locker room—she wanted to call Cameron’s daycare and check on him. She never got to spend enough time with her little guy, and every minute counted.

But when she retrieved her phone from her purse, she frowned down at it. She had three missed calls from Lucky and one from Jason. She bit her lip, then dialed her husband first because that was the right thing to do.

“Hey—”

“Where the hell have you been?”

Elizabeth flinched at the anger in his voice. “I’m at work, Lucky. I don’t have my phone while I’m on shift. If you need me—”

“You weren’t at work! I just looked for you there! Nadine said you weren’t there! That you didn’t work there anymore!”

Elizabeth wrinkled her nose. “Lucky, I don’t work on the Pediatrics floor anymore. Don’t you remember? I got—I got promoted. To surgery. I’m on the sixth floor. Are you still here—”

“I—” He was quiet for a long moment. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice calmer now. “I forgot. I’ve had a lot on my mind. No, I went home.”

“Okay—”

“I’ll see you later.”

The line went dead, and Elizabeth just stared at it for a long moment. She thought about running upstairs to ask Nadine what the hell happened, but…

She really didn’t want to know. Lucky had forgotten about the promotion that they’d argued about only a few days ago—her promotion which was the whole reason she couldn’t change her shifts around—

Pushing Lucky and all of it out of her head, she dialed Jason’s number. Maybe he had good news—she hadn’t seen the creepy janitor once today.

“Hey. You called? I’m sorry. I’m at work, and I don’t have my phone on the floor—”

“It’s okay,” Jason said. “I wanted to know when your break was. Or ask if you can meet after work.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth blinked. “Is everything okay? I’m—I’m on break right now, but—”

“I’m in the area, so I can be there in ten minutes. Is that enough? I’ll meet you on the roof.”

“Yeah, uh, ten minutes is fine.” She hung up the phone, then shook her head. It seemed like the day for weird calls. She grabbed her coat, hung it over her arm as she shoved her cell phone into the pockets of her scrubs, and closed her locker.

When she left the room, she stopped still as Manny Ruiz exited a hospital room on the other side of her. He flashed her a smile. “Hey, Elizabeth. It’s nice to see you.”

“Uh, hello—”

“Have a nice day.”

Then he wheeled his cart down the hall, whistling as he walked. Elizabeth fought the urge to shudder, then went back to the service stairs. She didn’t want him to follow her to the elevator and know where she was going.

General Hospital: Roof

As she stepped out onto the roof, she pulled her coat on—the winds were still brutal at this time of year, and she didn’t know what the hell Jason was thinking, asking her to meet up here.

She blew warm air into her hands, rubbed them together. “Just because he can’t feel cold doesn’t mean the rest of us are so lucky,” she muttered. She glanced over her shoulder as the heavy steel door to the hospital opened, and Jason stepped out.

“Hey—”

“Hey. What’s going on?” She walked towards him, shoving her hands in her pockets—she’d forgotten to grab her gloves. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just—” Jason grimaced. “I’m sorry. I forgot how cold it is—I just didn’t want Manny to see us meeting.”

“Oh.” She shoved a piece of hair away from her face. “Fair enough. I hadn’t heard from you since the pier, so I guess—” She managed a half-smile. “I guess I thought the problem was almost over.”

“Yeah, I wanted it to be,” Jason admitted. “But Sonny—” He shook his head. “He doesn’t think we should do anything.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth drew her brows together. “Oh. Okay. I guess—well, maybe he’s right. Maybe I’ve overreacting—” When she saw him look away, she paused and thought about what he’d said. “He doesn’t think you should do anything,” she repeated. “That’s not the same thing as nothing needs to be done.”

“Skye is Alcazar’s problem,” Jason managed to say, though it looked as if every word had to be forced from his throat. “And—” He broke off, looked at the ground.

“I’m married to a cop,” Elizabeth finished. “So, you don’t need to do anything about either of us.”

“I didn’t—” He shook his head. “It’s not what I think, but—”

“But it’s what Sonny thinks.” She closed her eyes. Oh, man. Things never changed. “Well, that’s that. Thanks. Maybe I’ll talk to Alcazar—”

Elizabeth started past Jason, but he grabbed her elbow—stopped her from leaving. She turned back to face him. “What?”

“I know what you’re thinking—”

“You really don’t—”

“I told Sonny—”

“Jason—” Elizabeth held up her hands, palms out. “Look, I really get it. It doesn’t matter that Luke and Sonny were business partners, that Lucky was brought up in this world, too. You know? He’s a cop now. And I married him. I get that for Sonny, it puts a huge dent in my credibility. I really do understand that.”

“Elizabeth—”

“And he doesn’t know Skye. Other than when she testified at your murder trial and tried to have Brenda convicted of murder—” Elizabeth winced. “She’s not someone who matters to him. And—” It went without saying that Elizabeth hadn’t really ever mattered to Sonny either. “I get it,” she repeated. She bit her lip, then shook her head. “I should get back to work—”

“What were you going to say?” Jason pressed, laying his hand on the door so she couldn’t open it. “Elizabeth—”

She hesitated, then sighed. “Honestly? It doesn’t surprise me.” She met his eyes, saw him frown. “It’s just—” She looked away. “I thought you were worried, too. When I told you I trusted you to take care of Manny—I don’t know. It seemed like it mattered to you.”

“It does—”

“Not enough,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “I don’t know what made me think things would be different this time.”

Jason blinked, stepped back with a shake of his head. “This time?” he echoed.

“Sonny gave you an order,” she said softly. “And you’re going to follow it. Nothing’s changed at all, has it?”

He swallowed hard—and she knew now that Jason knew exactly what she meant. He’d remembered it when they’d talked briefly about Sonny faking his death, but she wasn’t sure how much of it had stayed with him.

“Elizabeth—”

“I think maybe I wondered…I wondered because of what happened with Courtney,” she said slowly, even as her brain screamed shut the hell up! “And then Sam’s daughter. I thought—but I get it now.”

“What—” He clenched his fists at his side. “What do you get?” he asked finally.

“Sonny gives you an order, and you follow it. Unless it matters enough for you to do what you think is right.” She smiled, even as her vision blurred. “And this doesn’t.” She took a deep breath. “Skye doesn’t matter.”

She didn’t say anything else, but the unspoken conclusion hung between them, heavy in the chilled air.

I don’t matter.

“That’s not—”

“I was wrong back then. When I said you would always be Sonny’s enforcer.” He closed his mouth, pressed his lips together. “First, last—maybe. But not always. So, I guess there’s that.”

When he said nothing else, she nodded. “I’m going back to work. Thanks for letting me know.”

General Hospital: Lab

Robin glanced up when her door crashed open, and an angry neurosurgeon stalked in. “Hello,” she said blandly. “Having a bad day?”

She made a note with her pencil as she awaited whatever snark Patrick would offer—their usual routine. Then he just sat on the stool next to her and glared at the wall, she set down her pencil.

“What’s wrong?”

“Patient confidentiality is what’s wrong. You should never have friends.” Patrick glared at her. “This is your fault.”

“Because I encouraged you to be nice to people?” Robin asked. “Because I didn’t tell you to make friends.”

“No, but—” He scowled, dragged his hands through his hair. “I can’t tell you. You’re not a doctor on his case.”

“No, but I’m not stupid. And if I guess it, then you’re in the clear.” She pursed her lips. “You have a total of two friends in Port Charles. Elizabeth and me.”

“I have other friends—”

“Frat brothers scattered to the corners of the Earth, yes, I know.” Robin tipped her head to the side. “Something wrong with Lucky’s case? And he’s not telling Elizabeth? But it’s something she should know?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that.” Patrick grimaced. “But I really can’t deny it.” He stared at her sullenly. “He revoked her access to his files. Not that she cared, I bet. But it meant I could talk to her. And now I wish I’d said this thing to her before he revoked.”

“But you didn’t.” Robin hesitated. “I’ve known Lucky for years. He’s a good guy—”

“Who just took a swing at me—” Patrick shook his head. “I’m sure he’s a good guy who has had a lot of rotten luck. But he’s being a dick about it—”

“He really went after you? Did you call security?”

Patrick snorted. “Please. He’s got the strength of a fly right now. Anyway, can you think of a way around this whole friend thing? Is there a loophole? Because if I’m right, Elizabeth really should know this. As a human being on this planet, I want her to know—”

“Patrick, can you just—” Robin wrinkled her nose, then sighed. “Look, Elizabeth works at the hospital, so she knows about confidentiality. And she lives with him, so whatever he’s dealing with, she’ll figure out. The only loophole—which I’m sure you know—is imminent danger. If you know something about your patient—”

“I can contact the authorities if I think he’s going to hurt someone, himself, or otherwise break the law. Yeah.” Patrick flicked a pencil across the desk. “No such luck. I think he’s just making a dumb decision.” He paused. “I think…if things don’t change, I think it might be something that could get him in trouble down the line.”

“Okay.” Robin nodded. “So, we wait. We pay attention. I like Elizabeth, too. I haven’t worked with her as much as you have, but she was always a good person.” She touched Patrick’s hand. “I’m sorry we can’t do more.”

“I just—” Patrick shook his head. “There are things that I’m seeing that remind me…” He met her eyes. “They remind of my dad. And sometimes, when my dad got into moods, you stayed clear of him. And that’s all I can say.”

Robin sat back and swallowed the initial protest that she knew Lucky, knew that he wouldn’t do those things. “We’ll keep our eye out, Patrick,” she repeated. “And we’ll stick by Elizabeth. We’ll be her friend. That’s all we can do for now.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

 Sam looked at the clock on the mantelpiece and frowned before picking up her phone to dial Jason’s number. He’d said he’d be early tonight, and she wanted to talk to him—wanted to clear the air. Things had been tense and weird between them since their fight over the maternity test, and Sam wanted things to just go back to the way they had been.

She felt slightly mortified that she’d acted that way on the pier yesterday when she’d seen Jason sitting close to Elizabeth. They’d looked so…intimate. They’d been making eye contact, their bodies turned towards one another—

Sam had been sure something was going on she didn’t understand—but then he’d told her it was about Manny, and Elizabeth had looked positively bewildered by the suggestion of anything else. Whatever weird flirtation they might have had in the past—it was over. Jason had told her that—

The door opened, and Sam turned around to see Jason walk in. “Hey, I was hoping—”

She stopped when Jason didn’t look at her. He hung up his coat, then put his gun in the lockbox in the closet. “What’s wrong?”

“What?” Jason frowned and shook his head. “What are you talking about?”

“You just—you look like something’s wrong.” Sam folded her arms. “I know we’ve been fighting, but—” She bit her lip. “You said you were going to talk to Sonny yesterday. I was asleep when you got home. Is—did something happen?”

“I—” Jason took a deep breath. “Maybe. I don’t know. Elizabeth thinks Manny is watching Skye at the hospital, but Sonny doesn’t seem to think—” He rubbed his eyebrow. “He doesn’t think it’s our problem.”

“Manny isn’t your problem?” Sam repeated skeptically. “How does he figure that? Is that what you and Elizabeth were talking about yesterday?”

“Uh, yeah. She’d just—she’s worried. But Sonny thinks Skye is Alcazar’s problem, and—”

“Since Alcazar decided to start taking over in Miami, he’s fallen off your radar, right?” Sam shrugged. “Maybe Sonny’s right. Alcazar should have a guard on his girlfriend. Especially since she’s pregnant. I mean, are you surprised that’s what he thinks?”

“No,” Jason admitted. “No, I guess I’m not. I just—I think Elizabeth was disappointed,” he continued, his voice dropping just slightly as he’d continued speaking. Sam squinted at that, trying to understand his shift in tone.

“Because she’d thought you’d ride to Skye’s rescue?” Sam asked. “Well, I mean, she doesn’t get it. Right? I mean, you can’t do anything crazy to draw attention to you, the PCPD is still watching Manny, and Skye’s the one walking around without a guard.”

“Yeah—” Jason rubbed his chest, absently. “Yeah, I know. That’s all true. But—”

“But you still feel responsible for Manny,” Sam said slowly. “Because you didn’t kill him when you had the chance. So anything he does is on you.” She wrinkled her nose. “Jason, that’s kind of insane. I mean, Manny’s done crap to a lot of people. Is all of it your fault?”

“No. No, but—”

“He’s not coming after anyone you care about, is he?” Sam asked, arching her brows. “I mean, it’s not like Sonny is telling you to abandon someone who matters. Skye isn’t even really part of your family. Why do you care about her?”

“I don’t, really,” Jason said. But he frowned at her. “But Lila and Emily do. Alan does.”

“Fair enough.” Sam tilted her head. “You told Elizabeth what Sonny said?”

“Uh, yeah.” Jason looked away, looked towards the desk. He put his hands on the back of the chair “I talked to her today. I just came from the hospital.” He glanced at Sam for a moment, then looked away again.

Sam straightened her shoulders. “Jason, you said Elizabeth was someone you trusted, right? I mean, it’s not like she’s trying to get you to do something that you could get in trouble for to help her husband?”

Jason wrinkled his nose, almost in disgust. “No—no, that’s not—she wouldn’t do that. She’s scared of Manny. Lucky already told her they couldn’t do anything. So she’s…”

“I just—I guess I’m trying to figure out why you’re so….” Sam wiggled her fingers. “So weird right now. You agree with me, you agree with Sonny — this isn’t your problem. Except for the fact you always take on the weight of the world. So, what, are you upset because you disappointed Elizabeth Spencer? I didn’t realize you were so close.”

“We’re—we’re not,” Jason said after a long moment. “But that doesn’t mean I like letting her down.”

He said this more to the surface of the desk because he didn’t look up when he said it. Sam narrowed her eyes. “Courtney said something weird to me once.”

Jason looked up, frowned at her. “What—”

“She said that no matter what,” Sam said, folding her arms, “I was never going to measure up to Elizabeth. I thought it was a weird thing to say at the time, and I mostly forgot it. I met Elizabeth later that summer, and I just got this weird vibe that the two of you had been something once.”

“Sam—” Jason exhaled slowly. “Once. A long time ago. It didn’t—It didn’t go anywhere,” he said, almost as if he were forcing the words out. “But we were always friends. We’re just—we’re not that close anymore.”

“But you asked her to run my test—”

“Because I knew I could trust her. And I’d already told her about the orderlies at the hospital watching Manny. Sam, it’s not—” Jason paused. “It’s not more complicated than that.”

“Okay.” Sam pursed her lips. “Then I’m sorry you disappointed a friend, Jason, but she doesn’t live in this world. She doesn’t get it. I mean, do you think Sonny’s wrong about not getting involved?”

“I think there are good reasons not to,” Jason said slowly. “But that doesn’t change the fact that Manny Ruiz is a dangerous psycho, and we’d all be better off if he were gone.”

“You’re not Superman,” Sam said flatly. “It’s not your job to fix the world.”

Jason looked at her for a long moment, and she had a strange thought she’d said the exact wrong thing. “I’m gonna head to the warehouse. We’re expecting a shipment.”

“Jason—” Sam just stared at him as he took down his gun, tucked it into his jeans, then put on his coat. “You just got home—”

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

“But—”

The door closed behind him, and she scowled. Just what the hell had gotten into him lately?

May 13, 2020

This entry is part 5 of 33 in the For the Broken Girl: Reflections of You

Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand
I’ve seen your face before my friend, but I don’t know if you know who I am
Well I was there and I saw what you did, I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe off that grin, I know where you’ve been
It’s all been a pack of lies
In the Air Tonight, Phil Collins


Monday, March 20, 2006

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Elizabeth sighed as she hung up her cell phone and looked at Cameron, seated in his booster seat and smearing applesauce on the plastic tray in front of him. “Well, Aunt Em says she can’t come.”

“That dumb.” Cameron sighed, then shoved his applesauce covered fingers in his mouth and licked them. “Miss Em.”

She sighed. She and Emily hadn’t seen each other outside of the hospital in weeks, which is why she’d decided to spend her day off having breakfast with her best friend. But Emily had called at the last minute — something had come up. Just like every other time they’d tried to make plans.

This was not a good sign. Emily was in the middle of something and not telling anyone. Not that Emily couldn’t have a secret, but Emily’s secrets had a way of blowing up on a person.

Or being stored in a freezer on Spoon Island.

“Elizabeth?”

She looked up to find Skye smiling at her, a cup of tea in her hand. “Do you mind if I join you for a minute?”

“Oh, not at all.” Elizabeth gestured at the empty seat in front of her. “Go ahead.”

“Thanks. And thank you for catching Alan on his way out of surgery. He called later to apologize.” Skye sipped her tea and smiled at Cameron as he examined his applesauce-covered fingers.

“He’ll be two in May.” Elizabeth used one of the wipes she carried with her to clean Cameron’s hands.

“I can’t wait to have those moments,” Skye said. She sighed. “For a long time — I’m sure you know this—I didn’t think I could have children. This—” She rested a hand absently on her abdomen. “This is a miracle I never could have asked for.”

“I know what you mean. Cameron—” Elizabeth couldn’t fight the grin that spread on her face as her son gave her a wide smile with his baby teeth shining at her—then immediately plunged his hand back into his applesauce. “I had a miscarriage just before I got pregnant with Cameron, so he felt doubly precious.”

“The reason I wanted to…” Skye bit her lip. “And please, if I’m being rude or prying, really, I’ll back off. But you just—I feel like you might be the only person I could ask this question.”

“Oh?” Elizabeth raised her brows. “Is everything okay?”

“It is. I’m just…” The redhead hesitated. “You know that this baby—that it’s fathered by Lorenzo Alcazar.”

“I do.”

“And…it’s not like I didn’t know who he was before I got involved with him. And I’m not exactly some innocent civilian.” Skye laughed, her eyes twinkling with a bit of mischief. “I know how to make trouble, but my kind of trouble…well, it’s different from Lorenzo’s.”

“I bet.” Elizabeth pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side. “So…what can I do?”

“It seems silly, but…I don’t know, having a child with a man who…leads a life like this…I suppose I’m thinking about my choices. And…this is so intrusive—I’m sorry—”

“Skye…if you’re thinking about Zander being Cameron’s father, I mean…Zander died before Cameron was born—”

“Oh.” Skye shook her head. “No, I guess I was thinking about you and Jason Morgan. You…I remember that you were dating for a while. Before…” Her lips tightened. “When Lorenzo’s brother, Luis, was in Port Charles.”

“Ah.” Elizabeth leaned back. “Well, I mean, I guess you could call it dating, but we never…we never talked about family.” She tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. “I never knew I wanted to be a mother until I got pregnant the first time, so it wasn’t in my head at all, to be honest. Honestly, Skye, Sam or Carly might be a better person to ask—or Robin.”

“Right. I’m sorry. I never should have—” Flustered, Skye started to stand, but Elizabeth sighed and put out her hand.

But none of those women would probably ever answer Skye’s question, even if she mustered the courage to ask it again. And maybe she wished someone had been there for her back when she’d been asking herself similar questions.

“Listen, I guess if I was honest with myself, the way Jason lives his life never bothered me the way it should have.”

Skye sat back down. “Oh?”

“I mean, yeah, it’s not…you know, my first choice. But it’s what he does. It’s what he did before we ever met. Before we were friends. And, I don’t know…” She bit her lip. “The worst things my life — they never had anything to do with Jason. I was…I was raped when I was a teenager.”

“Oh—”

“I’m married to a cop. And I believe in the law. I really do. I believe in the legal system. But the cops never caught my rapist. And he never paid for what he did to me. He went to jail for something else, but they couldn’t get me justice.” Elizabeth jerked her shoulder. “And look at Manny Ruiz. What did the system do for us there?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“I guess the question you ask yourself, Skye, is if you’re pretending that the life Lorenzo leads has nothing to do with who you are when you’re together. Because you can ignore it for a long time, but not forever. And walking into a relationship with a man like Lorenzo…” She shrugged. “He’s living that life for a reason. What he does is a part of who he is. Otherwise, he’d be doing something else. It’s not all of it, but it’s part of it. So don’t ignore it. You have to be okay with it.”

Skye tilted her face to the side. “Is that what went wrong with you and Jason?” she asked softly. “You ignored it?”

Elizabeth exhaled slowly, looked at Cameron, who grinned at her, then looked back at Syke. “No, I accepted it. I mean, I fell in love with him taking care of him while he was recovering from a bullet wound. His enemies knew who I was, and they put a bomb in my studio. I’ve also been kidnapped and shot at.”

She pressed her lips together. “I never let my face change. I never flinched. But, you know, sometimes, it doesn’t matter what you do if the other person—” She sighed, slowly. It had been a long time since she’d thought of any of this. “It doesn’t matter how much you love someone. Not if they don’t love you back.” Her voice faltered slightly. “And he didn’t.”

“Oh,” Skye breathed. “Oh, I’m sorry—”

“No, no—” Elizabeth shook her head. “It’s okay. I mean, it was terrible for a long time, and I wish—God, I wish he’d told me. I had to figure it out on my own. But we’re okay now. We’re friends again. And I’m—I’ve got my little boy. And I’m…” She stretched her fingers out as if to emphasize her wedding ring. “Things turned out the way they were supposed to, I guess.”

She frowned slightly, looking back at the ring. That was the second time she’d said that this week.

Things had turned out the way they were supposed to. There was something wrong with that phrase. She didn’t know what exactly—

“I really am sorry to have pried, but—”

“But you’re about to become a mother,” Elizabeth finished. She smiled at Skye, a bit sadly. “There’s no question you shouldn’t ask if you want to be a good one. Being a mother—sometimes it makes you braver.” She looked at Cameron. He offered her a handful of applesauce, and she smiled.

And sometimes it made you even more of a coward — but that she kept to herself and Skye mercifully let the topic drop, and they talked for a few minutes about the hospital, about the charity benefit Skye was planning—

And then Elizabeth saw a flash in the window of Kelly’s. A face that disappeared almost as quickly as it had appeared.

Skye didn’t see him, her back to the door, but Elizabeth had seen him. And it was the second time in three days she’d seen Manny Ruiz watching Skye. She swallowed hard.

That wasn’t a coincidence. And she couldn’t let it go.

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Sam crossed her arms protectively in front of her as she stepped off the bottom step. She approached Jason as he sat at his desk — how much paperwork did a mobster even have? She wrinkled her nose over the thought as he turned to look at her.

“Hey.” She perched on the edge of his desk. “So, I, um, feel bad about Saturday. You’re right. I was…trying to pick a fight. And I’m sorry. I really am.”

Jason sat back in the chair and looked at her. “I’m sorry, too. But I can’t go back and…I can’t undo it.”

“No, I know. And, like, most of me gets it, you know? Like, you were trying to protect me. Why even bring it up if it wasn’t true? It’s just your bad luck…” She pursed her lips. “I don’t know. I guess being mad at you means I don’t really have to think about it? I like…not thinking about it.”

“I know.”

“And maybe it does bother me that Elizabeth Spencer knows. That she knew before me. I don’t know why. I guess I don’t want anyone to know.”

“I shouldn’t have—” Jason turned, took her hand in his. “I just—she told me the results were positive and I guess—I don’t know—I knew I was going to have to tell you, then I thought maybe I wouldn’t—I knew this would hurt you, Sam. That’s the last thing I wanted.”

“Yeah, so I guess I have to be a little grateful to Elizabeth for knocking some sense into you. It’s nice that you have someone that can do that for you. I guess….you know, I didn’t realize you were really friends. I mean, I knew you were once, but I thought it was over.”

“We’re not close,” Jason offered with a shrug. “But we used to be. And I don’t know, sometimes we can still talk to each other.” He frowned when she just pressed her lips together. “Why—why does that bother you?”

“I guess I don’t like thinking there’s a woman out there that gets you. It’s stupid, I know. But, like, she used to have a thing for you.”

“Uh, yeah, well…” Jason cleared his throat. “All of that was a long time ago.” He hesitated, wondering if he should add more because he could see that Sam was upset. He also knew it wasn’t true that Elizabeth had had a thing for him—not the way she meant it. She made it sound like it had been one-sided.

But he didn’t. He didn’t know how to describe his relationship with Elizabeth. He never had. And this wasn’t the time to start.

“What are you going to do about Alexis?” Jason asked finally.

Sam pursed her lips and frowned at him. But she allowed the change of subject. “I don’t want Alexis to know. And I don’t need any answers. Not anymore. Because, you know, they don’t matter. She didn’t want me. And it doesn’t matter why Cody McCall did. He took me from someone who threw me away like garbage—”

“Sam, she was sixteen. Her father must have done all of that—”

“She still did it. And she never looked for me. All those connections—” Sam shook her head. “She could have found me. She didn’t want me then, she doesn’t want me now. It just—none of it matters. I guess—”

She tilted her head to the ceiling. “I don’t know what I expected when I found my birth mother. I think…maybe I thought it would…all snap back into place, you know? Like I’d get the name, and I’d just—I’d feel like myself again. But knowing doesn’t change anything.”

Sam looked at him, met his eyes. “And if doing this job with Paulie makes me feel like myself again, then that’s what I have to do.”

“Okay.”

“I just need to have a win, Jase. That’s it. Just one win. I can do this. I’m good at this, you know. And I’ll just—I need this.”

“Okay,” Jason repeated.

“But you’re still not happy about it.”

“It doesn’t—”

“C’mon, yeah, it does.” Sam slid off the desk and folded her arms again. “It matters that you don’t want me to do it. Why can’t you just let me have this?”

“I’m not telling you that you can’t,” Jason told her. “You’re the one making this a big deal. You said you need this. So go do it. It’s not my job to approve of what you do, Sam. You’re the one that has to live with it.”

“And I’m doing just fine,” she snapped. “I can sleep at night. And so can you. You’re no better than me—”

“I never said that I was—”

“Sure, but you think you are. You’re an honorable mobster, but I’m just a dirty con artist.” She scowled. “It’s bullshit. We’re both criminals. That’s what makes this work—”

“It’s not that simple—” Jason bit off his protest as his phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID, then answered the phone. “What’s up? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Stay there. I’ll meet you.” He hung up. “I have to go.”

“Jason—”

“We’ll—” Jason sighed. “We’ll talk later.”

When he’d left, she sighed and let herself drop like a stone onto the sofa. Talking later wouldn’t change anything. One way or another, Sam would get him to admit this damn double standard and figure out how to make him understand that she didn’t want to keep closing off a part of herself.

Not for anyone.

After another moment, she got up to get changed. She needed to take a walk and clear her head.

General Hospital: Patrick Drake’s Office

Lucky winced as he lowered himself into a chair and faced Patrick sitting at his desk, his face carefully blank—

As if he knew exactly why Lucky had called for an appointment a week sooner than Patrick had suggested.

“How’s your physical therapy going?” Patrick asked blandly as he opened Lucky’s file and pulled a pencil from a cup on his desk. “Did you want to schedule another MRI?”

“No, I—” Lucky took a deep breath. “I’m following the schedule my therapist wanted me, but it’s—it’s hard.” He leaned forward slightly to take the pressure from his back. Every inch of him felt like he was on fire.

“I know, but it’s necessary if you want to get back to full and active duty sooner rather than later.” Patrick sighed, then looked down at the file. “How’s the pain?” he asked finally, but he didn’t look up.

Because he had to know. Of course, the asshole knew exactly how bad Lucky felt.

“Unbearable,” Lucky told him. “I—I ran out of my prescription.”

Patrick sighed. “I…thought you might have. Look, Lucky—”

“I get why you’re—I get it, okay? And it pisses me off that I’m even doing this. This isn’t who I am, Patrick.” Lucky leaned forward even more, his voice pitched low, almost a growl. “I’m angry all the time because of the pain. I’m snapping at Elizabeth—I’m a terrible husband, a shitty stepfather—I’m in pain all, Patrick. And I just—I need some relief. Just a little bit.”

“I hear you, but the fact is…we have new dosage guidelines for opiates from the board, and I’m just…I’m not comfortable continuing to keep you on pain meds. You’ve developed a tolerance for the recommended dosage, and I’m just—I’m not going to increase it. You’ve also gone through this prescription too fast. I warned you—”

“I just—I’m working hard. I’m doing the program—”

“Did you call the pain clinic?” Patrick asked. When Lucky just glared at him, his doctor sighed. “They can help you manage the pain, get through the bad days. Get you through the therapy. You’re in a bad mood, Lucky, not just because of the pain, but you’re probably going through withdrawal.” He tipped his head to the side. “When did you run out?”

Lucky scowled. “Two days ago, but—”

“Yeah, that makes sense. It’s been four straight months of opiates, and two days without—”

“I’m not a fucking drug addict—”

“People rarely choose addiction,” Patrick said. His tone was kind, but Lucky just heard the asshole patronizing him as if he were a child. “And the number one way people develop one is through abuse of pain prescriptions.”

“Abuse?” Lucky shot his feet and grunted as fire danced up his spine. He took a deep breath, bracing his hands on the desk. “I took them the way I was told to—”

“If you took the recommended dose, Lucky, you’d still have half the bottle left. But you’re taking them when you feel pain. Not when the body can handle it.” Patrick also stood. “I’m sorry that you don’t agree with me. I really am. But it’s not responsible for me to continue giving you pain pills when you’re clearly developing a dependence. We need to get a handle on it now—”

“Fuck you. I’m a goddamn cop. I was injured in the line of duty, and you’re telling me I have to suffer just because I took a few extra pills now and again.” Lucky shook his head. “I’m not an addict. I’m just trying to get my life back—”

“I know. The pain clinic can help—”

“Fuck the clinic. I’m going to another doctor—”

“That’s your right. And maybe another doctor will see it differently. But they’ll be wrong. And they won’t be doing you any favors.” Patrick sighed. “Did you tell Elizabeth about the pain clinic—”

“No. And don’t you be telling her any of this bullshit about me being a drug addict. I’m the patient; don’t I have any goddamn privacy?”

“As your wife, she was allowed access to your records during your hospitalizations, but if you’re revoking that—”

“I am! I don’t need you filling her head with any of this. You’ll be getting a call from my next doctor. Because this is bullshit. Tony would have done this for me—”

“That’s probably true,” Patrick allowed with a shrug. “But he would have been wrong. But you’re free to get another opinion.”

“That’s exactly what I’m gonna do!” Lucky slammed the door behind him as he stormed out.

Elm Street Pier

Restless, Elizabeth sat on a bench, crossed her arms and stared out over the water. She just—she needed to clear her conscience about this. She would have told Jason what she’d seen over the phone, but he’d insisted on meeting her in person.

She wasn’t sure if she really wanted to see him in person, which was crazy. She’d seen him a handful of times over the last few weeks—they could talk to each other like ordinary people again. There shouldn’t be a reason for her to dread seeing Jason, of looking at his face.

Except for all the ways looking at him, talking to him suddenly felt more complicated than it had even a day earlier.

It wasn’t just the fight with Lucky or the reminder from Emily that people still remembered that stupid Christmas party—and it wasn’t the conversations they’d had about his lying to her about Sonny or that he’d taken her seriously about Manny—

None of that helped, but it was the conversation she’d had with Skye that morning, the mistake she should have stopped herself from making. She shouldn’t have let herself remember the pain she’d felt at the end of their relationship or the agony of knowing her love for him hadn’t been returned.

Remembering at all that she’d been in love with him, and he’d never felt the same way was something she didn’t want or need in her life. Once this stuff with Manny was over, Elizabeth very much wanted to go back to pretending Jason Morgan was nothing more than her best friend’s older brother.

“Elizabeth?”

She looked at the sound of Jason’s voice as he stepped up from Pier 52; he must have parked at the Corinthos-Morgan warehouse. She got to her feet. “Hey. You really didn’t need to come all the way down here—”

“I needed to get out of the house,” Jason said but didn’t elaborate. “You said you wanted to talk to me about Manny. What happened since yesterday?”

“I mean, I could be overreacting—I probably am—”

“Elizabeth,” Jason interrupted before she could really pick up steam. “I told you. Whatever you see, you tell me. You let me decide if it’s important.”

“Right.” She dragged her hand through her hair. “I was at Kelly’s today—it’s my day off, and I was supposed to have breakfast with Emily—she canceled again, by the way, so something is really wrong there—but Skye came over to ask me—” She stopped. Flushed. “To ask me something. It’s not important.”

Jason squinted. “It’s not?”

“No.” Absolutely not. “Anyway, we were talking for a while—I was facing the door, her back was to it—and I just—I saw Manny in the window. He was looking at us—at Skye, I mean. Not me. He has no reason to look at me. But then he disappeared. It’s just—it’s the second time—”

“Yeah, it’s the second time you’ve caught him around Skye.” Jason grimaced. “Are you sure it’s…just Skye? That he’s not letting you see him?”

“Oh.” Elizabeth blinked. “I—I hadn’t thought about that. Oh. Do you think he’s…maybe he saw us at the hospital last week, and he’s just—he wants to annoy you? Aren’t there easier ways?”

“Yeah, but Manny plays games. It’s his thing.” Jason rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t like the idea of him using you to get at me. I mean, I don’t doubt he’s planning something against Skye.” He paused. “He’s not watching you any other time?”

“Uh—” She stared at him, her mouth dry for a moment as her heart began to race. “Wait. Wait. You think Manny—you’re not kidding. There’s—Jason, there are easier ways,” she repeated. “Emily works at the hospital. Monica works there. They’re actually—” She crossed her arms again, hiding her sweaty palms. Was she really having this conversation?

“Hey.” He stepped forward, pitching his voice low. “I told you. I have guys on Manny. And I—” He grimaced. “I’d send one of my guys in to watch over you, just to make sure, but that’s—Manny would know. And so would anyone else—”

“Which is a whole other problem.” Elizabeth released a long breath. “Listen, I’m overreacting. It’s about Skye. It has to be. I’m just—she’s just talked to me twice. That’s all it is. He’s probably around her a lot more, and no one else is noticing.”

“Yeah, probably.” Jason hesitated. “I don’t like taking the chance though that he’s doing something on purpose. Promise me you won’t confront him.”

“Not unless Skye’s in danger or someone else,” Elizabeth told him. Jason scowled, but she shook her head. “Look, if he, like, pulls out a knife or goes after him where I can see him—I’m—I can call you all I want, but it won’t be fast enough. I can’t let her—or anyone—get hurt—”

“It’s not that I doubt you’re brave enough to do something—”

“Don’t say brave when you really mean stupid.”

“I didn’t say you were stupid.” He hesitated. “Reckless, maybe—”

“Oh—” Her scowl deepened. She folded her arms and arched her brow. “You’re going to want a different word.”

Jason pinched his lips together. “Elizabeth—”

“You always do this—” She took a deep breath. “You always did this,” Elizabeth corrected, a bit more softly. “I’m not stupid, Jason. I’m not reckless. I know how to take care of myself. When Manny grabbed me last fall, I kept my cool, and I got myself out of that.”

“Elizabeth—” He exhaled slowly. “I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to get hurt. I know how much you care about other people. That’s all I meant. You care too much, and, sometimes, you jump in without thinking.”

“I—” She winced. “Okay. Yes, I do that.”

“That’s all I’m saying, Elizabeth.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. “Just—Look, maybe it won’t come to that.” Jason shifted. “I’m gonna go over Sonny’s ask him to do something.” He gestured to the bench. “Sit down for a minute. I don’t want anyone to overhear us.”

“Yeah, okay.” She sighed and sat down. She attempted to keep a few feet of space between them, but clearly, Jason didn’t seem to understand what she was trying to do. He slid closer, almost so that their thighs were pressed together.

This was more than she needed today. Not after that walk down memory lane with Skye.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why Manny is…” He sighed. “Still around.”

“The thought has crossed my mind,” Elizabeth said slowly, understanding that they were talking around something that Jason never ever spoke to her about. “But I figured…people are still watching him. If…he got hurt, you’d be the first…you and Sonny, I mean. So there’s no point in doing…anything…until you’ve got a reason. You know, imminent danger or something.”

Jason squinted at her. “Uh, yeah. I didn’t—I didn’t think—I mean—”

“Look, we don’t have to say what we’re talking about. We don’t need to.” She met his eyes. “But I get it, Jason. And you don’t have to worry about me…saying anything.” She stared down at her wedding band. “To anyone.”

“I—” Jason pulled back slightly. “Thanks. But…” He trailed off and frowned at her.

“Why?” Elizabeth finished. She sighed. “I know it’s insane, and I’m sure Lucky would think I’m…a bad wife, or whatever. But it’s…I’ve always known who you are, Jason. And I know what I’m doing when I call you to tell you about Manny. I’m not an idiot.”

“I never thought you were—”

“And it’s—we haven’t really had to have this conversation in a long time,” Elizabeth said after a long moment, “but you don’t have to worry about me. You can trust me, and I know that you’ll handle the Manny situation. That’s why I called you. You’re taking me seriously. I don’t want to be involved. He scares me.”

She bit her lip, broke their eye contact, and looked back out over the lake. “Honestly, I’m terrified of him. And I’m terrified he’ll hurt Skye. Or someone else. But I know I can trust you to take care of it. To care of her.”

And you,” Jason pressed. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you either. I don’t know if Manny is letting you see him on purpose, but I won’t take any chances. Not with you.”

“I know that.” She looked at him again, their eyes holding. “Some things never change.”

“No.” A corner of his mouth hitched up in a slight smile. “No, they don’t.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt.”

A flat voice from the top of the stairs broke into their conversation, and Elizabeth blinked. She drew back, first just her head, then her entire body as she slid to one end of the bench.

Jason sighed and got to his feet. “Sam.”

“Talking about me again?” Sam demanded as she sauntered down the steps. “You looking for some more gossip?” she shot at Elizabeth, who slowly stood up.

“No,” Elizabeth said calmly. “I need to go. I dropped Cam off with my grandmother,” she told Jason, “but I want to spend the rest of my day with him.”

“I’ll call you,” he told her as she walked away, crossing over to Bannister’s Wharf before dropping out of sight. He turned his attention back to his fiancée. “We weren’t talking about you.”

“Oh, then why were you all curled up?” Sam demanded. “Practically drooling all over each other—”

Jason scowled. “What does—we were talking about Manny Ruiz, and I didn’t want anyone to hear us.”

Sam blinked, and some of the flushed color left her cheeks. “Manny? Oh. Elizabeth—is she watching him for you at the hospital?”

“Not officially. But she’s passing me any info she thinks I need to know. We’re friends, Sam. And I don’t want her to get hurt while she’s trying to help.”

“Oh,” she repeated. “I’m sorry. I just—”

“Yeah, well, I need to go. I need to go talk to Sonny. I’ll see you at home.”

“Jason, wait,” Sam called.

Her words were lost on the wind as he walked away from her and didn’t look back.

Greystone Manor: Living Room

Jason was still irritated after his brief encounter with Sam and more worried about  Elizabeth than he had been already when he arrived at Sonny’s. Then he was told by Max that he had to wait in the foyer because Sonny was busy.

He was tired of Sonny ditching meetings and avoiding him. It was one thing when it was penny-ante shit like the Escobars, but Manny Ruiz was a real threat. People were in actual danger.

Jason frowned at the guard. “Didn’t you tell him what it was about?”

“You know…” Max cleared his throat, rubbed his hand over his chest, then tugged at his tie. “You know I did, but, ah, maybe I didn’t do it loud enough. Or you know, I’m not good at remembering things—”

“Max.”

The guard offered a sheepish smile. “I told him, Jase, but he said he was in the middle of something—”

Something more important than the psychopath that was currently stalking the halls of the hospital. Maybe Manny wasn’t threatening anyone Sonny gave a damn about, but if there was even the slightest chance the asshole was going to go after Skye or Elizabeth—Jason wasn’t going to let him get away with it.

Skye wasn’t part of his family, but she mattered to Emily. His grandmother had adored her. And she was still considered part of the Quartermaine family.

And Elizabeth—

Well, her protection was non-negotiable. She was taking a chance to keep them informed about Manny, and Jason wasn’t going to let her dangle in the wind. She had a little boy that depended on her.

And she just mattered. He wasn’t going to let her down.

Finally, after nearly five minutes, Sonny jerked open the foyer door and gestured for Jason to come in. Jason stalked past him as his partner dragged his hand through his hair, the usually meticulous strands disheveled.

“What the hell were you doing?” Jason demanded as he spun on his heel to glare at Sonny. “I called you twenty minutes ago. I told you it was about Manny Ruiz.”

“Yeah, but you said it wasn’t an emergency—”

“Not an imminent one, but—” Jason shook his head. “Never mind. Elizabeth told me yesterday that she caught Manny following Skye around the hospital. And then I just saw her a little while ago. She saw Manny hanging around Skye again today.”

Sonny stared at him for a long moment before arching a brow. “And? This is what you came over for? To tell me Manny is staring at a woman? I’ve seen Skye. She’s good looking.”

Jason squinted. “And she’s carrying Lorenzo Alcazar’s kid. The same guy Manny blames for his father’s death. For his brother’s death. He hates Alcazar more than he hates us. So yeah, it matters that Manny is following her around.”

“Maybe he’s looking for Alcazar’s weak spot.” Sonny shrugged as he walked past Jason to pour himself a drink. “And what is Elizabeth calling you for? She’s married to a cop. She should be bugging him.”

Jason didn’t know what to do with Sonny’s reaction. “There’s also the problem that he might be letting Elizabeth catch him on purpose.”

“Well, why would that matter? How would Manny know that would do him any good?” Sonny shook his head. “I get it. You’re worried about her. But Manny doesn’t know the two of you were friends. And that was ages ago.” He smirked as he sipped his bourbon. “There’s like five people left that remember, and none of them are our enemies.”

“Why…” Jason hesitated. “Why are you brushing this off? Even if it’s nothing, we need to stay on top of it. We’ve been wondering why Ruiz stuck around Port Charles. Maybe he’s going after Skye. And I was at the hospital last week. Manny saw me with Elizabeth—”

“Yeah? That’s weird. What’re you doing hanging around a cop’s wife?” Sonny wanted to know. He sat on the sofa, leaning back and lounging. “Did you break up with Sam, and I missed it?”

“No—but Lucky already told her there’s nothing he can do about it. Elizabeth is worried. She knows Skye. And Skye is pregnant.”

“Tell Elizabeth to stay out of it. And Skye can get Alcazar to protect her. It’s not our problem. Manny comes for us, that’s different. But we don’t need to be bringing problems down on us right now. Not when things are running smoothly.”

“You mean because the Escobars are sticking to Courtland Street? You think that’ll last?” Jason scoffed. “And if Manny goes after Skye, people are gonna notice. Maybe he’ll come after us next.”

“And maybe he’s just hanging around for revenge. Look, if it bothers you so much, but another guy at the hospital. Maybe someone to just follow Elizabeth around. You seem to be mostly worried about her.” Sonny lifted his brows, then stood back up. “Is there something I should know there? Why are you hanging around her again? I repeat. She’s a cop’s wife, and her loyalties are different now. How do you know she’s not trying to get you to do something Lucky can arrest you for?”

“Are you…” The word crazy lingered on Jason’s tongue, but he swallowed it before he said it. “That’s not something Elizabeth would do. She came to me, Sonny. And I don’t like the idea of Manny using her. Yeah, most people don’t know—” He hesitated. “Most people don’t remember—”

He simply didn’t know how to put it into words. People didn’t know that he and Elizabeth had been close? That she’d once been the best way to get to him? For several years, only she, Emily, and Michael had mattered to him.

“Most people don’t remember,” Jason said finally. “But most isn’t no one. And all Manny has to do is ask the right person.”

“So, stay away from Elizabeth.” Sonny shrugged. “I’m not saying you’re wrong about Manny going after Skye. I’m saying I don’t know what you want me to do. We agreed that going after Manny while the PCPD is still watching him so closely will just bring crap on us we don’t need. Right now, he’s laying low.”

“So what? We wait for him to hurt someone—”

“I’m not in the business of saving people who don’t matter to me,” Sonny said flatly. “Skye is Alcazar’s problem. Not mine. Elizabeth gives a damn so much, maybe she should call him.”

“Fine.” Jason waited a moment before he turned to leave. “I don’t know what the hell has been distracting you lately, but I need you to get it together.”

“What does that mean?” Sonny demanded.

“It means that you’re not paying attention. You broke at least two promises to be with the boys, and you haven’t been showing up to meetings with me.”

Jason shook his head. “Skye doesn’t matter to you, fine. But she matters to people in my life. To Emily, to my grandmother—she didn’t ask for a psycho to target her. I’m not going to abandon her—or Elizabeth—because they don’t matter to you. Manny Ruiz and his crazy family came to Port Charles because of us. Because of Alcazar. That makes it our problem.”

“Then go solve it. What do you need me for?”

Jason didn’t answer that question out loud as he left Sonny in his living room and left the estate. But he was starting to ask himself that same question.

Lucky & Elizabeth’s Apartment: Living Room

“Cameron, for the last time, you are not supposed to climb the walls,” Elizabeth said as she dragged her toddler off the back of the chair he’d pushed against the wall. “What did you think you were going to do?”

“I tape my hands.” Cameron showed her his little palms and grinned. “I climb like Biderman!”

“You fall like a human boy—” Elizabeth grimaced as someone knocked on her door. She tossed Cameron onto the sofa as he giggled. “You try to climb those walls again, buddy, I’m gonna tape you to your bed.”

She opened the door, frowning when she saw Sam in the hallway. “Hey. I—” She frowned. She didn’t even know Sam knew where she lived. “Hi.”

“Look, Jason told me you’re helping him with Manny.” Sam pursed her lips. “That’s fine. I’m glad. I hate him. But—” She looked away, then met Elizabeth’s eyes again. “But that’s all, okay? I don’t want you talking to him about me.”

“We—we haven’t—”

“Really? Because I know you know.” Sam folded her arms. “Don’t tell anyone.”

“I wasn’t going to—” Elizabeth shook her head. “Sam, we haven’t talked about it since that first day—and I’m—I’m sorry. I never would—”

“Whatever. You and Jason aren’t friends. You weren’t before any of this, and you’re married to a cop. So you should just remember that.”

“Uh, okay—” Elizabeth frowned as Sam stalked away.

“Mommy? Who that?” Cameron tugged on her pant leg. “Can I have popsick?”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth shook her head, then smiled down at her son. “Yeah, let’s go get some Popsicles.” She closed the door and put Sam out of her mind entirely.

May 11, 2020

This entry is part 4 of 33 in the For the Broken Girl: Reflections of You

I don’t care what you think,
As long as it’s about me
The best of us can find happiness, in misery
I don’t care what you think,
As long as it’s about me
The best of us can find happiness, in misery
I Don’t Care, Fall Out Boy


Saturday, March 18, 2006

 General Hospital: ICU

“Elizabeth, have you seen Alan around?”

Elizabeth glanced up from her chart to find Skye Chandler-Quartermaine standing in front of her, clutching some folders with her pretty red hair twisted up in a ponytail.

“No, he’s not usually up here this time of day. I can have him paged—”

“Oh, they said he was on the surgical floor.” Skye sighed, setting the folders down. She braced a hand at the small of her back, wincing. “How is it that my back is the first part that of me hurts? I’m barely even showing.”

Elizabeth managed a smile. “For me, it was my feet. I feel like they grew a size overnight.” She glanced down at her feet. “I’m not sure they’ve ever felt right again.”

“All the things they never tell you about being pregnant,” Skye sighed. “Anyway, I’m supposed to meet Alan about the charity auction he asked me to organize. To raise money for patients affected by the virus and having trouble paying the costs.”

“And he didn’t answer your page?” Elizabeth raised her brows and clicked into her OR rotation schedule screen on the computer. “Oh. It looks like he scrubbed in to observe surgery with Noah Drake. That’s weird.”

“Maybe he forgot I was coming by.” Skye sighed, lifted the folders again. “Well, I’ll leave a message with his secretary. I know he said he was nervous about Noah getting back into surgery, so maybe he just wanted to be there.”

“Still.” Elizabeth shrugged. “I’ll keep an eye out for him and let him know he missed you.”

“Thanks.” Skye waved as she stepped onto the elevator. As Elizabeth looked down at her chart, she caught sight of the tan uniform the hospital janitors wore as someone ducked back down a hallway.

Elizabeth hesitated, then went towards the hallway only to see Manny Ruiz as he disappeared down a service stairwell. Had he…been watching Skye? Why? And if he hadn’t been, why had he rushed away?

Uneasy, Elizabeth returned to the nurse’s station and to her charts. She knew that Manny hadn’t done anything to make Jason’s men suspicious yet, but she couldn’t shake the way she felt when she caught him looking at her—as if he was just laughing at them all.

Jake’s: Bar

 “Hey, man.” Jesse Beaudry clapped a hand on Lucky’s shoulder as he took a seat on the barstool next to his partner. “How’s therapy going?” He ordered a beer from Coleman behind the bar. “You get a return date yet?”

Lucky grimaced. “No.” He tossed back the shot of whiskey he’d ordered just before Jesse had arrived. “Drake isn’t going to give me one until I can pass a goddamn physical.” He looked at his friend. “Give it to me straight. How much longer is Mac gonna hold my position on the squad?”

Jesse hesitated, distracted himself by taking a long pull from his Budweiser. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “We’re swamped, you know. The Escobars are starting to get restless. Mac is under a lot of pressure from the mayor—”

“Jesse—”

“Maybe a few more weeks. Hey, look, they can’t fire you—”

“No, but I’ll get stuck on desk duty for months, even if I get a return date.” Lucky scowled. “Therapy isn’t working,” he admitted. “I’m trying to double it up, but I can’t do it as much as I want. Elizabeth’s grandmother can only pick Cameron up twice a week. I have to do it the other four days she works.”

Jesse frowned. “Why can’t Elizabeth get someone else to do it? What about the kid’s real dad?”

“His real dad is dead,” Lucky said. With a sneer, he added, “You should look him up sometime — Zander Smith. He died in a shootout with the PCPD. He never even met Cameron.”

“How’d she hook up with him?” Jesse said, furrowing his brow. “He doesn’t seem like her type.”

“Oh, she’s got a thing about criminals,” Lucky muttered. “She screwed around with Jason Morgan, too, before we were married.” He nodded at Coleman to order another shot. “I’m the outlier.”

“Oh.” Jesse cleared his throat. “Well, listen, man, just do what you can in therapy. I’ll try to get Mac to hold off. But you gotta put your recovery first. Tell Elizabeth to take some time off or something. Change her shift. Marriage is supposed to be a compromise, right?” He shrugged. “Why should you have to lose your chance to get back on the job because her kid needs a babysitter?”

Lucky winced. “Listen, it’s—I’ve been Cameron’s stepfather for almost a year. He’s not even two. I’m the only father he’s ever known—”

“And what kind of dad are you gonna be if you get stuck on desk duty?” Jesse pushed. “You’re telling me Elizabeth won’t put you first for a little while so you can all get back on track? Seriously?”

Lucky exhaled slowly, then nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. It’s hard right now, but Elizabeth has always had my back. And her supervisor loves her. She’ll do us the favor. Thanks, man.”

Greystone Manor: Foyer

Jason was already annoyed when he walked into the foyer that night — he’d learned from the guards at the entrance that Sonny wasn’t home yet. It had taken Jason three days to catch Sonny on the phone and set up a meeting to talk about the Escobars, and now it looked like Sonny was ditching him. Again

He frowned when he saw Rocco, Carly’s guard, lounging in the foyer with an irritated look on his face. “What are you doing here? Where’s—” He grimaced.

“Oh, that’s real nice.”

Jason turned to find Carly Corinthos, Sonny’s ex-wife and Jason’s sort of best friend, leaning against the doorway to the living room. She raised a brow. “You don’t look happy to see me.”

“I’m not. You only come over here to yell at Sonny, and I’m not in the mood for this tonight—”

“Well, don’t worry.” Carly rolled her eyes and stalked into the living room. Jason followed, closing the doors behind them. She poured herself a glass of water from Sonny’s minibar. “He’s not here.”

“Yeah, they told me down at the guardhouse, but we’re meeting tonight, so he should be here eventually—”

“Sure.” Carly rolled her eyes. “Just like he promised Michael and Morgan he’d have dinner with us tonight, then didn’t show up.” She pressed her lips together. “You know, it’s one thing to dick you over, but to break a promise to the boys?”

Jason frowned. Sonny didn’t usually do either of those things unless—he closed his eyes. “Damn it.”

“Oh, man, the last time Sonny was blowing you and the boys off, he was bouncing with his last mattress buddy.” Carly winced. “I’m not in the mood for this. The boys both keep asking for Courtney, I’m trying to help Jax with little John—I do not have time for the car crash of Sonny’s love life.”

“Carly—”

She jabbed a finger at him. “It’s your job to clean up after Sonny.”

“It’s really not,” Jason said flatly. “I don’t have time for this, either.”

“Oh, right—” Carly pursed her lips. “Speaking of Sonny’s mattress buddies, how is Sam doing? Her brother died, right?”

Jason shot her a dirty look, but Carly just stared at him blandly. “She’s handling it.”

“Hey, I indicated an interest in someone other than myself. I’m trying—” She tapped her foot. “Who do you think it is? Because the last time Sonny was hiding his romantic interests, it was because we were still married and he was trying really hard not to lose custody of the boys—”

“Plus half of everything he owned,” Jason reminded her.

Carly smiled sweetly at him. “If Sonny didn’t think I was owed half of everything, then he should have asked for a prenup. Which reminds me — you better get Justus to take care of that for you. You don’t want Sam taking you for everything—”

“Carly—”

“Hey, I know what I’m talking about. It took a lot to get me out of my prenup with AJ—” She shook her head. “In retrospect, Sonny really should have seen my demands coming. He helped me out of the first marriage.”

“Yeah, I mentioned that.”

“I’m going home to the boys. I’m done waiting around for Sonny Corinthos. You tell him this is the last time he’s going to break a promise to the boys—”

“The last time?” Jason frowned. “He’s done it before? I mean, recently?”

“Last week.” Carly sighed. “I know I like to snark about Sonny—and torture him. But the boys—I know you and Courtney broke up, and it’s fine. But they loved her. Tell Sonny I’m not going to let him disappoint them anymore.”

“I’ll talk to him. Carly—” He touched her elbow as she left. “I’m sorry. I should have checked in on you. How are you holding up?”

“I’m dealing. Having Courtney’s son, taking care of him—” She flashed him a smile. “It’s helping. And the boys love their cousin. I just—I don’t want to make them part of this war with Sonny. He’s not leaving me any choice. I’m not going through this again with him.”

“I get it, Carly. I’ll talk to him.” Jason grimaced. “Eventually.”

Carly folded her arms, narrowed her eyes. “What’s wrong? You think I can’t tell when you’ve got a bug up your ass.” She lifted her chin. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Jason said. “I’ll talk to Sonny—”

“Look, I know—” Carly exhaled in a huff. “I know I said it was your job to clean up after Sonny, but, Jase, you know I don’t mean it.”

Jason looked at her. “Carly—”

“I’m tired,” she admitted. “I’m tired of this fight with him. Every time he gets distracted by someone or something else, the boys get put through this.” She met his eyes. “Aren’t you tired, too?”

“Carly—”

“It’s not your job to clean up after Sonny all the time. Or me,” she continued with a grimace. “I just—you look tired, too. And you won’t tell me what’s wrong. You never do.” Carly hesitated. “You’re not Superman. You know that, right?”

“I’ll talk to you later, Carly.”

Lucky & Elizabeth’s Apartment: Living Room

Elizabeth dragged her hand through her hair and sighed as she cradled the receiver in the crook of the neck and cheek so she could finish tucking Cameron’s toys away.

“No, Gram. I understand. I wish I could come, too. No, really—I’ll figure something out with Cam—”

As Audrey again apologized for the short notice, Elizabeth sighed and grimaced as Lucky came through the door, leaving heavily on his cane. “Okay, Gram. Yeah. Okay. I’ll talk to you later. Have a good trip.”

She hung the phone up and picked up the cane from the floor where Lucky had let it drop to the floor after he’d sat down. “How was therapy?”

“Same,” Lucky grunted as he laid back on the sofa, putting his feet up with a wince. “Nothing changed. Still hurts like hell.” He lifted his head up slightly as Elizabeth finished putting away Cameron’s toys and moved on to folding the laundry she’d picked up from the laundromat that morning. “What did Audrey want?”

“She’s going to Memphis next week,” Elizabeth told him. “And she’s gonna stay for like a month.”

“A month?” Lucky sat up, then scowled. “Who’s gonna pick Cameron up? Why is she going now?”

“Steven just got engaged,” Elizabeth told him with a bit of a wistful sigh. She’d like to meet her brother’s fiancée, but there was no time off for her, and Steven probably wasn’t going to come to Port Charles anytime soon. “Gram wanted to go down and spend some time with him. My parents are supposed to fly in, too, and Gram hasn’t seen them in a couple of years.” She laughed absently as she folded one of Cameron’s shirts. “I haven’t seen them since I moved here.”

Lucky eyed her with a strangely panicked look. “You can’t go. You don’t even like your family, and we can’t afford it.”

Elizabeth frowned at him. What a strange thing to say. “I—” She blinked at him. “No, I can’t go. I was just…thinking about them, that’s all. They haven’t even met Cameron yet. At the rate we’re going, they probably never will.” It didn’t bother her that her family was so uninvolved. Not really. But it might have been nice to go for a weekend just to catch up. She’d always liked her brother.

“Anyway, I’m not sure what to do about Cameron. I work better hours, but I still work until six or seven most nights,” she pointed out. “And if we leave him in daycare past four, they charge double the hourly rate.”

“So you’ll have to cut back hours at work,” Lucky said. He hauled himself to his feet and shuffled into the kitchen, where he pulled out a beer. She grimaced as he pulled off the top. He really shouldn’t be mixing alcohol with pain medication, but she knew better than to tell him that. “I was going to talk to you about it anyway. I need to double up on my therapy sessions, so I can’t pick up Cameron anymore. You need to change your shift or cut back—”

Elizabeth held up her hand. “Whoa. That’s—that’s not an option. I can’t cut my hours, Lucky. I just transferred upstairs. I can probably move some of my shifts around and get out early, but then I’m still dropping him off early at a daycare, which is still going to cost money.” She hesitated. “You know the best thing—at least for a few weeks—”

“I’m not rescheduling my rehab—”

“You don’t have to. You can go earlier,” Elizabeth pointed out. “Mac told you that you could go to therapy during your work hours—”

“And have them carry me, pay me to do nothing?” Lucky glared at her. “You’re always complaining we don’t have any damn money, and now you want me to give up what little I do make?”

“It’ll cost us more than you make to keep him in daycare,” Elizabeth told him. Her stomach twisted as she continued folding clothes. She was trying very hard not to think about the fact that she was practically begging Lucky to take care of the little boy he’d promised to love as his own. “It would just be—”

“You think your job is better than mine?” Lucky demanded. “I’m a cop. I save lives, damn it! You just clean up piss and shit.”

And that was absolutely it. She’d had enough.

She shot her to her feet, incensed. “Yeah, the PCPD did a bang-up job with Manny Ruiz. I have to see that psycho every damn day! But tell me how you save lives?”

Lucky took a long swig of his beer, then dragged the back of his hand over his mouth, his glare deepening into something like that looked like hatred. “Oh, I bet your fucking lover boy Jason Morgan could take care of him, right? You’re always picking him over me!”

Elizabeth threw up her hands. “You know sometimes you’re just impossible! Jason has nothing to do with this! I told you Manny makes me uncomfortable at work. I asked you if Mac was gonna do anything about him working there—and he’s done nothing—”

“Nothing he can do,” Lucky bit out. “The system let him out. It’s not perfect, but it’s what we got. And he hasn’t done anything, so maybe the tumor thing is real—”

“Except today I saw him following Skye Quartermaine,” she shot back, planting her hands on her hips. “Mac can’t even get someone to follow him around the damn hospital?”

“Oh, come on, was he actually following her?” Lucky demanded. “You’re just pissed because I won’t drop everything to fix a problem that has nothing to do with me—”

Elizabeth stared at him for a long moment, her fury draining as quickly as it had risen. “Cameron has nothing to do with you?”

“I didn’t mean it that way. I just—” Lucky growled under his breath as he tossed his empty bottle into the trash. “It’s not my job to pick him up and change my whole life around. If I weren’t here, you’d have to pay the extra money, so just do it. I need my job, too, Elizabeth. And I’m getting tired of being expected to sacrifice my time so you can save a little money.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. She didn’t understand how he could stand there as Cameron’s stepfather—the only father Cameron had ever known—and pretend that refusing to pick him up from daycare wasn’t part of a bigger problem.

“So, it was just a lie then,” she said softly.

Lucky hesitated, then frowned. “What?”

“When you asked me to marry you, you promised that Cameron would be ours. That we’d be a family. But he’s still my problem to you.” Elizabeth folded her arms, looked at him. “You said you’d love him like your own.”

“I—I do.” Lucky shook his head. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m just—God, Elizabeth, I’m just so frustrated.” He collapsed onto the sofa, dragging both of his hands through his hair. “If I don’t get back to work soon, off the desk, the department isn’t legally obligated to hold my job open with my old squad. I could be permanently replaced. Stuck on the desk forever. I need to prove myself to Mac. I need all the therapy sessions I can get. And it’s not like…I mean, your grandmother promised us she’d pitch in. She’s the one screwing us over, not me. I’m just—I’m not handling it well, okay?”

“Okay.” Elizabeth sighed, looked away. She didn’t want to argue about this anymore. Not when she was afraid of where the conversation would go. “Let me make a few calls. I’ll talk to Epiphany. Maybe she can—do something.”

“Yeah.” Lucky brightened. He got to his feet and took her hands in his. “Epiphany loves you. You know that. It’s hard right now, and I’m terrible to be around. I know that.” He brushed his lips over her forehead. “But as soon as I get back to work, it’s all going to be okay. I promise. I’ll make it up to you.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” she murmured, squeezing her eyes closed and praying for a miracle. Because if Lucky was off active duty much longer, she might go insane.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

 Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Jason scrubbed his hands over his face as Sam sullenly sunk into the corner of the sofa, reading the Port Charles Sun. For nearly a week, they’d managed to avoid speaking to one another. Not since she’d stormed out the night he’d told her about the maternity test.

They hadn’t talked about the test or anything else.

Jason opened his mouth to try to say something — to apologize again or maybe to defend himself. Even if he’d knew now he was wrong, he still felt a bit…irritated that she refused to even try to understand that he’d just been trying to help.

But before he could decide exactly what he would do, Sam’s cell phone rang. She leaned over and dug it out of the pocket of her sweat pants. “Yeah? Hey, Paulie.”

He pressed his lips together, turned back to his paperwork, trying to hide his scowl. He listened as she talked with the man who had asked her to go back to being a con artist again.

“Yeah? Okay. Yeah. No, I get it. And you’re right, it’s not like I need a lot to do this. Not exactly rocket science.” Sam laughed, the happiest sound she’d made since her brother had died.

He sighed, sat back in his chair. Maybe this didn’t need to be a big deal. Maybe she’d just do this one thing, and it would make her feel like herself again.

But there was something about the whole thing that made him…uncomfortable. Like an itch between his shoulders he couldn’t quite scratch. And she’d told him she would do the job in exchange for information about her past.

But they had the information now. Sam knew who Natasha Davis really was. She could just ask Alexis what happened. Why she’d been put up for adoption, how she’d ended up with Cody McCall, where her father was—who he was—

Sam didn’t need to do this job. Which meant she wanted to.

And if she wanted to do it once, maybe she’d want it again.

“Okay. Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you then, Paulie.”

He heard Sam get to her feet and walk towards him, her feet quiet on the hardwood floor. “That was my dad’s friend, Paulie.”

Jason looked at her carefully blank face and sighed. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“He wanted to let me know the date of the job.” She held up her phone, then lifted her chin. “And I’m gonna go. It’s in two weeks.”

“Okay,” Jason said. He got to his feet and walked away from the desk towards the closet.

“Is that all you’re going to say?” Sam demanded when he said nothing else. She scowled. “You don’t have an opinion?”

“What do you want me to say?” He turned back to look at her. Shrugged with a casualness, he didn’t feel. “You’re an adult, Sam. I don’t tell you what to do.”

“But you’re not happy about it, are you?”

He sighed, rolled his head back to look at the ceiling, before meeting her eyes again. “No. You don’t need to do this job. This guy—he doesn’t have any answers you can’t get by just calling Alexis—”

“Shut up—” Sam stabbed a finger at him. “You don’t get to talk about her. Not after what you did.”

“Fine.” Jason crossed to the closet and yanked his jacket out of it. “Then we don’t have anything to say.”

“Where are you going?” Sam darted forward, sliding in front of the door and blocking him just as he reached for the doorknob. “You’re just leaving?”

“What am I supposed to say? You don’t want to talk about Alexis, and you already know what I think about you pulling a job—”

“No. You’re dancing around it, but, no, I don’t know what you think.” She crossed her arms and glared at him. “Come on. Tell me.”

“You want me to tell you not to do it so you can fight with me and have a new reason to be pissed with me.” He shook his head. “I’m not going to be the bad guy. You’re an adult, Sam,” Jason repeated. “Do what you want.”

“I just—” Sam fisted her hands at her sides. “I don’t get why this bothers you so much. You’re in the mob, Jason. You smuggle all kinds of crap back and forth over the border. You break the law every day, so can’t I do the same?”

“It’s different,” Jason said finally. “But if you need to do this to make yourself feel better, then you do what you have to do. It’s not up to me.”

Sam scowled and moved away from the door, so he could open it. He turned back to face her. “I’m sorry about Alexis. I’m sorry about the way I handled it. I was trying to protect you, but I was wrong. But don’t pretend you’re gonna take this job for answers. You want to do it. Don’t lie to me or yourself.”

He hesitated, but she said nothing, her dark eyes glinting with irritation.

So he finally told her the truth. “No, I don’t want you to do this. Because this won’t be the only time. You’re good at it, remember? You told me so yourself.”

“So?”

“So, remember the cons you were best at, Sam, and then tell me why I don’t want you to go back to it.”

He closed the door behind him.

Kelly’s: Parking Lot

Elizabeth scowled as she approached her car and saw the back tire had finally given up on her. The little warning signal had been flickering on her dashboard for weeks, warning her that her tire pressure was low, but she kept putting getting it fixed and now—

Now she was stuck at Kelly’s, the quick lunch she’d wanted to grab growing cold in the brown paper bag in her hands. She looked back at her tire, down at her lunch, then trudged back to the courtyard where she dumped the bag on the table and started to unpack it.

She wasn’t wasting Ruby’s chili by sitting in the parking lot waiting for someone to come help, though she didn’t know who she’d call. Lucky was at physical therapy, her grandmother was with Cameron at her house, and…

Well, her options were limited. Nearly everyone she knew was working at General Hospital today—the same place she was due back within the hour. She grimaced. So much for enjoying her lunch hour for a change.

She heard the motorcycle before she saw its owner. Jason ducked through the gate that separated Kelly’s from the parking lot and paused, seeing her with her lunch spread out on the table. “Oh. Hey.”

“Hey.” She brightened. “I don’t suppose you have, like, any air pumps or something hiding on your bike, do you?”

“Uh, no—” Jason squinted, then pulled out the chair and sat across from her. “Why?”

“I procrastinated on routine car maintenance, and I have a flat. I’m just making a mental list while I eat my lunch before it gets cold.” She rolled her eyes. “You know, I’m more organized than I used to be, but like all of my energy is making sure Cameron is okay. Or my patients. I just don’t have the space to worry about my car.”

Jason smirked as he pulled out his phone and pressed a number, obviously calling someone on speed dial. “Hey, Max, you at the warehouse? Can you find someone with an air pump to fix a flat at Kelly’s? No, for a car—Yeah, okay, I’ll see you when you get here.”

“Thanks.” Elizabeth shook her head. “Normally, I’d argue with you about how I can do things for myself, but you know, I’m just—” She blew out an exasperated breath. “I’m too tired, to be honest, and I still have to get back to work.”

“Well, I’m glad I stopped for coffee.” He shifted in his seat. “You okay? I mean, is there a reason you’re tired, or is it just…” Jason raised his brows, waiting.

“Well, I’m getting used to my new job. I haven’t been able to scrub in on a surgery yet, but I’m learning about the paperwork and post-op. I mean, I knew all of it before, but now I get to do pre-op stuff, too. And it’s fun working with Patrick and Robin more. And Epiphany.” She sipped her soda. “But it’s a lot of stuff I need to get a handle on before Patrick will let me scrub in. And Cameron—” She grinned. “He’s into everything. He’s hitting that age — he’ll be two this year and he’s—I mean, he’s been walking for a year, but I think he’s figured out how to run.”

Elizabeth finally stopped, then laughed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to just go on and on like that. It’s just—”

No one who actually knew her had asked if she was okay in a long time.

“What about you?” Elizabeth bit her lip. “It’s none of my business, I know, but I guess I’ve been worried since you left the hospital last week.”

“Uh, yeah.” Jason scratched the corner of his eyebrow. “Well, you were right. Sam was angry.”

Elizabeth waited, but he didn’t say anything else. Fair enough. They weren’t friends like that anymore. She might tell him about her job or talk about Cameron, but she wasn’t going to tell him about her fight with Lucky or search for cheaper daycare, so why would he open up about his own relationship issues?

Asking him for help with a flat tire wasn’t the same thing as opening her heart up to him and pouring out all her troubles. That wasn’t who she was anymore.

“Well, I hope she’s okay,” Elizabeth said, finally. She paused. “There is something, I guess—I don’t know, I’m probably overreacting, and Lucky said I was seeing things, but it’s about Manny.”

Jason raised his brows. “Yeah? Did he say something to you? None of my guys said anything.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth sat back. “Then I guess I’m wrong. I mean, if they’re watching him and he hasn’t done anything, then…” She shrugged, picked up her soda.

Jason frowned, tilting his head to the side. “He hasn’t done anything, no,” he said, “but Beto told me Manny seemed to be…all over the hospital. Like he was trying to learn the layout. He thinks he might be looking for places to hide. Whether he wants to smuggle something in or out, or just have a place for himself, he doesn’t know. I don’t know what that means, but it made Beto uncomfortable.”

When she didn’t say anything, he lifted his brows. “Elizabeth, you work at the hospital every day. You know that place better than my guys do. What did you see?”

“It’s probably nothing, but Skye was at the hospital yesterday and—I don’t know, it just felt like Manny was watching her. I mean, I don’t know why he would—”

“Actually…” Jason hesitated, leaned back in the chair, looking a bit disturbed. “No, that makes sense. She’s pregnant, right? And seeing Lorenzo Alcazar.” He grimaced. “Manny…blames Alcazar…for his brother and father’s deaths last fall.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth blinked. “I hadn’t—I forgot about that. Should I warn her? Or—I don’t even think she had anyone with her. Why would Alcazar let her go to the hospital alone?”

“I don’t know, but if he is watching her, then that’s probably his motive. Manny Ruiz is…he’s—” Jason paused. “I mean, you know his reputation. But he earned it. He’s…known for his violence against women.” He looked away. “At least three women he’s been involved with have…disappeared.”

“Oh,” she repeated softly. “Well….that’s…” Terrifying.

Jason leaned forward, his eyes on her. “I have two guys at the hospital,” he reminded her. “Beto is on Manny at all times. And Vic used to work on the pediatrics floor with you and Emily. I put him there to watch you both. I’m trying to get Alan to let me put someone on the surgery floor with you—”

“Thank you,” she said. She reached across the table to touch his hand briefly. “For looking out for us. I’m not worried about me. I’m worried about Skye. She’s pregnant—and—” Elizabeth grimaced. She couldn’t really explain it. “And I just—I had to tell someone.”

“I’ll let Beto and Vic know to keep their eyes out for that. Remember, don’t get involved.” He grimaced. “I was gonna tell you to let me know if you see something else, but you’re…I mean, you’re married to a cop—”

“I tried to tell Lucky about Manny and Skye. He told me there’s nothing he can do. So…” Elizabeth lifted a shoulder. “You know, I believe in the system. Most of the time. But the system isn’t built for someone who twists everything like Manny Ruiz. So if I see something else, you’ll be the first person I call.”

“But stay out of it,” he reminded her as he saw Max approach them. “C’mon, let’s go fix your car.”

May 8, 2020

This entry is part 3 of 33 in the For the Broken Girl: Reflections of You

In every loss in every lie
In every truth that you deny
And each regret and each goodbye
Was a mistake too great to hide
And your voice was all I heard
That I get what I deserve
New Divide, Linkin Park


Tuesday, March 14, 2006

 General Hospital: Break Room

Elizabeth grimaced as she stirred some sugar into her cup of coffee, then sipped it. Wincing at the awful taste, she turned to her best friend with a shake of her head. “You’re the daughter of the chief of staff. Make them buy a better coffee pot.”

“I asked Dad,” Emily Bowen-Quartermaine said with a sigh, “but he says terrible coffee builds character. Apparently, since he suffered as a resident, we all have to.”

“I remember when we were younger, splitting our packets of hot chocolate, swearing we’d never be like our parents and addicted to coffee.” Elizabeth took a seat at the table, then stifled a yawn. This was her last break until the end of her shift, which wasn’t for another two hours.

“Yeah, we were young and dumb. Coffee is how I get through the day and night.” Emily pursed her lip as she sat down. “You gonna tell me why my brother was at the hospital?”

“What?” Elizabeth frowned at her. “How did—”

“Gossip travels fast, and you know, there are plenty of people around here that love to gossip about my brother.” Emily leaned forward. “And some of them were working here seven years ago. You know…when Jason and Nikolas got into a fistfight—”

“Oh, God…” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “So what?”

“So, a few of those nurses saw the two of you looking pretty tight, disappearing into a conference room for nearly a half-hour before walking him to the elevator, all smiles.” Emily lifted her brows. “Is there something I should know?”

Elizabeth wrinkled her nose at the strange comment. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know. You guys worked together during the quarantine—”

“Two telephone conversations, through your phone, and then I helped him and Carly with the vaccine.” She rolled her eyes. “Emily—what’s going on with you? Last week, you ditched three shifts, you’re still avoiding my phone calls—” She raised her brows. “And now, what, you think I’m having an affair with your brother?”

“You say my brother like you didn’t use to have the hots for him. I’m just—like I said, people have a long memory. And you know, that Christmas party was infamous.” Emily leaned forward. “And you’re not saying no.”

“Well, this is me saying no. For one thing, I’m married, and for another, he’s engaged. And also, you know better than to listen to gossip.” Elizabeth shifted uncomfortably. “Why would people—this is so stupid. He just came to ask me something. I did him a quick favor, and that’s it. And it wasn’t a half-hour—ugh, this is how all that crap got started when Lucky came home. Everyone rushing to tell him I’m some kind of tramp—”

“Well, that’s not the way I remember it,” Emily offered. “And you weren’t a tramp back then. Lucky was supposed to be dead. He’d been gone for, God…” She sighed. “More than six months. I never blamed you for moving on, Liz. Just for not telling me.”

Elizabeth frowned. There was a lot about her friend’s statement that rubbed her the wrong way. “There was nothing to tell.”

“Sure.”

“There wasn’t—and there still isn’t. It wasn’t a half-hour,” Elizabeth repeated. “And I noticed that you’re ignoring how weird you’ve been lately.” Inspired, she continued, “That’s why we were talking. We were talking about you.”

“Me?” Emily pressed her hand to her chest, then shook her head. “Why? Why?” Her voice changed, a thin line of tension laying underneath it. “What about me?”

“You’ve been dodging his calls. He’s been trying to check in with you since the quarantine lifted, and you haven’t been interested.” Elizabeth hesitated. “And you ditched meeting with him about Manny. So I guess we were comparing notes.”

“And what conclusion did you come to?” Emily asked testily.

“None. I told him the quarantine took a lot out of both of us. All of us. I mean, we were in here trying to save lives. He was out there trying to find a vaccine. It was a lot, and we’re—” She waved her hand in the air. “We’re all trying to adjust. He gets it, Em. He was just worried about you, is all. You’re the one thing we’ve always had in common.”

“Fine. Just…” Emily shrugged. “Is that the favor he wanted?”

“The favor was separate.” Elizabeth sighed. “Do me a favor — if you hear nurses gossiping again, can you just…stop it? I’m married to a cop. The last thing I need is for Lucky to be here and overhear this crap. He already hates Jason and Sonny. Jason and I aren’t as close as we used to be, but we’re friendly, and I don’t want to have that argument with Lucky.”

“I guess, but wasn’t Lucky here?”

“He was—”

Elizabeth looked up as Patrick and Robin stepped into the break room, deep into another playful fight about how they’d spend their day next off together. “Hey—I was hoping to run into you,” she said to Patrick.

“Yeah? You enjoying your last shift down here in the dregs?” Patrick wiggled his brows. “You’re all mine tomorrow.”

Robin whacked him in the chest. “Turn it off, doofus. She’s married.”

“That’s why he flirts with me,” Elizabeth teased. “I’m safe.”

Patrick rolled his eyes. “Don’t ruin my reputation, Spencer.”

Robin snorted as she poured herself a cup of coffee. “Can’t get any worse.”

“Anyway,” Elizabeth interrupted before the two of them could continue snarking at each other. “I wasn’t able to catch Lucky before he left. How did his appointment go?”

Patrick hesitated. “I’m not sure if I should—”

“Oh, come on, she’s his wife and emergency medical contact,” Emily reminded the doctor. “What’s the big deal?”

“Nothing. I guess—I mean, he’ll probably want to be the one to tell you—and now I’ve worried you.” Patrick grimaced. “Fine. I told him that the return to work date Tony gave him before he got sick isn’t going to work anymore. He needs to get back into a full physical therapy routine, push out a return date for at least a month. We’ll need to consider surgery if he doesn’t show any improvement in physical therapy or if the MRI results haven’t improved.”

Elizabeth sighed, slumping in her chair. Surgery. Which might put him out of commission for another four or five months. “I was worried that might be the case. I knew he was in denial, but…God. That’s a lot.”

“Yeah, well, he’s not my biggest fan right now, but I have to do what’s best for him long-term. Putting him back on duty before he’s ready—it’s not doing him or his partner any favors, right?” Patrick sighed. “Sorry, Liz.”

“No, I appreciate you doing your best by him. We’ll…” She forced a smile on her face. “We’ll get through this. We’ve already gotten through the last few months. What’s another few more?”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

 Sam was ready to launch back into the argument as soon as Jason came home that night. She’d heard the key in the lock and got to her feet, bracing herself. No man was going to tell her what to do, especially someone who was every inch the criminal she was.

But when Jason walked in, some of Sam’s ire faded. He looked…worried. His brow was furrowed, and his jaw was clenched.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Did something happen…” She folded her arms. “Something with Manny? Is that what the call was about?”

“No.” Jason shook his head. “No, there’s nothing new with Manny. I’m sorry. I—” He took a deep breath. “Look, I should have said something last week when Stan gave us the report from the adoption records, but I guess…I just wanted to make sure. Or maybe I really just wanted to be wrong…” He drew out a piece of paper that was folded into three parts.

“Wrong about what? We didn’t get anything useful from the adoption records. Not even after Stan hacked them.” She folded her arms. “All we learned was that the woman never existed–

“I—thought I recognized the name. Natasha Davis.” He met her eyes. “Alexis was born Natasha Cassadine. She changed her name after Helena killed her mother. To protect herself.”

Everything simply stopped. She heard the words, saw his mouth forming the sounds, but she had to…

No. There was no way…

Of all the women in the world…

It couldn’t be…

“What—” Her mouth felt dry as Sam forced the words. “What are you saying?”

“I didn’t—I didn’t want to—if it wasn’t true—so I did a DNA test.” He extended the paper, but Sam didn’t look at it. Didn’t reach for it.

“You thought you knew who my mother was, and you looked into it without me.” Her ears were buzzing, and Sam couldn’t quite form a coherent thought. Couldn’t even begin to process the horror of what he was actually saying.

No, better to focus on the crime. Not the results. “You ran a DNA test without me? What, did you send my spit away to one of those stupid labs—”

“I didn’t want to wait that long, so I asked a friend at the hospital to run it. No names.” He hesitated. “Sam—”

“And you’re telling me which means—”

Her knees buckled as Sam sank back onto the sofa. “Oh, God. You’re telling me,” she repeated. “Which means the results—no. No, this isn’t possible, okay? It’s just not. There’s no way in hell that Alexis Davis is my mother—” Her stomach lurched even as she said the words. The woman who had browbeaten her until she nearly died—until her daughter had died. The woman who’d lived instead of Danny.

The woman who had set Manny Ruiz free.

No way in hell could Alexis be Sam’s mother. It wasn’t—it wasn’t possible. It wasn’t fair—

She shot up and snatched the paper from Jason, ripping it open. She scanned the gibberish until she found what she was looking for — a 99.99993 percent chance that Patient A and Patient B were related through the maternal DNA.

“Who ran this?” Sam demanded. “How do you know you can trust them?”

“Elizabeth Webber. You know her—”

“Yeah, yeah.” Sam dredged up the brunette who’d looked after her and Danny in the hospital. “She was—” A bubble of hysteria rose in her throat. “She was really good to him in the hospital. Danny liked her. Said she sang him a lullaby.”

Danny. He really wasn’t her brother. She’d known that, but somehow—God, somehow, seeing this test made it so crystal clear. The one person in all the world that had ever loved her… didn’t belong to her anymore. Wasn’t hers.

She wasn’t anyone’s. She hadn’t even realized until this moment she’d thought maybe her biological family could be somewhere she could belong.

But she could never be part of Alexis Davis’s family.

“And she doesn’t know anything about the test?”

Jason grimaced. “She didn’t at first, but…Sam, when I got those results, I thought—I thought maybe I shouldn’t tell you.”

“You—” Sam took a step back. “You did this without telling me, and then you were going to…what…hide it from me? What the hell—”

“Elizabeth talked me out of it. So, yeah. She knows. She won’t say anything. Not even to Emily. I trust her.”

“You trust her—” Sam crumpled the white paper in a ball, curled it into her fist. “Oh, well, that’s fine. Trust her with something you had no right to even do—”

“I know, and I’m sorry—”

“Well, it’s too fucking late for that, isn’t it?” she spat. Her skin was tingling, almost like she’d shoved a fork into a socket and gotten a jolt. Alexis Davis. Alexis fucking Davis was her mother. She’d been searching for answers, and Jason had handed them to her on a silver platter—

And had only told her at all because some nurse had convinced him.

Had she woken up in a nightmare? Her baby brother wasn’t hers. She wasn’t even really her mother’s daughter, and her father had probably adopted her to run a con.

And now she learned she’d been thrown away by Alexis Davis, the woman who’d stolen everything from her.

What a fucking joke her entire life had turned out to be.

“Sam—”

“I can’t do this right now. I can’t—I can’t even think—I can’t make this right in my head and the only reason I even—if you’d just told me what you thought, Jason, I could have—I could have had time to deal with it before we knew for sure—and maybe I wouldn’t have even wanted to know. But you forced it on me. This wasn’t your fight. This was mine, and you stole it from me.” Her eyes burned as she stared at the man she’d thought she’d known so well. “You took this from me. And you can’t ever make that okay.”

“Sam—”

“Sure, you were trying to protect me. But that’s not your job. I never asked you to do that.” She stalked past him and yanked her coat out of the closet. “I’m going to take a walk. And you’re going to sleep on the damn couch tonight.”

Cosmopolitan Hotel: Hallway

Emily stepped off the elevator, pressing a fist to her mouth as she stifled a yawn. She had hoped to go home tonight, but when the call had come—

Well, she couldn’t resist.

She knocked on the door lightly. “It’s me,” she said. The door opened, and she smiled at the man standing on the other side.

“Hey,” Sonny Corinthos said, as he pulled her inside and kissed her. “I didn’t know if you’d get my message.”

“I caught it after my shift.” She smoothed her hands down his chest, smiling at him. “I had to dodge a lot of questions today,” she teased as he led her to a table where glasses of champagne were waiting. “Elizabeth and Jason are starting to compare notes.”

Sonny frowned as he handed her a glass. “Since when do they talk?”

“I know!” Emily rolled her eyes. “I ditched a meeting with Jason about Manny Ruiz last week—I didn’t think it was a big deal, and you’d already told me that you were having him watched. But Elizabeth talked to him instead.” She bit her lip, stared down into her glass, then looked up to meet his eyes. “Should we tell them?”

“I thought we’d decided to wait,” Sonny said. “Until we knew if…if there was something worth talking about.” He leaned in, brushed his lips against hers. “You know what people are going to say.”

“I do. But Jason won’t. He knows I can make my own choices—”

Jason will probably react the worst,” Sonny told her with a sigh. He shook his head. “You’re his little sister. And…it’s not like he doesn’t know the risks.” He winced. “And you hadn’t moved home yet, but I didn’t handle it well when he starting dating my sister.”

Emily pressed her lips together. “Maybe. But he’ll come around, and I can count on Elizabeth. Yeah, my family will hit the roof, and Carly will be a nightmare, but Jason and Elizabeth will come through for me. They always do.” She hesitated. “Then again…”

He raised a brow as he took her glass from her. “Then again?” he prompted.

“Maybe we should wait a little longer,” Emily suggested. “It’s…you’re right. This is still so new. And maybe we’ll hate each other in a few weeks.” She smiled. “Let’s just keep this between us.”

“Excellent idea.” He leaned in for another kiss, and the conversation slipped away.

Lucky & Elizabeth’s Apartment: Kitchen

Elizabeth grimaced as she lifted Cameron from his booster seat after thoroughly wiping his dinner from his cheeks and neck. His shirt was covered in the remains of his spaghetti sauce despite the napkin tucked into his collar. Her little boy was special like that.

“Mommy, Biderman.” Cameron grinned at her. “I go play?”

“Yeah, go ahead and play in your room.”

She looked up through the open arch of the kitchen to the living room as her husband slammed the door behind him. Lucky ripped his coat off, then scowled as he clearly aggravated his back. He didn’t even seem to notice as Cameron toddled past him into the bedroom. “How was physical therapy—”

“How do you think it was?” he snapped as he tossed the coat over the arm of the sofa. Lucky winced, shook his head. “Sorry. It was a crappy day, and it got worse after therapy. I still can’t do all of the exercises, and until I can, they won’t even consider putting me back on active duty.”

“I’m so sorry,” she murmured. He’d been so close to going back to work before the car accident, and now… “Patrick said he didn’t give you a return date.”

“Oh, nice of him to tell you about my case like it’s any of his fucking business—” Lucky scowled. “He won’t even refill my pain prescription, so I’m supposed to suffer, I guess.” He glared at her. “And then I leave my appointment and find you smiling at a damn criminal. What the hell were you doing with Jason Morgan?”

Elizabeth frowned, her shoulders tensing. She hadn’t expected that turn in the conversation and didn’t quite understand the accusation in Lucky’s voice. Jason and Lucky had known each other for years, and while they hadn’t been friends since Lucky’s brainwashing, they’d managed to co-exist just fine. In fact, Elizabeth knew that Lucky had gone to Jason for information about Manny after her kidnapping back in October.

Remembering Emily’s strange questions about her friendship with Jason, Elizabeth didn’t know why everyone was acting like she’d been caught kissing Jason.

They’d walked to a frickin’ elevator!

Elizabeth took a deep breath and decided to treat the question like it hadn’t been launched at her like an accusation of something way more nefarious. “I didn’t see you—why didn’t you come over and say something? Jason had a question about something. I gave him some test results and walked him to the elevator. We were talking about Emily.”

“I don’t give a damn how Emily feels about him or if you used to be friends. You’re my wife, and I’m a cop. I can’t have you being friends with criminals—”

“I won’t waste my breath and talk about innocent until proven guilty because I know that’s not your point. I’m sorry, Lucky. But we’re both worried about Emily. She’s been acting strangely since the quarantine. And there’s Manny—”

“If you’re so concerned about Manny, why don’t you talk to the people who are supposed to take care of this crap? You know, the police?” Lucky charged.

“Maybe because the PCPD didn’t seem to be able to do anything the last time Manny was on a rampage,” Elizabeth shot back. Lucky’s eyes glinted with fury. “The system let him out, Lucky. Why the hell would I trust them to fix it now?”

“Oh, you trust a mobster more than your own husband?” Lucky demanded. “Doesn’t the law mean anything to you?”

“When it works. It couldn’t put Manny away. And it sure as hell didn’t get me justice with Tom Baker, did it? And Ric is still out there, practicing law no matter what he did. You can’t always trust the system. And when it comes to protecting myself and the hospital, I’m glad there’s someone that can take care of psychos like Manny.”

“I can’t fucking believe this—”

“You lived outside the law your entire life, Lucky. It wasn’t so long ago we were covering up the death of a police officer ourselves. And you haven’t always followed the rules, either.”

“Sure, throw that in my face again—it wasn’t my fault what happened to Emily—”

“I never said it was—” Elizabeth took a deep breath. “Look, it’s not like Jason and I are close. He came to the hospital with a medical question, and we talked about Emily. We saw Manny while he was there. Stop making this more than it has to be.”

She sighed when he just glared at her and said nothing. “I need to give Cameron a bath before getting him settled for bed. I’ll be back out later.”

When she’d closed the door, Lucky scowled and reached inside his pocket. He took out his bottle of pills and looked at it. He’d started the day with twenty, but now…

He tossed back two more, grimacing. He’d taken two more after his therapy session, but he really needed to be careful with what was left. If Patrick refused to write him a script, Lucky wasn’t sure what to do.

But his back was still screaming ten minutes later, so Lucky took two more pills. He’d start being careful tomorrow.

He looked around the apartment, the cramped one-bedroom that they’d been living in for the last eight months. This was hardly the life he’d wanted, the one he’d planned for himself or Elizabeth.

He hated these rooms. Hated the tiny kitchen, the lumpy sofa bed he and Elizabeth shared while Cameron slept in the bedroom all by himself. He’d never understood why the hell the kid couldn’t have slept out here, but she’d insisted, and he’d given in. He always gave in with her.

No matter what Elizabeth wanted, he gave it to her. Just like now — she was refusing to give up Jason Morgan. Like she always did.

Absently, Lucky slid another pill between his lips, not realizing it was the fifth he’d taken in the last hour. He didn’t even know it until he looked down and saw that the pills he’d started the day with had been cut by half.

He grimaced, got to his feet. “I’m going out,” he called to Elizabeth.

“Where?” she called back, but he didn’t answer. He dragged back on his coat and slammed the door behind him.

Jake’s: Bar

Sam raised her hand to signal the bartender, Coleman, that she wanted another shot. She just wanted everything to go away.

Alexis Davis was her mother.

And Danny was not her brother.

She couldn’t quite make any of that come outright. How could any of it be true? How could this be her reality? It simply…it didn’t compute. It didn’t add up.

Until she’d learned about her pregnancy, Danny had felt like the only good thing in her life. The only pure thing that kept her tethered to humanity. She knew that she wasn’t a good person. Sam would never lie to herself and think she was decent or kind. She’d stolen, she’d manipulated, she’d done terrible things for money.

And yeah, sometimes it had been to take care of Danny, but it had also been fun. Sam was a damn good con artist, and part of her was itching to get back into the game. To get back to a life she understood.

Because this life? This life didn’t make any fucking sense. Not since the day she’d targeted Jasper Jacks and that stupid hand of cards nearly three years ago. She’d not managed to close the deal with Jax, but Sonny—he’d been a terrific mark. Lonely. Rich. And the bonus of her looking just like his one true love, Brenda—

Sam thought if she’d just been able to get rid of Carly, maybe things could have been different. She could have really kept Sonny on the hook for decades.

She tossed back the tequila, feeling the alcohol burn her throat, then slammed the shot glass down. “Another!”

She didn’t let herself think about that much anymore—those few months when she’d tried to calculate her way into Sonny’s life and bank account. Sometimes Sam even

tried to convince herself she’d really been in love with Sonny, but what was the point?

She knew the truth.

Sam had seen a rich guy who looked like he might not suck in bed. Port Charles was lousy with gorgeous millionaires, and Sam had wanted a piece of it. Until her daughter. Until her baby grew in her, and Sam knew she’d needed more. Wanted more.

She’d never let a pregnancy get past the first six or seven weeks before. Had always had an abortion before the baby became real to her. Once it had…it had changed everything. Sam sighed, stared at her reflection in the grimy mirror that was built into the back of Jake’s bar.

She hadn’t liked playing that game. It had been the first con Cody had taught her — the best one for a girl like Sam to play, he’d told her. She looked like trash, and no one wanted to have a permanent connection to trash.

Of course, the first time hadn’t been a game. Sam drank another tequila and sighed, thinking of the first. Of the first boy she’d been with who’d thrown her away.

She hadn’t known then it was her own history she had repeated. Maybe that was Alexis’s story. Some good looking boy who’d promised the world when she’d been sixteen to get her into the backseat of his Chevy, only to smirk when the bill came due. Had that happened to Alexis? Had she known the shame and humiliation of looking at a boy she’d thought loved her, only to have him laugh in her face

He’d offered to pay for the abortion, and Sam had gone to her father, sure that somehow her father, who always had a game to play, would know what to do. But Cody had just told her that was a woman’s lot in life. Men had all the fun while women paid the price. Better to learn it now and make men pay. At least he’d offered to foot the bill.

Those were the games Sam was best at — making men want her enough to pay for it. She could tempt a man to leave his wife, to sell his soul, to give her anything she wanted just for a taste. She’d gotten pregnant again at eighteen. Then again at nineteen.

The fourth time, when she was twenty, after her fourth abortion, Sam decided to stop playing that game. She’d upgraded to rich men who wanted a pretty trophy wife. No more babies.

She wondered now why she’d stopped playing the game. She could have just started faking pregnancies. But she’d stopped using kids at all until she’d ended up pregnant with Sonny’s daughter. Had part of her known she’d been thrown away? Had she somehow suspected it?

“I guess you’re slummin’ it,” Lucky Spencer said he slid onto a stool, swaying slightly as he put up his hand to place an order for a beer. “What? Jason’s mini-bar isn’t fully stocked?’

Sam rolled her eyes and brought the shot glass to her lips. “Doesn’t your dad own a bar club?”

“Don’t want to see anyone,” Lucky muttered as Coleman placed the Rolling Rock in front of him.

“Well, same here.” Sam scowled at him. “So, leave me the hell alone.”

“Yeah, I will if you keep your fiancé away from my wife,” Lucky shot back. He dumped some money on the bar, then picked up his drink to stumble away towards the pool table. Sam stared after him, blinking.

What the hell was that about?

May 6, 2020

This entry is part 2 of 33 in the For the Broken Girl: Reflections of You

Which mask will you wear today
How about the one with the pretty smile
To you it’s just another day
In a life you haven’t lived in quite awhile
Everybody knows your name
But they don’t know who you are
But to them it’s just a game
And I think it’s gone too far
Just Another Name, Lifehouse


Tuesday, March 14, 2006

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

 Two weeks later, Elizabeth found herself again looking at the black crepe memorial to Regina Johnson that was still up. Every time she walked past it, she couldn’t help but think about those long, terrifying weeks they’d been locked in General Hospital. They’d been unable to leave, unable to see their own families, risking their lives to save others.

Elizabeth’s life hadn’t been the same since the virus had hit. Her husband had survived, but he might never be the same. A fact that haunted her every day she woke up and saw he was still in pain, still not able to walk and move freely.

“Hey.”

Elizabeth blinked as Nadine joined her in the nurse’s station, a stack of medical charts in her arms. She raised her brows at Elizabeth. “You okay? You looked a bit distracted.”

“Yeah.” She took a deep breath. “I’m fine. Do you need help with those charts?”

“Oh, what, you want to help me before you abandon us for the glamorous world of surgery?” Nadine rolled her eyes. “I mean, I don’t know why you think it’s cool to leave us like this—”

“I’ll miss the patients,” Elizabeth admitted. She liked working with kids, feeling connected to them, and taking care of them until they were released. Working as a surgical nurse meant she’d lose some of that connection, but… “I can’t turn down the hours. I’ll be able to tuck Cameron in nearly every night—”

“I know, I know. But it doesn’t mean I can’t complain—” Nadine’s voice dropped out as they heard the creak of the janitor’s cart.

Manny smiled at them as he wheeled his cart past them down another hall. When he’d disappeared, Nadine exhaled slowly, pressing a hand to her chest.

“How is he still a thing, I ask you?” she grumbled.

“I know,” Elizabeth murmured. “He’s hurt so many people.” She’d hoped that Manny would be gone by now. Jason’s men were working at GH now, and she saw the one that hung out on the Pediatrics floor every so often. She felt mildly safer, but it didn’t change the fact that it felt like they had a ticking bomb stalking their halls.

The last two weeks hadn’t reassured her that the surgery had cured Manny of his violent tendencies, only that they were all living on borrowed time.

Waiting for Manny to make his move.

“You know, you’d think living in a town full of mobsters, they’d be able to take care of one crazy ass psycho,” Nadine complained, then she winced, looking at Elizabeth. “Oh. Yeah. Right. Shouldn’t say that to a cop’s wife.”

“Hey, this cop’s wife watched a violent psycho get turned loose by the system because a tumor made him do it.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “The system doesn’t solve all our problems.”

She accepted a stack of envelopes from a courier with a sigh, then sorted the test results and memos. She stopped when she saw Patrick’s name on one of the envelopes with a patient number she recognized. Elizabeth ran her fingers over it, remembering the favor Jason had asked of her.

“Hey, Nadine, do you mind covering for me? I have to go make a call.”

“Sure. You okay?”

“Yeah, just have to call a patient about some test results.” She pocketed the envelope and headed for the locker room.

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

“Paulie, I’ll have…I’m not saying no, okay? I just have to think about it.”

Sam McCall sighed and set the phone back onto the receiver before checking off a name on the list she’d scrawled using a legal pad she’d found stashed in his desk. It had been a while since she’d stretched her research muscles. She’d forgotten how much fun it was to put together a profile on a mark — even if she was treating herself like the mark.

Jason hadn’t been happy when Sam made it clear she wasn’t going to leave her past alone. Or maybe he hadn’t been all that happy that she was planning to contact a lot of her father’s buddies from past jobs. Sam knew Jason accepted her past as a con artist, but she definitely knew he wouldn’t be happy if that past became the present.

The man in question emerged from the kitchen where he’d been doing dishes. She wrinkled her nose — she would never understand the domestic side of him. When you had as much money as Jason Morgan, you should never have to lift a finger.

“Any luck?” Jason asked as he leaned against the arm of the sofa, his head tilted to the side.

“No one knows why Cody McCall decided to adopt a baby girl all by himself twenty-six years ago,” Sam offered with a sigh. “But the general consensus is that he needed a cover for something he was pulling and kids…are good. Dad liked to target single women, and they’re suckers for a guy with a baby.”

Jason frowned at that. “Target them how?”

“Clean out bank accounts, use them for a place to stay.” Sam got to her feet, shrugging. “Could be anything. Sometimes, if the mark was good, he’d stay a year. Go to work at the company she owned — he loved powerful women.” She didn’t realize she was grinning as she spoke—

But Jason did. He grimaced, then shook his head, and listened as Sam continued to describe her childhood with Cody McCall and the games he’d run.

“You know, the women of the eighties loved to prove they didn’t need a man or a kid—they never saw Dad coming. He was pretty good at it for a long time, and Mom didn’t care as long as the checks kept coming.” Sam shrugged. “She wasn’t much of a mother, you already know that. But those were the good years. Dad was pretty disappointed when Danny…”

The smile faded from her face. “Danny couldn’t go out on the road,” she said finally. “So he took me instead.”

She looked over to find him studying her, squinting the way someone might look at an insect. “Don’t make that face. I had a good childhood, okay? My father…he mostly loved me. And Mom didn’t care much as long as I wasn’t around. Makes sense now that I know she wasn’t my biological mother.”

“I guess I just….” Jason shrugged, straightened. “I guess I thought you were happy to have that behind you.”

“I am,” Sam insisted. She mostly was, anyway. Sometimes she missed the rush, but— “It has its perks, but it’s stressful, okay? And technology made some of the old games harder.” She bit her lip. “But…the last guy I talked to? He used to run real estate scams with my dad after I left him. And…”

“And what?” Jason pressed when Sam didn’t continue speaking.

“He said he has a spot open. A short gig, really.” She shrugged. “Maybe two days. Posing as a client to make the mark more comfortable.”

“And he wants…you?” Jason lifted his brows. She tensed at the way his tone changed.

“Yeah, this kind of stuff used to be my bread and butter when I was setting up the longer cons,” Sam told him. She tossed her hair back and lifted her chin, nearly defiant now. “It’s not easy to research a rich guy and figure out how to take him for everything he has. I had to pay the bills between gigs.”

He exhaled slowly. “You just said that you were happy to be done with it—”

“This is different. Paulie’s an old friend, and he’s in a pinch.” Sam chewed her lip. “It wouldn’t be for another week. Maybe two. He’s still putting some things together, but his usual girl can’t make it. And he might remember more about my Dad if I do this for him.”

“You…” Jason shook his head. “Sam, what about…” He gestured around them. “Figuring out who arranged your adoption? You said you were done with this.”

“I am. It’s just a one-time thing.” Sam planted her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes. “What are you getting so pissy about, anyway? You walk out that door and commit worse crimes than I ever did. What, you get to be the criminal, and I have to stay here like Suzy homemaker?”

“No, but—” Jason pressed his lips together. “I’m just surprised you want to go back, even temporarily. I know you’re going through a lot—”

“Going through a lot—” Sam rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay. My brother—the last piece of family I had in this world—died. I found out my entire life was a lie because I’m apparently a piece of trash some girl dropped on the black market. She wanted me to disappear so much that someone set fire to any trail I might have used to find her. None of that has anything to do with wanting to do a favor for an old friend, Jason.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, neither really willing to back down. Jason hadn’t actually forbidden her from doing the job. He hadn’t really said anything at all that suggested he didn’t want her to do it—but Sam knew how to read him. He was pissed that she was thinking of dipping her toe back in the water and couldn’t figure out how to make her stop.

“This is something I’m good at,” Sam continued. “You know I haven’t been in the game since I came to Port Charles.” Not really anyway. Not since Sonny. Mostly.

She chewed on the inside of her cheek. Maybe those first few weeks she’d stayed with Jason, she’d played him a bit. But it wasn’t the same. That had been about survival. “I can make some quick cash, have something to do, and get my mind off all the crap I’m going through, okay?”

“Sam, listen—” Jason hesitated, then grimaced as his phone rang. He dug it out of his back pocket and answered. “Yeah? Oh.” He looked at Sam, and his face went blank. “Yeah, okay. No, no, I’ll come to you. I’ll be there in ten, maybe fifteen minutes.”

He closed his phone. “I’m sorry. Something came up. I need to go take care of this.”

She didn’t bother to ask him what was up — he wouldn’t answer her anyway. “Fine.”

He brushed a kiss on her cheek, then left. Sam scowled after him — what right did he have to make her feel guilty about doing the one thing she was good at? She’d been one of the best cons in the business and would probably have been able to retire to some sort of private island if she hadn’t given it up for him.

Not that he’d ever asked her to, but man, it was so fucking typical of a guy to have a double standard. He could go on a crime spree, but the minute Sam wanted to pull her own job, he got all pissy about it.

“Men,” she muttered before calling Paulie back. She’d do the job. It’d be a cold day in hell before Sam McCall was pushed around by some guy—even if she’d promised to marry him.

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

When the elevator doors buzzed open on their floor, Elizabeth glanced up and frowned when she saw her husband stepping off. Lucky Spencer winced as he leaned on the cane he’d been forced to use after being released from the hospital two weeks earlier.

He’d injured his back twice in the last six months—the first after the train accident caused by Manny Ruiz. Lucky had fought his way back to full health and active duty, only to be stricken with the encephalitis virus that nearly killed him. He’d passed out while driving, and the resulting car crash had re-injured his back.

He was back on disability and partial desk duty at the PCPD, and Elizabeth was hoping that his appointment with Patrick Drake would bring good news. Lucky was not a good patient, having spent way too much of the last year in General Hospital. He was impatient and short-tempered on his best day.

“Hey. You’re not done with your appointment already, are you?”

“No, I just…” Lucky grimaced as he stepped up to the station. “I just wanted to make sure you were still getting off work at six. I can’t pick Cameron up at daycare, but he can stay there until you’re done, right?”

Elizabeth hesitated, frowned. “Yeah, but they’re going to charge me for the overtime—what’s wrong? Do they need you at work or something?”

“They never need me at work,” Lucky said flatly. He seemed to hear the irritation and snap in his voice and sighed. “Sorry, it’s just…I’m tired. And my back hurts. There’s not a lot of call for a crippled cop right now.”

“But you’ll be back on your feet in no time,” Elizabeth said with a bright smile. “You’ll have your physical with Patrick, he’ll get your return date sorted and…all of this will just…” With a confidence she really didn’t feel, she finished, “it’ll just be a bad memory soon.”

“Yeah, I hope so. Anyway, can Cameron stay until six? I was able to get a therapy session scheduled after my appointment, and every bit helps.”

She didn’t want to argue with him about it, even though staying late meant Elizabeth would have to find an extra hundred dollars at the end of the week. “Yeah, um, sure. That’ll be fine. I’d ask Gram, but she’s got dinner tonight with some old friends.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you at home.” He brushed a kiss against her cheek. “I’d better head down to Patrick’s office.”

The universe was on her side—no sooner had one set of elevator doors closed on her husband’s face than the second set of doors opened on another face — one that Lucky would not have been thrilled to see.

Jason strode towards the nurse’s station. “Hey. I came as soon as I could. You said the test results were in?”

“Yeah.” She reached under the counter to retrieve the envelope and held it out to him. He didn’t take them. She tipped her head. “You okay?”

“Uh, yeah. I guess…”

Jason shifted, seemingly restless on his feet, and her concern grew. Elizabeth couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen Jason nervous. She hadn’t let herself wonder too much about the test he’d asked to run, but now she wondered exactly what kind of trouble he was in, and how a DNA test played into it.

She looked at her co-worker. “Nadine, I’m just about done here. Can you do these last two charts, and I’ll owe you forever?”

Nadine rolled her eyes but accepted the folders Elizabeth handed her. “Oh, sure, make more work for me when you’re abandoning me.” She smirked at Jason. “Lucky you found her here at all since she’s about to leave us forever.”

Jason furrowed his brow. “Wait, what?”

“Oh, stop.” To Jason, Elizabeth said, “Nadine is just being dramatic. This is my last shift working this floor.” She stepped down from the station, the results in her hand. “Come on, we’ll go find a conference room or something.”

Before she could take him away, Manny shuffled past them, slowly wheeling his cart. He offered them a smile before stepping onto the elevators.

When the door had closed, Jason turned back to her. “It’s been a few weeks since my guys started. How is it going?”

Elizabeth grimaced. “Okay, I guess. He’s still creepy, and I still feel like he’s around too much, but I feel better knowing someone is watching him.”

“Yeah, well, remember you promised not to help,” Jason said. “If you see something—”

“Call you and do nothing, yeah, yeah.” She sighed. “Come on. You probably want to see the results.”

“So, you’re moving floors?” Jason asked as she led him down a hallway and into an empty room with a conference table. Elizabeth switched on the lights.

“Yeah, I’m moving up to surgery tomorrow. Patrick and Monica are going to help me get the hours I need to certify as a surgical nurse.” Elizabeth shrugged but couldn’t fight her smile. “It was Bobbie’s idea, after the quarantine, I mean. She said Alan was impressed with—anyway.” She took a deep breath, held out the envelope. “Here you go.”

“Yeah.” Jason took the envelope, stared at it. “Uh, that’s great. I mean, is it a promotion?”

“Oh.” Elizabeth furrowed her brow. “I guess, sort of. I get better hours. Same pay, but I’ll be able to put Cameron down most nights—” She pursed her lips. “Jason, you don’t have to tell me anything, but…it’s almost as if you’re procrastinating. I’ve never known you to do that.”

“Yeah. I know.” And still…he didn’t open them. “You said Patrick wasn’t going to ask questions?”

“He said as long as it wasn’t illegal, he was happy to do me a favor. I’m not asking questions, either, Jason, but…” She nodded at it. “I could open it if you want. There are no names—”

“No, I’m being—” He shook his head and ripped the envelope open. He pulled out the thin white piece of paper and unfolded it. As his eyes scanned the results, his shoulders slumped, and he closed his eyes. “Damn it.”

“I guess it wasn’t the news you wanted?” Elizabeth asked. “Sorry.” She shook her head. “I promised not to ask questions—”

“No, it’s—” Jason dragged out a chair and sat down, looking more exhausted than he’d ever looked before—except maybe the time he’d been recovering from a bullet wound. He stared at the envelope and said nothing.

She waited. She knew he wasn’t the type to really open up—he never had been. Even when they’d objectively been friends, he’d always closed off what he was really thinking. She remembered back when he’d been shot and hiding in her studio—she hadn’t known until Carly turned up pregnant by Sonny why Jason had been angry with them.

Elizabeth pressed her lips together, nodded. Some things would never change. “Well, you have the results. I should get back to work—” She turned, put her hand on the doorknob.

“It’s a maternity test.”

He said the words so quietly she nearly missed them. Elizabeth turned back to look at him, but he was still staring at the paper in his hands.

“Oh.” Elizabeth pressed her lips together, shook her head. “Okay. I thought—” When Jason had wanted a DNA test, she’d hadn’t really known what to think. But he’d asked her for a favor, and she’d been curious enough—and secretly pleased he still trusted her enough to ask for something like this—to agree without asking questions.

“Yeah, I know. You thought it was a paternity test.” He set the paper on the table. He fell silent again. Then— “I don’t know what to do.”

Elizabeth raised her brows, a bit stunned. It was so rare that Jason admitted anything to her, much less—

She should tell him to call Emily. To go talk to Carly. Or Sonny. Or Sam. Someone who mattered to him. Who he trusted.

Who he’d let into his life instead of pushed away.

But she didn’t do any of that. Instead, she pulled out the chair next to him and sat down. “You know—whatever you tell me—it won’t leave this room. You can trust me.”

He looked up, then met her eyes. “I know that. That’s why I asked you to—” Jason exhaled slowly. “But this isn’t my secret.”

“If it’s a maternity test,” Elizabeth said slowly, drawing out the words, “then it’s probably for Carly or Sam. You should talk to them, Jason.”

“She doesn’t know—” Jason grimaced, looked away. “She doesn’t know I did this. That I ran the test. I didn’t think—” He pressed his lips together, looked back at the results. “I don’t know. I think maybe I was expecting them to come back negative. And then it would just be something I’d thought. I didn’t—I didn’t expect it to be true.”

“Ah.” Elizabeth leaned back in her chair, folding her arms. “So now it’s your secret, too, but you don’t want it to be.” She got to her feet. “Well, you know how to keep secrets, Jason. That’s something you’re good at it.”

Some things would never change.

“If Sam knew this,” Jason said, hesitantly, stopping her again as she started to leave. “If Sam knew this, it would be bad.”

Elizabeth pursed her lips. “Look, Jason, clearly you’re struggling with this. You did something behind Sam’s back, and now you know something she doesn’t. If you don’t want to talk to me about it, that’s fine. But—”

“I’m sorry,” Jason said. He shook his head. “You’re right. I just—I shouldn’t have done this,” he realized. “But now I have. And I don’t know what to do.”

“You tell her,” Elizabeth said flatly.

“I can’t—”

“Why?” she demanded, feeling more irritated than she had any right to. It was always the same damn conversation with Jason. “If it’s not about business, then what’s the big deal?”

Jason hesitated and looked at her. “After Danny died…Sam found out she was adopted.”

“Oh,” Elizabeth repeated. She sat back down. “That was probably rough.”

“Yeah, it—” Jason leaned back, staring at the paper. “She’s—she’s not taking it well. Danny was the only family she had left. And she had no idea. They never said anything.”

“I’m sorry—”

“We managed to track her adoption down to Maine and—” Jason cleared his throat. “Well, we got the rest of the information, but it was a fake identity. Sam was born in a clinic that shut down shortly afterward and adopted through an agency that only ever existed on paper. Her original birth certificate, uh, listed a woman named Natasha Davis as her mother.”

“Natasha Davis.” Elizabeth blinked. “Something about that…I don’t know. It sounds familiar.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. And then I remembered Alexis—”

“Davis,” Elizabeth murmured. “She was born—”

“Natasha Cassadine. And would have been sixteen the year Sam was born.”

General Hospital: Patrick Drake’s Office

“Have a seat.”

Lucky Spencer grimaced as the tall, dark-haired doctor gestured at the seat in front of his desk. “Do I have to? Can’t we just get this over with?”

“No,” Patrick Drake told him as he took his own seat. When Lucky had reluctantly lowered himself into the chair, Patrick opened Lucky’s file. “I’m sorry it’s taken a little bit of time to get this appointment in. I, uh…” He cleared his throat. “Tony had a lot of patients.”

“Yeah, yeah. Well, how many of them have you kept from going back to work?” Lucky snapped. He leaned back in the chair, folding his arms. He ignored the sharp pain in his back. “Just confirm what Tony said — I can go back to work next week—”

“Tony wasn’t able to conduct a full exam before he fell ill,” Patrick interrupted. “I have. I’ve seen the MRI and X-rays. I performed the initial surgery when you were brought in after the car accident—”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Lucky complained. “I just…I didn’t know I was sick—I just ran into the telephone pole—”

“At fifty miles an hour,” Patrick said dryly. “Look, I get it. You want to get back on active duty. I know you’ve been in physical therapy and on the desk since the train crash. But the fact is, Lucky, you aggravated your injury in the car accident.”

He’d known this was coming. Considering his back hurt as much today as it had the day Lucky had been discharged the first time back in December, he wasn’t too surprised. “So, fine. I can’t go back next week. When?”

“I don’t know. It took three months to recuperate last time.” Patrick tapped his pencil against the file. “I’m not comfortable giving you an exact date, but I understand for insurance purposes, you need it—”

“If I’m out on disability much longer, I might not be able to get back,” Lucky growled. “It’s already been three months, Drake. What? You telling me it’s another three?”

“Maybe. Maybe not. We’re not going to know that, Lucky, until we come up with a plan of action. You might need another surgery. I’m concerned that the disc you ruptured isn’t fully healed, and the MRI is backing me up.”

“I’m not having another surgery—” Lucky shifted with a grimace. “I’m almost at my lifetime cap on my insurance, okay? I was in the hospital last year, even before the first accident.”

Patrick exhaled slowly. “Ah, I thought that might be it. Look, we’ll try to avoid surgery. If I don’t see some good results in the next MRI or if you can’t get a decent range of motion in your next battery of physical tests, you might never get back on active duty.”

“Fine. Fine. So what? More therapy? More pills? I’m almost out of my last prescription, the one you wrote when I got released. And I don’t have any refills left.”

“No refills—Are you kidding—” Patrick swallowed hard. “Okay, if you’re almost out of the original and the refill I prescribed, then we need to talk about pain management. You’ve been on the steady dosage of oxycontin since November. That’s a long time—”

“What’s your point?” Lucky snapped. His fingers tightened around the grip of the chair. “You calling me a drug addict?”

“No.” Patrick’s voice was clipped. “I’m saying that if it’s not helping you manage the pain, we’ll need to look into other things. I’m not going to refill the prescription, Lucky. Four months of oxycontin is enough—”

“I got re-injured, didn’t I?”

“I know. Which is why I wrote you a prescription that should have lasted six weeks. Not three. I’m not writing you another one. Not for at least three more weeks. I can refer you to the pain management clinic—”

“Fuck that.” Lucky hurled himself out of the chair. “I’m a goddamn cop. I was injured in the line of duty, and you’re treating me like some scumbag druggie—” He shook his head. “I want another doctor.”

“I’m the only neurosurgeon at the hospital,” Patrick snapped. “I took over Tony’s neurology patients because the hospital is short-staffed. I’m the best in the state—”

“Tony Jones was—”

“Fifteen years ago, yeah. Maybe even ten years ago. But no doctor in their right mind is going to write you another prescription for opiates, Spencer.” Patrick got to his feet. “You can either take the referral to the pain management clinic or get by on aspirin.”

He held out the piece of paper. “I know you’re in pain, but the oxy isn’t going to help you. You’ve developed a tolerance—”

“I’m a drug addict, you mean. Just say it, Drake—”

“It’s common to develop a tolerance,” Patrick continued as if Lucky hadn’t spoken. “Either I raise the dosage or take you off it—”

“Can’t you write me a script for a different drug then? I’m in pain—”

Patrick just held out the referral. With a scowl, Lucky finally snatched it from him. “Go to the clinic. Keep working your therapy schedule. We’ll meet back here next week and see how you’re feeling.”

“Yeah, thanks a lot.”

Lucky stalked out of the room and headed for the elevators.

General Hospital: Conference Room

“Oh. Oh, God,” Elizabeth said as the horror of it set in. “Sam hates Alexis. Are you—are you telling me—” She took a deep breath. “You recognized the possibility, but you didn’t tell her.”

He shifted. “I didn’t want to worry or upset her. She’s been—losing Danny messed her up. She blames Alexis for his death. For her daughter’s death—for Manny Ruiz being on the loose—I just—I wanted to protect her. If it came back false, then—”

“But it didn’t. I feel so bad for her. I mean, I know Alexis is great, but I understand where Sam is coming from.” She hesitated. “Jason, you have to tell her.”

“I know.” But he didn’t look convinced.

“That’s not—this isn’t like you, Jason. It was one thing to run the test behind her back—” Elizabeth arched a brow at him. “It was a stupid thing, but fine. I could maybe get that. But now you know.

“Elizabeth—”

“What happens if she comes across this information later, another way?” Elizabeth asked. “This kind of thing always comes out. You know that.”

“I don’t know.”

“Will you tell her you already know? Will you lie, pretend you had no idea—”

“No—” Jason pressed his lips together and nodded. “No, I wouldn’t, but—”

Elizabeth gestured at the paper. “If you’d told me before I did this, I wouldn’t have run the test. I get—I get you’re trying to protect her. But Jason…” She tilted her head. “If you don’t tell her the truth now about something like this—something that matters to her—”

She fell silent, cleared her throat, and got to her feet. “It’s none of my business. I need to get back to work.”

Jason also rose, touched her elbow as she turned to leave. “No. Finish what you were going to say.”

“You’re already lying to her. You know something that matters to her—you thought you knew something and didn’t tell her. Now you actually know it. You think she’s not going to see you’re keeping a secret and wonder what it is?” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “I know you’re legendary for your stone face—”

Jason scowled, but she continued. “But you’re not a very good liar. I could always tell when you were lying to me.”

“You—” He blinked, swallowed hard. “What? When did I lie to you—I never—” Obviously remembering a moment too late, he snapped his mouth shut. “Right.”

Wishing she hadn’t brought it up, Elizabeth folded her arms, looked away. “When you were lying about Sonny. I didn’t know about what, but I knew you were lying. And…the other stuff that was going on—And you weren’t telling me. It hurt, Jason. And if Sam knows you at all, it’s going to hurt her—”

“I’m—” Jason started, but she shook her head.

“I don’t want to talk about it. We’re not talking about it,” she repeated when he opened his mouth as if to argue. “I’m just telling you I don’t recommend lying about something like this.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” Jason picked up the results, folded it, and put it inside his pocket. “Listen…I wish I had made different choices back then, Elizabeth. Been more honest. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, we both ended up where we’re supposed to be, I guess. I need to get back to work. And you need to go home and talk to Sam.”

“Thanks for doing this, Elizabeth. I knew I could trust you.”

“Always,” she said with a smile, profoundly relieved they’d tiptoed around their past and managed to dance right over it. She opened the conference door. “C’mon, I’ll walk you to the elevator. I wanted to ask you something about Emily anyway.”

“Is she ignoring a lot of your calls, too?” Jason asked as they left the room.

General Hospital: Pediatrics Floor

 Lucky stepped out of the elevator and scowled when he saw that the nurse’s station was empty. Where the hell had Elizabeth gone? He wandered down one of the halls, hoping to find her coming out of a patient’s room, but no such luck. Maybe he could page his aunt or something back at the nurse’s station.

Just as he rounded the corner to return to the hub, he saw his wife walk out of a room with Jason Morgan. Elizabeth was smiling at the damn thug as she walked him to the elevator.

Didn’t she know how much pressure he was under at work? What the hell was she thinking smiling and talking to a fucking criminal?

He reached into his pocket and drew out the pills. He still had about twenty left. He could make that last for a week. If he wanted to. And then by next week, if he worked hard enough, he’d have kicked the pain and not need them at all.

He didn’t even need one now, but he wanted to spite that damn doctor. He didn’t need them. He just didn’t think he should have to walk down to the parking garage with his back hurting like this.

He was a fucking cop, and he deserved better than this bullshit. He cracked open the bottle and tossed two pills back. Just to take the edge off so he could get home.

May 4, 2020

This entry is part 1 of 33 in the For the Broken Girl: Reflections of You

It’s hard to admit that
Everything just takes me back
To when you were there
To when you were there
And a part of me keeps holding on
Just in case it hasn’t gone
I guess I still care
Do you still care?
When We Were Young


Monday, March 6, 2006

 General Hospital: Nurse’s Station, Pediatrics Floor

 It had been just over a week since the World Health Organization lifted the quarantine placed on General Hospital.

Port Charles had turned the page on the deadly encephalitis epidemic that had raged within its town limits for nearly three weeks. It had taken the lives of more than sixty residents, including several doctors, nurses, and orderlies that had risked their lives to care for the sick and dying. Nearly everyone in Port Charles had lost someone or knew someone that had suffered a loss.

Elizabeth Spencer walked beneath a memorial wreath hanging on the wall by elevators, commemorating the student nurse assigned to Pediatrics that had died in the epidemic. She flashed a smile at one of her colleagues, Nadine Crowell, another student nurse who was looking at the wreath and the photograph hanging beneath it. “How are you holding up?”

“Well enough,” Nadine said with a sigh as she reached for a chart. “Regina’s parents left yesterday. They’re taking her home to Buffalo for a funeral. I’m going to try to get a few days, but…” She offered Elizabeth a hesitant smile. “A lot of people are asking for time off for a funeral right now.”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “I went to the last memorial service yesterday,” she said. “For Courtney. Matthews,” she added when Nadine looked at her, slightly mystified. “She’s the one that had the baby before she died?”

“Oh, right. Your brother-in-law’s….” Nadine pursed her lips and squinted her eyes. Still, there was no word really to describe the relationship between Nikolas Cassadine and Courtney, as it had begun while Nikolas was still married to Elizabeth’s best friend. “How is he?”

“He left for Greece this morning. He needed to get away,” Elizabeth said. “He went with Lucky’s sister, Lulu.” She tapped her pen against a chart. “I should call Bobbie, see how she and Lucas are doing.”

“Yeah,” Nadine began as an intern stalked into the hub to reach for a chart. He wasn’t paying attention as he grabbed it, knocking an entire stack to the floor. “Hey, watch it—”

You watch it!” the intern snapped. “I’m covering twice as many patients—” He looked at Elizabeth, his cheeks flushed. “You know, your best friend called out. Again.”

“Emily?” Elizabeth said. “What—”

“Must be nice to be the daughter of the chief of staff,” the intern snarled before taking the chart he’d come for and storming away. Nadine sighed and knelt down to clean up the rest of the charts.

Elizabeth shook her head and reached into her pocket for her cell phone. “I’m going to text her. Something must be wrong for her to have called out like this—I just saw her yesterday at the memorial—” She looked at Nadine, then frowned. “What? You’re making a face.”

“I will say it’s the third shift that she’s missed since the quarantine lifted,” Nadine admitted. “I thought maybe she was just sick or tired. I mean, we all are—”

“Yeah, but—” Elizabeth sighed, closed her phone. “Well, I’ll check in with her. See what’s up.”

The elevator doors slid open, and Jason Morgan stepped out. Elizabeth lifted her brows at seeing Emily’s brother on her floor. He wasn’t a regular visitor to General Hospital, and even less so to the pediatrics floor. “Hey,” she said as he walked up to the counter. “Are you looking for Emily? She’s not here.”

Jason furrowed his brow, shook his head. “She’s supposed to meet me here—” His phone buzzed at that point, and he pulled it out of the pocket of his leather coat. He grimaced as he read a text message. “And—you’re right. Emily just told me she’s not here.”

“Yeah, I guess it was last minute,” Elizabeth said with a shrug. She picked up a chart, then stopped and sighed. “How’s Sam?” she asked, having remembered that his fiancée, Sam McCall, had been ill with the virus and lost a brother to the illness. “I didn’t want to ask if she was having a memorial for her brother, but—”

“Oh.” Jason cleared his throat. “Uh, she’s okay,” he said. “We didn’t—Danny’s not from Port Charles. So we went to Hawaii to spread his ashes.” He looked away. “But, uh, I know she said she wanted to thank you. I guess…you were Danny’s nurse?”

“Yeah,” Elizabeth said with a wistful smile. “He was really sweet, and I—” She took a deep breath. “We worked really hard, but we just couldn’t—” Her throat felt tight. “I’m just glad we didn’t lose more. Thank God you and Carly got the vaccine here.”

“Yeah. Well, I wish I’d been faster. I wish we’d saved Danny.”

Elizabeth opened her mouth to say something else, but then she heard it. A slight creak—the sound of a wheel that needed a spray of WD-40—then the footsteps. She looked past Jason to see the short bald man rolling his janitorial cart down the hallway towards them. He was a slight man, his olive skin heavily tattooed, his dark eyes already scanning the halls and area around him.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and forced a smile on her face. “Um, if you—” Her fingers shook as she reached for a pen as the custodian drew closer. “If you talk to Emily—”

“Are you okay—” Jason stopped as he noticed the custodian drawing towards them. His face tightened as Manny Ruiz flashed them both a smile and offered Jason a two-fingered salute. Then he slowly wheeled the cart past them, disappearing down another hallway.

“I hate him,” Nadine said as she came up behind Elizabeth, offered her fellow nurse a squeeze on the arm in support. “Doesn’t it always feel like he’s watching you?”

“Yeah,” Elizabeth said faintly as she looked to where Manny had disappeared. “Yeah, it does.”

Manny Ruiz had wreaked havoc on Port Charles for months before his capture at Christmas. He was one of Jason and Sonny’s rivals from Miami who had arrived after the slaughter of his father and brother at the hands of Lorenzo Alcazar. He’d engineered a train accident that had killed dozens of Port Charles residents, injuring more than a hundred—including Elizabeth’s husband. Then, he had held the OR at gunpoint to stop them from saving Jason’s life that December.

And of course, Elizabeth had her own experience with the lunatic.

Last October, he’d grabbed Elizabeth from the hospital, taken her hostage, and forced her to tend to wounds he’d received. She’d managed to escape and put it behind her—but Manny Ruiz had stalked her nightmares for months.

Now, he worked at General Hospital as a custodian, thanks to Alexis Davis and Ric Lansing. They had argued Manny wasn’t responsible for his actions due to a brain tumor on his frontal lobe. As if Manny’s particular brand of violence and sadistic torment could be excused so easily.

“That’s why I was meeting with Emily,” Jason said. “We were—I know he started here in January, but that was right before everyone got sick, and he wasn’t here during the quarantine. I didn’t have a chance to do anything—” He squinted at her. “Elizabeth, are you okay?” he repeated.

She blinked at him, realized that she was still looking down the hall—as if making sure Manny was really gone.

“I’m fine,” Elizabeth said finally. “Um, yeah, I think Emily said you were going to talk to Alan, try to convince him to fire Manny—” She wiggled her shoulders. “I’m sorry, I just—I hate him.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Jason tipped his head. “You see him a lot?”

“All the time,” Nadine muttered. She flushed when they looked at her. “Sorry. None of my business. But he’s always pushing that stupid cart past the nurse’s station. I get it, we’re in the middle of everything, but—” She picked up her charts. “I hate him,” she said, then left the nurse’s station to check on a patient.

“Does he hang around Emily a lot?” Jason asked, looking back at Elizabeth.

“I—” Elizabeth shook her head. “No. I mean, I don’t know. Maybe he does. She and I haven’t worked the same shift in a while—” She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just—I feel like he’s always there.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “I guess you weren’t able to get Alan to fire him?”

“It’s not up to him, he said. Ruiz is here on some sort of community outreach, and the board is being stubborn. He’s going to keep working, but—” Jason scratched the edge of his eyebrow with his thumb. “Can you—is there somewhere we can talk?”

“Um, sure.” Elizabeth stepped out of the station. It was one thing to talk in public about a common threat, or even just to work together during a crisis like they had during the epidemic. She’d helped him, and Carly get the vaccine into the hospital when the authorities had refused to let him in, but somehow that felt different.

There was something uncomfortable about leading Jason into an empty conference room and closing the door behind her—the first time they’d been alone together since—

She furrowed her brow, staring at the cheap wood of the door. She couldn’t quite remember—maybe it had been here at the chapel, the night Emily had nearly died more than two years ago. Elizabeth shook her head and squared her shoulders. It didn’t matter if she and Jason were alone together, and it was silly to even think it did.

She turned to face him. “What’s up?”

“Alan is hiring two of my guys as orderlies,” Jason told her. “One to follow Manny around, and the other here on the Pediatrics floor because of Emily. But—you said you think Manny is watching you. And that other nurse—she said it’s like he’s always at the nurse’s station. Is she right? Do you think Manny’s watching you?”

“No,” Elizabeth said immediately. “Of course not. There’s no reason—” She folded her arms, looked at the floor. “I would never—I don’t matter—”

“Elizabeth.”

His quiet, reassuring tone gave her the courage to look up, to meet his eyes. He didn’t look irritated or annoyed. Just concerned. “I don’t think he’s watching me,” Elizabeth repeated. “Which is different than saying it feels like he is. I think I’m just being sensitive about it. I mean, since last October, when he grabbed me from the hospital—”

Jason held up a hand, and she stopped talking. “I’d forgotten,” he said quietly. “Some of the memories from before the surgery—” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. When Lucky came to tell me and Sam, to look for Manny, I didn’t know—” He swallowed. “I didn’t realize I knew you.”

I didn’t realize I knew you.

She let his words roll around in her head because, man, it was such a simple thing to say. And it was true. But it didn’t feel like enough.

She shook her head. She wasn’t doing this. “Oh. Well, yeah, I knew that. And it’s okay. I mean, he just wanted me to take care of his wound. And obviously, it all worked out. Anyway, like I said, it’s just—it brings back a lot. To see Manny—I had—” She sighed, stared at her fingers. At her wedding ring. “I had some nightmares. It all felt like it got mixed up with…other things.”

“I’m sorry.”

Elizabeth met his eyes, realized he had made the connection to what she hadn’t wanted to say. That the way Manny had grabbed her, threatened her—that it had made her think about her rape. “I’m glad you’re going to have someone watching him at the hospital,” Elizabeth said finally. “Lucky said the PCPD couldn’t do anything about it. Officially, the charges against Manny have been dropped. Even mine. So…” She flashed him a bright smile that she hoped looked more confident than she felt. “You’re watching him.”

“Yeah, but you tell me if you think he’s paying too much attention to you, okay? Or anyone—” Jason grimaced and shook his head. “Never mind. I don’t want you worried about him any more than you need to be.”

“No—no, if I see Manny watching someone—I mean, the way he went after Sam and—I want to help. It’ll make me feel better—”

“You are not going to help,” Jason cut in sharply. “Don’t get involved. Stay safe.”

Safe. She scowled. “Oh, you mean, safe at the hospital? Where Manny grabbed me in the first place? Listen, if I see Manny hurting someone, what do you expect me to do? If he starts following someone around, do you think I’m just going to ignore it?”

“No, that would be too easy,” he muttered. He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Fine. Fine,” he repeated. “If you see something, then you can tell me. Or Lucky, I guess. I don’t want to make problems for you. But do not get involved.”

“I won’t.”

“I mean it, Elizabeth. Stay away from him.”

Elizabeth arched her brow, folded her arms, and glared at him. “How dumb do you think I am?”

“I think that you’re incredibly brave and willing to put your life on the line to save someone else,” Jason said, with an irritated tone that made it sound less like a compliment. “So don’t.”

“If I see something, I’ll tell you.” When he just stared at her because apparently, he knew her better than she remembered, she sighed. “But you can’t be everywhere, Jason. You’re not Superman.”

“Elizabeth—”

“If I see him following someone or just doing something suspicious, I will call you.” She hesitated. “I, uh, don’t have your number. You—” Her cheeks flushed. “You changed it.”

“I had—” Jason took out his phone, went through his contacts, then paused. “I didn’t realize,” he said after a long moment. “I guess—”

“You haven’t needed to get in touch with me,” Elizabeth said with a nod. No point in getting depressed over it. “Yeah. I didn’t know either. Until we were in the middle of the virus, and I wanted to—” She shook her head. “Anyway. I’ll just tell Emily or something—”

“No—” He held out his phone. “Put your number in. I’ll save it now. And then I’ll call you, and you save mine.”

Their fingers brushed as she took the phone, and she nearly fumbled. But she pulled herself together, typed in her number, then pressed send. Her phone rang in her pocket. She handed his phone back to him. Quietly, they both saved each other’s contact information.

“Thank you for letting me know that you’ll have guys here. And when I find Emily, I’m sure she’ll feel safer, too. I should get back to work—”

“Actually—” Jason grimaced. “I was going to ask Emily if she could do me a favor, but—she’s not here. And I’d rather get it done as soon as possible. Would you mind—”

“Sure.” Elizabeth folded her arms and offered him a smile. “What’s up? What do you need?”

“I need a DNA test run,” Jason said after a long moment. “Without any names attached. Or anyone knowing. Is…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Is that something you’d be willing to do? If you can’t—I mean, I know you’re married. To a cop,” he added as if it hadn’t been implied in the first half of the statement. “Or it might be against hospital rules—”

“It probably is,” Elizabeth admitted. “Patrick owes me a favor, and he won’t ask questions. I promise. You can—” She met Jason’s eyes, swallowed hard. “You can trust me.”

“I always could,” Jason said. He cleared his throat. “I’ll get you the samples then.” He started for the door, then turned back. “Thanks.”

“Any time.”