September 27, 2015

This entry is part 29 of 34 in the The Best Thing

Do you think you can cope?
You figured me out?
That I’m lost and I’m hopeless
I’m bleeding and broken though I’ve never spoken
I come undone in this mad season

Mad Season, Matchbox 20


Sunday, September 4, 2005

Hardy Home: Living Room

 Elizabeth set the phone back onto the receiver and rubbed her eyes. “Father Coates said we could have the church on Tuesday. Can everyone be here by then?”

Nikolas checked his notes. “Yeah—your parents got on the flight this morning in Botswana. They’ll fly into Johannesburg in about—” He looked at his watch. “Another hour. There’s a flight from there to New York City that land them in the US around eight tomorrow night our time. I arranged for Sarah, TJ, and Tom to fly into LaGuardia around the same time, so they can all fly up in the jet. Everyone will be here around midnight. We’re cutting it close, but they’ll be here for the service.”

“And Grandfather has arranged for everyone to have a room at the Cosmopolitan,” Emily continued. “And we have cars for the service the next day.”

Elizabeth drew in a deep breath. Where would she be without these people? Nikolas and Emily were arranging for her family to make it on time—Bobbie had offered up the Brownstone for after the funeral. She and Felicia were handling the catering. The only thing Steven and she had to deal with was the funeral itself.

Jason came in from the kitchen, Evie in his arms and Cameron toddling along with him. “Hey, we finished lunch.” He glanced over his shoulder. “We may need a cleaning service.”

Elizabeth laughed and reached for Cam as he put his arms up to her. She pulled him close, cuddling him. Soon he’d be too big for this, too grown up to hug his mother.

“Give me my baby—” Emily wiggled her hands for Evie. “I haven’t seen her nearly as much as I want to since I started my internship.” Jason relinquished the ten month old to her. “Oh, look at your pretty smile!”

“That’ll distract for her an hour,” Nikolas said dryly. He looked at Elizabeth. “Remember our pact.”

Elizabeth nodded. “Got it. Hey, Em, what are you thinking for baby names?”

“Oh.” Emily brightened, grinning at her brother as he took the last remaining seat in the arm chair. “I have oodles of ideas. I can’t decide if I want to go hip and funky or really super classical. I mean, Lila would be the optimum choice, but I don’t know if Grandmother would have wanted us to do that.” She lifted a shoulder. “I mean, she was a lot like Jason. Kids should stand on their own. Mom only named AJ after Dad because she wanted to stick it to him.”

Nikolas rolled his eyes, but Jason frowned. “Hip and funky?” he repeated.

“Yeah. Like River or Apple. I like the idea of a sweet name, so I thought Berry—”

“She’s kidding, isn’t she?” Elizabeth asked Nikolas. “You get a veto, right?”

“Hey!” Emily pouted. Evie blew a raspberry at her, and her aunt giggled. “Jason asked. I told you I was thinking classical. Maybe not Lila, but something that might…I don’t know, honor her. Plus, I want to make sure Elizabeth and I aren’t crossing streams. She might have a girl name she’s saving, or a second boy.”

Elizabeth flushed, and bit her lip, looking at Jason. Though they’d never explicitly remarked on the idea, of course they’d planned to have more children. Somewhere down the line—maybe when Cam and Evie weren’t both still toddlers. “I hadn’t—” She pursed her lips. “I hadn’t thought about it.”

“Oh. Well. I looked it up,” Emily continued, bouncing Evie a bit on her knee. “So Lila is actually an Arabic name that means play or amusement. Or maybe night. It depends on which book you look at. It’s also a French word for lilac—”

“This is way too much information,” Nikolas said. “Em—”

“You mock me, but this is important. Names follow you. We’ll be screaming this name for the next, like, twenty years.” Emily sniffed at him. “Anyway. We narrowed it down for the moment. So, Olivia or Charlotte with Paige as a middle name for my biological mother. That’s for a girl. For a boy, Nikolas has vetoed a junior—”

“He’ll have it rough enough with a last name like Cassadine,” Nikolas told Elizabeth with a sigh.

“But I think it would be nice to call him Spencer. Because it would drive Lucky crazy, and if Laura were here, she’d love it.” Emily looked at Nikolas. “We’re still arguing about a middle name for a boy.”

“Spencer Cassadine,” Elizabeth mused. “That poor bastard.”

“You didn’t have a girl’s name picked out for Cam before you found out?” Emily asked. “Come on, Liz. We’re all friends here.” She grinned at her brother.

“Well, I guess…if you’re pressing me right now—” And because it was better than thinking about her family or her grandmother, Elizabeth gave in. “I was thinking Juliet Emily if Cam had been a girl. I’d probably stick with it if Jason liked it.” She looked at Jason, who just shrugged. “And you know he doesn’t care about names.”

“Oh, oh, you’d have little girls named Julie and Evie. It’d be awesome. Julie, Evie, and Cam. I love it.” Emily clapped her hands. “And I love the middle name. Very appropriate.” She nodded. “What about boys?”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, but the mirth of the moment was broken as Steven stepped over the threshold, looking wan and exhausted. “Hey, guys.”

“Hey.” Elizabeth set Cam on his feet and stood to embrace her brother. “Father Coates said we could have the church on Tuesday, and Nikolas and Emily took care of all the travel. Everyone will be here. Tired, but here.”

“Great. Thanks.” Steven squeezed her to his side. “I was just with Gram’s lawyer. Apparently, she made me executor.”

“Oh. I hadn’t even thought about her estate.” Elizabeth drew away and perched on the edge of the sofa. “What did he say?”

“Well, it’s pretty—well, surprising, honestly.” Steven rubbed his eyes. “Gramps left her with a comfortable living, some nice investments. There’s a bit of an inheritance. And she split it between you and me for the most part. There’s some provisions for Sarah, Dad, TJ, and Uncle Tom, but the bulk goes to us.”

“Makes sense,” Emily said before Elizabeth could protest. “You guys are the ones who are here. Audrey was always fair.”

“And, Bits, you get the house.”

Elizabeth turned back to her brother at that. “What? The—this house?” She looked around at the home her grandparents had shared, the home where she had spent summers. “Gram left me the house?”

“Her estate will go to probate. It’ll be final in a few weeks provided no one contests it, but there’s no reason to. And the deed will go in your name.”

“I don’t—I didn’t know she was going to do that—” Elizabeth swallowed. “We—we should sell it, right? Divide it among all of us—”

“You should keep it, Bits,” Steven cut in gently. “I don’t know what you and Jason have planned, but you should keep the house. I don’t want it, and none of the others deserve anything more than what Gram gave them.”

He kissed her forehead. “I have to get to work, okay? I’m taking Tuesday and Wednesday off, I need to put in the time. You guys okay here?”

When they nodded, Steven left, leaving Elizabeth still a bit stunned. “Jason—she left me the house. I can’t believe it.” She pressed a hand to her forehead. “Why wouldn’t she tell me?”

“Because you would have told her not to, just like you were about to suggest selling the house.” Emily snorted. “And giving the money to your family. Elizabeth, what are we going to do with you?”

General Hospital: Cafeteria

 Courtney’s spoon clattered to the table as Carly absently reached for a salt shaker, the sleeve of her long shirt riding up as she stretched. “Carly, what happened to your arm?”

Carly blinked and looked down at the bruise. She dropped the salt and hastily drew her arm back, putting it in her lap. “Nothing. I should get back to Sonny—”

“We’re having lunch.” Courtney lifted her chin. “I’ll only follow you if you walk away. What the hell happened, Carly?”

When Carly remained silent, Courtney reached over and dragged Carly’s hand back into view, sliding her sleeve back. Carly struggled, but simply didn’t have the energy to put up any real resistance.

Her arm was covered in several ugly green and purple bruises. In her work at the foundation when she visited shelters, Courtney had seen this type of bruise before.

“Did—” She swallowed hard, her mouth dry as bone. “Did my brother do this?”

Carly yanked her wrist back and looked away, at the table. “He’s sick. You know that. It’s fine.”

Something had been different about Carly since the moment Courtney had arrived the night before—she’d chalked it up to exhaustion, worry, and fear over Sonny’s condition.

But he’d been upgraded to stable just after Courtney’s arrival and Carly had grabbed some sleep—and yet…Carly’s eyes were dull. She was listless, unable to make eye contact.

She wasn’t Carly. There wasn’t an ounce of fight left in her.

And nothing terrified Courtney more.

“Carly, I know he’s ill. He came to me in New York to see a doctor—”

“Elizabeth told me. He’s being treated for depression. I told his attending doctor,” Carly said, her tone oddly flat. “I also told him I thought Sonny should get a psych consult. Because I don’t know if Elizabeth is right, but I don’t think he’s just depressed.”

Courtney exhaled slowly. Carly was finally on board now—they could get through this if she wasn’t working against them. “Good. Good. The doctors will do something, I’m sure of it—”

“What if they don’t?” Carly looked at her. “What if Sonny fools them the way he fooled the doctor in New York? I don’t know what happened on Friday night, Courtney, but he was shot. And Jason hasn’t been here. Jason—he took over. Sonny’s not…” She closed her eyes. “He’s not in power now. And he’s so angry.”

Courtney knew what it must have cost Jason to push Sonny out, but of course it had to be done. Sonny was an unstable mess who couldn’t be trusted with his own children, much less the type of power and control he’d held as head of the organization.

But she’d been doing some reading of her own—and she’d talked to Bobbie who’d conferred with Elizabeth. Everyone agreed Sonny wasn’t just suffering from depression. It had to be something else. The bipolar disorder, maybe.

And if Sonny was manic and thought Jason was taking away his power, his control—

“It’s good that he’s in the hospital,” Courtney murmured. “Jason will be able to—he’ll have a moment to breathe. And he’ll fix this. He always comes through.”

“I want to believe that,” Carly said softly. “Sometimes it’s the only way I can close my eyes at night. But he hasn’t yet. I tried to make myself believe it was because of Evie, because Jason wanted to keep her, but that’s not true, is it?” She waited a moment. “He hasn’t fixed this because he’s like us. None of us know what to do.”

“But we have a common purpose.” Courtney laced her fingers through her sister-in-law’s. “We all love Sonny and want him to be well. He’s in the hospital now. He’ll have a psych consult, and we’ll see what happens then. We’ll make it through this.”

“I wish I could believe that, but I can’t. I’ve been lying to myself for years. I should leave Sonny, you know. I already sent my boys away.” Carly tucked a piece of hair behind her ears. “But I can’t.”

“You can, Carly—”

“Because he’ll be alone,” Carly continued. “And you know he hates that. I used to love him, I think. It’s hard to remember that now, but I tried so very hard to save our life together, so I must have. Or was it just the name?” She blinked at Courtney. “Do you think it was just that I wanted to be Carly Corinthos?”

“Maybe,” Courtney said. “But Carly—”

“I even thought I should turn Sonny against Jason,” Carly interrupted. “I tried to make Sonny think Jason had gone after Evie deliberately—that he’d known about Sam’s trick. Because if Sonny turned against him, he’d take Evie back. And he’d be okay if he had Evie.” She pressed a hand to her mouth. “How selfish is that? I sacrificed Jason so I could keep my life. Sonny is so angry at Jason, maybe I did that. Maybe I started it—”

“You can’t blame yourself—”

“Who else?” Carly turned her shattered gaze away. “Sonny and Jason started this lie because I’m selfish. Because I rant, and I rave, and I never think about the consequences of my actions. I told Sonny I would take the boys and destroy him if Evie was his. So Jason lied to save them. And Sonny let it go on because he wanted to be with the boys. If not for Evie, if not for losing her, maybe Sonny wouldn’t have gone over the edge—”

“Carly, no, you cannot think like that. What’s wrong with Sonny has always been wrong with him—” Courtney pushed her tea away. “Anything can trigger an episode. Did the situation with Evie make it worse? Maybe. Probably. But, God, Carly, in that moment, what could you have said? Should you have been thrilled your husband’s mistress was pregnant? He’d had an affair and planned to continue it even while you were back together. He shot you in the head and then resented you during the recovery. My brother was an ass to you. And you dealt with it the best way you could. Does he get the share of the blame? How much is his fault, then?”

A tear slid down Carly’s face. “I just want it to stop. I wanted to believe I could fix it. I wanted to believe I could have another baby, and it would be fine. And then I thought if I could be the reason Evie came to live with us, he would love me again, and it would be okay. And then I thought if I could prove to him I could be trusted with his illness, that I could love him anyway—but nothing can fix him. I can’t fix him.”

“No, you can’t.”

“But I can’t leave him either,” she whispered. “I can’t leave him alone. What might he do if he felt completely alone and isolated? I would never forgive myself.”

“Then we will do whatever we have to do to get him help, Carly,” Courtney told her. “We will put him on the road to recovery if it’s the last thing we do. I promise you. I won’t leave you alone either.”

Warehouse: Jason’s Office

Jason strode into his office, a bit chagrined he was the last to arrive as Bernie, Johnny, Max, and Tommy had already arranged themselves at—he blinked. “Is that a conference table?”

“You hate sitting behind the desk when we report.” He gestured to the head of the table where a seat sat. “This way we’re all comfortable.”

Whatever. Jason took the seat. “Sonny’s condition first—was Stan able to get anything from the records?” he asked Bernie.

“Sonny had a gunshot to the upper chest. It was relatively serious, just due to previous damage. His lung collapsed, which could have been worse if treatment had been delayed. He was operated on, and upgraded to stable condition around eleven last night.” The older man hesitated. “And Carly asked for a psych consult.”

Max brightened. “Yeah? Mrs. C is finally coming around?”

“She told the attending—Dr. Ford—that her husband had been diagnosed with depression and prescribed accordingly. She gave him medication. Carly also told him that his condition seemed to be worsening over the last few months.” Now he was quiet for a moment. “And that Sonny had been abusive.”

Jason lunged to his feet. “What? He hit Carly?”

“Explains why she shipped the boys away,” Johnny said to Tommy. “Vinnie said there’d been an argument and shattered glass, but he’d thought Sonny had smashed another mini bar.”

“There isn’t much more information, Jason, but she merely said his temper was dangerous, and she wasn’t convinced about the diagnosis of depression. Dr. Ford said he’d put in the request, but couldn’t promise anything. They don’t normally do them because a family member asks for it—Sonny has to demonstrate behavior to necessitate it.”

“I’ll call my father,” Jason said tightly. “I can pull strings. Make sure it gets done.” He blinked, belatedly realizing he had referred to Alan Quartermaine as his father, but continued, resuming his seat. “How long will he be in the hospital?”

“A week, maybe more, depending on his recovery time,” Bernie reported. “We’ve got some space, Jason. It’s what we needed. He’ll recover, but if we get a psych consult—maybe we get Sonny under control.”

“What do we know about Junior? Max,” Jason looked to the other man. “Did he go to the girlfriend?”

“He called her,” Max told him. “We had her phones tapped. She went to pick him up at Van Ess and Courtland, then took him home. She’s pretty swift for a civilian. She brought a bag of trash in her backseat, opened the door as if she was going to toss it in a dumpster, and he snuck in while the door was open. If we hadn’t been looking for the pickup, we might have missed it. And she took him home. I don’t know the condition, but he was alive.”

“Did he contact Daddy?” Johnny demanded. “Why didn’t we grab the little punk?”

“We got a bug in the apartment,” Max said with an annoyed glare at his colleague. “Johnny doesn’t want to call his father yet. He’s not an idiot—if he tells Anthony what happened to him, Anthony will come at us with guns blazing. He thought about calling him, but Nadine told him about the rumors. And apparently, Jason, because she’s met you and knows Emily, she trusts you. She wants Johnny to lay low a day or two to get his strength back and reach out to you. He called his father to assure him he was okay.

Jason exhaled slowly, dipping his head. Johnny Zacchara was alive and well, and because he’d had the good fortune to hook up with one of Emily’s co-workers, they were going to have a reprieve. They were going to avoid a war with Anthony Zacchara after all.

“We’ll wait for Junior to reach out to us,” Jason said after a moment. “Keep an eye on them, but we don’t need the bug in the apartment. Give them some privacy. Just keep the phone tap and the watch on the building.”

“Thank fucking God for small miracles,” Johnny said, voicing the relief palpable in the room. “Just think of how this could have gone completely wrong. If Junior didn’t have that contact with you in New York, if Nadine Crowell didn’t know your sister, we’d be fucked nine ways from Sunday. Thank God you hooked up with Elizabeth.”

Jason glared at him. “Johnny. Shut up.” He looked to Tommy. “Give Stefano a call. We know Junior’s been in touch, so we don’t need to give more details. We’re just resolving the situation.” He looked back to Johnny. “You talked to Ramon? Bernie farmed this out to you.”

“I did.” Johnny cracked his knuckles. “I told Ramon that he and his boss better have a damn good reason for Diego Lopez being in our area and going after Anthony Zacchara’s son, and if he didn’t want us to blow up his next shipment, well, then, he’d better give me some damn answers.”

“Real subtle, O’Brien.” Max rolled his eyes.

“And?” Jason prompted.

“And Ramon told me his boss didn’t answer to me or Jason Morgan. Until he was told otherwise, Sonny Corinthos is the head of the organization. He requested some help, Hector supplied it. If we have a damn problem with that, maybe we should solve our own first.”

“He’s got a point,” Tommy said.

“And we’ve resolved it,” Jason said, tightly. “Sonny is under control. Johnny Zacchara is safe. And Johnny, make sure Ramon and Hector Ruiz know otherwise now. Sonny’s not in charge. Tell him if he has any problems with that, he might try finding another route for shipping his guns and other products to Canada. If one more member of his family steps up here without an invitation, we’ll send him home in a body bag.”

“I love when he gets angry,” Max said to Bernie. “He makes you proud to be an American.”

“So things are okay now,” Bernie said. “We can get back to business. Jason, please make sure Elizabeth knows she has our deepest condolences for her grandmother.”

“Yeah.” Jason rubbed his eyes. “But things aren’t okay yet. Until I have Junior in front of me and we can make amends for his troubles, until I know Ruiz and Zacchara aren’t a threat—I can’t pretend we’re at peace. We’re at a stalemate. We’ll see if the psych consult makes any difference. Let’s not pretend things are going to be normal.”

“Normal.” Johnny snorted as he got to his feet. “Sonny’s not in charge anymore. It’ll be fucking Disney World from now on.”

“Johnny. Shut up.”

Nadine’s Apartment: Bedroom

 Johnny leaned back against the pillows. Nadine had patched up the nick in his arm where a bullet had grazed it, he’d taken a long hot shower, and she’d ordered Chinese food.

This was the best he’d felt in weeks.

Nadine bit her lip as she glanced out the curtains. “I feel like I’m harboring a fugitive,” she murmured.

“Hey.” Johnny scowled. “I’m the victim here.” But he knew what she meant—until she could arrange a meeting with Jason Morgan, he wasn’t in the clear.

And he wasn’t as convinced as she was about Jason Morgan’s relative trustworthiness, but he was willing to give the man the benefit of the doubt. After all, Sonny Corinthos had been behind his abduction and beatings. He’d never brought in his number one guy, which made him believe Nadine’s rumors.

If Jason Morgan had sanctioned that operation, he would have been carrying it out—not Sonny.

“I’m sorry about all of this,” he told her. “I told you I wasn’t involved in any of this. I wasn’t lying, but—”

“But your last name is still Zacchara.” Nadine let the curtain fall back into place as she turned to him. “You may not work for your father, but you have his name. I get it. I had to leave Ohio because of my sister.”

“Nadine—”

“We can walk away from our family, but we can’t escape it. If I didn’t want to be Jolene Crowell, Angel of Mercy’s sister, I had to go somewhere where her name wasn’t known.” Nadine curled up next to him on the bed. “I’m just so glad you’re okay. I didn’t know what to do.”

“You did fine.” He kissed the top of her head, drawing her closer to him. “My father is not someone you can call on lightly. If you had, he wouldn’t have been kind to Jason or Sonny. And you know, maybe they both suck, maybe only Sonny is the asshole. But they have kids. Families.” He looked at the ceiling. “We’ll talk to Jason in a few days. You’ll need to make the contact—maybe you should track down his fiancée—”

“Her grandmother just died,” Nadine murmured. “The whole hospital is talking about her—she’d been a nurse there for more than forty years—I hate to annoy her right now—”

“But she’s engaged to Jason Morgan. And believe me, if he’s been looking for me, he’ll be glad to set up a meeting. I’m the only thing standing between him and my father.”

“That,” Nadine announced, raising herself up on her elbow and looking at him, “is a sucky place to be.”

“You’re not kidding.”

General Hospital: Sonny’s Room

Sonny turned his eyed, blinking his eyes to clear the blurriness. Where was he? What the hell had happened?

All he could remember was that little shit Johnny Zacchara knocking him to the ground. How the hell had he gotten loose? Had one of the men from Miami turned on him? Loosened the ropes? Had to be that. No one got the drop on Sonny Corinthos.

He blinked to find Carly sitting in a chair to his side, her legs pulled up in front of her as she absently looked towards the doorway. “Carly?” He coughed.

She turned to him, her eyes not changing. “You’re awake,” she said flatly, letting her legs drop to the floor. “I should get Dr. Ford—”

“What happened—” He managed to reach out his hand, to grab her arm. She winced and he let it drop. “Carly—”

“You were shot,” Carly told him in that dull tone. “I don’t know more than that.” She rose to her feet. “I called in a psych consult—”

“What?” Sonny twisted, tried to sit up, but his vision dimmed in front of him, the pain in his chest so fierce. “Damn it—”

“Something has to change, Sonny.” She folded up her sleeve and he frowned at the bruises. Who the hell had touched his wife? “I can’t do it anymore. I sent my boys away to keep them safe, but I want to be with them.”

Keep them safe? “Who did that?” he demanded. He knew those bruises—he’d seen them on his mother more than once. “I’ll kill them—”

“Look in the mirror.” Carly slid her sleeve down. “But we’re both to blame on that score. I stayed. I thought I could do it alone. But I couldn’t.” She looked at him, her dark eyes blank. “If you don’t cooperate with the psych consult, I’ll file for divorce and an order of protection. No judge is going to let you near the boys when I show them these bruises, when Courtney testifies about the threats you’ve made towards Jason—” Her shoulders slumped. “It’s over, Sonny. Something has to change.”

Sonny turned away. He didn’t know what the hell she was babbling about. He was fine. She was playing him, finding an angle. She knew he was planning to take the boys from her, to walk away. She was firing a preemptive strike. Well, fuck her. He was Sonny Corinthos.

Jason had taken his daughter and his organization, and now Carly thought she could take his boys? Use his sister against him?

“You’re right,” he told her evenly. “Something has to change.”

And as soon as he got out of this fucking hospital bed, everything would.

Hardy Home: Elizabeth’s Bedroom

Elizabeth closed her eyes, the tension sliding from her shoulders. “He’s safe? You know this for sure? Johnny Zacchara is okay?”

“We have men on his building.” Jason sat next to her and drew her into his embrace. “We won’t have to worry about Anthony, I got Hector Ruiz to back off, and with Sonny in the hospital—”

“You have a measure of control now.” Elizabeth pressed her forehead to his shoulder. “Oh, God. Jason, I was so scared. So scared you’d find him dead. Do you think he’ll cooperate? Does he know it was Sonny, not you?”

“Looks like his girlfriend convinced him to give us the benefit of the doubt.” He took in the scent of her hair. “I’m sorry, Elizabeth. I hated not being able to be here for you—”

“You were.” Elizabeth drew back. “Jason—no one could have predicted what happened on Friday—and you were gone only a few hours. You were there when it mattered.” She cupped his cheek. “You were with me when she passed, and you’ve been there every step of the way since. I don’t know how you managed it, but—”

“I delegated,” Jason told her. “And that’s how it’s going to be going forward. I couldn’t put you first that night, Elizabeth. It won’t happen again. I don’t want my life to revolve around what goes on in the warehouse. I want it to be about you, about the kids. About us. I want to be able to travel, to take you and the kids everywhere we ever talked about.”

“Jason—”

“I want you to paint the light in Italy, the mountains in Austria, the water in the Pacific—” He took a deep breath. “And I can do that. I trust Max and Johnny. And Bernie. I mean, there’s still some mopping up. Everything isn’t perfect yet. We don’t know how things are going to shake out with Sonny, but—”

She pressed her fingers to his lips. “I felt alone Friday,” she admitted. “But Nikolas and Emily were there five seconds later. You and I cannot live our lives just for one another. We each have family, friends, and obligations to the outside world. I hated that you had to leave, but Jason, for the first time…For the first time, I could feel that you hated it, too. I know you didn’t want to leave, but I could see that you had, too.”

“I just don’t want you to be sorry you took a chance on me,” he said after a moment. “I know I messed it up last time—”

“And so did I,” Elizabeth said gently. “I should have stayed. I should have screamed at you more. I should have been honest. I should have made you talk to me. We both made mistakes, Jason, because neither of us were ready. I needed to be stronger and you needed to learn how to trust me. We’ve done that. I’m not sorry we didn’t make it last time. We have Cameron, and we have Evie—” She hesitated. “About Evie—”

“I called Diane Miller,” he told her. “And I told her to start the adoption paperwork in November. I’m almost done with my year of guardianship. Sonny will never be stable enough.  I promised Sam I would love Evie and protect her. She’s my daughter.”

“She’s ours.” Elizabeth brushed her lips against his. “And that’s how she’ll stay. Jason, we got through the worst of it. And we’re still standing here. I love you. And I know you love me. Nothing else matters.”

August 26, 2015

This entry is part 28 of 34 in the The Best Thing

Part Four: Salvation

Bipolar robs you of that which is you. It can take from you the very core of your being and replace it with something that is completely opposite of who and what you truly are.
– Alyssa Reyans, Letters from a Bipolar Mother


Chapter Twenty-Eight
Cross your heart and say you’ve never given up
That you carried on when every door was shut
That you live, you live with no regret
We wear a smile to hide that we’ve been hurt before
Keep our disasters in a suitcase by the door
Cause you know, you know we’re only human

Broken Ones, Jacquie Mitchell


 Saturday, September 3, 2005

General Hospital: Emergency Room

 She looked so small, standing outside the hospital curtain in a pair of cotton shorts and t-shirt, a coat thrown hastily over her pajamas. Jason thanked the nurse who had helped him fill out the admission form before joining his fiancée.

“Did the doctor say anything yet?” he asked, putting an arm around Elizabeth’s shoulders. She leaned her head against his shoulders.

“She’s still in there—did you call Nora?”

“I did. She knows we’re not there.” Jason drew her away from the curtain, away from the jumble of voices and their medical jargon. “I called Steven. He’s on his way. And I called my sister.”

“No, Jason—” Elizabeth shook her head. “Emily’s working so much, and she’s pregnant—”

Jason nodded. “I know, but you know she’d be annoyed with you if you didn’t call her. She and Nikolas are on their way.”

“Why?” Elizabeth turned to him, her eyes red, exhausted, her cheeks stained with tears. “Because you think this is it? You think my grandmother is going to die tonight?”

“I—” Jason sighed. “I don’t know. I just—I just want to make sure you have everything you need. I’m sorry, maybe we should have waited for the doctor before I called Emily, but with the launch always taking so long—”

And the annoyance in her eyes died out, like an extinguished candle. “No, no. I know—I do. I want Emily here. I want her to tell me it’ll be okay, and Nikolas and Steven are friends. I want you all here—”

“Elizabeth—I came as soon as I got the call—” Bobbie touched her shoulder, stepping up to them. “Honey, do we know anything yet?”

“No, no, not yet.” Elizabeth turned from Jason’s embrace to hug her old friend. “Thank you for being here, Bobbie.”

“Of course.” Bobbie reached out to squeeze Jason’s hand. “We need to talk, Jason, when you have a moment.” She drew Elizabeth away for a moment. “Is Monica in with her?”

“I called her from the car, she got here at the same time we did,” Jason told her. “We’re just waiting to hear—”

There was an explosion of movement, of shouting just before the door to the emergency room swung open and a stretcher was rolled in, with several paramedics surrounding it—and behind them, Carly rushed in.

Jason blinked and then focused on the gurney. Sonny. Sonny had been shot. He had already taken a step towards the scene when Carly saw him and rushed over.

“You’re here already! Oh, you always come through!” She threw her arms around him and burst into tears. “I don’t know what happened. The police called me—they found Sonny in some dirty warehouse, someone called 911 but didn’t stick around—”

And then Carly drew away, tears glistening on her cheeks as she took in Elizabeth and Bobbie at his side. “Jase? What’s going on? Mama? Elizabeth?”

“My grandmother,” Elizabeth said faintly. “She’s…” She folded her arms across her chest and took a deep breath. “She’s in with the doctors.”

He should stay with her—he had a bad feeling about this, and he wanted to be with her when the worst happened.

But Sonny had been found in a warehouse, left alone. Not Johnny Zacchara. Had he escaped? Had Ruiz’s men deserted him there to die? Had they taken a body with them?

“You should check on Sonny,” Elizabeth said.

Her eyes were tired, her tone resigned. And when Jason looked at her, her expression was unreadable. As if this was merely the first in the long line of disappointments she could expect at his side. God, he hated himself for even considering leaving her with her grandmother on her deathbed.

“The doctors are with him—”

“Jason—” Carly protested.

“—so, I just need to call someone to—” Jason continued.

“But you’ll be thinking about it and worrying.” Elizabeth nodded to the doors of the emergency room. Steven was there, his hair disheveled. “Steven is here. Emily and Nikolas are on their way. I have Bobbie, your mother is taking care of her.” She attempted a smile but failed. “You have a job, Jason. I get it. Go take care of it. I’ll be fine.”

He hesitated, but now wasn’t the time for this conversation. He did have to take care of this, and it should be done personally, but it didn’t make it any easier.

This would be the last time she’d have to make this kind of sacrifice, Jason told himself as he offered a brief greeting to Steven before taking Carly’s arm and directing her away.

Elizabeth deserved better, and he was going to figure out how to give it to her. As soon as he could locate Johnny Zacchara, get Sonny the treatment he needed, he was going make some changes.

General Hospital: Emergency Room

 “Bits, where’s Jason going?”

Elizabeth sighed and turned to her brother. “Something came up at work and it can’t be put off.” She took his arm, winding her own through it. “It’s okay. I have you and Bobbie. Jason called Em and Nikolas—”

Steven looked as though he wanted to argue, but what was the point? Elizabeth had fallen in love with someone who could never make her his first priority one hundred percent of the time. She would have to make do with ninety percent.

And she would. This was a unique situation, she told herself, as she, Steven, and Bobbie sat in the hard plastic chairs of the waiting room, waiting desperately for some good news from Monica.

There would always be problems, always be rivals—she’d been around long enough to know that, but not like this. Not with Sonny putting them in danger, not with so much at stake. Maybe the next time, Jason would be able to delegate it. If he was in charge, he’d need someone to fill the position Jason had once held for Sonny.

It would be okay. They would get through this.

“Bobbie—” Elizabeth looked her suddenly. “You should be with Carly—I didn’t even think—”

“She has Jason,” Bobbie said. “I’m right where I need to be.” Her mouth was set in a thin line. “If I thought Jason would be here, I’d go with her. Elizabeth, I don’t understand—”

“But I do,” Elizabeth cut in gently. “And I don’t love it, but I made my choices. They’re hard, and right now, I hate them. But I made them. There are things only Jason can take care of.”

Steven grunted from her side, but there was nothing either them could say. It was bad timing that things with Sonny would blow up at the same time her grandmother had a health crisis, but this would pass.

Monica stepped out of the curtain, her expression grave. “Steven, Elizabeth.”

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Elizabeth rose, and Bobbie’s hand remained tight in hers as the older man also stood. “Monica—”

“I’m sorry…” Jason’s mother strode forward. “She’s not gone, but…”

“It won’t be long,” Steven said roughly. “A few hours?”

“Maybe.” Monica swiped at her eyes. “We’re moving her to a room and I promise you, we’ll make her as comfortable as possible.” She looked around, and probably wanted to ask about Jason, but mercifully, said nothing.

Elizabeth’s grandmother would be gone by morning, and the last thing she wanted to talk about was Jason.

“I should call Mom and Dad, Sarah.” Steven cleared his throat. “We won’t be able to see her right away, you know.”

“I’ll go to the house,” Bobbie offered. “Get you a change of clothes. Maybe pick up coffee on the way back?” She patted Elizabeth’s shoulder. “What do you think?”

“That sounds fine.” Elizabeth nodded. She sank back into a chair. “I’ll—I’ll wait here for Gram to be moved—”

Steven hesitated. “I can wait to call—”

“I’ll go in a bit,” Bobbie started, but Elizabeth waved them both off. She was fine. She was sad, of course, she told them, but they’d expected this, and Jason would be back in a few minutes.

They accepted her lies, and they both separated, leaving the ER through different doors, leaving Elizabeth alone in the plastic chair, twisting her engagement ring on her finger.

She loved him. She’d made the right choice, but she couldn’t stand it right now.

Emily strode into the ER then, Nikolas on her heels. And it was the concern, the worry in her best friend’s face that did it. Elizabeth took one look at her and crumpled into tears.

She could fall apart now, because Emily and Nikolas would understand. She didn’t need to be strong for them.

Warehouse: Jason’s Office

 Carly had been annoyed when Jason didn’t do more than make sure she had a guard before leaving the hospital. He wanted to put the things he needed to take care of in motion so he could get back to the hospital.

He didn’t think Audrey had a lot of time left, and he wanted to be with Elizabeth. He needed to be there for her, to make sure she understood that he would be there for her the way she’d supported him all these months. She wasn’t making a mistake to be with him and he wanted her to believe that.

“What do we know about the shooting?” Jason demanded. “Bernie?”

“911 call came in, reporting shots fired,” Bernie responded. “By the time paramedics arrived, Sonny was alone, but there were signs of a struggle. Our guy at the PCPD gave me the preliminary police report. A chair was broken, some rope, some cloth that may have been used as a gag—”

“He must have been keeping Junior there,” Max said. “As soon as the cops clear the area, we’ll start our own search. There was some blood on the floor, two casings — one went into Sonny, so maybe the other went wild or Junior was hit.”

“But no evidence that anyone was dragged or removed from the scene,” Bernie continued. “There was a bit of a blood trail leading out the back door, but the cops lost it. Someone walked out of there, bleeding. Maybe it was Junior.”

Jason scrubbed his hands over his face. “Okay. Okay. Sonny is under wraps for the moment. I want a guard stationed at the hospital, but he’ll have an officer on the door so work around that.  I want to reach out to Ramon—ask what the hell Diego Lopez is doing in my territory without an invitation. We can afford to be confrontational now. We have to be. We have to make Ruiz the bad guy if Junior goes home to Anthony.”

“We have the girlfriend under surveillance, but there’s been no contact. If Junior’s hurt, he didn’t go to any of the area hospitals. He still might go to her. She’s a nurse. If we can intercept him there, maybe we can stop him from going to Anthony.” Max shifted. “Jason—”

Jason held up his hand. “Bernie, what’s the status on the new house? I want it up and running by the end of the week.” It would be unlikely they would be moving there any time soon with Audrey’s status, but he wanted it as a backup just in case.

“We’re finishing it up, it’ll be done.” Bernie exchanged a glance with Max. “Ah, Jase, Cody told us Mrs. Hardy is in the hospital—”

“I’m getting back there shortly. I had to deal with this.”  He took a deep breath. “Max, stay on the girlfriend and put men in the field to look at the route between the warehouse and the girlfriend’s. He’ll go there first—she hasn’t seen or heard from him in three weeks, we know it was relatively serious—he’d be an idiot not to check in with her first. Our best chance to hold off Anthony’s wrath is to intercept him there. Bernie, get a hold of Ramon, and get us answers on Diego. And I won’t be needing that meeting after all. I’m not traveling to Miami when Hector Ruiz disrespected me by sending his man into my town without a word. Make that clear.”

He tried to look for another angle—had he covered it all? Was there anything left? “Bernie, get Tommy on the phone with Stefano. Tell him we have a line on Junior’s status. We’re going to throw Ruiz under the bus. Make it look like a frame job. Make sure Zacchara thinks we’re doing all we can up here, but that Ruiz is the culprit. I don’t want him throwing any more support at Sonny.”

“Shouldn’t we wait until we actually know where Junior is?” Bernie asked. “It seems risky—”

“It’s preventative. We don’t know if we’ll be able to intercept the kid. I want Zacchara to know we’re on his side. We might make it through this unscathed if Junior gets home alive.”

“Jason,” Max said. “Johnny and I got this. We can make the necessary moves.”  Jason just looked at him. “We’ve been talking about it—you need some guys to step up. Be your lieutenants. To delegate to. We know your big picture. We can take care of the details. You should be with Elizabeth.”

“That’s right,” Bernie told Jason. “Cody is taking point on security. The kids are safe at the house, Carly’s boys are secure at the Brownstone. We know the priorities. You can trust us.”

“Call me if you find the kid or when Ramon gets back to us about Lopez.” Jason tucked his cell phone in the pocket of his jeans. “I’ll be at the hospital.”

General Hospital: Audrey’s Room

 It was unlikely, Monica had told them, that Audrey would regain consciousness—she wasn’t receiving enough oxygen from her lungs due to the heart problems. Audrey had requested that no measures be taken at this point—no machines to breathe for her—they would never be able to turn them off.

So Audrey would slip away from them at some point, and all they could do was wait.

It had been an hour since Jason had left when Steven roused himself to look at his quiet sister. Emily and Nikolas were outside with Bobbie and Monica. Nikolas had taken on the responsibility of transporting the Hardy-Webber clan from their various points around the planet—if they could get away, Nikolas would make sure they got here.

Only family was allowed to visit in the ICU, and truthfully, Steven wanted a moment alone with his sister.

“You know that I like Jason,” Steven said, breaking the silence. Elizabeth just looked at him before looking at her grandmother. “I do, Bits. I know how happy you’ve been, and how much he loves you. I can see that. I just—” He dipped his head. “I don’t know. It doesn’t seem right.”

“I wish he were here,” Elizabeth murmured, “but if I dwell on it, I’ll start to resent him for things I know he can’t change. Things I told him I could handle. And I can. Jason has been honest with me about the problems he’s having. It’s not his fault Gram’s health suffered at the same time.”

“But—”

“It would be different if Sonny weren’t ill.” She shot him a dark glance. “And I’m not talking about tonight. I’m talking about his mental health. He’s dangerously unstable, and the problem has just gotten worse this last month. It’s not Jason’s fault, and I’m not going to hold it against him. He can’t be everything to everyone, and I won’t be one more person making demands on him—”

“You’re not one more person—” Steven huffed. “You’re his fiancée. He wants you to marry him—”

“I love you, Steven, I do, but you don’t know what Jason and I have been through these last few years. I hate that he’s not here, okay? I hate it. But I know he hates it, too. And I know he’s doing everything he can to be back here. What do you want me to do? Tell him it’s over because he’s not here? I love him. I know what he’s going through. His life is falling apart, too, Steven. I’m not going to make him feel bad about how he has to handle it.”

Steven sighed. “All right. All right, you’re right. You know your situation. I just—” He shook his head. “I’ve never been there for you the way I should have. I just kept my head down when Mom and Dad harped on you about your grades, about your behavior. I headed out when I went to college, and I never came home. We weren’t as close as we should have been. I wasn’t here for Lucky, for Ric. For the things you’ve been through.”

“I never held it against you,” she said dully. “We do what we have to do. And you’ve been great this last year. I know you love me, that you want the best for me.” She shifted in her chair. “I know what I’m doing, Steven. Jason may not be the choice you would make, that Mom or Dad, or even Gram would make for me, but he’s my choice and I know he’s the right one. I love him.”

“Okay.” And Steven let the conversation drop. There was no point in harping on it, because there was no right answer. Not everything in life was black and white. And while a mobster had never his dream for his baby sister, it wasn’t as if she hadn’t tried guys who’d walked the straight and narrow. Lucky had been a disaster and Ric—Ric had damaged her self-esteem, her dignity, her soul.

He’d never particularly enjoy having a criminal in the family, but if he treated Elizabeth right, well, Steven could overlook it.

Twenty minutes later, Jason slipped into the room to sit next to Elizabeth. Steven saw the tension in her expression ease—she hadn’t expected him back so fast, or maybe at all. But there he was, holding her hand.

Another hour passed in silence—Bobbie and Emily came in to change out the coffee, to press some food on all of them. Monica said Audrey’s situation hadn’t changed—it wouldn’t be long now, and Nikolas reported that the Webbers were prepared to leave Africa for a few days, that Sarah would be able to fly out for a memorial service if they held it on Tuesday or Wednesday. Uncle Tom would fly in from Georgia, and TJ would be in from Washington.

Just before dawn, Audrey March Hardy drew in her last breath.

Elizabeth rose, her face as pale as chalk, and reached for her grandmother’s limp hand. She pressed a kiss to it before pressing it against her heart. “Be at peace, Gram, and be with Gramps. He’s been waiting for you—and I know he’ll take care of you.” She turned into Jason’s embrace, and started to cry.

Nadine’s Apartment: Living Room

 Nadine set her cell phone down for the seventh time. She couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, and had barely been able to draw in a decent breath since the news had broken the night before.

Sonny Corinthos had been shot and taken to the hospital. The news reported that sources in the PCPD said it had been a struggle, and that another man was believed to have been shot but was currently on the run.

And while Nadine had no reason to believe it, she knew in her heart that Sonny Corinthos had taken Johnny all those weeks ago—and that he’d been the other man.

He’d been shot and he’d disappeared.

What if he’d fallen into the lake? What if he passed out? What if he had died? Oh, God, would anyone even bother to come tell her? Would she never know?

She should call Johnny’s father. He would know. He could tell her. She could trust him now. Johnny told her that if anything happened to him, if Nadine knew for certain, then she should call Anthony Zacchara. Anthony was ruthless, but he would protect her.

But maybe she could try Jason Morgan. She’d read the papers—she knew the gossip. Jason had taken over for Sonny, though no one could say how they knew it. Maybe Jason could tell her where Johnny was.

Her cell lit up with an unidentified number, but she scrambled to answer it. “Hello?”

“Nadine?”

Oh, God. His voice. “Johnny, thank God, thank God. Where are you? I’ll come to you. I’m so glad you’re okay, I was scared, I didn’t call your father, but I was going to, but I just didn’t know if I should—where are you?”

And like always, Johnny patiently waited out her rambles. “I’m at a payphone near Van Ness and Courtland. I need—” He coughed. “I need you to come get me. I was afraid to show up at your place, I thought they’d be watching, but maybe you could come here and I could sneak in your car.”

“We’ll make it work. I’m coming to get you. Stay right there.”

She hung up the phone and burst into tears. He was okay. She could do anything now she knew he was okay.

Nadine wiped at her eyes after a moment and reached for her keys. She had a rescue operation to put into action.

August 20, 2015

This entry is part 27 of 34 in the The Best Thing

If terror falls upon your bed
And sleep no longer comes
Remember all the words I said
Be still, be still, and know

Be Still, The Fray


Friday, September 2, 2005

Hardy Home: Living Room

 “Do you need another pillow, Gram?” Elizabeth asked as she set a cup of tea on the table next to her grandmother.

“I’m fine, darling.” Audrey pressed a hand on her granddaughter’s arm. “Sit with me for a moment.” Elizabeth bit her lip, but settled herself gingerly on the sofa next to her.

She was so tired these days and nearly ready for the end—but every morning she woke, it was a blessing. Audrey was prepared to go, but her heart broke knowing the turmoil she would leave her beloved grandchildren with.

“I always wanted a daughter,” Audrey said softly. Her hands felt thin, even cold, as she took Elizabeth’s much warmer ones within her own. “Did I tell you that?”

“No.” Elizabeth smiled at her. “Though I guess I thought you and Gramps might have wanted more children.”

“Ah, well, we were blessed in you, in Sarah, Steven…” She bit her lip. “And for a while, TJ, though once Tom and Simone divorced, we never did see as much as him as we’d liked. Maybe I ought to have fussed more, but it wasn’t—” Audrey blinked now, the tears stinging for the lost years with her only son, with the only continuation of her own blood line.

But here, in her beloved Elizabeth and Steven, here was the real Hardy lineage. Oh, how proud Steve would have been of these two. “When you and Sarah came to live here, I know it was rocky. And I know we did not always see eye to eye.”

“I didn’t make it easy,” Elizabeth said with a quick smile. “I was a terror, Gram—”

And how like her granddaughter to take the blame, as if Audrey hadn’t had a hand in any of it. She should have insisted Jeff and Andrea send her both girls, instead of only the one. Elizabeth had felt unwanted, unloved left in Colorado. And she’d always been compared to Sarah, always found wanting.

“You were a teenager, my love.” Audrey smiled at her. “I like to think we muddled through it the best we could. I made so many mistakes, I said so many things—I would do anything to take them back—”

“Gram, no…” Elizabeth squeezed her grandmother’s hands. “No, no. Listen, I am who I am today because of the choices I made, because of the people I had in my life. I like who I am now. I have my little boy, I have Evie, and Jason. I love my family, I wouldn’t be here without my choices. And you…” A tear slid down her cheek. “You challenged me to always be better—”

What a kind way to say Audrey had always stood in judgment, in moral superiority—as if Audrey herself had never made a single mistake. “I love Steven and Sarah, but you…” she managed to reach a hand out and cup Elizabeth’s chin. “You are more than just my granddaughter. I am humbled by the courage you’ve shown in your life. So many times, my dear, you have been knocked down, you’ve stumbled—but you’ve never let it get the best of you.”

“Gram—”

“Your grandfather adored you, you know that?” Audrey said. “He always said you would prove all the naysayers wrong. Audrey, he would tell me, the boy is wrong for being upset at our Lizzie’s science grades. She’s a dreamer, not a doctor. We need more dreamers.”

“I never—” Elizabeth’s voice shook. “I never knew that.”

“Oh, yes. He knew Steven and Sarah would go on to be doctors—and he loved them for it, but he said the world needed more dreamers. Doctors—they heal wounds, but dreamers—they heal the mind. He loved your scribbles, your doodles.” She paused, taking as deep a breath as she could manage. “When I saw your beautiful work in New York, I knew your grandfather was with me. Do you know what he would have said if he were there?”

“What?” Elizabeth asked.

“Audrey, see? I was right. Our little Lizzie’s a dreamer with a beautiful view of the world. I have to see people as they are so I can fix them, but my Lizzie, oh, she sees them as they could be. The potential in them. She’ll make the world a better place.”

“I wish he’d been there.” Another tear slid down her granddaughter’s cheeks. Then another. “When he died, I wanted to die with him, Gram. I used to think I was a changeling, you know? Switched at birth, but Gramps always made me feel like I belonged. Like it was okay to be me.”

“I know.” Audrey let her hand fall back to her lap, exhausted by the effort. “I failed in that—” When Elizabeth shook her head, “I did, Elizabeth. Don’t let me off the hook. I judged you. I tried to force you into a mold. I—I tried to make you feel ashamed of who you were, of who you loved.”

“You were trying to protect me—”

“I know things are difficult for you right now. For Jason. I don’t pretend to have the answers, but I see the guards. I see the tension, you can feel it when Jason comes home. And you’re not living here just to be with me.”

“Gram—”

“When everything feels as though it’s falling apart,” Audrey told her, “that’s when it’s most important to hold on to each other. I want to be here for you, for Steven. I want to see Cam and Evie grow up, I want to see my Steven humbled by love. I want to be there when you get married—” Her chest tightened. “But I won’t. Not in body. I know I don’t have much time left, my love—”

“Gram—”

“But I will always be with you,” she continued over Elizabeth’s protests. “Just as your grandfather is always with you. You have his eyes, his kindness. His strength. And I like to think you have my stubborn nature, my determination to show the world it couldn’t break me. It never did, and it will not break you.” She pressed a hand to Elizabeth’s cheek. “I believe in you, my dreamer, my Elizabeth. And if you hold on to your children, to Jason, to your family, you will make it through anything.”

“I love you so much, Gram.” Elizabeth swallowed hard. “And I am so grateful I broke the rules and came here. I could not imagine my life anywhere else, with anyone else. And I want to be you when I grow up.”

“Darling…” Audrey smiled, but did not continue. Elizabeth was already better than Audrey had ever hoped to be. She patted Elizabeth’s cheek once more. “Shall we turn on the soaps? I’m curious to see what Erica Kane is up to today.”

Warehouse: Jason’s Office

 Jason put his head in his hands and drew in a deep breath. “Hector Ruiz.”

“I’m sorry, Jason.” Bernie shifted in his chair and glanced at Max. “But he put his top lieutenant on a flight to Port Charles two weeks ago. Stan found the flight records. I put Johnny on tracking him, but for now, we know Diego Lopez is here, under the radar and has been since Sonny dismissed Tommy’s crew.”

He hadn’t quite proved that Sonny was working with the Ruiz organization, but the evidence was certainly damning. And the only thing that would make this situation worse would be discovering Johnny Zacchara’s body.

A fight on two fronts with Ruiz and Zacchara. The nightmare scenario he’d been trying to avoid.

“Max—”

“Carly sent the boys to stay with Bobbie yesterday,” the former guard interrupted. “I don’t know why—Rocco and Vinnie are at the Brownstone, I talked to them, but all they know is there was some sort of argument, some sort of blow up, and Carly packed the boys off.”

Jason raised his head and frowned. “What about Carly? Did she leave, too?” Could she finally be coming around?

“No, she stayed. I don’t know that Bobbie even got an explanation,” Max continued. “I talked to her, though, and strengthened security. We’re upgrading her alarm system, checked over the exits, but the place is a nightmare. She still rents out the top floors, and there’s those tenants.”

“Do what you can for now.” Jason rubbed his eyes. At least Michael and Morgan were temporarily out of the line of fire. Maybe Courtney had made some progress since her visit two weeks ago.

Nothing else good had happened since Jason had assumed full control a week ago. Max and his crew were tearing apart the city looking for Johnny Zacchara, Tommy was trying to stall Stefano as Junior’s absence was starting to become more concerning for his father, Johnny was attempting to run business as usual and rebuild the warehouse—

And Sonny had gone radio silent. Jason no longer tried to contact his former partner, and Sonny had not sought him out.

“The girlfriend?” Max said. “She’s acting off. We don’t know much about her, but Stan pulled her personnel file from the hospital. She used to have relatively good reports—well-liked, efficient, but Nadine Crowell now has several reprimands. Being late, being distracted—she’s on thin ice. And all the bad reports start around Junior’s disappearance. She hasn’t gone to the police or Anthony, though.”

“Junior must have warned her about going to him for help,” Bernie said. “Jason—”

“He’s been missing now for nearly three weeks,” Jason interrupted. “We have to start figuring out what we do next. I can’t—” He exhaled. “I can’t keep putting my head in the sand and pretending we’ll magically find the kid alive. At this point, if Junior survives, he has a legitimate grudge against the organization. He’d have every right to go to his father and demand retribution.”

“If we could nab him first—” Max started.

“It doesn’t matter. We have to cut Sonny off at the knees. He’s using Hector Ruiz to go after the Zaccharas. Maybe there’s something there.” Jason hesitated. “If we were the ones to go to Zacchara—”

“That is fucking suicide,” Max cut in, sharply. He rose to his feet. “No way in hell, Jason. We can’t tell Anthony Zacchara that Sonny snatched his kid three weeks ago—he’ll take it out on us just to be contrary—”

“Maybe not,” Bernie interjected. “Trevor Lansing has a lot of influence with Anthony, and we all know he hates Sonny. We could turn that to our advantage, don’t you think?”

“Maybe we leave Anthony out of it,” Jason said. “I could take a meeting with Hector and make it clear that I’m willing to go to Anthony. If Hector thinks Anthony will come for him—and he will—he might give up Diego Lopez’s location to save his skin. We’re in contact with the Zaccharas. We know Hector’s involved.”

“He could call your bluff, go to Anthony himself, and blame it on you,” Bernie told him. “There’s a lot of ways this could go wrong, Jason—”

“Can we keep sitting around? We’ve tried everything else. I’ve tried to reason with Sonny, we’ve tried tailing him, we’ve torn the city apart to look for the kid—” Jason shook his head. “I don’t see any other options. I have to go to Anthony or Hector.  If I go to Hector, I have a prayer to get Junior home alive.”

“And it’s his sons that are the animals,” Max reminded the business manager. “We should thank our lucky fucking stars Javier and Manny aren’t on the ground up here. Hector can still be reasoned with to a certain extent. It’s worth a try, Jason.”

“I’ll call Ramon and request a meeting.” Bernie stood. “Ah, should I ask Hector to come to Port Charles or will you make the trip to Miami?”

Jason hesitated. He couldn’t go to Miami. Not now. Audrey could go any moment and he would never forgive himself if he were away—

But asking Hector Ruiz to come to him was a sign of disrespect. If Jason was requesting the meeting, it was customary for him to go to the other party. It was just how things were done.

“Two more days,” Max said, almost kindly. “Give me two more days to find Junior. You should talk this over with Elizabeth. You know if you take this meeting, you have to go to him. And you know she’ll understand.”

“She shouldn’t have to,” Jason muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. But Max was right. Elizabeth would see the bigger picture—he’d be gone half a day at most. “Monday morning, if nothing has changed, we’ll call Ramon and set up the meeting.” He rose to his feet. “But I’m done sitting around. If Hector sent Diego, he might send one of the boys next. And if you think a turf war with Anthony Zacchara is a nightmare, toss in the Ruiz boys—”

Bernie visibly shuddered. “I’ll throw myself into the lake,” he muttered. “Save them the trouble.”

Kelly’s: Courtyard

“Carly, I want you to come to the Brownstone with me.”

Her mother sat across from her, concern practically oozing from every pore, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.

“I can’t.” Carly stirred her ice tea idly. “But thank you for taking the boys, I hope it’s just temporary—”

“Carly…” Bobbie leaned forward, pushing her untouched bowl of chili to the side. “Courtney and I are very worried. I haven’t seen Sonny, but Courtney has and she was almost…I’d say she was terrified. For you, the boys, for Jason and Elizabeth—”

“She’s overreacting.”

She wasn’t, but Carly wasn’t going to admit that. How could she admit she’d gotten it all so very wrong? She’d thought by showing Sonny she could be trusted—that she didn’t believe he was crazy, he would come back to her.

She’d shown him the pamphlets Elizabeth had given her, proclaiming her belief that whatever Sonny’s doctor had told him must be correct. After all, he was the one with the degree—the one Sonny had actually spoken with. Elizabeth Webber was nothing more a waif with an overactive imagination. What the hell did she know about someone’s mind?

But his reaction had chilled her to the bone. He’d grabbed her, shook her, demanding to know where she’d gotten these pamphlets.

“Did Jason give them to you? Did he? That son of a bitch—I made him!”

 Carly shook her head, frantically, trying to get away from him. “No, no, Jason wouldn’t—Sonny, you’re hurting me—”

 “He thinks he’s got the power? He thinks he can beat me? I’ll destroy him—”

And then he’d tossed Carly aside, like a rag doll. She’d hit the mini bar on her way to the floor as Sonny stormed out of the room. Glass had shattered, and she had several cuts.

She should have called Jason then. She knew that. She should have believed Elizabeth.  But instead, Carly had stood up, grateful the boys were out with Courtney for the day. She had cleaned her cuts, swept up the glass, and calmly packed a bag for all of them.

It had been her intention to go, to leave, but Sonny had seen her leaving. And he’d told her what he would do to her if she walked away from him.

“No one takes my boys.” He twisted her arm, the already sore muscles protesting. “You think you can take what’s mine? You’re mine, they’re mine. No one leaves.”

So she’d stayed. She’d given the bags to Vinnie, told Courtney to take the boys to the Brownstone, and she’d stayed.

For now, Sonny believed they were visiting for a few days—it was closer to Michael’s summer camp, Carly had told him when he’d finally realized two days later the boys were gone. And Lucas was away at soccer camp in Vermont—her mother was so lonely.

And Sonny had agreed with a smile. He’d asked what’d happened to the minibar—because he didn’t remember their argument. Didn’t remember the bruises, the way he’d hurt her.

He’d apologized for how difficult things had been lately. His problems with Jason had spilled over, but he wanted to do better. He’d told her about his depression then, as if they’d never spoken of it before.

Now Carly honestly didn’t know what to do. How could she leave him when he was so desperately ill? How could she keep clinging to the belief that if only Jason hadn’t kept Evie, none of this would be happening?

Sonny needed her. He deserved someone who loved him to stick by him, not like Jason and Courtney who just wanted to put him away, to medicate him. To take away everything he loved.

“Carly?” Bobbie said. “Are you listening to me?”

“Yes.” Carly set her spoon down. “I am. I know Sonny is ill. And I know Courtney is concerned. I’m dealing with it.” She rubbed her arm, where a large dark purple bruise lay beneath the long sleeves. “He needs to adjust his treatment, but it’s hard to bring that up when he’s having problems with Jason. I’m not stupid, Mama. The boys are better off with you for now, and Evie is better off with Jason at the moment. Sonny is…”

Out of control. Beyond her ability to help. Oh, God, how did she get herself into this? How could she make it go away? Would he hurt her again?

How could she leave him? He’d be alone. He hated being alone.

“Sonny isn’t himself,” Carly said finally. “If I could make his problems with Jason better, I think it would help.”

“Carly, I’m not sure you can help Sonny right now. Please—”

“The boys don’t need to see his mood swings,” Carly interrupted. “They’ll just be upset, and I don’t want that for them. I can deal with it.”

Tell me I’m wrong, Mama. Make me stop. Force me to come with you. Oh, God. I don’t want to go back there. I don’t know what to do.

“My home is always open to you, Carly,” Bobbie told her. “But maybe you’re right. And Jason and Sonny will come around—they always do.”

Yes. Yes. She could cling to that. Jason and Sonny had always muddled through their problems, had always fixed what was wrong. She just had to hold strong, keep Sonny from falling completely over the edge until Jason fixed things. He always fixed things.

She could depend on Jason. He had never let her down.

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

 Nadine hesitated in front of the nurse’s station, studying the brunette intern scowling at the back of Dr. Patrick Drake’s head as the resident waited for the elevator.

It had been three weeks since Johnny had left her apartment, since he had called. Since his phone had gone dead. She hadn’t contacted the police, hadn’t called his family.

She didn’t know what was going on, but the last thing she wanted to do was make the situation worse. And if something had happened to Johnny, calling his father would make everything worse. She knew that.

And yet, it had been three weeks. Someone had to do something.

Nadine stepped up to the counter. “Emily, can I ask you a question?”

Emily glanced up. “Hey, Nadine. What’s up?”

“Um…” She shifted. “Your brother is Jason Morgan, isn’t he?”

“Yeah.” Emily set her pen down, her dark eyes concerned. “Nadine, is something wrong?  You’ve been so distracted lately—”

“I know.” Nadine looked away and saw Epiphany Johnson, the charge nurse, eying her with the usual stink eye. “Listen, if I—if I needed to talk to your brother about something, I could—I could trust him, couldn’t I?”

And it was to Emily’s credit that she didn’t ask why someone who had never spoken to her brother and wasn’t particularly close to Emily, was asking this question. She nodded. “Jason is the best person I know, and he’ll be there to help you. If you needed to talk to him.” She reached across the counter to place her hand over Nadine’s. “Call me, Nadine. And I’ll make sure you get in to see him, okay?”

“Thanks. I need to go before Epiphany throws me out the window.”

Hardy Home: Elizabeth’s Bedroom

 Elizabeth set aside her sketchbook when Jason opened the door. “You’re later than you thought you’d be,” she murmured as she sat up in bed. He sighed and sat on the chair to pull off his shoes.

“I…” He hesitated. “I have to talk to you about something.”

“That sounds ominous.” She pushed aside the thin blanket and rose from the bed. “What’s up? Did something happen?”

“It’s more what didn’t happen.” He pulled a pair of sweat pants from a dresser drawer and set them on top of the dresser. “I know we haven’t talked much about what’s been going on—not since we moved in. It’s not because I’m keeping things from you—” Jason turned. “It’s just—there’s no change.”

“I don’t need an itinerary of your day, Jason.” Elizabeth folded her arms across her chest. “I just need the big picture details. Don’t apologize, just tell me what’s going on.”

“Sonny—” He exhaled. Jason briefly explained Sonny’s involvement with the Ruiz organization and their plan to cut off a turf war. Elizabeth listened closely, but didn’t really see what it had to do with her.

“It sounds like your best bet, I don’t know what—” She hesitated. “Ruiz. That’s the one in Miami.” Elizabeth swallowed. “You’d have to meet him down there. That’s the way these things work.”

I’m the one asking for the meeting. If it were Tagliatti or Vega, I might be able to make them understand I don’t want to be away right now. Not even half a day.” Jason waited a moment. “But Ruiz is different. I have to be careful with him—”

“When do you leave?” Elizabeth murmured. “How soon?”

“I don’t want to go,” Jason told her. “Max is taking the weekend—one last effort to find Junior. If I could be assured I don’t have to deal with Zacchara—” He dipped his head. “But Bernie’s going to contact our guy in Miami on Monday morning, so maybe that afternoon. Tuesday, I don’t know yet.” He looked at her. “Elizabeth, if there was another way—”

“But there’s not.” Elizabeth took a deep breath. Resentment was wasted here. She’d walked into this with her eyes wide open and Jason had been brutally honest with her. He was in charge now, he couldn’t delegate this. She understood.

“Elizabeth—”

“What matters to me most of all,” Elizabeth cut in, “is that everyone stays safe. And if you have to go to Miami to make that happen, Jason, then you’ll have to do it.” She nodded. “It’s okay. Thank you for—thank you for waiting. I know you could have done it this weekend and called me from the plane—”

“I wouldn’t have—”

“But you didn’t.” He’d made her part of it, taken the time and effort to keep her in the loop. This wasn’t like last time. It was crappy timing, but it had to be done. “Jason, I understand, and I’m okay with it. It doesn’t make me the happiest woman in the world, but I love you, and this is just something that has to happen.” She took a deep breath. “I have Emily, Steven, and Nikolas. And Monica and Bobbie, if I need it.” She offered a hesitant smile. “Maybe—maybe I won’t need it.”

“Maybe.” He touched her shoulder, sliding his hand down to her elbow. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” But when he reached for her, she drew back slightly. “I just want to check on my grandmother before we go to bed, okay?”

She didn’t wait for his response, but instead, left the room and went down the hall to the room where her grandmother slept. She was okay. She could handle this. She didn’t have to like it, but she could handle it.

Elizabeth pushed her grandmother’s door open and stepped over the threshold. “Gram? What’s wrong?”

Audrey was sitting up in bed, her hand pressed to her chest. “I—I can’t—catch—” Her face was red, her shoulders rising rapidly. “Eliz—”

“Don’t talk, Gram.” She raised her voice. “Jason! Help!”

She was at her grandmother’s side, reaching for the phone when Jason arrived. He took Audrey’s pulse. “Mrs. Hardy,” he told her, “we could wait for the ambulance, or I could carry you down to the car and we can be at the hospital in ten minutes.” He looked at her. “Do you want to wait?”

She shook her head. “N-No—”

Elizabeth watched as Jason carefully lifted her frail grandmother into his arms and started for the door. “I’ll get my purse. I need to call Steven—”

Less than two minutes later, their SUV was speeding through the darkened streets.

Warehouse

 Johnny Zacchara had reached the point where death would be a blessing. Everything hurt. He couldn’t distinguish his own smell from his surroundings, which annoyed him more than anything else. He’d been bound and gagged for days. Weeks. He had water poured down his throat once a day and some bread. Water and fucking bread.

He wanted a glass of merlot and some fucking caviar if he survived this.

But even the water and bread had started to taste like a five course meal. He wanted to go home. He wanted to see his piano, Nadine’s smile, hell, he’d like to see his father one more time, his sister.

He’d settle for goddamn Trevor at this point.

A door creaked open and footsteps came closer. “Still holding out, I see.”

Exhausted, Johnny lifted his head and listened intently. One set of footsteps. The door had closed behind him. And the voice belonged to Sonny Corinthos. He was alone. For the first time, the fucking lunatic was by himself. His gag was removed, but his blindfold remained.

Could he do something with that?

“I didn’t burn down your warehouse,” Johnny bit out. “And if you kill me, my father—”

“Maybe you don’t give a damn about your own life.” A hand yanked Johnny’s head back by grabbing his hair. “Maybe I’m using the wrong leverage.”

Sonny’s voice was close now, his breath warm on Johnny’s face. “Maybe if you had some company—you have a sweet girlfriend, don’t you?”

No. No, no, no. If Sonny knew about Nadine, he could do this to her. And Johnny would admit to anything to keep them from touching her. He’d die, but they’d probably kill her, too. He had no illusions left.

He had to protect her.

And with a strength Johnny didn’t know was left, he twisted his head out of Sonny’s grip and rocked the chair backwards. He and Sonny both went crashing to the floor—

And chair shattered, allowing Johnny to get to his feet. They’d been bound to the chair, but not together. He still didn’t have his sight or use of his hands, but damn it, he could run.

He kicked out at where he thought Sonny might be and was relieved to hear the older man crash back to the floor. Johnny rushed forward, wincing when he crashed into the wall. Frantically, he rubbed his face against the cement, trying to loosen his blindfold.

And finally, it slipped around his neck. Johnny could see! And the ropes at his wrist—they were loose.

Within a few seconds, by the time Sonny had managed to get back to his feet, Johnny Zacchara was a free man. He rushed at the older man, his eyes on the gun at his waistband.

Johnny tackled Sonny to the floor again and grappled for the gun. He managed to get a grip on it, but then a searing pain shot through his shoulder.

Sonny also had a grip on his the gun and had managed to pull the trigger.

Fucking hell. With his last ounce of strength, Johnny head butted Sonny and got control of the weapon. He stood and shot blindly in Sonny’s direction, but he could hear voices rushing towards the room, footsteps clattering.

He ran for the back door, not caring if Sonny was dead or alive. He had to escape. He had to get home, to get help.

He disappeared into the inky dark Port Charles night.

August 12, 2015

This entry is part 26 of 34 in the The Best Thing

If we’re only ever looking back
We will drive ourselves insane
As the friendship goes resentment grows
We will walk our different ways
But those are the days that bind us together, forever
And those little things define us forever, forever

Bad Blood, Bastille


Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

 By the time Jason had finally managed to corner his partner, it was a week and a half after the warehouse fire. After Johnny Zacchara had disappeared without a trace only to end up in Sonny’s custody.

Their contacts in the Zacchara organization didn’t seem to think Anthony was aware of it, but if Johnny was MIA for much longer, the girlfriend was likely to contact him. She hadn’t yet, which meant she was all too aware of the reaction she’d trigger.

Jason stood just behind Sonny, who was calmly sipping bourbon as he stared out over his view of the waterfront docks. “Where is he, Sonny?”

Sonny turned and arched a brow. “I wasn’t aware you were in a position to give me orders,” the other man practically purred, the arrogance and self-certainty oozing from every word. “Remember? You told me you didn’t want the power.”

Once, Jason would have stepped around the question. He would have ducked the confrontation, but the reasons for doing so were gone.  Jason didn’t have to protect his guardianship of Evie or Carly’s ignorance.

Carly had never believed the lie—that was certain now, and Jason would rather be roasted over a pit of burning coals before surrendering custody of Sam’s daughter to this man.

Jason had hoped his illness could be controlled, that they could resurrect a semblance of their old life, their old friendship, but Sonny’s mental health would always be precarious, and Jason was no longer prepared to sacrifice his family or their men to the capricious nature of chemical imbalances.

“I don’t,” Jason said bluntly. “But you can’t handle it. You kidnapped Johnny Zacchara, Sonny. Tommy’s guys told us—you kept him in a warehouse and beat him, trying to force him to admit guilt. There’s nothing to admit.” Jason flung a copy of the final fire report at him. “It was an electrical fire. You’re starting a war over an accident. You didn’t wait for evidence, you didn’t wait for a reason to go after him.”

“I don’t need to wait.” Sonny ignored the papers as they settled at his feet. “You,” he scoffed. “They all worship you for your patience. For your steadiness. You’re not a fucking accountant, Jason. We don’t have the luxury of time here—”

“When you brought me into this business, you told me that there are two men I never want to piss off,” Jason interrupted. “Hector Ruiz, whose sons were ruthless animals even then, and Anthony Zacchara, a man rumored to have murdered his own wife while taking a shot at his kid. He’s insane, Sonny. And you know it. You fuck with his kid, Anthony Zacchara is going to unleash his people on you. On your family. On me and mine. We knew by the end of the day the fire was electrical, but you couldn’t wait a lousy six hours.” He fisted his hands. “Where is he?”

“I always wondered what it would take for you to turn on me,” Sonny mused. His lips curved into a bitter half-smile. “I screwed your woman, you didn’t blink. I left you in charge when you clearly weren’t ready, it didn’t seem to faze you. I cost you Elizabeth, and you just went about your business. I’ve all but destroyed Michael and Morgan’s childhood, but that’s not why you’re turning on me, is it?”

“I’m not—” Jason took a deep breath. “I’m not turning on you, Sonny. You’re—you know you’re not well. That whatever medication you were taking isn’t working. You need to go back to the doctor—”

“I’m in control, Jason.” Sonny sipped his bourbon. “My voice isn’t the one raised. Johnny Zacchara has done nothing but cause us trouble for months—”

“There was never any proof—”

“You didn’t want to see it because it meant you’d have to look away from your precious family,” Sonny sneered. “Because if you took your eyes off Elizabeth for a single minute, she’d run away like she always does. What? You think she won’t run now because you’re engaged? You’re still the naive little boy I took in all those years ago.”

“I want Johnny Zacchara,” Jason said evenly, ignoring the attacks. “We can sort out whatever the hell is wrong with you this time later. But I need him back. I need to pack him off to his father so I’m not facing a war from Anthony Zacchara—”

“You’re scared of a little territory scuffle?” Sonny chuckled. “That tells me you’re not cut out for this. I trusted you too much, that’s clear—”

“Anthony Zacchara doesn’t engage in scuffles,” Jason shot back. “When Moreno went after his trucking route, he blew up Moreno’s home and held his wife hostage for a month. For a fucking trucking route. What do you think he’ll do if he thinks you’ve got his son? Do you think he’ll care that I didn’t have a damn thing to do with it?”

No, Jason knew Anthony would blame him for letting Sonny lose control. Sonny would be destroyed, but Anthony would take personal pleasure in razing Jason and his family to the ground as a warning to others who let personal feelings rise above business.

“If his son wants to play with the big boys,” Sonny said, his voice still eerily calm, “Anthony should have known better than to send him.”

Jason bit off his protest. “Who are you working with?”

His partner blinked at him. “What do you mean?”

“You’re not using any of our guys to hold him,” Jason said. “And Tommy’s guys swear they left the kid alive. Which means you’ve got men holding him somewhere. If he’d confessed, you’d be throwing that in my face, and he’d be dead. He hasn’t confessed yet. Did you grab men off the street?”

“That,” Sonny said quietly, “is none of your business.” He raised his tumbler to his mouth. “You wanted the power, Jason? Fine. But don’t get too comfortable. I’ll be coming for what’s mine.” His dark eyes glinted. “All of it.”

There was nothing to accomplish here. He couldn’t beat the truth out of Sonny—he hadn’t had the psychotic break they’d feared, but Jason was more convinced than ever that Emily and Elizabeth had been correct. Sonny was bipolar and his antidepressants convinced him he was in complete control.

Even as everything disintegrated around him.

Jason closed Sonny’s penthouse door behind him and looked at Max. “You’re officially relieved of duty,” he told him. “Make sure Carly and the boys still have their guards, but you’re needed elsewhere.”

Max nodded and followed him to the elevator. There was nothing left Jason could do for his friend. His family had to come first. The organization had to come first.

Kelly’s: Courtyard

Elizabeth slid into the seat across from Nikolas. “I am so sorry for being late—it’s Nora’s day for a summer class, so I have the kids—” She paused to lift Cameron out of the stroller and set him in a chair adjacent to hers before tugging Evie into her lap. “Maybe we could get some booster—”

Nikolas raised a hand. “Give me a second.” He went to the doorway at Kelly’s, reached inside and brought out two highchairs. With his usual brand of efficiency, both children were quickly settled with their sippy cups and snacks into their own chairs.

“You,” she said, “are going to be an amazing father.”

He laughed, the sound tinged with a bit of anxiety. “Well, it’s easy with other people’s children, but…” Nikolas lifted a shoulder. “I suppose I can’t be much worse than other members of my family.”

Elizabeth arched a brow. “That’s putting it mildly.” She glanced over where a cadre of guards had taken the other outside table. Milo, Denny, and Lyle looked a bit uncomfortable in their usual suits, but she and the children went nowhere without them.

Nikolas followed her gaze. “Security has been ramped up, I see,” he said quietly. “Emily mentioned things have been tense since the fire.”

“They’re…” Elizabeth set her menu down and twisted her napkin in her hands. “God, Nikolas, I don’t even know. We’re still getting settled in with my grandmother—we’re staying with her until Jason can find something more permanent, but he didn’t want us across from Sonny and Carly anymore. And Sonny—” She looked away. “Let’s just say it’s possible we were on the mark about his medication.”

“Ah.” Nikolas exhaled slowly. “Elizabeth, I’m not being—I don’t want to be like I was before, warning you away, but I would be remiss if I didn’t at least…voice my concern.”

Elizabeth couldn’t help but smile. “I’m sure you’d be much happier if you could hogtie me and put me and the kids on a plane to the far corners of the Earth. But I appreciate you not saying it.”

“It’s human nature to want your family safe,” Nikolas said, conceding her argument. “But I know that Jason is taking security seriously. He’s sent some men to check over things at the mansion and at Wyndemere. I allowed him access to the background checks we run on servants. I just…I worry that all his precautions won’t be enough.” He touched his throat where a faint scar still lingered. He’d once nearly died for standing too close to Jason.

“I know.” Elizabeth picked up a butter knife and looked at it. “And there are no easy answers. I love him. Nikolas. And he’s not just dealing with—business concerns. Sonny is out of control. He was always a father figure to Jason, you know. His best friend, his brother. And now…he basically has to decide between keeping us safe and Sonny.” She pursed her lips. “Maybe we’d be making different choices if not for Cam and Evie, but—”

“Emily mentioned you were feeling a bit…apprehensive,” Nikolas said. “Do you really think it’s just the kids precipitating Jason’s choices at the moment? Do you think if it were just the two of you, he’d sacrifice you for Sonny?”

“No.” Elizabeth shook her head. “No. I mean, of course not. I know he loves me. I know he takes our engagement seriously. He offered an out, but—” She looked away. “To be honest, Nikolas, I’m not…” She closed her eyes, pitching her voice low so that her guards could not possibly overhear her. “I’m not always convinced. I mean, most of the time, yeah. But sometimes, I wonder…”

“And that’s human nature, too,” Nikolas told her softly. “Because you know what it’s like to have someone constantly put someone else in front of you. With Lucky’s brainwashing, that always seemed to take precedence.”

“I guess. I mean, I just—” Elizabeth shook her head. “I don’t know. I know Jason and I aren’t together because of Evie and Cam. It’s been different this time, because Jason and I are different people, and we’ve allowed for that. I’m a stronger person. But yeah, part of me does wonder why it always has to be so hard.”

“And this is where I offer some platitude about how nothing worth having comes easy,” Nikolas said, “but I get it, Elizabeth. Life is full of difficulties, challenges, and obstacles, but when there never seems to be a break, when it always seem the day or the moment can grow bleaker, you begin to wonder if it’s worth it.”

“I just…I want to be happy. I want to have my life with Jason, with the kids. With my brother and my grandmother. With you and Emily…I want us all to be happy for five minutes. All at the same exact time. Why isn’t that something I get?”

“If I could answer that question, Elizabeth, I’d have solved one of life’s enduring mysteries.” Nikolas leaned back. “Are you having second thoughts?”

Elizabeth blinked at him. “No. Of course not—”

“And you can be honest with me.” He hesitated. “I have no vested interest in you pursuing a life with Jason beyond hoping for your happiness. Emily seems to think the two of you are soulmates. I don’t know. That’s something only you can answer. So when I say you can be honest with me, I mean that.” He waited. “Are you having second thoughts?” he repeated.

“Yes,” Elizabeth admitted. “And third. And fourth. I’m terrified to raise my son in a world where one man’s instability can bring it crashing down. If not Sonny, then one of Jason’s enemies. I hate it. And there are moments, when I wait for a car to be swept for bombs before I put my son into it, I wonder what the hell I’m doing here.”

“And yet…”

“And yet, I stay,” Elizabeth finished. “Because I know that Jason loves me. That he loves me for who I am in this moment, not his fantasy of me. He doesn’t want me to fix him, he doesn’t need me to keep him rooted in this reality, or to save him. He loves me. And he loves my son. I’ve tried being without him. I always drift back. Because I love him. When I’m thinking about this insanity with Sonny, I’m not thinking about the dangers first, I’m thinking of that dream wedding where my grandmother walks me down the aisle, and Emily is my maid of honor—and Jason has Sonny standing next to him, and I know it will never happen. My grandmother is going to die, and Sonny is never going to be that man for either of us again. And if that realization breaks my heart, can you imagine how that destroys Jason?”

A tear slid down her cheek. “So yeah, I have my doubts sometimes. I wonder occasionally if it were just me, if Jason would put me aside to focus on Sonny, and if I could honestly blame him for that with all I know now. I worry that Cameron and Evie will grow up to resent my choices.  But I can put those worries away. I love Jason, and he loves me. We love our children. Things are going to be difficult in the next few months—Sonny is going to crash and burn, my grandmother may not be with me much longer, but Nikolas?” She paused. “I can get through it. Because when I go home at the end of the day, Jason’s there. He’ll put his arms around me, and for a moment, it all goes away.”

Nikolas nodded. “Okay then.” He reached for the menu. “By the way, if Emily suggests using any form of the name Nikolas in our child’s middle name, you are to discourage it immediately. That’s not a request, it’s a command.”

And just like that, he turned the conversation to other topics.

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

 Emily flexed her fingers and scowled down at the stack of forms she still had to get through. “Do you think insurance forms are proof there’s no God?” she asked the blonde standing to her side.

Nadine Crowell blinked at her. “What? Oh. Yeah. Sure.”

Emily frowned. While she wasn’t close to the blonde perky nurse, she knew her relatively well through working together at the hospital and Leyla Mir’s relationship with Lucky—Leyla being Nadine’s best friend.

And lately, the usually bubbly woman had been withdrawn. Even distracted.  Epiphany Johnson, the floor nurse, had been on her case for more than a week.

“You okay?” Emily asked. “You don’t seem like yourself.”

“Just…” Nadine jerked her shoulder. “Just tired. You know how these shifts can be.” She picked up a stack of files. “I’m gonna go work on these in the break room.”

She stepped away—Emily considered following her, but she really didn’t know the other woman that well. Maybe she could talk to Leyla.

Before Emily could decide whether to add Nadine Crowell to her roster of wounded hearts—as Nikolas liked to call them—Steven stepped off the elevator, looking every inch as exhausted as the woman who’d stepped away.

“Steven.” She set the pen down and rounded the counter. “Hey.”

“Hey, Em.” He pressed the heel of his hand in his eyes. “You talked to Bits today?”

“No, not yet—Nikolas is supposed to have lunch with her…” Emily took his arm and steered him toward the waiting room sofa. “Sit before you collapse. What’s up? I thought you were supposed to get more sleep with Liz and Jason moving in with Audrey.”

“Yeah, well they just spent their first night last night, so I guess I have some to catch up on.” He hesitated. “Em, Gram just had a checkup.”

“It’s only been a week since—” Emily pressed her lips together. “It didn’t go well, I suppose.”

“No, no, it did not.” Steve dipped his head. “I have to call my sister. Both of them. My parents. My uncle. I guess I should talk to TJ, though he’s never been close to Gram, thanks to his mother, but they should be on alert—”

“Steven—”

“Surgery,” Steven said evenly, though his expression was devastated. “Surgery is no longer an option. Gram has—she’s declined rapidly in the last week and a half. Monica said it happens sometimes—the medication can control things for a while, but once it stops, it just…” He dismissively waved his hand. “It just stops.”

“Oh, God—”

“Monica doesn’t think Gram would have made it through a surgery anyway, based on these results. She’s—” He closed his eyes. “It’s a matter of days now, Em. Maybe another two weeks if we’re lucky. She’s fading fast.”

“It—she was fine just two weeks ago,” Emily managed. “She was so happy at the party—”

“We all were.” He looked to Emily. “How did you do it last year?”

She blinked at him. “Do what?”

“When you lost your grandmother. She was like mine, right? Heart of the family. Center of it.” He expelled a harsh breath. “I don’t know what to do. I have to tell all these people Gram might go at any point, and I can’t—I can’t even process it myself.”

“I’m so sorry, Steven,” she murmured. She pressed her forehead to his shoulder. “My grandmother had been declining for years—we could all see it. But she had such a vibrant spirit, I suppose we thought she’d outlast us all. Then one morning, she was simply gone. She went in her sleep, how we all might hope she’d go.” Emily bit her lip. “Is Audrey in any pain?”

“Some shortness of breath, but not really—Monica has given her some meds to keep her comfortable—” He dipped his head again. “I should call Bits.” He looked to Emily. “Thanks. I appreciate you sitting with me.”

“Of course.” She squeezed his hand. “And tell me if there’s anything I can do. Nikolas and I are here for you.”

“She was happy at that party,” Steven said after a moment. “I know your brother hated it—it’s not his thing, but she told me he wanted to make Elizabeth happy. That he’d done it because he knew how much Gram meant to her. And she had a blast planning it, you know. She was so happy this last year with my sister and me in Port Charles, with her great-grandson. If she has—” He paused. “If this is it for her, then I’m glad she’s going out on a high.”

Warehouse: Jason’s Office

Max wrinkled his nose at the distant sounds of construction as crews began to repair the damaged portions of the building. “Is this place safe?”

“The structure is sound enough,” Jason said. “I’m not thrilled either, but after this morning, I can’t go back to the penthouse and Mrs. Hardy’s home is out of the question. I don’t want anyone to know about the new house yet.” He looked to Tommy. “What do you have?”

Tommy shifted. “Stefano has always been the liaison between us and the Zaccharas—you know that. He contacted me last night. He wanted a meeting with Sonny.”

Jason exhaled slowly. “And you’re just telling me this now?” He glanced pointedly at the clock on the wall which indicated it was two in the afternoon. “Where the hell have you been?”

“Figuring out what to tell Stefano so it’s clear that you’re in charge without anyone thinking it’s a power play,” the other man retorted. “Or do you want Zacchara to smell blood in the water?”

“Tommy,” Bernie murmured. “We could do without the attitude. You should have called Jason immediately, and you know it. Where do we stand?”

“Stefano knows we’re having issues,” Tommy admitted. “He wanted to give us a heads up. Word is out that things are fluid here. Sonny is still nominally in charge, but you’re doing the work. Zacchara was testing the waters by asking to see Sonny.”

“It wasn’t about Junior?” Jason asked, not sure if this was a good thing or not. He wanted Anthony in the dark about his son as long as possible, but if he was interested in the weaknesses—

“Not for the most part. Stefano asked if we’d seen Junior around lately. He’s been lax on his weekly call to his father, but Anthony figures he’s holed up in PC with the girlfriend. Johnny has maybe two more weeks to check in before Anthony gets worried. He’s annoyed, but it’s not the first time the son has deliberately stayed out of touch.”

“Thank God they’re a fucked up family,” Max said. “We got time to track Junior down—”

“The longer Sonny has him somewhere, the less likely it is we get him back alive,” Jason interrupted. “Max, tailing Sonny isn’t doing us any good. “ He looked to the men gathered in the office. “He’s no longer in charge.”

Johnny nodded. “About damn time—”

Bernie scowled at him. “O’Brien—”

“I’m just saying—”

“Sonny seems to think we’re merely risking a turf war with Zacchara if the son doesn’t come home.” At the annoyed and confused expressions reflecting back, he nodded. “I know. It’s why I can’t risk even the illusion of leaving him in charge. I don’t want any of the men thinking they report to him. Johnny, call Francis on the island. Make sure he gets the change out to his guys there. Tommy, Max, Bernie, anyone balks, do what’s necessary to get them to go along.”

“I doubt we’ll have more than a ruffle of feathers,” Tommy said. “Most of the men have never met him anyway.” He lifted his chin. “What are we going to do about the rest of it?”

“Tommy, I need to keep lines of communication with the Zaccharas open, so keep Stefano in the loop. We can honestly say we haven’t seen him around, but we’ll keep our eyes open. I also need you to concentrate on the bookies and the waterfront. Keep your territory running like usual. The cops are going to be digging into things, but I think the fire report calmed them down.” Jason looked to Johnny and Max. “I want you guys to tear this city, this county, even the state apart. I want Johnny Zacchara back, and I want him alive. And I need to talk to him before we send him home to Anthony.”

“What about whoever is holding him?” Johnny asked. “What muscle is Sonny using?”

“That’s what I want to know. If it’s guys off the street, that’s problematic, but it might be more likely Sonny has called in a favor from another organization. Tagliatti is still annoyed we didn’t skin Faith Roscoe, so he’s out. Vega has never particularly liked Sonny. He’s Italian, Sonny’s Cuban. It’s stupid, but it’s a point of honor for him.”

“Hell.” Max scowled. “That leaves Hector Ruiz. I’ll have Francis call Ramon. He might be able to give us some ideas.”

With their instructions given, the room cleared, leaving only Bernie and Jason. “Bernie—”

“The security upgrades will be done by the end of next week,” his business manager told him. “I tried to hurry it up, but I don’t want to compromise quality—”

“We’re okay at the Hardy house for a while.” Jason hesitated, thinking of how pale and wan Elizabeth’s grandmother had been that morning. “And I don’t…I know how much longer Mrs. Hardy will be with us. I don’t think Elizabeth will go to the new house until…” He hesitated. “Until things are resolved.”

The older man’s face softened. “Please extend my deepest condolences. The security at the house is decent enough. If we can keep the status quo, it should be okay.” He waited a moment. “Jason, I know these are tough times, but the men who work for you are loyal. They’ll do what they can to keep things from getting worse.”

“Even if Sonny gets his medication changed,” Jason said slowly, “I can’t imagine letting him be in charge again.” He met Bernie’s eyes. “Because he was doing well, and then everything just exploded in our faces. I can’t take the chance again. Not if I want to keep everyone safe.”

“I know.” Bernie sighed, gathering his files. “I guess we all knew we’d be looking to you someday, Jason, but I don’t suppose we thought it’d be like this.” He drew his shoulders back. “But we’ll get through it. We always do.”

And Jason knew he was right—somehow, they would come out on the other end of this. But at what cost?

Hardy Home: Elizabeth’s Bedroom

 

After seeing that Nora had settled Cam and Evie in their temporary bedroom at the Hardy house and making sure their nanny was okay with the move, Jason went next door to Elizabeth’s bedroom.

She sat at a window next to the bed, perched on the windowsill, looking out over Maple Avenue. Across the street, a dark SUV sat with a set of guards. With a guard on the front door and another on the back door, as well as a brand-new security system, he wondered if she was regretting the move to her grandmother’s home.

“Hey.” He closed the door. “You okay?”

“Fine,” she murmured. She looked at him. “Gram looked tired today, didn’t she?”

Jason sat in one of the chairs and unlaced his boots, not sure how to answer that question. He’d been present before dinner, while Audrey had been resting, when Steven had told Elizabeth the devastating news.

He wondered now if Audrey had just held herself together through sheer force of will through the engagement party. She was, as Steven had said, fading fast.

“She did,” Jason said finally. “I’m sorry about the guards—”

“It’s not—” Elizabeth turned, her back now to the window, her bare toes sinking into the carpet beneath the sill. “I’m fine with the guards. With the security system.  Gram didn’t care about any of that. And what’s the point?” She closed her eyes. “It’s not like things would be different if we’d stayed at the penthouse. She’d still be…”

He rose to his feet and crossed to her, pulling her up against him. “I don’t know what to say to you,” Jason admitted finally. “I can’t make any of this go away.”

“I know.” She pressed her forehead against his chest. “There’s nothing that can be said. Steven called my parents. They’re going to try to get away, but they’re in Botswana, and Sarah just came out over the weekend. She can’t get the time from her program again. My uncle might be able to come in for a day, and TJ—my cousin—he’s in medical school in Washington. No one seems to care.” She drew away from him, scrubbing her hands over her face.

“But you know who called me today?” She turned to him. “Your grandfather. He called while you were on the phone. He told me the Quartermaines are devastated for all of us, and if there’s anything he can do, just say the word.” A tear slid down her cheek. “And he’s not saying that because of you. I know you don’t care for him, but he—” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “He sounded so upset on the phone. He told me Monica has been beside herself because she couldn’t do more, and I just…” She pressed a hand to her mouth. “And I was so relieved because it meant Steven and I aren’t alone. We aren’t the only ones to grieve.”

He didn’t know what to say to any of this. His grandmother had been there one day, then gone the next. How did one face this gradual fading away? This long goodbye?  And what could he say about Elizabeth’s family except that they had always seemed selfish and useless to him.

“I’m sorry,” Elizabeth said, her eyes red. “I shouldn’t have—I know you don’t consider Edward your grandfather—”

He held up a hand to ward off her apologies. “It’s not—I can’t say that anymore. Lila was my grandmother, so…” Jason looked away, remembering Emily’s birthday party, and Edward’s delight in Cameron, in talking with Elizabeth. The way the old man had looked at the party, holding out Lila’s wedding ring.

“As much as I’ve tried to deny it, he is my grandfather,” Jason said. “And Alan and Monica are my parents. I know they care about me.” And watching Elizabeth struggle with her own biological ties, how could he continue to deny his own when they tried so hard? “And they’ll be your family, too. I mean, you’ll probably regret that one day—”

She laughed then, pressing her hands to her mouth. “Oh, there’s no doubt about that. I’ve been to some of their parties.” But her humor passed swiftly, and she sank on the bed. “I’m just tired, Jason.”

He sat beside her, feeling her exhaustion. He wanted to look ahead, to picture a moment when he wouldn’t be thinking about all the ways his life could blow up, but he didn’t have the imagination for something like that.  He’d never been good at thinking about the future.

“I know.” Jason took her hand in his, rubbing his finger across her engagement ring. “I wish I could make all this go away for you,” he told her.

“I know.”  She leaned against him, her head tucked under his chin as he slid his arm around her shoulders. “I wish I could make it go away for you, too.  But we can’t. This is the hand we’ve been dealt, and we have to handle that.” Elizabeth turned her hand so that she could lace her fingers through his. “But I know I have you at the end of the day, and it makes it easier.”

He tightened his grip around her shoulders. “I feel the same way,” Jason told her, feeling a bit clumsy about it, because he would never be able to articulate what it meant for him to have a day like the one he’d had and know he could come home to Elizabeth, put his arms around her, and the world could disappear for just a few moments.

It wasn’t much, but it was enough for now.

August 11, 2015

Timeline

This is a sort of episode tag to Friday, 7 August 2015’s episode in which Elizabeth confronted Nikolas about his possible participation in Hayden’s shooting.

Inspiration

I actually wrote this before I watched the episode, so the conversation between Elizabeth and Nikolas is different in my version and I didn’t feel like rewriting it. I’m not planning to follow this up with anything, though we all know I’ll end up rewriting the Jake is Jason reveal because show is going to disappoint me, so don’t be surprised if this shows up some other time.

It’s also in the style of my Lucky and Lizzie series, with just dialogue. I wrote the dialogue first intending to come back and flesh it out, but I don’t know that it’s really necessary. The first speaker is Jake/Jason, the second one is Elizabeth, and it should be relatively simple to follow. Let me know if it’s difficult and I’ll try to fix it.


Banner Here

I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don’t know what you’re expecting of me


“Hey. I thought you had work today. Where are the boys? Are they still at camp?”

“What time is it?”

“It’s almost three. Are you okay?”

“Um. No. No, I’m not.”

“What’s up?”

“I should—I have to pick up the boys—”

“Hey. Call Patrick. He can do it. You’re pale. Are you sick? What’s wrong? Did you call out of work?”

“No, I mean. Yeah, I called out, but I needed—I needed to think. I have to go.”

“I’ll call Patrick myself. You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s bothering you. You had dinner with Nikolas last night. Did you have a fight?”

“No. I wish it were that simple. I don’t know what to do anymore. I wish I could go back to just lying to myself. I could pretend I was just—we were happy, right? You and me. Patrick and Sam. I have my son home. We were happy?”

“We’re all happy. Elizabeth, what happened? Did Nikolas say something?”

“I can’t. I can’t. Once I start telling you, I won’t be able to stop. You’ll know everything.”

“And what’s wrong with that? You sound scared. What the hell happened?”

“I—I know the lengths Nikolas will go to keep his control over ELQ. I don’t know why it matters so much. But I know now and what if … what if he hurts you?”

“He’s not going to hurt me, Elizabeth. Hey. Do you want to call Michael? We can call Lulu’s husband. Dante, right? If you know something Nikolas has done—”

“I didn’t know—but it was stupid to think he would just let her walk away. When he’d already lied to so many people. I was stupid to think he was lying for me now, not for himself. Nikolas never does anything without a reason.”

“Who didn’t walk away…Elizabeth, are you talking about Hayden? Did … did Nikolas know what—”

“Don’t ask me that. Please, Jake. Don’t ask me that. Because I can’t lie to you, and I don’t want to tell you the truth.”

“You know, don’t you? What Hayden was going to tell me. Nikolas had her shot first.”

“I—Yes. Yes. He did. She was blackmailing him, and he told her it didn’t matter. He let her walk out, and then she was shot. I—I really believed it was mob related, I did. But I was stupid.”

“How long—I don’t—What was Hayden trying to tell me? What doesn’t Nikolas want me to know—”

“Jake—”

“If it’s about ELQ, whoever I used to be must be connected to that. I must be able to take control back. But that doesn’t make sense, Elizabeth. The shares were left to the Quartermaine family. Nikolas controls most of that – ”

“He controls a bloc that … isn’t his to control. It belongs to someone who is supposed to be dead.”

“And that’s mine? I—am I some sort of long-lost Quartermaine? I read that Edward had some illegitimate children.”

“Oh. God. Oh, God. God. Jake. You’re not just … you’re not just some long-lost Quartermaine no one knows about. You’re…You’re Jason.”

“That’s … That’s not possible.”

“But you are. And I’ve known for months.”

“How did you find out?”

“I was coming to find you. I thought … I thought this would be our chance. You weren’t married after all.”

“Since the Nurse’s Ball?”

“Nikolas stopped me from coming to you. He said it was because he didn’t me to get hurt. Because you did have a wife. And a son.”

“No. No. I don’t know what’s going on here. But I am not Jason Morgan—”

“You are. And I lied to you. And then Hayden overheard the truth, and Nikolas shot her to keep her quiet.”

“What did he say to you to make you stay quiet? Why would he even tell you?”

“At the time, I honestly thought he didn’t want me to get hurt. He thought I would—I would keep my distance. Or something. And when he told me about ELQ, I thought what a terrible risk he’d taken—I could have ruined all his plans by telling you the truth. But he knew me better than I know myself.”

“Because you lied.”

“And he must have known how tempted I would be. He knows how I lie. I lie to other people, to myself. I lie like some people breathe.”

“That’s not—that’s not true, Elizabeth. I don’t know what’s going on here. I don’t understand what’s happening, but that’s not true—”

“I lie to myself most of all. I do. It’s how I get up in the morning. When I thought my son was gone, I told myself I was okay. I was past it. But I was dead inside, and I know that now, because he’s home. And I woke up.”

“Elizabeth–

“I’ve tried so hard to stop lying to myself, but I don’t know how. I do it without thinking. I was going to tell the truth. That night. I got on stage and I was ready to do it. Until I looked at Patrick and Sam, and I thought … he’ll be devastated. And I would be unhappy. And I’m so tired of that. I’ve been swimming in misery for years.”

“You lied to me, Elizabeth. About who I am. Am I supposed to feel sorry for you right now?”

“No. And you shouldn’t. I’m just…I’m trying to explain how I could tell you I love you and lie to you about something so important. And it’s because I don’t know how to do anything else.”

“What, you’re some kind of pathological liar? Come on—”

“When I was pregnant with Jake, Jason thought—You thought he was Lucky’s son. And you told me it was for the best. That it was better that way. And instead of being honest, I thought…well, if that’s how he feels, if my son would just be a burden to him, then I won’t tell the truth. He doesn’t want him—”

“I don’t know anything about that day, Elizabeth. You tell me I’m Jason Morgan, but I don’t know him. And I’m sorry he hurt you. Was this some kind of revenge?”

“No! But I’m trying—It doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t. You know now. And I know Nikolas is willing to kill to keep his control at ELQ. That puts everyone who goes against him in danger. Okay? That’s important here.”

“We’re not done yet, Elizabeth. If I’m Jason, that makes Danny and Jake my sons. What could you have possibly told yourself to keep me away from them?”

“Nothing rational. Nothing that makes sense when you say it out loud. You were here, in my life. And you were part of Jake’s life. And Danny—he was happy.  Or maybe it was about revenge. Maybe I didn’t think Sam deserved to have you in Danny’s life.”

“What the hell—”

“I raised Jake alone. You knew he was yours and walked away.”

“That wasn’t me—”

“But you didn’t even know about Danny being yours and were willing to raise him. So maybe, maybe I was lying to myself when I thought he was happy and would be okay. Maybe I didn’t really give a damn about him.”

“I don’t…I don’t even know who you are right now.”

“It’s not like Sam ever gave a damn about me or my boys. She didn’t when she watched an unstable mother kidnap Jake three weeks after he was born, and then kept quiet about it for another two weeks. And then she hired men with guns to scare Cameron and me.”

“Elizabeth—”

“And when none of that worked, she went after Lucky and destroyed my marriage. It was already on life support, but she didn’t care. She wasn’t even with you when Jake was conceived, but she tried to destroy me as payback.”

“But this isn’t about Sam. It’s about me.”

“I know. And I’m not proud of what I did, Jake. The longer I kept quiet, the worse it was. The harder it became. When my—our son—came home, I wanted to tell you. I thought about it.”

“But said nothing.”

“Because I was terrified. You’d learn who you were, that I had lied. And you would walk away. And what would I do then? Explain to Jake another father disappeared?”

“Elizabeth—”

“As long as you didn’t have your memories, I could rationalize it. You didn’t remember that life, so what was I really taking from you?”

“It’s not your choice to make.”

“I know that. And what I did was no different than what Ric did. I saw what I wanted, and I took it. I knew it was going to be over the second you learned the truth, whether you got your memories back and went back to Sam or you found out I lied. I knew we were on borrowed time because I was never going to be able lie forever.”

“Elizabeth—”

“I wanted to have you. To be happy just for a little while. It’s all I ever get.  I hate myself more than you could ever hate me. I used you. I used what we felt for each other before I ever knew the truth, and I’m sorry for that. I am.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with this information. Nikolas Cassadine is willing to kill to keep this secret. Is that what he told you last night?”

“He told me that if I told anyone about his involvement with Hayden’s shooting, it would be my word against his, and I’m the one with something to lose.”

“That’s a threat. He threatened you.”

“I don’t see it that way.”

“Can you tell me honestly that he wouldn’t come after you if you were responsible for him losing ELQ?”

“Not me. Not personally. He wouldn’t do that to the boys. But he could go after you. I have to believe the only reason he’s left you alive is because he doesn’t think you’ll get your memories back.”

“Well he’s not wrong about that. I thought I didn’t remember because I wasn’t around anything familiar. And it turns out I’ve been surrounded by my old life. By the same people. And nothing more than flashes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you?”

Yes. If you’d gotten your memories back, I would have dealt with it, Jake. I just didn’t want to be the one–I didn’t want to blow up my own world.”

“Why today? What made you change your mind?”

“I don’t know if Nikolas will…I can’t…I can’t seem to convince myself he’ll leave you alone. If he decides he’s not even willing to take the minimal risk of you eventually learning the truth—”

“So he threatened me.”

“Not in so many words, but he made it clear that whatever he’s using ELQ for, it’s important enough to kill for. He knew Hayden. He’d slept with her. And he tried to kill her.”

“She’s awake now. She says she doesn’t know anything.”

“He went to see her. She’ll stay quiet for fear of her life, but I’m not sure Nikolas believes her. I think he’ll go after her again, and you know, it’s one thing to lie to you. But if I say nothing, if I sit back and let Nikolas go on like this…I’ll be a murderer.”

“Hey. No.”

“And you know, it’s comforting to know that there are some lines I’m not willing to cross. I sacrificed my dignity. My self-esteem. Every shred of integrity I ever owned. But not my soul. He can’t have that.”

“We’re going to come back to this discussion, Elizabeth. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about this. About this lie. About the people who cared about Jason. But that’s not our first priority.”

“This is going to sound selfish, but are you … does everyone have to know what a horrible person I am?”

“You mean am I going to tell Sam and Carly that you knew who I was and lied about it?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know that it’s anyone’s business how I found out the truth. You lied to me. You didn’t owe anyone else the truth but me.”

“How will you explain knowing the truth?”

“I’ll say I searched Nikolas’s study and figured it out. Let me worry about that, Elizabeth. You’re the one whose oldest friend is killing people to protect this secret.”

“No one’s dead yet.”

“Not for lack of trying, and I don’t intend for either of us to be first.”

August 8, 2015

This entry is part 18 of 18 in the All We Are

When you love someone
Your heartbeat beats so loud
When you love someone
Your feet can’t feel the ground

Love Someone, Jason  Mraz


Wednesday, May 8, 2007

General Hospital: Elizabeth’s Room

“He’s perfect,” Elizabeth murmured as she leaned down to kiss her newborn son’s head again. “Isn’t he the most beautiful baby you’ve ever seen?” She looked at Jason, her eyes dazzled.

He looked a bit like Edward—wrinkly and angry, his red face screwed up in a wail as their son seemed to protest the whole concept of childbirth.  Jason didn’t think he could love anyone more.

Except Elizabeth, who looked exhausted from hours of labor, her eyes red, her skin still shining from the sweat and exertion. Somehow, she still looked as beautiful as she had the day he married her. Maybe even more.

“Is Carly on her way with Cameron?” Elizabeth asked, drawing his attention back to the present. “I want him to meet his new brother.”

Jason brushed a kiss on his son’s bald head. “She was picking the boys up from school and bringing them right over.” He perched on the edge of the bed. “I can’t believe he’s finally here.”

“I can’t believe how far we’ve come,” she murmured. She adjusted the baby slightly. “A year ago, we were at the PCPD, handcuffed together and waiting for our lawyers. And now, today…” She loosened one of her hands and reached for him. He rubbed his hands over her rings, a familiar habit he’d picked up in the last six months.

“Today, we have our son.” Jason leaned forward and kissed her. “Do you want to finish filling out the paperwork?”

“What’s left?” Elizabeth asked as he drew back and reached for the clipboard. “Do I have to sign?”

“You do,” Jason confirmed, picking up the pen. “Just his name and ours.”

She frowned. “But we decided on his name months ago. Did you change your mind?”

“No.” Jason scrawled in his signature and handed her the pen. She awkwardly added hers. “I just wanted to make sure you didn’t change your mind. It took us three months to decide—”

“Just because I changed my mind six times before we settled doesn’t mean I’m fickle. It’s his name.” Elizabeth sniffed and looked at their son. “Daddy thinks I’m flighty. I just wanted to make sure we didn’t saddle you with a name you’ll hate for the rest of your life.”

“I think we’re safe,” Jason said dryly as he wrote in their choice. Jacob Martin Morgan. “There, done.”

“It’s a good name,” Elizabeth said. “Jake. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before or that we went through so many choices. Kevin, Nathan. David. I don’t like any of those names now.”

She’d loved them each for nearly a week, but once she’d settled on Jake in March, she seemed to feel good about it. Jason didn’t really care one way or another. It was just a name. People didn’t rise or fall based on their names.

She looked at him, her eyes sparkling. “Jason, how long do you want wait before we try for a girl?”

He blinked, then laughed because of course she was kidding. They’d just gotten through this pregnancy. They still had a newborn to contend with. She couldn’t possibly be planning more children already.

But then Elizabeth smiled at him, and Jason began to think a year wouldn’t be too long. Cameron wanted a little sister, after all.

“I love you,” he told her, kissing her again. “Let’s make sure Cameron likes this one before we bring home another baby.”

“I love you, too.” She sighed happily, looking back at their son. She looked back at him. “Do you think life could get better than this?”

“I don’t see how,” Jason replied, smoothing her hair back. “But I guess we could try.”

Elizabeth laughed at him. “Yeah, I guess we can try. Though, what’s better than perfect?”

THE END


So that’s it, folks. I really love this story and I’ll tell you why. It’s the first idea I had returning to writing in Winter 2014 that wasn’t a rewrite or revisioning of a story I was already working on before 2008.

I also tried to do a few things with this — I tried to make Scott Baldwin a sympathetic character. I have my own fondness for him as a character, as someone I grew up with, as a legacy character who never gets the respect he deserves. He wasn’t always the jackass we see today. I hope you guys, by the end, could sympathize with Scott’s position.

I have some bonus material coming up — I had a lot of different ideas for this story, some of which didn’t work once the story got under way — this story as originally 24 chapters, but there’s honestly not enough story there once you get to the heart of the matter.

I hope you guys like, and please, leave me even a brief note if you’d read this story of the last eight months. Love you guys!

<3

LissieLove

This entry is part 17 of 18 in the All We Are

Steady hands just take the wheel
Every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal
For the life I live

Stop and Stare, OneRepublic


Tuesday, December 19, 2006

PCPD: Interrogation Room

 Scott glared at Elizabeth and the recorder she’d brought with her after a brief pit stop. “I’m not taking your confession.”

Elizabeth turned her eyes to Mac, who looked a bit stunned at it all. “Then I’ll give it to Mac. And if he won’t take it, I’ll send it to the Port Charles Herald.”

“Scott…” Mac took a seat. “Maybe we should hear her out—”

“Damn it—” But Scott nodded. “Fine.”

“Before I start, I wanted to say something off the record.” She looked to Mac. “I could have told the world months ago that your daughter stole those pills from the hospital. You know that. I could have broadcast it—Lucky offered to.”

Mac’s face lost a bit of his pallor. “I—”

“The records would have matched—Maxie was a candy striper, and since she was having the affair, it would have made more sense for her to do it, to keep him interested.” Elizabeth tilted her head. “I never intended to do that, Mac. Because it didn’t serve any purpose except to wreck her life further, and I think Maxie’s had enough tragedy.”

Mac exhaled slowly. “Then why are you—”

“Because I intend to confess only to stealing and destroying that file,” Elizabeth said. “I won’t confess to the drug charges, but I didn’t want the reason on record.” She pressed a button. She was taking a serious gamble here, and this tape would either sink her or save her.

“When we met in your office last week, Mr. Baldwin,” Elizabeth began, “you took us on a trip down memory lane. You intended to use all of those previous incidents as proof I would do anything to protect my husband. You accused me of taking that file from the PCPD and destroying it. I did it. No one else knew, but I did it. I shredded it at the hospital, and went on with my life.”

“Why are you doing this?” Scott demanded. “Why are you letting Morgan protect his boss?”

“He doesn’t know I’m here,” Elizabeth said. “And I waive my right to an attorney. Neither one of them would approve of me being here. In fact…”

They paused because there was a commotion outside in the squad room. Mac stood and peered out the blinds. “Well, the cavalry has arrived,” he said dryly. “Jason and Sonny are here, my niece just barreled in after them with Diane. I guess we need to have Diane in here—”

“I don’t want to talk to any of them until I’ve finished my statement,” Elizabeth said. “Please go and tell them that.” She lifted her chin and looked at Scott. “There’s still a few things Mr. Baldwin and I need to sort out.”

Scott scowled, but nodded to Mac. “Let Diane know she’s waived her right to an attorney,” he muttered.

Mac pulled open the door and just managed to keep the crowd from rushing him. He pulled the door shut but not before Elizabeth met Jason’s anguished eyes.

“You’d rather send yourself to jail than an actual criminal,” Scott said, annoyed. “How does this even make sense?”

“Because you almost won, and I couldn’t let it happen.” Elizabeth smiled at him. She felt no panic, no anxiety. She knew Jason would be upset with her, but she was at peace with this decision.

She couldn’t let him pay for her mistakes.

“Jason tried to offer himself and you wouldn’t have it, so I know he was going to turn on Sonny.” She folded her hands in front of her. “And I couldn’t let that happen.”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake—”

“I’ve been in love with Jason almost since the day I first met him—the first time I really talked him and knew him to be more than my best friend’s brother and Lucky’s former employer. If you won, if he testified against Sonny, then maybe our life could go on. We’re married, and it’s a good marriage. He’s adopting my son, we’re having another child together. Maybe we could still be happy.”

“That’s all I’m trying to offer you, Elizabeth,” Scott told her. “A chance to keep your family together—”

“But one day, Jason would wake up,” she said softly, “and he would look at me, and he would resent me. And everything we built together would always be tainted.”

“Elizabeth—”

“Maybe if it had just been the drug charges, I could have lived with it,” Elizabeth said. “Those were a lie, and I think you know that. I think Ric knew it, too. But he wanted to use me. The way you’re using me. If it had been just the trumped up charges, maybe I could have seen it the way you do.” She tilted her head. “But I stole that file. And I got caught. I can’t let Jason or anyone else pay for my crime.”

“Elizabeth—”

“I’m not confessing just because it’s the right thing to do,” she continued, “I’m doing it because I can’t let my marriage be poisoned. If it’s going to fall apart, it’ll be because we don’t love each other enough to stay together. Not because he sent his best friend to prison because of me. You understand that, don’t you? I love him too much to let him do this.”

Scott scrubbed his hands over his face. “Hell. You’re really doing this. You’re really sitting in front of me with a tape recorder and confessing to charges that will put you away for at least five years, if not ten.” He looked at her. “How can you have a moral compass and still be with Jason Morgan?”

“Because, as I’m sure you’d understand, Mr. Baldwin, love doesn’t require rational thought and reasonable explanations. It just is. I love him, and I can’t let you ruin that.” She hesitated. “And I’m sorry that this ruins your plans. I know you really think you were offering me a good deal, that you were trying to do something nice. I am guilty, and you didn’t have to offer a get out of jail free card.”

She lifted her wrists towards him. “I’m ready to be booked.” And then lifted her chin in silent defiance.

Scott sighed, leaned over and pressed the stop button. “Put your hands down, Elizabeth. I’m not arresting you.” He handed her the tape.

Elizabeth accepted it, confused. “I don’t—I don’t understand.”

“I don’t want you,” he said. “But now I can’t force Jason Morgan to turn over his friend because you had to go and do the right thing.” Disgusted, he stood. “You’re right. I’m using you, and I tried to use charges I damn well knew weren’t true. I wasn’t going to charge the drugs, but I thought about it.” He turned away. “I want Sonny Corinthos behind bars, but I want to be able to look myself in the mirror while I do it.”

“Mr. Baldwin—” Elizabeth stood.

“And if I took your confession and put you in jail, if I put Jason Morgan in jail for trying to protect you—what kind of man would that make me? I’d be nothing more than what people see. I’d be a bully who cared more about results than justice.”

Her heart began to pound. “You’re going to let me go?”

“I am.” Scott turned back and met her eyes. “And you’ll give that tape to your lawyer, so if anyone ever comes after you for this, we’ll have to explain why we declined to press charges after you confessed.”

“But…” She frowned. “I don’t—”

“I don’t want you,” Scott repeated. “And there’s no justice in prosecuting you. So you can go.”

He pulled open the squad door and gestured for her to go in front of her. “Before your husband rips down the walls—”

Elizabeth blinked but went out, dismayed to see Jason and Sonny standing with Diane and Robin, all four of them looking angry, scared, and seriously annoyed.

“Scott?” Mac said, coming forward, his hand at his belt for a pair of handcuffs. “Are we taking her to Booking?”

“I demand to know what’s going on!” Diane cut in.

“Mrs. Morgan is free to go,” Scott announced. The room crashed into silence. “She’s cooperated fully with our investigation and I’m satisfied that she’s been cleared of all charges.” He cleared his throat and looked at her. “Thank you for your time, Mrs. Morgan. Have a nice holiday.”

He sent a dark look at Sonny Corinthos before ambling out of the room. Mac blinked, then hurried after Scott, ostensibly to demand answers.

“We should go,” Elizabeth said to Jason. “I’ll—I’ll explain in the car.”

No one said anything until they had made it to the parking lot, where a cluster of cars was haphazardly parked. “Elizabeth,” Sonny began, but she cut him off.

“Diane, you’ll want to keep this in my case file.” Elizabeth handed her the tape. “A bit of insurance policy if Scott ever changes his mind.”

The redhead took the tape, but pursed her lips. “I don’t know how you did it, but I’m going to demand answers at some point.” She slid into her car. “And I may seriously consider resigning after this debacle. I don’t know why I’m being paid if you’re not going to actually heed my advice.”

“We’ll catch up later,” Robin said. She hugged Elizabeth, then looked to Jason. “You just remember you tried to do the same thing before you get all huffy with her.”

“Goodbye, Robin,” Jason said blandly. “Cody—” He looked her guard. “I’m sure Elizabeth left you no choice, but if you could follow us back to the penthouse?”

“Sure thing.”

“Jason—” Sonny began.

“I’ll talk to you later,” Jason told him. He looked at her. “Elizabeth and I have a few things to talk about.” His tone was almost empty, but a muscle was twitching in his cheek. She was in trouble.

She sniffed as she climbed into the SUV. He had some nerve being angry with her, when Robin was right—he’d tried the exact same thing only her plan had worked. And she’d tell him as much as soon as they got home.

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

“Are you going to say anything?” Elizabeth asked. She drew off her coat and draped it over the back of the armchair. “Jason?”

He stood in front of the fireplace, staring straight ahead. He hadn’t spoken to her in the car, in the parking garage, or the elevator ride. When he still said nothing, Elizabeth started towards him. “Jason,” she said again.

This time he turned, but his face—it was unreadable. “Why did Baldwin let you go?” he asked, his tone even, even subdued. “Did you confess?”

“Yes.” Elizabeth twisted her fingers in front of her. “Not to the drugs—I told Mac before I started taping that I suspected Maxie had been involved but I didn’t want to put it on the record. But I told Scott I stole the file and that I destroyed it.” She hesitated. “I thought he might—he might turn away my confession, like he did to you. I thought he wanted Sonny more than he wanted me.”

Jason’s face was still set in that frustratingly blank expression. “And if he hadn’t?”

“Then I guess I would be cooling my heels in a jail cell.” Elizabeth sighed. “I know you’re angry with me—”

“I don’t—” He shook his head. “Angry isn’t the word.” He moved past her, toward the pool table. “Do you have any idea what you risked? You would have gone to jail, Elizabeth. For five, maybe more, years.”

“I know.” She followed him. “What about what you risked?” she challenged. “If Scott had taken you up on your confession, how long did you think he’d put you away for?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Jason shook his head swiftly. “It’s not the same.”

“He might have put you away for decades! Decades,” she repeated, her heart pounding. “The boys would have grown up without you. Is that what you were prepared for? To only see them once a month when I brought them to see you?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Jason said again. “You would have been with them—”

“Why isn’t what I did the same?” she cut in. “I wanted to protect you—”

“Because I’m the criminal!” he exploded finally, flattening his hand against his chest. “Not you! I’m the one who goes to jail! If you think I would have let Baldwin put you in a cell—”

“I committed a crime, too,” Elizabeth said softly. “Only I didn’t get away with mine.” She reached out to touch his arm but he slid away from her. “Jason, I couldn’t let you testify against Sonny.”

“I don’t—” Jason dipped his head. “I don’t know if I would have.”

Don’t lie to me.” When he shook his head, she scowled. “You lied to me yesterday. You told me Diane felt optimistic, that she could make this go away, but that’s only because you were going to do it instead. Jesus, Jason, what did you think I would do when I found out?”

“I—” Jason looked away. “I don’t know. I hadn’t—I didn’t think that far ahead.”

“I would have been devastated.” She fisted her hands at her side. “I would have blamed myself. I would have hated myself for being the reason the boys didn’t have you, for being the reason everything we’ve built fell apart—”

“I would have been in jail for something I did,” he insisted. “Elizabeth, you’re only at risk because of me. Because of what I do—”

“What kind of life would we have if you were in jail for then next twenty-five years?” she cut in. “How could you think we’d survive—” Her throat closed, and she couldn’t continue. “Would you have divorced me?”

“I didn’t think that far ahead—” His eyes darted away. “Elizabeth—”

She closed her eyes, the tears building up behind her eyes. “Oh, God. You would have. You would have seen it as the right thing to do. You would have gone to jail for the rest of your natural life and divorced me.”

“He didn’t want my confession any more than he wanted yours, so why does it matter?” Jason asked. “Elizabeth, it’s not that I’m not glad you found a way out of this—”

“It matters,” she bit out. “Because I want to know what our future means to you, and if it means so little that you would have tossed it away—rather than me spending time in jail for a few years and moving past it—you wanted the option where you went away for decades and would have let me go.”

“No, that’s not—” He reached for her, but now she was the one to step back. “That’s not what I would—I wouldn’t want you to wait. It wouldn’t have been fair—”

“The legal troubles are over now.” She started to tug the rings from her finger, but her hands were slightly swollen from her pregnancy. “There’s no reason for any of this—do you think Scott Baldwin would even care if we got divorced—”

“Wait a second—” Jason’s hands closed over hers, preventing her from removing the rings. “I don’t want a divorce—Damn it, Elizabeth. I’m the one that’s supposed to be angry here—”

“Why?” Elizabeth retorted, yanking her hands back. “Because I stopped it myself? Because I fixed my own problems?” Her heart was pounding so fast, so loudly, she could almost hear it in her ears. “Do you think I was going to let Scott Baldwin use me to hurt you? To hurt your best friend? Why are you the only one who gets to risk their freedom? You would have walked away from me, from Cameron, from our child, so that you could be the one to save the day—”

“It wasn’t about saving the day!” He spread his hands at his sides, his face flushed with anger. “You destroyed that file for me! They came after you because of me—” He cut himself off and closed his eyes. “Elizabeth,” he said after a long moment. He opened his eyes and looked at her, his expression not quite so irritated. “The thought of being away from you and the boys—I hated it. All I want to do is come home to you. To be with Cameron, to see my son be born. But more than that, I wanted to make sure you could be with them.” He swallowed. “I love you. And I’m sorry, but I’m never going to want you hurt.”

Her vision dimmed for just a moment, and Elizabeth found it difficult to speak. “Could—” She cleared her throat. “Could you repeat that?”

His eyes were soft as his hand came up to tuck her hair behind her ears. “I love you. I’m sorry for not trusting you, for going to see Baldwin without telling you. I had to try.”

“I couldn’t let you turn against Sonny,” she whispered, as a tear slid down her cheek. “Not for something I did. It would have poisoned us. You would have looked at me one day, and saw everything you sacrificed for me, and you would have resented me—” She raised her hand, pressed her fingers to his lips when he opened his mouth. “Don’t say you wouldn’t have. I couldn’t risk it. I love you, too, and I just—I couldn’t bear losing you.”

Some of the tension bled from his shoulders as he exhaled slowly. He took her hand in his, kissed her fingers before drawing her against him. “This is our life,” Jason told her, “and we’re in this together. No more divide and conquer. I love you,” he repeated. “And I love Cameron and this baby. You just—you risked it all today. I—” He shook his head. “I was terrified, standing in the squad room, afraid Baldwin would bring you out in cuffs.”

“I’m sorry.” Elizabeth could feel his breath against her temple. “But I was terrified, too. When Diane told me you’d offered yourself, when I realized you were prepared to sacrifice Sonny, I could barely breathe.”

He looked down at her hand and straightened her rings. “I don’t want a divorce,” Jason told her, raising his eyes to meet hers. “Not today, tomorrow, next year. Not ever. I want our family.”

She laughed a little as he kissed her, his taste mingling with the salt in her tears. “Well…” Elizabeth murmured when he released her. “I guess Sonny knew what he was doing when he planned our wedding. Because, other than today, and I’m sure the births of my children—that was the best day of my life.” She slid her fingers through his hair. “Do you remember Robin’s reading that day?”

“Something about finding the right wrong person?” Jason asked, with a touch of amusement in his eyes. “Yeah. Why?”

“I didn’t know what I was looking for,” she continued. “Until everything in the life I thought I wanted fell apart. And I came to you. And you opened the door to me.” She tightened her arms around his neck. “I wouldn’t change a single moment.”

“Neither would I.” He dipped his head and kissed her again. “How much time do we have before we have to pick Cameron up from Carly’s?” he murmured against her lips.

“Oh…” Elizabeth smiled and tilted her head. “I think there’s enough time for that.”

August 5, 2015

This entry is part 25 of 34 in the The Best Thing

Hey we’re just bleeding for nothing
It’s hard to breathe when you’re standing on your own
We’ll kill ourselves to find freedom
You’ll kill yourself to find anything at all

Hey Now, Augustana


Sunday, August 21, 2005

A Warehouse

Less than a week ago, Johnny Zacchara had left his girlfriend’s apartment intending to grab a quick lunch at a cafe on the waterfront and then hole up in the apartment he rented nearby and play some music, though he rarely stayed there overnight anymore.

He had pulled into his parking garage, stepped out of his Porsche, and then…

That was it. That was all he remembered.

He’d woken in a small dark room, tied to a chair, duct tape stretched across his mouth.

Fucking hell.

He hadn’t really given much thought to the fact Nadine lived in Corinthos-controlled Port Charles. Johnny had removed himself from his father’s world, living in England for a handful of years and attending Oxford University before moving to New York City. He spent most of his time in music clubs and art galleries.

Until, on a whim, he’d traveled to a blues club here—Luke’s had a great reputation. He’d seen a pretty blonde dancing on the floor with some of her friends, and that had been it.

But he’d barely thought about Sonny Corinthos. They hardly run in the same circles, and Johnny thought he had defused any issues by approaching Jason Morgan and his girlfriend at the art showing last February.

Apparently not. Sonny Corinthos had had him knocked out and tied up in this warehouse for…he thought it must be nearly a week but Johnny tended to black out between beatings. The mobster would show up to enjoy one of his men pounding on him, demand to know why Johnny was coming after him, and then leave, disgusted by Johnny’s claims of innocence. They’d moved him a few days ago, and now the voices were new with a Hispanic accent, but they still beat the shit out of him when Sonny ordered it.

He didn’t know why he wasn’t dead yet. Maybe Sonny wanted to hear him admit whatever crime he thought Johnny had committed.

That would be his death warrant, so there was no hope of admitting guilt in order to escape.

He had to hold out hope that Nadine, worried by his absence, would do something. Would call the police, maybe. And after the third beating, maybe he wouldn’t mind if Anthony Zacchara came to rescue him. He didn’t care for his father, but he also didn’t care for dying for no good fucking reason.

He had never introduced Nadine and his father, though both were aware of the other. He could see her now, pacing her apartment. Waiting for him to call. Worrying.

The door swung open and footsteps came closer though Johnny couldn’t really hear them.

“You ready to admit it, you fucker?”

Fan-fucking-tastic. Another beating. Maybe they’d kill him this time and put him out of his misery.

Hardy Home: Living Room

 Elizabeth loved her brother, she really did. But there moments when she wanted to set him on fire. And today…today was one of those moments.

“Steven,” she said again, watching him fold a blanket and set it on the back of the sofa. “I don’t know why you won’t help me convince Gram to have this surgery—”

Steven turned to face her, his eyes exhausted from spending all day working and then nights taking care of Audrey. Elizabeth did her best to be here as often as she could, but she had set things in motion with her agent for a show in October, Diane Miller was nailing down the final contract to open her own gallery in the spring, Nora was taking a summer class which necessitated Elizabeth having the kids two more days a week than normal—

And it went without saying that the situation at home had not been better. Jason was no longer meeting with men at the penthouse as often, but they were still there. Sonny had done a disappearing act—she hadn’t seen him since the engagement party.

And Johnny Zacchara remained missing.

But she had to focus on the things she could control, and damn it, she could find a way to control this. “Steven—”

“Bits, what do you want me to say?” he demanded. “Gram’s a nurse. I can’t lie to her and tell her a woman in her eighties will be perfectly fine having major open-heart surgery. She’s not an idiot—”

“She’s throwing away a chance to have another decade,” Elizabeth shot back.

“Damn it, Elizabeth—” Steven bit off his next words. “This is only the third time you’ve been here. You don’t see the way Gram—” He looked away. “I’m not sure surgery is going to be an option.”

Stung, she recoiled. “What does that mean? Of course it is—”

“It’s the middle of the day, and Gram is upstairs taking a nap.” Steven scowled. “When was the last time our indomitable grandmother took a nap in the middle of the damn day? She’s weaker than she was a week ago. This new medication isn’t working either.”

“No.” Elizabeth folded her arms and shook her head. “We’ll just—we’ll talk to Monica. We’ll find another medication. Don’t you shake your head at me, Steven Lars Webber! Maybe there’s another doctor—”

“You going to throw money at the problem, then?” Steven demanded. “That’s your way of dealing with it? She’s at home all day while I’m work, Elizabeth. Where the hell are you?”

“I—” Her throat closed. “I’m trying the best I can,” she choked out. “I have Cam and Evie—”

“And a goddamn nanny. You have money, remember?” he returned with a glare. “But you can’t be bothered—you judge Uncle Tommy and Sarah for not being here—at least they’re doing something useful. What the hell is your excuse? You live in town. You don’t work—”

“You have no right to accuse me of not being here!” she shot back. “I’m the one that never left. You’ve been here five minutes, Steven. I’ve been here eight years. And I work—”

“Or maybe you’re too wrapped up in your new fiancé,” Steven cut in, his tone so scathing she had to blink. “Taking care of his kid—”

“I don’t have to listen to this!” Elizabeth snapped, not really sure how this had become a conversation about her shortcomings. She thought she and Steven had turned a corner. They had never been close growing up—he had always been like her parents, like Sarah, trying to figure out what they would do with Lizzie.

And maybe that’s all she’d ever been to him. His little sister who was okay unless she was given responsibility. Can’t trust Lizzie. She’ll break it. She’ll forget it.

She won’t take care of it.

She’s not good enough.

She’s not like us.

She took a deep breath. Fighting wasn’t going to get them anywhere. Wasn’t going to make her grandmother change her mind. “I love her, Steven. I just want to do right by her. I don’t know why you have make it personal. I’m sorry if I don’t live up to your standards—”

“Bits, I’m sorry—” Steven rubbed a hand over his face. “I know you’ve got your own life. And Gram would hate if you let something go in order to look after her. She hates that I’m here. I’m just…I’m just—I’m at a loss. She won’t have the surgery, but the new meds—” He dipped his head. “I’m watching her fade away, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Elizabeth sighed, stepped forward, and embraced her brother. “I’m sorry, Steven. I know you hate this as much as I do. I’ll do better. I’ll stop by more—”

“No, I know things are insane for you.” Steven put his hands on her forearms. “And of course you work, I just—I meant you didn’t have a schedule. You know how proud I am of you, how much I love you. I’m just—I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Elizabeth murmured, swallowing her cutting remark. It was easy to dump on her, it always had been. But Steven looked exhausted and he had been bearing the brunt of Audrey’s care for the last week.

And if she were fading as fast as Steven suggested…the nights would not be particularly restful. “We’ll be okay, Steven. You and me. We just have stick together, okay?”

He kissed her forehead. “We will, Bits. And maybe you’re right. We’ll talk to Monica. Maybe there’s another option.”

But they both knew they were likely clinging to hope at this point.

Morgan Penthouse: Jason’s Office

 Jason scrawled his name at the bottom of the paperwork Bernie handed him and checked to make sure all the necessary pages were initialed. “How fast can we push the sale through?” he asked, handing the contract back.

“I can have it finalized by the end of the week,” Bernie promised. “And Johnny can start security the very next day. We’ll make sure the place is secure.” He glanced around the small room. “You’re making the right decision, Jason.”

He hoped so. The penthouse was no longer a tenable solution. Sonny was ducking his calls, and by the look on Max’s face, the report on his comings and goings was likely to be a disappointing one.

Johnny Zacchara was missing. Sonny was behind it, even if he would never admit it, and Jason had taken over the day to day operations. They were no longer even pretending to run things by Sonny.

Jason, even if they hadn’t said anything out loud, had taken control. And continuing to stay across the hall from his former business partner would be suicide.

So he bought a house on the outskirts of Port Charles with enough land to put up an electric fence and a gatehouse to control comings and goings—the best money security could buy—he hated the thought of it, but he wanted it in his back pocket in case it was necessary. The deed had been bought in Cam’s name, in order to keep it off Sonny’s radar, and Jason hated that as well.

There was nothing about this situation that was going well for him.

“Get it done,” Jason said finally. He looked to Max. “What’s the bad news?”

“It’s worse than you thought.” Max sighed, and nodded to Tommy, who tended to handle the gambling rings and the bookies who kept them in the green. “Not only can I still not keep my eyes on Sonny without losing him, but Tommy thinks he knows what’s been going on.”

Jason directed his eyes to the swarthy Italian transplant. “Tommy?”

“Sonny came into one of the casinos on Van Ness last Monday,” Tommy said. “And he pulled some of my guys to work on a project. I didn’t know because I’ve been out on the streets with Francis and Johnny, trying to find Junior, and we didn’t exactly broadcast our concern.”

Which solved the mystery as to how Sonny would have gotten the jump on a younger, stronger man. “And?” Jason pressed.

“And Sonny relieved them of their duties two days ago. When they popped back up, they were bragging about doing some work for him personally—not something that usually happens to the guys down there.” Tommy scowled. “And it got back to me. I called them in. They’re low on the food chain, Jase. They don’t know the score the way we do up here.”

Jason leaned back. “I’m not going to knock out a couple of schmucks who thought they were doing their job. What’d they say, Tommy?”

“They grabbed Junior out of his parking garage last Monday,” Tommy confirmed. “They took him to a warehouse near Courtland Street, where they kept him tied up. Sonny would stop by once a day, ask Junior about the fire, he’d deny it. And then the guys would beat him. “

Jason got to his feet. “They know where this place is?” he demanded. God, this could be over now. If he could get the little bastard to safety, he could concentrate on Sonny—

“I already went there,” Tommy said, his tone apologetic now. “It’s empty. He’s been moved. But my guys didn’t do it. And I did a quick round up of my crew before I came here. No one will admit to taking their place. Francis is checking with his guys, but—”

Max took over. “Johnny and I cleared our guys. Whoever Sonny’s working with now, they’re not on our grid. Francis’s people know better.”

Jason sank back into his seat. The implications of this story were…they were devastating.

Johnny Zacchara was being beaten somewhere at regular intervals, and if he admitted guilt to make it stop, Sonny would likely kill him. Either way, his life was in danger. And since he hadn’t split, it was likely his girlfriend was freaking out. If she hadn’t called Anthony Zacchara yet, it was only a matter of time.

And that wasn’t the worst of it. If Sonny had stopped using their own guys, he had gone outside the organization. Either he’d picked up guys from off the street, or he’d gone to another family.

And if he’d done that…

“Jason,” Max said, “We know now that Sonny’s done something to Junior. It’s time we stop pretending to tail him. You need to confront him, you need to get him to hand the kid over.”

“Yeah.” Jason cleared his throat. “Ah. We—” He couldn’t do that, though. He couldn’t make a move on Sonny. Sonny might not have gone over the edge into the psychotic break his sister had warned them about, but he wasn’t too far off.

And his family lived across the hall from him.

He had to get them to safety first. He took a deep breath and looked to Max. “Can you get me Cody?” he asked, referring to the guard who was on the door to the penthouse and was generally in charge of the security of Jason’s family.

Max nodded, and a few moments later, had brought the man in question to him. “Cody, ah, do you know where Nora and Elizabeth are?” Jason asked. He hadn’t had a chance to talk to either of them that morning.

“Milo took Miss Webber to see her grandmother and then she had appointment with Diane Miller downtown. Nora is with Denny and Lyle at the park with the kids.” Cody hesitated. “Did you want me to call them? Bring them back?”

“No, no…” Jason rose. “I just want to make—” He wanted to make sure the people he loved most in the world were okay. That someone was with them, protecting them. “Thanks, Cody.” He hesitated. He felt their eyes on them, these men who could be ruthless and even violent, and they knew they were pitying him.

He swallowed hard. “You can go back to the door.”

“Jason,” Johnny said. “Maybe some of Tommy’s guys don’t know the score, but that’s because they’re usually pretty far removed from this stuff. They’re too busy making money—”

“But they know it now,” Tommy interrupted, annoyed. “None of the guys are taking assignments from anyone who isn’t me.  If they get another offer from Sonny, they know to agree and then call me so we can figure out what’s going on. They know who’s in charge, Jase.”

“Right,” Johnny said, rolling his eyes at his prickly colleague. “Anyway, what I’m saying is we’ve got the best people on Elizabeth and the kids. Sonny’s not going after them.”

Maybe, maybe not.

“Just get the house settled,” Jason told Bernie and Johnny. To Max and Tommy, he said, “Max, I want your energy and any man you can spare looking for Junior. But let’s continue to keep it quiet. I don’t want it filtering back to Anthony. It hasn’t yet, but I don’t know how often the kid is supposed to check in with his father. Get some eyes on the girlfriend. Don’t—don’t go near her, but I want to know if she reaches out to Anthony. I want warning. Tommy, I need you to keep things running smoothly in your area. I don’t want the cops raiding any of the casinos or grabbing any of the bookies. We need to look like we got our shit together.”

“Ah, Jase?” Cody knocked on the open door. “Courtney Matthews is at the front desk.”

Jason exhaled slowly. The last thing he wanted was a run-in with his ex-wife, but she was probably concerned about Sonny. And maybe she’d been in contact with him. “You can bring her up. We’re done in here.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Courtney still wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing, but she couldn’t stand it anymore.

A guard let her inside the penthouse, and Courtney stepped over the threshold into her former home, blinking at the changes. The pool table remained, but a playpen, a changing table, and a scattering of toys sat in the front of the room where Jason’s desk had once set.

And Jason was standing by the sofa, an air of impatience emanating from him. “I’m sorry for just showing up like this,” she said, “but I can’t—I can’t pretend I’m not worried anymore. And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

Jason slid his hands into his jeans. “What’s going on, Courtney?” he asked. “Is this about Sonny or Carly?”

“It’s about them both,” Courtney answered. She set her bag on the back of the armchair. “Sonny came to stay with me last month, and I know he was going to see a doctor. He was doing a bit better the last few times I talked to him, but I called him last week, and—” She closed her eyes. “He was worse than I’ve seen him. He accused me of sniffing around him for money, of using him, of going behind his back to talk to you—which I hadn’t done. And I talked to Carly, who told me I should tell you and Elizabeth to give them custody of Evie if I wanted to help so much.”

Jason exhaled slowly. “Hell.” He pressed the heel of his hand to his eye and was quiet for a moment. “He’s sick, Courtney—”

“I know that,” she interrupted. “And I’m not worried about me. I’m worried about—” She bit off the words, swallowing the fear. “Jason, I’m scared for Michael and Morgan. And even for you, for Elizabeth. You didn’t hear the way Sonny talked about you. He thinks you’re out to get him. He thinks I’m helping you. I don’t know what I’d be helping you do, but he’s remembering the way we lied to him, and thinks I’ve been disloyal to him.”

“I didn’t—” He looked away. “I’m sorry, Courtney. Things—things have been difficult—and not just because of the last year or because of Evie.” Jason paused. “And I guess you know she’s Sonny’s daughter.”

“I always knew that.” Courtney dismissed that, because it wasn’t important now. The situation was so much worse than she’d ever thought it could be. She’d believed Carly was the person to worry about, but her brother’s searing anger on their phone call had terrified her. He’d never spoken to her like that, and even at the height of his anger with Jason… “That’s not important. No, it’s not about Evie anymore. I’m not sure it ever really was. Jason, we need to get the boys away from him. And from Carly, if she won’t leave him. I talked to a lawyer, but he doesn’t think there’s anything I can do since there’s nothing on record and he doesn’t appear to be a danger to them.”

“Courtney—”

“I know about the fire last week, but Jason—” She hesitated. “He told me things last month—he said he was so angry with you sometimes he fantasized about—” She closed her eyes. “He talked about hurting you. Wrapping his hands around neck—and he’s so angry at you, Jason—”

Jason swallowed, but it was the only outward reaction he showed. “Okay. That—that doesn’t surprise me—”

“He thinks you’re taking control of his life, that you’re stripping him of the things he considers his. First you took Sam, then you took Evie. And we all know the men have always trusted you more.” Courtney stepped towards him. “Jason, he sounded—he sounded like he’s gone over that proverbial edge we’ve all worried about—”

“He’s close to it,” Jason said after a moment.  “But he hasn’t gone over yet.” He didn’t elaborate on how he could come to that conclusion.

The door opened behind them, and Elizabeth stepped in, blinking at Courtney in the room. “Courtney.”

They hadn’t been face to face in nearly two years. “I just came—I wanted to talk to Jason about the boys.” She looked to Jason. “Just be on your guard okay? I’m going to talk to Bobbie about trying to convince Carly to do something.”

She pushed past Elizabeth and left. She’d done what she could to warn Jason, but her attention had to be on the things she could do to help Michael and Morgan.

They deserved so much better.

Back inside, Elizabeth bit her lip and faced Jason. “Jason, is she okay? She looked so upset.”

And because the look in Elizabeth’s eyes wasn’t annoyance or suspicion at finding him alone with his ex-wife, Jason sighed and sat on the sofa, exhausted.

Sonny had kidnapped Johnny Zacchara, had probably gone to another organization for help. Courtney thought Sonny was going to come after Jason. Elizabeth’s grandmother was probably dying.

Everything was changing, and it was happening so fast, he couldn’t get a grip on it.

“Jason.” Elizabeth set her bag on the chair and perched on the coffee table in front of him. “They’re all looking to you to make it right. To fix it. To make everyone safe, aren’t they?”

He said nothing, but looked up. “I can’t,” he admitted. “I can’t make it stop.”

Elizabeth just nodded, reaching out to rub his knee. “No, I guess you can’t,” she said finally. “So let’s concentrate on what we can do. What happened while I was gone? Can you tell me?”

And he told her, because she deserved to know. He told her that Sonny had done exactly what they all feared, but maybe it was even worse than they thought, because if another family was involved, they’d see the inherent weakness in the organization. They’d smell blood in the water.

And if they couldn’t return Johnny Zacchara to his father in relatively good shape, he’d have a war on two fronts.

And in the middle of everything—there were four children who had never asked for any of this.

He told her everything because what was the point of pretending there were things she couldn’t know, as if she were safer kept in the dark?

Her face was pale when he finally stopped talking, but she nodded. “Okay. Okay. Well, that’s—” Her laugh was thin, shaky. “Well, that’s more than I—Okay.”

Elizabeth stood and walked towards the large bay windows overlooking the bay, then turned back. “I know something that might help.”

Jason frowned at her, skeptical. “What?”

“Steven is looking after Gram at night, but she’s alone during the day. I was trying to see how I could spend more time there, and make sure someone is always there. So that’s what we’ll do. We can’t stay across the hall from Sonny. Not if he’s talking about you the way Courtney said.” She nodded, her voice stronger. “So we’ll move to my grandmother’s house temporarily. That works, doesn’t it?”

He stood. “Elizabeth—”

“You can still come here for meetings, if you need to. But I know the fact that the kids and I are here, so close to it all—it drives you insane. It can be one less thing for you to worry about, and I’ll feel better being closer to my grandmother. It might be a tight fit, but it’ll be temporary.”

He hesitated. But it just might work. At least for a bit. He could put more security at the Hardy house, had already had some upgrades put in just for Audrey’s sake. “We can do that.”

“I don’t know what I can do about the rest of it,” Elizabeth said. “It’s not my area.” She stood in front of him, and put her hands on his chest. “It seems to me you need to get Johnny Zacchara back, right? You need to find him and get him home. Worrying about Sonny and another organization isn’t going—it can’t be your priority.”

And some of the tension slid from Jason’s chest. Because she was right. He couldn’t fight a war on two fronts, so he had to make sure he didn’t have to.

It was more important to mollify Anthony Zacchara.

“Elizabeth…” He lowered his forehead and just touched it to hers. “When this is over—”

“We’re not worrying about that right now.” Her fingers twisted in his shirt. “We’re going to make sure the people we love are safe. I’ll talk to Bobbie. Like Courtney said, she’s the best conduit to Carly. Michael and Morgan are in the middle of this, too. And we have to find a way to help them. We’ll make sure the kids are safe, across town and away from Sonny. You’ll find Johnny Zacchara, and ship him home. And then you’ll put Sonny under lock and key until he agrees to see another doctor. We can do this. One step at a time.”

He sighed. “I know, but—”

“And then you can go back to not telling me a blessed thing about what happens when you walk out that door, and I can go back to worrying about whether or not I can actually run an art gallery.”

And she made it sound so simple, Jason thought they might be able to do it.

He should have known it wouldn’t be that easy.

August 3, 2015

This entry is part 16 of 18 in the All We Are

Nothin’ goes as planned
Everything will break
People say goodbye
In their own special way
All that you rely on
And all that you can fake
Will leave you in the morning
But find you in the day

In My Veins, Andrew Belle


Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Elm Street Pier

 When Jason saw Sam sitting on the bench by the waterfront, he nearly backtracked and took another route to the street. He had been successfully able to avoid his ex-girlfriend for nearly two months—since he’d sent her out of the penthouse with Carly.

Sam rose to her feet when she saw him coming. “I thought I might be able to catch you if I waited here long enough.” Her expression was pained as she continued, “I didn’t think you’d want me stopping by the penthouse.”

He didn’t respond to that—there was nothing he could say. He didn’t want her in the penthouse. “What’s up?” he asked after a moment.

“My mother knows about Ric,” Sam said flatly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jason looked away, remembering that night as Alexis had struggled to catch her breath but had been unable to hide the shock, the pain in her expression. “She said she’d handle it. I guess she has.”

Sam huffed. “You told Sonny she knew. Can you guess who he told?”

Jason winced. Carly being in possession of that knowledge was a ticking time bomb. “I’m sorry if Carly told Alexis, but that’s her problem—”

“Carly told me,” Sam cut in. She slid her hands into the pockets of her coat. “And I decided that I wasn’t going to let her have the satisfaction of holding that over me. So I told Alexis.”

“Okay.” Jason blinked. “I don’t know what you want, Sam—”

“I want to know why you sandbagged me with this. I had a right to know she already knew—” Sam stopped. “And I want to know how you can live with yourself with what you’ve done.”

“What I’ve done?” Jason repeated. “Sam, you slept with your mother’s husband. That’s not my fault. Alexis had the right to deal with it the way she needed to—”

“The way you dealt with it?” Sam demanded. “You jumped on the first excuse you could and crawled into bed with Elizabeth. What kind of person does that make you?” She smirked. “But I guess she got the last laugh. She managed to knock herself up. Maybe if I had done that, you wouldn’t have left me.”

Jason exhaled slowly and looked away. He felt guilty for the way he’d walked away from Sam, but not as much as he had once. He’d walked away for a good reason, but he’d changed his mind. Sam’s actions had prevented their reconciliation, not his.

And God help him, he was grateful. He would rather have had the horror of finding her with Ric a thousand times if it meant he’d be with Elizabeth today.

“I don’t know what you want,” Jason repeated. “I’m sorry if you’re having trouble at home, Sam, but it has nothing to do with me—”

“How could you promise to love me and then turn around and marry her?” Sam demanded as he started to walk past her. “I thought it was just to get at Ric—I thought he was up to something, but it’s not just that, is it? What the hell was I, Jason? A rebound? A stand-in? Someone to keep the bed warm until Elizabeth came back around?”

He shook his head. She would never understand. “Sam, I don’t owe you any explanations. We were broken up. I—” He hesitated. “I moved on. You should do the same.”

“I can’t believe you can stand there and act like things weren’t completely different a year ago. Six months ago.” She jabbed a finger in his direction, her eyes burning into his. “She was married to another man five minutes ago. What makes you think she’s going to stick around this time?”

“Sam—” He shook his head. “I’m going now—”

“You think your little happy life is going to last forever?” Sam called after him as he walked up the stairs. “I hope she leaves you the way you walked out on me. With no warning, no damn good reason. I hope she crushes your heart when she goes. Then maybe you’ll understand what you’ve done to me.”

He turned at the top of the stairs for one last look at a woman with whom he’d spent the better part of two years, had planned a life and family with. She was glaring at him, her breaths sending little puffs into the chilly winter air.

He didn’t have the space to feel sorry for her anymore. He was going to Baldwin’s office to confess to whatever would keep Elizabeth out of jail. There just wasn’t room for a woman who had once meant so much to him. He reached down for something, some emotion he could offer her in recompense.

And found nothing. He felt nothing for this woman, only relief he hadn’t married her after all.

“Goodbye, Sam.” He turned and walked away, not bothering to wait for her response.

Municipal Building: Scott Baldwin’s Office

Scott frowned when Jason Morgan came in his office sans representation and closed the door behind him. This…this had not been the plan.

“Morgan.” Scott rose from his desk, and gestured for the younger man to take a seat. Morgan shook his head, indicating he would stand. “Is Ms. Miller parking the car?”

“She’s not coming,” Morgan said blandly. “She refused to represent me if I came here today, so I’ll waive my right to an attorney.”

At those words, Scott sank into his chair. No one had ever heard those words from Jason Morgan, and the fact that he was saying them at all—this could not bode well for Scott’s plans.

“Ah. Okay. Have you decided what you’d like to do, then?” Scott asked. He took a deep breath. He needed to be in control. “Which charges should I file tomorrow morning?”

Morgan stared at him, his expression as blank as it had ever been. “Whatever you want to charge me with, I’ll confess to it.”

Hell. Scott stood again. “What?”

“That’s what I want you to do,” Morgan said. “I want you to pick any of the thousand things the PCPD has tried to stick on me, and I’ll confess to it. I’ll go to jail, but you have to leave Elizabeth alone.”

And despite Scott’s best effort, he felt a grudging respect for this man who wanted to remain loyal to his wife as well as his friend and had picked the option of self-sacrifice.

To walk in here and tell Scott he would confess to anything—knowing Scott could put him jail for the rest of his life—it took a measure of gravitas that he had not credited Morgan with.

“You don’t think you’re being overdramatic?” Scott asked, arching a brow. “I might ask for the maximum for Elizabeth, and maybe I’d get it, but it’s more likely she’d serve no more than five years. That’s better than whatever you or Corinthos could face.”

“Testifying against Sonny isn’t an option,” Morgan said, firmly. “I wouldn’t survive long enough to give the testimony.”

Ah. Well, that was a wrinkle Scott hadn’t quite considered, but he doubted Morgan would be in serious danger if he testified. And it was a risk Scott was willing to take. “We could always arrange protective custody, even witness protection.”

“You get me, Baldwin. I’m not testifying against Sonny, and you’re not putting Elizabeth in jail.”

Scott hesitated, and considered taking the deal. Without Jason Morgan to bolster his organization, Corinthos would follow in a matter of years, maybe even less. Morgan’s wife and children would likely be well-cared for if his assets weren’t frozen.

But Jason Morgan wasn’t Sonny Corinthos.

“I don’t want you,” Scott said after a long moment of silence. “If I wanted you, that would have been the deal. I want Sonny Corinthos. And if I have to prosecute your wife to make you understand that, I’ll do it.”

Morgan’s face faded in color, just a little. “You won’t take a confession from me?”

“I’ll tell you why.” Scott leaned forward. “If not for Sonny Corinthos, you and Elizabeth would not be in this mess. She did what she did to protect you. I get it. I even understand it to a certain extent. I’ve seen a little of the difficulties she’s faced in life. I’m sure she panicked when she stole that file, didn’t quite think it through. She’s not a master criminal, that’s for sure. She’s in this mess because she loves you. And you’re here to sacrifice yourself because you love her, too.”

“I told you—”

“If not for Sonny Corinthos, Jason, you’d be a different person. In a different line of work. Where your wife would not have had to protect you by lying to the police and committing crimes.” Scott leaned back in his chair. “I knew you before your accident—a little bit. But I also knew your family. And I know the challenges you faced after your accident.”

“I’m not interested in what you think—”

“You maybe didn’t have much of a career parking cars and working in construction, but you had a future. You didn’t give a damn about it then, but you do now, don’t you?” Scott raised his brows. “You know I’m right. Sonny Corinthos took advantage of you, Morgan. He took a kid who didn’t care about tomorrow, and he removed any chance of you ever changing your mind. You can never walk away from this business, and that’s because of Sonny Corinthos. Do you think I want to put a pregnant mother on trial?”

“But you will,” Morgan stated, his voice cold. “You think I give a damn what you think about me?”

“I know you don’t.” Scott stood. “I’m not the bad guy in this, Morgan. You, your wife, your lawyer—you all seem to want to paint me that way. I get it. Ric Lansing was a piece of dirt. I don’t think I’ll go ahead with the drug charges because, while they may fit my narrative, they don’t fit Elizabeth as a person. So when I take Elizabeth to court, we all know I’ll be prosecuting her for something she did. Your attorney has told you about the security footage. You know the evidence.  That’s my job, Morgan. To go after people who break the law. Your wife did that.”

To this, Morgan said nothing, but he didn’t leave either.

“If you’re truly concerned about the safety of your family, of yourself,” Scott continued, “I’m willing to work with you. Maybe you don’t have to testify. Maybe you cooperate and give us information so we can pursue independent charges. I don’t want any harm to come to your family. I have kids—” He hesitated then, thinking of Karen. Of the life she would never have.

“I don’t want you on a silver platter, Morgan, though maybe I’m crazy for turning that down. I don’t want your wife. I want Sonny. Putting him in jail will make the bigger difference. I’ll use whatever I have at my disposal in order to put him there, including Elizabeth. I’m not the bad guy, Morgan.”

“And that’s your final answer?” Morgan asked after a long moment. “You’re refusing to take me into custody. You’ll continue to go after Elizabeth unless I cooperate with you?”

“I will prosecute a criminal,” Scott said. “I told you, it’s up to you how I proceed at this point. I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow.”

Looking a bit stunned, Jason Morgan left his office, and Scott wondered if he’d made the right decision. Had he lost a chance here? But he still didn’t see a way for Morgan to get out of this without turning on someone.

And Scott still had his money on Morgan sacrificing his boss to save his wife.

Outside the office, a paralegal saw Jason Morgan striding down the hall, his face set in annoyance. He picked up the phone to call Diane Miller, wondering if she knew her client was meeting with the special prosecutor—without his attorney.

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

“I think Patrick is convinced I want to have a baby next month,” Robin complained as she tucked her feet underneath her and faced Elizabeth on the sofa. “He keeps sending me these panicked looks.”

Elizabeth laughed, sipping her tea. “Did you tell him to relax?”

“Hey, I’m just relieved he hasn’t headed for the hills yet,” Robin replied. She sighed. “He’s great, but he’s a jackass.”  Her expression sobered. “Any word from Diane?”

“No, but Jason said she’d call today.” Elizabeth hesitated. “He said she was optimistic yesterday, so that’s good. I’ll go to trial if Diane feels comfortable.” She shifted a bit, moving her hand to the small of her back. “I made sure Jason had guardianship of Cameron in case something happens before the adoption goes through.” She bit her lip. “And I drew up paperwork stating you would be guardian if something happened to Jason and me.”

“Me?” Robin repeated. “Why? What about—” She swallowed. “Carly? Or Sonny?”

“We talked about both of them, and I hope they’d be a part of the boys’ lives, but if something—Robin, in the worst case scenario and my children were left without the both of us, I’d like it if they were with someone who knew both their parents and liked them. Carly puts up with me because Jason told her to, and she likes Cam. It’s not the same.”

“Oh. I’m—” She pressed a hand to her chest. “I’m honored. Of course, not that it would ever happen, but if I were needed, I would step up.” Robin squeezed Elizabeth’s hand. “It’s not going to be necessary.”

Cody knocked and pushed open the door. “Ah, Ms. Miller is on her way up,” he told them. “Should I just let her right in?”

“Um, sure…” Elizabeth unfolded her legs and stood, hearing Robin do the same. “Should I call Jason to tell him? I’m surprised she didn’t call and make sure we were together.”

“Maybe it’s good news and she didn’t want to wait,” Robin suggested.

They heard Diane the moment she stepped off the elevator. “Where is he?” her voice boomed as she pushed past Cody and swept into the room. “Jason Morgan, you come out here right now before I tear this place apart!”

Elizabeth blinked, stepping forward. “Diane! What’s going on? Jason’s at work—”

“The hell he is!” Diane growled, planting her hands at her hips. “I told him I wouldn’t set up a meeting, and the stupid fool went to Scott Baldwin without me! How am I supposed to do my job unless he lets me?”

“Why would Jason go to Scott without you?” Elizabeth asked, her heart pounding. “Diane—”

“Jason doesn’t breathe without a lawyer at the PCPD,” Robin chimed in. “There’s no way—”

“My source in the DA’s office reported Jason talked to Scott Baldwin for twenty minutes, then stormed out. So thank God, Baldwin didn’t take the deal—”

“Deal?” Elizabeth demanded. “Diane, what the hell is going on?”

“Your husband wanted to be the sacrificial lamb,” Diane replied. If it were possible, her eyes would have shot darts. “He offered himself to Scott Baldwin on a silver platter. Wanted to have Baldwin charge him with anything he wanted as long as he left you alone.”

Stunned, Elizabeth dropped onto the sofa. “What?”

“No way, Jason wouldn’t—” Robin hesitated. “Baldwin turned him down?”

“He did not leave the office looking like a man who had won the day,” Diane replied. She narrowed his eyes. “You didn’t know what he was up to?”

“Do you think I would have let him out the door?” Elizabeth demanded, though she was feeling a bit dizzy. Jason had tried to sacrifice his own freedom in order to save her and Sonny. Oh, God. And it hadn’t worked. Where was he? “I thought you were feeling optimistic. Jason said—” She closed her eyes. “He lied to me.”

“To throw you off the scent,” Robin said. “Oh, God, Elizabeth—” She looked to Diane. “Then you don’t feel good?”

“I’m still working on something, but honestly, Elizabeth, no.” Diane pursed her lips. “I don’t feel quite optimistic. That does not mean I’ve given up.” She lifted her chin. “You tell your husband I don’t appreciate martyrs. He needs to let me do the job I’ve been paid to do. You tell him that!”

And with that, she swept of the penthouse, slamming the door behind her.

“Elizabeth—”

“He’s at Sonny’s, isn’t he?” Elizabeth lifted her eyes to Robin’s. “He went to Scott Baldwin, and Baldwin turned him down. Because he wants Sonny, not Jason. So Jason’s going to give him Sonny.”

“I don’t know.” Robin sat next to her. “But it looks like it—Elizabeth, I’m sure Sonny has a plan. He knew about this last week. And he had to know that if Jason were forced to choose, he’d pick you.”

“He can’t. I can’t let him do this.” She pressed a trembling hand to her mouth. “This is my fault—”

“Well, it’s a little bit Jason and Sonny’s fault, don’t you think?” Robin asked. “They knew what they were getting into—”

“And they’d still be getting away with it if it weren’t for me,” she said. She looked to Robin. “I have to turn myself in.”

“What?” Robin demanded. “No, no, no. That—Diane will flay you.”

“It’s the only way.” Elizabeth rose to her feet. “Then Jason won’t have do this. He can’t. I can’t let him.”

“Elizabeth, just wait a second—”

Elizabeth reached for her purse, and dragged her coat out of the closet. “Robin, I have to do this. This is my fault, and I have to fix it.”

“Let’s just talk to Sonny and Jason. Let’s let Diane do her job!” Robin pleaded.

“Cody,” Elizabeth said pulling the door open. “I need to go to the PCPD.”

“Cody, don’t!” Robin ordered, grabbing her own coat. “Elizabeth, just—just don’t—”

“Did Jason or Sonny get arrested?” Cody asked, confusion in his eyes. “Mrs. Morgan—”

“Cody, you either take me to the PCPD or I’ll drive myself.” She lifted her chin. “And you know I’ll do it.”

“Mrs. Morgan, don’t make me do this—”

“Then I’ll go by myself.” Elizabeth swept past him, and pushed the button for the elevator.

“Stop her!” Robin hissed to Cody, pulling out her cell phone.

“How?” the guard demanded. “Should I tackle her—” Cody jumped forward to make the elevator before they closed.

“Hell, Jason and Sonny are going to kill me,” Robin muttered as she pressed Jason’s number in her speed dial.

Greystone Manor: Living Room

“I’m sorry, Sonny,” Jason said after a long moment of silence. “I’ve tried every way out of this, but short of disappearing and taking Elizabeth and Cam with me, there’s nothing.”

Sonny nodded, but he hadn’t said much since Jason had announced his decision. “And that would just turn you all into fugitives. It’s no way for the boys to grow up.” He rubbed his chin. “Baldwin wouldn’t let you confess?”

“I thought about forcing his hand,” Jason said. “Just—going to the PCPD and confessing to Mac, but there’s no guarantee Scott wouldn’t continue going after Elizabeth. I can’t—” He dipped his head, looking at the ground. “I can’t let her go to jail. Not for this.”

“Of course not.” Sonny paused. “Jase, I’m not angry. I’m annoyed that Baldwin boxed us in so neatly, but I guess once he realized he knew your Achilles heel, he couldn’t resist exploiting it.” He waited. “Ah, what kind of evidence were you thinking of turning over?”

“I don’t know,” Jason began, but his phone rang. He pulled it out and frowned at seeing Robin’s name. “It’s Robin. She’s with Elizabeth—” He answered it. “Robin?”

“Go to the PCPD, you have to go right now!” Robin’s panicked voice all but screamed out of his receiver.

“Robin? What? What’s going on?”

“Diane told Elizabeth you tried to turn yourself in! Elizabeth went to the PCPD to confess. You have to stop her! I tried, but I couldn’t—Jason—”

“I’m on my way.” Jason hit the end button and just stared at it for heartbeat. “Elizabeth found out what I tried to do.”

“Oh, hell.” Sonny was already moving towards the door. “Max, we need the goddamn car!” He turned to Jason. “We should have seen this coming. She went all noble on us.”

“I can’t—” Jason swallowed. “She can’t—I can’t—”

Sonny nodded as he pushed his friend towards the door. “I get it, Jason. We’ll stop it. You’ll turn me in. It’s fine. Let’s just go stop Elizabeth from doing the right thing. And call your goddamn lawyer!”

July 29, 2015

This entry is part 24 of 34 in the The Best Thing

As the smoke and mirrors start to fade away
And we’re all we’ve got so let’s hold on tight
To the dreams that came before the fight
We were living smoke and mirrors anyway

Smoke and Mirrors, Lifehouse


Friday, August 19, 2005

Morgan Penthouse: Jason’s Office

 “An accident,” Jason repeated as he glanced through the initial report Johnny handed him. “They didn’t find any signs of arson?”

“No.” The other man leaned back in the chair they’d pulled in from the kitchen, one leg over his knee. “And believe me, between Scorpio and Lansing, they were looking. There’s no sign of accelerants. They’re leaning towards an electrical short as a source. Some sparks ignited on the main floor. The men didn’t see the flames until that room was engulfed.”

An accident. He could deal with that. He could work with that. He would show this report to Sonny and things could ease back. He hadn’t been able to pin Sonny down all week, and the truth be told, with Max tailing him, Jason had avoided his partner, not wanting to have the conversation they both knew they had to have.

“All right. As long as the police don’t change their opinions, I think we can relax there.” Jason set the report aside. He looked to Johnny. “I want you and the warehouse crew working with Bernie to get the new warehouse situated. I want everything up to code, I want the best security. I’m getting tired of replacing warehouses.”

It was their third warehouse in five years to go up in flames. This was getting ridiculous.

“You got it, Jase.”

They both turned their attention to Max who had remained uncharacteristically silent so far this morning. “Max?”

“Sonny’s…” The tall, brawny man scrubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t know how to describe it, Jase. He either knows I’m following him or I’m getting bad at this job, because I’ve lost him maybe once nearly every day. Not for long, but damn if I can’t figure out how it’s happening.”

Sonny disappearing for stretches of time during the same period Jason couldn’t put his hands on Johnny Zacchara did not bode well.

“If he knows you’re on him, then it’s time to add someone else to cover the bases. Pull whatever guy Francis thinks is best and add him to the detail. I need eyes and ears on Sonny at all times, Max.”

“I know, I know. I got Rocco on the door now while Sonny’s home and with him when he leaves, but even Rocco can’t ignore an order to leave him alone. It’s not the way this works.”

“I know.” Jason leaned back. “We’ll figure something else out, but for now, Max, I need you to make this happen.”

And with that, Sonny’s guard was dismissed.

“O’Brien,” Jason said, “don’t start with me right now.”

“I’m not,” Johnny said. “You and me, we started in this business around the same time. You know that, right? So some of the guys have approached me.” When Jason glared at him, Johnny shook his head. “I’m not giving you names. But they want a change and they looked to me. You can’t lose the trust of the men who work in this organization, Jason, by pussy footing around. I put them off. I told them that until we got Junior under wraps and packed off to Daddy, drawing any more attention to our troubles with a power play would be suicide.”

Jason exhaled slowly. “I appreciate that, Johnny.” A mutiny was the last thing he needed right now.

“Are Elizabeth and the kids okay with us coming in and out of here so much this week?” Johnny asked. “I don’t see them around much.”

Jason’s shoulders tightened. He did not want to talk about the tension and stress that permeated his home these days. “They’re fine. Nora keeps the kids in the playroom upstairs and takes them to the park. Elizabeth works out of her studio most of the time. They know it’s temporary.” He frowned when Johnny appeared to hesitate. “What?”

“It’s not temporary, Jase.” Johnny rose to his feet. “I mean, you know that, right? We’ll find another place to meet often, but this…the level of responsibility you’re taking on? It’s just the beginning. Does she know that? Is that what she even signed on for?”

“You can go now,” Jason responded blandly.

For once, Johnny shut his mouth and left without another harsh reminder of how quickly things had unraveled. If Jason had thought this last year was difficult—trying to juggle his deteriorating partnership with Sonny, building a life with Elizabeth—it was nothing compared to this last week. He was no longer able to support the illusion that Sonny was in control.

He didn’t want the power, he never had, but he might have to take it in order to protect everyone else.

Wyndemere: Sitting Room

 Emily was smiling when she saw Elizabeth come through the door to her sitting room. “I’m so glad you’re finally here!”

Elizabeth managed a weak laugh as her friend hugged her tightly. “I came as soon as you called. You said it was urgent.” She’d dropped her brush, her paints, everything in order to race to the boat launch.

“Oh.” Emily colored a bit as they both sat on the sofa. “I’m sorry, Liz. I should have thought—I mean, I think it’s urgent, but it’s not in the sense of what Jason might mean.” She took Elizabeth’s hands in hers. “I just…I wanted to tell you. And I wanted to tell you now, and immediately, because I want some brightness in our life.”

And didn’t Elizabeth need that quite desperately? “Emily, what’s going on?”

“I’m pregnant!”

The words seemed to explode out of Emily’s mouth like a comet shooting across the sky. She laughed as she said them, drawing her hands back to touch her flat abdomen. “I’m only six weeks along, but I’m having a baby!”

“Oh…” Elizabeth pressed her hand to her mouth. “Oh, my God. Emily. Em.” She leaned forward and hugged her best friend with all the strength she could muster. “Oh, my God. I can’t believe it. I didn’t even know you were trying!”

“Since the wedding. Nikolas was a bit apprehensive—you know how badly Cassadines are with raising kids, but I told him I didn’t want to wait a single moment longer.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “I wanted to catch up to you. I didn’t want so much space between our kids. Two years is an eternity!”

“Oh, Emily…” Tears stung her eyes, and she hugged her again. “I love you so much. I’m so thrilled for you, what incredible news!”

“I’m due in late March, early April or so, according to Dr. Lee at the hospital.” Emily beamed. “I told my mother when I found out, because you know, Mom, and she’s just like—if sunbeams and rainbows could emerge from this woman, I think they would. She’s over the moon about having three grandchildren.”

Elizabeth’s smile faltered at the first time, though she appreciated the way Monica had embraced her son. “I don’t know what’s going to happen with Evie, Em.”

Emily pursed her lips. “I know things have been a bit tough this week with that awful fire, but Nikolas said the fire report said it was an accident.” She hesitated. “That helps, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t know.” Elizabeth rose and walked towards the large windows overlooking the stables. “I’m sorry I said anything, Em, really. This is your day—”

“Hey, we had my moment. Now I want to talk to you.” Emily stood. “Things are okay, aren’t they? I mean, I know about Audrey—”

Elizabeth closed her eyes. “A week ago, I was floating on air,” she murmured. “Everything was coming together for me. You know? I had this incredible career with the prospect of even more success. I have this wonderful little boy who makes everything worth it. I have wonderful friends, amazing family.” She turned, opening her eyes. “And I had Jason, this unbelievable man who loved me, who wants my son. And Sonny—Sonny was like his old self. It was perfect.”

“Most of that is still true,” Emily said, but her tone was hesitant. “Isn’t it? Is Sonny…is he sliding again?”

“I think so, but Jason hasn’t said anything.” Elizabeth exhaled slowly. “He was fine on Friday night, but by Sunday, I could see Jason was having doubts about it lasting. He said Sonny is only being treated for depression.”

“Hell.” Emily’s mouth twisted. “That’s a recipe for disaster.”

“And then, Monday morning—” Elizabeth twisted her fingers together. “Sonny called Jason at three about the fire. But he had Max calling him on the landline, and Jason had only missed one ring—he answered it on the second, but it wasn’t fast enough. By the time Jason answered it, Sonny was already pounding at our door. I could hear Max and Milo trying to hold him back, but he burst through the door, shouting Jason’s name. He was out of control, Em. The kids were crying, I couldn’t get them settled down—”

“Well, the fire was upsetting…” Emily trailed off. “But I get it, it must have been scary.”

“And Jason’s working all the time. I’m not complaining about that,” she added in a rush of breath. “I’m just—I’m confused. I know Jason has always done a lot of the delegating, a lot of the go between stuff, but it’s different, Emily. He’s working out of the penthouse because the warehouse is gone, and that’s fine. Nora keeps the kids out of the way, and I’m at the studio or my grandmother’s, but I—I don’t think it’s temporary.”

Emily sat on the sofa, her dark eyes wide. “He’s going to take over.”

“I don’t know.” Elizabeth brought her hand to her mouth, bit on her fingernail, her other hand at her waist. “He’s not talking to me. He’s working all hours of the night, and I’m dividing my time between my studio, the kids, and my grandmother—” She closed her eyes. “It’s slipping away from me, Emily. Just like before.”

“Hey.” Emily took her hand and tugged her down. “Hey. Listen. Tell me what you’re thinking. What’s like before?”

Elizabeth could hardly breathe now that she had said the horrible words she had been holding in for days. “Before. When we tried.  There was stuff going on with the business then, and Sonny was going through this. That’s when he faked his death. Jason lied to me about Sonny being dead, and I was so angry. He wasn’t talking to me, he wasn’t coming home. It was like I didn’t matter, that I wasn’t important enough. And when I found out, I just—I exploded.”

She bit her lip. “Carly, who had turned Sonny into the Feds a year earlier, she got to know the plan, but not me. I hid Jason while he was shot, you know? I sacrificed friendships and my reputation to keep him safe, but none of that mattered. I felt worthless. Unimportant. Unloved. So I walked.”

“Elizabeth…” Emily murmured. “I didn’t—”

“Jason told me earlier this year that Sonny was on the verge of a breakdown during that period—that he’d been questioning his loyalty and his decisions. That Sonny had wanted to keep me in the dark, so Jason agreed to preserve the peace. And I let it go when he told me, because I could see Jason hadn’t seen it as choosing Sonny over me. But I did.”

“And still do, obviously.” Emily tilted her head. “Do you think he’s going to choose Sonny again?”

“I don’t know, because I don’t know what’s going on,” Elizabeth replied. “And I can’t push him. He’ll just tell me there are things I can’t know, like he did before. Emily, I don’t care if Jason ends up in charge. I’d be an idiot if I didn’t think that was a possibility, but…”

“You don’t want to be the last one to know again.” Emily sighed. “I’m so sorry—”

“No, I’m sorry.” Elizabeth shook her head. “I’m—I’m just tired, you know? It’s been a rough week, and I’m sure with the fire being an accident, things will be okay. It’s fine, Em.”

“It’s not.” Emily tightened her grip on Elizabeth’s hands, preventing her from standing. “And you get to feel the way you feel. I get it.  I wasn’t here that last time, but I can see the parallels. A dangerous business situation, Sonny’s going off the rails, and you and Jason are trying to juggle a life together. You’d be an idiot if you didn’t feel some of the same doubts.”

She leaned forward. “You need to vent, you need to talk about this to me. Because I’ll talk you through it. Elizabeth, maybe there are similarities, but you know there are very important differences.”

When Elizabeth hesitated, Emily pressed her point. “You know there are,” she repeated. “And I want you to list them, so you can reassure yourself that is not the crisis you’re building it up to be.”

Elizabeth took a deep breath. “We’re engaged,” she said softly. “And we were just…barely starting something then. We’ve made promises, said things we’ve never said before.”

“Good. What else?”

“He’s already started the paperwork to adopt Cameron, and I know that’s not a decision he’d take lightly. I know he loves my son.”

Some of the tightness in her chest was starting to dissipate. “And until this week, he’s been brutally honest about Sonny’s condition, even about some of the problems he’s been facing at work. I didn’t know what Jason was facing the last time. I never would have walked out if I’d known Sonny’s issues back then.”

“Exactly, Liz.” Emily squeezed her hands once more before releasing them. “You and Jason are stronger now. You weren’t then. Jason’s going through a lot right now, and so are you. The last thing either one of you needs is doubts about what the other is thinking. Do you think if you’ve seen the parallels, Jason hasn’t?”

“He can’t think—” Elizabeth looked at her friend. “I would never leave him. I’m just—scared of what this is all going to mean. Of what’s going to change. But I would never walk out because of his job. It was never about what he does.”

She closed her eyes. “I need to talk to him. I need to assure him that I’m here. I told him that before. I said that I was in it, that I mattered. But then I walked away from him. I won’t make that mistake again.”

“Good. We have that established.” Emily hesitated. “About Sonny. I don’t—if he’s triggered a manic part of the disorder, then we’re in for a bumpy ride. Do you think that’s happening? Or is this just a setback?”

“I don’t know,” Elizabeth replied. “I just—” She closed her eyes. “I told Carly everything a few days ago, but it didn’t change anything. She just has something else to blame Jason for. She seems to think if we handed Evie back to Sonny, this would all stop.”

“It’s not Evie’s job to fix Sonny,” Emily said, bristling. “Maybe Jason made mistakes, but his mistakes have kept that little girl in a safe and calm environment for the last year. Can we say that about Michael and Morgan?”

“I’m just—I’m scared, Emily. Everything is falling apart. I’m not—I know that if Jason and I are honest with one another, we can get through it, but that doesn’t mean what’s in front of us isn’t terrifying.”

“It’ll be okay, Liz.” But Emily didn’t look convinced.

Harborview Towers: Hallway

Jason stepped out of the elevator at the same time Carly and her guard were stepping on. He put his hand on the door to keep it from closing. “Carly. I’ve been trying to catch you for a few days.”

“Oh?” The blonde arched a brow. “That’s a change from the last year or so, isn’t it, Jase?”

Jason hesitated. “Carly—”

“I know all about Sonny’s supposed mental illness.” Carly lifted her chin. “Did you tell him he was crazy so you could keep Evie? He thinks he’s depressed, but I know better. I read those stupid pamphlets your girlfriend gave me. Sonny’s always been obsessed with power, with control. That doesn’t make him crazy.”

“No,” Jason said slowly, realizing Elizabeth had gone ahead and spoke to Carly as they had planned. “No, that’s not what we’re saying. Carly, you know how Sonny gets—” He flicked his eyes to her guard, but as it was Eddie, one of their long-time regulars, he felt comfortable continuing. “I think he’s getting worse—”

“You know how to make this stop, Jason,” Carly said. She pushed his hand clear of the doors. “You don’t want to do it. You’re being selfish, Jason, and you’re destroying all of us in the process.”

The doors slid closed, leaving him standing in the hallway.

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bedroom

By the time Jason left his office that night, it was close to midnight. The kids had been in bed for hours, and Elizabeth should also have been sleep by then.

But she was sitting up in bed, the bedside lamp still burning, and a sketchpad in her lap. “Hey.” She set her pad and pencil on the night stand. “I was hoping you would come to bed soon.”

“You’re still up.” Jason sat on the edge of the bed next to her, drinking her in. The last moment of peace, of tranquility had been in this room, five days earlier, just before the fire.

The fatigue had seeped into his bones, but he somehow knew she hadn’t just waited up to say good night. “Elizabeth…”

“I love you,” she told him. “And I love you whether you’re doing whatever you normally do or if you end up doing whatever Sonny is supposed to do.” She sat up, tucking her knees underneath her. “But you can’t keep me in the dark.”

“I wasn’t—” He sighed and tilted his head to the ceiling. “I didn’t mean to. I’m always going to want to protect you from this life, from the filth, from the violence. I’m sorry, but that’s just how it is.”

“And I get that.” She touched his shoulder. “But Jason, you can’t tell me that under normal circumstances, in situations like this, you would be handling everything from your own home, and not Sonny’s. I haven’t seen him once, which likely means he hasn’t been here at all. You’re telling me that would be normal procedure? For him not to be involved?”

He wanted to lay in bed, look at the ceiling and just listen to her breathe as she slept. Was that too much to ask?

But she was right. Even if the situation of working out of the penthouse was temporary, it wasn’t the way things would run if Sonny were still able to do it himself.

And she deserved to know the changes on the horizon. And for her own safety, she deserved to know the risks they faced if things couldn’t be controlled.

“No, it’s not,” he answered finally. He kicked off his boots, so that he could sit on the bed and face her. “You remember Johnny Zacchara? You met him at your showing in the winter.”

“I do. You said he wasn’t really friend or foe, but his father’s lawyer was Ric’s father.” Elizabeth tilted her head. “Has that changed?”

“No, but he’s—” Jason exhaled. “I told you a few months ago about a guy Sonny suspected of being behind some minor issues. That’s Zacchara. He’s been hanging around town for the better part of a year, probably longer before he came on our radar. He’s known for hanging out in music clubs and galleries. We think he met his girlfriend here at Luke’s. He’s around more now because of her.”

“And his being around makes Sonny more suspicious though he’s not done anything to warrant it.” Elizabeth nodded. “Okay.”

“He’s not really the problem,” Jason continued. “It’s his father. Anthony Zacchara.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “He’s…dangerous in a way that I can’t really explain. He’s insane. And I don’t mean that lightly. He has no principles, no boundaries. He’s completely ruthless and operates on pure fear. He is not someone we want against us.”

Elizabeth exhaled slowly. “Okay. I get that. So his son is hanging around, but you can’t do anything about it because the father will declare war. Do you think he or his father had something to do with the fire?”

“No.” Jason shook his head. “No, we’ve never had an inkling that Zacchara looks at us any more than an annoyance. He doesn’t care for Sonny, though that’s probably due more to Trevor Lansing’s influence. Zacchara’s ruthless, but he’s not stupid. He doesn’t start wars for the hell of it. When he comes after you, it’s because you deserve it.”

Elizabeth frowned. “I don’t understand. If Anthony Zacchara doesn’t have an issue with you, and Johnny Zacchara didn’t do anything, then—”

“Sonny has had Johnny in his sights for months. I’ve been able to stave him off by keeping a guy on him, but Sonny can’t let it go. And the morning of the fire, he—” Jason looked away. “I sent men to pull Johnny in so I could ship him to his father, or just get him the hell out of town, but—”

Her face changed and he knew she understood. “Oh, God, did something happen to him? He seemed so nice.”

“I don’t know,” Jason admitted. “We’re looking for him. And we hope not. Maybe he saw the fire, maybe he’s not so stupid. Maybe he’s decided to lay low. I don’t know. The thing is…”

“It’s possible Sonny put everyone in danger if he did something to Johnny Zacchara,” Elizabeth said softly. “And someone who is capable of that kind of thing isn’t exactly inspiring a lot of trust and loyalty.”

“It’s not just my family in danger if Anthony Zacchara comes after us for this,” Jason said, hating that he was exposing her to this world, but she had to know the stakes. Had to make informed decisions. “It’s the lives of every man who works for us and their families. If something happens to his son in Port Charles, Anthony Zacchara isn’t going to wait for me to deal with it myself. He’ll burn the city to the ground. He won’t care about collateral damage.”

“Jason…” Elizabeth drew her knees up in front of her and waited a moment. “I want Sonny to be okay, you know that. I tried to make that happen. And I’ve tried not to push you when it comes to him.”

“You haven’t. Elizabeth—”

“But at some point, we’re going to have to decide where we draw the line. Sonny is ill. If this happened, if he put us all in danger without proof, without a reason, then I don’t—” She bit her lip. “I can’t live in a world where he has access to this kind of power and can do this kind of damage. That’s…I’m not saying I would leave you, I’m just—”

He put a hand on her knee, and she stopped talking. “And I can’t live in a world where Sonny’s mistakes cost lives,” Jason said quietly. “Maybe I can put out the fires this time, and maybe we can fix this. But I don’t know if it should go back to the way it was. If at any point, Sonny’s illness, whatever is, puts the people that matter to me at risk—or anyone else. I’ve been accused of putting my head in the sand, of ignoring what’s right in front of me.”

She sighed. “Jason—”

“But that’s not an option anymore, and I know that. I chose protecting Sonny over what was right for us once.” She looked away at that reminder, and he knew he hadn’t been wrong to suspect the parallels had been on her mind as well.  “I’m not going to do it again. Because I can’t protect Sonny anymore.”

“Jason, I’m so sorry…” A tear slid down her cheek. “I hate this. I hate it all. I hate even suggesting you have to choose, because I love him, too, and I want him to be okay. I don’t want him to struggle, and maybe if he were anyone else dealing with this disorder, we could muddle through, but he’s not. He’s Sonny Corinthos—”

“It’s not a choice between you and Sonny,” Jason interrupted. “Pretending it is just makes it sound like if we kept protecting him, things would be okay. We tried that once, Elizabeth. I chose protecting him and the status quo, and you decided you couldn’t live with it.”

“If you had told me what he was facing…” Elizabeth sighed. “I like to think I would been able to deal with, but I don’t know.”

“It didn’t change anything. We’re right back where we started, and no one would blame you if you took your son and ran. Because I just—” His chest was tight. “It’s going to get worse before it gets better.”

“If I were to leave you,” Elizabeth said slowly, “it wouldn’t change the situation. You would still be here. Evie would still be here. And so would Michael and Morgan.”

She met his eyes. “It’s not on the table, Jason. I don’t know if you were talking hypothetically or giving me an out. I don’t want it. The situation doesn’t change for anyone I love just because I walk away from it. I didn’t see that that before, but I’m not that scared little girl. I’m here, I’m in it.” Another tear slid down her cheek. “And so are you. And we count. Whatever you have to choose going forward, nothing between us changes. Because I love you. And I know that you love me. Whatever you face, take that with you.”

He leaned down, resting his forehead against her knees. Because he didn’t know he’d needed this. That he’d needed to hear her promise, her oath.

Jason thought he could face anything if he had Elizabeth standing behind him, and now he was convinced she would be.

“I love you,” he managed to say. He leaned forward, her legs falling to the side as he covered her, drawing her into a fierce and possessive kiss. “And I am never going to let you regret staying.”

“I couldn’t,” she murmured against his lips. “We were always going to end back here, Jason. And there’s nowhere else I would rather be.”