March 31, 2018

Timeline

This is a rewrite of the General Hospital episode that aired for their 55th anniversary in 2018, so it’s set after Jason’s return.

Inspiration

I was really disappointed in the GH anniversary episode. The flashbacks were nice, but they didn’t feel all that connected to what was happening on the screen. It felt like random people put in the room. Also, Elizabeth didn’t get nearly the kind of prominence a character like her deserves. So I rewrote the episode, and yeah, it’s heavy on Elizabeth and Jason. That’s who I am as a writer, and it’s also where I think they should be. They’re two hugely popular legacy characters with a deep history and connections to basically everyone on the show. They’ve also barely shared any screen time in the six months Steve has been back. Also. I’ve killed off Audrey. Rachel Ames retired; they ought to let Grams go in peace.

So this doesn’t use all the vets the show did, but I still tried to do the same stories. Writing Mike’s scenes was hard. My grandmother is dealing with dementia, so I wrote his conversations to mirror the way my grandmother slips in and out. And the regret and worry I feel for me and family. I hope you like this.

Update: I wrote and published this on March 31, 2018. On April 21, 2018, my grandmother passed away in her sleep after a short battle with dementia. She had been on hospice, a fact that was not shared with my side of the family because my uncle had taken over her care and refused us access. I don’t think I could have written this story after that fact.  This will likely be the last story I write for a while referring to Mike’s storyline.


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Saturday, March 31, 2018

Metro Court Hotel: Restaurant

In our times of trouble

Sonny Corinthos stepped off the elevator and smiled. He had asked Carly to arrange something that would remind them all of Luke’s, the jazz club he’d owned with Luke Spencer a lifetime ago, where his father had tended the bar, and as always, Carly had gone the extra mile.

She’d closed the restaurant for a week, redecorated with dark paneling, a stage that looked very similar to the one B.B. King had rocked on the opening night, and a long dark bar had replaced the restaurant’s smaller, modern modern feel.

“What do you think?” Carly whispered in his ear. She wound her arm through his, the sparkling silver of her dress catching in the dim lighting. “Do you think it’s too much? I never spent a lot of time at the club, but Mama helped. She said it brought back a lot of good memories.”

“It’s—” Sonny took a deep breath. “It’s perfect. I just…for a minute, I thought I was back there. I didn’t even know how much I missed the old place until—” He shook his head. “Until Mike broke into the gallery, I hadn’t even thought about the club in a decade. Not since…”

We only had ourselves
Nobody else

“I didn’t know you when you and Luke were close, but—”

“It cut something in me when he blamed me for Lucky’s death,” Sonny murmured. “He was one of my best friends. Like a brother. I loved that kid. I’ll never forgive myself—”

“But you didn’t—”

“Better security would have kept Helena Cassadine’s goons from stealing that boy’s life. From devastating his family.” Sonny looked over, caught sight of a brunette smiling, laughing with his mother-in-law. “You invited Elizabeth.”

“Yeah.” Carly sighed. “Yeah, I did. I wasn’t going to, but then Mama reminded me all of the years she worked at Kelly’s—and well…” She winced. “This night is about family, right? She’s Jake’s mother. Like it or not, we’re stuck with her.”

“That’s sweet,” Sonny said dryly. “It’s been twenty years. You ever gonna forgive her?”

“For what?” Carly rolled her eyes. “She’s the twit, not me.” And with that, his mercurial wife moved over to the bar to check on last minute additions. Sonny looked at his watch, then pulled out his phone to call his sons to make sure Mike was on his way.

No one there to save us
We had to save ourselves

“I can still remember the first time I was at Luke’s,” Elizabeth Webber said with a smile as Bobbie Spencer passed her a glass of wine. “Amy Vining won a dance contest. There was so much music, so much laughter.” Then her smile dimmed. “And then Nikolas—”

“That was a terrible night,” Bobbie said with a soft sigh. “But Jason was there. And he saved his life.” The redhead turned to find the enforcer deep in conversation with Anna Devane. The two of them looked as though they were arguing, so Bobbie turned her attention back to her former niece-in-law. “I imagine things have been…awkward since he came home.”

“Awkward.” Elizabeth’s lips pressed together as she stared into the wine. “That isn’t…even half of it. I’ve barely spoken to him.”

And when the storms came through

“Really?” Bobbie lifted her eyebrows. “I would have thought with Jake—”

“It’s not like I haven’t wanted to,” Elizabeth cut back in sharply. “I just—Franco—” She closed her eyes. “You know how everyone always gets when Jason and I breathe the same air. Lucky. Ric. Sam. Courtney. Even Carly. They always seem to think we’re just…waiting to go back to each other.” She sipped her wine. “We made our choices.”

“Mmm…” Bobbie nodded. “I know how people are. I know how my daughter is. I just didn’t know you and Jason gave a damn about any of that.” She eyed Elizabeth’s hand with its missing engagement ring. “None of those people are here tonight.”

They found me and you
Back to back together

“I’ve finally managed to convince Robert to give us a hand,” Anna Devane was saying when Jason tuned back into their conversation. “He’s been the devil to track down on this last assignment—”

“I don’t know what help you think he could give me,” Jason muttered. He was tired of everyone treating him like he couldn’t solve his own goddamn problems. Even if part of him thought maybe they were right.

“Well it’s not about help,” Anna said, with some impatience. “But it is clear that neither of us are able to see the big picture. I’ve been looking back of what we have so far—what we managed to glean from Faison—and it strikes me that we’re missing a rather big part of the puzzle.”

“And what’s what?” Jason demanded.

“The Cassadines,” Anna said simply. “And few people know the Cassadines better than Robert. He helped save the world from them. Luke’s out of commission. But Robert—”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. The Ice Princess. What about the Cassadines?”

“Well, I’ve just thought it odd we haven’t given them enough thought. Helena had a chip in Drew’s head when he first came back to Port Charles. And she held your son hostage for several years.” Anna gestured across the room where Elizabeth was standing with Bobbie, now joined by Mac Scorpio and his wife Felicia. “And Valentin sent Ava to that clinic where you were being kept. They are the common factor in all of this.”

“They’ve always been interested in playing with people’s heads,” Jason said, almost absently as he remembered the flashing angry eyes of Lucky Spencer and the switchblade he’d held in his hand.

“Precisely. I thought Robert could give us a perspective—”

“Great. Let me know when he gets here,” Jason said, and then abruptly walking away to find Carly.

He didn’t want to think about any of this any more tonight.

And when the sun would shine

The elevator doors opened, and Mike Corbin stepped out, clad in a tuxedo that matched his grandsons behind him. Sonny grinned and stepped forward. “Hey, Mike. Welcome back to Luke’s.”

He took in Mike’s astonishment, felt his smile slip slightly. What if Kevin Collins had been wrong? What if bringing back all of this would just upset his father?

He always felt like he couldn’t do anything right. He never knew what he would say, what would he do to trigger Mike’s irritation, his anger. Kevin could tell Sonny all he wanted that it wasn’t his fault, but damn it, didn’t it have to be somebody’s?

Maybe if he’d been a more forgiving son, a better brother to Courtney—maybe he and Mike could have been closer. What if Mike hadn’t left Port Charles? Sonny would have seen the signs earlier. Medication—something—

It was yours and mine
Yours and mine forever

“We thought it might be nice to bring back some old memories,” Michael said easily as he clapped a hand on his grandfather’s shoulder. “Dad says you were one of the best bartenders in the city.”

“The state, he told me,” Dante offered. “Maybe you want to make us some drinks and settle it.”

Mike swallowed, his eyes looking around. “You…you changed the whole restaurant for this—”

“I’ve been thinking of decorating,” Carly said as she stepped up to her husband, sliding her arm through his. A comfort at his side—thought if twenty years ago, anyone would have told him that Carly would be his solid rock of Gibraltar, he would have though they were insane.  “We don’t have a good old fashioned blues club anymore. Maybe we should invest in one.”

“Maybe.” Mike clapped his hands together with a smile. “Where’s the bar? Let’s get this party started.”

Oh how the years go by

“I can’t think of Luke’s without thinking of Georgie,” Felicia Scorpio murmured to her husband as she took a glass of champagne from a passing waiter. “Do you remember that night?”

“I do,” Bobbie said dryly.

“Oh, I think Lucky told me about this,” Elizabeth said. “You had her in the club, didn’t you?”

“I did. I went into labor right at Luke’s.” Felicia pressed her fingers to her lips. “It doesn’t seem right she’s been gone now for so long.”

“Ten years.” Mac stared down into his beer. “It feels like yesterday. And now, with Maxie—” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. This isn’t—”

“We tried to get her to come tonight. To just get out of the house, but I don’t know. Maybe we shouldn’t push.” Felicia chewed on her bottom lip. “What do you think?”

Bobbie glanced at Elizabeth, tilted her head. “What do you think?”

“What?” Elizabeth blinked. “Oh. Well…I know it’s not the same, but when I thought Lucky was gone—I tried to go back to my old life. Go out with friends. I went to Luke’s, too. But I always felt…pressured to be okay. I didn’t want anyone to worry about me, you know? So I pretended.” Her fingers tightened around the stem of her glass. “Until I almost drowned in the lie.”

Oh how the love brings tears to my eyes

“Oh.” Felicia’s eyes misted over. “Oh, sweetheart. But yes, yes that’s exactly what I think it is happening. We keep trying to bring her out of this, and God knows, Lulu is annoying her with trying to make Maxie forgive her—I just—”

“I don’t want her spin out like she did after Jesse,” Mac said roughly. “I know it’s not a good memory for you, either, Elizabeth—”

“She was so much younger then,” Elizabeth offered. “I always understood it. Lucky was her port in the storm. Her way of feeling normal. She was desperate to find anything that made her feel like she was still part of the world. I felt that way, too. I just…” She lifted a shoulder. “I found someone who would just listen, you know? That’s what she needs. Someone who doesn’t want to fix her. Who makes it okay to live with her memories. Some days are going to be bad. She’s going to want to drown in her grief. And some days are going to be better.”

“We’ll do better.” Felicia touched her arm. “Thank you. I appreciate your advice. And if you and Maxie were on a better footing, I’d say you could be that person—”

“It’s very easy to latch on to the first person you see, to the first person who makes you feel normal.” Elizabeth sighed. “And it’s easier to lose yourself in that lie. But Maxie is stronger than that, Felicia. I promise you that. She’s your daughter. And Mac didn’t raise any fools.”

“On a happier note,” Bobbie said. “Do you remember your first wedding?” she asked Felicia. “The double one with Kevin and Lucy that wasn’t?”

“Oh, of course. One of my favorites.” Felicia took Mac’s hand in hers. “Even if I messed it up later. Elizabeth!” The memory slipped back into her head like lightning. “You caught the bouquet!”

Elizabeth’s startled laughter rang out over the room. “Oh, my God. I completely—I did, didn’t I?” Her cheeks flushed. “I caught it more with my hair, but yeah. Oh, my God. I can’t believe I forgot that.” She shook her head. “It feels like a lifetime ago.”

“It does.” Felicia smiled up at Mac brightly. “We’ve been through hell, you and me, huh? But here we are.”

“Exactly where we’re supposed to be.” He pressed his lips to his wife’s. “You can’t fight destiny.”

All through the changes the soul never dies

“He’s going to be a father,” Carly said, taking a seat next to Jason and setting another Rolling Rock down in front of him. “Can you believe it?”

“No.” Jason exhaled slowly, following Carly’s gaze where Michael was laughing with his grandfather and brother. “I can remember the first time I held him. Bobbie had to show me how—” He stared down at his hands. “He was so small. I was so afraid I would screw it up.”

“I used to feel guilty about abandoning him that first month, that I missed most of his first year,” Carly said. “I still do, but God, looking back, it kills me, Jason, that Michael is the only child you got to raise.”

“I’m—” Jason’s throat tightened. “That’s not true. I’m spending time with Danny now, and—”

“But you’re still not seeing Jake—”

“That’s not—it’s complicated.” Jason shifted. “And you act like I never saw Jake before the accident. I was there when he was born. I held him—”

“Only for Elizabeth to give—”

“Stop.” Jason shook his head. “Just don’t do this, Carly. Jake is my son, and it’s complicated right now. But it’s getting better. He’s alive. I got a miracle. You think I care that he doesn’t love me? I don’t need him to love me. He’s alive, and he’s breathing.”

“Right.” Carly closed her eyes. “Right. Of course. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I guess I still— I blame myself for that, too. If I hadn’t been in such a hurry to keep her out of your life, I don’t know, maybe she wouldn’t have lied—”

We fight, we laugh, we cry

“It wasn’t just you,” Jason muttered. He stared down at the table. “And it’s not your fault. Not entirely. You and Sonny didn’t help, but I didn’t let her tell me anything. I told her it was better Lucky was the baby’s father. And she…”

“Thought it meant you didn’t want him,” Carly said. She tilted her head. “You never told me that before.”

“Yeah, well….” Jason tipped his beer back, took a long swig. “Sometimes it’s easier to forget that the reason Jake isn’t in my life, that he had Lucky at all is as much my fault as it is Elizabeth’s. More.”

“Oh, I doubt—”

“I asked her to marry me ten minutes before I found out Michael was shot, Carly. I stepped away from her. From the boys.” He shook his head. “I have to live with that, not Elizabeth. The first year, maybe that’s on her more than me. But the next three? It’s my fault. So stop blaming Elizabeth for everything that’s wrong in my life.”

“I don’t blame her for everything,” Carly muttered. “I don’t think global warming is her fault.” She looked across the room to find Elizabeth with her mother. “Mike said he talked to her in the church. The day she was supposed to get married. I had forgotten he knew her.”

“Well, she worked at Kelly’s with him and Tammy for years.”

Carly tilted her head. “Do you remember everything about Elizabeth? Good God. I bet you even remember the first time you saw her. No, don’t tell me.” She wiggled her shoulders. “I don’t want to know.” She waited. “No, I do. Tell me.”

Jason sat back, in a mood to rile her up. “Actually, it was at Luke’s. The first time I remember seeing her. The night Nikolas Cassadine was shot. She was with her sister in the parking lot.”

Carly glared at him. “In the middle of the parking lot, while you were performing an emergency tracheotomy, you noticed Elizabeth Webber.”

As the years go by

He shrugged. “I always know who’s around me when shots have been fired. But that’s not what you meant is it? You mean do I remember when we first became friends?” He leaned forward. “What exactly are you asking?”

Carly hesitated. “I’ve been shoving Sam at you pretty…strongly since you came home. I did the same thing when Drew was supposed to be you. I tell myself it’s because I want you to be happy, and you and Sam were married when you….left. But part of me…part of me knows that’s a bunch of bull. Because Drew was going to marry Elizabeth. And I wanted you back in my life. I don’t get to have you when she’s around.”

“Carly—” Jason closed his eyes. Shook his head. “That’s not true.”

“It’s not, no, but I guess…” Carly chewed on her bottom lip. “I guess part of me always remembered when you were hurt. When you were shot. You pushed me away—yes, you had your reasons and they were good ones, but all I felt was rejection. And I knew I was losing you. You told me you loved me, but it didn’t feel real. It didn’t feel true when you said it.”

“I thought it was,” Jason admitted. “I was wrong. I’m sorry—”

“I don’t want to go back to that,” Carly told him. “I don’t—that part of our life is over. I can honestly say I haven’t thought about you that way in decades. But I will always associate losing you with Elizabeth Webber coming into your life, so yeah, I’ve gone out of my way to demolish her in your eyes.” She smiled sourly. “I don’t think I’ve been good at it, huh?”

“You’re my friend, Carly, and I love you. But no. You need to worry about your own family. I can handle my own life.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Carly sighed. “I’m going to go check on the caterer. You should go talk to Monica. She’s been eyeing you up since she came in, and she’s still hesitant to come near you without some sort of engraved invitation.”

There were times we stumbled

“Luke’s seems like it was a pretty cool place,” Dante said, taking a seat next to his brother. “Whatever happened to it?”

“I’m not sure,” Michael said with a shrug. “Dad owned it until that fire with Jason’s garage, and he sold his interest to Luke. I think Luke closed it after Laura got sick.” He looked at the bar. “He seems like it’s a good night tonight.”

“Yeah, it seems that way. I just—” Dante exhaled slowly. “I don’t know how many of those nights we have left. It’s crazy, you know. We can be having a conversation, and he knows me, but halfway through his own sentence, it’s like he forgets me. We were talking about Rocco’s baseball team, and he was telling stories about Sonny playing stickball—and he asked about my ma. Like she wasn’t my mother. He didn’t know who I was.” His voice faltered. “He and I were never close, you know, but he’s always been good to me. And Christ, Michael, it scares the crap out of me.”

They thought they had us down

“Because it could be genetic,” Michael said. He exhaled slowly. “Yeah. Yeah, Dad was saying something about that. I guess I got lucky. I only got addiction in my genes—”

“Yeah, we Corinthos men got the winning hand. Bipolar disorder, dementia…can’t wait to see what else is in store.” Dante shook his head. “I don’t mean that. I’m sorry—”

“Hey, don’t apologize, man. We can’t say this stuff to Dad. He’s already got enough guilt over Morgan.” Michael rubbed the back of his neck. “Grandfather—Edward, I mean—he was sharp until the last few weeks. Even bedridden, he was always there. I mean, he drove me insane, and I wish like hell I had gotten to know him better.” He stared into space. “I’m glad he died before he found out about Jason going off that pier. That he didn’t live to see the last six years.”

“Losing ELQ would have killed him.”

But we came around

“It was never the company,” Michael said with a shake of his head. “I know everyone always thinks Grandfather was obsessed with business, and he was, don’t get me wrong. But it was what ELQ was supposed to represent. It was supposed to be family. He used it to keep the family tied to each other. That’s why he gave out the stock in his will. To make us sit in a room together. We just…never got the hang of it.”

“Do you think about AJ?” Dante said after a long moment.

“Yeah. A lot. Especially now that I’m about to be a father. I think a lot about what it must have felt like for him to always have to prove himself to everyone in his life,” Michael replied. “To constantly have to prove his worthiness to be my father. I wish I had known him better. And I feel guilty I let Dad back in, you know? He shot AJ. He killed him. And he lied to me for months.”

“Sonny raised you, Michael. No one blames you for not being able to forget that—”

“I blame me. He’s father, and I love him. But I can’t pretend it’s not different now. I know Mom wants me to figure out how to get Nelle out of my life, and I get it. Part of me even agrees, but then—”

“You think about who you thought she was.”

“Who she might still be,” Michael corrected. “I don’t know what kind of mother she’ll be. I just—she deserves the chance to do right by our child. I owe my father that. He spent his life drowning in the bottle, lying, stealing, cheating. Trying to live up to an image. And trying to be my father. Nelle…reminds me of him. She lies like someone people breathe, and I know it’s about protecting herself. Mostly.”

“She also loves to stick it to your mother.”

“Yeah, well, Mom doesn’t really endear herself to many people. And she’s got good reasons not to like Nelle either.” Michael shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess…I’m interested to see what happens when the baby is born. How Nelle handles it. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. Does that make me an idiot?”

“It does,” Dante told him. “But you know, if part of you sees this as atoning for letting Sonny back in your life, then well, who I am to argue? The bastard shot me, and here I am in his life. I let my kid call him Grandpa. We’re all stupid sometimes.”

How we rolled and rambled

Elizabeth flashed a hesitant smile as she stepped up to the bar where Mike was carefully measuring out a drink. “Hey. Word has it you’re making a mean pomegranate martini tonight.”

Mike’s face, so familiar to her, creased in a wide smile. “Elizabeth! The prettiest girl in the room! I was wondering if you’d come over to see me. You want a pomtini? Coming right up.”

Elizabeth slid onto the stool. “You look like you’re having a good time tonight.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s a good day.” Mike nodded. He measured vodka into a shaker, followed by the pomegranate mix. “I still remember you, though.” He tapped his temple. “Hard to forget you with Tammy and Ruby always yelling at you for breaking something or forgetting an order.”

Elizabeth laughed, covered her face with her hands. “Oh, man. You remember how bad I was in the beginning? I was hopeless.”

“Nah. You were young.” Mike shook out the glass. “And you were never meant for that life. Waiting on others. You were supposed to be an artist. Tammy always thought you would set the world on fire.”

Elizabeth sighed and accepted the drink he handed her. “Well, life gets in the way. That’s…that’s not my life anymore.”

“Can’t let that happen. Can’t let excuses get in the way.” Mike hesitated, looked across the room at his son. Elizabeth twisted to follow his gaze where Sonny was talking to Carly. “I have a lot of regrets, Elizabeth. I made so many choices out of fear. I didn’t think I could be a good father, so I ran. Twice. And even when I showed back up, I wasn’t the kind of father my kids deserved. And now…I’m starting to forget my little girl.” Some of the mirth fell from his face. “So few of us remember her. And once I don’t—”

“I remember her,” Elizabeth said. She reached out and squeezed Mike’s hand. “I remember when Spencer was born. How hard she fought for him. Nikolas and Jax aren’t here to tell him that. Laura doesn’t know. I do. Sonny does. We’ll keep her alive for him.”

“You’re a good girl, Elizabeth. Always was. Don’t let Ruby get you down. You’ll be a great waitress yet.” He handed her a bottle of Rolling Rock. “Jason looks low on his drink. Why don’t you take him his order?”

Elizabeth’s throat clenched. Just that quickly, Mike had slipped away from her. Away from the evening. Didn’t remember that that she’d never worked at Luke’s. That she’d given up waitressing more than a decade ago—but she flashed him a smile, picked up her drink and the bottle. “Sure thing, Mike. I hope he still gives good tips. I’ve got my eye on some new shoes.”

“Flash him that pretty smile. You can’t go wrong.”

We got lost and we got found
Now we’re back on solid ground, yeah

Jason sat down at his mother’s table, wishing he had stopped at the bar to get another beer so he’d have something to do with his hands.

Nothing made him feel more awkward than a conversation with the woman who was the only mother he’d ever known. “I’m surprised to see you here tonight.”

“Oh.” Monica lifted a shoulder. “I wanted to be here for Mike. I’ve never changed the way I feel about Sonny and Carly, but they’re apart of your life. And Mike has always been good to me.” She cleared her throat. “How are you doing? We haven’t spoken much since—”

“I haven’t really talked to anyone,” Jason admitted. “I’ve tried to focus on finding out who did this more than…”

“How to pick up your life again.” Monica tilted her head. “It must have been a shock to come home, to find out that you had two sons. Especially Jake.” Monica looked at the bar where Elizabeth was sitting with Mike. “I wasn’t kind to Elizabeth through all of that. And after learning she’d lied about Drew—this whole town turned its back on her. I haven’t been as close to Jake as I would have liked.”

Jason furrowed his brow. Elizabeth had suggested things had been difficult after she’d kept the secret of Drew’s identity, but they hadn’t gotten into it.

They hadn’t spoken about much at all.

“Finding out Jake was alive was a miracle I didn’t—I don’t deserve.” Jason paused. “And Danny—yeah. We’re—it’s a lot.”

“Jake has been close to Drew. It—” Monica waited. “I don’t want to draw any comparisons because I don’t know how fair they are, but I wonder if it was anything like I felt after your accident. You were my son. The little boy I had raised into a man, but you didn’t know me. And you didn’t trust me. You turned to other people for support. To Sonny, even to Bobbie. They became your family.”

Jason clenched his fists at his side. “We all made decisions back then—”

“I don’t blame you. And that’s not why I brought it up. I just…I guess I wanted you to remember how you felt. Being told these people were your family when you didn’t know them.” Monica lifted her hands. “I just wanted to give you some advice that I wish I had listened to back then. I wish anything that Alan and I could have those months back. To do it again.”

“What could you have done differently?” Jason asked. “I’m not as angry as I used to be. I used to—Every thing used to be black and white to me. Right and wrong. I didn’t understand all the things in the middle. I didn’t understand how the Quartermaines could treat one another the way they do and still claim to love each other.”

“Oh, Jason—”

“I’m not entirely sure I get it now,” Jason admitted. “But I know hard it is to be a father. To make choices that you want to take back. You and Alan—even Edward. You all did the best you could.”

“I appreciate that.” Monica reached across, squeezed his hands. “But we could have all been more patient. That’s what I’m suggesting to you now. Jake doesn’t know you. And maybe there a lot of reasons for that that I don’t know about. He doesn’t know you. But he will. And if you’re lucky, if you’re patient, and you just keep chipping away, he’ll change his mind.”

“I know. I can believe that.” Jason squeezed her hands back. “Because I couldn’t have imagined being part of the Quartermaines twenty years ago. And today, I know you’re my mother. And I wish I had been able to let Alan—to let my father back into my life. To get to know Grandfather again. I wish we all could have given each other another chance.”

“Hey, I’m sorry to interrupt,” Elizabeth said with a hesitant smile. “But Mike…forgot who I was while he was talking to me, and he wanted me to bring you order.” She held out a bottle of beer to him. “And I just—I went with it to make sure he didn’t get upset.”

We took everything
All our times would bring

“Oh.” Monica sighed, looked at the bar. “I should go say hello to him. Elizabeth, it’s good to see you. How are the boys? Cameron is what, thirteen now?”

“Fourteen in a few weeks..” Elizabeth flashed a more natural smile as Jason accepted the beer from her and set it in front of him. “I really don’t understand how he’s going to be in high school next year. Aiden’s obsessed with Captain America, and Jake is going through art supplies almost faster than I can—” She broke off. “I mean, they’re fine.”

“I haven’t seen them in a few weeks. We should do something for Jake and Cam’s birthday next month.” Monica got to her feet. “I’ve been meaning to ask you if I could spend more time with Cam and Aiden. I know they’re not mine biologically, but—”

“Oh.” Elizabeth blinked. “Oh. That would be, um, great. It’s been hard—my grandmother—” She swallowed hard. “Since she passed away last summer.”

“I still expect to see Steve or Audrey around the corners at the hospital,” Monica said with a sigh. She turned to Jason. “You don’t remember Steve, but he was there from the beginning.”

“When the hospital opened,” Elizabeth said with a sad smile. “General Hospital was his dream. He’d be so happy with how you and Alan kept it moving forward.”

“And he’d be excited his Lizzie is carrying on the family tradition.” Monica touched her shoulder. “I remember you in the summers. You’d come to the hospital, trailing behind Steven and Sarah, completely bored by everything. You were always dragging markers and notepaper around.”

“General Hospital was always a safe place for me. And being a nurse has let me take care of my boys.” Elizabeth laced her fingers together. “But I should let you and Jason get back to your conversation—”

“No, no, I’m going to go talk to Mike. You stay here. I’m sure you two can think of something to talk about.” Monica flashed a smile down at Jason who just raised his brows at his mother. “After all, you’ve known each other your entire lives. Even if you don’t remember it, Jason.”

In this world of dangers

And at that, Monica left. Elizabeth flashed him an embarassed smile and started to slide away. “I see Bobbie over there, I’ll just—”

“No, no, not until you tell me what my mother meant.” He shoved the chair out with his leg. “We knew each other before my accident?”

“Oh. God. No. I mean, yes.” Elizabeth sat down, setting her martini glass down. “You’re older than me, Jason. You were at the hospital with your parents sometimes. And Steven used to hang out with you sometimes. And I followed him around because he was the only one who didn’t think I was insane. So I was someone’s bratty sister.”

“Okay.” Jason squinted. “Did your brother move? I haven’t seen him.”

Elizabeth winced. “No. He ended up—Heather framed him for something not long after you…He’s in Memphis. Serving a jail sentence for—” She sat back. “So he’s gone.”

He decided not to push her on Steven. “And so is Audrey. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“It’s…it is what it is. It’s been a bad couple of years.” Elizabeth exhaled slowly. “Jake. He’s the bright spot. His coming home was like a miracle I really didn’t deserve, you know? But I got it anyway. All of my boys. They’re the reason I get up in the morning.” She bit her lip. “We should do more about Jake. I feel bad that I haven’t—I did try to push him a little bit a few months ago. But I let other things get in the way.”

‘Cause when your heart is strong

“Yeah.” He eyed the empty ring finger. “I can see that.”

“Oh. Yeah.” She stared down at her finger. “He stood me up at the altar—but you knew that. And then he lied. About a thousand more times. I guess I deserve it.”

“Why?” he demanded, leaning forward.

You know you’re not alone

Elizabeth squinted at him. “You—I told you why. I mean, you know better than anyone—I lied. I lied a lot.” She huffed. “The last time I saw you, I was—”

“Telling me the truth.” Jason waved that away. “Why does that mean you deserve…” He couldn’t even say the name.

“I lied about Jake—” She stopped. “Drew. But I called him Jake back then. We all did. I told you. Nikolas told me who he was, but I didn’t say anything. Even after we knew little Jake was alive, I kept lying.”

Jason tilted his head. “Why? Because he was supposed to be me?”

“Oh.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Great. You, too. I would have—” She shook her head. “You weren’t here, so I guess I can’t—no. Jake—Drew and I were already—at least I thought we were. He always seems to forget that I was the only one who gave a damn about him when no one else did. Sonny and Sam hated him back then, did you know that? But I didn’t. I was in love with him. So yeah, I didn’t tell him who Nikolas said he was. Because I know how that story ends and I don’t get the happy ending.” She tossed back the rest of her martini.

In this world of strangers

Carly scowled as she stepped back out from the office and saw Jason sitting at a table with Elizabeth. Alone.

Not on her watch.

But before she could take more than a step, Sonny grabbed her elbow, swung her around, and twirled her into a dance. “Nope.”

“But—”

“Uh uh.”

“She’s going to—”

“No.”

Carly scowled. “Sam—”

“They’re adults, Carly. And if nothing else, looking at my father…” Sonny sighed, looked at the bar with Monica and Bobbie were laughing with Mike. “It reminds me we have to grab every scrap of happiness we have while we got it. I don’t know how long I’m going to know your face.”

“Sonny—” Carly looked at him, her dark eyes stricken. “You don’t know—”

“No, I don’t. But anything could happen. I could have another break down. Or I could end up like Mike. And I want to make sure that my family knows how much I love them. And how much I trust them to make their own decisions.”

“Fine.” Carly sighed and leaned into the dance, pressing her cheek against his. “But if she hurts him, I’m going to gut her like a fish.”

“Wouldn’t expect any less from you.”

Oh how the years go by

On the stage, Ned Ashton checked the strings of his guitar, getting ready for his last set of the night. It had been a lot of fun to resurrect Eddie Maine for the night, even though his advisors had told him playing for a reputed mobster’s private party wouldn’t bring him much good press.

“Hey, Eddie, can I have your autograph?”

He grinned and turned to find to former rival, almost wife, and partner in crime leaning against the stage. “Hey. You look like a pinup I once had.”

With a smirk, Alexis Davis tossed back her hair. “You wish. Hell, I wish. I used to be younger.”

Oh how the love brings tears to my eyes

“I wish Lulu had come,” Olivia Falconieri-Ashton said with a sad smile. “Since Maxie ended up staying home.”

“She wanted some time with Rocco and Charlotte.” Dante folded his arms and studied his grandfather at the bar. “You know, mostly I think you made the right choice keeping me away from Sonny.”

“And yet?” Olivia prompted.

“I wish I had known so I’d have more time with Mike. With my grandfather. I had an aunt I never knew. A lot of people in Sonny’s life that he talks about like family, and I guess—” Dante shrugged. “You just wonder about the road not taken. Who would I have been if you’d brought me to Sonny when I was Rocco’s age? If I had known Stone Cates. Courtney. Michael talks about his aunt, sometimes. So did Morgan.”

“Oh, sweetie—”

“Like I said—I get why you made that choice. I just…I wonder.” Dante hooked an arm around his mother’s shoulder. “But you and me did okay, didn’t we?”

“We did. But I learned a lesson. As much as I hate Julian Jerome, I never want to explain those choices again.” Olivia sighed. “So Leo gets to know his dad. And Charlotte gets to know Valentin. All you can do is learn from your past, kid. And hope you took away the right lessons.”

All through the changes the soul never dies

Michael twirled his mother away from Sonny as Ned took the stage again and began his final set. “I’m under strict instructions to keep you occupied.”

“What, did Sonny send up a smoke signal?” Carly muttered. “I’m not going to bother them. He doesn’t look irritated.” She squinted, trying to peak around Michael’s shoulder to get closer. If she could just hear their conversation—

“Mom. Why do you care?”

“What?” Carly snapped her attention back to her son. “What?”

“All my life, you’ve gone out your way to irritate Elizabeth. More than anyone else I’ve ever known. Hell, I remember when Sam had an affair with Dad, you forgave her faster.”

Carly scowled. “I didn’t forgive. I moved on.” She had also possibly repressed that memory.

“Jason was gone for five years. He came home to find out that he has two sons. That someone stole those years from him. He gets to figure this out for himself.” Michael twirled his mother so she faced away from the table where his uncle sat. “And Elizabeth has always been good to me. To Jason. So whatever wrong you think she did—”

“She didn’t—” Carly huffed, rolled her eyes. “She didn’t really do anything. It’s just—I broke him once. I broke him into a million little pieces, Robin ground those pieces into dust, and then Sonny shoved that dust off a cliff. I guess…I’m a little obsessed with making sure he’s all put back together.”

“He looks good to me, Mom. I think you can get off guard duty.”

“For now. But I’m keeping my eyes open.”

Falconieri House: Living Room

We fight, we laugh, we cry
As the years go by

Lulu Falconieri sighed as she switched off the television and picked up her phone to look at the background wallpaper. Dante had told her to change it to something happier, something that didn’t depress her.

But she didn’t want to forget.

It was a photograph from the Christmas Party, and it was the four of them. Bright. Shining. Happy. Planning a wonderful future with their amazing husbands, incredible children, and budding careers.

And they were best friends. Against all odds, they had become each other’s families. And with one decision, with one story Lulu couldn’t take back—

She had shattered that image.

And she needed to remember that. Decisions had consequences.

Maxie & Nathan’s Apartment: Living Room

And if we lose our way

Maxie Jones-West sighed and stared at her missed calls. Her mother had called her twice. Bobbie and her father once. And now her mother had called a third let, which Maxie had let go unanswered.

But this time, Felicia had left her a voicemail, and reluctantly, Maxie pressed play.

“Hey, my darling girl. I just wanted to let you know that your dad and I are going to lay off tonight. And tomorrow. I love you. And I want to do what’s right for you. So if you want to sit in your apartment and cry, do that. If you want me to come over and listen while you scream about how unfair this all is, I’ll do that, too. I love you. And you need to do this in your own time. So you send a smoke signal when you’re ready for us. Make sure you get some sleep, though. Because I’m your mother, and I’m allowed to do that. Nathan loved you, Maxie. And you don’t get over that in six weeks. I love you, baby.”

Maxie pressed her phone to her chest and tilted her head back, letting the tears fall. Oh, God. He was dead. Why did it always have to feel so goddamn fresh and new when she thought about it?

Would she ever get past it?

Any night or day

Elizabeth shoved her chair back, feeling irritated that she’d talked to Jason about any of this. “I’m sorry. You don’t—You didn’t come back from the dead to listen to me whine—”

Before she could get to her feet, he reached out to touch her elbow. “Hey. That’s not what you’re doing. I haven’t seen you in five years, Elizabeth. I mean to me, I guess it was more like six months and I guess sort of it was two years or something since he was here—”

“No, five years—” Elizabeth exhaled slowly. “No, I mean Drew was supposed to be you. But I think part of us all knew—he wasn’t. I kept telling myself he’d been through a lot. That I had put him through a lot, and you know, I always figured I’d finally do something to make you stop giving a damn—”

Well we’ll always be

“Hey—”

“I mean, God, Jason, how much did I hurt you, you know? All that crap with Lucky back when he came home. I accused you of attacking him—and then I—” She shook her head. “And we really don’t have to talk about what a disaster Ric was. I mean, I almost married him again four years ago, so what the hell do I know about learning my lesson, right? And then lying to you about Jake—”

“I don’t blame you for that.”

“Why not?” Elizabeth demanded. “Of course you do. And then when you wanted to Jake save Joss, I slapped you. Like you weren’t losing your son. And that’s just—Anyway. That’s all ancient history. I just wanted to say that I lied to you again that day in the jail. I knew you who you were. I just couldn’t admit that I had blown up my entire life for something that turned out not to be even real.”

“Okay.” Jason tilted his head. “I mean, I knew you were lying, Elizabeth. I can always tell. Except—” He exhaled slowly. “Except with Jake. I mean, I knew something was wrong. But I thought I was just—I was disappointed. I wanted him to be mine, so I guess I thought whatever I was getting from you—”

“We made a lot of mistakes, Jason.” Elizabeth played with the stem of her empty martini glass. “I just wish I knew how to stop making them. I keep trusting people to be honest with me, but I should know better. What right do I have to expect that? I’m a liar, too. Why am I always surprised when people lie to me?”

Where we should be

“Because you usually lie to protect other people,” Jason said gently. “Or to protect yourself from a worst truth.  You said he lied a thousand times. Why didn’t you go before?”

“Because—” Elizabeth closed her eyes. Felt a tear slide down her cheek.  “He stayed.”

Jason furrowed his brow. “Elizabeth—”

“People have a hard time staying,” she confessed in a voice so soft he had to lean forward to catch it. “There’s something wrong with me.  You know that. It’s hard to love me. I expect too much, maybe. And people leave. So…he stayed.”

“There’s nothing—” Jason shook his head, fiercely. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Why would you—”

“Don’t make me do this, Jason. Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to.”

I’m there for you

“What does that mean—”

“You didn’t stay.” Elizabeth took a deep breath. “You told me that being with me and the boys—that was all you wanted, but you couldn’t have it. And I believed you. I did. I thought it wasn’t me. It wasn’t Jake or Cam. It was how scary everything after Jake got kidnapped again. It hurt like hell, but I think part of me thought we’d get past it. I’d always found a way to convince you to give us a chance again. But you didn’t mean it.”

“I did—”

“Then why were Spinelli and Sam allowed to be in and out of your life? Kristina. Michael and Morgan. Carly. Brenda. You let all those people be part of your life, Jason. You went back to Sam. You married her. You made sure you and Sam could have children. But me? You left me. So don’t tell me there’s nothing wrong with me.”

She shoved herself to her feet and stalked away towards the terrace. After a beat, he followed.

And I know you’re there for me

Felicia jumped as she felt her cell phone vibrate, shaking her black clutch bag in her hand. With an apologetic smile to Mac, Bobbie, and Kevin, she pulled the phone out and gasped. “Maxie…she just—sent me a text.” Her eyes flooded with tears.

“She says that she loves us. That she knows we want to help. And that if it’s okay, maybe I could come over tomorrow and just watch television so she’s not alone.” She pressed the phone to her chest. “She’s reaching out. To me. Not to Nina. Or that idiot boss of hers. Me. Mac.”

Mac put his arm around her shoulders. Pressed his lips to his wife’s blonde hair. “She’ll be all right.”

“I want to find Elizabeth. To thank her for giving me that advice.” Felicia turned just in time to see Elizabeth rush out the terrace doors and Jason Morgan on her heels.

“This should be my cue to say something about how she could do better,” Mac said, “but considering her track record, he might be not be so bad.”

Bobbie snorted. “If only Robin were here for that. Did you get on tape, Kevin? I need witnesses.”

Oh how the years go by

“Thank you for coming tonight, Grandma,” Michael said he turned Monica around on the dance floor. “I know how hard this all is for you. With—”

“I do feel as though a part of me is betraying AJ by being here,” she murmured. “But he would want me to stand by you. And I want to be here for you. I know how hard it’s been for you these last few months. To bring a baby into the world with a woman you don’t trust. I can only hope good things for you.”

“My child will be loved from the moment it comes into this world,” Michael said. “Just like I was. I had a village to raise me. There are kids out there who don’t get one parent who gives a damn, I can’t get rid of the people who see me as theirs. That’s what I choose to think about. How lucky I was to have AJ. Jason. My mother. Sonny. And you and Grandfather. Aunt Tracy. Ned, even when he’s driving me insane. Dillon. Morgan. Dante. Kristina—I have an army behind me ready to love my child. We can make up for anything.”

“You will be the best of us all,” Monica said, hugging her grandson tightly. “I love you.”

Oh how the love brings tears to my eyes

“Thanks for this,” Mike told Sonny as his son sat at the bar. They watched as Ned broke down the stage, talking to his bandmates. “I don’t—I had some moments I think. I forgot—I forgot sometimes where I was.”

“It’s okay.”

Mike nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I know you mean that.” He looked around the room. “It’s okay because I can’t control it. You’d think it’d be simple. I’d mess something up, someone would correct me, and I would know it. I would know the truth. But that’s—that’s the part that’s going away. I’m going to keep messing up, and I’ll stop believing the truth.”

“Mike—”

“And one day, I won’t even be messing up. I’ll just be gone.” Mike laid his hands out on the bar. “Part of me is already gone, you know. I don’t know what to do. How to stop it. I can’t stop it. You can’t stop it, either. And I know that’s driving you insane. You hate not being able to control things.”

“Yeah.” Sonny cleared his throat. “I can’t stop it, Mike. Neither can you. And neither of us can take back the years or time we missed. But we got now. And we got as many moments as this world will give us, so we have to hold on to them.”

“Yeah.” Mike’s voice was rough. “I want to create as many memories for my grandkids as I can. I won’t be able to remember them but they need them. They need to know me before I was gone. I don’t want them to look back and wish they’d done more. I don’t want them to have my regrets, Sonny.”

“They won’t.” Sonny leaned across the bar, clasped his father’s hand in his. “They won’t. They already know you, they already love you. And we’re going to have more nights like this. Maybe not many. But we got time.”

“Yeah.” Mike’s eyes slid away. “Yeah, we got time.”

And they both knew they were lying. Because, yeah, Mike had time. But maybe he didn’t. Maybe he’d wake up tomorrow and be gone.

How the hell was Sonny supposed to do this?

All through the changes the soul never dies

Jason was already dragging off his suit jacket when he approached her standing on the terrace. She didn’t even flinch as he dropped the fabric over her shoulders.

“I’m sorry. I always make it about me. You’ve been through hell, Jason. And I’ve been the worst kind of friend.”

“Elizabeth—”

“I’m so happy you’re you. That you’re alive. It scares me how happy I am,” she admitted. “And I hate myself for not saying it sooner. For making every conversation about him. I always do that to you. I make it about what Lucky needs. What Ric needs. What Ewan needs. And now—of all people for me to throw in your face—you didn’t sign on to support me through my choices, Jason.” She sighed. “I guess—it’s mostly because I know why you walked away. I never put you first, either. I never made it about you. So what happened—that’s not just on you. That’s on me. We were never going to work. You just saw it first.”

He exhaled slowly, looked out over the skyline of Port Charles. “It was months before I knew how much time had passed. I woke up in the clinic, and I knew it was a while before I could fight off the drugs. I hate pain medication. I always have.”

“I remember. You used to refuse it after you were shot. I had to beg you that winter.”

“I hate losing time,” Jason continued. “After my accident, I had lost the first twenty-two years of my life. I didn’t want to lose any more. So I when I saw that newspaper on the ship back—when I realized it had been five years—” He dipped his head.

“So much of your life has been stolen from you, Jason,” Elizabeth murmured. “Unfair doesn’t seem strong enough.”

“I thought about everyone at home. What it would mean for it be five years. What had happened to Michael? To you? To Sam? Were you happy? Were you okay? And then I saw…I saw Sam with him. She was happy. And you had Jake. You were happy. I didn’t know he was—” Jason shook his head. “Maybe it was better before I came back.”

“No.” Elizabeth shook her head fiercely. “No. Don’t you dare ever say that. No one’s life was better because you were gone. These last five years, Jason? My God. Carly and I almost married Franco. Sam—she almost lost Danny to cancer. Michael has been through hell. I’ve been through hell. When Jake came home, he struggled with what happened. He’s still struggling, and I just—you would have had the words. I kept wishing for you. The old you. Because Drew wasn’t—he isn’t you.”

“Elizabeth—”

“You’ve been home for five minutes, and it’s like a fog has cleared. If you were still gone, I’d probably still be accepting and swallowing every lie—” She pressed her lips together. “You’re the only one who makes me think I do deserve something better. Because you’re the only one who gets so angry at me for destroying my own life.”

“Elizabeth—”

“You don’t even know half of the crap that Sonny and Carly went through. With AJ and Ava—God, if you’d been here for Morgan—” Tears spilled over her lashes. “We hurt without you, Jason. Not with you. I don’t care if you’re complicating Sam’s perfect life. Who the hell cares about her anyway? You matter to me. I want you to matter to Jake. And there’s Michael and Spinelli—”

“Okay.” He held up his hands, chagrined. “I’m sorry.” Jason managed a smile. “I forgot how you get when you’re mad.”

“Well, don’t mess with me then.” She jabbed a finger in his chest. “We’re going to find out who stole you from us, Jason. I have an opening in my schedule, and I’m not going to rest until I help you get to the truth.”

We fight, we laugh, we cry

She looked up at him for a long moment and then moved into to hug him tightly. “I’m so glad you’re you, and that you’re home. Don’t you ever forget how much we all love you.”

“I won’t.” He pressed his lips to the top of her head. “You deserve more than better, Elizabeth. Stop settling for anything else.”

“I’ll just have to start listening to you more.” She pulled away with a watery smile. “You’re always right, anyway.”

As the years go by

March 13, 2018

This entry is part 21 of 35 in the Bittersweet

Maybe there’s a God above
All I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
And it’s not a cry that you hear at night
It’s not somebody who’s seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah
– Hallelujah, Rufus Wainwright


Friday, September 6, 2002

Pier 52: Warehouse

Jason parked the SUV and looked at the man in the passenger seat. Johnny O’Brien, their warehouse manager and Sonny’s top enforcer at the moment, was checking the clip in his handgun.

“Is Richie in place?” Jason asked, squinting. “Did he say?”

“Yeah, he got there about ten minutes ago. Scoped out the place and found a spot to cover both exits. He’s ready.” Johnny hesitated. “Are we sure this is the way we want to handle it? Maybe it would be better if we just didn’t show up.”

Jason shook his head. “No. If someone is watching Carly, they know she came to me today. They know I want to know where she’s been. I’ve run around town for the last two weeks proving that I jump when she calls. If I don’t show up, they’ll be on to her.”

“So?” Johnny muttered. “You slap a guard on her idiot ass and move on—” When Jason scowled, Johnny shrugged. “Hey, it’s not like I wish her ill, Jase, but she put everyone in danger last year when she turned on Sonny. And no one’s really ever liked that much to begin with.”

“They want me out of the loop, Johnny. I need to know what we’re up against—”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. I’ll follow orders.” He shoved open the door. “I’ll take the back exit, you take the front.”

“Yeah.”

They split up. Jason tugged his gun from behind his back and held it low in front of him as he crept towards the entrance of the abandoned warehouse where Carly had been told to send him.

Why this place? Did they think he would go anywhere Carly asked? Jason shared Johnny’s doubts, and Benny had been skeptical that this would be worth the effort. But if they could just get their hands on one of the guys sent by Roscoe—maybe they could get somewhere.

This life was always risky, but Jason preferred it when the risk was legal, not mortal. Most of the time, the danger was getting arrested, or being on the wrong end of a police raid. Territory squabbles were minimal, particularly this far from New York City.

There was always someone lower in the ranks who wanted to make their bones by taking out someone closer to the top, but Sonny usually ran an effective organization—those kinds of men were weeded out before any real damage was done.

Every once in a while, though there was a Moreno or a Sorel who wanted their own piece and didn’t want to share. And Jason was tired of taking bullets for assholes who wanted power they couldn’t handle.

The door to the warehouse was hanging off its hinges, the larger garage door to the truck entrance was dilapidated and looked as if it hadn’t been opened for business in years.

Jason hesitated before opening the door. Even if Carly hadn’t told him it was a trap, his instincts would have been screaming it by now. Had they expected Carly to come clean?

But he pushed open the door, the hinges creaking in the cavernous open space. There were stacks of packing crates, cardboard boxes with papers spilling out of the sagging sides. The odor of mildew and mold seeped into his nostrils.

He made it no more than ten feet into the room before he saw a black boot sticking out from behind a pile of packing crates. The hair on the back of his neck stood up as he moved closer. He kicked the boot and raised his gun—

It was Richie, their best sniper. He was lying on his back, his arms and legs spread eagle across the cement floor. His eyes were wide open, staring at the ceiling. A small round bullet hole in his forehead. No blood on the floor around him, which meant he’d been placed here.

Damn it. Jason spun around at Johnny’s shout. At the sound of gunfire—

And then he felt the first bullet slam into his upper chest, the hot metal digging through muscles and tendons. Another in his shoulder. He grunted and fell back, getting off his own shot in the process. Another bullet in his leg.

And then he was on the cement ground, choking. A man walked towards him. Jason’s vision was beginning to blur—the first bullet must have sliced an artery because he couldn’t catch his breath.

He could see the dim outline of a gun as it pointed straight at his head. Jason closed his eyes. Elizabeth’s smile, her eyes flashed in front of his face.

Another shot echoed in the room, and Jason choked, struggling—a man’s weight slumped over him. “Jesus fucking Christ, Morgan—” Johnny’s voice faded as Jason couldn’t manage to stay awake.

The world dimmed and he closed his eyes.

Saturday, September 7, 2002

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Every hour that passed added another layer of uncertainty and terror. The clock struck six. Seven. Eight. Nine.

Courtney’s shift finished at ten, and AJ came to pick her up, but Courtney refused to leave. She was too worried about Elizabeth. So AJ called the babysitter with Michael and sat down to wait with them.

Because Jason hadn’t called. And neither he nor Sonny were picking up their phones.

By eleven and closing, Gia had joined them and the four of them sat around a table in the back, Courtney having put together a pot of coffee and served it.

Elizabeth’s mug was ice cold and untouched by midnight.

She called Alexis, finally, but Jason and Sonny’s lawyer hadn’t heard from them either. Jason had called her to cancel the meeting, but she knew nothing beyond that. Nothing she could share. Gia, who had started an internship in Alexis’s office the week before, could offer nothing else.

Jason and Sonny had not answered any phone calls in eight hours.

Elizabeth still refused to go to the warehouse or get her phone from Jake’s. She couldn’t. If she took any action that suggested something was wrong…then something was wrong.

And she knew that in Jason’s life, when something went wrong, and he was out of touch, it was never good. And for Sonny to be gone as well—

Around twelve-thirty, AJ shifted and sighed. He drew Courtney out of her seat and pulled her towards the entrance. “I’m going to go home and relieve the babysitter,” he murmured to Courtney. “Call me when you know something.”

“I can go…” But Courtney’s voice faded, and she looked at Elizabeth. “But I want to be here.” She looked at AJ. “You must be scared, too. I should stay with you—”

“I am,” AJ admitted. “But not as scared as she is. I can least admit that something is wrong. She’s not there yet.” He kissed her cheek. “She needs you more than I do right now.”

“What if something happened?” Courtney asked, her voice trembling. “What if he’s hurt? God, AJ. Gia and I pushed her towards him.”

“Hey.” He shook his head. “Let’s not think that way. Odds are that he got hurt, and Sonny’s being a dick and keeping it from everyone. He’ll get in touch when he can. Jason’s too stubborn for anything else—”

“He’s not Superman,” Courtney muttered, but she watched AJ leave and turned back to the table where Gia and Elizabeth still sat. Gia was attempting to study, to turn this into anything other than what Courtney knew this was.

Waiting for someone to deliver devastation.

Safe House: Living Room

Sonny rocked back on his heels as he waited for the doctor to emerge from the back room. At a table, Benny was restless, going through the same paperwork he’d been looking at for the last four hours. Sonny didn’t think he was even reading the words at this point.

Johnny was grimacing at the sling hanging over his left shoulder and attempting to drink a beer with his right, less dominant hand.

Jason had required surgery to repair a partially severed artery in his chest, and only Johnny’s quick first aid had kept Sonny’s partner from bleeding out as they transported him to the only safe house with a sterilized surgery in one of the bedrooms.

And still, it was touch and go.

Johnny had suggested maybe calling Elizabeth—Jason had asked for her in the car, his words slurring, but the request had been repeated several times.

Sonny knew that Elizabeth was waiting for Jason, that he was supposed to pick her up from Kelly’s. He had picked up his phone to call her more than once. Not to tell her Jason was hurt, but just that he couldn’t be in touch.

But something held him back. By now, Elizabeth must be worried. It was after midnight—the diner closed at eleven. Hell, she must be terrified. She’d called Sonny’s phone three times, twice in the last hour alone.

Sonny hadn’t answered any of those calls. He didn’t know if Jason would survive the bullet wound, and God, he did not want to be the one to tell her. She would be able to hear it in his voice. And she was probably with Gia or his sister. Maybe even Bobbie.

No one could know that Jason had been shot. They had gotten one of the shooters, but he’d died before Johnny could ask him any questions, and the gunfire had been called into the PCPD. They had barely been able to remove Richie and the other body from the warehouse before the cops had showed up.

And…this was how it was supposed to work. There were things Elizabeth couldn’t know. She’d only known the last time Jason had been shot because she found him. If Carly hadn’t been there—if Sonny hadn’t betrayed him—Jason would have recuperated in a safe house and Elizabeth would never have been brought into it.

Jason always told Elizabeth more than Sonny wanted her to know. No one had been supposed to know Jason was in town the year before—but Jason had gone straight to her, like a goddamn moth to the flame. Had put her in danger. Again.

No, it was better this way. Better to wait until he had something to tell her.

And Jason needed to be out of commission. If no word was had from him, if no one knew where he was—whoever had gone after Jason might step it up. Make more mistakes. Sonny had to know who was coming after him.

The doctor finally emerged, his eyes lined with exhaustion, a blood stained towel in his hand. “I’ve stabilized him for now.”

Sonny exhaled slowly as Johnny and Benny got to their feet. “For now?” he echoed.

“He lost of a lot of blood,” the doctor said with a mutter. “He should be in the hospital. I’ve sedated him, and I’ll leave the necessary medication—I’ll have to get a few things, but he’s going to be weak. Woozy for a while. If I can get my hands on blood for a transfusion—”

“But he’ll make it—”

“Barring infection, as long he doesn’t move around—” The doctor shrugged. “Sure. Lucky son of a bitch.”

“I’ll call Elizabeth,” Johnny interrupted, reaching for his phone. “She must be out of her mind—”

“No, no.” Sonny held out his hand. “Not yet.”

“Sonny—the warehouse shooting was called into the police. If the PCPD haven’t harassed her yet, they will—”

The doctor, seeing that he was no longer needed, returned to his patient as Johnny gave Sonny a questioning look. “Jason’s going to ask for her the minute he wakes up—”

“We’ll put him off. He’ll understand once he’s alert.” Sonny shook his head. “They wanted to eliminate him tonight, Johnny. We gotta do what we can to make sure Jason stays out of commission—”

“Boss, I agree, but I don’t see what that has to do with Elizabeth. We can make arrangements to bring her here in secrecy—” Benny began.

“What does Roscoe know right now?” Sonny demanded. “He knows that Richie is dead—” and he took a moment for that, because Richie had been working with them for years and had always been reliable. “Maybe he knows Jason was shot. He knows that the cops were called, but none of our guys were left on the scene.”

“Which means they think Jason’s alive, which the opposite of what they were trying to do,” Johnny argued. “So this is just bullshit—”

“But if Jason doesn’t turn up, if Elizabeth doesn’t disappear—” Benny sighed. “Roscoe knows how we operate. It’s how everyone operates. Jason’s injured enough to go MIA, he’s out of the way. I don’t like it, but I think we gotta hold off making any moves for at least twenty four hours.”

Sonny nodded. “Elizabeth knows how this works. She’ll be worried, but it’ll be temporary and Jason will be too out of to know any better. It’s just for a little while, okay?”

“You’ll be the one explaining it to Jason,” Johnny muttered. “But fine.”

Jake’s: Van Ess Street

Around one in the morning, Elizabeth gave up.

Jason was two hours late picking her up. Phone calls to Sonny and Jason were still not being returned, and Elizabeth was ready to give in.

Something had happened. Something bad.

They dropped Courtney off at her house first—Courtney was reluctant to leave, but Elizabeth told her that AJ needed her, too. He was at home with Michael, and they’d keep her in the loop.

Gia drove her to Jake’s first to get her phone—but there were police cars out front, and the bar was clearly closed for the night.

“Do you want me to go ask questions?” Gia asked as their car sat idling a few spaces back from the bar as the red and blue lights flashed, illuminating the stark white pallor of Elizabeth’s face. “Maybe it was just another bar fight.”

“No.” Elizabeth cleared her throat. She nodded at the men walking out. “That’s a crime scene unit—you see their jackets? They’re looking for something. And Jason is Jake’s only tenant right now.” She swallowed. “Go to the warehouse.”

Gia muttered something under her breath but pulled the car back out onto the street and drove the mile that separated the bar from the docks.

More police cars surrounded the piers, and the entrance to the Elm Street Pier was closed off entirely. There was another set of crime scene tech guys milling about in the parking lot, as if waiting for clearance. Here, Elizabeth saw more than that. She recognized the curly hair of the police commissioner, and the long dark hair of Detective Andy Capelli.

Her heart was pounding. Her mouth was dry. “They’re at the warehouse. They’re at Jake’s.”

“I’ll call my brother,” Gia said, offering for what must have been the tenth time that night. But this time, Elizabeth closed her eyes and nodded.

She waited long enough, and if anyone wanted to take her to task, she’d tell them to go to hell. She had a right to know what the hell was going on, and if no one wanted to tell her—

She’d find out for herself.

“Marcus, I’m with Elizabeth. We’re at the warehouse—” Gia scowled. “No, we’re in the car. Look—stop talking for five seconds and I’ll tell you why I’m calling—Okay. Okay.” She hung up, took a deep breath, and put her phone back in her bag.

“Marcus wants us to go back to our place and wait for him. He has questions for you.”

“Did—” Elizabeth licked her lips. Forced the words out. “Did he say where Jason was?”

“He refused. This doesn’t mean anything, Liz. You know that. My brother, the PCPD—they’re assholes in general. They could have Jason in a holding cell—”

“Without telling Alexis?”

“Maybe,” Gia said with some hesitation. “You know they can get desperate—”

“Gia, let’s just go home and wait for your brother.” Elizabeth closed her eyes and tried to breathe. In and out. In and out.

She could do this. She was strong. She had survived the worst life could throw at her. This was nothing. Piece of cake.

Palm Beach, Florida

Ruiz Compound: Hector Ruiz’s Study

Zander grimaced as he was shown into the inner sanctum of the Ruiz family’s seat of power. It was a hot, muggy night, and even the open terraced villa that Hector had constructed looking over the ocean didn’t provide any relief from the miserable, heavy humidity.

It was after one in the morning, and he’d been pulled from a comfortable bed with a sexy woman in order to answer the summons of Hector Ruiz.

Inside the study, Hector sat behind his desk, a man leaning toward his late sixties with olive skin, salt and pepper hair slicked back, and mean dark eyes.

He sat across from Luis Alcazar, each with a tumbler of liquor and a cigar in hand as if it wasn’t one-thirty in the fucking morning.

Assholes.

“Smith. You made good time.” Ruiz gestured at him with his cigar. “Luis has some news for us.”

“News, and some questions.” Neither men rose nor indicated that Zander would be taking a seat or offered his own drink or cigar. This was obviously not a social call.

“There was a shooting tonight on Pier 52,” Luis said.

Zander hesitated. “Your ambush happened?”

“That’s what I want to know,” Luis murmured. He shifted to face Zander more directly. “You heard that Carly Corinthos’ death had been exaggerated slightly?”

“She was your plan?” Zander asked with raised brows. “You used her to lure Jason into an ambush?”

“I had hoped to turn her more forcefully,” Luis admitted. “I had…hopes she could be twisted entirely. She’s known for her rash decisions. Her anger—” He sighed. “But I have reasons to believe it did not go as I had intended.”

“Well, what did happen?” And why the fuck had he been dragged from his bed for this?

“Gunfire was reported. Blood was found,” Luis continued. “One of Roscoe’s men was shot, the other escaped. He seemed convinced that Jason had been mortally injured—he saw a shot to the chest. But no one has been admitted to the hospital. Does Corinthos have off site medical assistance for a serious injury like this?”

“Probably,” Zander admitted. “He might also be licking his wounds with a shot to the arm.”

“If he’s not dead, we gotta go again,” Ruiz began, but Zander shook his head. “Why not? You said Jason had to be eliminated—”

“If he took a shot to the chest, he’s going to go under. The last thing Sonny needs is an actual injury on his hands. The cops will crawl all over Jason. Blood being found doesn’t mean much. It could be from anything. No telling they can even prove who it belongs to.” Zander shrugged. “You wait a few days, Jason doesn’t surface, then he’s badly injured—”

“But he’s not eliminated—”

“You want to take out Sonny Corinthos, don’t you?” Zander demanded. “Here’s your chance. Jason’s out of commission. You get Nico or Roscoe to take the hit, Sonny will go after them. Your hands will be clean. You don’t want the territory, so what do you care if Nico and Roscoe take the fall. Nico doesn’t even know your name, and Roscoe will be probably be eliminated before he has a chance to say your name. He’ll go out in a blaze of glory before they take him alive.”

“I like this kid,” Hector said with a grin. “He thinks through all the angles. Why the hell did Corinthos let him go?”

“Because I think for myself, and I put myself first.” Zander shrugged. “Corinthos still thinks he’s Vito Corleone.”

Luis tipped his head. “What makes you think I don’t want the territory?” he asked coolly.

“Because by now you know that Nico and Roscoe are morons which is why they’ve never been able to step up when someone else was available. There’s a reason they stayed beneath Moreno and Sorel. Why they’re basically third string.”

“So?”

“If you wanted the territory, you wouldn’t be a silent partner. You wouldn’t let Roscoe and Nico take the lead. You wouldn’t have sent me away to keep me under the radar. You wouldn’t have faked Sonny Corinthos’s ex-wife’s death. You don’t want the territory. You want to destroy the man.”

“He’s got you there, my old friend.” Hector raised bushy brows at Luis. “I’ve never liked Corinthos, but what do you have against him?”

“That is my concern. After he is gone, you can do what you like with Morgan.” Luis blew out a stream of thin smoke out from his lips. “Because you’re right. I want to eliminate the man. Nothing else matters.”

Elizabeth & Gia’s Apartment: Living Room

It was nearly two in the morning by the time Gia let her exhausted brother through the front door of their apartment.

Elizabeth was curled on the sofa, staring at their land line. Begging silently for it to ring. For someone to make this nightmare go away.

Taggert looked at the two of them, at Elizabeth sitting, at Gia standing in front of him, and his shoulders slumped. “Hell, you don’t know anything more than me, do you?”

“Do you know why the police were at Jake’s and the warehouse?” Elizabeth asked listlessly. “Because that’s more than I know.”

Taggert sighed. “We got reports of gunfire at an old warehouse near Pier 52. It’s one of Anthony Moreno’s old holding companies. It’s been wasting away for three years and it looks like a pile of crap. When we got there, we found blood on the ground, some places where someone had clearly been laying—and spent casings from bullets that match the type of gun Jason Morgan has registered in his name.”

“But no one was there,” Gia said slowly.

“No.” Taggert hesitated. “But we also can’t find Morgan. We’re trying to get his phone records. We’re executing search warrants. Sonny Corinthos is MIA. Elizabeth, listen—”

“How much blood?” she asked softly. “Because you know, it’s a warehouse. People get hurt.”

“We found some blood upstairs—a lot.” He paused. “And some…brain matter. We’re having it tested, but the preliminary blood type did not come back to Morgan.”

She closed her eyes, exhaled slowly. “Okay.”

“You haven’t heard from him?”

“The last time I saw Jason was when he dropped me off for work around eleven. I was working from twelve until closing.” Elizabeth rubbed her eyes, trying to get her brain to think. To focus. “He was supposed to do some paperwork at the warehouse, and then meet with AJ and some lawyers about Carly and Michael.”

“He was supposed to have that meeting at six, but AJ said it got canceled about five—at least that’s when his lawyer called AJ,” Gia volunteered. “And that’s the last anyone has heard from him.”

“My phone is at Jake’s,” Elizabeth said. “So if he called me, I wouldn’t know. He—” She swallowed hard. “He doesn’t call the land line at Kelly’s. Or at least he didn’t today.”

“Okay.” Taggert nodded. “Okay.” He waited a moment. “If you hear from him, would you tell me?” His tone was gentle. Compassionate. So at odds with the way he usually spoke—God, if he thought Jason was dead…

“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “If I can…I will.”

“I appreciate that.” He touched her shoulder gently. “Okay.”

Gia showed him out and closed the door behind him. “You were pretty cooperative,” she murmured.

“Two hours—” She looked at the clock on the wall. “Three hours since Jason was supposed to pick me up. Jason wouldn’t let me worry like this. Maybe once he would have left town and not told me. It was different before. We’re different now.”

She thought they were different.

“And what I told Taggert? It’s nothing that AJ and Courtney probably wouldn’t tell him. No state secrets.” Her lips twisted. “And if Sonny didn’t want me to talk to the cops, then maybe he should have called me.”

“You don’t think something happened to Sonny?” Gia asked with raised eyebrows.

“That’s not how this works. Jason went somewhere tonight. Something went wrong. And Sonny is mopping it up. He’s keeping me out of the loop.”

Her roommate exhaled slowly. “That’s cold—”

“That’s Sonny.” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “If he doesn’t come to see me tomorrow…then I’ll start to worry. For now…I just have to keep my cool. This is the life. I love Jason. I’m in this. I just…” She let her legs fall to the ground. “I thought he might be coming to notify me that they had Jason’s body.”

“But they don’t have any bodies.”

“Which means the warehouse was cleaned up. There was time for that. So until someone tells me differently, Jason is somewhere where he can’t contact me, and Sonny isn’t getting in touch.”

“Okay.”

Elizabeth rose to her feet. “I’m going to try to get some sleep.”

Safe House: Bedroom

Between Benny, the doctor, and Sonny, they managed to transfer Jason to a bedroom with an IV. Jason was pale, sweating, like a furnace to the touch—an infection was already setting in.

“Elizabeth,” Jason murmured, stirring slightly. His eyes were slits, just a mixture of blue and red underneath the pale lids. “Did you…”

“Hey, she’s fine. I’ve got it handled,” Sonny murmured, eyeing Johnny with a warning glance. “You better not make her cry for you, man.”

“Tell her…” Jason exhaled slowly, his head lolling to one side, his voice fading in and out. “No soup.”

“No soup?” Johnny repeated, but Sonny shook his head.

“Got it. I’ll let her know.” He nodded to the doctor, and then exited the room with Benny and Johnny. “What’s going on back home?” he asked once they returned to the living room.

“Cops are all over the warehouse,” Benny said. “And they’ve closed Jake’s as a crime scene, so they suspect Jason is involved. Our guy at the Brownstone says Taggert went inside briefly, then left. No guarantee he talked to Miss Webber, but—”

“Odds are,” Sonny murmured. “We go talk to her now, the cops will know. Taggert is too close to Elizabeth. He knows her movements. We bring her here and it’s nothing but problems—”

“That doesn’t mean we don’t tell her,” Johnny hissed.

“We need to let things cool down,” Sonny said with a shake of his head. “She can’t be involved. Jason wouldn’t want her in the middle with the cops. Hey, Elizabeth knows how this works.”

“This is bullshit,” Johnny muttered. But he had his orders, so he swallowed and looked away.

Sonny dismissed them both as he returned to Jason’s room. “Hey, I’m going back to Port Charles,” he murmured, perching on the edge of the double bed. “The doc and Johnny are going to hang out here. Take care of you.”

“Elizabeth,” Jason managed. “Bringing her?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna bring her when I come back. She’ll be glad to see you.” Sonny rose and met the doctor at the door. He hesitated, waiting for Jason to slip back into unconscious. “You’ll do what I told you?”

“Keep him sedated on pain meds for a few days?” the doctor replied in a low voice. “He hates them—”

“He’s too delirious to know better. I’ll be in touch.”

Sonny intended to keep his promise — he would try to stay away until it was time for Elizabeth to be told. He would bring her here just as soon as it was safe. He knew Jason wanted her to know he was okay, but Elizabeth was stronger than Jason gave her credit for.

As soon as Roscoe made his move, as soon as Sonny knew who the hell was coming for him—well then, this would all be over.

March 11, 2018

Timeline

In the late winter of 2018, Elizabeth overheard Sam telling Jason she was still in love with him while she was married to Drew. They literally never did anything with this, so I don’t know why Becky was in that scene.

Inspiration

I, uh, wanted to do something with it. It’s written in script form.


Banner Here


INT. METRO COURT – RESTAURANT – BAR – NIGHT

Elizabeth steps off the elevator and finds Carly sitting at the bar, sipping a martini. She twists her diamond engagement ring on her finger. Nervous.

She approaches.

ELIZABETH: Hey. Carly, do you have a minute?

Carly looks at her. Suspicious. Curious. She nods. Tips her head toward the bar stool next to her.

CARLY: I hear you had another aborted wedding.

ELIZABETH: (sighs) Yeah. The, ah, earthquake, or whatever it was, you know—

CARLY: Mmm…that’s not the way Mama tells it. She had the boys back at the house before it even hit.

ELIZABETH: Let’s not…that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.

CARLY: Hey, if you don’t care that you got stood up at your wedding, then why should I? I guess you should just be lucky Franco only humiliated you by not showing up. He’s not really good at weddings.

ELIZABETH: Okay, this was a bad idea.

CARLY: (with a smirk) No. Sorry. I can’t resist. It’s my fault anyone even takes that psycho seriously anyway. I had my own year of temporary insanity. I hope yours ends soon. What can I do for you?

ELIZABETH: Look. It’s not that I want to be involved. I don’t. I mean, I do. Part of me really wants to just…do this myself because—anyway, I don’t think I should get involved.

CARLY: You’re babbling. This should be good.

ELIZABETH: What I did to Drew was unforgivable. It doesn’t matter that he wasn’t actually Jason. I thought he was. I was told he was. And I lied to him. I promised him I would never lie to him again.

CARLY: (slowly) Okay. So, don’t.

ELIZABETH: I know something that…he should know. He has a right to know. But I’m afraid if I tell him…I’m afraid that he won’t believe me. Or that it will just…look like I’m trying to get revenge on Sam, and I don’t…I don’t want that.

CARLY: Of course you do. (leans forward) You want me to do the dirty work, babe, let’s at least be honest about what we’re talking about, okay? You’ve never liked Sam.

ELIZABETH: And you only liked her because it kept Jason away from me, so let’s go ahead and be honest, Carly. Your enthusiasm for Sam and Jason only started after they broke up. Until then, you hated her, too.

CARLY: Why the hell would I care about you and Jason?

ELIZABETH: I don’t know, Carly. Are we really going to go back twenty years and talk about why you’ve always hated me?

CARLY: I don’t hate you.

ELIZABETH: You did everything you could to undermine my relationship with Jason. Even when we were just friends. You risked his life and safety to get him out of my studio when he was hurt—

CARLY: (sniffs) That was a long time ago.

ELIZABETH: Every time he was with me, you called him—

CARLY: And he came running.

ELIZABETH: You pushed him towards Courtney, and we both know that was a mistake—

CARLY: She was better for him.

ELIZABETH: And you rushed right away to tell him your version of Jake’s paternity. Because you were so excited that that he wasn’t going to be tied to me.

CARLY:  Hey, I didn’t tell you to confirm that—

ELIZABETH: I’m just saying, Carly, that you have never been a fan of me being in Jason’s life. Why do you care if Jason goes back to Sam? Didn’t you give a damn about Drew? You were the one that pushed him towards Sam when we found out the truth. Even before you knew I was lying.

CARLY: (pauses) Listen. Okay. Maybe there’s a point to that. I don’t know. I guess I get you’re still irritated Jason went back to Sam after claiming to love you—

ELIZABETH: Carly, you have no idea about my issues with Sam. I doubt Jason told you what she did to Jake, what she did to both my boys, so let’s just knock it off—

CARLY: What? Destroyed your marriage with the affair with Lucky? (snorts) Please. That entire relationship was doomed, and you know it.

ELIZABETH: She stood by while that psycho kidnapped Jake. She knew where he was. Refused to tell us. Refused to let us go on her show. Came to tell me that my son was probably dead. She hired men to hold guns on us—she’s the reason Jason spent most of the summer in jail that year—

CARLY: Wait. (holds up a hand) Wait. Sam helped someone kidnap Jason’s kid? (pause) Jason knows that?

ELIZABETH: Look, it was a decade ago. God. More than that now. He made his choice. We have to live with it. And besides, it’s not like I haven’t had my opportunities to get back at her. I’ve taken them, you know? I did what I could to torpedo her relationship with Lucky, not that it worked. And—

CARLY: Lied about Drew.

ELIZABETH: Part of me wants to cause trouble for her. She’s always been a hypocrite, always pretended she’s better than me. And the only reason I put up with her is because of Jason. And now Jake and Danny. So, this thing I know—this thing I heard her say to Jason—Drew should know it. I just don’t want to be the one to tell him.

CARLY: You’d like to keep your hands clean.

ELIZABETH: I also don’t know if he’d believe me.

CARLY: So you want me to do it for you.

ELIZABETH: (hesitates) Yes.

CARLY: Like a hired assassin.

ELIZABETH: Carly.

CARLY: You know, Sonny keeps telling me not to meddle. Jason hates me getting involved. I’ve been busy with Michael, and Sonny and his dad. I’m not sure this is something I should get involved with.

ELIZABETH: Okay, fine. If you really don’t know what to know what I know, I can respect that.

She waits.

CARLY: Damn it. What do you know?

ELIZABETH: That Jason and Sam were together the night of the earthquake. That Sam told Jason she’s still in love with him. And there was something about New Year’s she hasn’t told Drew yet. I don’t know. I didn’t hear that part as well.

CARLY: Let me get you a drink.

She signals the bartender.

CARLY: (continues) You know, I guess you’ve really moved on from Jason if you’re trying to patch things up with him and Sam. (smirks) You do realize that’s the natural ending for this?

ELIZABETH: I don’t, actually. Jason goes back to Sam for whatever reason, but they never last, Carly. Or haven’t you noticed that? I don’t know why he goes back, but she drives him away. Every time. She lies, she cheats, she schemes. She cons him. She’s a lot like you.

She sips the martini the bartender hands her.

ELIZABETH: She thinks Jason should be a certain way, and then she punishes him when he’s not.

CARLY; What the hell—

ELIZABETH: I’m not any better, so don’t get pissed. We all do that. Jason has surrounded himself with takers all his life, Carly. You, me, Sam. Sonny. We all love him, but we take from him, too. Since he’s been home, you’ve been shoving Sam in his face, Sam is shoving Drew in his face, and God knows, I’ve been shoving Franco in his face, which makes me the worst of all.

CARLY: Elizabeth—

ELIZABETH: I’m not taking from Jason anymore.  I saw his face yesterday at the hospital when I tried to thank him for saving Franco’s life. I tried to make him see he’s not that person anymore, and then, you know, I stepped outside of myself. I could hear myself trying to justify my choices to Jason. Trying to get Jason to accept them.

CARLY: Why does that matter?

ELIZABETH: Because Jason’s always right. (sips martini) He was right about Lucky. Right about Ric. Right about Ewan. He’s always been right about the men I let into my life.

CARLY: You know you deserve better than Franco, Elizabeth. Tell me you know that.

ELIZABETH: Do I?

She finishes her martini and drops a twenty on the bar.

ELIZABETH: Look, tell Drew or don’t. I’m just—I can’t be the only one who knows this. I’m tired of keeping secrets.

CARLY: Hey. Listen. About Franco. You think no one else gets it, but I do. I get how he can make you think he’s the only one who understands you. How he can isolate you from the rest of your world because he’s the only one you can turn to. The problem is that he builds his world around you. He puts you on a shelf. He builds this idea of who you are. And then when you disappoint him—because you will—he will blame you. And then he’ll destroy you.

ELIZABETH: Carly.

CARLY: You might not think there’s anything left to destroy, but he’s not going to come for you. He’s going to come for what you love best. He did that to me. He humiliated me, sure. But he destroyed Michael. He went after my child. Tell me you’re one hundred percent positive it’s not the same for you. That it can’t happen to you.

Elizabeth is silent for a long time.

ELIZABETH: I’ll see you around, Carly. Thanks for the drink.

March 6, 2018

This entry is part 20 of 35 in the Bittersweet

Through this world I’ve stumbled
So many times betrayed,
Trying to find an honest word,
To find the truth enslaved,
Oh you speak to me in riddles and
You speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath,
Your words keep me alive

Possession, Sarah McLachlan


Friday, September 6, 2002

Jake’s: Jason’s Room

Elizabeth squinted at her textbook. “What made me think I wanted to major in business again?”

“You thought you should know what you were doing with Kelly’s.” Jason dropped a kiss on top of her head as he set coffee down in front of her. “Sorry—it’s from down the street.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Maybe Jake will let us have a hot plate or a coffee machine in here. You should look into it—”

“Maybe.” Jason sat across from her at the small table currently covered with textbooks, folders, and notebooks. “You don’t like coffee enough to worry about it.”

“You don’t have to like something to appreciate its benefits.” Elizabeth sipped the glorious caffeine. “After January, I won’t need it as much. I won’t have to schedule my shifts around my class schedule, and I think one of the benefits of being manager is I shouldn’t have to work opening. No need for coffee when you’re not dragging your ass out of bed at four-thirty.”

She hesitated a moment before asking, “Are you and AJ still meeting with your attorneys today?”

“Yeah.” Jason rubbed his temple with his thumb. “Yeah. Carly…should be served on Monday. Once I surrender guardianship to AJ…I’m out of it. She won’t have an excuse not to tell me.” He paused. “You still don’t like this idea.”

“Anything that gives Carly more of a reason to be angry with you is not my first choice, no. And you lose your leverage. As long as you control Michael’s custody, Carly has to pay attention to you. You give it to AJ…” Elizabeth shrugged. Picked up her highlighter.

“I know it’s risky. I know it might make Carly…go crazy. But it also might make her angry enough to let something slip. We have to change the situation.”

“I know, I know.” She bit her lip. “I just…I don’t want you to get hurt.”

He lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “I’ve survived Carly’s plans before.”

She sighed but said nothing more on the subject. Jason still had his blinders on where Carly was concerned. Carly had only been able to inflict emotional damage on Jason because Jason had never been the direct target, and he wasn’t taking that into account. But she had already voiced her worries and concerned. Jason had considered them but had ultimately decided it was worth the risk.

So, she managed a smile for him. “You have to go to the warehouse today?”

“Yeah, September is the end of the fiscal year, so Benny wants me to look at the books for the warehouse.” Jason eyed her. “You want me to look at Kelly’s records, too?”

“No,” Elizabeth muttered. “I’m smart. I can do it.” She wrinkled her nose. “Maybe you could double check them or something.”

When he just shrugged, she set her highlighter down. “What?”

“You don’t like managing Kelly’s,” Jason said after a moment. “And you hate your business classes.”

“So why do I bother with either?” Elizabeth asked her brows raised. “I needed something to do every day after I called off the wedding. I had really lost touch with my art, and I didn’t have anything else. I was afraid if I didn’t fill every hour of my day with something—I might be tempted to drift back.” She shrugged. “Bobbie asked me to take over Kelly’s. And Gia thought it might be fun to go back to school together. I’m not sorry I did it. And I’m excited to graduate. To finish it. And I know I’ve done a good job at Kelly’s.”

“Okay.”

“But you’re right. It’s not really what I want to do. I was gonna talk to Bobbie about it…about maybe training Courtney or someone else so I could start focusing on art.” She bit her lip. “And then Carly came home.”

“Yeah.” He scratched his forehead. “Well, that…I don’t know what’s going to happen with that. But you should tell Bobbie. You know she wouldn’t want you to put your life on hold for her.”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth put the cap on her highlighter and closed her economics book. “Well, that’s a conversation for another day.”

Kelly’s: Alley

Jason followed Elizabeth to the back door, but before she opened it, he touched her elbow. “Hey…about this morning—”

Elizabeth turned back to him with a quizzical smile. “What? Kelly’s?”

“No.” He hesitated. “You…said we should ask Jake about…a hot plate or something.” Jason shifted, unsure why he felt nervous. He knew he wanted to make some changes, grateful that he and Elizabeth were on the same page after last week.

“Oh. I was just joking—”

“Yeah, but it made me think…” He took her hand in his. “It might be nice to have…good coffee for a change. And not always order out.”

“What, can you cook?” Elizabeth asked with a grin. “Because I can make a mean bowl of soup on the hot plate at my studio…” She poked him in the chest lightly with her free hand. “I bet Sonny taught you, didn’t he?”

“Yeah.” He grabbed her other hand, and then held both of them behind her back as he kissed her. She laughed against his lips as he backed her against the brick wall of Kelly’s back alley, deepening the kiss.

“What was that for?” she asked, her breath shallow as Jason pulled back.

“Just wanted to.” Jason slid a tendril of hair behind her ear. “What I was thinking is maybe we should find a place. With a kitchen.”

“You mean…live together?” Elizabeth asked. She bit her lip but smiled. “You could always move into our place. I bet Gia—”

“Yeah, I want live downstairs from Taggert,” Jason replied with a grin. “Elizabeth—”

“No, I think—” She hesitated. “I like it. Let’s talk about it. You’re coming by after you and AJ meet with the lawyers, right?”

“Yeah.” Though he shared her concerns that this wasn’t the best way forward—no one had had a better idea when they’d talked about it earlier that week. And he still had an itch between his shoulders at the thought of going to AJ with problems and working together to solve them.

He wondered if that was what was to really have a brother. A person you didn’t like one hundred percent of the time, respected sometimes, wanted to slap upside the head for being an idiot most of the time, and yet…turned to for help when you needed it.

“Well, you owe me a rain check on driving…” She pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth. “So, I’ll take it tonight, and we’ll talk it over…but…” Elizabeth licked her lips. “I like it. We already spend all our time together anyway. Might be nice not to pay rent on a place where I barely live anymore.”

He laughed, kissed her again. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Mmm, I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Kelly’s: Courtyard

Elizabeth grimaced as she saw Carly sitting at a table in her section. That’s what she got for trading the opening shift with Penny.

“Carly,” she said with a wary smile, digging a notebook out of her pocket. “What’s—” And then she looked at the blonde for the first time since their encounter the Sunday after she’d blown up all their lives.

Carly looked like shit. Her eyes were red, her makeup nonexistent, her hair drawn back into a ponytail—Elizabeth wasn’t entire sure she’d seen the woman not look perfectly put together.

“Tell me about the custody problems Jason had,” she said softly, her fingers clutching the empty water glass like a lifeline. “Why did he agree to give AJ custody?”

Elizabeth sighed, and then sank down into a chair across from her. “Carly, you should talk to Jason about this—”

“He’s so angry with me,” Carly murmured. Not meeting her eyes. Her red nails were chipped. “I’ve never seen him so angry. Not even when I slept with Sonny. When I went to the Quartermaines. I see him now, and it’s that look—it’s not even hurt. It’s just…anger.”

“Okay.” Elizabeth set her order pad and pencil on the table. “Jason couldn’t get back for almost a week. By that time, the Quartermaines had already started circling Bobbie. Not AJ—it’s important that you know that. AJ told me, and he told his family, that he would not go after Michael’s custody right away.”

Carly raised her eyes. “What? Why? Wouldn’t—Jason wasn’t there—”

“To disrupt Michael’s life in that way when he was already grieving you,” Elizabeth said slowly, “was something AJ didn’t want to do. I’m not going to pretend it was his conscience entirely making that decision. He had an attorney advising him to wait as well. To go after Michael before his legal guardian could take stock of the situation—it wouldn’t reflect well. So, yeah, AJ waited.”

“It wasn’t…” Carly closed her eyes. “You said Mama grieved.”

“She went to the PCPD every day for a week. The Coast Guard wouldn’t search after the first few days. The currents were too strong, they told us. But Bobbie convinced Mac to keep looking. And Sonny offered money if they wanted to do private searches. But…. based on what we knew about the location of the accident—it’s where Brenda’s car went into the lake.”

“I—” Carly cleared her throat. “I remember. I think they said it would be impossible. With—with how deep the lake is there.”

“Her car would have been swept out towards the St. Lawrence.” Elizabeth rolled the pencil between her fingers. “You know how Bobbie gets. She started to throw herself into the details. Into dealing with your estate. Into the memorial service. Anything she could do to occupy her brain. Lucas and I took care of Michael the first week because she wouldn’t sit down long enough. If she did—she wouldn’t be able to breathe.”

Carly nodded. “Okay. Then what happened?”

If Carly wanted a blow by blow—if this would help—Elizabeth just shrugged. “Jason came home. And then your will was read. Alexis told him his chances in court were just…awful. He was probably not going to win.”

“Why?” Carly demanded, her eyes fierce now. “That’s stupid. AJ gave up his rights. So, it shouldn’t have mattered—”

“And that’s how Jason saw it at first, too. AJ wasn’t in the picture for him. He had this promise to you, and he wasn’t convinced AJ was good for Michael.” Elizabeth bit her lip. “But it wasn’t that simple, Carly. AJ didn’t have his rights taken by the court. He surrendered them voluntarily.” Her lips twisted. “Or so the court is concerned. Jason is Michael’s uncle, but he was also the reason AJ wasn’t in Michael’s life from birth. His lie was part of it. And Jason actively worked to keep them apart.”

Carly huffed and sat back. “So, the court would have thrown the book at him for it,” she muttered. “That’s fucking stupid.”

“Maybe. But that’s how the court would have seen it, Carly. And if Jason had a prayer of winning, he’d have to drag Michael to therapists. He’d have to talk to lawyers and judges and counselors. He’d already lost you, and to do that to him, and not be guaranteed anything—do you have any idea how much that broke his heart?”

“Maybe,” Carly murmured. “Then he should have taken Michael and left—” Her eyes burned. “He wouldn’t leave you.”

“I was not a factor in this, Carly,” Elizabeth retorted. “We weren’t even dating at the point most of this was happening. The truth of it is, Carly, AJ is not the villain you think he is—”

“He killed my baby!”

Elizabeth sat back. Waited a moment. “I won’t pretend I understand that pain, Carly. I don’t. I know what it is to lose someone you love, but I can’t imagine it holds a candle to the loss of a child.”

A tear slid down Carly’s cheek. “It was his fault. It is. He pushed me…” Her voice faded, and she looked away. “I wanted him dead. But Sonny wouldn’t let me. So, I had to settle for taking Michael away. Keeping him safe.”

“And punishing AJ for it forever.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Carly said, lifting her chin defiantly. “But, yes. Why not?”

“Because AJ didn’t push you—”

You weren’t there—”

“But other people were,” Elizabeth said gently. “And no one else tells the story that way. I get it, Carly. I get why you blame him. You have to blame him. It has to be his fault completely. Because it’s the only way you can get past it. But it doesn’t change the fact that he didn’t push you.”

“You don’t understand—” Carly shoved to her feet. “It is his fault. And now he has my little boy—”

“He’s been sober a year, Carly, but Jason was worried. He signed an agreement that kept him in control. AJ only saw Michael when Jason said it was okay. They talked to therapists. AJ and Michael went to a counselor. They started with supervised visits. Last week? It was the first full week after three entire months. Jason did everything he could to protect Michael, and AJ agreed every step of the way to let Jason keep that control. Because Michael came first for both of them.” Elizabeth pushed to her feet. “Can you say that for yourself?”

“Excuse me?” Carly demanded.

“Have you ever put anyone but yourself first?”

“How dare you—”

“Were you putting Michael first when you slept with Sonny and ruined his family at the Quartermaines? When you forced AJ to give up his rights in the first place? When you ran away for five months?” Elizabeth retorted. “When you came home and refused to tell anyone what the hell was going on? Did you put Michael first when you tried to seduce Jason last week?”

“Oh, that’s what this is about.” Carly flipped her hair over her shoulder and that arrogant light was back in her eyes. “You’re just mad because I tempted your boyfriend. You worried?”

“Not in the slightest, Carly.  If Jason wanted you, he’d have you. And you know that. I am not the reason you don’t have Jason.” Elizabeth jabbed a finger at her. “That’s on you. You destroyed any chance you ever had with Jason, and you hate me because I’m the one he loves. That’s not my fault. None of this is my fault.”

“I don’t even know why I bothered to ask you anything—”

“Because you know I don’t give a shit about you enough to lie.”

Elizabeth’s words stopped Carly as she started to storm out of the courtyard. “What?” Carly asked, whirling around.

“You thought your mother would sugar coat it. Make AJ into some kind of sympathetic hero. Or absolve Jason of something. Because she loves you. And Jason would take the blame all on himself. You know I don’t care enough to do either.”

Carly pressed her lips together and looked away. “I had my reasons for what happened.”

“And that’s great. I don’t care about your reasons, Carly. They’re not my problem. What matters to me is Jason, Bobbie, and Michael. They’re my family. And you destroyed them. Right now, you have the two people who love you—who genuinely grieved your loss—you have them thinking you did it on purpose. That you faked your death to get Jason’s attention or something.”

“Yeah, everyone loves to make me the bad guy,” Carly muttered.

“And I’m not saying it’s not something you would never do,” Elizabeth said. “But I know how much you love Michael. And how much you loved that club. And your car. You never would have sacrificed all three of them to make a stupid point.”

Carly’s eyes were wet with tears when she met Elizabeth’s eyes. “I didn’t fake my death.”

“I’m not the person you should be telling.” Elizabeth gestured in the direction. “You should tell Jason. Because whatever trouble you’re in, he can fix it. More than that, he wants to fix it. So just let him.”

Corinthos & Morgan: Warehouse

When one of the guards told Jason Carly was there to see him, Jason almost told him to send her away. Having made the decision to surrender guardianship to AJ, Jason really didn’t want to go another round with Carly.

Particularly when he was almost convinced that she would never tell him what the hell was going on, and he wasn’t interested in keeping his life on hold to fix hers anymore.

He’d wanted to take a few days with Elizabeth before her classes started. He knew that she and Gia had been saving for a vacation for that week all summer, and Jason had planned to surprise them both with a week on the island. He could have gone to Puerto Rico to do some business, giving them time alone.

But Carly had come home, and none of them had left. Gia Campbell would never be his favorite person, but she’d proved to be the kind of loyal and devoted friend Carly had always claimed to be, and she’d stayed home with Elizabeth.

“Jason?” Max asked again with raised brows. “You want me to get rid of her?”

He sighed.  “No.” Jason waved his hand. “Let her in.”

He’d tell her in person what he was planning to do. Maybe the shock of it—

But then Carly came in, tears stained her cheek, her hands were trembling. “I can’t—I can’t do it.”

“Okay.” Jason got to his feet and steered her to one of the chairs in front of the desk. “Can’t do what?”

“I can’t do what he asked. I can’t. I’m so mad at you, Jase. So angry. But not that angry. I’m not. I can’t ever be that angry.”

With a sinking feeling, Jason sat in the chair next to her. He’d been right. Someone had orchestrated this. “Who asked what? Let’s…start at the beginning.”

“Elizabeth was right. I loved that car.” Carly’s lip trembled, but she swallowed hard. “I was just…I was driving the cliff roads. You used to talk about your bike a-and I hated that stupid thing, but I loved taking those turns in that car. Sonny hated that car, but I loved it—”

She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. “I don’t—I don’t remember the accident. Just—there were bright lights. And then pain. And then nothing. I don’t know if the car went into the water. God. I don’t know if I went into the water. I just—there was an accident, Jase.”

Bright lights. Maybe headlights. “What is the next thing you remember?”

“It’s hard…I feel like…” She bit her lip. “I think I was kept drugged. I don’t know. You know that feeling when you just drift? You can’t…you can’t wake up. You can’t open your eyes. You just…drift. You tell your body to move and it just ignores you.” She sucked in another shaky breath. “I don’t know how long that…that lasted. I just don’t. But um, when I was conscious—I thought I was in a hospital or something. A nurse told me—she told me I was in Canada. Toronto. But I think—”

“That was a lie,” Jason told her gently. “The PCPD looked in all the hospitals in the region. Sonny and I did, too. And then we looked a second time when you came home. No one with your description was admitted and then wasn’t accounted for.”

“Okay. Okay. Um, she told me there was an accident. That I had been in a coma for a while or something. It was…I woke up two weeks before that night. I didn’t stay away the whole time, Jason, I wouldn’t do that to Michael.”

“I didn’t think so, either.” Jason hesitated. “I thought you might have…that you might have faked the accident, but not for so long. I thought whoever helped you kept you—”

Carly closed her eyes. “Yeah, I guess…I guess I haven’t given you a reason not to…think that. The shit I’ve pulled, Jase…I’m surprised your hair isn’t white.”

She dragged her hands through her hair. “Okay. Okay. So, then this guy comes in and he’s got this—he’s got these pictures. And this crap from the court. It’s AJ and Michael. And he’s telling me that AJ has my son. That Michael is living there. That no one misses me. And I’m like, that’s bullshit. I told him it was bullshit, Jase.”

“Carly—”

“But he showed me the court records and photos from the Fourth of July, and you’re—you’re with AJ. And Michael is with them. And I was so angry—and then pictures of you and that stupid twit—” She closed her eyes. “Pictures of everyone laughing. Smiling. Like I didn’t matter.”

“Carly—”

“I get it. I mean, I kind of get it. I understand mostly. It was months, right? April, May, June—July. Of course, life moved on. But it didn’t for me—” Carly pressed a hand to her chest. “I wasn’t dead. And I didn’t—I didn’t know it was faked. I just thought no one was looking for me—”

“A guy comes in with all this information and you didn’t think someone faked your death?” Jason asked skeptically. “Carly—”

“You know I don’t think,” Carly snapped. “So, I kept telling him it was bullshit and as soon as I got out of the hospital, I’d prove it to him. You were my best friend and you loved Michael. You would never do that to me.”

“Carly—”

“So, he told me that that was the plan. That when I went home, I should see how much people missed me. And—and I could go home. But there was a deal. There was a catch—”

“You couldn’t tell me anything.” Jason leaned back in his chair. “It was a test, wasn’t it, Carly? If I had given you Michael right away, you’d have told me everything.”

“B-but you wouldn’t.” Carly’s hands fisted. “You refused. A-And I was so angry. And when I get angry, I just—I react. I tried to—I used Michael the way you hate. I knew you’d say no. But it was the last thing I knew to do. Nothing else was working.”

“And when I refused, what did this man ask you to do?” Jason said, but he had a feeling he already knew.

“He—he asked me if I wanted revenge.” Tears slid down Carly’s face. “And I did. I did. Until he told me what he wanted me to do. I agreed, but I was scared, Jase—I never would have—”

“What did he ask you to do?” Jason repeated, getting to his feet. “Carly—”

“There’s—he wanted me to get you to come to a warehouse tonight.” Carly also stood. “But I wasn’t gonna be there. He said he just wanted to talk to you away from Sonny, but I knew what he was asking. I never—I couldn’t.”

“Tonight.” Jason hissed under his breath. “When did he ask you this?”

“A few—a few days ago. I was still so mad. I didn’t want to do it, but I thought I would just ignore it all, but then he called me today and told me that he knew I hadn’t come to see you yet. He was watching me—watching you—”

Her eyes filled with tears. “So, I had to come to you. But I didn’t know what to do. How to deal with it. But—I wanted to know. I wanted to know what Elizabeth knew about AJ and Michael. She’s right. She doesn’t care enough to bullshit me. So, I get it now. I still hate what you did, Jase, but I get it. And I’m sorry, but—”

Jason held up a hand to cut off her rambling apologies. “Stop. When is this ambush? Because that’s what it is, Carly. You agreed to lure me into an ambush.”

“I wouldn’t do that!” Carly cried. “Except. Yeah. I did. But to stall for time. I didn’t—Tonight. At nine. At Pier 52. Jason—”

“Just stop.” Jason took a deep breath. It was almost four o’clock. They had time…time to set up something. A trap, maybe. To get at the bottom of all of this. “Did the man ever introduce himself?”

“No, but I know who he is. I’ve seen his face in the paper and his wife has come to my club. Mickey Roscoe.”

“Roscoe,” Jason repeated. He had to be working with someone. Could Nico and Roscoe have started to work together? They didn’t have evidence of that, but— “Okay. You can go. You’ve done your part, Carly. Go.” He hesitated. “Go talk to Bobbie. Tell her that you’ve told me everything, and that I’m satisfied. Tell her you were kidnapped. I’m sorry this happened to you, Carly, but damn it—” He closed his eyes. “Go talk to your mother.”

“I’m sorry, Jase—”

“Yeah, me, too. Now go. I’ve got things to do.”

She left with more tears on her cheeks, but he couldn’t spare time to think about that. He knew what had happened during those five months, but why was Roscoe’s first plan to take Jason out? What did that serve?

He strode down the hall to Sonny’s office, pushing the door open to find Sonny meeting with Benny. “We’ve got a problem.”

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Courtney returned from her break with a pensive look on her face and made a beeline for Elizabeth counting receipts behind the counter. “Hey. Have you talked to Jason today?”

“Not since he dropped me off. And he hasn’t called–” Elizabeth reached into her purse for her phone and cursed. “I left it at Jake’s. Damn it.” She looked at Courtney. “Why?”

“AJ just called. His lawyer said that Alexis Davis called him and canceled the meeting for tonight. He tried to call Jason, but—”

“It’s already five—” Elizabeth frowned. “They were supposed to meet in an hour—why would Jason—” She bit her lip. “Maybe something came up at the warehouse.” And wasn’t that a comforting thought? Why had she forgotten her phone today of all days?

She picked up the phone behind Kelly’s counter and dialed Jason’s cell. It went straight to voicemail. That did not make her feel better. She tried Sonny’s number. Nothing.

She furrowed her brow. What was Alexis’s office number? Had they been arrested? Should she call the PCPD to find out? Damn it.

“Elizabeth?”

Elizabeth met Courtney’s worried gaze and took a deep breath. “This is something that happens sometimes,” she said softly. More to herself than to her friend. “Things come up. A-and I can’t know about it until it’s okay. So, they’re not answering their phones. I just—I have to wait. Someone will tell me something soon. It’s how it works.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth cleared her throat. “There’s no reason to panic. This just happens sometimes. Jason had to go out of town once really unexpectedly, and he couldn’t tell me. I kind of freaked out a bit, and I felt stupid asking Sonny about it. So…this is fine. I’ll just…wait it out.”

Even as all her nerve ending were standing up and screaming that Jason and Sonny were never out of touch at the same time.

“I could cover for you if you want to go to the warehouse? Or to Jake’s to get your phone.”

Elizabeth hesitated, considered it, but ultimately shook her head. “No. No, it’s fine. Jason will probably stop by before closing and let me know what’s up.”

And if she went to the warehouse or to get her phone…it would be admitting something might be wrong. And she wasn’t ready to do that.

February 28, 2018

This entry is part 19 of 35 in the Bittersweet

Couldn’t take the blame
Sick with shame
Must be exhausting to lose your own game
Selfishly hated
No wonder you’re jaded
You can’t play the victim this time
And you’re too late

Call Me When You’re Sober, Evanescence


Tuesday, September 3, 2002

Kelly’s: Courtyard

Bobbie poked at her lunch, unable to muster the appetite necessary to lift the fork. Across the table, Felicia Jones tipped her head. “Hey. This was supposed to distract you.”

“As if that were possible.” Bobbie moved her salad listlessly across the plate. “She’s been home an entire week.”

“I know.”

“And I haven’t seen her.” Bobbie pursed her lips. “Haven’t wanted to. I know where she’s staying. I know Jason is keeping watch—I just don’t care. God. How awful that sounds.”

“I know that I can’t imagine either of my daughters ever doing anything that would get me to that point,” Felicia said slowly, “but then again, Bobbie, you didn’t raise Carly. She’s only been in your life for four years as your daughter. Before that—”

“She was the conniving bitch who broke up my marriage.” Bobbie sighed, pressing a hand to her head. “Yes, I know. And I’ve moved on from that. Because—because I see myself in her, you know? That willingness to do whatever I had to to get what I thought I deserved. I mean, I’m not some shining example—”

“You did things when you were younger, sure.” Felicia shrugged. “We’ve all done things we’re not proud of. I mean, I broke up a marriage to a good man for…something that didn’t exist. You and Tony both did that, too. Everyone makes mistakes. But not everyone revels in it the way Carly does. I honestly think she gets off on the damage.”

“I wouldn’t have thought so before,” Bobbie murmured. “But the woman who came back…something happened during those five months, Felicia. I just…I feel like if she would just tell me, we could get past this. Maybe not Jason and Carly—I honestly think he’s done with her—but maybe I could get over it.”

“Maybe. Or maybe her reasons wouldn’t be good enough. I mean, it sounds like they’re not good enough for Jason. Is he still not turning custody over to her?”

“No, but—” Bobbie sighed. “I’m surprised.” She paused. “Or maybe I’m not. I remember thinking when she came home that I didn’t want him to get caught up in her games again. Not just because I care about him, but…”

“But because he’s dating Elizabeth Webber?”

“Yes. I didn’t want that for her, either. You were at that stupid wedding, Felicia. You saw the reaction when she walked away from Lucky. From that entire fiasco. She’s kept walking, and she’s…she’s the girl I always thought she’d grow up to be. I wanted that for her, and I wanted her to be happy. And…Jason chasing Carly isn’t the life I wanted for her.”

“I always thought it was a shame that Robin and Jason broke up the way they did,” Felicia said slowly. “Mac was relieved. He hated how Robin just…let Carly walk all over her. But I never saw it that way. I think Robin knew she and Jason were on borrowed time once she left for college that first time. She was just holding on to him. To the familiarity. And he was, too. They were already over, they just didn’t know it.”

“I guess.” Bobbie leaned back in her chair. “But since Carly’s been home, I’m relieved that Jason hasn’t given in. Because it means he’s putting Michael first. And Elizabeth, if not first as well, a close second—”

“Because everyone is better than me.”

The venomous bitter words startled both women as they turned to see Carly standing just behind the table. When had she—

“Carly,” Bobbie said. But then stopped. What could she say to this woman? This woman who wore the same anger that she’d known all those years ago when they’d first known one another? Her daughter hated her again the same visceral way she’d had when she’d first come to Port Charles.

“Everyone is a better person than me,” Carly continued. Almost growling. “Right? Elizabeth is a better daughter. A better girlfriend. Probably a better mother. Michael probably just loved her.”

When Felicia picked up her milkshake and just slurped it, Bobbie shot her a dirty look. “Carly,” she began again. “That’s not how it was—we all missed you—” Well, not all, but that was important. “I grieved for you—”

“I’m not the daughter you wanted,” Carly retorted. “I got that from the moment I came to Port Charles. All everyone could ever talk about was BJ and how perfect she was—”

“God, Carly—” Bobbie just closed her eyes as a shaft a pain pierced her. Nearly a decade and it still took her breath away. “That’s not fair—”

“I come back again, and it’s all about Elizabeth Goddamn Webber. Jason loves her. You love her. God knows Sonny loves her more than his own damned sister—but what about me?”

“What about you?” Bobbie shoved herself to her feet. “I buried you, Carly. I wept for you. What do you want from any of us? You were dead—”

“You sure didn’t look very hard,” Carly cut in. “From what I hear, the Coast Guard called off the search within twenty-four hours? You all just jumped at the chance to be rid of me.”

“Carly, Bobbie was inconsolable,” Felicia said, finally. “She went to the PCPD day after day, trying to convince them to keep searching. They kept it open longer than they might have because of her—”

“Then why isn’t she helping me get my son back?” Carly demanded. She focused those angry dark eyes on Bobbie’s. “Why aren’t you helping me?”

“I’m not—” Bobbie exhaled slowly. “You weren’t gone a week. Or two weeks, Carly. You were gone five months. Where were you?” she demanded, her voice breaking. “What happened?”

“I didn’t want to believe it,” Carly said with a shake of her head. “I couldn’t believe that you would all forget me. That I didn’t matter. But it was like I never existed. My son, living with the man who killed my child. My best friend in the world, dating someone else, breaking bread with that son of a bitch. My own mother helping them—My ex-husband didn’t even go to my memorial—” Her voice broke. “You all forgot me. It was like I never existed.”

Felicia frowned, but Bobbie just shook her head. “No, no. That’s not—we all struggled to put it back together. Those first two months were horrible. I couldn’t tell one day from the next, and Lucas had to practically take over. Get Michael to school. Look out for him—I couldn’t breathe, Carly—”

Her daughter just shook her head. “I don’t believe that. How could I believe that? You gave my son away to a dangerous and violent alcoholic like he didn’t matter—just one more reminder of your mistake, right, Mama?” She swiped at her tears. “And Jason never loved me. How could he? How could he love me and then not even help—”

“Carly—”

“You’re all going to be sorry,” Carly growled. “I’ll get my son back and then I’m taking him away from all of you.” She spun on her heel and stalked back to the parking lot.

“Damn it,” Bobbie muttered, sitting back down. “Damn it. How could she think we didn’t miss her? That we could have forgotten—”

“I didn’t want to believe it,” Felicia echoed softly. She looked at Bobbie. “She couldn’t believe you would all forget her. She didn’t want to believe it.”

“She just can’t see how it was—”

“Bobbie. Listen to me,” Felicia cut in, and her sharp tone forced Bobbie to take a deep breath. To look at her. “Listen to me. Carly came home last week ready to go to war. She was already angry when she came to your house, remember? And you told me that Jason thought she already knew about AJ. Already knew where Michael was.”

“Right.” Bobbie exhaled slowly. “She didn’t want to believe that we all forgot her.”

“Which means…someone told her that.” Felicia tapped her nails. “Not that it excuses any of the bullshit she’s pulling, Bobbie, but I think you might want to tell Jason that someone was feeding Carly information while she was gone.”

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

“I don’t understand how she could just disappear,” Sonny said slowly, squinting at Benny and Stan, “and then reappear, and there be nothing to explain it.”

“I wish I could help you,” Stan said with a shrug. “We’ve dug into all of her accounts. She was declared legally dead about two weeks after the accident. Her estate went into probate. And nothing. Nothing before. Nothing until she showed up at the Cosmopolitan. Bobbie hadn’t dealt with Carly’s accounts—”

“And it didn’t occur to me to do anything about them either,” Jason interrupted. “Custody came first.” He rubbed his eyes. “I don’t see why anyone would fake her death to get at us.”

“She was barely connected,” Sonny mused. “Why fake it at all? Why not kill her outright? What is served by having her come home? It’s not adding up, Jase. It just isn’t. If she had faked her own death, there would have been a trail. Carly’s smart, but not that smart. The fact that we can’t pick up her scent—”

“What about the witness that called in the accident?” Jason asked. He looked to Stan. “If she wasn’t in the accident—”

“He’s in the wind,” Stan said. “If he ever existed. To be honest, we didn’t—” He hesitated. “We didn’t really check him out before. It all seemed on the up and up.”

“Witness calls in an accident with Carly’s car,” Sonny said with a nod. “I didn’t even know anything until the morning, but by then the Coast Guard was already searching. The PCPD had confirmed something happened up there. Carly never came home. It all added up.”

“But the accident was a set up if this witness is gone.” Jason exhaled slowly. “I keep going back to it being connected to us, Sonny. But I just—it doesn’t make work for me.”

“Roscoe does not have the resources to pull this off. And we’re watching Nico’s money too closely. We weren’t in April, but we were by the end of May. Where could they have kept Carly that we wouldn’t have had noticed?” Benny pointed out. “But even so—”

“What do they gain?” Sonny pressed. “She’s my ex-wife, yeah. Your ex…whatever. But not now. Everyone had to know about the divorce. We barely saw one another those last few months. Why Carly? Why not—” And he hesitated at that. “Why not someone who was still in my life? I have a sister. There’s Courtney. Mike. And Elizabeth has been around for years. Why Carly?”

“It brought you home, Jase,” Stan pointed out. “Maybe someone knew you would have custody of her son. That you’d have to be here.”

“Then there’s no way it’s Nico or Roscoe, because the last thing they wanted was your eyes on the paperwork again,” Benny argued. “But who else?”

They were arguing in circles, but Jason finally shook his head. “This all depends on whether or not we believe Carly did this on her own or if she had help. Or if it was unwillingly. Everything else….it doesn’t matter. Because—”

“You think Carly managed this all on her own?” Sonny shook his head. “I know I said as much to her, and she let me think it was about you, but I’m not buying it, Jase. She doesn’t have the resources—”

“I think it’s possible that she was in an accident,” Jason said slowly. “And maybe…she planned to stay away a day or two. Or just long enough to make a point. Maybe it was for you. Maybe it was me. I don’t know. I doubt she meant to stay away for months, but—”

“Maybe it started as her idea but got twisted by someone else,” Sonny said with a nod. “Remember what Bobbie said—that Carly didn’t want to believe we had forgotten her. You don’t have to believe something you don’t know about. She came back to Port Charles already pissed off, playing it like she didn’t know where Michael was—”

“Elizabeth suggested she followed us the night we took Michael to AJ’s,” Jason said. “I think she followed us longer than that. Or someone did. Because—” And at this hesitated, because it was personal. But it might be important. “We usually spend the night together. At Jake’s most of the time. I don’t like the apartment because of Taggart, and her studio doesn’t—” He shook his head. “Anyway, Elizabeth wasn’t at my place for more than a week. And Carly knew it. She thought it meant we were having issues.”

“And if she knew Elizabeth was usually at your place—someone had to tell her, or she followed you for several days.”

“So we’re back to thinking Carly had help,” Jason said, a bit relieved by that. “She’ll have to tell us eventually, Sonny.” It was what he had clung to all month—this assurance that when it came down to a choice between whatever secret she was holding and her son, Carly would come clean.

Then Jason could—

And then he stopped himself. He didn’t want to fix this for her. It was reflex to look at this situation as a problem he had to solve for Carly. Carly had made her choice that first night she’d been back. Every time she had called him and not told him the truth.  And when she come to Jake’s and attempted to exploit his issues with Elizabeth.

She didn’t care about him. About what was important to him. And if he was honest with himself, Carly had never concerned herself with that. She told herself she did—but it had never been true.

And he let himself think it was—if he let himself get sucked into helping Carly, making her problems go away—he knew it wouldn’t stop there.

Carly would take it as invitation to go back to where she had been in his life before Sonny. Looking over his shoulder. Taking care of herself first and then punishing him later.

He’d already let it happen once and watched Robin walk away from him.

He would be damned if he’d let Elizabeth go to take care of Carly.

“Or maybe she won’t come,” Jason admitted. “I don’t know. I’ve given up trying to predict Carly’s next move, Sonny. But I don’t think we can just…assume there’s nothing behind it. It doesn’t make sense right now. But nothing in the last week has made sense. We should just—keep our eyes open. Because whatever she’s up to—”

“—we’re not going to know what hit us.”

Vista Point: Cliff Road

Elizabeth frowned when Jason pulled the bike over to the shoulder near the guard rail where Carly had had her accident.  “What—”

He switched off the engine and then walked to the edge of the road. The rail had been replaced at some point that summer. Like the accident had never happened.

“I met with Sonny today while you were in class,” he told her when she joined him. “We were talking about how Carly could have pulled off faking her death without help.”

“Okay.”

He looked at her with a wary expression. “I know you’re sick of Carly—”

“I am,” she admitted. “But she’s a problem that exists whether I’m here or not, and I’d rather be here. So what are you thinking?”

“Sonny thought she might have faked the accident to get his attention. Or mine.”

“Because if she were missing, Sonny would call you.”

“I keep coming back to that…because it seems logical. It seems like an asinine plan Carly would pull to make a point. I didn’t talk to her all that much, but she was always asking me to come back.” Jason hesitated. “And I was starting to consider it. I wanted—” He looked at her. “I knew you weren’t seeing Lucky. I guess I was starting to wonder if it would be different this time.”

She managed a smile for him. “I’m glad you did come home. I’m just sorry any of this is happening. Is that you think Carly did?”

“I don’t know. Because…the guard rail was damaged. It was ripped apart and mangled. Something went over this cliff.”

“Maybe Carly’s car.” Elizabeth pursed her lips. “She loved that car. First thing she bought when the divorce settlement came through. She used to drive Bobbie crazy with it—you could hear her speeding down the block.” She hesitated. “I’m not saying Carly wouldn’t…fake her death to get to you or Sonny. Because there’s literally nothing Carly wouldn’t do. But…I don’t know. She loved that car.”

“I think someone took her,” Jason said quietly. “And I don’t know what happened after that. I don’t know if she stayed away willingly. I know someone told her we were all living our lives like she hadn’t ever been here. Like she didn’t matter. That doesn’t make what Carly’s doing right—”

“She thinks we were all better off without her. Happier without her.” Elizabeth exhaled slowly. “Yeah. I can see how—I mean, we talked about it back then, Jason. How there were only a handful of people who were really going to miss her.”

“When Carly gets angry, she doesn’t usually stop to think until she’s forced to,” Jason murmured. “And she hasn’t been forced to. She’s running on that anger now. She thinks it’ll work. But she hasn’t gone to court. Hasn’t asked a lawyer to get custody.”

“Because she doesn’t think she’d win. Or she’d have to tell everyone where she’s been.”

“And she doesn’t want to do that.” Jason turned, leaned against the guard rail. “She could get joint custody at least at this point if she told us the truth. Joint custody is better than what she has now. She’s not telling us.”

“Which means it’s more complicated than a plan that backfired.” Elizabeth nodded. She folded her arms and looked away. “It’s not just the car that has me hesitating to completely…blame her. I want to blame her, Jason. Because it’s convenient. Because I don’t like her. But…she loved that car. And she loves Michael. And you. If this was designed to get you home, Jason—she never would have stayed away for five months. It’s not like you and I got together right away. There was a window for her to come home. And she didn’t.”

“Because she couldn’t.” Jason looked away. “I don’t know. I can’t explain why someone would fake her death and then just send her back. Maybe they threatened her if she told the truth. I just—I can’t put Michael in the middle of it. Even if it ends it sooner.”

Elizabeth’s shoulders relaxed as she exhaled slowly. “I know what I said before about…Carly using him. But I wonder if…he’s been asking about her, Courtney told me. And everyone thought…Carly would come clean by now.”

Jason raised his brows. “I thought you said—”

“I didn’t want you to bring Michael to her because Carly manipulated you. This is different. That was four days ago. She’s been home a week and a half…and she’s just treading water. She’s waiting for you to give in, Jason.”

“So you think I should—”

“I don’t know. I don’t…” Elizabeth chewed on her bottom lip. “I just know that we can’t keep waiting. We’re at a stalemate, Jason, and if Carly is the first one to make a move…that’s kind of a terrifying thought. She once shot a man in open court. And it was her idea to—” She bit her lip. “You know why AJ surrendered his rights, don’t you?”

“I figured Sonny or Carly blackmailed him—” Jason hissed. “What happened?”

“Sonny threatened his life. Hung him on a meat hook and left him in a freezer for a few hours to make his point. Either AJ signed Michael away or…” Elizabeth trailed off. “It was the only way Carly agreed to go quietly in the divorce. And Sonny wanted the divorce. You know he’s never liked AJ.”

“This was Carly’s idea?” Jason asked, in disbelief. “I mean…I know AJ has his issues, but that’s…that’s—”

“I didn’t know about it at the time. AJ told Courtney, and Courtney told me and Gia. He doesn’t know I know. I think he’s ashamed of himself for giving in. For not being a better father or something. I don’t know. Anyway, that’s not my point.” She hesitated. “My point is that if we wait for Carly to make the next move, I don’t think any of us are going to be happy. I don’t want Michael in the middle of this, Jason, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is.”

“Yeah, I guess. I can’t—I can’t just…do it on my own.” He grimaced. “It’s not just my decision.”

“We can talk to AJ and Courtney tomorrow,” she told him. “They’re both…worried as well. AJ’s kind of…terrified you’ll change your mind and he’ll have to fight for Michael in court. So we’ll figure this out.” She took his face in her hands. “I don’t really care where she was, Jason, but I always understood you did. And that for all of our sakes, you needed to know. What bothered me was that—”

“I let her manipulate me because I wanted the answers,” he said quietly. “I know. And I’m sorry. I wasn’t fair to either of us.” He wrapped his hands around her wrists and leaned down to brush her lips with his. “You want to drive back?”

“Wow, you really are sorry.” She offered him a wicked grin. “I want a rain check on that offer because I’d rather go nowhere. Fast.”

“Done.”

Cosmopolitan Hotel: Carly’s Suite

Carly paced in her hotel suite, growling at her phone. Why the hell wasn’t Jason answering her calls? He had to be desperate by now.

If he would just give her Michael, she could tell him everything. That was the deal. She’d been so sure of him—so sure of their friendship, of his loyalty—

It had never occurred to her that Jason would betray her. That he would be like everyone else.

That he would steal her son and give him away to Carly’s worst enemy. To the man who had murdered her baby.

If Jason didn’t give her back Michael, Carly was going to make him pay just like all the rest—

The knock at her door had her leaping across the room. Finally! Maybe he had Michael with him—that was why he hadn’t answered any of her calls—

“Ah, Ms. Benson.”

Carly scowled. “What do you want?”

“I’m checking in. We agreed you would have some time to convince Mr. Morgan to cooperate. To give you back your son.” Mickey Roscoe tipped his head with a knowing smile. “I see he hasn’t come through. It’s just as I told you.”

“I just need a little more time—”

“I know how we can force Mr. Morgan’s hand. And…” Mickey’s lips curved into a smile. “Don’t you want a little revenge?”

February 23, 2018

This entry is part 18 of 35 in the Bittersweet

Cause I’m not who I was
When I took my first step
And I’m clinging to the promise
You’re not through with me yet
So if all of the trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If you want me to
If You Want Me To, Ginny Owens


Monday, September 2, 2002

Kelly’s: Courtyard

When Elizabeth saw Sonny sitting down in the courtyard, she sighed and thought about asking Penny to cover the table. A month ago, she had been telling Gia she didn’t know how to be happy. A week ago, she’d confessed those fears to Jason who had seemed to understand.

And two days ago, Jason had left her studio to talk to Carly again. He hadn’t called her since.

She should have known.

There would always be a second shoe. Always a disaster.

And somehow, even though Elizabeth couldn’t quite figure out why, she felt like the villain here.

She’d been honest with Jason—maybe too honest. And her timing had sucked. He’d just been drop kicked by Carly for maybe the eighth time in his life and she hadn’t waited more than a handful of days before giving him what must have felt like an ultimatum.

“Hey, Elizabeth.” Sonny tossed aside the menu and sat back as she poured him a cup of coffee. “How’s life?”

“Oh, fantastic,” she muttered. “You?”

Sonny sighed. “Can you sit?”

She didn’t want to, but she could tell Sonny had something on his mind and he’d timed his visit for the post-lunch rush. “Yeah.”

“I don’t intend to pry,” Sonny began. “I just…I’m worried. About Carly. And how Jason is handling this. He hasn’t talked to me—”

“Why do you think I would know anything?” Elizabeth demanded.

Sonny blinked at her short response. “Did you…did you have another run-in with Carly?” he repeated.

“Oh, my God.” Elizabeth squeezed her eyes shut. This was going to be her life now. All Carly all the time. “No. She’s not going to bother with me. I made my position clear to her. The only the way she gets anything from me is to tell Jason what’s going on. She’s not going to do that, so I’m useless to her. Is that it?”

“I—” He held out a hand to stop her as she started to rise. “I get it. Carly’s not your favorite person right now, but she’s in trouble—”

“I just—I can’t.” She threw up her hands. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I’m a bad friend. A terrible girlfriend. Whatever label you want to slap on me. But I do not give a rat’s ass if she’s in trouble.”

Sonny’s lips formed a bit of an ‘oh’ as he took this tumble of words in. “Are…are you and Jason fighting? He hasn’t said—I mean, he wouldn’t. He’d rather chew off his own arm rather than talk to me about this stuff.” He looked away.

“I don’t know what we are.” Elizabeth shifted. “I tried to help. I waited at the Brownstone. I did exactly what Jason and I talked about. Trying to convince her to think about Michael. But she just—God, Sonny. She’s the same person she’s always been, and I just get don’t this obsession with getting her out of trouble. I don’t care what the hell happened—”

“Ah. She…” Sonny scratched the side of his nose. “She probably didn’t really like finding out you were dating Jason.”

“Yeah, because I was worried about her opinion. Jason got that look, too, when I told him I had mentioned it. That grimace like I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry, are we protecting Carly? Was my relationship with Jason something I was supposed to lie about?” she bit out.

“No. Just…” Sonny sighed. “Antagonizing her—”

“I’m done with this—” Elizabeth shot to her feet. “Look. I get it. I’m not an idiot. Part of the reason you and Jason are treading so cautiously is because…where ever she’s been—it might be…connected to whatever. But you’re both kidding yourselves if you think that’s the only reason you’re both so goddamn concerned. You both have spent years bailing Carly out of her bullshit, and you’re apparently addicted to it. Well, I don’t have blinders where she’s concerned.”

“Jason doesn’t see her that way—”

“This is not jealousy you’re seeing and screw you, Sonny, for thinking that it’s that simple. It’s not a cat fight over a guy. This is about seeing Carly for who she is which I thought you had.” Elizabeth shook her head. “Like I said, I’m a terrible person, whatever you want to say. But I’m not going to spend my day thinking about her. And I’m not going to sit by and watch while you and Jason let her wreak havoc—”

“Elizabeth.” Sonny stood. “Let me just—I’m not helping, I can see that. And I’m sorry. I think—” He tilted his head. “You’re thinking about Robin. And that entire mess when Carly came home, and Jason had them both in the cottage—”

“I can remember their fights at the garage when I used to visit Lucky,” Elizabeth admitted. “And I know how Carly saw Robin. She was a threat. And I don’t know what she did, but it worked. Because Robin left. And Jason stayed with Carly. No matter what she did, he always—”

She closed her eyes. “It’s not about romantic feelings. I don’t…I don’t see her as a threat. Not like that. But he will always go running to help her, Sonny. I don’t understand it. And I’m not sure I want to. She’s planning something, and she’s going after Jason. But then he’s talking about this like it’s another scheme, something he can fix. You know better than anyone else how much damage Carly can do when she’s trying to help. What about when she’s actively trying to destroy someone? Bobbie and Tony are still picking up the pieces of their lives. And what about Lucas and Michael? Just collateral damage in whatever she cooks up.”

“You’re not wrong, Elizabeth—”

“Yeah, Jason said that, too. Except I’m the one getting the silent treatment because I had the nerve to be honest—” Her voice broke, and she had to look away. “I told you, Sonny. I wasn’t going to do this again. And here I am, all over again. Giving pieces of myself away I will never get back. I’ve already been sacrificed on the altar of the Spencer/Cassadine feud. Excuse me if I’m not really interested in signing up to be a piece of roadkill Carly leaves behind.”

Sonny exhaled slowly. “You don’t want to sit back like Robin did, and wait for Carly to destroy Jason’s life. Again. She can’t take Michael away from him again—the only thing he gives a damn about now is you. So you know—”

“Oh, don’t—” Elizabeth stabbed a finger at him. “Don’t you dare play that card. I get to be angry about this. Because I’ve been here picking up the pieces of Carly’s life for years. You think I don’t know exactly why Jason went to the boxcar that night and nearly killed himself laying in the snow?”

Sonny ducked his head. “Elizabeth—”

“I can count, Sonny. Jason cut you and Carly out at the same time. And then she was pregnant. So yeah, I know exactly how much damage she can do. He nearly died.”

“It’s not—” Sonny took a deep breath. “She saw him dancing with you, and I taunted her. I told her that he was moving on. And you know, he was, Elizabeth. You had to know he cared about you—”

“Not enough to stay.” Her eyes burned. “I know why he left that first time. Because of her. Because she made it clear she would keep using Michael against him. So, he gave in. And he left.” She swiped at her tears. “I’m—I’m tired, Sonny. I’m tired of being a runner-up in a contest I never entered—”

“You and Jason made a lot of mistakes,” Sonny said carefully. “You know that’s true. But it’s not like that now. I know he loves you, Elizabeth. He has to have told you that by now.”

“He has.” Elizabeth tilted her head back and tried to catch her breath. “But he loved Robin. And he was with her longer.”

“Fair enough.” Sonny waited a moment. “I hear what you’re saying, Elizabeth. I really do, and you know, I-I agree with you. I don’t want to watch Jason chase after Carly, solving all her problems, either. But…what exactly are you asking for him…for either us to do?”

“Stop playing her games,” she said, then sighed. “I blew up at him this weekend, he hasn’t—we haven’t—talked. I told him I wouldn’t sit back and watch him run after Carly every time she called. But…”

“Okay.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize—have you thought about talking to him again?”

“Why bother? If I were any other girl he was dating, it wouldn’t even be—I don’t know. Maybe if I hadn’t had the year I’ve had, I could swallow it. But I—I just—I’m broken. I tried to tell him—”

“Stop it.” Sonny took a step towards her, as if he wanted to do something but he left the space between them. “You’ve been through hell. And God knows, you’re not wrong about what she’s capable of. Look, let’s just… let this lie for now, okay? Do…do you feel any better for having yelled at me? Because you can keep doing that if you don’t want to talk to Jason. I can listen.”

Elizabeth sat back down, exhausted. “I don’t know anymore, Sonny. I guess…you know they said love isn’t supposed to be easy. And I believe that. If it’s worth having—and I believe Jason loves me. But it’s like it always is. We do really well inside our own bubble. When the rest of the world gets involved…” She stared at the coffee pot. “Don’t tell him. He’s dealing with enough, and you know, I know that this isn’t easy for him. I know it would be better if I swallowed all of this and just…sucked it up. Held his hand—”

“The last thing Jason wants you to do is be anyone other than who you are. And you know what?” He dipped his head down so their eyes met. “I’m proud of you, you know. A year ago, you folded in on yourself. You weren’t honest with yourself and now you can’t hold back.”

“Yeah. Whoopee.” Elizabeth rose. “Thanks, Sonny. It did—it did help to just…admit how angry I am. And to realize that it’s not even about Jason. It’s about me. It usually is. It’s like he’s doomed to pay for the mistakes of others—”

“To be fair,” Sonny said as he held the door open for her to go back inside. “This time it looks like he’s actually paying for his own mistakes.”

Jake’s: Jason’s Room

Jason grimaced as he studied his cell phone, his finger hesitating over Elizabeth’s name. This wasn’t like him.

He was decisive. He didn’t have second thoughts.

But he hadn’t spoken to Elizabeth in two days. Hadn’t seen her. And after four months of being with her—of spending nearly every night together—this silence sucked.

But he didn’t know how to make it stop. How to convince her that it wasn’t like all the times with Carly and Robin. That it was different.

Because Jason was almost convinced Elizabeth was right. That Carly wasn’t manipulating him. He’d gone to the hotel, and Carly had just cried. Told him that Sonny came to see her, said all kinds of awful things to her. If she had Michael back—

So he’d told her he wouldn’t come the next time she called. He was done waiting for her to come clean. And then he’d ignored her phone calls.

He just wished he hadn’t left Elizabeth at the studio on the Friday. That she hadn’t had to force him to see what Carly was up to.

A sharp knock drew him out of his thoughts and he closed his phone, standing.

“I know you’re in there,” Carly snarled. “Open up.”

Jason took a moment to take a deep breath and braced himself for another round with Carly. She was coming to him this time, so that had to be…a good sign.

He opened the door to find her scowling at him. “Why the hell didn’t you answer your phone?” she demanded as she stalked past him. She narrowed her eyes at the scattering of cosmetics on his dresser—Elizabeth had started to leave things here to make it easier and he liked it.

“I still cannot believe you’re dating that little twit,” Carly muttered as she whirled to face him. “What do you see in these mealy mouthed little girls, Jase?”

Jason just stared at her. “Are you serious, Carly? What did I tell you—”

Carly’s lip trembled. “If I could just see Michael, if I could—just hold him, I could…I could start to get past it. It’s hard to think about what happened when I’m so worried about him.” One solo tear slid down her cheek. “Please, Jason. Just…let me see my little boy. We can talk about anything you want after that—”

“I—” He knew his line. He knew what she expected. But Jason stopped himself.

Because Elizabeth was right. This wasn’t about Michael. This was about Carly, and all the reasons he kept bailing her out.

And it had to end.

“When you left me guardianship,” Jason said slowly, “I didn’t immediately—I tried to keep him away from AJ. I talked to Alexis. I looked at my options. But she made it clear that I faced an uphill battle.”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake. You pay a judge—”

Jason shook his head. “AJ has the Quartermaines behind him. Even if he isn’t asking them for help. Any judge I tried to bribe Carly, Edward would have just given him more money. And we would have dragged Michael through all of that for nothing because I was never—” He swallowed hard. “I was never going to win.”

“She got to you, didn’t she?” Carly demanded. She picked up a tube of lipstick and sneered at it. “Little Miss Muffin Face. She’s all buddy buddy with Sonny’s stupid sister. AJ’s cheerleader. I bet Elizabeth couldn’t wait to bad mouth me and tell you to give Michael to AJ—”

There was so much…wrong in what she’d said that Jason couldn’t even take it all in. “Elizabeth didn’t tell me anything. I saw for myself. He’s sober, Carly. And he’s been good to Michael. That’s what I wanted for him—”

“You promised me,” Carly said as she tossed the lipstick down. It rolled off the bureau, across the floor. “You promised me you’d keep him away—”

“I couldn’t keep that promise—”

“So you take Michael and go,” she snapped. “There are a lot of countries without extradition—”

Jason took a moment, tried to keep himself calm. “Michael’s life is here. My life is here—”

“Oh, Elizabeth, right?” Carly rolled her eyes. Dismissive. “For the next five minutes. She’ll be running soon enough.” She smirked. “Isn’t she already avoiding you?”

“Are—” Jason sucked in a breath. Damn it. “Are you watching me?”

“So I’m right. Trouble in paradise.” And a glint ignited in her eyes—something he hadn’t seen in more than two years. Something he’d thought was dead and buried.

So this was how it was gonna be, Jason thought, with a surprising amount of bitterness. “It’s that simple for you, isn’t it? You think you can do what you did before. I’ll come running because you crook your finger. What, you think I’ll take Michael away from AJ so we can be a family?” he demanded.

She blinked at his harsh tone. “Look, Jase, we’ve both—we’ve both gone down different roads, and I guess maybe you like the hero worship, but Elizabeth Webber can’t give you what I can—”

Jason took her wrist as she reached out to slide her hand down his chest and held it between them, his grip tight. “We haven’t been together that way in five years, Carly.”

Carly yanked her hand back. “I want my son, Jason. You know what I’m capable of—”

“And you know what I’m capable of,” he said, flatly. “The terms haven’t changed. You’re not getting near Michael until you tell me where the hell you’ve been for five months and why you left.”

“We’ll see about that.” Carly snapped. “I’ll get my son back, and then you’re going to pay for keeping him from me. All of you will.”

General Hospital: Cafeteria

Bobbie sighed when Alan set his coffee on the table and took the seat across from her. “Hey.” His tone was kind, his eyes were concerned. And she wanted to throw herself out the window. She was sick of people looking at her that way.

“I don’t know what Carly is planning,” she said abruptly. “She came to my home in the middle of the night, screamed at me, and only came back once since then. I didn’t even see her.”

And wasn’t sure she wanted to.

“I’m not—” Alan took a deep breath. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t wondering what Carly had in mind. But that’s not—I’m just…I’m worried. And I thought we could be worried together.”

She closed her eyes. “I’m not…sure I have the energy left to be worried. I feel…empty. I love my daughter, but…” Bobbie looked at her old friend. “I love her the way a mother loves a child. I gave birth to her. I supported her. And I’m glad she’s alive. But at the same time—”

“You don’t know what direction to go.” He sipped his coffee. “How is Lucas handling all of this?”

“Lucas…is worried about Michael. He’s been hanging out with him, keeping him company at AJ’s. Helping the transition. He’s so good to that little boy, Alan. But he hates Carly. And that will probably never change. Not after this stunt.”

She hesitated. “I meant what I said. Carly hasn’t sought me out since that first night. When she came back to the house the next day, I was at work, and Elizabeth was there to run interference. To try to get answers. But she and Carly argued. Mostly about Jason, I’m sure.”

Bobbie stared down into her coffee, likely cold by now. “For months, I walked around in a fog, trying to do the best by her memory. By her son. And when she came home—when she walked through that door—I think I would have forgiven her anything if she’d only told me what happened. But she refuses, Alan. All she wants is Michael. There’s no room in her head for me, for what she put me or Jason through by being gone for five months.”

“Do you think it was willingly?” Alan asked curiously. “Carly is a lot of things, but I never—I never pictured her leaving Michael.”

“I don’t want to think that,” Bobbie admitted. “But it’s been more than a week, Alan. If she’d been kidnapped, if she’d lost her memory—why wasn’t that the first words out of her mouth? What reason does she have to come back here like she’s the victim? Like we did something to her—all we did was love Michael. And do our best by him. She won’t—she won’t slow down long enough for anyone to tell her about the custody issues.”

“I wanted to tell Jason how much I appreciated him giving AJ a chance, but I knew he wasn’t interested in my opinion,” Alan admitted. “And the fact that he’s stood by that—that AJ still has Michael even though Carly is home—”

“I would have told you that there was nothing Carly could do to make Jason cut her off. She destroyed his life over Michael. Married AJ. Slept with Sonny. Nearly got Sonny arrested twice. And still—he called her a friend.”

Alan’s lips thinned in displeasure. “I certainly never understood either of my sons when it came to Carly.”

“But this?” Bobbie shook his head. “Whatever my daughter is planning on, he’s not going to bail her out.” She sighed. “Or maybe I hope not. Because I don’t see Elizabeth putting up with it for long.”

He just tipped his head in silent inquiry, so Bobbie elaborated. “Playing second fiddle to Carly. Which is what tends to happen to anyone in Jason’s life when Carly is a factor. Carly has a way of convincing Jason to help her—and I used to be grateful for that. Because he kept her from going too far. But it’s too much to ask for him be that for another person. I don’t want him to destroy his life for her. Not again.”

She sipped her coffee, then grimaced. It was ice cold and not in a good way. “I know you’re concerned about AJ losing custody of Michael again, but you know…I’m not sure my daughter has even faced the possibility that a judge is going to look at the two of them and leave the situation as it is. She’s so used to getting her way with Michael that…I fear for us all when she realizes that this time…she might lose him.”

Kelly’s: Courtyard

As Elizabeth folded up a chair to stack it with the others, her toe caught the edge of another chair and she tripped, sending the whole stack sliding across the courtyard.

“What the fuck,” she muttered, kicking the chair. It clattered against the rest of them. “God I hate this world—”

“Hey.”

Elizabeth turned to find Jason at the entrance. “Hey.” She sighed and then started to pull the chairs back into formation.

“Can we talk—”

“Jason—” She closed her mouth. “Fine. Go ahead. I’ve said what I need to say, except—” She set a chair down and looked at him. “I know you’re dealing with a lot. And I’m not—I’m not a bitch. I can see you’re struggling. I just—”

“You’ve been around Carly long enough to know what she’s capable of.” Jason slid his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I don’t—I don’t want this to be like it was with Robin. I didn’t do right by her. And she was right about Carly. You’re right.”

“Not sure that gives me a lot of comfort, Jason.” Elizabeth walked back towards the diner, opening the door. “I knew I was right. You knew I was right. But you still went.”

“You told me to go—” He stopped talking as the door swung shut behind them and he watched her go behind the counter. “But you were right. I wanted to go. I thought—I thought I could find the right thing to say. That there had to be something I hadn’t tried.

“Carly…” Jason hesitated. “After the accident, everyone looked at me like I was…a problem to fix. Even Robin and Sonny. They both thought they knew better than me—”

“You told me once you grew up in Sonny’s eyes, but not in Robin’s.” Elizabeth studied him. “But that was before that night at the boxcar.”

“Sonny thought I needed to be free from Carly. And he knew—he knew how to play her.” Jason looked away. “So he slept with her.”

“I did the math when she got pregnant. I’m sorry. But that doesn’t explain—”

“Why I let Carly get away with so much.” He exhaled slowly. “Carly never thought I was damaged.”

Elizabeth tilted her head. “So…fixing her problems, what…proves it?”

“I guess. I don’t know. I just…I see her in trouble, and something in me tells me to fix it. I never really thought about why before. I should have. I could have saved Robin a lot of pain if I could—” Jason shook his head. “That doesn’t matter.”

“Great. So now you know why you jump when she calls. Doesn’t change it.” Elizabeth slid some paperwork in her tote. “I’m surprised she hasn’t called you yet. We’ve been here ten minutes—”

“You were right about that, too. She is—she knows when we’re together. Because she knew you hadn’t been at Jake’s.”

“Oh, I bet she did.” Elizabeth’s smile felt as sour as her stomach. “And she came to see you, right? Probably finally played her trump card.”

“Yeah. Promised to tell me whatever I wanted if she could see Michael.”

“Smart. Didn’t ask for Michael outright, just to see him. You must have been tempted.”

“I—” Jason hesitated. “I would have been.”

“Don’t do anything because you don’t want to upset me.” Elizabeth came out from behind the corner as she untied her apron. “You want to give in to her, that’s your problem—”

“Hey—” Jason took her by the elbow. “Just—just stop. Can you just listen to me? Or are you going to—”

“Be bitchy?” Elizabeth demanded. “What, do you want a cookie because you saw Carly was manipulating you before you gave in? We’re all out, but maybe I can dig up a lollipop—”

“Elizabeth—Damn it.”

She stepped back away from him. “I’m sorry. What do you want from me?”

“I—” He dragged his hands through his hair. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Elizabeth. Whatever Carly is up to, she had help. How the hell do I know it’s not someone coming after us? What if she’s part of it?”

Elizabeth looked down at her feet. “Jason—”

“She thought I would just—” His hands dropped to his side. “She thought I would bring her Michael and we’d—we’d just be a family. Like nothing happened.”

She rolled her eyes. “I saw that coming, too, didn’t I?”

“There’s nothing—” Jason paused. “You don’t have to feel threatened by Carly, Elizabeth. I told you. I love you.”

“I’m not threatened by Carly,” Elizabeth said with a touch of disgust. “I’m just—I told you. I’m not interested in letting her play you like a piano while I stand by and wring my hands. Carly’s not going to run my life.”

“I don’t plan on letting Carly run my life either,” Jason said, his eyes flashing with impatience. “It’s been a week—”

“No one ever plans for Carly,” she shot back. “That’s how she gets you. Great, Jason. You know she’s manipulating you. I’m thrilled for you.”

“Elizabeth—”

“I don’t want to fight anymore. I really don’t.” She rubbed her eyes. “I’m tired. I’m tired of watching Bobbie kill herself trying to understand her daughter. Of worrying about you and Michael. I’m just…I’m tired of Carly, Jason.”

“I know.” He swallowed hard. “This is—it’s gonna be over soon, okay? She’ll screw up. Or she’ll realize I’m not coming through for her. And she’ll have to tell us what’s going on. Just…” He held his hand out to her on the table, his palm facing up. “Just give me a chance, okay?”

Against her better judgment, Elizabeth took his hand. For all the times she hadn’t stood by him the year before—she owed him this. Even if everything inside of her was screaming at her to get out before it all fell apart.

Jason had never let her down, so she had to trust that he wouldn’t this time.

February 16, 2018

This entry is part 17 of 35 in the Bittersweet

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever
Are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down – come around
I’m always gonna worry about the things that could break us

Angels and Devils, Dishwalla


Thursday, August 29, 2002

Kelly’s: Dining Room

“Hey.” Elizabeth managed a smile for her best friend as Courtney tucked her purse under the counter and tied on her apron. “Welcome back.”

The blonde managed an exhausted smile. “Thanks for the time off—it’s been…” she sighed and shook her head. “Not great. I mean, it’s not Michael. He’s—”

“Tough?” Elizabeth offered as she measured coffee beans for the grinder. “Taking it all in stride?”

“I don’t know if that’s good or bad,” Courtney admitted. “Should he just not even blink when his mother returns from the dead? Or he is just so used to having his life upended that he just shrugs and moves on?”

“Well, he’ll probably be in therapy for the rest of his life. How’s AJ dealing with it?”

“Okay, I guess. He was worried Jason would change his mind at first the way he always does with Carly, but he hasn’t. And Carly hasn’t come back. Which makes us even more nervous.”

Elizabeth turned on the grinder and they were both silent for a few minutes while the machine roared.

“How is Jason doing with all of this?” Courtney paused. “I mean, if you want—”

“I don’t know. He’s not…” Elizabeth measured the first of the grounds into the pot, the habitual routine comforting to her. This—this she could do. “We had kind of a fight that first day after Carly came home. We’re not—we’re not not talking, but I guess he’s trying not to—”

“Are you okay?” Courtney asked after a moment when Elizabeth stopped speaking. “I know you’ve been waiting for the second shoe—”

“I don’t like Carly. Which I told him. And then she called him to come and talk.”

Courtney hesitated. “She did? But—”

“She didn’t tell him anything,” Elizabeth cut in. “Jason didn’t—he didn’t really get into it, but I’m sure she tried to guilt him like she always does.” Elizabeth waited a moment. “She called him again the next day. And then again yesterday.”

“And still hasn’t told him anything?” Courtney shook her head. “That doesn’t make any sense. Why—”

“She’s testing him,” Elizabeth muttered. “To see if she can—” She stopped. “I don’t know. Maybe that’s just me not liking her coming out. But it feels that way. It feels like she calls him to see if he’ll come running. And he does. Because he wants answers. Because he wants to fix this.”

With the coffee brewing and a signal from Don in the kitchen that he was ready to get started, Elizabeth flipped the sign on the door to open. In about ten minutes, they would be flooded with dock workers grabbing coffee and breakfast before or after a shift.

“Are…” Courtney hesitated. “Are you mad at him?”

“No.” Elizabeth considered her answer. “Just…resigned, I think. This is who Jason is. I just…I don’t know how I’m supposed to…do this. How I’m supposed to feel about it. I…I don’t want to be Robin.”

Courtney frowned. “I don’t get the reference.”

“Robin was Jason’s ex-girlfriend—”

“Who told AJ about Michael. Yeah, that much I know.”

“Robin put up with Carly for the last two years of her relationship with Jason. Carly was always a factor. In fact…Jason…” Elizabeth hesitated. “You know about the accident? That it…he had to…kind of relearn a lot of things.”

“Yeah—”

“Well, he slept with Carly even when he was with Robin. It’s not—it’s not important because I get it. And I’m not worried about that. But it’s always given Carly a sense of power over Jason. And Robin was basically humiliated in front of everyone when people thought Jason was Michael’s father—”

“Because it was during the period when they were dating.”

“Basically. And Robin put up with Carly over and over again. Jason let Carly get away with so much—you should hear the way Carly talks about Robin, and you just know she said it to her face—”

“Do you think he’ll do that to you—”

“No.” Elizabeth shook her head. “No, I don’t. I guess, mostly I don’t. He was pretty angry with Carly back when we were getting close. Carly and I got into it more than once when he was at my studio. And he stepped in. He says he’s learned from what happened with Robin. That he wasn’t fair to either of them in the end, but—” She looked at Courtney. “By the time Robin left town, I know they hated one another. Jason says he’s forgiven her, but I’m not sure he’s forgotten what she did.”

“What, you think because you made it clear you’re not really going to do much to help Carly, that it’s going to change things between you?”

“I don’t know. I feel like maybe it already has.” Elizabeth bit her lip. “And I’m not being fair, I guess. I know Carly is his friend. I may not understand it, but I’m not…I wouldn’t ask him to choose—”

“Why not?” Courtney demanded. “What’s she done to deserve his loyalty after all this?”

“She gave him Michael.” Elizabeth managed a smile for the first wave of customers as the bell over the door rang. “I can’t compete with that. I’m not going to.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I just…I’m not going to let Carly run my life or get in my face. Even to make his life easier. I’ve spent too much time letting people walk all over me. That part of my life is over.” Elizabeth picked up her order pad. “I know who I am now. And no one is going to change that. Not ever again.”

Cosmopolitan Hotel: Lobby

AJ stood from his seat when Carly strode out of the elevators. “Make it quick,” his ex-wife barked as she approached him, her arms crossed tightly. “If you’re not here to give me back my son—”

“I don’t want to be at odds with you, Carly,” AJ murmured. “I want us to figure out a way to resolve this without—without making Michael’s life more complicated.”

“Then give him back—”

That’s not on the table,” he said quietly. Her lips pressed into a thin line. “I have my rights back. And until you petition the court to vacate Jason’s guardianship, legally, you can’t say anything about where Michael goes. Who he sees.”

“Jason will come around. He always does. He’s just mad at me right now.”

And AJ knew that was probably true. That his time was limited to make an agreement with Carly. Jason had stood by him so far, but eventually—eventually Jason would give in.

He always took Carly’s side.

“That could be weeks. Or least until you tell him what’s going on and where you’ve been since April.” AJ held his hands up, palms facing her. “Michael is asking about you. We—we told him you were alive. And he’s so happy, Carly. God, he missed you.”

“I missed him, too. And I—”

“I’ve been sober a year.” AJ took his chip out. The small gold chip that meant almost as much to him as the wedding ring he wore. “I know why you’re scared. What happened two years ago, Carly, I can’t—”

“You killed my son. You’re lucky you’re alive,” Carly hissed. She snatched the chip out of his hand. “This? This doesn’t mean a damn thing to me. Easy come, easy go.”

And then she flicked it away, sending it rolling across the lobby floor until it disappeared under a sofa.

He followed its progress, noting exactly where it had landed, and then looked back at Carly. At the smug, arrogant set of her features. “You really think Jason is going to come through for you, don’t you?”

“He always does. He just—” Carly’s lips trembled just a moment—just long enough for the mask to slip. For AJ to see that she wasn’t…quite as convinced as she said she was. “He’s just mad at me right now,” she repeated. “He’ll get over it.”

“Not until you tell him what happened.” AJ paused. “But if he does try to take Michael—it’s not going to be like before. I’m going to fight you, Carly. I gave you ammunition to keep Michael before. The warehouse fire. The…” His throat closed. “The stairs. My drinking. But none of those were the reasons you kept Michael from me in the beginning—”

“Don’t even try me—”

“You lied to keep Tony Jones happy. And then you lied because I was angry. Because you—” He dipped his head. “You destroyed my life. You…you made me think I was drinking again, Carly. To make your life easier, you made me think I had thrown away everything I had worked on. You were my friend. And you destroyed my life.”

“I had—” Carly closed her mouth. “Don’t blame me for your damage. I never forced you to pick up a bottle.”

“No,” AJ said softly. “But you made me think I had. I’ve never been in a good position to fight you, Carly. I am now. I have a good job. I have a good relationship with my family.” With Jason, for now, but AJ wasn’t hopeful it would last once Jason had forgiven Carly. “I don’t want to drag Michael through court. I think we could make something work between us—”

“Michael is my son. If you don’t give him back to me, then Jason will make you.”

“He can try.” AJ sighed. “You know where I live, Carly, if you change your mind.”

And with that, he strode away, moved the sofa, retrieved his chip, and left.

He would wait to see what Jason decided, but having had a taste of Michael in his life again—there was nothing in the world that could make him give that up.

Friday, August 30, 2002

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Elizabeth set the coffee down in front of Bobbie and then sat across from her. “I haven’t seen you much this week,” she said to her landlord. “How…how are you?”

“Oh…” Bobbie sighed, stirring some cream and sugar into the mug. “I’m surviving. Lucas is speaking me again. Apparently, since Carly didn’t move back in with us and Michael is still with AJ, he feels like he can trust me.”

“I know he’s struggled with Carly for several years,” Elizabeth said. She sipped her own iced tea. “So you…haven’t seen her?”

“Not since that first night. Have you?”

“Not since Sunday when she came to the house. Courtney said AJ went to talk to her, but—Carly thinks Jason is gonna fix everything so—” Elizabeth shrugged. Sat back. “She wasn’t in a negotiating mood.”

“God.” Bobbie pressed her fingertips to her temples. “And Jason told me he still hasn’t gotten anything out of her. Not for lack of trying, of course. I don’t understand. Why won’t she just—why won’t she tell us—”

Elizabeth sipped her water. What did it say about her that she just couldn’t dredge up any real interest in where Carly had been? Or why she wouldn’t tell Jason or anyone else? Yeah, maybe it hadn’t been Carly’s fault, but what was Elizabeth supposed to do about it? She’d reached out to the insufferable woman and had had her hand slapped for it.

And her every waking moment for the last six days had been steeped in the drama of Carly’s life. Which was fine, she supposed. It was only the first few days, and Carly had returned from the dead. She couldn’t hold Bobbie’s emotional state or Jason’s agitation against them.

But Carly had called Jason again the night before. And Jason had, again, dropped everything to go talk to her. Then Jason hadn’t come back, and from the way Bobbie was talking—there was still no update on where Carly had been. Which meant she still wasn’t talking.

“She hasn’t made any legal moves to get Michael back?” Elizabeth asked.

Bobbie frowned. “No—I think—she must think she’ll bring Jason around without—Are you—are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I’m not—I’m not the one going through any of this, Bobbie. I’m upset for you. For Jason. And for AJ and Michael. But beyond that…” Elizabeth fiddled with the napkin on the table in front of her. “This doesn’t really affect me.”

She avoided the redhead’s eyes when Bobbie squinted at her. Elizabeth continued, “Jason will figure it out eventually. Either he’ll find a way to make Carly tell the truth or she’ll do something even worse and the truth will come out anyway.”

Bobbie pressed her lips. “You…things are all right with Jason, aren’t they? Not that I pay attention to these things, but you haven’t been home much this week—”

“I’ve been staying at my studio. Painting. Getting in some time before classes start next Tuesday. It’s my last semester, so I’ll be swamped between classes and work.” Elizabeth set the napkin down, ignoring the tears and twists her fingers had made. “Jason’s been busy. I didn’t expect anything less.”

“Has he—”

“Worrying about Carly is a full-time job,” Elizabeth said with a false smile. “You know that.”

“I do,” Bobbie said slowly. “Jason—you know he’s worried about Michael—”

“He is. Which is why Michael is still with AJ.” For now. Elizabeth cleared her throat. “She calls him. He goes to talk to her. He’s not making much headway, I don’t think, but he will. You know how stubborn Jason can be.”

“I do,” Bobbie repeated. “But—”

“It’ll work out.” Elizabeth got to her feet. “Jason will fix this, Bobbie. He always does.”

“Elizabeth—”

“I have to get back to work.”

Cosmopolitan Hotel: Carly’s Suite

When Carly swung open her hotel room door and glared at him, Sonny remembered how he had hated her once. How he had seen a bitter, venomous viper whose only redeeming quality was her fierce loyalty to Michael.

He thought he had found a heart underneath all that anger and vindictiveness—that she had shown a mask to the world, but that he knew the vulnerable woman underneath.

And now he wondered if they had all just been fooled.

“Carly.”

“We have nothing to say to one another—” She started to slam the door shut, but Sonny slapped a hand against it and stopped it. “How did you even get up here? Did you bribe someone?”

Sonny just flashed her a smile. “I’m a friendly guy.”

“We have nothing to say to each other,” Carly repeated. “You said it all when you kicked me out. When you walked away from Michael—”

“Uh uh. You do not get to make me the bad guy here, Carly. I was generous in our divorce settlement, and I got AJ to surrender his rights—”

She snorted. “A lot of good it did me—”

“I am not the one who walked away from him for five months.” Sonny tipped his head to the side. “What I can’t figure out is whether it was on purpose or…something that got out of hand. You trying to get my attention? Is that what this is about?”

“Please.” Carly rolled her eyes and walked back into the room. He followed her, closing the door. “You were just Jason in a fancy suit.”

Sonny studied her. There was something to that statement of course—they had become closer when Jason wasn’t available. Wasn’t in town. And he liked the finer things in life. Had a lot of money.

“You trying to get Jason to come home? He’d have to come home for Michael. Did you fake your death for that?”

“Maybe.” Carly lifted her chin. “What do you care?”

“I don’t,” Sonny said. “I care about Jason. And Michael.” And Elizabeth, but that wouldn’t be useful to say. “You ask someone to help you? They turn on you, wouldn’t let you leave? Because if you wanted Jason to come home, you probably should have revealed yourself before he started dating Elizabeth—”

“Like she’s competition,” Carly muttered. She lifted a glass of wine to her lips, but her fingers were trembling. “I know what I’m doing, Sonny. And it’s none of your damn business.”

“You think Jason will forgive you for putting Michael through this? For making Bobbie bury another daughter?” He shrugged. “Even if he did, it doesn’t change anything. He doesn’t love you. He told himself he did. But he knows better now.”

“What, his little twit loves him better?” she snarled, whirling to glare at him. “Because everyone is better than me, right?”

“You said it, I didn’t.” Sonny squinted. “You’re not going to dangle Michael in front of him like candy. It didn’t work four years ago, Carly. It’s not working now. He’s moved on.”

“Whatever—”

“Whatever you’re up to, Carly, just stop. You know the only people you ever end up hurting are yourself, Michael, and Jason. I don’t know what happed in April, Carly. I don’t—I don’t know if I can believe you did it on purpose.” Sonny exhaled slowly. “You love Michael too much.”

Carly just stared at him, her eyes burning with hatred. “You don’t know a damn thing about me, Sonny. You never did. I was just a toy for you to play with when you got bored. You wanted me to be someone else. Jason will give me my son back. He always comes back to me. And you know that.”

“Carly—”

“Let him have his fun with Elizabeth. Because he’ll get bored eventually. Just like he did with the princess. He’ll remember how good we had it. How close we were to having it all—”

“And then he’ll remember why you don’t. Because you accused him of kidnapping, Carly. And then you married his brother. And Jason lost Michael. And then you and I broke his heart. His trust.” Sonny shook his head. “You know it’s never been the same. He’s never trusted either of us the same way again.”

“Sonny—”

“Jason might have been halfway in love with you, God knows why at the moment, but you burned him to the ground, Carly. No one else. You might want to blame Robin or Elizabeth, but the truth of the matter is no one took Jason from you. You destroyed him. You’re not doing it again—”

“Yeah, well, we’ll see about that.” Carly stalked past him and jerked open her door. “You can go.”

Sonny stopped at the threshold and looked back at her. “We loved each other once,” he said quietly. “And we lost our little boy. I loved him, Carly. And I hated AJ for a long time. I still do,” he admitted. “But whatever is going on, Carly, Jason and I can’t help you until you’re honest with us.”

“I don’t owe you anything—”

“Maybe not. But you owe Jason.”

Elizabeth’s Studio

Elizabeth pushed the key into the lock and turned back to Jason with a smile. “I’m glad you called—that we could go for a ride.”

When he followed her in, she turned to face him and leaned up to kiss him. Jason kicked the door closed behind him with one booted foot as he pushed her light jacket from her shoulders.

“I’ve missed you,” she murmured as she tugged his shirt upwards.

“I—”

And then his phone rang. With a mutter, Jason stepped away, dug his phone from his pocket. “It’s Carly.”

Of course it was. Carly must have fucking radar, Elizabeth thought bitterly as Jason answered. Never failed. As soon as she and Jason had a minute to themselves—there she was.

Maybe she was watching them.

“Carly—I can’t—What? All right. Yeah. I’ll—” Jason cast a look at her, and she just arched a brow. “I’ll be there.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes. Of course he would.

“I have to—”

“Did you ask how high first?” she bit out, cutting him off. When he just blinked at her in confusion, Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Carly said jump, didn’t she? So, go.”

“Elizabeth—”

“She’s not going to tell you anything.” She grabbed her jacket from the floor and tossed it over the sofa. “You’ll go over there, and she’ll try to guilt you. And eventually you’re going to think that the only way Carly will tell you the truth is if you get Michael back for her—”

“Hey—”

Elizabeth faced him, jabbing her finger at him. “I am not Robin.”

He scowled. “What the hell does that mean?”

“I am not going to let Carly run my life until I loathe the sight of her and you. I don’t care where Carly was. I only care how it effects the people I love. And that includes you. And Bobbie and Michael. She does not get to waltz back in here like she wasn’t dead for five months, Jason. You grieved for her. And now it’s like—”

She closed her eyes. “It’s like we’re all just treating this like another episode in the Carly show. Well, Carly screwed up again. Let’s bail her out—”

“Is that what you think I’m doing—”

“You are drowning in guilt because Carly made you promise something completely stupid five years ago,” Elizabeth shot back. “But you know what? You promised her she could keep Michael, and she abandoned you. She walked out on you to deal with Michael on your own. And you raised him. He was your son. You made a promise to him to love him—”

Her voice broke. “And you’re so pissed at yourself because you broke a promise to Carly. Why the hell should that matter? Why isn’t Michael more important—”

“He is—” Jason sliced a hand through the air, all but growling in response. “Have I even once said I’ll get Michael back for her—”

“No. But you’re thinking about it,” Elizabeth said flatly. “You’re thinking if you can clean this up, if you can find out how Carly is in trouble this time, maybe you can make her understand why AJ has custody and everyone can live happily ever after—”

“I—”

“And it hasn’t once crossed your mind that maybe Carly doesn’t deserve to get Michael back at all,” she continued, scathingly. “Nothing AJ has ever done to Michael could be as bad as what Carly’s done to him. She’s used that little boy as a meal ticket for five years. She nearly got Sonny thrown in jail and still sued him for child support and alimony. She played you and AJ against each other after she got done drop kicking Tony Jones—”

“What—” Jason held up his hands. He took a deep breath. “Wait. Let’s just…let’s just stop this for a minute, okay? Let’s—”

“I get it, okay?” he continued when Elizabeth said nothing. “Carly has…Carly hasn’t done much for me except…” Destroy his life on a regular basis. “And you’re right. I do feel guilty because it’s one thing not to keep my promise when I thought she was dead, it’s another to actively keep her from Michael. But me feeling guilty, Elizabeth? It’s not gonna change anything. Because you’re right. I don’t know where Carly has been. Or why she was gone for so long. Maybe it wasn’t her fault. I don’t know. What I know is that Michael is safe where he is. Happy. And that has to come first with me. It does. It’s just—”

“Then why do you go every time she calls?” Elizabeth demanded. “Every single time. What’s going to change this time, Jason? Why do you magically think that this time Carly is gonna tell the truth?”

“I—”

“Because she’s won’t. She’s manipulating you. And I’m done watching.” Elizabeth nodded towards the door. “So, go.”

“What does that mean?” Jason demanded. “If I go, what, we’re done? What the hell does one thing have to do with another?”

“I will not play Robin’s role in this ridiculous farce,” Elizabeth said. “You humiliated her, Jason. You know that. And you drove her away. Because you kept letting Carly get away with everything. I don’t understand it and I don’t want to. Whatever is between the two of you—that’s not friendship. It’s sick. And I’m tired of it.”

“It’s been a goddamn week, Elizabeth—”

“It’s been years,” Elizabeth said, her teeth clenched. “Years. Because yeah, she’s been back for a week. But you’ve been playing her games for years.”

“Damn it—”

“I am done,” she repeated. “Because this will never change. Because if this—if you forgive her for this, if you take that little boy away from AJ because you think it will make Carly tell you the truth—”

“I never said I would do that—” But he looked away.

“Yeah, I’m not an idiot. I know you, Jason. I know how you think. And I know Carly. I can practically see the gears turning in her head. She keeps calling you when we’re together, Jason. Hasn’t that crossed your mind? Does she call you when you’re with Sonny? When you’re at work?”

“I—”

“No. She calls you when you’re with me. Because she wants to see if she can still make you dance to her tune. And you’re doing it. You are walking away from me to go to her.” Her eyes burned. “This is call number five. How long do I have to put up with it before you think it’s okay for me to be upset about it? Ten? Twenty? She’s never going to tell you where she was, Jason.”

“She will—”

“She won’t. Not until she’s backed into a corner. And you’re letting her off the hook. Because it’s Carly, right? She does insane things. Awful things. But she always has a reason, right?”

“Elizabeth—”

“She’s watching you. Or someone is watching you. Because she knows when we’re together. And she knew where AJ and Courtney lived. She still has her goddamn cell phone and that should be at the bottom of the fucking lake. She faked her death, Jason. I don’t give a shit how she did or if whoever helped her turned against her. Kept her away—you think because you and Sonny don’t tell me what you’re thinking, I don’t know?”

Jason held up a hand. “I don’t want to argue with you, Elizabeth. C’mon.” His voice softened. “I love you—”

“I love you, too, but you know what? I love me more. I have to put myself first. And if I honestly thought it was just…it was just going to be these couple of days, if I thought that we were just—going to have to keep our heads down until Carly came clean, then maybe I could deal with it.”

She closed her eyes. “But you know I’m not crazy. Because when it comes to Carly, there will be a next time. There is always a next time. You’ve been on this ride for five years, Jason. Maybe you like it. Maybe you like that she sees you as some kind of superhero that can fix anything. But I’m not playing back up. So, if you want to go and have another useless conversation with Carly while she just tries to guilt you—” She gestured to the door. “Be my guest.”

Jason took a deep breath. “She’s in trouble, Elizabeth. And Michael—we need to know the answers for his sake—”

“Stop. Do not use Michael.” The tears were hot as they slid down her cheeks. “You’re better than that. You need to fix this for her. Stop lying to yourself. You’ve made saving Carly your life’s mission, and you don’t know how to stop. It’s your life, Jason. You get to do what you want. But I do not have to stand by and watch.”

“Elizabeth—”

She walked past him, pulled the door open. “You should go. Because if you stay now, it’ll be because I’m upset. But you want to go. I can see it.”

He exhaled slowly. “I just have to-I’ll—I’ll tell her that this is it. This is the last time—”

“I think you honestly believe that,” she murmured as Jason passed her. “But it never is. There’s always a next time.”

She closed the door even as he was opening his mouth to say something else. And shoved the bolt home.

Elizabeth pressed her forehead against the door. It was the right decision, she knew that. She needed to make herself clear. To put herself first.

She just wished it didn’t hurt so damn much.

February 7, 2018

This entry is part 16 of 35 in the Bittersweet

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m gonna fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it’s coming down, down, down
Down, Jason Walker


Sunday, August 25, 2002

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

It was just after eight in the morning when Jason stepped off the elevator on the fifth floor and found Bobbie behind the nurse’s station, a pen in her hand, a stack of paperwork in front of her. Her familiar red hair was tugged back, and her face was bare, her eyes exhausted.

She raised her eyes as he approached.

“If it’s possible,” she murmured, “you look worse than I feel.” She capped her pen and gestured to the waiting area. “I’m sorry. I know you were at the Brownstone last night, but I just…”

Jason waited until she had perched on the edge of the sofa before speaking. “It’s okay. It was…” He shook his head. “I don’t even know. I haven’t really…processed it yet.”

“I saw Elizabeth and Gia this morning. They told me that you’d caught up to Carly at AJ and Courtney’s. I—I didn’t tell her the address.” Bobbie hesitated before continuing. “At least, I don’t think I did. I’m not even sure I know the house number, just the neighborhood and what the house looks like—” She cut off, closed her eyes. “I can’t. I can’t think straight. I don’t know how to deal with this either, Jason.”

“I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing with Michael,” he admitted. “I know Elizabeth thinks I am, but I don’t know, she’s never liked Carly—and—” He stopped. “I don’t mean—”

“I know what you mean.” Bobbie took his hand, squeezed it. “You and I are the only ones, I think, that have seen the real Carly. That appreciated the person behind the anger. The desperation. The insanity. Elizabeth…made her peace with Carly, but she never liked her much. And the feeling was mutual.” Bobbie was so weary. So beyond it all.

“I know the length you’ve gone to make sure Carly kept custody of Michael,” she said slowly. “So, if you think leaving him with AJ is the right decision, I’ll defend you. I promise.” She pressed a hand to her cheek, closing her eyes. “I buried her, Jason. Not her body. But I planned a memorial service. I purchased a stone. She’s supposed…she’s supposed to be resting next to BJ. I can’t do this again, I just can’t.”

“I’ll find out what’s going on—”

“From the moment she showed up in my life, there hasn’t been a moment’s peace,” Bobbie continued softly. “Her affair with Tony, her need to ruin my life…Michael’s kidnapping, going away to Ferncliffe…the paternity mess, and God, her accusing you of kidnapping. Marrying AJ. Losing that baby. Turning Sonny into the feds…” She looked at Jason. “I’m exhausted. And my son looks at me like he hates me.”

And for Bobbie to be at the end of her rope—Bobbie who had always seemed to find more patience, more love for Carly—Jason felt less…alone.

Because he and Bobbie were the only ones who had always managed to support Carly. To find the reason, the explanation for the crazy plans and destruction. Because there always had been a reason.

“I don’t know what Carly’s planning,” Jason said after a long moment of silence. “But I’m not going to let her put Michael in the middle. Not again. I—I left Port Charles to keep her from using Michael against me. Robin—” He shook his head, not quite believing he’d come around to knowing Robin had been right.

“Robin told AJ the truth because she thought it meant Carly couldn’t manipulate me anymore. But I’ve let her do it anyway.”

“Michael’s been better for it,” Bobbie said with a sad smile. “Your postcards you’ve sent—and I told him stories while you were gone. Showed him the pictures. I read from those travel books you left for him. He knew you, Jason, when you came back.”

“She thought I would always take her side,” Jason told her. “That I would do whatever she wanted me to do because it was best for Michael. But it’s not this time. He’s…he’s okay with AJ and Courtney. And he was doing okay with you and Lucas at the Brownstone. It’s Carly who’s taken apart his life. I don’t know—I can’t believe she’d leave him willingly, but if she doesn’t tell me what happened…”

“She’s going to force you to take sides, Jason.” Bobbie covered his hand with hers. “I don’t know if it’s going to go to a court hearing, but you know it might. You’ll be asked—”

“And I’ll do what’s right for Michael.” Even if went against everything Jason had fought for all those years ago. “No matter what it is.” He hesitated. “Will you?”

“I’m hesitant to do anything that will make Carly…worse,” Bobbie admitted. “But he’s my grandson, and I want better for him. And right now, that’s to stay where he is.” She sighed. “I should get back to work. Do…” She hesitated. “I almost want to ask if you know where she’s staying, but you know what? I don’t think I can deal with it right now. I don’t think I have the energy.”

Brownstone: Living Room

“It’s not that I mind sitting at Bobbie’s all day—she’s got a better cable package than we do—but how do we even know Carly will show up?” Gia said as she flipped through the channels.

Elizabeth grimaced when her roommate found a rerun of Sex and the City to watch and then resumed peering through the lacy curtains at the sidewalk out front. “We don’t. But I doubt she’s going to go near Jason today.”

“Yeah?” Gia tipped her head, intrigued. “You’d think he would have been her first stop. I mean, I didn’t live in Port Charles when she had his balls on a chain around her neck, but I do remember the way she talked about him when I was at Deception.”

“Yeah, well, Carly also has a sense of when to back off. It never lasts long,” Elizabeth added. “And eventually she talks herself into thinking Jason will take her side this time, but…” She sighed and turned away from the window. “I don’t know. I thought she’d grown out of all of this. Reacting first. Never thinking anything through.” She shrugged. “You remember when I told you about that December in my studio?”

“When you were hiding Jason’s gunshot from everyone and letting everyone think you were doing the nasty? Yeah. He and Carly were still…” Gia wiggled her fingers. “Doing whatever.”

“She’d come barging in, trying to intimidate me. Like I gave a shit about what she said. She’d throw Lucky’s death in my face or talk about how I was just a little girl.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “And then Jason would tell her to get the hell out. She’d do it. And then maybe two days later, she’d be back. He was supposed to be in hiding and she knew that. She still pulled the fire alarm to get him out of my building. But she did that with everything. She told everyone Jason was Michael’s father because she panicked. Told the Q’s that Jason kidnapped Michael, basically. Married AJ.”

“One woman walking disaster. Got it. So, she knows how to take Jason’s temperature. Figures the guilt will set in.” Gia nodded. “But coming back here?”

“She also knows Bobbie has a soft spot for her. I remember when it came out that Carly was Bobbie’s daughter.” Elizabeth pursed her lips. “It was just…before that Valentine’s Day, so I was still kind into all the gossip at that point, you know? And Bobbie flipped out at first. But…”

“But Carly was her daughter.”

“And Bobbie’s always had a blind spot for her.” Elizabeth bit her lip. “I just…I don’t know. You knew Carly this last year. She was different, wasn’t she?”

“I guess.” Gia hesitated. “But you know, she didn’t have a choice, you know? Jason was gone. And Bobbie supports her, but even that has its limits. Sonny just…he never looked back after she pulled that shit last year. Carly didn’t have anyone to save her this time. Anyone to turn to. So, she had to rely on herself. Had to get it together. I would have thought she was doing well, but….” Gia bit her lip. “I just don’t know.”

“Yeah, well, the Carly I saw last night—that’s the Carly I got to know after Jason got shot. She’d ripped his heart out by sleeping with his best friend after marrying his brother and taking away his son. He just wanted her to go away, to give him space. And she just kept going after him. Because she only cared about herself. What she wanted. What was important to her.”

“And Jason has a blind spot for her, too.”

“Always. I could see it last night when he was trying to give her an excuse for what happened. But Carly didn’t see that. Didn’t see how upset he was. Or hurt he was. She never does. It was all about her again.” Elizabeth rubbed her head. “And that’s when she’s the most dangerous, Gia. I don’t know where the hell she’s been, but you know what? I don’t know if I even care. I just don’t want her to go after Jason. She’s never made him a target, you know. He’s always been collateral damage.”

A car door distracted them both from the conversation and Gia parted the curtains with a smirk. “Score one for you, Webber,” she murmured as they watched Carly stalk up the front steps. “You do know her.”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth sighed as they heard the locks turn and the door shove open. “God help me, I do.”

Carly turned the corner from the front hallway into the living room, her eyes already snapping with the same anger as the night before. “Where’s my mother?” she demanded.

“Not here,” Elizabeth said plainly, remaining seated in the arm chair. “Can I help you, Carly?”

“You—” Carly took in a deep breath. “You can tell me why the hell my son is with that asshole—”

“I’ll be happy to tell you anything you want to know,” Elizabeth said with a friendly smile. “But you have to answer my questions too—”

Carly snorted. Dismissed with a wave of her hand “Whatever little girl—”

“You’re underestimating me, Carly. Again.” Elizabeth tipped her head. “I live with your mother. I babysat Michael. I’m dating Jason. Courtney is one of my best friends. I know exactly why Michael is with AJ.”

Carly hesitated at that, her eyes narrowing. “You’re dating Jason.”

“Yep.”

“And it’s all thanks to you, Carly,” Gia said. “If you hadn’t died, Jason wouldn’t have come home.”

“Gia—” Elizabeth looked at her. “Don’t help.”

“Sorry. Couldn’t resist.”

“I want my son,” Carly said flatly. “Unless you’re going to help me with that—”

“Carly, Bobbie buried you,” Elizabeth cut in. She rose to her feet. “She ordered a headstone and laid you to rest next to BJ. So, let’s cut the bullshit. I don’t know where the hell you were, and as I was just telling Gia, I don’t particularly care—”

“Of course not. You know that I’m a threat to you.” Carly flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I’m single. Jason’s home—”

Gia burst into hysterical laughter while Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “It’s like time travel,” she told Gia. “She still thinks Jason is some sort of toy you can take from someone. You know what she told me once?”

“Damn it,” Carly hissed.

“What?” Gia asked, ignoring Carly.

“She told me she’d gotten rid of one little angel, and I was next—” Elizabeth offered a sickly-sweet smile at Carly. “Haven’t gotten rid of me yet, have you?”

“Day’s still young,” Carly growled, stepping towards her. But Elizabeth never backed up. Never gave an inch.

The first rule of dealing with Carly was to never show weakness. She would only use it against you later.

“Bobbie buried you,” Elizabeth repeated. “And Jason grieved. Michael cried. For days. Do you know what it’s like to explain to a five-year-old about Heaven?”

At that, Carly blinked and closed her eyes. Her shoulders slumped. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah. We all worked hard to make sure that Michael was okay.” Elizabeth folded her arms, looked away. Because this was the Carly that always seemed the most genuine—the one who did honestly love her son. “Lucas played video games with him. I colored. Jason read to him. Bobbie cuddled him. We’ve tried to fill the void, Carly. But he loves you. He misses you.”

“I want my son,” Carly said, but this time her voice broke. “I want him back.”

“Then I need you to think about what you’re doing right now,” Elizabeth told her. “You showed up in the middle of the night, flipping out on everyone. We’re not idiots, Carly. You knew AJ had him before you showed up here. Which means you went after your mother just to attack her. You went to Sonny so that he damn well knew you were alive. And then you went to a house whose address you could not have possibly known.”

“I—” Carly pressed her lips together. “You don’t understand.”

“I don’t have to. It’s not my decision to make. You left Jason guardianship, Carly. And I know you didn’t do that just to stick it to AJ. You did that because Jason loves him. So I need you to remember how much Jason loves Michael—”

But it was the wrong angle to pursue, and whatever ground Elizabeth had gained was lost.

“He promised me that he would make sure I always had my son,” Carly said, her teeth clenched. The anger back in her eyes. “He promised me that AJ wouldn’t—”

“You were dead. And the situation changed,” Elizabeth said bluntly. “If you want to know how and why, then I’ll tell you. But you need to tell Jason where you’ve been. You need to tell him what’s going on. He can’t help you if you don’t talk to him.”

“I don’t need him to help me.” Carly turned abruptly and headed for the door.

“Carly—”

“I want my son back,” Carly shot back. “You tell Jason that if he doesn’t give me back my son, I’ll make him. And he’ll be sorry he lied to me.”

The door slammed so hard that the frame cracked.

“Well, that could have gone worse,” Gia said with a bright smile. “Time for the wine?”

“Shit.” Elizabeth looked at her watch. It was only noon, but — “It’s five o’clock somewhere.”

AJ & Courtney’s House: Living Room

Michael took the news with a bit of confusion. He thought people didn’t come back from Heaven, and if his mommy could, did that mean his little brother could? And how come his grandma Bobbie’s other daughter couldn’t come back?

These were not questions AJ could answer, but thank God, Courtney had managed to tell Michael that they had all been mistaken. That Carly hadn’t been in her car, so she’d never gone to heaven in the first place.

Okay, Michael had said, but then where had his mommy been?

And for that, Courtney couldn’t bring herself to lie. And neither could AJ. So they’d just…given that time-honored answer you’ll understand when you’re older and that Michael could see his mother as soon as everyone agreed on a good time.

“Should I be concerned that he took that so well?” AJ asked as he watched Michael’s uncle Lucas lead him into the family room, an Xbox game under his arm. Thank God for Lucas Jones, who somehow always knew when to show up with a video game.

“I think he’s been through so much that it’s just another event. And he’s young,” Courtney offered, biting at the nail on her thumb. “Children are resilient.”

He shouldn’t have to be resilient, AJ thought bitterly, and he spent every minute of the morning terrified Carly would show up to take him. That Jason would change his mind. He had visitation with Michael as long as Jason allowed it. That was the agreement, and AJ had been okay with it.

It had been a way to give Jason control over Michael’s safety. For them all to learn how to trust one another. And now…and now it was different.

Carly was back.

Oh, God, he still couldn’t wrap his mind around this.

“Jason isn’t going to change his mind,” Courtney said, dragging AJ out of his dismal thoughts. “And even if he did, we’d wouldn’t be back to square one.” She tugged him down on the sofa and sat next to him. “You have your parental rights back. And a year of sobriety under your belt. If Jason changes his mind, he’ll have to take Michael away.”

“He could do it,” AJ murmured, clasping his hands in front of his mouth, resting his elbows on his knees. “He could—”

“And then we’ll go to court. And Carly is the negligent parent right now,” Courtney said. “She’s the one who’s been gone for five months. And she’s the one who showed up with no word, won’t tell us where she’s been. AJ—”

“I’m sorry. I can’t seem to—”

It had been only three months since Michael had been back in his life. A month since the little boy had looked at him with hopeful eyes, calling him Daddy. AJ had showed him pictures of the brief year that he’d been allowed to be Michael’s father.

And the overnight visits had been fun, and it had seemed easy to be his father again. To watch Courtney happy and smiling with his son. To think of maybe…maybe having more children.

God, he wanted the chance to be a father from the ground floor.

“I get it’s hard for you to trust that Jason sees you differently,” Courtney said. “And maybe it’s easier for me since I didn’t know him before. But he doesn’t lie, right? That’s supposed to be his thing. And I know how hard he struggled to give you a chance. He and Elizabeth argued. I argued with her. He made the choice to support you, AJ. He came to your chip ceremony.”

AJ’s chest eased then and he closed his eyes.

“You’re the one who didn’t take the drink…you did the work.”

She rose to answer the door when someone knocked, leaving AJ to think about that. To consider actually trusting that he’d done enough this time to make Jason look at him as a new person. As someone other than the asshole who’d nearly killed him.

“Hey, Junior.”

AJ looked up to see Courtney showing Ned into the living room. He rose to his feet. “I guess…I guess you heard.”

“I did. It’s in the newspapers.” Ned held up the headlines. “They must have rushed to get the story published. Grandfather almost had a coronary, and Alan and Monica are…concerned. I told them I’d come over and check on you.”

Which meant the rest of the family would be held at bay. AJ hesitated and then gave Ned a quick recap of Carly’s erratic visit the night before—and Jason’s support in leaving Michael asleep in his room.

“You won’t just have Jason in your corner,” Ned said, tossing the newspaper down. “I know you’ve had your issues with the way Grandfather…shows his love. God knows I have, too. But he was proud of you getting your chip. And Grandmother is, too. And you impressed him…winning Michael’s custody on your own.”

“I didn’t—” AJ nodded. “I mean, I guess I did. But Jason gave me a chance—”

“Another factor which has not gone unnoticed. Monica is particularly pleased that her children might yet like one another at the same time in the same room.” Ned offered a half smile. “I don’t know what Carly is up to, but I’ve known her long enough to be sure it’s something. Grandfather wanted me to tell you that however you want to handle this, you tell us. And we’ll follow.”

Courtney blinked at that and then looked at AJ. “Seriously?”

And even though AJ had told himself he didn’t want or need his family’s approval—knowing he had it—that he had their trust—something inside him relaxed.

It was different this time. He was a better man. A sober man. A man worthy of having his son. And for the moment, he had allies.

“Right now, we’re sitting back,” AJ told him. “Jason’s right. Legally, Carly’s will has gone into probate. The court has recognized him as Michael’s guardian. My parental rights were reinstated. The custody agreement simply states I get visitation when Jason gives it. And for now, he’s leaving Michael here. I think he wants to see what Carly will do next.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Ned picked up the newspaper again, studied the photo of Carly above the fold. “And this…this next part isn’t a quid pro quo, it’s just…”

“The Quartermaines want to see Michael,” Courtney said flatly.

“It’s not a condition for their support,” Ned told AJ. “It’s just…you’re not the only one who lost Michael when Carly divorced you. He lived in that house for a year. Grandmother fell in love with him. And so did Alan and Monica. And you know Grandfather—”

“I know.” And AJ could understand that. “It’s something I’d want to talk to Jason about, and to be honest—”

“You’ve got enough on your plate. Well, just keep it in mind and let us know if we can do anything.”

When Courtney came back from walking Ned out, she bit her lip. “I guess it’s because I know they still don’t really like me—”

“You’re suspicious,” AJ said with a nod. “I am, too. But I think it’s because I’ve never had unqualified approval from my family. They’ve always had a string attached. I hope that’s not true this time. Ned’s right. The entire family lost Michael when my marriage fell apart. But I promised Jason that if he gave me a chance with Michael, I’d make sure he never had to be under that pressure.”

He exhaled slowly. “And that’s one promise I’m going to keep. Michael is never…for one moment…going to think he has to do anything to earn my love. All he has to do is exist.”

Brownstone: Front Steps

Elizabeth had a glass of wine in her hand when Jason parked his bike. That was probably not a good sign. His men had followed Carly to the Brownstone earlier that day—the blonde had stayed for all of ten minutes before storming out.

And Elizabeth had told him she would be at the Brownstone most of the day in case Carly came back.

“Hey, how was your day?” Elizabeth asked, with a smirk as she finished the last of the liquid in her glass. “Pretty sure I can make it worse.”

Jason climbed the steps and sat next to her. “Well, you talked to Carly and I didn’t, I’m sure that’s true.”

She offered him the wine bottle. “You want some? It might make it better.”

He shook his head, though if she’d offered vodka or a beer, he might—he might have taken it. It wasn’t often that he understood why AJ and people like him drowned their problems in alcohol, but tonight—

Tonight, he had never understood AJ more.

“So the guard on Carly said she didn’t stay long.”

“No. I didn’t—” Elizabeth hesitated. “I didn’t mean to fight with her, Jason. I was just—I wanted to tell her about Bobbie grieving. And I thought if I could just tell her how sad Michael was—but she came in all pissed off and angry. And she was…” She bit her lip. “Bitchy.”

Jason sighed, dipping his head. It was too much to hope that Elizabeth would have been able to get through to Carly. The two women had been at war for years, and he’d seen how the normally kind and compassionate Elizabeth could go toe to toe with Carly without blinking.

“What happened?” he asked.

She tensed. “She wanted me to tell her why Michael was with AJ, and I told her I would. We talked about that. That I would tell her about the chances you were facing in court if I saw her before you—”

“I know, Elizabeth.” And because he could see the unhappiness in her eyes, the slump in her shoulders, Jason took her hand in his. “Hey. I know you and Carly don’t get along. I didn’t think it would magically solve anything for you guys to talk. And I know that Carly has a way of making people—”

“She just—” She huffed. “It’s not important. I told her that I would tell her if she told you where she was, and I guess—I mean I was trying to convince her that I would have those answers, so I told her we were dating—”

Yeah, that probably hadn’t helped though Jason wasn’t sure how it could have been avoided.

“—so she said that I was threatened by her because she was single and you were home—and Gia sort of actually laughed at her—”

And to that, Jason couldn’t help himself. He smiled. He had never been good at imagining things, at creating pictures in his head. But sometimes…sometimes he could. And he could actually see Carly going up against Elizabeth and Gia and being pissed that she hadn’t won.

“But then I did get to tell her about Michael, and how we’d had to explain Heaven to him. She seemed—” Elizabeth bit her lip. “She seemed to listen to me then. For a minute. I told her we’d tried to be there for him. But that he missed her. And she just wanted him back, she said. So I…” She sighed. “I mean, I told her that we knew something was wrong, and that if she’d just tell you what was going on, you could help her.”

“And that didn’t get you anywhere?” Jason asked, a bit surprised. Usually Carly leapt at the chance to lay her problems at his feet. Maybe she’d been pissed last night, but—but it was a day later.

Why hadn’t she called him? Asked him for help?

“It actually seemed to make her mad again,” Elizabeth admitted. “And she left—but she said she didn’t want your help. That you were going to be sorry you lied.”

“That I lied?” Jason repeated.

“You promised her you’d always make sure she had Michael. I tried to tell her that it hadn’t been so simple—she’d been gone—I mean, maybe I could have been nicer about it, but damn it, Jason…” Elizabeth rose to her feet and stalked down the steps. She whirled around to glare at him. “I don’t like Carly.”

“That’s not news to me—”

“I thought I did. I thought—I thought I could almost understand her because you know, I’m really good at lying to people and making dumb ass choices and looking to you to fix them—”

“Elizabeth—”

“And I thought she was different before the accident, but you know what? She’s not. She’s still the same selfish bitch who destroyed Bobbie’s life and—” Elizabeth looked away. “You know what I would give to have a mother like Bobbie? Someone who always seemed to find something worthwhile in me? Whatever Bobbie’s faults, she’s stood by Carly. And this is how she repays her.” She looked at him. “And I know you don’t need me to be pissed on your behalf, but I am. I remember how much she hurt you before and maybe you forgave her, that’s your business—but I haven’t forgotten how you looked when you lost Michael. How you left town because of it.”

Jason exhaled slowly. “Elizabeth—”

“And I’m sorry because how I feel about Carly isn’t important.” Elizabeth’s hands fell to her side. “And you don’t need this right now. So I’m sorry about that.”

“I—” he hesitated. He just stared at her. “What do you want me to do?”

“I don’t want you to do anything,” she said with an irritated roll of her eyes. “I just—I’m sorry. I don’t know if I made it worse. Maybe I shouldn’t have had Gia in the room. It probably didn’t help for Carly to feel ganged up on. I just…” She bit her lip. “It’s none of my business, really. I guess.”

And he frowned at that. “Are we back to this again?”

“What?”

“I love you,” he told her, and if he’d thought the second time he’d told her that, he’d be angry with her, he wouldn’t have believed it. “But—”

She narrowed her eyes. “But what?” Elizabeth said with a bite in her tone Jason wasn’t sure he’d ever had directed at him. “But I can be a bitch sometimes?”

“No.” Jason stood. “But—” His cell phone rang, and he dug it out of his pocket to give himself time to think. And he just stared at the screen. Carly. She…still had her cell phone. Which…didn’t make sense. Her car was supposed to be at the bottom of Lake Ontario.

“Carly?”

“Jason…can we talk?”

“Yeah.” Jason rubbed the back of his neck. Turned away from Elizabeth. “Yeah. Where are you?” he asked.

Her laugh was short. Bitter. “Like you don’t know.”

“Carly—”

“I’m at the hotel. We need to settle a few things.

She hung up first, and he put his phone back in his pocket. “Carly wants to talk.”

Elizabeth stared back at him with just a tip of her head. “That’s good.”

He exhaled slowly, and then walked down the steps until he faced her on the sidewalk. “I’ll call you—”

“I’m opening at Kelly’s in the morning—I have to pick up some of Courtney’s shifts. She wants to be close to the house for a few days.” Elizabeth brushed a kiss against his cheek. “So, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

And without another word, she walked up the stairs, opened the door to the Brownstone, and closed it behind her.

January 31, 2018

This entry is part 15 of 35 in the Bittersweet

Don’t you dare look out your window darling
Everything’s on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold on to this lullaby
Even when the music’s gone

Safe and Sound, Julia Sheer


Sunday, August 25, 2002

Courtney & AJ’s House: Front Lawn

He had briefly thought of taking Elizabeth straight to the Brownstone where he knew Bobbie must be upset. Gia and Lucas were there, but Elizabeth had a way of comforting Bobbie.

But after they’d dressed in a hurry, as he listened to Elizabeth leave a voice mail for his brother, Jason swallowed the suggestion.

He wanted her with him when he found Carly. He wanted to have her next to him, to keep him grounded. To remember that Michael came first.

Elizabeth would keep him steady even as everything inside him was screaming for answers. For Sonny to be wrong. He didn’t want Carly to be dead, but if she was alive—

What the hell was going on?

He had thought by going straight to AJ and Courtney’s house, they would have time. He didn’t really know what they’d do with that time, but Carly couldn’t know where AJ lived, and there was little chance anyone other than Bobbie would let that slip.

And all Carly knew was that Michael was with AJ. Her inclination should have been to go to the mansion, which would have given Jason a chance to catch up with her. To talk to her.

To find out where she’d been. Why she had put them through all this grief.

But somewhere inside of him there had been a voice that asked—why had Carly gone to Sonny? They were divorced and out of each other’s lives. Michael rarely saw or asked about his Uncle Sonny.

Jason had guardianship. Jason was in control of her son.

So, when he turned his bike around the last corner and saw a small compact car parked halfway in AJ’s driveway, halfway in the street, he wasn’t really surprised.

He pulled the bike to a stop in front of the house, and he could hear voices from the porch. Three figures illuminated in the bright artificial porch lights.

Three.

It was real. Carly was alive.

Behind him, he felt Elizabeth climb off the bike, and he switched off the engine. But he couldn’t make his legs move. Couldn’t go towards the house.

“Jason?” Elizabeth soft voice broke into his thoughts. “Hey.” Her cool hand slid into his and he looked down into her worried eyes. “Let’s just get through this. We can…we can deal with the rest of it later.”

And he knew exactly what she meant. Michael had to come first. Jason’s answers would come later. “How did she know where they lived?” he murmured.

And that worry, that nagging suspicion that Carly was up to something gave him a reason to move.

With Elizabeth’s hand in his, they rushed up the drive and the stairs, Elizabeth doubling her steps to keep pace.

“Carly—”

But he couldn’t say anything else as his friend turned away from the united couple standing guard in front of their door.

There she was. As bright, as bold, as vivid as ever. Her blonde hair exploding into curls around her face, her brown eyes snapping with anger, her features lined with irritation. With fear.

“Oh my God, she’s really alive,” Elizabeth breathed. “Carly—”

Carly glared at her briefly, but dismissed her almost as quickly. “Jason. Thank God, you’re here. I don’t know what he said to Mama, but he has my son, and he won’t give him back—”

And AJ just closed his eyes at that. At the accusation that somehow AJ must have manipulated Bobbie. What was it like for him to always be guilty? To always be accused of the worst?

Jason swallowed hard. But maybe Carly didn’t—maybe there was an explanation. Maybe she had lost her memory. Maybe she had been wandering around, trying to find home. And when she’d remembered—

Clinging to that, to the only explanation for this that would absolve Carly, Jason asked, “Carly, do you know what the date is? How long you’ve been…away?”

Carly snorted. “I’m not crazy,” she spat at him. And her tone was familiar. He was the idiot here, he was the thick one.

Robin had sounded like that in the end.

“It’s August,” she snarled. “And I’ve been gone since April. I want to see my son!” she all but shrieked, turning her ire back at AJ who just stood there.

“Where have you been?” Jason asked. There had to be another explanation then. Maybe she knew how long she’d been gone, but still—and he closed his eyes. Grimaced.

He had to stop this.

Had to stop making excuses for Carly.

“Where have you been?” he repeated, this time, his voice was stronger. “Five months—”

“That’s none of your business,” she snapped. She started to move past AJ, tried to shove him aside, but Courtney—of all people—shoved her back.

AJ stood, his hands at his side, and Jason knew—he knew, for certain, that this was a different man. That AJ would have allowed Carly to storm inside his home if Courtney had not been there to physically hold her back. As punishment for Carly’s fall and the death of her second son.

“You don’t get to show up with no warning, call my husband a kidnapper and act like you’re the only one who matters,” Courtney said, her teeth gritted. “We told you. You tell us what the hell is going on and you can see Michael tomorrow when we’ve had a chance—”

“I’m seeing my son now! You have no right, you little goddamn twit—”

“Carly.” Jason took her elbow and almost dragged her backwards when the blonde attempted to launch herself past AJ’s wife again. “Stop it.”

“Why are you helping him?” she demanded as he turned to her, planted himself between AJ and Carly. “I left you Michael because I knew you’d protect him. What, did that little bitch bat her eyes and you didn’t have time for him?” She focused on Elizabeth now, and Jason just sighed. “You trying to step into my life because I was gone?”

“I’m not even dignifying that with a response,” Elizabeth said, and he could all but hear the roll of her eyes in that tone. “Carly, why don’t we go back to the Brownstone. Bobbie must be out of her mind with worry. She was so upset after the accident—”

“She gave my son away!” Carly cried. She met Jason’s eyes, tears sparkling on her cheeks. “You promised me. Get my son. And if you don’t, I will—”

“Legally, you’re dead,” Jason said after a moment. “And AJ’s parental rights have been reinstated, and we have a custody agreement. So, if you want to see Michael, you’re going to have to tell me what the hell is going on. Where have you been? Why did you let us think you were dead?”

“Fuck you!” Carly’s cheeks paled as she took in the rest of Jason’s words. “Custody agreement? You—you did this? You gave my son to him?”

“It’s not that simple,” AJ attempted. “I forced his hand—”

But that wasn’t true, and Jason wasn’t going to let AJ take the heat for this. He cut his brother off by raising his hand. “I promised you I would love Michael and I would always do what was best for him,” he said in a low voice. “That’s what I did.”

“And that’s AJ now? Not me?” Carly demanded, her voice raw.

“Until I know what’s going on. Where have you been?” he demanded again. “Why did you go to Sonny? And how the hell did you know where AJ lived?”

“You,” Carly said, with a lift of her chin. “Can go to hell.” She jabbed a finger at him and then swung around to face them all in turn. “You can all go to hell. I will have my son.”

She stalked away, the clicking of her boot heels harsh against the wooden porch. Her car screeched out of the driveway, nearly clipping the motorcycle, before squealing down the street.

Jason stared after her. He didn’t know what to do next. What to say.

“Jason.”

He turned to find to Elizabeth standing beside him, her arm wrapped through his. “Hey. If you want to go after her—follow her, I could stay here—”

No. He shook his head and said it out loud. “No. I—” He looked at AJ. “I don’t know what’s going on but…”

“Carly’s up to something,” AJ finished with the exhausted sigh of a man who had been the target of more than one of Carly’s plans. As her other most frequent target, Jason could understand. “I know—I know she’s always been—”

“Michael comes first,” Jason said, almost to himself. “I meant what I said to her. She’ll have to go to court to get the agreement overturned.”

“And if she doesn’t want to tell a judge where she’s been,” Elizabeth said, “I doubt it will go over well.”

And Carly was stubborn enough to tell the judge to go to hell. “Michael stays with you for now.” He met AJ’s surprised eyes. “He’s safe here. I’ll put a guy on the house to make sure she doesn’t come here and make trouble. But Carly—Carly’s on the warpath,” he said, borrowing Elizabeth’s words from earlier. “And I don’t want Michael to be a casualty. Not again.”

“All right.” AJ looked to Courtney. “You okay?”

“Me?” she repeated with wide eyes. “I’m…I’m as fine as I can be considering my husband’s dead ex-wife just showed up on our front step.” She looked over her shoulder. “I should go check on Michael.”

“I need to go…” Do something, Jason finished, but he wasn’t entirely sure what. He just knew whatever came next couldn’t be found here.

“We’ll talk tomorrow,” Elizabeth said to AJ. “Jason has to go to Sonny’s, and I meant what I said. I want to check on Bobbie. Let’s…try to get some sleep. We’ll…we’ll figure it all out tomorrow.”

“See, when you say it, it almost sounds possible.” AJ sighed again. “But yeah, let’s…let’s just figure this out tomorrow.”

He went back inside and closed his door.

Jason walked Elizabeth back to the motorcycle and handed her the helmet, but he didn’t dig his keys out of his pocket or climb on.

He stood there.

“Hey.” Elizabeth touched his shoulder. “Jason. Look at me.”

He did so, finding her eyes in the inky darkness. They were merely shadows, lit by the streetlight across the street. “Elizabeth—”

“You told me once that sometimes…things happen that are just…they’re too big to deal with at once, right? So, we just…we take a moment a time. We live through them slow. Right now…I don’t know what to feel about Carly. Angry because she’s…clearly not telling the truth. And worry. Fear. I know what she’s capable of.” She pressed a hand to his chest, to his heart. “And she doesn’t even matter to me all that much. So, I know what I’m feeling is a hundred times worse for you.”

“I just—” He sucked in a deep breath. “I thought I had changed my life, so Carly couldn’t wreck it anymore. I went away so she would stop—and I stopped loving her. I had to. It was the only way to survive. Because this is what she does. She gets hurt and she runs away. She gets angry and she decides to punish people.”

And all that anger, that pain, that grief he’d felt after finding her with Sonny, waltzing down his steps… That had been the last time, he had promised himself, that he would let Carly use him.

“She thinks you betrayed her,” Elizabeth murmured.

“She’s right. And I’m not sorry. I’d do it again. It was the right thing to do. Michael is safe and he’s happy, and that is the only thing I ever promised her that I would do.”

And some of the shock was burning away. The pain was fading. He was used to this. Used to Carly finding new ways to destroy his life.

“I have to go to Sonny’s,” he said. “Something isn’t right about any of this, and we need to know what’s going on.”

“And I should go to the Brownstone,” she said again. “Not just because I’m worried about Bobbie, because I am, but maybe Carly said something. Bobbie might not have noticed it, but Gia and Lucas like Carly a whole lot less. So maybe she let something slip.”

Jason scrubbed his hands over his face, then nodded. “Okay. I’ll drop you off there. And—” He hesitated. He wanted to tell her he’d see her tomorrow, but…

“When you’re done with Sonny, come by,” she murmured. “I doubt either of us are going to sleep much tonight.”

“All right.”

Brownstone: Hallway

Elizabeth watched as Jason drove away, her heart aching. How could she fix this for him? How could she even begin to know what was next?

“What happened?” Gia demanded from the stairs. From the living room, Lucas rose to his feet, his eyes rimmed with exhaustion, irritation…and fatigue.

Another man who had seen the damage Carly could do when she put her mind to it, even if Lucas had always been an indirect target.

“I called my dad to give Mom a sedative,” Lucas said, his voice tight. “Because she has to go to the hospital tomorrow and people who matter more than that bitch need her. I want to know what the hell is going on right now.”

Elizabeth pressed her heels into her eyes and took a moment to gather herself. “God. Let’s go talk where no one else can hear us.”

“You mean my brother?” Gia said with a raised eyebrow, but she followed. “He heard the nonsense earlier and headed straight to the PCPD to see if they could find out what’s going on. He tried to follow Carly when she left—he’s probably harassing Sonny as we speak.”

“Great. That’s just what this night needed.”

“Elizabeth—” Lucas began.

“I don’t know much more than you do at this point. Sonny called Jason at the same time you called me, Gia. I just don’t know how the timeline—”

“She must have gone there when she left here,” Gia said to Lucas. “I could hear yelling down here, but I didn’t come down right away.”

“I came up to get you,” Lucas told Elizabeth. “When Carly stormed out of here, I went up to see if you were home. If Jason was with you.”

“And Bobbie was so upset—it took Lucas and I time to get her calmed down. She wanted to rush after Carly—”

“I don’t think she stayed long with Sonny,” Elizabeth murmured.

“Why go to Sonny at all?” Gia wondered. “That doesn’t make a lot of sense.”

“Carly’s never made sense,” Lucas muttered, but he was frowning, too. “Did you see her, Liz?”

“Yeah. She was already at Courtney and AJ’s when we got there.”

And they both blinked at her. “What?” Gia asked. “How—How could she—”

“That’s what Jason and Sonny are hopefully going to figure out. We confronted her, but she kept trying to get into to see Michael—”

“I swear to God, Liz, if Jason let Carly take my nephew away from AJ again—” Lucas began.

“Carly refused to tell us what was going on, so Jason told her he wouldn’t let her get near Michael.” Elizabeth twisted her fingers together. She had been a little surprised when Jason had so quickly declined to help Carly get Michael.

He’d always done what was necessary to keep Carly in Michael’s life. Even after Carly had hurt him.

“Well, I guess he has some sense after all,” Gia replied, folding her arms. “She wouldn’t tell Jason where she’s been?”

“The only thing he got out of her was that she knows what the date is and how long it’s been.” She sighed, remembering the slight desperation Jason had shown asking if Carly knew what the date was.

He’d wanted to give her a reason for all of this, and Carly had failed him. Again.

“He thought she might have lost her memory?” Gia asked.

“If she did and only just got it back, she didn’t say so. She seemed so…” Elizabeth shook her head. “Angry. And not…not in the way you might think. I get that she was pissed AJ had custody, but…she had to know that already.”

“Because she went to their house, which meant she knew they had moved,” Lucas said.

“She knew AJ had Michael,” Gia said slowly, “so why go to Sonny? Why come here and berate her mother?” She met Elizabeth’s eyes. “Oh, hell, Hurricane Carly is gonna make landfall.”

“And God help us all when she does.”

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

Sonny could feel the exhaustion bleeding through his veins and raised tired eyes to first, Jason, then Benny. “What do we know? Do we know anything?”

“Before she showed up at the Brownstone this evening,” Benny said, “There was no activity on any of her accounts that suggested Carly was alive. We had witnesses, the guardrail—”

“The fact that she was gone,” Jason muttered. “You said no activity before tonight, Benny. How about now?”

“Her credit card was used to check into the Cosmopolitan Hotel about…” Benny looked at his watch. “Twenty-five minutes ago. I already sent over two of our guys.”

“And I put someone at AJ’s place to see if she comes by there again,” Jason said. “But Sonny—”

“I know, I know.” Sonny rubbed his hand against his chest. “How is any of this possible? How did she know AJ had Michael? Why did she come here?”

“She wouldn’t tell me anything tonight, but she’ll be back,” Jason said. He accepted the drink Sonny handed him, which wasn’t like his best friend and partner, but hell, this was that kind of night. “I have legal custody of Michael until Carly goes to the court to get him back. She’s not gonna wanna do that.”

“A judge is gonna wanna know where the hell she’s been.” Sonny sat down. “Benny, if she’s been gone—someone had to help her. Someone had to tell her about AJ getting custody of Michael.”

“I put in calls to some of the representatives, but so far…” Benny spread his hands. “There’s nothing to tell. She vanished in April and was resurrected tonight. That’s all anyone knows.”

“I’ll get answers,” Jason told Sonny. “One way or another. If she’s in trouble, that means Michael’s in the middle. And I’m not putting him at risk. Not again. He’s just getting over losing her in the first place. He’s staying with AJ until I know what’s going on.”

And then Jason grimaced—and Sonny understood. To know that all that Jason had done to keep Michael safe. What Sonny had done to keep Michael away from AJ—

To have arrived at the realization that, at least for now, AJ Quartermaine was the more solid parent. The right place for Michael.

How the tides had turned.

Sonny swallowed his bourbon. “Why would she do this? Why would she fake her death? It just…” He looked back at the mini bar, wanting another drink. Wanting to empty the bottle.

“She was doing good,” he continued, mystified. “The club. Michael. She was…she was on her own. Doing well. The divorce…it was the right decision.” He met Jason’s eyes. “This…I know Carly is capable of a lot of things but—”

“She’s stayed away before,” Jason said roughly. “After Michael was born, she left. But…” He shook his head. “Not since then. She’s never left him. Not willingly.”

“Then why come back like this?” Sonny shook his head. “Maybe she didn’t go on her own, but this? Whatever happens from this night on, it’s on Carly. She could tell you what’s going on. She could come to me. But if she doesn’t—”

“She will.” Jason closed his eyes. “She always tells me the truth. Eventually. Just…not usually in time for me to stop her.”

Brownstone: Front Steps

Elizabeth had stayed with Gia and Lucas in the front room for another hour or so to be sure Bobbie wouldn’t wake up.

That Carly wouldn’t come back.

Then Lucas had gone to sleep, and Gia had gone upstairs.

It was nearly four in the morning, and her eyes felt gritty. She had had the opening shift the day before at Kelly’s and had been awake for nearly twenty-fours now. She should have gone to sleep, but Jason had said he would come by.

And she wanted to see him. To know he was okay.

She hadn’t really been around the first time Carly had blown up his entire world when she’d taken Michael to the Quartermaines and declared Jason a kidnapper before marrying AJ. Hadn’t seen the initial firestorm.

But Elizabeth had been there for the aftermath, for the excruciating pain Michael’s loss had caused. She could still picture him, standing on the docks, watching AJ and Michael looking at the ELQ crane, looking at them as if he’d been sucker punched.

And though she hadn’t known it at the time, she had been there when Carly and Sonny had blown it up again when they’d slept together.

It hadn’t been hard to connect the dots when Elizabeth learned Carly was carrying Sonny’s child. It was the only reason she had to explain Jason’s trek to the boxcar the night he’d been shot and nearly died.

And now Carly had blown his world up again.

Maybe not as cleanly or neatly or as totally as she had in the past, but she’d been dead. And now she wasn’t. And Michael was, again, in the middle of it all. Carly had looked at Jason, the man who had never abandoned her even when she had damn well deserved it…and attacked him.

As if any of this was Jason’s fault.

So, she sat here on the steps, a cup of bad coffee in her hands in a desperate attempt to stay awake. Waiting for him.

Elizabeth heard the rumble of the motorcycle when he was still several blocks away—it was the only sound breaking the silence of the quiet summer night.

He drew the bike to a stop, switched it off, and then swung his leg over the side. Jason stopped when he saw her sitting there.

“Hey. You—” He blinked at her as he drew closer, stood on the bottom step. “You shouldn’t have waited up.”

“I said I would.” She rose to her feet and stepped down two more steps until she was in his arms, his face buried in her neck. “I wanted to see you.”

Elizabeth wasn’t sure how long they stood there in silence before he drew back, his thumbs smoothing her hair back over her forehead, drifting down her cheeks. “Hey,” she murmured, tightening her arms around his waist. “Can you talk to me?”

“Yeah.” He swallowed and then they sat on the step, her chin resting on his shoulder. “She’s at the Cosmopolitan. But we don’t know anything we didn’t know before I went to Sonny’s.”

“Tony came over to give Bobbie a sedative,” Elizabeth told him. “She has work in the morning and she just—she couldn’t. It was too much, I think. So, I don’t know if Carly said anything. She came here first, though.”

“That matters,” Jason murmured. “She knew when she left here that AJ had Michael, but she still went to Sonny’s. And he didn’t know where AJ lives now. So, she already knew where Michael was.”

“Which means everything she did tonight was calculated. Planned.”

“Yeah.” Jason exhaled slowly, his breath almost shaky. “I can usually—I can usually talk Carly down. M-Maybe I still can. I don’t know. I just…” He looked at her, his eyes wet with tears she knew to be rare. “I don’t know what she’s going to do. Where she was. Why any of this—I don’t know what she’s going to do,” he repeated. “And that means I don’t know how to stop her.”

Elizabeth bit her lip. “I don’t have the words,” she confessed. “I don’t know how to help you.”

“Just…just be here.” He leaned his forehead against hers. “For me. For Bobbie. And Michael. Just be you. That’s always enough.”

January 24, 2018

This entry is part 14 of 35 in the Bittersweet

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I’m afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow
A Thousand Years, Christina Perri


Thursday, July 25, 2002

AA Meeting Room

AJ accepted the gold chip from his sponsor at the podium and spent a moment looking at it, turning it between his fingers. Feeling the weight of it. He had several of these at home already—a white one for his first twenty-four hours of sobriety, and then one for every month that followed.

All of those were important to him. He carried the most current one in his pocket everywhere, touching it when the urge to drink threatened to swallow him. He would take the chip out, look at it—look at the length of time imprinted on it and reminded himself of all he had to throw away.

But a part of him had never truly believed he’d make it to this chip. To this moment.

“AJ?” his sponsor touched his shoulder, his voice quiet. “You don’t need to say anything, you know that, right?”

“Yeah.” His voice felt rusty, but he raised his eyes to meet the steady eyes of the man who had stood behind him the whole way. He looked out to those gathered—the usual members and the small group there to see him get the coin.

His miracle, his wife, Courtney. His mother and father. His grandparents. Ned. And next to Courtney, Jason and Elizabeth.

His brother was there to see him in this moment. Even if Jason never called him that, never felt that link—AJ always would.

He took a deep breath and turned to them. “My name is AJ. And I’m an alcoholic.”

There were murmurs of the usual greetings. “Today I am one year sober.” He looked down at the coin. “A year ago, I came to my first meeting. But I didn’t speak. I couldn’t. I didn’t know what to say. I’m…I’m not even sure I know what to say now.”

He looked back at the audience and found Courtney’s encouraging eyes. “I had a miracle happen to me this year. I found someone who looked at me…and liked me. Just the way I was. Damaged. Broken. But she saw something in me worth loving. It gets easier to believe that it’s true every day we’re together.”

Elizabeth leaned over and squeezed Courtney’s hand, and the two shared a smile.

“I have a son,” AJ continued. “Because of my choices in life, his mother kept him away from me. I used…I used to hate her for that. But now that I’ve been allowed to be with him, to be his father—” He met Jason’s eyes. “I get it. They put him first. I wasn’t ready to be a father. To stop letting the alcohol win. But I am now.”

He cleared his throat. “I drank to forget. To forget that I wasn’t what my family wanted. That I had destroyed my life, nearly killed my brother. That I had thrown away anything worthwhile in my life. But last year…I looked at myself in the mirror and I realized…” AJ’s voice caught. “I realized that I was killing myself. And I didn’t want to do that anymore. I didn’t know what I wanted, but I wanted to stop living in a fog. Stop letting everyone else define me. I couldn’t stop drinking for my son. Or to atone for my brother. But I stopped for myself.”

He looked down at this coin. “I’m not sure I ever believed I would get here. And I’m terrified I might slip. That I might have to start over. But I—I know what it’s like to win now. To feel worthy. To be respected. And I have so much to lose. So, I hope that I’m here again next year for a second year sober. I’m going to do everything I can to make that happen.”

“I’m so proud of him,” Courtney murmured as AJ took his seat up front. “How honest he is.” She looked at Elizabeth. “And how happy he’s been with Michael. Thank you.” She met Jason’s eyes as well. “Thank you for letting him have a chance.”

When the meeting was over, Courtney and the Quartermaines went forward to meet AJ but Elizabeth hung back with Jason. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I guess…” Jason shook his head. “I don’t know. He’s been sober for a year. That’s…that’s good.”

“It’s always one day at a time,” she murmured.

AJ broke away from the others and hesitantly approached them. “Hey. Thanks for coming.”

“Congratulations.” Elizabeth stepped forward and embraced him. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, Liz.” AJ smiled at her. “It’s really…it’s Courtney who should—”

“You’re the one who didn’t take the drink,” Jason cut in, surprising them both. He looked away, as if he couldn’t quite meet AJ’s eyes. “Yeah, she’s been there. But you didn’t—you did the work.”

“Thanks.” AJ swallowed. “And thanks for last weekend. We had a lot of fun with Michael staying over.”

“Bobbie and I were talking—” Jason shifted slightly. “And we think it might be—we might try a few days. Maybe three or something.” He finally AJ’s eyes. “If you want.”

Elizabeth’s throat closed, and her eyes burned as she saw the surprise, the happiness, and the terror flitting across AJ’s face. She was so…proud of Jason for doing this. For giving AJ this chance. She knew how hard it was for him to give on this, to let go of Michael and trust AJ.

“Yeah.” AJ cleared his throat. “Yeah, I want.”

Friday, July 26, 2002

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

“The PCPD’s final report came back,” Benny said with a twist of his lips. He tossed a folder on the table. “They’re ruling it accidental.”

“What?” Sonny barked reaching for the paperwork. “How in the hell—I thought you said they found bomb remnants—”

“They’re reclassifying it as materials from the warehouse. Blaming a gas leak.” Benny hissed between his teeth. “They don’t have any leads, so it’s easier for them this way.”

“It’s easier for us,” Jason said after a long moment. He skimmed the report Sonny passed to him. “We’re almost finished the reconstruction. If the PCPD ruled it accidental, we can get back to work.”

“Unless it’s a trick,” Sonny muttered. He poured himself a bourbon and tossed half of it back, letting the harsh liquid burn a trail of fire down his throat. “We’re going to have to stay careful. They’ll be raiding it. Maybe…maybe that’s the point here.”

Jason raised his brows. “Blow up our warehouse? Let the cops crawl all over our waterfront properties for almost two months? Just so we can get harassed by the cops? I’m not saying no,” he added when Sonny scowled at him. “It just doesn’t seem to make sense.”

“We’ll need to find a way to draw the attention from our warehouses,” Benny said, neatly sidestepping both men. “I think we may have to consider the possibility that the warehouse explosion was an accident—in that perhaps they did not intend it to be so powerful. In the last two months, not one member of the Families has taken advantage of our…issues.”

“Benny’s right,” Jason said. “And I’m finished going over the books. Looking at all the men. The casinos in Atlantic City could be run better, and that goes for the island. For Puerto Rico, but that’s just because of the expansion. And—”

“Because Nico is chomping at the bit to get out of Port Charles,” Sonny muttered. “His crew came back clean?”

“No. But his is the only crew that looks like an issue. Most of Sorel’s men went to Nico because he was a familiar face,” Jason told him. “We probably should have pushed some of them out of the city. He’s into drugs, there’s no doubt. They must have dumped the product because their sales records took a hit about a month ago, but they’ve ramped it back up—”

“The Paradise and Oasis sales are through the roof in June,” Benny confirmed. “Triple that of May and double over last year. And July is on track—”

“It was a distraction,” Sonny murmured. “Thought we’d be preoccupied with the warehouse. Thought it would force me to get you back into the fold,” he said to Jason. “We were right to keep you focused on the paperwork. Because now when I demand answers from that son of a bitch, I’ll—”

“We need to take this slowly,” Jason cut in. “He’s cocky right now, Sonny. And running drugs isn’t the goal. It can’t be. He’s been doing it for over a year, but now he tries to distract you? Now he tries to get out of town and leave a scapegoat? There’s no way Nico didn’t know Zander was a hothead. He planned on it. And he knew you hated him. He knew I hated him.”

“He’s got something else planned.” Sonny nodded. “Okay. I can get behind that. It makes sense.”

“Time to put in surveillance,” Jason told Benny. “Tell Stan we want everything. Both the Paradise and Oasis. Nico and Lenny’s phone lines.”

“I want someone following them at all times. I want to know who they talk to. When they talk to them.” Sonny hissed. “I shouldn’t have let the bastard in. I just—I didn’t want another Sorel. Better to join. Divide and conquering has never solved anything. Not after Smith or Moreno.”

“Drugs are lucrative,” Benny said kindly. “And most of the men don’t have your feelings against it—”

“You think I give a damn how people destroy themselves?” Sonny challenged. “I keep drugs out of Port Charles because I don’t want them near the high schools, yeah. But the PCPD know I don’t traffic in drugs. It’s good for my reputation to be against them. It’s kept me in business for the last seven years.” He shrugged. “People can go anywhere for drugs. If I really gave a damn, I wouldn’t move Zacchara or Ruiz’s product.”

“Fair enough.” Benny checked his watch. “I better catch Stan while I can.”

When their business manager left, Sonny looked to Jason. “We’ll need to keep you out a little longer, but maybe by the end of the summer…unless you have plans to head out of town soon.”

“I—” Jason hesitated. “What do you mean?”

“You stayed for Michael’s custody.” Sonny poured himself another. “It’s settled now.”

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t think AJ is going to challenge it, and we’ve already increased visitation.” Jason rubbed the back of his neck. “But Elizabeth is graduating in December and she’s managing Kelly’s—”

“Ah.” Sonny managed a half smile. “So you’re sticking around.”

“I—hadn’t thought about it, honestly. I figured I would be even before—but, yeah. Elizabeth’s life is here right now. I don’t know. Maybe that’ll change.” Jason shrugged. “For now, it’s better if I stay on the fringes. Francis and Johnny are doing a good job of handling things.” He waited a moment. “And I’m okay with what I’m doing now.”

“Keeps you out of the line of fire. Below the radar. Makes Elizabeth safer, I guess.” Sonny eyed him. “You’re not going to be able to keep out of it forever, Jase. I hope you both know that.”

Tuesday, August 6, 2002

Miami, Florida: Pier

Zander scrawled his signature at the bottom of a clipboard, gave it back the harbor master, and gave the signal to his crew to unload.

It wasn’t glamorous work—way more manual labor that Zander had had to do running gamblers and bookies to ground back in Port Charles, but it wasn’t too bad. He had his own guys and might even move up the ranks, but he wanted off the pier, off the docks altogether.

Miami had a lot of opportunities to make money, and Zander was always looking for the next score.

“Yo, Smith.”

Zander turned to find his boss’s youngest son loping towards him. Manny Ruiz was short and covered in tattoos, and from a distance, wasn’t all that intimidating.

But up close, there was a glint in his eye that made even the toughest guy shrink back. The Ruiz boys, save for the brother who had turned priest, were fucking crazy, and Manny was the worst of them.

“Manny.” Zander turned, met his eyes evenly. “You need something?”

Papi wanted me to send a message.” Manny tilted his head with a half-smile. Despite the smothering, muggy heat, Zander felt a cold chill dance down his back. “Our friend has been in touch. You should start paying attention to matters back home.”

“Am I going back?” Zander asked. He looped his fingers through the belt loop of his jeans. And why the hell was Manny Ruiz playing messenger boy?

“Not yet, no, but…” Manny stepped closer. His tone remained friendly, but the light in his eyes was anything but. “Papi wanted to make sure you know…if anything goes wrong, we’re out of it.”

In other words, when this all blew to hell, Hector Ruiz would set his fucking insane progeny on anyone who brought his name into the discussion.

Fair enough. If Zander had tools like Manny and Javier Ruiz to deploy, he would do so as often as necessary.

“If anything goes wrong,” Zander said, slowly, “I’ll be too busy getting my ass out of there to worry about diming anyone out.” He offered his own sickly-sweet smile. “I don’t intend to be caught, and I’m the only one who could give your name.” He paused. “Other than Luis.”

“Just so we’re clear, amigo.” Manny clapped him on the shoulder. “But I like you, you know. Papi expects good things from you.”

Manny offered him another smile and then loped back up the ramp to the shipyard. Zander rolled his shoulders. He would play his role for Luis Alcazar, but when this fell apart as Zander thought it might, he was going to come back here to Miami, making money and not giving the Ruiz family a single regret for giving him a chance.

He’d do what he could to bring down Corinthos and Morgan, but there was no way he was putting his ass on the line. Not worth it.

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Gia wiggled her fingers. “You see these hands, Liz? These are the hands of a free woman. My last summer class ended today.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and scowled at the receipts. She really needed to ask Jason to help her with the books more often. She sucked at math.

And lately, she almost resented having to total this stuff up at the end of the day. She had cleaned out her studio a few weeks ago, and for the first time in months, she was spending time there again. Sketching. Drawing.

She’d meant what she told Lucky almost two months ago — going back to school, managing Kelly’s—they hadn’t been plans. They’d just been a way to fill her time. Give her a direction. A reason to get out of bed.

And she was glad to be finishing her degree, even if she’d mostly got it to thumb her nose at anyone who said she couldn’t. And she was glad to be helping out Bobbie here.

But she was starting to feel restless again, as if this wasn’t quite what she’d planned. Or what she wanted.

“These last two months sucked,” Gia continued, “but it means we can both graduate in December.” She reached for her milkshake and slurped it. “Yo. Liz.”

“What?” Elizabeth blinked at her. “Oh. Yeah. It’s good. I’ll be glad to get some time off next month. Um, Courtney said she’d cover my shifts if we still want to go away for a few days.”

“Funny you should bring it up.” Gia flexed her shoulders. “You’re still dating Jason.”

Elizabeth frowned at her. “What?”

“Almost three months now. Going solid. All good. Super happy for you. You know what Jason has?”

“Oh.” Elizabeth scowled. “Christ, Gia. You want me to ask my—” Because boyfriend sounded weird, she skipped right over it, “if we can go to the island? What for free? Should I ask for Sonny’s jet?”

“Well, if you can get it—” Gia frowned. Tilted her head. “I know that tone. I thought—” She paused. “I thought things were good. You’re barely ever at the apartment anymore. I’d take it personally, except I think it’s more because we live in the same building as my brother. Are you guys not okay?”

“No, we’re fine.” And because that sounded less than convincing, Elizabeth tried again. “Okay. I don’t really know. I mean, we’re—I think we’re happy. I just—” She bit her lip. “I don’t know. I can’t explain it. We’re together almost every night. And it’s good. When we’re together. I mean, it’s…not perfect, but it’s almost like it could be. I just…” She set the receipts down. “I think it’s me.”

“I know it’s you,” Gia muttered. “He’s too sexy for it to be him.” When Elizabeth glared at her, Gia just shrugged. “It’s usually you. And I say that with love.”

Elizabeth wanted to argue with her, but Gia’s logic was rock solid. Jason was an open and honest person. When something bothered him, he said so.

Not that anything was bothering her. It wasn’t.

“I think I don’t remember how to be happy,” she confessed. “That…I’m so used to fighting with Lucky and just generally being miserable in a relationship, I find it…uncomfortable to just have things be easy.”

“Okay…”

“And I think it’s because it’s early, right?” Elizabeth chewed her on her pen cap. “It’s a few months in. And we know each other really well. And we agree on stuff to do together. Take out from a bunch of places. Rides on his bike. Spending the night at Jake’s. Or sometimes at my studio. I don’t…ask him about his job because I don’t need to. I know if there was something for me to know, he’d tell me.”

“Yeah, okay, so this is what’s called the infatuation phase,” Gia told her. “You’re both enjoying each other. It’s not complicated yet. You haven’t decided to take it to the next step.”

“The next step?”

“You know, you’re just enjoying being together. And yeah, you do know each other really well, but I bet you’re still learning new stuff.”

“I—” Elizabeth tilted her head. “He’s a neat freak. Which I didn’t expect. Folds his clothes. Puts it away. Doesn’t like clutter. I used to think he just didn’t have a lot of stuff. My studio drives him crazy because there’s stuff everywhere. He never said anything before, but now I can see his grimace sometimes when he thinks I’m—” She smiled at the image.

“You need to figure out how to relax,” Gia told her. “Because it ain’t gonna be sunshine and roses. Eventually, y’all are gonna argue. Or one of you is going to start to want more.”

“More?” Elizabeth couldn’t imagine wanting more than she had right now. It would be tempting fate, and that bitch had always hated her.

“Yeah, like, you’re both sleeping together in small spaces. Maybe you want a drawer at Jake’s. Or your own bathroom at the studio. Or one of you says those three little words before the other is ready. Someone always wants more first.” Gia shrugged. “I mean, I don’t think it’s an issue for you guys right now. You’re both stupid for each other. But yeah, eventually, just hanging out at Jake’s isn’t gonna be enough.”

“I guess.” Elizabeth sighed. “It’s just irritating to know I could still…have doubts. It’s exactly what I thought it would be like to be with Jason.”

“Yeah?”

“Safe,” she murmured. “And amazing. The way he just listens. Or looks at me. The way he says my name—”

“Girl, you’re not the only one who finds that hot.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Gia—”

“He drops his voice an octave. It’s sexy. I like it. I have decided not to settle for anyone who doesn’t make my panties wet when he says my name,” Gia declared.  The mother sitting a table away gave her a dirty look which Gia didn’t notice.

“Anyway—” Elizabeth said, her cheeks flaming because—well, Gia was right. “It’s not just—I mean. Yeah. You’re, um, not wrong about…you know.”

“Oh, damn it. I knew it.” Gia huffed. “Sex on a stick. He just oozes it. I should have seduced him when I had the chance.”

Elizabeth flicked her straw wrapper at her friend. “Hey. Hands off. Don’t be jealous because I’m having better sex than you.”

“Girl, you are having better sex than everyone.” When the mother gave Gia another dirty look, Gia arched her brows. “Why don’t move closer, you want to listen so much? Maybe she’ll talk about positions next.”

The older woman scowled but averted her face.

“You’re going to get us shut down for obscenities,” Elizabeth said with a roll of her eyes.

“She’s as jealous as the rest of us.” Her roommate waited a moment. “You’re not used to a guy who respects you. Who treats you like a queen. You should ask Jason to go away for a few days. And hey, if he needs to do business, I’ll be happy to come along and keep you company.”

“Somehow I knew this would come back around to a free vacation.”

Saturday, August 24, 2002

AJ & Courtney’s House: Front Porch

Jason hugged Michael one more time. “Have a good time this week, all right?”

“We’re gonna have lots of fun, Uncle Jason,” Michael assured him with a broad smile. He peered up at his father through shaggy blond hair. “Right, Dad?”

AJ grinned down at him. “Right. We’re going to Six Flags on Tuesday. You guys can come if you want,” he told Elizabeth.

“Oh.” Elizabeth grinned at Jason. “You like roller coasters?”

Jason hesitated at the sparkle in her eyes because he couldn’t figure out if she was joking or not. “Uh, let me…check my schedule.”

“It’d be lots of fun, Uncle Jason.”

“Pretty sure I’d pay to see you at a theme park, Jase.”

“You and everyone else,” Elizabeth told AJ with a wicked grin. “I could live forever off those proceeds—”

“All right, I think it’s almost time for Michael to go to bed,” Jason said, stepping back. AJ just laughed and with another wave, father and son closed the door behind them.

Jason stood there, watching the door for just another minute. Elizabeth slid her hand into his. “You okay?”

“It’s okay.”

“Yeah. And he loves his new room.” Elizabeth tugged him down the steps and Jason followed her reluctantly. “And the backyard.”

“I know.”

She turned to face him when they reached the door of the SUV Jason had borrowed from Sonny to drive Michael to AJ’s house. “But this is his first full week. And you’re worried.”

“He’ll be okay,” Jason muttered, but he looked away.

“Because you know it’s not going to be long before Michael’s living with AJ,” Elizabeth said. “Bobbie’s already talked about how much Michael and AJ seem to like each other.” She let her fingers drift down the soft blue t-shirt he wore. “I know that used to hurt you. The idea of them together.”

Jason exhaled slowly and dipped his head until his chin hit his chest. “I didn’t trust AJ. And it…it was the way it happened. I didn’t have a chance—I couldn’t…get ready for it. And I know I was right to give up visitation. That it gave Michael his best shot.”

“Doesn’t mean it hurts any less.” Elizabeth looked at the one-story ranch home Courtney had been so excited to close on a month earlier. Her first real home, she’d told Elizabeth at Kelly’s. She’d always lived in apartments, but now she had a home.

“He’s happy here,” Jason said after a moment. “That’s all I ever wanted for him. He’s not…AJ’s good. So far.”

Elizabeth nodded, because Jason had been forced to come a long way in the last five months. He’d all but ceded custody to a man that had almost killed him. A man who had spent most of his life in a drunken oblivion. “That’s one of the things I—” She stumbled a moment, and he tilted his head as if he knew what word she’d nearly said.

“One of my favorite things,” she corrected. “Is that you’re fair. And honest. I know it’s been difficult to let this happen. And not just because of AJ’s alcoholism.”

“Part of me…” Jason hesitated. “Still thinks I’m betraying Carly,” he admitted. “I promised her—”

“And you did everything you could to keep that promise,” Elizabeth cut in. “You really did. And maybe Carly would have rather you take Michael on the run to keep AJ from winning. I know you don’t like to break your word—”

“But I made a promise to Michael, too,” Jason said. “To always put him first.” He looked back at the house. “And that’s what I’m doing.”

She opened her mouth, but whatever she had been about to say—she swallowed it. And not for the first time that day. Or week. Or this month.

He brushed his fingers against her temple, smoothing her hair behind her ears, and she turned into his touch. How many times had Jason touched her like this the year before and watched as she’d pull away? Go back to Lucky?

“What were you going to say?” he asked softly.

“What? When?”

“Now. Or before.”

She tipped her face up to him as he kissed her, drinking in her taste. Her scent. “What were you going to say?” he repeated, their breaths mingling.

“Nice try.” But Elizabeth was smiling as she said it and kissed him again, her hand fisting in his shirt. “Let’s go back to Jake’s.”

Jake’s: Jason’s Room

“You’re thinking again.”

Her breath still shallow, her heart still racing, Elizabeth scowled and sat up, her hands sliding down his chest, still straddling him. “Excuse me?”

Jason just grinned up at her, his hands behind his head. “You’re thinking again. What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” She started to slide away, to reach for the thin sheet and cover herself, but Jason kept her there with his hands gripping her hips. “Jason—”

“You started to say something earlier and stopped. You did that yesterday. And last week.” Jason sat up, touched her cheek.

“It’s not—” Elizabeth sighed. “You’re not wrong.” And this time, when she moved away, he let her. “I don’t know. I feel like an idiot. I’ve been…” She searched for the right way to express what she was thinking. “When you first came home, I tried to push you away.”

“I know.” He cleared his throat. “Are you—”

“I was so afraid of hurting you again,” she continued, holding up her hand. “And of being hurt. And I think…maybe I was afraid to be happy. Nothing…nothing good ever happens when I’m…happy.” Her voice trembled a bit. “I know that sounds insane—”

“Elizabeth.” Jason drew her against him, tucking her head into shoulder as they laid back. “It doesn’t. Sound insane, I mean.”

“I just…these last few months…I think I’ve been waiting for something to go wrong. For you to change your mind, maybe. Or for me to mess it up.”

“I can’t promise that nothing is never going to go wrong,” he told her. “We’re both probably going to make mistakes.” Jason shifted so he was laying on his side, facing her. “But that’s not what you were going to say earlier.”

“Ugh. You’re relentless.” She bit her lip, but suddenly she didn’t feel like she would be tempting fate. “Specifically, what I was going to say earlier…at the house…was that…” She reached up to trace his features with her fingertips. “The way you look at things…with openness. Honesty. Fearlessness. It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you.”

He wrapped his hand around her fingers, bring them to his lips where he kissed them softly. “Your courage and the way you always believe in people is one of the reasons I love you.”

She opened her mouth to reply, but her cell phone began to shrilly ring from the depths of her purse across the room. She blinked at it and had almost decided to ignore it when his cell phone in his jeans began to ring, too.

“That…” Jason sat up and reached for his jeans beside the bed. “That can’t be good.” He looked at the display. “It’s Sonny.”

Elizabeth rushed to her purse and pulled out her phone. Fear sliced through her chest. “It’s Gia. Oh, God, what if something—”

She heard him talking into his phone and she answered hers. “Gia—”

“Jesus ‘effin Christ, Elizabeth Webber. You are not going to fucking believe what the hell is going on here!”

“Gia—”

What?” she heard Jason demand from across the room. She turned to him, his phone against his ear, his face drained of color. “Say that again, Sonny.”

“Gia—”

“Carly was here a little while ago,” Gia said. “Caroline Benson, aka Destroyer of Worlds, is alive, looking for her son and pissed as hell. And Bobbie was too stunned and told her about AJ— ”

“Carly?” Jason repeated. “What—”

“I’ll call you back,” Elizabeth said, numbly, closing her phone. “Jason—”

“We have to—” Jason stared at his phone. “Sonny said Carly just left his place. Carly. Looking for Michael.”

“That’s…what Gia said. Um, she knows he’s with AJ. I guess she’ll go to the mansion first, but—”

“We should…” Jason just stared at her, trailing off. “I can’t—”

She took the phone from him and touched his cheek. “Hey. I can’t imagine what’s going through your mind right now. Carly’s alive. And she’s on the war path.”

“Right.” He cleared his throat. “So we should go to the house. We should get there before her. You should call AJ.” He started to pull on his jeans but stopped and sat on the bed. “Christ, Elizabeth. Where the hell has she been for the last five months?”