And life is a road that I wanna keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I’ll be there when the world stops turning
I’ll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you
– At the Beginning, Richard Marx, f. Donna Lewis

Warehouse

They could hear muffled voices as Jason, Sonny and several of their men drew closer to the back room in the small warehouse on Van Ness Street. There had been no one guarding the exits, and Jason thought that Freddy had been jerking them around until they’d heard sounds from the back of the building.

“Johnny and Louie are on the back exits,” Sonny murmured in his ear, his own gun drawn and pointed toward the ground. “Francis and Marco are covering the left side, Ricky and Oliver are on the other side. We’re going in from the front. We’ve got it as covered as it’s going to get.”

“I don’t like it, Sonny.” He shook his head. “It’s too quiet.”

He slowly eased the door open and stepped gingerly towards the back room. He watched as the men they’d stationed on either side crept towards them. They met in the middle of the room.

“It’s Elizabeth’s voice I hear,” Jason almost breathed. “But where are Faith and her men?”

“Cut her losses maybe,” Francis replied. “Makes life easier if she just abandoned them.”

Maybe, but he wasn’t counting her out.

As they drew closer to the room, the voices became more distinct and he knew how that Elizabeth was in there, with Ric. They stopped just before the closed door, Jason motioning them to hold their positions.

“I don’t care what you do to me,” Elizabeth’s low voice floated through. “You’ll never get near my daughter, so you can kill me—”

“Stop saying that,” Ric growled. “I would never hurt you, Elizabeth. I love you.”

“Well, I never loved you. You were just a way to pass the time.”

Jason closed his eyes and muttered under his breath. Why Elizabeth was taunting the psychopath, he couldn’t imagine.

“That’s not how it was between us and you know it. You loved me, Elizabeth. Now, Jason made you forget that. He talked you out of it, made you feel guilty for moving on—”

Elizabeth’s laughter cut Ric’s words off. “You need to believe that, don’t you? Is that what you’ve been telling yourself all these months I lied to everyone I know and love, telling them Jason and I slept together? I mean, you understand that I blew up my life with that lie and I would do it again if it meant I could have him and you’d be gone. I never loved you, Ric. Not even for a minute.”

Sonny rolled his eyes. “This would be funny if it weren’t so serious,” he breathed.

“That was his idea and I know it,” Ric snarled. “I saw your face, Elizabeth. You were just as surprised as I was. You were faithful to me—”

“Faithful.” She snorted. “That’s a funny word. Because you certainly weren’t. But that’s fair, Ric, because I emotionally cheated on you every time I saw Jason and wished you were anywhere else.”

“Damn it, Elizabeth—”

They heard Ric’s footsteps moving further into the room. Jason nodded to the four other men. “Now.”

Jason kicked open the door, the first to move in, and before Ric knew what was happening, the eight of them had him and Elizabeth surrounded, Johnny and Louie having burst in from the back.

Ric had drawn his gun as soon as the door came down, but rather than training it on Elizabeth they’d expected, he’d pointed it right at Jason. The two men stood there in a silent stand-off.

Sonny and Marco quickly loosened Elizabeth’s knots and she stood, almost swaying from the hours of being tied down. “Francis, take her—”

“No,” Elizabeth shook her head. “Not without—”

“Elizabeth, go with Sonny,” Jason said without sparing her a look. His finger was on the trigger and he was going to pull it as soon as she was in the clear. She might accept what he did for a living, but he wasn’t going to make her see it. “Please. He’ll take you home to Cady.”

“You think you’ve got me, don’t you?” Ric hissed. “You think you’ve got me right where you want me. You may have my daughter, Morgan, but I’m not letting you have Elizabeth.”

“Look around you, Ric,” Jason jeered. “I don’t see you with the upper hand.”

And he saw in Ric’s eyes that the other man did know it. That he was not leaving this room alive.

Which made him dangerous.

“Elizabeth,” Jason began. “I need you to go. Please.”

And this time, she started for the door.

“I love her,” Ric said quietly. “More than you ever will. You didn’t love her enough to go after her. She had to come to you. Do you think she doesn’t know that? That she doesn’t know she was the default, the second choice? She’ll realize it one day, Morgan, and when she knows that you never loved her the way she loves you, it’ll break her heart.”

And then Ric’s eyes shifted past Jason and he knew Elizabeth and Francis were near.

“I’m going to save her from that,” Ric said, his eyes bright and wild. “If I can’t have her, no one will.”

And then he moved and changed his target.

The room exploded in gunfire.

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

Carly Corinthos was going to come out of her skin. Two hours since Jason and Sonny had left the penthouse with a cadre of guards, leaving her here with Max and Rocco on the door.

The kids were asleep and it was past midnight, but Carly hadn’t even bothered trying to lay her head on the pillow.

She would not sleep until her husband, her best friend and…well…damn it, her Muffin were back in this building safe and sound. It was the only outcome she was going to accept and she would be damned if anything would come between her and her family.

“If they have so much as a scratch on them,” Carly muttered, turning back from the door to pace towards the mantel, “I will…well, I’ll do something. I’ll figure out something and I will do it, and the world will be sorry they messed with me and mine.”

The door creaked open.

Carly whirled and saw the exhausted form of her husband come through the door first. “S-Sonny…”

And then the Muffin, who was hobbling a little on Jason’s arm.

“Oh, thank God.” She flew at them, hugging and kissing Sonny before moving to Jason and then she threw her arms around Elizabeth.

“What happened?” she demanded, drawing back from the uncomfortable experience of hugging Elizabeth Webber. “You can’t call me, tell me you’re alive? Where is everyone else? What the hell—”

“Carly.” Sonny held up a hand, and watched as Jason helped Elizabeth to the sofa. “We…had to get back in case the cops showed up. There…was some gunfire and we didn’t want to be on the scene too long once we cleaned it up.”

“Where’s Cady?” Elizabeth demanded. Her eyes were bleary, her shoulders slumped. “Is she okay?”

“Fine,” Carly nodded. “I haven’t let her out of my sight all day. Well, out of mine, Michael or Leticia’s sight. And you know Michael takes cousin duties very seriously. We haven’t left this penthouse since we realized you were missing.”

And then Elizabeth straightened and turned to Jason, her fingers clutching at his shirt. “Cody. He was shot when Dominic grabbed me. Is she…”

“He was alive when we found him,” Sonny said. “Harry got him to the private clinic, and the report we got before we left for the warehouse was that he was expected to recover.”

She closed her eyes. “Okay. Okay. He was…he knew something was up when the elevator stopped, but Dominic said there was a security issue, and I followed him because I was scared someone had gotten to the penthouse, but Cody…Cody wanted me to stay back. I thought about just going by myself, but what if I was wrong…and someone was up here.”

“We haven’t found Dominic yet,” Sonny bit out. “But we will.” He rubbed his eyes and headed for a bourbon. “And Faith was gone by the time we got to the warehouse.”

“She was angry,” Elizabeth murmured. “She came into the room as Ric was explaining to me that we should be a family, that he loved me.”

Carly snorted. “After he used her for a year, I’m sure Faith loved that. I’m surprised she didn’t shoot him.” Then she frowned. “But she probably would have shot you, too.” She hesitated. “Did…where is Ric?”

“He tried to kill me,” Elizabeth said softly, and Carly pressed her fisted hand to her mouth. “He was surrounded, and he knew…he knew he wouldn’t make it out alive. I thought…” She closed her eyes and Jason gripped her knee, as if to remind her it was over. “I thought he was going to shoot Jason.”

“But if he was going to die, he wasn’t going to let anyone else have you.” Carly nodded. “What a prince. Was anyone hurt?”

“Francis took the shot for Elizabeth,” Sonny muttered, tossing back the entire tumbler of liquor, “but it only got him in the shoulder.” She saw him stare into the empty glass. “If it weren’t for him…”

“He was aiming for my face.” Elizabeth pressed her fingers to her cheek. “I taunted him. I shouldn’t have, but I thought he was going to kill me anyway with Faith gone. I wasn’t going to beg for my life.”

“I hope he’s rotting somewhere,” Carly snarled. “You know what? Rotting is too good for him. We’ll come up with something else. Maybe we can blow up what’s left—”

“Carly.” Sonny touched her shoulder and she sighed.

“Right. I’m sorry.” She cleared her throat. “Cady’s asleep, and I have enough bottles to get me through tomorrow morning. Why don’t you guys go home and get some rest?”

And as Jason led Elizabeth out the door and across the hall, she realized Jason hadn’t said a word the entire time.

Carly looked at Sonny and frowned. “Is he okay?”

“He made the kill shot,” Sonny said quietly. “And he did it in front of Elizabeth. I think…he just needs to come to terms with the fact that unlike Robin or Courtney, Elizabeth knows exactly what he does as an enforcer, and…she loves him anyway.”

“I should think so, since he was rescuing her.” Carly eyed Sonny, stepping towards him. “You okay? I know…today was difficult for you. You…lost both your siblings.” Her skin crawled knowing what Courtney had done, how she had brought danger into all their lives. If Carly ever saw the bitch again, she would beat her death with a shoe.

A stiletto, even.

“No, I didn’t.” Sonny rubbed his face. “I lost two people who were genetically related to me. Courtney’s gone. Or she will be once I’ve made the arrangements for her house arrest in Puerto Rico. Ric’s already buried.” He narrowed his eyes. “You didn’t hear that from me.”

She raised her hands as if to say she understood. “Still, Sonny…”

“I think it’s more that…” He hesitated. “Jason is like a brother to me. I picked him for my family, like I picked Stone once. And you know, I’ve always had a soft spot for Elizabeth. Since she…dropped to the ground the night Lucky Spencer was in that fire. I caught her, and I…” He looked up and swallowed hard. “I held her as she absorbed the news, I sat next to her until we could get someone to take her home. And then…she came to apologize to me.”

Carly tilted her head to the side. “Sonny…”

“Luke and Laura were blaming me and Jason…which they had a right to, honestly. It was an obvious leap, but Elizabeth had heard the arson report. The fire was caused by candles, and she’d talked to him on the phone, you know. Asked him to light one for her. So it was her fault, really, not mine, she said. And she was sorry people were blaming me.” He paused. “And you know what she did for Jason that winter. She saved his life, and if not for her, if not for the way he felt about her, Carly, he could have held on to the anger and betrayal for much longer.”

“Yeah,” Carly muttered. She folded her arms and looked away. “That’s why I hated her for so long, because I knew I had ruined everything, and there she was, practically perfect for him.” She snorted. “Wench.”

“She was there the night we lost our son, and she sat with me while I grieved. So when I say I didn’t lose anyone important today, Carly, that’s exactly what I mean. Jason has been my brother for so long, and Elizabeth has always felt like family. So, today, Carly, I saved the people who mattered.” He flicked his hand. “And discarded the ones who don’t.”

“I thought I should feel more upset about Courtney,” Carly said slowly. “Because at one point, I thought of her as my best friend, but you know what?” She shook her head. “I forgot what it meant to have a best friend. I hadn’t had one since Carly Roberts in Florida, you know. I wanted you to have your sister in your life, so I forced her to fit. I told myself she was my friend and that she was perfect for Jason, that we could all be one happy family. But she never fit.” She wrinkled her nose. “But Elizabeth did. And does. So I’m with you, Sonny. The people who mattered came home tonight.”

And now Sonny grinned. “You called her Elizabeth.”

“Don’t push it. I’ll never call her that to her face. Never. She’s the Muffin. Forever. Because she has a muffin face.” Carly sniffed. “Bite me, Sonny.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Jason said nothing when he sat on the sofa and Elizabeth climbed into his lap, curling up into his embrace. They sat there, listening to each other breathe, her cheek against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

“I told you that you could trust your guards,” Jason said finally. “And one of them betrayed you.”

She sighed, her eyes still closed. “He betrayed you, too. There was no way we could have known. He was friendly with me, not like Cody, Francis or Marco, but I never expected him to be. The other three guarded me before, and they talked to me.” Her throat was thick. “Cody was my friend, you know. He was the first person to see Cady’s sonogram, and he tried so hard to protect me when he thought you were hurting me.”

“He’ll be all right.” Jason’s hand stroked her back. “He was lucky.”

“I wanted to help him, but I knew what he would want me to do. He’d want me to run, you’d want me to run, so I tried, but maybe I hesitated too long—”

“He would have caught you regardless.” Jason exhaled slowly. “I didn’t…I didn’t see what Ric was doing until it was too late, until he went for you. I always thought the threat was to Cady—”

“Why would we think otherwise?” Elizabeth raised her head and looked. “Jason, he told me he didn’t want to be separated from his child. And I didn’t think he was all that attached to me. I heard him with you and Sonny, with Faith. The way he talked about our relationship. I saw his face that first time on the docks when he realized I knew the truth—”

“But we should have realized something was up—he didn’t try that hard to get to you before Cady was born. We thought it was because you were so well-protected, but…he didn’t want to hurt you or the baby. He didn’t take any chances until after Cady was born.”

“Jason.” Elizabeth cradled his face in her hands. “It doesn’t matter anymore. He’s dead. And if you think I give a damn that you were the one that killed him, you’re still not giving me any credit. If I’d had a gun, I would have shot him myself. Jason…” When he looked away, she gripped his chin and turned him back towards her. “He tried to kill me. He aimed the gun at my face and I would be dead right now if not for you and Francis. As long as Ric was on this planet, he was a threat to me, to you, to our daughter. This is the world we live in, and I accept that.”

“I just…” He tilted his head back and looked at the ceiling. “I never wanted you to see me like that.”

“I’ve always known who you were, Jason.” She hesitated. “The first time I saw you, it was at Brenda and Sonny’s non-wedding. I had to steal an invitation to get in, and Lucky still had to vouch for me because a man with a gun thought I might be a threat at the age of fifteen. I was in the club the night Nikolas was shot because he was standing next you. I remember how scared I was, because Lucky made me and Emily duck.”

He sighed but she wasn’t through. “Lucky worked as a courier for you until you quit. And I saw you twist Sorel’s arm behind him like it was nothing, because he talked to me. Jason, I have no illusions about you or your job.”

When his shoulders slumped, she thought he might finally have understood that there had never been a moment in their relationship, even when they’d been nothing more than people with mutual acquaintances, that she hadn’t known exactly who he was.

She slid her arms around his neck, letting her fingers play with the hair at his nape. “You know, Jason, I think I have a resolution for this problem we keep having.”

He frowned and looked at her, loosely wrapping his own arms around her waist. “What?”

“I think…” she began slowly, “we ought to sign some sort of contract that stipulates some sort of…punishment for breaking the terms.” She smiled, a little hesitantly. “Like…a prenuptial agreement.”

His fingers tightened at her hips for a second, and she saw in his eyes that he understood exactly what she was asking. “So…we’d agree on a certain amount of years,” he replied, his voice soft. “And if either of us reneged, there’d be…what…damages?”

“The worst kind,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to the corner of his jaw. “If I left, I’d forfeit something I can’t live without. And if you left, you’d forfeit something you can’t live without.” She swallowed hard. “Like…each other.”

“Hmmm…” His hands slid up from her waist to her torso, his long fingers wrapping around her back, his thumbs brushing under her breasts. “How many years would we…stipulate?”

“Oh…” She could feel tears clinging to her lashes, but these were not the kind of tears she’d cried over him once.

These were tears of joy, tears of disbelief.

“I thought we’d start with fifty years and include an option for more.” She brushed her lips over his, nibbling at his bottom lip until he opened his mouth, letting her control the kiss.

When she drew back, she rested her forehead against his. “Will you marry me, Elizabeth?” he asked.

Her lips curved into a smile. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Sunday, March 7, 2004

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Elizabeth stepped off the bottom stair, fastening her earring. “Jason’s meeting us at the church. He and Sonny wanted to go over the security one last time with Father Coates.”

Carly wrinkled her nose and peered at the boxes on the table. “How many of these are from the Quartermaines?”

“Only half of them.” Elizabeth smoothed her strapless white dress and then reached for the soft blue cardigan she was going to wear over it. “You know, Jason told me again last night he could pull some strings and get a marriage license for today. I told him no, because this is Morgan and Cady’s day, I wanted it be about their christening. It’s the third time he’s tried that.”

The blonde snorted as she peered at notes on the beautifully wrapped christening gifts. “Yeah, he’s worried I’m going to plan something ostentatious and completely against his style.”

Elizabeth frowned, stepping into the low kitten heels by the desk. “Jason doesn’t have a style.”

“Exactly.” Carly lifted a box and shook it a little. “And it’s not like you’d let me get away with anything he’d hate.” She set the box down and pointed at her. “It can be a small ceremony and reception, but damn it, you’re having a wedding where people are actually invited. I may not be the maid of honor—”

“Well, no,” Elizabeth allowed, but she arched an eyebrow. “Seeing as how you’re married, so you’d have to be the matron of honor.”

Carly paused and looked at her suspiciously. “Is this a trick? You’re friends with Emily again. There’s that nurse at the hospital. Why would you pick me?”

“Because,” Elizabeth said, joining her in the perusal of the gifts on the table. “I want someone to stand up with me who knows me and Jason, who supported us from the beginning and didn’t let us screw it up. That would be you, Carly.”

She scowled. “How is this our life, Muffin? A year ago, I would have cheerfully set you on fire, and now we’re decorating nurseries, being the godmother to each other’s kids, and now you want me be to be your matron of honor…” Her scowl deepened. “And I’m excited to say yes, I mean what the frick happened to me? I used to be hell on wheels, and now I’m this sappy bitch who…” She waved her hand. “Likes people.”

Elizabeth snorted, and examined a gift which had no note. “Calm down, Carly. I’m not particularly thrilled either, but you know, as you always tell me, we are where we are. Might as well suck it up and enjoy.” She grinned. “And you know it’ll drive Sonny and Jason crazy if we keep getting along. They’re both waiting for you to change your mind.”

“There is that,” Carly mused. “It keeps them on their toes. We have to stage some fights though. I don’t want them thinking we’re predictable.”

“That would take the spice out of life.” They both laughed as Elizabeth lifted the rather large box up.

“Who’s that from?”

“It’s not marked, but…” she frowned. “Francis said they swept all the gifts. No explosives or anything.” She hesitantly set it back on the table and began to unwrap it. When the paper was gone, there sat a large white box. She lifted the top and removed a bottle of champagne.

“Hey, that’s an expensive label.” Carly reached for the bottle, and Elizabeth handed it to her as she reached for a beautifully knitted white blanket. A note fell from the folds. Elizabeth leaned it down to pick it up and read the blood red words out loud.

Congratulations on the baby, Princess. I’m sure you and your fiancé are simply thrilled. Have a drink on me and don’t worry—I’ll see you soon.

Love,

Faith

THE END

---

Author’s Note

I want to thank everyone’s who read this story over the last month. Writing this convinced me that I could still write for the show, for Jason/Elizabeth in  way that writing Shadows didn’t. I wasn’t sure I had it in me to write long novels, anymore. Thanks for sticking by me through the angst and difficulties.

I’ve contemplated reposting the older version of Poisonous Dreams for people to see how far I took this version, but I’m not sure I want anyone to know how bad it used to be. I think that rewriting PD was the best decision I’ve made in my fanfiction career — this version is better written with a more solid plot and deeper characterizations, and writing the sequel, Burn in Heaven, will be easier when I get a chance to play with it a bit later this summer.

I also want to thank everyone who comes to this site, and keeps the stats up so much. I average between 500-1000 visitors a day, which I never expected when I started to move stories over. In fact, I wasn’t sure I would go back to writing when I started to move CG to this location. You guys made all the difference, and any writing I do from now on is always going to be dedicated you.

I hope you like my next efforts half as well 🙂

<3

Melissa (LissieLove)

---

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
– Fix You, Coldplay

Thursday, February 5, 2004

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

When Max told him Courtney was outside, Sonny sent Jason upstairs to sit with Cady. He thought Courtney might be more forthcoming without the glare of her ex-boyfriend.

In the hour between giving the order to have her brought here and her arrival, there was very little information. Freddy DiGarno had lit out of his apartment, probably having been warned by his cousin that his connection to the matter was going to be found. Dominic had disappeared. Stan and Spinelli had traced the SUV for half a mile before losing it.

And Elizabeth was now missing for almost five hours.

“Sonny?” Courtney entered the room, hesitantly. He looked at this woman whom genetics told him was his sister. He’d never felt particularly connected to her, but had done what he could to assist her as far as she would allow it. Duty and obligations told him that family should be cared for, but he’d never felt as though she were really part of his family.

And maybe she had sensed it, had sensed that Sonny felt far more fraternal towards the woman who had supplanted her. Elizabeth was now Carly’s closest confidante, though neither woman would have admitted that. Rather than becoming Morgan’s godmother as Carly and Courtney had once discussed, it was Elizabeth who would receive that honor. Emily had stopped talking to Courtney, turning back to Elizabeth. Even Jason had realized where his heart truly lay.

And Elizabeth had been more of a sister to him than the woman standing in front of him.

She looked at him, her eyes wide with confusion and apprehension. And he knew that Emily’s suspicions had been correct.

“Elizabeth was kidnapped a few hours ago,” Sonny said after a long moment.

Courtney blinked and stepped back. “But…why? Where’s the baby?” She looked around. “Is Jason’s daughter okay?”

“Why?” Sonny asked, wishing he could indulge in a Scotch or a bourbon. “Do you really care?”

“Of course…” Courtney swallowed. “Sonny, of course I care. We dated. He was good to me, until…” She shrugged. “But it’s water under the bridge. Why…why are you telling me this…?”

“You didn’t harass Elizabeth at Kelly’s earlier this week?” Sonny demanded. “You haven’t been nasty to her every single time you came across her from the moment Ric Lansing told you she was having Jason’s child?”

“I…tried to be okay with it,” she said softly. “Elizabeth will tell you that I was the only person who didn’t say anything to her. But…” She hesitated. “She started showing, you know. And I realized how true it all was. I think…maybe I could let myself forget. He wasn’t around her, and I thought if I played it cool, he’d remember why he’d left her and come back to me.”

“But it never happened.” Sonny gave in and poured water, just to have the weight of the glass in his hand. He’d allow Courtney to explain herself, if only to make the point that her actions were inexcusable. “Did it?”

“No.” Courtney looked at the floor. “She moved in with him. And I think they started seeing each other again, but I couldn’t be sure. It just…got to be too much, Sonny. She had trapped him. She knew how he felt about children, and she got pregnant on purpose—”

“He loved her long before you came in the picture, Courtney,” Sonny said, almost quietly, wishing he’d said something ages ago, hadn’t ever asked Jason to look after his sister. “Whatever else, I am sorry I couldn’t keep you from being hurt.”

“Well…” She shifted, uncomfortably. “Why…are you even bringing this up? Shouldn’t you be looking for her? Trying to figure out what happened?”

“And what,” Sonny said, slowly approaching her, “do you think I’m doing?”

Courtney’s eyes widened and she looked behind her, where Max was stationed almost as a sentinel. “S-Sonny, you can’t think I…” Her eyes widened. “What do you think I did?”

“I think that you manipulated Emily Quartermaine into talking about Elizabeth, hoping to get something that could be of use,” Sonny said. “And boy, you got something good. You found a hole in Elizabeth’s security.”

“No. I don’t…” But her eyes darted away.

“And you told someone. Someone who tried to kidnap her, while she was seven months pregnant.” He took another step towards her. “Who’d you tell, Courtney? Who did you tell?”

“Sonny, you just…you don’t understand.” Courtney licked her lips. “I just…I wanted her to go away. If she would go away, like she did after she left Jason—she left town for a few weeks, and Jason looked at me. He loved me. But she trapped him. I don’t know how she did it, but she was going to keep trapping him. It wasn’t even his kid, but she suckered him in. I had to stop it.”

Sonny closed his eyes. Another person trying to protect Jason from Elizabeth had put her in danger. Emily had tried to protect him, and had set Ric loose. And now Courtney had done the same.

All these people who thought a woman who measured barely more than five feet three inches and a hundred pounds soaking wet represented something dangerous to a lethal mob enforcer. If it wasn’t so horrible, it might almost be funny.

“You wanted her gone so Jason would look at you again,” Sonny said, his voice flat. “Don’t pretend anything else. You knew he loved her, and you could ignore it when he wasn’t acting on it. But he let you walk away and stayed with her.” He clenched his hand around the glass in his hand. “Who did you tell?”

“I didn’t want Elizabeth to be hurt,” Courtney said quickly. “But she was stealing my life, Sonny. She had Jason and Carly and she always had you. And then Emily, too. Even Bobbie keeps asking me to be a better waitress, to be more like Elizabeth.” A tear slid down her cheek, and she pressed a hand to her chest, much the way he often did. “Don’t you see, Sonny? Everyone had looked at me and found me wanting. I wasn’t their perfect, precious Elizabeth.”

“Such a shame,” Sonny snarled. “Who did you tell, Courtney?”

“So…when I was walking home from work one night…in August…” Courtney cleared her throat. “A woman approached me. I didn’t…recognize her at first, but I knew her voice. She stepped out from the shadows, and I saw it was Faith Roscoe.” She was twisting her fingers together. “I was going to run, but she told me not to worry.” And now her voice was bitter. “I wasn’t important enough to go after. I didn’t matter to anyone.”

Faith Roscoe had seen the bitter wound in Courtney’s soul and exploited it. Sonny closed his eyes, because he could have done more to avoid this. He knew that the fault ultimately lay with Courtney, but he could not ignore his role. “That wasn’t true—”

“Don’t placate me, Sonny,” Courtney hissed. “She was right. She told me I didn’t matter enough, that hurting me wouldn’t make a point, except to say she could. So she asked me if I wanted to matter.”

“And you did.” Sonny walked away from his sister, then, because here was the proof that they were related. They may look as different as night and day, but under the surface, he and his sister were the same. They wanted to matter. They saw something they wanted and went after it, damn the consequences.

“She told me she could get Elizabeth out of Jason’s life. That she knew the baby wasn’t his, that Elizabeth was lying to Ric. I knew it. He was with her because he felt sorry for her,” Courtney spat. “Because Ric went after her because of Jason. I knew he didn’t love her. So I thought I could get Elizabeth and the baby away from him, that he’d see the truth. He’d know Elizabeth was trying to trap him.”

He exhaled slowly and turned. “Courtney…he always knew Cady wasn’t his biological daughter. It was Jason’s idea to claim her, because he wanted to protect Elizabeth and the baby. Because he did love her.”

“No, no…” Courtney shook her head. “If he was just trying to protect Elizabeth, he would have told me. He wouldn’t have let me think he cheated on me. He could have told me—”

“He didn’t trust you,” Sonny interrupted. “He didn’t even tell Carly or me the truth right away. Only…you believed it. Because you knew, deep down, that he loved her. That he didn’t love you. So you justified it by telling yourself Jason was the victim. You justified turning Elizabeth over to a man who you knew was dangerous because you wanted Jason for yourself.”

“You’re not understanding.” Courtney took a step forward. “I told Faith I would help her, but I didn’t want Elizabeth to be hurt. I just wanted her gone. And Faith said she didn’t particularly care what happened to Elizabeth, but she doubted Ric would hurt her. Not until after the baby was here. And maybe not even then.”

“Did she seem annoyed by that?” Sonny asked. “As if it was more his plan than hers?”

“I…” Courtney hesitated. “I guess. She didn’t like Elizabeth, I don’t think. But no, I didn’t think she was happy about it. But it didn’t matter. Elizabeth would be away from Jason. And…that was enough for me. So she gave me a number.”

“Do you have it?”

“I…” Courtney nodded. “Yeah. It’s in my phone.” She lifted her purse and Max took it from her.

“And you called her about what Emily had told you.” His sister reluctantly nodded. Sonny frowned. “Anything else?”

Courtney paused. “I told her about the guard shifts. Who was on them, who I had seen her around. I didn’t remember everyone’s names, but Dominic guarded me a little bit when Jason couldn’t during the stalking. And I knew Francis, Marco. Cody.”

“What else?” Sonny pressed.

“I…didn’t know much else,” she admitted. “Elizabeth and I weren’t working together anymore. I said she was close with you and Carly. That she was on the outs with her best friend.” She shrugged. “I don’t know anything about this new kidnapping, Sonny. I mean, she contacted me around Christmas, and I told her the baby had been born, but I didn’t know anything else. Emily wasn’t talking to me, hadn’t really been since the kidnapping…” She nodded. “Emily realized that I was involved.”

“She protected you longer than she should have,” Sonny said, his back to his sister, unable to look her in the face. “Because she didn’t want to see it.”

“Sonny, I—”

He turned to her. “I didn’t want Jason here when we had this meeting because I wasn’t sure what would happen if he looked at you and realized you were responsible for what happened to the woman he loved, for putting his daughter in danger—”

“She’s not his daughter,” Courtney snarled.

“She’s his daughter in every way that actually matters,” Sonny said, almost patiently. “You know what happened the last time I told Jason he couldn’t deal with one of my half-siblings the way he wanted to. Ten months later, we’re still trying to find the sick bastard. So…I wasn’t sure what would happen when he came face to face with another sibling of mine who had betrayed his family.”

And now, for the first time, Courtney looked nervous. Her fingers played the strap of the purse Max had returned to her after fishing out her phone and taking it to Jason’s penthouse where Stan, Spinelli and Benny were working.

“Sonny…I didn’t want her to be hurt—”

“I’m not sure that’s going to matter if Jason doesn’t find her.” Sonny set the water on the mini bar. “Do you think he’s going to care that this time you weren’t personally involved? Do you know who kidnapped Elizabeth? Who shot her other guard? Who pressed chloroform to her mouth until she passed out and then dragged her away?” He paused. “Dominic. One of the guards whose name you turned over. He turned on Elizabeth, after eight months of protecting her. So, what do you think I should do to you Courtney?”

“I’m your…I’m your sister,” Courtney said, her voice trembling. “It…you can’t.”

“Can’t I?”

“No, you can’t.”

They both turned to see Jason step around the corner, clearly having been standing there for some time. As he stepped down the stairs, Courtney backed up until she was practically against the closed penthouse door. “J-Jason.”

He stopped near the sofa and just stared at his ex-girlfriend. “I started this,” he said slowly. “Because I began a relationship with you when I knew I didn’t care about you the way you wanted me to. I continued to let you believe we had a future, when the truth was I didn’t give a damn about the future anymore.”

Sonny watched his sister swallow, because it was one thing for other people to tell her these things, but even he felt a little sorry for the harsh truths Jason wasn’t holding back.

“I was already trying to figure out how to break it off without making things worse for you, for me…for Sonny.” Jason cast a glance toward him, but Sonny just shrugged. “I don’t know if I thought I could have a chance with Elizabeth again, but being with you wasn’t helping. It wasn’t making me miss or love her less. So I was looking for a way out.”

“And you found it,” Courtney said tightly. “Sonny told me you always knew the baby wasn’t yours.”

“Because I didn’t sleep with Elizabeth.” Jason hesitated, and apparently deciding to channel the Jason of old, he continued, “but if I thought I had the chance to, I might have.”

Courtney’s mouth tightened. “I’m sorry, what’s the point of this?”

“I didn’t tell you the truth about the baby,” Jason said, as if she hadn’t spoken. “But you should know Elizabeth wanted me to tell you. She knew you would be angry about it, that you might not forgive a lie, but I didn’t care. Because I think, even then, I knew I couldn’t trust you. There was no way I was potentially placing Elizabeth’s life and her child’s in your hands.”

Courtney lifted her chin. “Then you should have killed Ric when you had the chance and none of this would have happened.”

“I’m sorry for hurting you,” Jason said, again ignoring her. “But that’s where the guilt stops. Because I didn’t force you to continue holding onto the anger. I never gave you an indication once you broke up with me that I wanted to have anything to do with you. I didn’t lead you on after that. Elizabeth never did anything to you that you didn’t deserve. You crossed a line, Courtney, when you agreed to help Faith Roscoe. When you gave information that placed Elizabeth and my daughter in danger, when you turned over the names of the men guarding Elizabeth. If you were anyone else, I wouldn’t wait for Sonny to give me permission, you’d already be dead.”

The blonde swallowed. “S-Sonny…Mike would never forgive you.”

“Why should he have to know anything?” Sonny said, taunting her. “We can have you leave a message on his machine. You’re leaving town, you’ll be in touch. We can even send him letters that eventually fade away. You and Mike didn’t know each other for most of your life, who would be surprised if you fell out touch?”

A muscle leaped in Courtney’s throat and she swallowed. “I—”

“You wanted to play in this world, Courtney,” Jason said, his voice devoid of emotion. “You made that clear when you told Faith about the security hole, about Dominic.” His eyes hardened. “The birth of my daughter. You put yourself in this world, why are you surprised Sonny and I might treat you accordingly?”

And for a moment, Sonny believed Jason meant it. And if he did, then Sonny would let him. It was his fault this was happening. It was his family, his blood, that threatened everything that mattered the most to Jason.

“It’s up to you, Jase,” Sonny said. He looked at his friend to make sure he understood that he really meant it. “It’s your family in danger. It’s your fiancée missing.”

“F-fiancée?” Courtney blinked. “I…” She squared her shoulders. “Emily knows I’m involved. If I disappear, she’ll know.”

“I don’t think she’d argue about it,” Sonny retorted. “She came to us. Not the police. She knew what we would do.”

“Ending your life won’t bring me Elizabeth,” Jason said after a long moment. “It won’t tell me where she is, if Ric is hurting her. It would just make me feel better, and it’s not enough right now. So I’m going to do what Elizabeth would want.”

Courtney blanched, probably because the bitch knew what she would do if the situations were reversed.

“I’m going to let you live, but you’re going to go away, Courtney.” Jason stepped towards her, his hands fisted at his sides. “I think sending you to live in Puerto Rico with constant guards is almost too kind, but it’s what I can live with. Maybe after five years of living under constant guard, of never having the freedom of movement, you might understand…just a little…the kind of stress Elizabeth lived under while she was pregnant.” He stepped back. “Is that acceptable to you, Sonny?”

“Little nicer than I had anticipated,” Sonny said after a moment, “but it’s something I can live with, too.” He nodded to Max. “Please take Ms. Matthews to the apartment directly under us. Keep her under guard until I say differently.”

Warehouse

When Elizabeth finally opened her eyes, she tried to move. Her arms were twisted behind her, tied to a chair. She blinked, blearily, saw that her legs were also lashed to the bottom rungs. “W-What?”

“I’d like to untie you, Beautiful,” came the silky soft voice she’d only heard in her nightmares these last few months. Ric Lansing bled out of the shadows, stepping in front of her for the first time since that awful day on the docks when Jason had almost killed him.

“O-Okay…” Elizabeth cleared her throat, and coughed. It was too dry. “Why d-don’t you?”

He lifted a bottle of water from a nearby table and held it out to her. “You can see I haven’t removed the cap. It’s not drugged.” When she nodded, he twisted the cap off and then held it to her lips. At the brush of his skin against hers, she almost twisted away. Instead, she drank thirstily, wetting her throat.

“Why…”

“I can’t untie you,” he said. He stepped back and leaned against the table. “Because I’m not sure you won’t leave.”

She hesitated. “Why did you kidnap me?” she asked. “How…does this help you against Sonny?”

“I’m not as interested in Sonny anymore.” Ric shrugged. “Faith still wants to take him down, and I suppose if I can, I will. But you know…that’s all changed.” He stepped towards her, and she saw that smile on his face, the one that she’d once found so attractive.

She pressed her lips together, refusing to ask him why again.

“You changed it for me,” Ric told her. He crouched in front of her, and she felt nauseous at the soft look in his eyes. “When I found out you were pregnant…I was so angry that you were trying to take our child away from me. Like my father did with my mother. I scared you, and I shouldn’t have. I should have understood that you were upset, that you realized our relationship was less honest than you believed.”

“I just…I want to go home to my daughter,” Elizabeth said softly. “Let me go home to my daughter, Ric.”

“I never knew my mother,” Ric continued. “Because of Sonny. I wouldn’t take you away from our daughter, Elizabeth. I know what it’s like when a child grows up without both parents. I wouldn’t do that.”

Her chest was tight, because she was starting to understand. “Do you think…”

“It’s true that I initially targeted you because of Sonny and Jason,” Ric admitted, almost sheepishly. “And by now, you realize that I was having an affair with Faith while we were seeing one another.”

Her eyes were gritty and burning, but she couldn’t close them. Couldn’t let him think she was weak. That’s why he thought this would work. He believed her to be weak, that she might give in, let her daughter near him.

He could kill her for all she cared, her daughter was safe. Jason would raise her, he would protect her.

“I should have broken things off with you as soon as I realized Jason Morgan didn’t give a damn about you.” Ric stood and started to pace. “But I couldn’t. You…you’re so beautiful, Elizabeth. Inside and out. I wanted you to love me.”

“Sleeping with Faith Roscoe seems like an odd way to make that happen,” she bit out. “Or telling Jason and Sonny that screwing me was useless but oh, so much fun.”

“I…I had to keep face with them, Elizabeth. They couldn’t see what you mean to me.” He pressed a hand to his chest, and in her bleary vision, her exhaustion, she almost thought he looked like Sonny with the motion. “If they knew, they’d know they could use you against me.”

“Funny…” Her throat was thick. “You never thought that was Jason’s reason. You wanted me to believe he didn’t care about me then, and that he doesn’t care now.”

“He wanted our daughter, Elizabeth,” Ric said, still using that careful, charming tone. “I know how he feels about kids, and he saw you as a way to have a child. And bonus, he could get rid of me. Elizabeth, if he really loved you, he would have done something about it before you needed protection.”

“Do you think you can really convince me to leave Jason, to bring my daughter to you…so we can…” Elizabeth blinked, shook her head. “So we can raise her together? What…what can you possibly be thinking?”

“We could be a family. You, me…Adela.” Ric paused. “I want us to be a family.”

“Her name is not Adela. Her name is Cadence Audrey Caroline Morgan, and she is not your daughter. Not in any way that matters.” She struggled with the bonds around her wrists. “And I don’t care if you kill me, you will never come close to being in her life.”

His eyes narrowed, but he took a deep breath. “You’ve had a rough year, Elizabeth. I understand. That’s why we connected so well. I understood how hurt you were. I tried to show you that Jason won’t change. All those business problems, he was never home again. I know he never went to the doctor’s appointments, that he never took you out anywhere. He doesn’t love you the way I do. I would give you the finest things—”

“You don’t know a thing about me, Ric. You never did.” She shifted in her chair. “Jason will protect our daughter from you, and if you take him out, Sonny and Carly will protect her. And if by some impossible means you get past all of them, well then I hope you’re ready for Edward Quartermaine, because he’ll set the world on fire before he lets another great-grandchild out of his clutches. I will never let my child know you.”

“Our child,” Ric said, his teeth clenched. “She’s my daughter, Elizabeth. I named her for my mother—”

“We will never be a family,” Elizabeth snarled.

Faith Roscoe bled out of the shadows, a perturbed look on her face. “You know…I have had nearly enough of this.”

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

Seven hours.

Courtney had been taken to a secure location, but her information had offered them nothing substantial, only an explanation for October’s attempt. They’d lost the car with Elizabeth inside after almost a mile, but Jason knew Stan and Spinelli hadn’t given up on that angle. None of them knew anything about the location of Freddy or Dominic, no sign of Ric or Faith.

The only reason Jason hadn’t crawled completely out of his skin was that he now believed Elizabeth had been part of Ric’s plan all along. He thought…he might not hurt her. Not this soon. Maybe eventually after she made it clear his plans weren’t going to work. But not seven hours after finally getting his hands on her.

The door pushed open and Sonny strode in, Max dragging someone behind him. “Look who came straight to us,” his friend all but snarled. He yanked his coat off and tossed it on the sofa.

Jason shot to his feet. Freddy DiGarno, cousin to Dominic and the man on the inside at the warehouse. The man was short, stocky and brunette. His dark eyes were bulging as Max kept one clamped around his neck, never letting the man stand fully on his own weight.

“He came to us?” Jason said, his hands fisting at the sight of one of the men responsible for the last seven hours of his life. For the last ten months. “Is he stupid?”

“Not so much.” Sonny gave Max a signal, and the guard released Freddy. The other man collapsed to the ground, gasping for air. “He came to Benny. Hoping Benny might help him. Put in a good word.”

“Good word?” Jason growled. He strode forward, not entirely sure what he might do if he reached the piece of shit. “You worked with Faith Roscoe—”

“I just want to die quick!” Freddy scrambled to his feet and held his hands up in front of his face. “You was going to find me, I knew it. Dom left me high and dry. I don’t know nothin’ about disappearin’ and I tried to get out of town, but I saw the men near the highway ramp and the docks, and the airports, the train station, the bus depot. There’s no way out.”

“You got that right.” Jason took another step, but Sonny held up his hand.

“All in good time. Freddy here knows about a warehouse. And more importantly, he knows why Dominic picked today.”

Jason huffed. “I don’t care why today—I want the warehouse.” He advanced again and Freddy actually hid behind Max for protection. How had they allowed this miscreant into their organization in the first place…

“It seems Spinelli was on the right track with those numbered accounts,” Sonny said, and Jason knew he was trying to keep them both calm. To keep this situation under control. They had their break, now they had to take advantage of everything this man knew so that Ric and Faith couldn’t catch them unaware. “He not only found Freddy’s account, but he was getting pretty close to Dominic’s. And once you found both of them, he knew he’d lose his chance to grab Elizabeth.”

“So he contacted Ric or Faith to tell them to move up their plan.” Jason’s eyes snapped back to the traitor. “What was the original timeline? How much longer were they gonna wait?”

“I d-don’t know for sure,” Freddy replied. “Maybe a few more weeks, but Faith Roscoe was gettin’ impatient. Talkin’ about cuttin’ her losses, you know. And how much she hated the…” He swallowed hard. “She’s not real fond of your…um…well…she’s not fond of her.”

They’d been right. Faith had been playing along with the plan, but it had been drawn out too long and it was clear now to Faith that Ric was using her to get Elizabeth as well. A pissed off Faith Roscoe was not something either of them should underestimate. “So your covers were almost blown.” Jason nodded. “I want the warehouse address. How many men?”

“Maybe half a dozen,” Freddy all but whimpered. “Faith don’t have the resources to keep anyone around for long, and Lansing kept refusing to use his own money, it would draw attention.” He reeled off an address. “I just…I don’t wanna suffer.”

Sonny raised his eyebrows and looked at Jason. “Well, Jase, it’s your woman he helped to kidnap. Your daughter he placed in danger. You get to decide what happens to him. I’ll get the men together in the garage and work up a plan.” He left the penthouse, leaving Freddy alone with Max and Jason.

Part of him wanted to snap this man’s neck like twig right here and now, but every second spent dealing with him was one more Elizabeth was alone with Ric. He looked at the little dirtbag. “If you were Dominic, the man I entrusted with her safety for eight months, depended on to keep her safe…if you were the man who shot Cody, and drugged Elizabeth as she kicked and screamed to get away, then I’d make you suffer. Personally. For hours.”

He stepped closer, saw the man’s eyes nearly roll back in his head. “Maybe even days. But you’re nothing to Dominic, Ric or Faith. They left you holding the bag, and for that, I’m not going to do a thing.” He saw Max and Freddy jolt in surprise. He continued, “Not because you deserve mercy, but because I don’t want to waste any more time.”

He looked at Max. “Make him disappear. How and where is up to you.”

When Max had dragged the traitor out, Jason started up the stairs to check on his daughter before joining Sonny in the garage.

Warehouse

Ric stepped back and cleared his throat. “Faith…you were supposed to be arranging our exit.”

Elizabeth’s darted between the two co-conspirators, and her lips curved. “Oh, you mean Faith doesn’t know your master plan? About dragging me here to convince me we should be a family.” She clucked her tongue. “Not very up front of you, Ric, after everything Faith has done to help you.”

Ric blanched, but Faith smirked and raised one slim brow. “I completely agree, Princess. Not sporting at all.” Dismissing her then, Faith turned to look at her captor. “We had a plan once, Ric. You were going to go after the women. Gain their trust. You went after Morgan’s waif, but he didn’t seem to care. You got messy with Corinthos’ wife and the Families, but you told me you had an endgame that they’d never see coming.”

She picked her away across the room, her stiletto heels clicking across the cement floor as she drew closer to Ric. “You told me you wanted your child because it would screw with Corinthos and Morgan. Because they’d be distracted looking for the waif, and we could take them apart.”

“Faith,” Ric began, switching the charm to the blonde. Elizabeth rolled her eyes. He had just one shtick.

“But every time it didn’t work that way, I questioned you.” She planted her hands on her hips, the black coat, parting to reveal an equally black dress underneath. “I questioned whether you wanted to bring down Sonny, because all you could talk about was the little bastard you’d sired.” From an inside pocket of her coat, she withdrew a gun.

Elizabeth straightened in her chair, and now even Ric looked wary. “Listen, I know we’ve had some setbacks—”

“You used me, Ric.” Faith tilted her head to the side and pursed her lips. “And I don’t like being used.” She tapped the blood red tip of a nail against the silver metal of the gun. “What should I do about that?”

Elizabeth remained silent, understanding that her future rested on what Faith did next. She could eliminate them both if she wanted to. Instead, Faith just smiled.

“I think…I’m going to take my men and leave,” she murmured. She stepped back but now trained the gun on Ric. “I’m going to leave you with your delicate little princess, because after all, you think you can convince her to leave that strapping Jason Morgan and bring her kid to you. Isn’t that why she’s here?” Faith’s eyes positively danced with amusement. “So you can use that legendary charm to sweep her off her feet again?”

Her eyes hardened. “You should know, Ric, your charm only works once. We believe you once. And then we never believe you again. Because once you see through that smile, you understand what’s beneath it…nothing at all.”

“Faith, you don’t understand what’s happening,” Ric began.

“I think it’s you who doesn’t understand. Goodbye, Ric.” Faith cast her eyes towards Elizabeth. “Good luck with your waif, but somehow, I just don’t see the two of you lasting.”

She waited one more second and then turned and left.

Ric turned his eyes back to Elizabeth, and in them, she saw the truth. Without Faith’s men to back him up, he didn’t have a prayer of going against Sonny and Jason.

Which meant she was a liability.

Corinthos Penthouse: Morgan’s Nursery

Carly had set Cady up in a portable crib in a corner of Morgan’s room. Jason stepped through the doorway and gently lifted his sleeping daughter into his arms. She fussed and made a few sounds, but he arranged her against his chest and pressed his cheek to her head.

“Sorry, Cady,” he murmured. “I didn’t want to wake you, but I wasn’t sure…” He swallowed. “I’m going to get your mother, and I promise you, if it’s the last thing I do, I’m going to bring her home to you.”

Cady batted her fist against his t-shirt, and his chest tightened. “I might…not come home, though. But you should know that I love you. I loved you long before you were born, before I could admit it to anyone. You were always mine, no matter what anyone says.”

He breathed in her scent one last time, kissed her on the forehead and put her back in the crib.

I never thought I’d end up here
Never thought I’d be standing where I am
I guess I kinda thought it would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong now one more time
– Sick, Cycle Carousel, Lifehouse

Thursday, February 5, 2004

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Later, Jason would recognize that the general feeling of discomfort and wrongness felt different than the tension that had existed for the last ten months. But until Carly knocked on the door just past five, he didn’t associate the prickling in the back of his brain with anything serious.

After all, the threat was to Cady, and now that she’d been born, they reasoned Elizabeth herself was relatively safe with the usual cadre of double guards. So she had left that morning with Francis and Oliver, her morning guards, to sign some paperwork for the nursing program, see her grandmother and bring new photos of Cady to Monica. Her plans for the rest of the day were relatively loose, but he knew she was planning to grab coffee with Carly at some point before coming home to dinner with him and Cady.

And Cady was snug and safe in the penthouse, sleeping in the bassinet beside the desk where he looked through Spinelli’s newest reports on the casinos in Puerto Rico, the background checks for the guards working in the warehouse when the shipments were going wrong, and other security matters. There was nothing new from Ric, other than the Port Charles postmarked envelope from the day before, but Sonny had put all their men back into the search, confident that any business troubles were coming from Ric and Faith.

It was a day like many that had passed in the last two months, but later, Jason would blame himself for underestimating Ric Lansing.

Carly knocked and pushed open the door with a frown. “Jase, where’s Cody?” She stepped inside and glanced around.

Jason glanced up and returned her frown with one of her own. “He’s…with Elizabeth. She…” He pushed back from the desk and stood, instinctively checking on Cady before looking back at his best friend. “She was meeting you for coffee at Kelly’s.”

“Yeah.” Carly nodded. “And I waited at Kelly’s for a half hour. We were supposed to meet at four-thirty, after she had lunch with Audrey and Monica and finished her paperwork. I think there was even going to be a tour of the hospital or something. But…she never showed. I called her cell phone, but she didn’t answer. I called Nadine at the hospital—she left there around one-thirty.” She hesitated. “Jason…I would have called her guards, but…” she trailed off as Jason reached for his own phone.

Neither Cody nor Dominic answered their phones, and their shift ran from two until ten, at which point Marco and Ricky usually took over. The penthouse itself was guarded twenty-four hours a day. He remained calm because a hundred things could have happened that weren’t serious, but he could not think of one that would entail Elizabeth and her guards not showing up where they were supposed to while not answering their phones.

Next, he called Francis, who had responsibility for Elizabeth from six in the morning until two in the afternoon. Francis picked up on the first ring.

“Francis, do you and Oliver have Elizabeth?”

“Ah…no, Jase. We brought her to the Towers around two. She finished lunch. We met Cody and Dom in the parking garage. She was going to come upstairs, spend some time with Cady before meeting Carly.” Francis paused. “She should have been home hours ago.”

“I’ve been here all day. She never came in. I need…” Jason closed his eyes and forced himself to sound calmer than he felt. “I need you to get…everyone. Find her.” He set his phone on the desk, leaned against it and took a quick bracing breath.

“Jason…” Carly touched his shoulder. “You’ll find her. Maybe their car—”

“She came to the building three hours ago, Carly. She never made it up from the parking garage.” He straightened and reached for his phone, dialing Spinelli’s number.

“Spinelli, don’t talk, I don’t have time. I need you and Stan to get to the security room of the Towers. I want all the footage for the parking garage, the lobby and the penthouse elevators for the entire day, anything else you might think is relevant. Bring it to Sonny’s. And I need it immediately.” He hit end on that call and placed another one to the security room to let them know the techs were on their way.

“Carly, I need you to go to the kitchen, get the bottles Elizabeth prepared and then get whatever you think Cady need for a few hours. I need…” Focus. He just….he had to focus. “I need you to take her to your place, upstairs, with Morgan and Michael.”

“Right.” Carly nodded. “He took Elizabeth so he could draw your focus from Cady.”

“That’s probably the plan.” Jason nodded. “So I’m not letting it happen. I’m putting my daughter in the safest place in the building, and giving her care to you, because I know you’ll protect her.”

“Absolutely. Go to Sonny’s, Jason. I’ll pack Cady up and bring her over here. Rocco’s right outside, he won’t let anyone come near the penthouse until we get there.”

Jason nodded and numbly moved towards the door. He’d thought Elizabeth was safe now that she had delivered the baby—safe enough. They had all shifted their focus to protecting Cady.

And even though Elizabeth had had two guards at all times, had been in the building…she hadn’t been safe from the traitor in their organization—one of the men who had been protecting her for almost a year.

When he discovered who had taken her from her daughter, from him, there would be nowhere for the bastard to hide.

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

Emily glanced up from a chart to find Nadine staring into space, her phone in her hand. “Hey…” She cleared her throat, as the two of them were struggling to get along for Elizabeth’s sake. She liked the other woman, she did—but it was just difficult to see past everything that had happened. “You look…upset.”

“I…” Nadine hesitated. “Carly called me a little while ago. She and Elizabeth were supposed to meet for coffee.”

And Emily froze, because she somehow knew what was coming next. “She’s missing, isn’t she?”

“Yeah.” Nadine swallowed. “At first, I just…I thought their wires got crossed. You know, Liz thought she’d be at the hospital longer today, but she finished everything this morning, and you know, she had lunch, so she went home to be with the baby and Jason. Maybe she just forgot about Carly. But I’ve been calling her. And calling her. And calling her. There’s no answer.”

Accustomed to the ramblings by this point, Emily waited for her to finish. “M-Maybe she…forgot her phone somewhere.” They shared a look, because neither of them thought was a logical possibility. Elizabeth was married to her cell phone, for security reasons and for her daughter.

“I just…” Nadine closed her eyes. “I called Jason, finally. Elizabeth gave me his number after…October, after the kidnapping, because she wanted me to get in touch with him if I thought…anyone was going to come after me for helping. So I called him.” The pupils of the nurse’s eyes were so dilated with fear that the blue had been nearly eclipsed by the black. “And Jason told me that she’s been missing since two. He hung up because…he’s doing other things.”

Emily closed her eyes and took a step back. After October, and the kidnapping, she had put all thoughts of Courtney out of her head. Courtney had been normal then, they’d shared meals and coffee and the blonde seemed to be slowly recovering. Until Cady was born. And the anger had seeped back in.

Had Courtney been angry because she’d thought she’d never have to see the baby? See Elizabeth again after that day?

I’m not going to sit around and wallow anymore. I’m going to start being true to myself again.

Had Emily read her words wrong? What did Courtney mean by being true to herself? Had…she meant something more? Had…she lured Emily into discussing Elizabeth, latching on a way to expose Elizabeth to danger?

“Emily…” Nadine leaned forward. “Do…do you know something?”

“I don’t want to,” Emily admitted. “I…think Jason’s ex-girlfriend…might have been involved with the kidnapping in October. Because…she and I had had a conversation several weeks earlier. I…was telling her I wanted to fix things, that I wanted to apologize, but with her health, I couldn’t…just go see her. And…I told her…” Her breathing became more rapid. “Nadine, I told Courtney that Elizabeth didn’t always have guards in the hospital. That they were on the exits near Kelly’s office, but not with her. Nadine, I didn’t…think…”

“Why would you?” Nadine said softly. “She was Elizabeth’s friend once. She was your friend. She’s Sonny’s sister, Carly’s friend. Why would you ever suspect her of doing something that might put Elizabeth in danger? I was with Elizabeth some of the times Courtney was nasty. I just thought she was bitter.” She took a deep breath. “But, yeah, Em, it sounds like she might…have maybe told someone else. I mean, who else would know that information except people who worked here? And who was paying attention to Elizabeth?”

“Except me, because I…” Emily felt dizzy. She’d done it again. She’d exposed her best friend in the world to danger. The love of her brother’s life was missing and it was Emily’s fault. “I did it again. Oh, my God. Nadine, I did it again.”

Nadine came out from behind the desk and gently led Emily over to the waiting area. “Sit for a second. We just…need to figure this out. What did you do again?”

“I told Ric Lansing Elizabeth was pregnant. I mean…not straight out, but I was hinting it pretty heavily.” Emily grabbed Nadine’s forearm. “Not to be vindictive. I thought…he was the father, and she didn’t tell me the things he’d done. I just…I wanted to help her. I thought…I knew better. I wanted to help her, Nadine. And instead, she couldn’t hide it from him. She had to…” And then Emily closed her mouth. Because she’d almost let the secret out.

Nadine smiled wryly. “She had to accept Jason’s help. Because Jason claiming the baby seemed like good sense at the time, but Ric told everyone and blew the situation up.” She placed her opposite hand on Emily’s and squeezed it. “Em, Elizabeth glossed over a lot of details this summer, and I figured it wouldn’t do her any good that I knew, but I…did. Of course, I did. It’s okay. I even believe you honestly thought you were helping.”

“I…” Emily swallowed. “I never would have put her in danger. Not for a second. No matter how angry I was, I loved her. And then I told Courtney how to get to her in the hospital.”

“Jason and his partner need to know if she had anything to do with it,” Nadine pointed out. “It may have been a coincidence but if it wasn’t, then they need to know. They’re looking for a traitor, that much was clear from things I overheard this summer. I’ll tell your resident that you had to go home, that you were ill. You need to go help find Elizabeth.”

“You’re right.” Emily nodded. “And…I’m glad Elizabeth had you. That she still has you. She really needed you, you know, because I was a selfish bitch.” She rose to her feet and Nadine followed suit.

“You were,” Nadine acknowledged. “But you’re not now. Go before someone catches you not being sick.”

 

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

The situation didn’t get better once they had the security footage. Stan and Spinelli had worked together to find the events as fast as possible—so within twenty minutes, they knew how someone had grabbed Elizabeth.

Jason watched as Francis, Oliver and Elizabeth greeted Cody and Dominic. There was some small talk, and then Francis and Oliver walked away, heading to the room they kept for shift changes for their guards to check out.

He watched Cody and Dominic escort Elizabeth to the elevator from the parking garage to the lobby, where they then transferred her to the lobby to get the second, private elevator that connected to the penthouse levels.

On the elevator footage, he watched as Dominic pressed the button, and Cody asked Elizabeth something. She laughed, but there was no audio. And then she and Cody frowned when the elevator stopped, because it took longer to rise all fifteen floors to the penthouse level, and it had been less than a minute.

Jason watched Cody say something, and then start to follow Dominic out into the hallway. Elizabeth hesitated inside the elevator, glanced at the buttons and he wished she had followed her instinct, had pressed the button for the penthouse.

Instead, she followed her guards. Cody had been her guard since April, had been her guard initially the September she lived with him. Dominic had guarded her since June, when they had doubled her guards. Both of the men had been there with her through her doctor’s appointments, through the kidnapping attempt, and with her when she brought Cady home from the hospital.

He did not blame her for thinking that these men who had already protected her through attempted kidnappings wouldn’t betray her now. Cody had been with her that night at Kelly’s, had looked Jason in the eye and offered him the gun if Jason wanted to end him for not protecting her better. Dominic had had a head wound that day at the hospital.

“Put in the hallway footage,” Jason said tightly. “Was it both of them? Just one?”

Spinelli clicked something on his computer, for once realizing that this was not the time to speak. Sonny stood next to Jason, his hand over his mouth.

They watched Elizabeth step out of the elevator, the doors sliding closed. Jason recognized the hallway as the fourth floor, one they kept empty for security reasons. She was frowning, asking something. Maybe if there was a security issue. Cody stood in front of her, separating her from Dominic. And Jason saw the way the man was tensed, his hand braced.

And he knew then that Dominic was the traitor.

Dominic was a shade quicker than Cody. He drew his gun, with its attached silencer, and shot the man twice, a bullet hitting the wall just inches from Elizabeth’s head. She screamed, and he watched as she hesitated. Had probably thought of going to Cody. But then she turned and moved towards the stairwell. Dominic caught her before she got there, and then he placed a hand over her mouth.

He watched the woman he loved, his daughter’s mother, struggle and kick against a man Jason told her was safe. But Dominic was holding something over her mouth. Chloroform again, maybe.

And for five excruciating minutes, he watched as Elizabeth’s struggles lessened, and when she slumped in Dominic’s arms, he pushed open the stairwell.

“How…” Sonny cleared his throat. “How did they get her out of the building?”

“He carried her down the stairs,” Stan reported. “And to a waiting car just outside the building. We’re tracing it now, but the car was reported stolen a few hours ago.”

“Cody.” Jason swallowed. “Did you get to Cody? Was he…”

Spinelli shook his head. “He was still alive.” For once the colorful tech was subdued. “He was crawling towards the elevators, we think, but passed out. We called to Doc Lowenstein, who took him to the clinic. We haven’t heard anything else. He lost a lot of blood.”

“What do we know so far?” Sonny demanded. “The men know that Dominic is to be brought to us alive, as soon as possible. Do we know anything else?”

Stan nodded and looked to Benny who had joined them. “Dominic’s cousin is Freddy DiGarno in the warehouse. He’s one of the men who’s been on several of the shipments that have gone missing. Not all of them, but enough. We haven’t found any concrete money trails yet, but Spinelli thought he might have a lead on some numbered accounts.”

He wanted to rip apart the town, search every building, alley, street…but he knew that they had to be smart about this. Had to be systematic. He only had one chance to get this right. Elizabeth would not have a second chance.

“Any unusual movements around town?” Jason asked. “Men being places they’re not usually at. Warehouses in use that weren’t before?”

“We try to keep a handle on that in general,” Benny offered. “We haven’t heard anything, but with the circumstances, we’ve spread the word. Anyone seen with Dominic or Freddy who don’t report it back to us, will be dealt with. Swiftly.”

Sonny nodded. “Get Zacchara on the phone. Tell him his lawyer’s son has just kidnapped…” He hesitated. “Jason, I can’t just tell them…”

“Tell them they’ve just kidnapped my fiancée,” Jason said. “It’s close enough.” Girlfriends didn’t rate, and that wasn’t the right word for what Elizabeth was to him. She was everything, a concept someone as ruthless as Anthony Zacchara did not understand.

“And the other Families, make sure they’re aware of it. We…don’t appreciate the lack of cooperation we’ve had in this matter,” Sonny said. “And it’ll be duly noted the next time they want to use my precious shipping lanes.” He took a deep breath. “Okay. Keep the men on the streets, everyone. Nothing else goes through until Elizabeth is found. No shipments, no collections from the bookies. Vega’s scheduled to move something through the territory tomorrow, let him know that’s off.”

Benny nodded and moved aside to make his phone calls.

“If Cody can wake up, and tell us what was said in those last minutes, it might give us something.” Sonny rubbed his forehead. “Ah…Stan, Spinelli. Try…to figure out if you can trace the route of the car. They’ll have dumped it, but if you can… check any cameras on the streets that saw it. It turned left leaving the alley. Start there. Maybe there was a GPS or something.”

The techs nodded and they both started whispering furiously to each other, making notations on a sheet of paper.

“We…” Sonny approached Jason. “We’re doing everything we can think of Jase. I know you want to be out there…” He pressed hand to his chest. “I-I do, too. But right here, we get all the information as soon as we know it.”

“I know.” Jason nodded. “I know that this is where I need to be. Elizabeth would want me to sticking close to Cady until I had something concrete to follow. And I have nothing. She was gone for three hours before I ever knew she was in danger.” He closed his eyes. “I told her she could trust Dominic, Sonny. How could he guard her for all these months and turn on her? Was the head wound in October just a goddamn cover? To keep us from suspecting him if it didn’t work?”

“Could be.” Sonny nodded. “I just…can’t see how Ric thinks this is going to work. Does he think we’ll trade Cady for Elizabeth? Does he really think we’re not going to protect Cady as well as search for her mother?” He shook his head. “I don’t know, this is just…this is just not what I thought.”

“Maybe he thinks he can convince Elizabeth to come to him willingly,” Jason said. “To bring Cady to him. She’d give her life first, but maybe…maybe he doesn’t know that.” He hesitated. “She was…different last year, Sonny. When they were seeing each other. She was vulnerable, almost meek. It took her months to get herself back. Does he think that’s who she is? Someone can be manipulated?”

“Maybe.” Sonny rubbed his chin. “Maybe he thinks you manipulated her. After all, you were the one who approached him on the docks, you came up with the lie. And the letter you got…it wasn’t addressed to her. It was addressed to you.” He frowned and reached for doctored certificate. “He didn’t cross Elizabeth’s name off.”

Jason hesitated. “You think…he wants her, too.”

“It’s interesting,” Sonny said. “He didn’t want to be separated from his child, but…you know…” He furrowed his brow. “He didn’t make an attempt to break things off with Elizabeth. Even after it was clear she wasn’t going to be useful. He kept her around. Even with Faith on the side, making threats. And after you and I found out about him, he still tried to keep her with him.”

“He might think he’s in love with her,” Jason forced out. “Which is why the attempts haven’t been more forceful. He never put the baby or Elizabeth in serious danger.”

“Nope.” Sonny tapped his finger on the desk. “So that’s his endgame. He thinks the woman he met last year is the real Elizabeth Webber, a woman who was hurt, maybe a little more gullible than she would normally be. A little too trusting. She probably swallowed some lies.”

“She…told me,” Jason said slowly, feeling uncomfortable, “that she overlooked some of the outright lies because he told her he cared about her, that he made time for her…” He looked away. “All the things I didn’t.”

“Exactly. But you and I know that Elizabeth Webber, when she’s got her sense of self about her, she’s a fighter. She doesn’t take any bullshit. She doesn’t swallow lines. But he doesn’t know that. He thinks this woman who had his child will come to him because he turns on the charm.” Sonny nodded. “It’s starting to come together. He knew what went wrong between the two of you.”

“So he came after the business,” Jason said. Because Sonny was right. Everything made sense now. The patience Ric had showed—wanting Cady to be born, because then he could be rougher with Elizabeth in the kidnapping, but not too rough. It would have been quicker to use physical force to knock her out, but they’d used a difficult chemical. “He came after the business hoping it would lead me to treat Elizabeth like I did the last time. Never coming home, never talking to her.”

“He’s not working with all the facts, only what he knows.” Sonny hesitated. “It makes sense for Ric. He’s going to try to charm her into being with him, into bringing Cady to him, because hey, what could you do if she wants to take her daughter and be with the biological father?” He shrugged. “But that doesn’t explain Faith.”

“Maybe Faith doesn’t know the plan. Or the motivations,” Jason pointed out. “She might be getting frustrated.”

“If she gets frustrated, I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. It’s her resources that Ric’s using. If she just decides to cut her losses and go…” Sonny shrugged. “He’s on his own. But if she decides to raze the people involved to the ground…”

Max pushed the door open. “Boss, Emily Quartermaine is here and she says she might know something about Elizabeth.”

Emily barely waited for him to finish speaking before she rushed into the room. “I’m sorry, but Nadine told me she’s missing and I can’t live with myself if I don’t tell you what I think happened.”

“What is it, Em?” Jason asked. “Did you see something at the hospital?”

“No, but I think I know what happened in October, and maybe it’s related to this,” Emily said. “I…was having a conversation with someone about trying to apologize to Elizabeth. And we were just…talking about why I was angry, and how I didn’t think the guards would let me near her.” She swallowed. “So I said that I could probably do it at the hospital, because the guards are only the exits on the maternity floor. They don’t…follow her around.”

Jason stilled, because his sister looked so upset about this. He knew she wouldn’t have done it intentionally, but…he thought he might know who she had related this information to.

“Emily, who did you tell?” Sonny said, his voice so soft that Jason knew the other man was aware of what Emily would say before she could say it.

“Courtney,” Emily confessed. “And…that was the period when she seemed like she was getting over it. She seemed…to be moving on, but she told me something that maybe didn’t…mean what I thought I meant. She told me she wasn’t going to wallow it in it anymore. She was going to be true to herself. And then…she became angry again around the baby shower, but more so after Cady was born. And it’s worse than ever lately.” Her lip trembled, so she bit on it. “Jason, I am so sorry—”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Jason said. “It’s me. I set this in motion last year when I started dating Courtney, when I damn well knew I was still in love with Elizabeth. She was hurt, and vulnerable to Ric. None of this is your fault, Emily. It’s mine.” He looked to Sonny. “I…don’t know how it could have happened, how she could have given that information to anyone else, but it…”

“It fits,” Sonny said, with a deep sigh. He looked to Max. “Find my sister. Bring her to the penthouse whether she likes it or not.”

Is this a natural feeling or is it just me bleeding
All my thoughts and dreams in hope that you will be with me or
Is this a moment to remember or just a cold day in December, I wonder
If maybe, maybe I could be all you ever dreamed cause you are
– Anywhere But Here, SafetySuit

Tuesday, February 3, 2004

Kelly’s: Dining Room

“So, you told us you had something to announce.” Nadine dumped sugar in her coffee. “I’ve waited long enough, and I’m not waiting any longer.”

“Yes…well…” Elizabeth shifted in her seat and smiled at her grandmother. “I’ve been talking about it with Jason, and he…has told me a few times that I don’t need to go back to work if I don’t want to, and part of me…” She paused. “Part of me just wants to sit at home and watch her change.”

“You’ll go nuts in five days,” Emily predicted. “So, you’d go back to Kelly’s?”

“No.” Elizabeth cast her eyes around the diner that had been a second home to her since she’d moved to town, had once actually been her home. “No, I think…I’m ready to move on. It’s something I’ve been thinking about almost since I got pregnant, before Jason and I worked things out. I thought about getting my certification to teach, but I also…” She met her grandmother’s eyes. “I thought about going into the family business. Webbers usually end up as doctors, but…I decided to enroll in the nurse’s program.”

“Yes!” Nadine’s fist shot in the eye. “I was hoping that one would win.”

Emily wrinkled her nose. “You used to hate blood.” And then she tilted her head. “But, now that I think of it, that’s not been true for a while.”

“Yeah, well, I guess it’s something I grew out of.” Hard to be nervous at the sight of blood when she’d had to change Jason’s bandage once a day and he’d opened his wound more than once trying to recover to fast. “I’ve…had some experience in helping someone who was sick. I think I’d be good at it.”

“Well, I am certainly pleased,” Audrey said. “As long as you’re sure it’s what you want.”

“Well, like I said, Jason and I talked about it. I’m going to enroll now, but I’m too late for this starting class—which is fine with me since I want to stay home with Cady for at least six months, but Bobbie said I could start this summer, maybe. Or even the fall. I don’t have to commit right away, but I wanted to get the paperwork started.”

“It’ll be great working together,” Emily said, with a bright smile. She flashed another at Nadine—the two were still not all that friendly, but Elizabeth had hopes they’d warm up to one another.

Courtney approached them then, with her usual annoyed expression. Elizabeth thought she might be more annoyed that now she and Emily were friends again, the blonde’s casual friendship with Emily had faded. Another thing Courtney would probably claim Elizabeth had stolen from her.

“Are you guys done yet? I’d like a table who might leave me a decent tip.”

Elizabeth lifted her eyebrows at this, and opened her mouth to respond, but Audrey caught her first. “You know, Courtney, the service I have received the last few times I have been here has been appalling. I will be speaking to Bobbie about this.”

Courtney narrowed her eyes, slapped their check on the table and stalked away.

“Honestly.” Nadine rolled her eyes. “It’s been like…a year hasn’t it? I mean, is he that good in bed?” She flushed. “Sorry, Mrs. Hardy.” The older woman just smiled.

“She was doing better for a while,” Emily said hesitantly. “Or I thought she was.”

Later, as Nadine and Audrey had moved on to their cars, Emily followed Elizabeth to the SUV where Cody and Dominic were holding the door open

“I…think you should be careful around Courtney.”

Elizabeth blinked at her. “Why? She can’t be like this forever, you know. And I barely even see her most of the time. Em, she’s just bitter. I have Jason and she doesn’t. She thinks I stole him, that I stole Carly and Sonny, and probably you, but—”

“I know you didn’t.” Emily hesitated. “I don’t know. I just…it’s been ten months since she found out. She and Jason were only together a few months, barely that long in public. It’s just…not right for her still to be this angry. She seemed like she was coming to terms with it for a while, and now it’s like it’s happening all over again. I don’t want her to make trouble for you.”

“I appreciate it, but I just…” Elizabeth lifted her shoulders. “I just don’t know what trouble she could cause, honestly. Jason and I are better than we’ve ever been. We went through a lot of rough patches getting it right, but we have. I know he loves me, he knows I love him. We have our daughter. Life is practically perfect. I can’t think of anything Courtney could do to make that go away.”

“I guess you’re right.” Emily bit her lip. “I just…I worry. Maybe I’m overcompensating for what a bitch I was all of last year.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Elizabeth said softly. “You and I are going to be fine. We’re family, Emily. We always were, but even more so now.” She embraced her friend in a tight hug. “But thanks for looking out for me.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Jason pulled open the door at the knock, and frowned when he saw Carly. “Hey. Elizabeth is out—”

“Hey, do not assume I’m here to see the Muffin.” Carly jabbed at his chest. “I am your best friend. I merely tolerate her, you know. I can come see you.”

“Okay.” Jason waited. “Are you?”

She scowled. “No.” Then she lifted her chin and sniffed. “I’m here to see my goddaughter and niece.” She pushed past him and grinned when she saw the play mat set up on the floor, and Cady waving her hands at the dangling toys hanging over her. “Hey. You’re with Cady.”

“You know, we haven’t had the christening yet. She’s only your niece until then.” Jason shut the door.

“Semantics.” Carly waved her hand and leaned against the desk, watching Cady. “She’s trying to roll over.”

“Yeah. She’s been doing that for about a week.” They both watched the infant struggle to do so, and her face wrinkling up when she just couldn’t make it happen. “Elizabeth swears she’ll do it every day we set her up on this, but I keep telling her it’s probably going to be another month.”

“All mothers think their babies are the smartest.” Carly raised her eyebrows. “Morgan rolled over at two months, three weeks and five days. So, you know. He wins so far.”

Jason just shook his head. Trust Carly to make it a competition. “So…you came to see Cady.”

“I did.” Carly fidgeted. “And maybe…I came to see the Muffin. But I can ask you the same question that Sonny forbid me to ask either of you.”

Well, that couldn’t be anything good. He sighed and folded his arms across his chest. “Carly—”

“I just…I haven’t nagged you since you went to Puerto Rico, I figure I didn’t need to.” She shrugged and wandered over towards the sofa, her fingers trailing over the back. “After seeing you in the hospital room…”

“Carly.” Jason sighed. He hated when she brought this stuff up. Even though things were good now—even great—it didn’t meant he wanted to talk about it. So he just offered his stock answer that had worked in the past. “We’re…you know, working on it.”

Her head snapped up at that, and she narrowed her eyes. “What the hell does that mean?” she demanded.

“Carly, don’t use that tone—Cady can hear you—”

And then Jason found himself actually ducking the pillow she threw at him. “Carly—”

“What is wrong with the two of you?” she continued, almost hissing the words. “What’s left to work out? You bastards are ridiculous for each other, you’ve got this gorgeous baby, and you’re working on it? It’s been months—”

“Carly, I hate when you push.” Jason moved to pick Cady up and hold her while Carly delivered her tantrum.

“I don’t get it.” She shoved her hair out of her face, trying to keep her voice level. “I see you with Cady, I see you with Elizabeth, and it just looks right, so how can you keep messing this up?”

He grimaced. “We’re—”

And then he realized she was crying. He stopped talking.

“I just want you to be happy!” she sobbed. “I broke you, and I just want to make it better. This is all my fault, you know. I did this. I ruined you.”

“I…” He blinked and shook his head. “Carly—”

“If I hadn’t given you Michael, if I hadn’t made you take him while I ran off to find myself or ended up in the nuthouse, you wouldn’t have told Robin the truth, and she wouldn’t have been able to hurt you. And then she took him away, and I took him away all over again.” Her chest was heaving. “I gave you this little boy to love and then I made sure you could never keep him when I gave him the Quartermaines—”

“Carly,” Jason began, bracing his hand on Cady’s back. “It wasn’t—”

“You have been the best friend I’ve ever had and I’ve done nothing but take and take and take!” She jabbed a finger at him. “I cause you nothing but pain. I slept with your best friend. I called you a kidnapper. I gave your son to AJ, to Sonny. And now this is all my fault, because you can’t trust Elizabeth to stay, and it’s because I broke you.”

“You didn’t break me,” Jason said, feeling uncomfortable, because he could have avoided this scene if he’d just…told her the truth about his relationship with Elizabeth. He was beginning to see a pattern here—he would refuse to open up, and therefore the women in his life would draw their own conclusions.

“I did!” Carly nodded, swiping at her eyes. “Look what you’ve done for me, Jase! I have my beautiful boys, my beautiful home, I have Sonny. And you’re losing your chance at being a family because of me!”

“I…” He drew in a deep breath. “Carly, Elizabeth and I are going to be fine. I didn’t…want to get into this, but it’s going to be fine.”

Her breath shaky, Carly shook her head. “I thought that was true, but how can you still be working on it—”

“When I say that,’” Jason said slowly, hoping to keep her calm because so far Cady was holding her own, but he didn’t want her upset. “I mean that we’ve talked about a lot of things. She knows why I was pulling away, and I know why she wasn’t pushing.”

“O-Okay.” Carly hesitated. “But—”

“I’m not saying we’re not both still…” Jason looked away, discomforted. “Apprehensive about if we can really make it work on an everyday basis, but we’re both in this now. I told her I loved her, she said it back. We’ve talked about Cady, and how we want to raise her together. Carly, I’m sorry. I should have—I should have been clearer.”

Her mouth was pressed in a thin line, and she fisted a hand on her hip. “Why do you do this, Jase? Why can’t…” She huffed. “We’re supposed to be friends. But you never…tell me anything. You keep it all locked in, as if no one can help you. And then I go insane, because I just want to be there for you, and I apparently have to lose my damn mind for you to let me.”

“You’re right.” Jason nodded, accepting that as a truth. “And to make it up to you, I’ll tell you…just this once…that you were right. If I had listened to you months ago, if I had talked to you or to Sonny about what was going wrong, I could have made it easier for Elizabeth to talk to me. And we would have been in this place months ago.”

Carly blinked and held up a finger. “Um. You need to tell me that again. That part about me being right. And I’m going to need you to make a recording of that. Because Sonny isn’t going to believe me.”

“Carly—”

“And I want it on a T-shirt.”

“You’re pushing it now.”

Morgan Penthouse: Bedroom

Around two in the morning, Elizabeth rolled her and her hand found empty space. She pried her eyes open and found that Jason’s side of the bed was still warm, but empty nonetheless. He’d come in from the warehouse after she’d already fallen asleep for the night.

She sighed, but then heard rustling on the baby monitor. Cady was doing all right with sleeping through the night—Elizabeth fed her about midnight and then at five in the morning, but occasionally, she woke up anyway. Elizabeth slid out of bed and padded down the hall to the nursery where Jason was standing over Cady’s crib.

“Hey…is she awake?” Elizabeth rested her head against the doorframe.

“She was,” he replied softly. “But I just put her back in bed.” He stepped back from the crib and looked at her. “How was lunch?”

“Fine.” Elizabeth shrugged. “Emily and Nadine are still pretty frosty with one another, but I guess it’s too much to hope for that they would both get along right away. Nadine was around for too much of what happened.” She smiled. “Gram is over the moon about me and the nursing program.” She eyed him. “I told them I have some brief experience in caring for someone.”

“This is true.” She watched him adjust Cady’s blanket once more before joining her at the door. He gently pulled the nursery door closed, leaving them shrouded in the darkness of the hall. “And I managed to survive it, so I guess you’ll be fine.”

She laughed and punched him in the shoulder. “Cady was already with Carly when I got home. Was she good for you today? Did she roll over?”

“She was fine,” Jason said. “And no.” She could sense his hesitation. “Carly…had a weird meltdown today.”

“A meltdown?” Elizabeth blinked. She started for their bedroom and he followed her. “Is she okay?” She slid back under the comforter and waited for him to join her so she could curl up into his side. “What happened?”

“I don’t…I mean, yeah, I know what started it, but I guess I didn’t think…” She felt his chest rise rapidly as he drew in a deep breath. “She came over to nag you about…us, but decided I would do instead.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth rested her chin on his chest so she could peer into his eyes. “And you gave her some noncommittal answer that did nothing to tell her of any progress we’ve made since Cady was born, so therefore, she finally hit her limit.”

“Yeah.” His fingers trailed up down her back, sending tingles through the thin camisole she wore. “She…I didn’t know she thought…” He was quiet for a moment. “She thought she broke me.”

“Broke…you?” Elizabeth repeated. She sat up, confused. “Why? How?”

“Because…of Michael,” Jason said, his hand at her hip. “Because she gave him to me, which created the situation with Robin, then she went to the Quartermaines and she ended up with Sonny. I…I didn’t know she had that much guilt in her.”

“But still…” Elizabeth shook her head. “I mean, I get it, but you weren’t broken. You just…I hurt you so much, you know. And we didn’t trust each other. It had very little to do with Carly.”

“Well, not all of it,” Jason admitted. He cast his eyes away, and she knew how he hated to open up like this. “But maybe there’s an element of truth. It was harder for me to think you’d stay. Robin…said she could accept my job, but…”

“I remember you told me once that you never grew up in Robin’s eyes, but that you had in Sonny’s.” Elizabeth lowered herself back down next to him. “Well, I hope I’ve convinced you that all the reasons I didn’t stay before aren’t a factor now. I accept your job, I’m not trying to make things work with Lucky…and most important, I love you.” She sighed. “So what did you tell Carly?”

“I told her the truth. That you and I had talked. A lot. That we’re going to raise Cady, that we love each other. I thought…she deserved that after I made her cry.”

“Oh, good grief. Carly cried? I can’t even imagine that.”

“So I told her she was right—that if I had talked to you months ago, things would have been better. That cheered her up.”

Elizabeth giggled, appreciating the image of a dumbfounded Carly being told by Jason that she was right about a piece of advice. “I’m surprised she didn’t want that recorded.”

“I didn’t know she was holding that kind of guilt about…everything,” Jason confessed. “I wouldn’t…have let her think that if I knew. I…wish she and Sonny could have found each other any other way than trying to prove a point I didn’t need to know about the both of them, but…” he hesitated.

“But what?” Elizabeth pressed. She raised her head once more to find his eyes in the darkness.

“It hurt at first. I mean, it was painful and I didn’t want to see either of them. But I don’t know…by the time I left town, I had mostly let go of it.” His fingers slid through her hair. “I didn’t see it then, but I was already in love with you, and the rest of it didn’t matter anymore.”

Elizabeth grinned and stretched up to kiss him. “By the way,” she murmured. “Do you know what today is?”

“February 4,” he mumbled against her lips. Then he stopped and pulled away from her a bit. “Two months.”

“To the day.” She grinned. “And you know what Kelly said when I saw her two weeks ago.” She slid her hand down his chest and beneath the waist of his sweat pants. “So what do you say we finally celebrate everything good in our lives?”

Wednesday, February 4, 2004

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Elizabeth wrinkled her nose as she stepped off the bottom stair with Cady in her hands. “They’re going to give her more needles today, Jason. I can’t stand it—”

“They’re for her own good,” Jason said simply. He lifted the baby carrier onto the desk. “And you know she won’t remember it. If you don’t believe me, you can ask Michael when he comes home from school.”

She huffed and bounced Cady a little in her arms. “Tell Daddy to stop mocking me.”

“She can’t roll over yet, so I doubt she’s telling me anything.”

Elizabeth sniffed. “Fine then.” She handed their daughter to him and then watched as he effortlessly slid her into the straps and then attached them. “How do you always do that without her crying? It’s because you’re taller and I’m a midget, isn’t? Somehow that’s how this works out.”

Jason just grinned and shook his head. “Where’s the diaper bag?”

“By the sofa.” Elizabeth reached inside her tote bag to make sure her first year baby journal was inside and the page on the two month doctor’s checkup was bookmarked. She didn’t want to miss a thing. “You cleared the entire day, didn’t you?”

“Unless there’s an emergency.” She glanced over to find him returning, Cady’s cotton candy pink diaper bag over his shoulder. Somehow, he made that work. “Why? Are we doing something later?”

“Yep. I’m going to let Carly spoil Cady for a few hours tonight.” Elizabeth put her journal away and set her purse down. “And then, you, Jason Morgan, are going to take me out.”

He hesitated, but couldn’t find the flaw in her argument—she was allowed to leave the penthouse with just him if they didn’t have Cady. With the baby, the guards went as well. “Okay. Did…” He shifted uncomfortably. “What, like the Grille?”

She burst into laughter, and shook her head. “God, no. You’d gnaw off your own foot in about five minutes. I’ll let Sonny and Carly guilt you into those dinners.” She poked him in the chest. “We’re having Eli’s here at the penthouse—without a baby to watch. And then, you’re taking me for a ride on the cliff road.”

“It’s amazing how often you manage to bring the bike back into it.”

There was a knock on the door, and Francis pushed it open. “Hey. I just wanted to bring up the mail. It’s been swept and everything.” He held out a small stack of envelopes. Elizabeth took it and started to go through with it. Credit card offers, mostly—a utility bill. She wrinkled her nose at her own credit card bill. She couldn’t wait to go back to work and have money of her own.

“Huh.” She picked out the manila envelope at the bottom of the table. “This…it’s from Lucky.”

Jason frowned. “He writes you a lot?”

“No…” She set the other envelopes on the desk, and turned it over in her hands. “We just had a web chat yesterday so he, Nikolas and Lulu could see Cady. He didn’t say anything…” Elizabeth peered at the handwriting. “It’s not his writing.”

Jason took the envelope from her, and examined it for himself. In her car seat, Cady fussed a little. “Do…you want to open it?”

“I mean…we might as well.” She watched him pull out two pieces of paper. “What is it?” she asked softly, when she saw the way he tensed. “Jason, what is it?”

He looked at the second sheet of paper, and his face darkened. Without a word, he handed her both papers. With shaking hands, she read the first one.

Nice try, Morgan, but blood is always thicker. Tell my daughter Daddy’s coming for her soon.

Her mind blanked, and she swayed. Jason reached out, and steadied her. “Elizabeth…”

She shook her head and tossed the note on the table, revealing the second part of the threat. It was Cady’s birth certificate which declared that at 7:05 PM on December 3, 2003, Cadence Audrey Caroline Morgan had been born to Elizabeth Webber and Jason Morgan. Cady and Jason’s names had lines drawn through them, and next to those spaces, someone had scrawled in replacements. Adela Grace Lansing and Richard Lansing.

“Jason….” She raised her eyes to him. “What…what does this mean? Is it…just a taunt? A direct threat? I don’t understand. It’s not as though he can show up to file for custody.” Her blood froze. “Jason…”

Jason exhaled slowly. “It’s not…out of the realm of possibility,” he admitted. “Ric…was never convicted of a crime. And right now, no one in law enforcement is looking for him. If he were to…file, it would be too high profile to do anything to him. Suspicion would be immediate.”

“No, no.” The birth certificate slipped from her numb fingers. “Jason…”

“Hey…” Jason reached out and placed his hands on her shoulders. “First of all, I don’t…think that’s his plan. It’s too straightforward. Second, blood tests can be faked. Even court-ordered ones. And if that didn’t work, Elizabeth, I would put you and Cady on a plane to the nearest country without extradition laws.”

“Without you?” she demanded. “We won’t go without you.”

He hesitated. “We’ll deal with it if we have to, but I really don’t think we have to worry—”

“No.” Elizabeth shook her head. “Promise me you won’t send us away when we wouldn’t be able to come back without you.” She watched him dip his head and take a deep breath. “Jason. We promised each other we’d stay. Remember? So that means you can’t—” She was abruptly cut off when he drew to him and kissed her. Her lips were trembling, and she was sure he could taste the fear running through her at that moment, but when he pulled back, she felt a little better. “Jason.”

“I don’t know how I would make it work with Sonny,” he said after a moment, “but you’re right. You and Cady are my family. Where you go, I go. But I still don’t think he’ll go for that. It’s more likely he just wants us to know that he never believed any differently. That he’s always known I’m not the biological father.” He rested his forehead against her. “Sonny and I thought that might be the case, but now we know it’s true. So it means he has an endgame.”

“Then what is it?” she whispered. She looked at their daughter, still fussing in her car seat. “What is he planning?”

She could see the bewilderment in his eyes. “We…just…we don’t know.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes. “Cady’s going to be late for her appointment, and she needs her shots. So do you want me to go with the guards while—”

“No,” Jason said firmly. “We’ll go to her appointment. I’ll give these to Francis, and he’ll deliver them. Sonny and I can take care of it when we get back. I don’t want you taking the baby out without me.”

She nodded. “Okay. You’ve kept us safe so far, Jason, so I can’t doubt you.” She looked again at Cady who chose that moment to open her tiny mouth and wail at the injustice of being in the seat and not being able to do anything else. “It’s just…we have so much to lose…and I’m terrified.”

And I would let you know
You cannot walk away
Cause there are things to say
And I know that you might
Not see this tonight
But there are things to say
We have life to make
– Things to Say, SafetySuit

Friday, January 9, 2004

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

“Every time I see her,” Emily said, smiling even as she changed Cady’s diaper, “her face is changing. She looks so much like you.” She smiled at her friend, relieved to be in the same room as Elizabeth and Nadine.

“Thank you!” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “I asked Jason if he thought she had my eyes and you know what he said to me?”

“She has her own eyes?” Emily suggested, and three of them laughed, because even Nadine knew how literal Jason could be by this point. “Yeah, he’s annoying like that.” She looked down at the eyes in question and smiled. “I was hoping she might have Jason’s eye color, but I think they’re going to be more like yours, Elizabeth.” She handed over the infant.

Elizabeth hesitated and frowned at her. “Why do you think that?”

“Yeah, I read that baby’s eye colors change constantly over their first year.” Nadine leaned over to peer at them. “They’re like…grayish.”

Elizabeth sniffed. “They’re slate-blue,” she said, and Emily rolled her eyes. Trust Elizabeth to be picky over color.

“I say that,” Emily said, “because I don’t know much about genetics, but Jason’s eyes are really light, so if they were going to be that color, they would be already. Eyes change color because of pigment, and it goes without saying that light blue eyes don’t need a lot of pigment.”

“Fair point,” Nadine nodded.

Emily frowned when Elizabeth looked uncomfortable with the turn in conversation. She thought it would be great if Cady had her father’s eyes, because they were Lila’s eyes, but Elizabeth’s were nice, too. At least she knew they were going to be blue…

And then looked at Cady again. At her eyes. Which had been light blue when she’d been born, and now they were darkening.

She cleared her throat. “So, how is it being new parents? Are you and Jason…adjusting well?” When Elizabeth hesitated, Emily sighed, because even though they’d been trying, she knew Elizabeth was apprehensive about sharing anything personal with her. Not that Emily could blame her, since she’d royally screwed up the last time her friend had confided in her. But she had worked through her anger—had even had a long web chat with Lucky to clear the air.

“You don’t have to answer that.” Emily forced a smile on her face. “How long before she rolls over? Or sits up?”

“I…” Elizabeth wrinkled her nose and leaned over to place Cady in her bouncing seat on top of the coffee table. She flicked it on, and the baby began to lightly bounce. “No, it’s okay, Em. If we’re going to be friends again, really friends, we have to start somewhere.”

“Great, because I have been dying to ask.” Nadine popped a handful of popcorn in her mouth. “I’ve been so busy with my sister and then Christmas at the hospital that I haven’t been able to bug you. Last I heard, you kicked Jason out of the delivery room.”

“Yeah, I heard about that through the hospital grapevine, but you know, you’re not the only mom to do that, according to Kelly.” Emily shrugged.”

“Well, to be honest, Em…Jason and I had a lot of rough patches,” Elizabeth said slowly. “When this started, it was just…it was a mess. I mean…” She shifted and cast her eyes away. “You know we hurt a lot of people with how it started.”

“Because of me,” Emily said. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it.”

“I was hoping we wouldn’t,” Nadine murmured and Emily shot her a look. “What? Hey, I’m glad you guys are okay now, which means hopefully you’ll stop shooting me dirty looks in the hallway, but I’m a straight shooter. You were a turd.”

“Don’t…” Elizabeth sighed. “Don’t start. Emily, Nadine has been there for me when you just…wouldn’t be. So she’s annoyed on my behalf, because she was also my OB nurse, and so she knows about my blood pressure problems, which was…part of the reason I moved in with Jason in the first place.” She cast her eyes to Nadine, and Emily nodded. Smack her down, too. “And Nadine, I appreciate it, but Emily and I are doing better.”

“Fair enough.” Nadine sipped her soda.

“Understood,” Emily said.

“Now…like I said, I didn’t move in with Jason for romantic reasons. They were purely practical. He was concerned…about my health. And….we were still tiptoeing around each other. We made things…more difficult than they had to be. So, I made him talk to me about some of the things that went wrong. We started to clear the air. And then…” Her face flushed and she looked away. “We…started to…get closer.”

Emily grimaced. “Got it. Sexy sexy good times with my brother. You can save those details for Nadine.”

“Because how else shall I live vicariously through her?” Nadine sighed, dreamily. “They’re good details, though, Em. You might want to try sitting through them. There’s a great pool table story—”

“Anyway.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “We weren’t talking about what was next. How we were going to deal with Cady…he was always so uncomfortable when we talked about her. I just…thought he might not love her as much as he could because of how it started.”

Emily opened her mouth, because really what nonsense, and then she closed it. Because she got it. She understood it all. Cady’s eyes were darkening, would probably end up being brown by the end of the year. And Elizabeth had quit her job and moved in with Jason for safety reasons.

And then someone had tried to kidnap her.

She squared her shoulders. “Well, I guess you’ve worked it out mostly, then.”

“It was touch and go for a while, and I think Jason thought I was going to leave him after she was born. So he took a trip to Puerto Rico right before she was due.” Elizabeth changed the speed on the seat from fast to slow. “I knew he had to go, that it had to be Sonny or Jason, and Carly would have cut Sonny if he’d disappeared five seconds after Morgan was born when he’d been gone for weeks last summer.”

“Still,” Emily said, “it must have hurt for you to think he would miss his daughter’s birth.”

“And that’s why I threw him out of the delivery room. But I guess the way I did it, or whatever Carly babbled at him afterwards, did the trick. We’re not perfect yet,” Elizabeth added. “But it’s been great this last month. You know what a wonderful father he was to Michael, Em.”

“I do. And any thoughts Jason might have had about how Cady got here, it’s clear he doesn’t see her that way now.” Emily tucked her hair behind her ears. “Right?”

“Yes,” Elizabeth confirmed. “I mean…there’s still some things up in the air. We both still have trust issues, but we’re making a conscious effort to talk about them now, and not just assume.” This last past she addressed to Nadine, and Emily tried not to feel left out as it was clear that she was receiving the glossed over version and Nadine had been privy to the details.

She could not be angry that Elizabeth had found someone she was close to, someone to take on the role of best friend and confidant. As Jason’s sister and Elizabeth’s best friend, it should have been her. And it was her own fault it hadn’t been.

“Well, hello, it’s all I’ve been saying since day one.” Nadine looked to Emily. “Months, I tell you. Months, I spent telling her just to talk to him. I almost talked to him myself.”

“Ha, that I would have liked to see.” Emily smiled, and reminded herself again, she had no one to blame but herself for being on the outside looking in. She looked at Elizabeth. “So you’re going to be okay?”

“All things considered…” Elizabeth’s mouth curved into a smile as she looked at her daughter. “I’m going to be great.”

The door opened then, and Jason entered. He stopped, seeing the living room full of women. “Ah…” He cleared his throat. “I can come back.”

Elizabeth laughed and rolled her eyes. “Like you don’t live here. Nadine has a shift in a half hour anyway, and it’s time for Cady to go down for a nap.” She unstrapped her daughter from the seat. She and Nadine said their goodbyes, and with minutes, Emily was alone with her brother.

Elizabeth had forgiven her much more easily than her brother, and with what Emily had realized during this visit, she wasn’t sure why either of them were even speaking to her. It was clear that Cady was not Jason’s biological daughter, which meant she had set Ric on Elizabeth all those months ago, when she’d been trying to prove something to herself. She had put Elizabeth and her child in danger, and Jason had spent months cleaning up the mess.

Sure, it had worked out in some ways. Even she could see that Jason was happier with Elizabeth than he’d been with Courtney—she couldn’t understand why she’d ever felt differently. And Elizabeth was certainly happier. Cady couldn’t do better for a father.

But at the end of the day, Emily had been the reason for it. Emily was the reason her best friend and her child were probably still in danger.

She hesitated and looked at Jason. “You know that I love you, right?”

Jason sighed and lowered himself onto the sofa. “Yeah. I know that.”

“And…I know what I did…all the things I did, but especially telling Ric Elizabeth was pregnant was wrong. I mean, I only hinted to him, but I made it clear. And I know…that made everything so much more difficult.”

Even if she’d only doubted before, the way Jason’s eyes snapped to hers told her everything she needed to know. And she was heartbroken because it was clear that it was probably something Elizabeth would have told her, if they’d been friends.

“Emily—”

“Because you and Elizabeth didn’t get to handle this the way you wanted to,” Emily cut in swiftly. “I mean, you guys probably had a plan how to break the news, and I just…ruined it. And then I treated Liz like crap for weeks. I didn’t even think about what it might be doing to her health until you…until that day at Kelly’s. And I felt so stupid, because I’m a med student. I should have. I made everything worse.”

“It’s over now, Emily.” Jason shrugged. “It was up to Elizabeth to forgive you—”

“And for some reason, she has, but I know…you haven’t.” Jason didn’t look at her, and she sighed. “It’s okay. You shouldn’t. I know now how ridiculous I was, how stupid I was to assume I knew better than you what you needed. I look at you now, with Elizabeth and with Cady, and I see the way it should have been ages ago. Would have been if I’d been a better friend and stopped pressuring her to fix Lucky and follow her heart. So, you have my promise now, Jason. I have learned my lesson. From now on, you have my unwavering support.”

She stood and leaned over to kiss his cheek. “You are my brother, and I just want you to be happy. And Elizabeth is my oldest friend, so that’s what I want for her. Lucky for me, I don’t have to worry anymore, because you going to make each other happy.” She drew on her jacket and wrapped her scarf around her. “Let Liz know I had to go—”

Jason got to his feet and wrapped her in a tight hug. “I love you, too, Em.” He drew back and with a half-smile that she knew meant she was forgiven. “Just…don’t do it again.”

Morgan Penthouse: Nursery

Elizabeth was standing over Cady’s crib when she felt Jason standing in the doorway. She glanced at him. “Did you and Em talk? I tried not to make it obvious.”

“I figured when Nadine looked surprised to learn she was leaving.” But he didn’t look annoyed, only…contemplative. He joined her, and they watched their daughter sleep.

“Emily knows.”

Elizabeth’s hand froze as she leaned down to stroke Cady’s back. She raised her eyes to Jason. “W-What?”

“I don’t…know how she guessed it,” Jason continued. “But the way she was talking…about having created this mess. If she believed the lie, she wouldn’t have been so forceful about it. She kept saying she’d made it worse.”

She sighed. “I thought she might have suspected. Nadine and I haven’t really had a chance to get together since she came back from New York, with Cady and Christmas, so she asked me how you and I were doing. She’d heard the rumors about the delivery room.” She looked at him, her heart aching. “I am so sorry I did that to you. For one thing, you missed her being born. And secondly, I know if too many people talked, it might have created problems.”

“I don’t…I don’t care about any of that.” Jason shook his head. “You…did what you had to do get through that moment, and you and I were…not talking. We were both protecting ourselves.”

Still. “Anyway,” Elizabeth continued. “I tried to give Em the cliff notes version on why that happened, how us not talking snowballed until I kicked you out. But while Nadine could swallow a story about me not thinking you were interested in your own child, Emily actually knows us. Which means she knows how you felt about Michael, and she also knows that I know it, too. So…she just looked at me.”

“I don’t think she’ll say anything,” he said after a moment. “Because she was there when you were almost kidnapped. And it looks like you guys cleared the air as to why you were fighting in the first place. Honestly…I don’t think Emily would have said anything all summer, even when you weren’t talking. There’d be no point.”

“I don’t think she’ll say anything, either.” Elizabeth rested her head against his shoulder. “I shouldn’t stand in here while she’s sleeping. I know it might wake her up.”

“And yet you do it all the time,” he said, voice teasing.

“I just…don’t like her being out of my sight,” she sighed. “I can see for myself that she’s safe.”

He wrapped an arm around her waist and tucked her into her side. “I know you’re still scared.”

“But it’s so much worse now, Jason,” she confessed. “Before, I carried her inside of me. I could protect her. And now, she’s her own person. If they got past me—”

“They’re not going to—”

“But they could. I’m not saying it wouldn’t take a catastrophe. I know if they got to me, it’s because they’ve gone around you and Sonny…which is no minor feat…” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “But I find myself and looking at her and imagining the worst case scenarios. I just want to protect her.”

“I know. We’re doing everything we can—”

“What is he waiting for?” The words burst out of her in a harsh whisper, and Jason led her away from the crib and into the hallway. She kept herself together until they were in their bedroom and then she just couldn’t. “Why doesn’t he just come for her? Why doesn’t he go after you? Or Sonny? What is the point of all this, Jason? What is he doing? It’s been almost a year!”

He dipped his head and drew in a deep breath. “I know. I want him to come at me, so I can end this, and it makes Sonny nervous that Ric’s just…circling. He didn’t show this level of patience last year.” He drew her close and she pressed her face into the warmth and comfort of his shirt. “We think he just can’t get to you. You rarely leave the penthouse, especially not since Cady was born. I’m always with you when you do. When you do go out without me, you take two guards for you and one for Cady.”

She huffed. “So you’ve done such a good job of protecting us that we’ve drawn it out this long.” She tilted her head back and smiled wryly at him. “It sounds insane. But…no, I guess you’re right. I don’t go anywhere alone, which I used to find restricting, but after I woke up in the hospital, Nadine across the hall from me recuperating from a bruised back…I don’t care if I ever leave this penthouse if it means our daughter is safe.”

“He’s been more patient than I would have thought possible.” His hand smoothed up and down her back. “Especially working with Faith Roscoe. She’s more hotheaded than that, or we thought so. But I’m getting tired of it, too, Elizabeth. I don’t want you to live like this. I don’t want Cady’s first months to be like this. I mean, it’s winter now and it’s not like she’d be out much anyway.”

“But I want to take her for walks in the spring,” Elizabeth murmured. “I want us to have a normal life. Well…as normal as it can get anyway. With just one guard.”

“I know.”

She drew back again, letting some space fill in between their bodies. “I’m not blaming you for not finding him. You know that, right?”

He rubbed the edge of his eyebrow. “I’m blaming me for letting him walk away that day on the docks. For not realizing Sonny would eventually overlook the brother thing. I had my hands wrapped around his neck…” He trailed off. “I shouldn’t…talk like that in front of you.”

“Oh…for…” Elizabeth sighed and rolled her eyes. “Jason, do you honestly think I’m unaware of what you do for a living? Or do you prefer to think I am?”

“I…” He hesitated. “I don’t know the answer to that.”

She pulled away from him and sat on the edge of the bed. “I mean, it’s not like I want specifics or…” She waved her hand. “Itineraries of your daily activities, but please give me some credit.”

Jason just stood in front of her, blinking at her. Well, maybe they did need to have this conversation. “You remember when you said you didn’t want my face to change?”

He exhaled slowly, and looked away but offered a short nod.

“Well, all summer, you and Sonny have hunted down Ric and Faith. You toss around words like deal with and handle, but Carly and I both know what they mean. And the reasons I walked away from you that October?” She shrugged. “Those were about trust. About the way you treated me. Made me feel like I didn’t matter. Not because of your job.”

“Elizabeth—”

“Maybe you would prefer it if I pretended I didn’t know better.” Elizabeth tilted her head to the side. “Would it make you feel better if I thought you imported coffee beans?”

He sat next to her on the bed, and shook his head. “No. But that’s not same thing as wanting you to know what I am.”

“What you are?” she echoed. “Jason, in a perfect mafia world, you wouldn’t have to…” She shrugged. “Enforce anything. You and Sonny could just break all the gaming and smuggling laws you want. Or whatever laws get broke when you do what you do. I’ve never really thought about it, honestly.”

“A perfect mafia world?” And she was surprised to see a smile ghost across his lips. “Elizabeth.”

“Jason, I know why Sonny got in this business. He didn’t have power growing up, so he went out and took it. You…didn’t have a future. Direction. Nothing else really to live for. So Sonny gave you something. He gave you a code, maybe. Or…” She reached into his lap and took his hand in hers. “It’s not as if either of you sat down and decided to enjoy a life of violence. It’s a byproduct of the other stuff, and it’s not something either of you relish.”

“And that makes it okay for you?” Jason asked. “How—”

“It doesn’t need to be okay for me. I don’t have to go out and do what you do.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. “Jason, at the end of the day, I love you. And I’ll tell you that as often as you need to hear it until you believe that I see who you are. The good, the bad. I know your virtues and I know your flaws. And the only thing that I don’t like…” He raised his head at that and met hers. “I don’t like that sometimes you think it’s more important for the other person to be happy than it is for you. You don’t reach out for what you want enough.”

“It’s not always there for me to have,” he said quietly. “So reaching out for nothing…”

“But if you don’t reach out, it won’t be there.” She sighed. “Jason, I was making plans to move out while you were in Puerto Rico. I hadn’t spoken to Sonny, but I thought…there must be another apartment in this building that we could make as secure as the penthouse. Because you just…wouldn’t look me in the eye and tell me that you were unsure of your role in my daughter’s life. Instead, you spent months avoiding the question, to the point that I thought you couldn’t love her because her Ric’s blood ran through her veins.”

“I never cared about that.” He shook his head. “But…I knew you were thinking it. Even before you said it that day in the nursery. Carly warned me for months. Sonny did, too. But I just didn’t…I don’t know. I would tell myself to stop it, to go to your appointments and be involved, but I just couldn’t…do it.”

“I don’t want you to think this was all your fault, though.” Elizabeth nudged his side. “Because it’s not like I spoke up either. We’d spent months avoiding each other’s existence, trying to pretend we could move on. I hated every minute you were with Courtney, but I kept telling myself maybe she gave you what you needed. Maybe she could make you happier than I could, and I really thought….that would be enough for me.”

“With Courtney…it was just…” He took a deep breath and looked at her. “I cared about her. I won’t lie and say I didn’t. But I didn’t at first. And never the way she needed me to. At first, it was just…you were gone, and she was there. I kept…hearing your words about being Sonny’s enforcer and that was all…I wanted to make that go away…”

“I am so sorry I said those things to you,” she murmured. “I…lash out when I’m angry, but I shouldn’t have done that. And I shouldn’t have frozen you out when you came to see me the next day.”

“Knowing what I know now…and even what I knew then, I knew how upset you were. But it just…kept spiraling out of control. Because Alcazar was still out there, and Sonny was still…insisting I guard Courtney, and I didn’t want to rock the boat with him, because he was still in difficult place. And then you went off with Lucky.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Yeah. It was just to get my mind off things. I thought I’d head out of town for a while, figure things out. Get my head clear, get away and maybe I’d be less upset when I came home.” Elizabeth sighed. “But when I came back…you were married to Brenda. And I just…I felt like I didn’t even know you anymore. And I was…almost sure something was happening with Courtney. So…I was angry. And then…” She looked away, looked at their joined hands. “Ric was there.”

“Because of me,” he said tightly, but she shook her head.

“He approached me because of you, but I was lonely. A-and I wasn’t feeling particularly good about myself. You know…maybe if Courtney had just…been a brunette.” She huffed. “Another dumb blonde. Story of my life.”

He frowned, shaking his head. “What?”

“All my life, guys went for Sarah first,” Elizabeth clarified. “Even when I moved to town, Lucky wanted Sarah. He got over her, and we connected. But you know, in the end…he slept with her. And then you and Courtney, and Ric and Faith.” She grimaced. “Why can’t there be more redheads? Anyway. So, there I was, in my eyes, left for another blonde, feeling like I could never quite measure up, and Ric…had apparently done some really good research.” She rolled her eyes, feeling stupid all over again.

“Elizabeth, he was a con artist,” Jason told her. “He snowed Carly. He snowed Hector Ruiz and Daniel Vega, and without going into details, to say that they’re not exactly gullible would be an understatement. It was my fault Ric went after you, and it was my fault you were in a position to feel vulnerable.”

“Jason, you do not get take responsibility for everything. Let me own up to my own mistakes. There were signs Ric wasn’t telling the truth. I would catch him in lies. He could never explain why he had to work for Sonny. But…h-he was charming. And he made time for me. And he told me how much he cared about me. He gave me all the words that I wanted from you and never got. But that’s my fault. For thinking that words matter more than actions.” She shook her head. “Anyway. None of this is really the point. What I was trying to say before we got…off on the topic of…well…I was trying to say that you don’t reach out for what you want, but I’m afraid to rock the boat.”

“So…when you were talking about how we were only living in the moment,” Jason said, slowly, “you didn’t see it…us…as temporary. But that we were just…ignoring the next step.”

“Yeah. I mean, we were just…working things out. Jason, we’ve barely dated. In fact…” She laughed slightly. “We dated more before we were involved, so I guess if we count all those rides and the pool playing, and the hot chocolate on the docks…anyway, we skipped all the stuff in between. We’d barely been together and I was living with you. I was afraid that if we talked about Cady in anything other than an abstract concept that needed to be protected from Ric, you would…look at me like I was insane for suggesting that five minutes after we’re together, I’d like you to help raise my daughter. Be her father.”

“I…wanted her to be mine,” Jason admitted. “And maybe that was part of the problem. I didn’t care that Ric was her biological father. I still don’t. He and Sonny share the same blood, and it doesn’t bother me. I just…” He paused. “I would think about her, and know that it was my fault she wasn’t. That if I had just…shown you how much I loved you. If I had told you the truth, or…just shipped Zander off to a damn safe house with a guard…that she could have been mine. And maybe that bothered me more than I’d like.”

“Well, that’s natural.” When he just sighed, she nudged him again with her shoulder. “It is. I don’t regret having her. I love her exactly as she is, but I’d be a liar if I didn’t wish she were yours. I know you don’t like to do that, the what-ifs, but I can’t stop sometimes. So, Jason, she’s not your blood. But you know how it is with Sonny and Carly? Blood doesn’t make a family. They’re your family, it’s why Carly decided to…” She raised her eyebrows. “I don’t know…look after me. Sometimes, you get to choose your family. And I want to choose mine. I want to choose you for me and for Cady.”

“And I want that,” Jason said, his voice low but fervent. “I want to choose you and Cady to be my family. I love you, Elizabeth. I can’t…take back all those times I should have said it and didn’t, but I can say it from now on.”

“I love you, too.” She leaned forward and kissed him with all the love and passion inside her, wrapping her arms around his neck. He deepened the kiss, nipping at her lower lip so she parted them.

He pressed her back into the mattress and she started to lose herself in the moment, before remembering that, unfortunately…she’d given birth the month before. “Jason,” she murmured as his lips trailed down her throat. “As much as I’d like to see this happen…”

His breath was hot on her neck, and he drew back slightly. “You can’t, though.”

“Nope.” She grinned, dancing her fingers up his chest. “At least two more weeks. I go back and see Kelly, then. Maybe she’ll give me the green light.”

He dropped his head against her chest, and she giggled a little, knowing exactly how he felt. She wanted to be close to him, to feel him inside her, knowing that for the first time in years, they had no secrets. No fears. They had done what seemed all those months ago to be impossible…they’d been honest and now they couldn’t even celebrate.

“I should go talk to Sonny.” He rose to his feet, and drew her up with him. “Because you’re right. We need to figure out what Ric’s plan is. I don’t want to put our lives on hold anymore.” He kissed her again, and she almost forgot her doctor’s medical advice.

“I love you,” she murmured against his lips. “And I love that I can say that to you. I never thought we’d get back here. I thought we’d missed our chance.”

Cady’s cry came over the monitor and broke their kiss. She sighed and wiggled her shoulders. “Well, then I guess it’s a good thing we couldn’t do more, because it sounds like Cady’s ready to be fed.” She brushed another kiss against his lips. “You go talk to Sonny, and find something for dinner. I’ll go feed our daughter.”

She glanced over her shoulder to find him smiling at her, and was ridiculously relieved that Carly had talked her out of moving out while he was in Puerto Rico. She might have missed this moment, and she was done wasting time.

She, She is the words that I can’t find
How can the only thing that’s killing me make me feel so alive
And I couldn’t speak
I couldn’t breathe to save my life
All of my chances swim like sinking ships
This time it’s it
I’ll drown or make her mine
– She (For Liz), Parachute

Early Wednesday, December 4, 2003

Harborview Towers: Penthouse Hallway

It was not long after one in the morning when Sonny and Carly exited the elevator and turned the corner to find Max waiting for them. “Hey, Max. Leticia and the boys doing all right?”

“Yes, sir, Boss. Been quiet since about ten.” Max nodded, moving to open the door. “How’s Miss Webber and the baby?”

“Perfect.” Carly stepped inside the penthouse, and then leaned against the doorjamb. “Six pounds, eleven ounces. She was born at 7:05 PM, so if I remember correctly…Dominic won the pool.”

Max huffed. “If the kid could have just waited three more hours, I’d have had some good money.” He cleared his throat. “Jason make it to the hospital?”

“Yep,” Sonny nodded with a half-smile. “I think he’s hanging at the hospital tonight. Not really interested in letting either of them out of his sight, so…” he shrugged and looked at Carly. “Go ahead, and tell him, you know you want to.”

“Bite me, Sonny.” Carly lifted her chin. “She named her after me.”

Max frowned. “But we painted the damn wall—”

“She added Carly’s name to the end of her already chosen name,” Sonny clarified, rolling his eyes. “Cadence Audrey Caroline Morgan. I figure I’ll have to follow Carly around for a few days to make sure people don’t think there are going to be two Carlys running around.”

“The absolute horror,” Max agreed.

Carly stuck her tongue out of him and went inside the penthouse, collapsing on the couch while Sonny gave Max a few instructions and then closed the door. “I have a namesake, Sonny. You can’t take that from me. I watched Elizabeth and Jason sign the papers for her birth certificate. It’s official.”

“And a year ago, you’d have been horrified at the thought of Muffin Webber naming her kid for you.” Sonny joined her on the couch and just grinned at her. “My, how the world has changed.”

“Ah…” Carly closed her eyes. “Screw you.” She opened them again and looked at her husband. “They’re going to be okay, aren’t they? I saw Jason’s face when he held Cady for the first time, and it was everything I think Elizabeth wanted. He looked…”

“He looked like a father,” Sonny murmured. “And I think it was a good first step. But it’s not enough to just look at her with love. He’s going to have to step up.”

“Yeah…but…” Carly sighed and turned her face into the cushions, exhausted. “I also saw her face when he held the baby, and Elizabeth looked relieved, like she’d been trying not to hope for it…and then when Jason gave Cady to Monica, introducing her with his last name…Maybe he did that for appearances, but he didn’t have to. No one would have said anything if he’d just said, here’s Cady. But he didn’t.”

“It’s a good first step,” Sonny repeated. He hesitated. “You were right a few weeks ago, when you said that if you could make Jason happy, it would mean you hadn’t broken him. Maybe I wanted to believe we were past all of that, that things had changed…but…” He leaned his head back against the sofa and looked out into the room. “We did break him. You, me, Robin, maybe even Elizabeth a little. He never trusted easily to begin with, you know? And Robin shattered him. Before he could recover from that, you drop-kicked him, and then I pushed him over a cliff.” He let out a little bitter laugh. “Hell, Elizabeth only broke his heart. Almost nothing compared to the three of us combined, because he broke hers, too.”

“Sonny…”

“Okay, maybe we didn’t break him, but we did…we did chip away at his ability to believe in people, even if he’d never admit it. He told me he couldn’t believe Elizabeth would stay. She never had before, and it wasn’t like people didn’t lie. Robin had promised to keep the secret, but she’d blindsided him. You asked him to be Michael’s father…and I taught him about honor and loyalty. And look at what we did to him.”

“I thought he’d forgiven us,” Carly murmured. She leaned into Sonny’s side, her cheek against his shoulder. “And I think he did. But he never forgot. So you kicked some sense into him?”

“I hope so,” he sighed. “Because I’m beginning to see your point. If he can be happy, if he can build a life with Elizabeth and Cady, then maybe we don’t have to feel guilty anymore.” He kissed the top of her head. “I love you, Carly, but I wish like hell we could have figured it out without betraying him.”

“I know.” Carly closed her eyes, and remembered the look on his face when he’d seen her on the steps that terrible night. To know he’d been standing there, with a gunshot wound. Maybe Jason had forgiven them, but she had never quite been able to forgive herself. Not all the way. Not until she knew he would be okay.

General Hospital: Elizabeth’s Room

Elizabeth yawned and hastily covered her mouth, with a sheepish smile. “Sorry, Gram,” she said to her grandmother, who was rocking Cady across the room. “I just…haven’t been able to sleep much. These hospital beds aren’t nearly as nice as mine at home.”

Audrey laughed and laid Cady back in her bassinet. “Well, you’ll be out of here tomorrow. I know you’re eager to get home and settle Cady in her nursery.” She perched on the edge of Elizabeth’s bed. “Are you and Jason all right, darling? After you kicked him out of the delivery room—”

“I was…” Elizabeth sighed and closed her eyes. “I was angry at him, Gram. I know the trip was important, and I’m not just saying that. I know he had to go, but it didn’t change how I felt about it. I just…” She hesitated. “I love him. You were right about that, and we’ve been trying really hard to make it better, to make a family, but…”

“You know that your grandfather was the love of my life,” Audrey said softly, brushing Elizabeth’s hair off her forehead. “But he and I spent years fighting it, because there were days when it was just too difficult. We made mistakes, we said and did things that hurt one another terribly. We both tried to move on with other people, but there came a day, when we realized that no matter what we’d done to try and destroy our love, it still beat within our hearts.” She took Elizabeth’s hand in hers and laced their fingers together. “Falling in love is the easy part, Elizabeth. It’s everything that comes after it that’s difficult…and it’s what makes it worthwhile.”

“I know that…” Elizabeth paused. “We just…started this all wrong. Backwards. I wasn’t sure if he could look at Cady without thinking of how she came to be, how many people we hurt, and the mistakes—”

“Elizabeth, did you not see at that man holding your daughter?” Audrey interrupted. “The look on his face when he handed his daughter to his mother for the first time…that is not a man who sees an obligation, and you know Monica is going to live on that moment for months.”

And Audrey was right, because she had seen Jason holding Cady, and she’d seen the love in his eyes, the way his face had lit up. And when he’d given her to Monica, calling her our daughter, and adding his last name…it was everything she wanted that moment to be.

Which meant that Jason had been hiding that love for months. No matter how much she had begged for honesty, he’d kept that locked away.

“I do believe differently now. I know he loves her. I just…want to make sure I do everything I can to give Cady a good life. With parents who love her always…” She cleared her throat. “But Nadine told me all summer to just talk to him. Carly told me to talk to him. And I never did. I let the way I thought he felt color my emotions, and I told him that he hadn’t…given me a reason to stay…except I know he wants me to.”

“So maybe, my darling, the next time you talk to him, you actually listen.” Audrey leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “You’ve been through so much, Elizabeth. But you know, if it lead you to this point, to that beautiful little girl, then perhaps…it was worth the journey.”

“Now, that I believe,” Elizabeth laughed, squeezing her grandmother’s hand. “I can’t believe you’re on Jason’s side, Gram. You realize how impossible that sounds to me.”

“Well, I could have fought you tooth and nail, but you made it abundantly clear years ago you would do as you like.” Audrey smiled. “I learned that for sure the day you ran away with Lucky Spencer, and if that hadn’t gotten through my skull, the moment you told me you were moving out because I trying to send Jason away.”

“You know…Gram….” Elizabeth winced. “Nothing happened that winter. I know what people were saying, but…it wasn’t like that. Jason needed a place to stay, and I was just helping him—”

“Well…” Audrey leaned back. “I can’t say I’m not relieved. You were a little young, but…” she sighed. “He was always so good to you. And even now, I see the way he looks at you, how he treats you. I will never understand his lifestyle, but it is not for me to accept.” She touched Elizabeth’s chin. “All I want is for you to light up again, and you did that last night when you brought that angel into this world, and when you saw Jason hold her, that light was burning brightly. Hold on to that feeling, and I’ll be satisfied.”

The door opened and Elizabeth’s eyes widened when she saw Emily step in, hesitantly. “Hey…do you…can I come in?”

Elizabeth felt her grandmother tense at her side, so she patted her grandmother’s shoulder. “It’s all right, Gram. Can you give us some time?” She smiled. “Maybe go develop your film and show off to the rest of the staff.”

“That is an excellent suggestion.” Audrey kissed Elizabeth’s forehead, kissed Cady goodbye before pausing next to Emily. “She’s just had a baby, so I hope you’re planning on being civil.”

With that, she left the room, leaving the former best friends alone. Emily shifted uncomfortably and looked toward the bassinet. “The…hospital gossip is that you named her Cadence.”

“I did.” Elizabeth nodded. “Cadence Audrey Caroline Morgan.” She took a sip of water her grandmother had left at her bedside. “I didn’t get the chance to thank you after…the attack in October—”

“No, no.” Emily held up her hand. “You have nothing to thank me for.” She sighed. “God, this is so much harder than I thought it would be, because I had planned it all out in my head—what I would say to you, and then what I would say to Jason, but it’s all gone now. I…I’ve been a bitch.”

Elizabeth arched an eyebrow. “No arguments here.”

Emily smiled then, somewhat sheepishly. “And you didn’t deserve it. I can…see it now. After your botched kidnapping, I felt so guilty. And even before that, I was trying to understand why I was so angry, when you were right all along — I had broken up with Zander over a year earlier.”

“Em…”

“And I never once asked you to explain,” Emily hurried to continue. “I did what I always do with you. I looked at the situation and judged without context. Like I did with Jason that winter. I assumed you were sleeping with him, even though you would have told me something like that, and then you rightfully refused to tell me anything substantial when I was such a brat. I always do that to you, Liz. I’m sorry.”

“Emily…that was years ago—”

“But it starts back there,” Emily said, stepping towards her. “I was so angry when Lucky came home, because he didn’t come home. Not all the way. We all knew it. And I was so angry with you—”

“Me?” Elizabeth repeated. “Why?”

“Because you were Lucky’s girlfriend. You loved him, and he loved you, and you were always so perfect together. And I thought if you’d stop…” She huffed, rolling her eyes. “It sounds so stupid when I say it out loud, but I thought if you’d stop worrying about Jason, and just concentrated on Lucky, he would come back all the way. Except he never did. Even now, when he’s mostly okay, he’s still not Lucky.”

“Oh…Emily…”

“So I was angry about that, even though it was my fault, too. We all refused to see Lucky wasn’t the same. We ignored all the signs, blamed you for them. And he spent so much longer under Helena’s control. If we could have seen it earlier…so I blamed you even more, because you knew him better than anyone else, so if you didn’t see the signs, it was your fault. You weren’t looking hard enough.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes and tried not to be annoyed, tried to remember Emily was a year younger than her, that they had all handled Lucky’s problems in their own ways. “So this anger fed into your reaction over Zander.”

“That’s what Lainey, my therapist says,” Emily said. “I started seeing her after your kidnapping attempt. And it’s why I came home, and immediately befriended my brother’s girlfriend, even though I knew he’d broken up with you and started seeing her right away. I let what Courtney tell me color our conversations, because I was always looking for reasons why everything was your fault.” She took a deep breath. “But it wasn’t. I’m just sorry I had to sacrifice our friendship, my relationship with my brother…” And now she cast her eyes towards the bassinet. “And chances of knowing my niece.”

Because Emily did look upset, did appear regretful, Elizabeth just sighed. “I want to say that we can forgive each other. Because we’ve gone through so much, but I just…I don’t know, Em. I really needed you last spring, and you couldn’t hear me.”

“I know.” Emily swiped at her eyes. “And I made the situation so much worse when I hinted to Ric. I would take that back a thousand times if I could, Elizabeth. I promise you that. I wish I could make it better, that I could make it so it never happened—”

“But it’s not like I’ve never made a mistake.” Elizabeth said. She bit her lip. “We may never be that close again, I don’t know. But at the end of the day, we go back a long way. And you are Jason’s sister. He loves you. So…” She shrugged. “Go pick up your niece.”

Emily’s eyes brightened. “Really?”

“Yes. I know you’ll love her as much as we do,” Elizabeth said, believing that for the first time. “So…what are you waiting for?”

Emily scooted over and lifted the newborn into her arms. “Oh, she’s so gorgeous. You’re calling her Cady for short? I just love that. It’s original, and it’s all her own.” She made a cooing noise. “Oh, she is going to have Jason wrapped around her finger, I can just see it now.”

Elizabeth smiled faintly. She was hoping that was true, but it was nice to hear others say the same.

The door to the room opened and Jason stepped, in a brown bag from Kelly’s. His eyes zeroed in on his sister, and Elizabeth saw him tense. “Emily.”

“Jason…” Emily took a deep breath. “I just…came to clear the air with Elizabeth. To meet my niece.” She looked down at Cady. “Elizabeth…said I could hold her.”

Jason glanced at her, and she was grateful for that—for him to look to her for confirmation, because she knew the distance between them had been a result of his protection of her, of her health. “Elizabeth?”

“Jason, relax.” Elizabeth shifted in her bed. “Tell me that’s Ruby’s chili, or at least as good as Don can make it.”

“It is.” Jason set the bag on her table that hung partially over the bed and stripped off his leather jacket. He looked at Emily. “So…things are good?”

“They’re better,” Emily clarified. She stepped towards them and handed Cady over to him. “I…have a lot to make up for. To both of you. I’ve been…working some things out, and I just…” She took a deep breath, and smiled even though her eyes were miserable. Jason wasn’t giving her much to work with. “I have to get back to work, anyway. My break’s over. I’ll…call you, Liz.”

When she was gone, Jason adjusted Cady a little higher in his arms, but Elizabeth was pleased to see he made no move to hand her over or put her back in the bassinet. “It was really okay?”

“Yeah. We cleared the air. We’re not back to where we were, but…” Elizabeth hesitated. “We were honest with each other, and that’s…important.”

“Yeah.” Jason took a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have gone to Puerto Rico. I knew it even when I decided to go, and Sonny warned me, but I thought…with what you’d said after the baby shower, it would be…”

“Jason, the day is going to come when you and I are going to sit down and we’re going to be honest with each other again. Like that day we sat in your penthouse after I moved in, and cleared most of the air.” Elizabeth reached out for his band. “Because if this is ever going to work, we’re both going to have to stop protecting ourselves. I don’t want to live half a life when I think that I…and my daughter…that we’d be so much happier with you.”

“I want you both to be happy with me, too,” Jason admitted.

“But that day is not this day,” Elizabeth said. “Not when I’m less than twenty-four hours out of labor, and I can smell that chili. Now gimme.”

Thursday, December 5, 2003

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Jason waited for Francis to push open the door before he stepped inside, Cady’s baby carrier in his one hand and Elizabeth’s duffel bag over his shoulder. He stepped aside to watch as Elizabeth gingerly stepped over the threshold. Behind her, Cody and Marco had flowers, stuffed animals and other various presents Elizabeth had received while in the hospital. “Do you want that stuff in the nursery?”

“Um…” Elizabeth paused by the desk and considered. Jason set Cady on top of the desk and the bag next to her. “Yes. But…just put it in the empty corner, because I don’t know how I’m going to arrange any of it yet.”

“Sure thing, Miss Webber.” Cody nodded, and he squared his shoulders, probably trying to look as tough and professional as always, but it was difficult while he was carrying the giant teddy bear Nikolas Cassadine had had delivered. He and Marco started up the stairs.

“Do you want to sit?” Jason asked. “Carly set up the portable crib down here if you don’t want to take Cady upstairs just yet—”

“Jason…” She put a hand on his arm. “Relax. I’m tired, and I’m sore. But I’m fine. I’ve been sitting for the last week, too uncomfortable to move.” She leaned over Cady’s carrier and smoothed the baby’s almost non-existent fluff of dark hair. “I’m nervous,” she confessed. She smiled as the two guards, finished with their duty, headed out of the penthouse.

Jason frowned. “Why? We have everything—”

“I’ve never been a mother before,” Elizabeth explained. “It’s easy right now, because she’s so good. She sleeps, but…” She huffed. “She’s going to cry, and what if I don’t know what kind of cry it is? How do I know if she’s hungry, or scared or lonely?”

“It’s not easy.” Jason lifted the carrier in his hand and led her over to the sofa, where he put Cady on the coffee table, knowing Elizabeth would sit. “I didn’t know with Michael, but I figured…if he was hungry, he’d eat. So I’d give him a bottle, and if he didn’t want that, then if I held him, he wouldn’t scared or lonely. And eventually, he was on a routine with his feedings, and you know…their crying is different. It’s not always the same for every emotion.”

Elizabeth froze, her hand halfway in the air before turning back to him. “Jason…”

He didn’t meet her eyes, just stared at the baby, hoping she would wake up, stop this conversation. He wasn’t ready for it. To admit to Elizabeth that he hadn’t trusted her. Not all the way.

“I never…” Elizabeth cleared her throat. “I should have thought about it. About Michael. And…” She twisted on the sofa, and he only sighed when he saw her wince. “But I guess…I just didn’t. I…” Her shoulders slumped. “Did you think I would take her away?”

“I…” And of course, now that she was looking at him, asking him this question, he realized just what an idiot he’d been, because of course she wouldn’t take Cady away. “No. But—”

“I guess you didn’t think Robin or Carly would either,” Elizabeth said, but he saw the hurt in her eyes, in the way her mouth was set in a line.

“Elizabeth—” But he had no defense. None at all. “It’s not that I…”

“No, I guess…” Elizabeth sighed, her fingers feathering over her daughter’s cheek. “I guess I even understand it. You loved Robin, and for God knows what reason, you trusted Carly. And it’s not…like I haven’t given you reason to distrust me—”

He was not going to let her blame herself for his idiocy. “Elizabeth, it’s not…” He took a deep breath. “I didn’t…consciously think you would let me fall in love with your daughter and then take her away. I never thought you’d do what Robin did. And I know you’re not insane enough to do what Carly did. But…”

“You’ve been telling me all along in your own way.” Elizabeth tucked her hair behind her ears. “I just didn’t hear what you trying to tell me. I never stay.” She shrugged. “Not news. But Jason…you never stay either.”

“I—” And he couldn’t deny that. He had walked away first, that winter before Lucky was back. And he’d left town after she walked away in the park. And maybe she had physically left the penthouse the year before, but he’d pushed her out, he could see that now. “I know that.”

“So what are we left with?” she murmured. “Two people who don’t trust the other to stay. Can…can we even get past that?”

“If we want to.” Jason reached for her hand. “We used to trust one another. To take what the other said for face value.”

“When we were just friends,” Elizabeth replied with a smile. “But you started trying to protect me that winter, in my studio. Started trying to make decisions for me, when I told you wanted you around. Trying to protect to me. It’s…when our feelings started to change, at least for me, I started…to become guarded because I was…” She laughed, an almost exasperated sound. “I was so afraid you’d see how I felt on my face, and I wasn’t ready to deal with how I felt, much less to have you let me down gently.”

“Why would I have done that?” Jason frowned. “You knew…how I felt about you.”

“Not…entirely.” Elizabeth pursed her lips, trying to explain. “I thought I’d see you look at me, particularly that second time you stayed in the studio, when I was seeing Lucky. And I…I guess…I had mostly assumed that the way I’d felt the year before, had faded. I mean, you were this gorgeous guy with a great smile who spent half the time living with me with your shirt open because I was changing your wound.” Her cheeks flushed and he grinned. “And you were this great listener.” She wrinkled her nose. “I saw you looking at me, sometimes then. But I didn’t…say anything then, because…” she shrugged.

“I’m not sure what would have happened if either of us had given in to how we felt then,” Jason said quietly. He looked at their fingers laced together. “I thought maybe you were too young. And you were starting to get past Lucky, but you weren’t there yet. I was…dealing with my own stuff. But…that last day, when I tried to say goodbye.”

“I wanted you to kiss me,” Elizabeth confessed, with a guilty smile. “When you leaned in toward me, I thought…just for a second, you might.”

“I considered it, but it wouldn’t have been fair.” Jason exhaled slowly. “So you’re right. I was already making decisions for you because of how I felt. I should have kissed you any of the dozen times I thought about it. Every time you hugged me, or kissed me on the cheek. How many times we came close that last time I was home…I kept waiting for you to make the decision, because it was your life that would change. You were the one who had to make the choice.”

“We’ve wasted a lot of time, Jason,” she said softly. “Are we going to keep wasting it? Or are we going to stop looking for reasons to walk away. It’d be easy. It’d be safer, maybe. But I…” She closed her eyes and seemed to come to some sort of inner decision. “I’ve loved you since I was eighteen years old, and maybe I’ve even been in love with you for as long. But I don’t want to be in love by myself anymore. It’s too hard. It’s lonely.”

“You’re not.” Jason reached out, and feathered the back of his hand down her cheek. “You’re not alone. I…I love you, too. And I don’t want to waste another minute.”

And apparently, neither did Cady, because the newborn’s eyes fluttered, she hiccupped, and then she wailed, and their conversation was over for the moment.

Being me can only mean
Feeling scared to breathe
If you leave me then I’ll be afraid of everything
That makes me anxious, gives me patience, calms me down
Lets me face this, let me sleep, and when I wake up (I wake up, I wake up)
Let me be
– Afraid, The Neighbourhood

Tuesday, December 2, 2003

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

“All right, baby watch, Day Three,” Carly said as Francis pushed the door open and she bustled in, pushing Morgan’s portable bassinet. “Let’s pop this sucker out today, what do you say?”

Elizabeth smiled, but just leaned her head back against the arm of the sofa. “From your mouth to God’s ears. Ugh.” Since Kelly had told her at her doctor’s appointment three days earlier that she was two centimeters dilated and that it could be any day now, Carly and Sonny had decided she should ever ever be alone.

Ever. Ever. Carly still remembered her difficult delivery of Michael, and Sonny…well, he was just a control freak. So they both alternated in the penthouse during the day, with the help of Audrey and Nadine, and Marco and Ricky, her evening guards, alternated spending the night in one of the guest rooms while the other sat on the door.

She hadn’t had a moment’s peace in three days, but she wouldn’t know what to do with that peace anyway. Strange that the penthouse seemed more quiet without Jason since he wasn’t much of a talker, but well…such was life. He’d made the choice to leave and his missing the birth of her child told her everything she needed to know about how he felt about her daughter.

“Morgan’s taking his nap, so let’s just hope he stays down for a few hours.” Carly grinned down at him and then at Elizabeth. “I’m getting good at this mom thing. Michael’s a breeze, always was. By the time I came home from the nuthouse, Jason had him on such a schedule that I barely had to do any work—” She coughed. “Not that we’re talking about it.”

“It’s fine, Carly.” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “Just because Jason and I aren’t going to work out—” She paused when she heard Carly muttering under her breath across the room. “What was that?”

“You’re both dumb bastards,” Carly said, her hands on her hips. “I bet you didn’t even let him get a word in edgewise while you broke his heart, and then he’s dumb enough to let you get away with it. This is what happens when I don’t take a hands on role in helping.”

“What exactly would you have done differently?” Elizabeth demanded. “I gave him months to step up, to talk about the future. I asked him dozens of times—”

“Ah, can it, Muffin. You and I both know you did not ask him straight out.” Carly waved her hand. “I don’t blame you, because I told Jason what you were thinking because a blind man could have seen it, but he wasn’t going to ask straight out either, because you were both so damn sure of the answers.”

“Ugh. Carly—”

“Nope. You didn’t say to his face: Jason, I love you. I want to be a family. Do you want to be a family with me with Cady? Do you want her to be your daughter?” Carly huffed. “I told him that’s what you were freaking out about, but does anyone ever listen to Carly? Nope. And he never said to your face: Muffin, I love you—”

“—he wouldn’t call me Muffin, for one—”

“I want Cady to be mine, blah, blah. Cowards.” Carly tucked Morgan in more tightly. “But I guess I figure it’s what he didn’t say that matters.”

“Carly.” Elizabeth looked at her. “Is that why you were nice to me? And asked me to be Morgan’s godmother? Because you were pushing me and Jason together? Because if that’s the only reason, then let me know right now so I can be prepared for things to go back to the way they used to be.”

“Oh…” Carly sighed. “You mean, like Courtney said that day at Kelly’s, that you were only family until Jason dropped you, like she was. Hey, I was only nice to her because I thought she’d be good for Jason. That wasn’t true. You…” She eyed Elizabeth. “You’re different. Sonny’s not going to let me get rid of you as easily.”

“Would you if you could?”

“It’s usually a reflex,” Carly admitted. “I think Jason learned it from me. You push people away before they can leave you. You test them. And if they go, they failed.” She sighed. “You know what’s what he’s been doing to you. He thought you were going to leave anyway.”

“And he did nothing to stop me, like always.” Elizabeth closed her eyes and winced as Cady whacked her in the ribs. “If it were just me, Carly, I’d stay, but—”

“It’ll never be just you again, so you’ve got to plan accordingly.” Carly shrugged. “We are where we are. I’m not giving up.” She frowned. “Muffin, you’re making that face again.”

“I think Cady’s trying to move into my bladder or…something.” Elizabeth shifted and started to sit up. “Crap. Can you help?”

Carly came forward and helped Elizabeth into a sitting position. “You sure that’s all it is?”

“Don’t get too excited—” Elizabeth broke off, as everything inside her clenched at once and she lost her breath. “Oh, son of a bitch.”

“Contraction?” Carly demanded. “Or the Braxton-Hicks like they were last month? Tell me, Muffin—”

“Remember…my grandmother told me that I’d know the difference between false and real contractions?” Elizabeth asked. “Um…I do. Get the clock out. Start timing these.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Carly grabbed the stopwatch from the table, and then headed for the door. “Francis!” she yelped, pulling it open. “I’m gonna need Sonny here stat. And get Leticia so she can take Morgan home and pick Michael up. We got a baby coming!”

She turned back to Elizabeth and sat next to her on the couch, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Muffin…you’re crying—”

“I thought I could do this,” Elizabeth whispered, her fists clenched. “I thought I was okay with Jason missing her birth, but I love him so much, I really do and I just don’t understand why he doesn’t love me, why he doesn’t love her?”

“Oh…” Carly hesitated and then glanced around as Sonny came through door. “Hey. Get her bag out of the closet. She just had her first noticeable contraction, so we’re waiting for the next one to time it.”

“Got it. I’ll call ahead at the hospital,” Sonny said. He opened the closet and pulled out a duffle bag that had been prepared a few weeks earlier. “You want me to call your grandmother? Nadine?”

“Um…” Elizabeth gasped and blindly reached out for something to hold. Carly offered her hand and Elizabeth clutched it. “My gram…yes, but um….Nadine had to go to New York to see her sister. Some sort of emergency, how long was that, Carly?”

“Seven minutes between contractions.” Carly narrowed her eyes. “Unless your water breaks, we’re supposed to wait, right?”

“Um…” Elizabeth hesitated. “I may… have been having some odd twinges all day. I thought…” She closed her eyes. “Carly, don’t let him call Jason,” she whispered. “I don’t want him to feel like he has to hurry back—”

“Muffin…” Carly glanced at her husband but Sonny had stepped into the hallway to make some phone calls. “I know you’re angry at him—”

“Please. I don’t want Jason there. He doesn’t want to be there, so I don’t want him there.” Another sharp wave of pain. “Oh, man, Carly…that was one was faster—”

“We’re down to five minutes. Sonny!” Carly called.

Harborview Towers: Hallway

Sonny punched Jason’s speed dial and was relieved when his friend didn’t ignore the call. “Jase, how far away are you?”

“Two hours out of Port Charles,” Jason said. “What’s going on?”

“Elizabeth’s in labor. We’re not leaving for the hospital yet, it just really kind of started…” He glanced back towards the door where Francis was standing, alert. He hadn’t told Carly or Elizabeth Jason was on his way home, because he intended to have it out with the bastard as soon as he stepped off the plane. “Call when you land, and I’ll let you know if we’ve gone to the hospital.”

“All…all right. Is…she in a lot of pain?”

“Do you really give a damn?” Sonny snarled. “Because if you did, I’d be on that plane and you’d be standing here making phone calls and you’d be holding her hand instead of Carly. For once, Jason, we’re cleaning up your mess. But you’re coming to the damn hospital if I have to drag you kicking and screaming.” He slammed his phone shut.

Francis raised his eyebrows. “If Miss Webber doesn’t want him there—”

“Oh, don’t start with me, Francis,” Sonny said, dragging his hands through his hair. “They’re going to work this out, eventually. Even if I have to lock them in a room until they do. And when they do, he’ll kick himself for missing it.”

“I see Mrs. C is rubbing off on you.”

“Sonny!” Carly called from inside. She stepped up to the door. “What did Kelly say?”

“Bring her in when the contractions are four minutes apart,” Sonny said. “And Jason was flying back today anyway, he’ll land in two hours.”

“Oh, frick. You called him? She doesn’t want him there.”

“Well…” Sonny scowled. “She’ll have to suck it up. I got a call from Vega last night wondering what the hell we were doing up here with the father of this supposedly in danger child off gallivanting out of the country. I can’t have them on my ass right now.”

“Fine.” Carly folded her arms across her chest and nodded toward the inside of the penthouse. “You go tell the woman in labor she’ll have to suck it up. Go right ahead.”

“I hate everyone in this world right now,” Sonny said fervently.

General Hospital: Maternity Ward

The elevator doors slid open and Jason started for the nurse’s station to ask which room Elizabeth was in. He had prolonged his trip in Puerto Rico as long as possible, but he couldn’t put it off coming home any longer. Ric, if he’d been there, was now long gone and he worried that the problems down there had been a distraction, to divide their resources.

Before he reached the hub, he heard Sonny call his name. He turned to find Carly and Sonny standing in the waiting room. “Hey. I got here as soon as I could—”

“Audrey’s in with Muffin right now,” Carly said briskly. “She wanted a little alone time with her grandmother. Her contractions slowed down once we got here, but her water broke about ten minutes ago. She’s dilated six centimeters.”

“Is she in pain?” Jason asked, feeling completely useless and ignoring the heat of Sonny’s glare. “How is she?”

“Well, bastard, you can go in and find out for yourself,” Carly hissed. “If you even give a damn, because I’m the one who was there when this happened and she asked me not to tell you.”

Jason’s hands had been in fists at his side, but at that, they loosened and he swallowed hard. “She doesn’t want me in there, does she?”

“I don’t know, but I know that Sonny keeps telling me we don’t have a choice. You at least have to make this look good.” Carly jabbed him in the chest. “You listen to me, you dumb son of a bitch, you’re going to go in there and you’re going to be the best father you know how to be. I know you’re amazing at it, I know you want this baby. I know you want the Muffin, so what the hell is your goddamn problem?”

“Carly.” Sonny took her by the shoulders and pulled her back. She turned on him, her voice raw with anger and pain.

“No, Sonny, he’s wrecking everything and he doesn’t even see it—”

“Carly, it’s not the time or place,” Sonny told her quietly. He looked at Jason. “Vega’s suspicious, and if he is, he’d be talking to Ruiz. Hector Ruiz is not a man you want looking twice at your personal affairs, so whatever your issues with Elizabeth are, you need to at least go in there and make an appearance.”

General Hospital: Elizabeth’s Room

Elizabeth was floating a little from the drugs, but her head hurt and her eyes were tired. She just wanted to have her daughter. She wanted her to be here, so she could start the next part of her life.

“Darling, just breathe,” Audrey murmured. “I don’t understand why Jason had to go out of town so close to the due date—”

“Unavoidable, Gram,” Elizabeth murmured. She saw the door push open, and then Jason was there, standing hesitantly just inside. “What…” She remembered her grandmother at her side. “You’re here.”

“I was flying back today…” Jason stepped forward and cleared his throat. “Sonny called me, so I came straight here. How…are you doing?”

Elizabeth glanced at her grandmother, who was beaming. “Gram, can…Jason and I have a moment?”

“Of course, darling.” Audrey kissed her forehead and squeezed Jason’s arm as she passed out of the room. When the door closed behind her, Elizabeth let her head fall to the pillows.

“What are you doing here?” she asked flatly. “Making it look good for everyone else?”

“Elizabeth, I wanted to be here,” Jason said. “I just…didn’t know how to tell you what I was thinking—”

“Well, that’s too bad for you, because now I no longer care—” She gasped, as one of her contractions appeared to break through the haze of the drugs and steal her breath. Jason was at her side, and she found herself clutching him, trying to get through the pain.

“I know I made you think I didn’t want Cady—”

“You don’t, you don’t…” Elizabeth closed her eyes, and felt the tears slide down her cheeks. “And I can’t…you can’t be in here. I don’t want you in here. I…spent my whole life not mattering to my parents, not having my father love me the way I wanted him to. My daughter is never going to know that. Not for one minute, one second am I going to let you make her think there’s something wrong with her—”

“There’s nothing wrong with her,” Jason cut in, his voice rough. “Or you. I do want her—”

“No, you don’t.” Her chest was heaving now from the force of her sobs. “Just go. I don’t want you. Go. I want…” She gasped. “I want Carly. Tell Carly I want her. Not you. I want you to go.”

“Elizabeth—”

“Just go. Go!” she repeated when he didn’t move. “You’ve walked away from me so many times, Jason. One more isn’t going to change things.”

General Hospital: Maternity Ward Waiting Room

Sonny leapt up from his chair, Audrey and Carly at his side when Jason stepped out, his face ashen. “What’s going on?” Sonny demanded.

“She…” Jason took a deep breath and looked at Carly. “She wants you in there, Not me.”

“Me…but…” Carly hesitated, looking at Audrey for a moment, before looking back her best friend. “Jase…you should be in there. I know…she’s angry with you, but—”

“It’s fine.” Jason swallowed hard. “Mrs. Hardy, I know Elizabeth wants you back in there.”

“I’ll try to talk to her, Jason,” Audrey promised him. “Sometimes mothers in labor are a little unpredictable, and I know Elizabeth wasn’t happy about you taking that trip.” Her lips thinned. “None of us were, but that’s water under the bridge. I’ll talk to her—you should be in there with her.” Audrey disappeared into the room.

Carly narrowed her eyes. “What did you say that makes Elizabeth want me and not you in the room? Because, I assure you, you said something.”

“It’s all the things I didn’t say,” Jason said finally. He cleared his throat. “She’s asking for you, Carly. Would you please, for me, go make sure she has everything she needs?”

“You see what happens when you’re a good person, Sonny?” Carly growled. “Nothing good.” She followed Audrey in the room.

Sonny wiped his mouth and sat back in his chair. “I don’t get you, Jason. I really don’t. All these months, you’ve gone through this charade to protect her and I know…you tried to say it was because you owed her, but I always knew the reasons even if you didn’t want to verbalize it. I thought you two were going to get it together this time, that you were going be a family.”

“I wanted that,” Jason admitted. “But I didn’t know how to make it happen. I told you, Sonny. Elizabeth never stays. She keeps telling me I don’t give her a reason to, but I don’t know what she’s looking for.”

Sonny exhaled slowly and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes. Sometimes he forgot that Jason Morgan had not existed for more than eight years, and maybe he really just didn’t get it, that sometimes words were important, that sometimes reassurances mattered. “Jason, do you love her?”

“Sonny—”

“Just answer me.”

Jason was quiet for a moment. “Yes. I love her. I have for…a long time now. But—”

“When she moved in this summer, when you two started working things out, did you happen to tell her that?”

“I…” Jason hesitated. “No.”

“Did you ever sit down and discuss what would happen after Cady was born? What role you would play in her life if we tied up all this other crap? What it would mean for the two of you to be seeing each other at the same time the world believes Cady to be your daughter?”

“We…didn’t.” Jason leaned forward, dipping his head down. “She thinks it’s because of Ric. You think that, too.”

“I’m at a loss, honestly, Jase.” Sonny shrugged. “Because if it was just about not wanting to get attached to a child who could walk away, there were things we could have done. We could have quietly signed adoption papers and then had them sealed so no one would see them. You could have asked Elizabeth to marry you, to make a commitment to her.” He looked at his best friend. “But maybe you don’t think those things would have worked. That Elizabeth still would have taken her and walked away.”

“Michael was my son. I had papers saying I could have visitation, but I had to give him up. It was for the best. But…Robin and Carly…they took him away.”

Tricky territory here, because now Sonny was raising the little boy. “Robin made her choice, she had her reasons and Carly was scared—”

“But they knew what they were doing,” Jason said thickly. “Robin wanted to protect me from Carly, so she told AJ the truth. How she thought I’d be better off that way, I still don’t understand. And Carly never even gave me a chance to fix it, she just ran to the Quartermaines and told them I made her to do it. I know…she was scared, but it doesn’t change anything.”

And here was the truth that Sonny had ignored all along. Jason had loved two women before Elizabeth and they’d both betrayed him. He’d had one another best friend, and God knew that Sonny had betrayed him by sleeping with Carly. Somewhere along the line, between the three of them, they’d taught Jason that to trust someone all but ensured betrayal.

“You had months to talk to Elizabeth about all of this,” Sonny said finally. “I get it, I do. But she shouldn’t pay for Robin and Carly. For the things that they did, that I did. Elizabeth would have understood…after what you went through with Michael. She was there for the aftermath, wasn’t she?”

“She was one of the few people I talked to about it.” Jason hesitated. “The only one. It’s…how we met. She went to Jake’s, wanting something to replace the emptiness she felt after Lucky died, and she asked me if I knew what nothing felt like.”

“God, the two of you are going to give me a headache.” Sonny put his head in his hands. “You’re so perfect for each other that it’s almost nauseating and yet you two can’t get out of your own way long enough to get it. Jason, she spent years trying to make herself the woman she’d been before that fire. Trying to be good enough so that Lucky would love her again, and how did he repay her? He got her involved in a ridiculous scheme where she faked her death and she had to come to me for help. And then he almost married her out of pity when he didn’t remember loving her. She turned herself inside out for that man, and she got nothing in return for years. You’ve got baggage, but so does she, and instead of dealing with it, you both made it so much worse.”

“Carly told me for months I was pushing her away,” Jason admitted. “But I just…thought if I didn’t talk about it—”

“You know better than that, Jase.” Sonny leaned forward. “Listen to me. I don’t know if it’s too late to fix this, I really don’t. She wants a reason to stay, Jason. And she wants you give it to her. She wanted you to love her daughter the way you love Michael. Effortlessly. If you really don’t think you can figure out a way to trust her to stay, then fine. Make it amicable. We’ll figure out a way to extricate you from this situation after Ric is dealt with.”

He put a hand on Jason’s shoulder. “But I think you and I both know that you can trust her. That she knows better than anyone how it felt for you to lose Michael. And if I know you at all, you already love that little girl. So when Carly comes out here to bring us back, I want you to remember that. You never used to live in the past, Jason. Don’t start now.”

General Hospital: Elizabeth’s Room

Barely a year ago, Carly was shoving Elizabeth Webber out of Jason’s life and ushering Courtney in. She would have told most people that Elizabeth was nothing more than a little girl with an infatuation who couldn’t handle what it meant to be in Jason’s life. Her best friend deserved better.

Today, as she stood by Elizabeth’s side, clutching her hand as Kelly Lee told Elizabeth she was finally dilated to ten and could start pushing with the next contraction, Carly couldn’t really pinpoint when she’d shifted that thought. Had it been the first time Elizabeth offered her ice cream? Or played blackjack with her while cooped up in the penthouse?

Or had it started further back than that, when Elizabeth had cleaned up the penthouse and comforted Carly after believing Sonny to be dead. How she had stopped by just to check on her, and to hesitantly ask after Jason.

“This hurts so much, Gram. Why did the pain meds stop working?” Elizabeth sobbed. “Make it stop.” Six hours of labor had left her exhausted.

“The baby is crowning, Liz!” Kelly called. “Just a little longer!”

“I can’t—”

“Oh, suck it up, Muffin,” Carly snapped and Elizabeth glared at her. “You damn well can do this. Anyone who can…” She glanced at Audrey and decided to just shrug it off. “Anyone who can put up with the crap you have can do this.”

“Carly—”

“You stood up to me when most people in this town just ignored me,” Carly continued. “You told me you’d protect Jason from me until he was well enough to deal with me. I told you I’d gotten rid of one little angel, and I was going to drop you kick you so fast into next year, you wouldn’t see it coming.”

Elizabeth bit out a pained laugh. “How’d that work for you?”

“Exactly my point, Muffin. Anyone who can stand up to me and actually win can do something measly like give birth. Hell, I did it just last month and did I whine nearly as much?”

Kelly popped up from the end of the bed. “Actually—”

“Quiet, you.” Carly jabbed a finger in her direction. “Concentrate on that…down there.”

“All right, Elizabeth…here comes a contraction. Push!”

With a grunt, Elizabeth bore down, panting. “Come on, come on.”

“You can do this, Elizabeth,” Audrey said, wrapping an arm around her granddaughter’s shoulders. “I know it!”

“The head is out, Elizabeth!” Kelly told her. “Let’s get the shoulders and I can just pull her out—”

“Get out, get out, get out!” Elizabeth screeched.

And then there was a cry.

Kelly rose to her feet, her eyes bright and shining, with a messy baby in her arms. “And here we go!” She leaned forward to lay the newborn on Elizabeth’s stomach.

Carly pressed her free hand to her mouth, watching Elizabeth’s entire countenance shift immediately from pain to joy. “Oh…” Elizabeth broke off and took a deep, shaky breath. “Oh, she’s so perfect.”

“Oh, my darling…” Audrey kissed Elizabeth’s forehead.

“Who’s cutting the cord?” Kelly asked. She looked at Carly. “Godmama?”

“Um…” Carly looked at Elizabeth who was focused on her daughter. “Sure.” She reached for the scissors and gingerly snipped it, shuddering a bit. The things she did for family.

“Let’s clean her up,” Kelly said, with a smile, reaching for Cady. Elizabeth protested, but Kelly shrugged. “I’ll give her right back.”

“Oh, Gram…” Elizabeth leaned back against the pillows as some of the nurses came forward to help her clean up herself. “She’s here.”

“And she’s beautiful,” Audrey murmured. “Absolutely beautiful.” She paused. “I told Monica I’d come get her as soon as she was born. Would you mind?”

“No…” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “No. You can get her.”

Audrey smiled again and disappeared out the room. Carly took a deep breath. “Well, Muffin, you did it. Cadence Audrey Morgan is now in the world.”

“Cadence Audrey Caroline,” Elizabeth corrected. She opened her eyes and Carly saw the tears, the joy, the bliss. “She’d never be here if not for you, for Sonny. For Jason. So if you don’t mind…”

“Oh…Muffin…” Damn it. Carly swiped at her eye. “I never mind knowing there are more Carolines in this world.”

“Speaking of which…” Kelly stepped away from the nurses with Cady in her arms, now swaddled in a hospital blanket. “How about we let Godmama hand the baby over.”

Carly stepped towards Kelly and accepted the baby in her arms. She looked down at this little scrap of humanity and just…

This baby was the reason for all of this, for the love, the arguments, the fear, the extra security, for the pain. For the bliss. Here was the center of it all, and she looked so incredibly innocent.

“She’s just…so perfect,” Carly murmured. She looked at Elizabeth. “I can’t even describe it.” She stepped forward and set her gently into Elizabeth’s arms. “There’s my niece.”

“I thought about this moment, I’ve imagined it a thousand times over the last eight months,” Elizabeth murmured, her hand smoothing over Cady’s cheek, “but this is so much better. She wasn’t here five minutes ago, and now…”

“Do you think you’ve punished Daddy long enough?” Kelly asked, with a good-natured smile. “All her tests are perfect. She’s completely healthy, so maybe she should meet him.”

Elizabeth hesitated and then looked at Carly, looking a little lost. “Is he angry with me? Because I didn’t…Because I wanted you.”

“No, no.” Carly shook her head. “He understood. He’s angrier with himself for making this happen, for making you think you weren’t important, that he didn’t love you.”

“I’ll be back in to check on you guys in a bit.” Kelly squeezed Elizabeth’s arm. “Congrats, Liz. I can say without bias she is the prettiest little girl I’ve ever delivered.” With a wave, Kelly and the other nurse left the room.

“Bring him in,” Elizabeth said after a moment. “And Sonny, too. I want them to meet her.”

“I’ll be right back.”

General Hospital: Maternity Ward Waiting Room

Jason and Sonny were already on their feet, having been told briefly by Audrey that the baby had arrived and she was on her way to get Monica. A few minutes later, Carly exited the room, and Jason was relieved to see her smiling. “Hey, is she okay? Is Cady okay?”

“She’s perfect. She wants to see both of you.”

Jason hesitated. “Does she? I don’t want her to do anything—”

“Jason, look at me.” Carly grasped his chin in her hand and forced him to make eye contact with her. “You’ve messed this up pretty badly, but at the end of the day, it’s not lost. You can make this better. Maybe you didn’t make Elizabeth feel like you loved her or Cady before, but from the moment you step in there, it’s different. I know you love her already.”

“Carly—”

“No, just…” Carly took a deep breath. “I didn’t always get it, I didn’t always like it, and maybe I made it more difficult for you, so if that’s true I’m sorry. But I want you to be happy. So I am telling you right now, if you go in there and you show Elizabeth how much you love her and how much you love that little girl, it can be better. Just…try.”

General Hospital: Elizabeth’s Room

Jason stepped in to find Sonny already holding the baby. He was grinning at the pink bundle. “I’m an uncle, Jase!” he proclaimed proudly. “Can you believe it?”

Carly came in behind him and went to stand by Elizabeth’s bed. “He’ll never stop this now. She’ll be spoiled ridiculously. Ponies. Castles. He doesn’t do things in half measures.”

Sonny just shrugged and then looked at Jason. “You want her?”

Jason took a deep breath. “Yeah.” He stepped over to his friend, prepared to take Carly’s advice for once. As Sonny gently laid her in his arms, Jason remembered the moment he’d held Michael in his arms, and though he loved Michael still…this moment was it in a class of its own.

This was the little girl who he had felt kick, who he had watched grow, who he had tried desperately not to love and failed. For the first time since this began, he admitted to himself that he’d always wanted her to be his.

“She’s…” He faltered, and cleared his throat. “I can’t…find the words, Elizabeth.” He looked up, to find her eyes glossy with tears. “There aren’t any.”

“That is exactly how I feel,” Elizabeth murmured.

Carly wiped her eyes with a tissue. “This is just too damn sappy for me,” she muttered. “Tell them, Muffin. Tell them what you’re naming her.”

Jason frowned and exchanged a look with Sonny. “It’s Cady, isn’t it?” Jason asked. “Cadence Audrey.”

“I’m changing it a little.” Elizabeth hesitated and looked at Carly, with a smile. “Cadence Audrey Caroline.”

“That’s right.” Carly nodded. “I want all of Port Charles to know that someone actually named their kid for me. They’ll never believe it.”

“I barely believe it,” Sonny returned, but he looked at Elizabeth. “We’re never going to hear the end of this, Liz.”

Elizabeth laughed, as the door opened and Audrey stepped in, followed by a hesitant Monica. “Is there room for a couple of grandmothers?”

“Of course,” Carly said. “Jase, you might have to give the kid over.”

Here was his chance to show Elizabeth it could be different. That he could be different. He stepped forward, towards his mother. “Mon—” He hesitated. “Mom. This is our daughter, Cadence Audrey Caroline Morgan.” And with those words, he set Cady in his mother’s arms. He was facing away from Elizabeth, so he couldn’t see her face, but he hoped she believed them.

“Oh, Jason…” Monica’s lips trembled as she looked down at the baby. “Oh, she’s just too precious.” She blinked and looked up. “Caroline?”

“That’s right. Named for me,” Carly pointed out, looking satisfied. “Suck it, Port Charles.”

“Carly,” Elizabeth said, swatting her. “Knock it off, or I’ll change it to…Robin.”

Carly gasped. “Oh, you better not even joke about that, you brat.”

“Audrey, have you had her?” Monica asked. “If you don’t take her from me, I’m liable to keep her forever.” When Audrey held out her arms, Monica handed her over and then turned to Jason. Without another word, she embraced him.

His first instinct was to stiffen, but he knew Monica had been a source of support for Elizabeth during all of this, that despite the past, she did love him for who he was, even if she didn’t always accept his choices. So he gingerly hugged her back and looked at Elizabeth over Monica’s shoulders. She looked…contemplative.

He only hoped he still had time to make this right.

There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper
There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we’d count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever
– It’s All Coming Back to Me Now, Celine Dion

Tuesday, November 4, 2003

General Hospital: Carly’s Room

Every single inch of Carly’s body hurt. It ached. It screamed with pain. And yet…

She looked down into the face of her newborn son and couldn’t think of a moment in her life when she’d been happier. “Look at him,” she murmured to no one in particular. “He’s so perfect.”

She felt Sonny’s soft lips against her forehead and she almost closed her eyes to savor the sensation, but if she closed her eyes, she’d miss this moment. Morgan Stone Corinthos was twenty minutes old and he was the most perfect baby on Earth.

“I missed so much of this with Michael,” Carly said softly. “I was coming out of surgery…then I had post-partum. I left him, Sonny. And even when I could finally hold him, he was kidnapped and I was in Ferncliffe for all those months. He was almost a year old before I could even be his mother.”

“That won’t happen with Morgan, Carly.” She looked up, and his eyes were glossy. “It’s going to be better this time.”

The door opened slightly, and a nurse smiled brightly. “Hey! I have some visitors for mama and son.” She stepped aside and Elizabeth stepped in, Jason just behind her. Carly grinned.

“Hey, Muffin. Come see what you get to look forward to.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and came to the side of the bed opposite of Sonny, Jason on her heels. “Oh, just look at him, Carly.” She reached out with her finger to touch Morgan’s soft cheek. “How beautiful he is…”

“I know. It’s a good thing you’re having a girl, because I think my baby is the most beautiful baby boy and I’d hate for us to fight over that title.” She grinned and saw Jason looking at his feet. No. Not today. This wasn’t about him today.

This was about her second chance at being a good mother from day one. “Jase, you wanna hold your namesake?”

Jason hesitated and then nodded. Elizabeth moved out of the way, so he could come closer and take Morgan from Carly. He lifted the little boy in his arms, and smiled down at him. “He looks so different from Michael,” he said after a moment.

“Yeah?” Carly said, leaning back and letting her exhausted body relax. She reached over and took Sonny’s hand in hers, clutching it to her chest. “How so? I mean, I have the pictures…but…” She bit her lip. “Not from the day he was born.”

“He was too sick for pictures,” Jason said quietly. “And there…wasn’t anyone there really. I didn’t…” He cleared his throat. “I should have.” He hesitated. “Michael had lighter coloring, I think.”

“You can already tell Morgan’s going to take after Sonny,” Elizabeth volunteered, leaning up to peer at the baby. “His hair is already dark.”

“It might change,” Jason told her, glancing at her. “Michael had dark hair at first, but then it lightened to red.”

Carly saw Elizabeth’s face dim slightly as she watched Jason talk about Michael’s first days with a smile on his face, recalling his first moments as Michael’s father, and she knew what the other woman was thinking. Where was this love and affection for her child? Carly cleared her throat, and forced a smile. “Jason, let the Muffin have him for a minute. Let her get some practice.”

And it was sad how awkward the moment was as Jason gently laid Morgan in Elizabeth’s arms, and waited for her to support his head before letting his hands fall away. “I have to say,” Carly said, ignoring the tension in the air, “I’m annoyed that you’re starting your ninth month and you still aren’t as large as I was. It’s appalling.”

“Liz is…” Sonny coughed delicately. “Well, she’s shorter than you. You know.” Carly narrowed her eyes at him, and he smiled innocently. She knew what the bastard was saying. Elizabeth was a petite little angel, and Carly was a svelte cow. He’d pay for that later.

“He’s so light,” Elizabeth murmured, staring down at Morgan. “I haven’t really held that many babies, but I guess I thought he’d weigh more.” She looked up at Carly. “He’s so beautiful.”

Sonny nudged her and Carly remembered what they’d talked about. “Oh…uh, Sonny and I discussed it and we thought…um…” She cleared her throat. “I’d like it if you were Morgan’s godparents.” She flicked her eyes between them. “Both of you.”

Elizabeth blinked, clearly stunned. “Carly….I don’t know what to say.”

“Believe me, Muffin, this isn’t exactly what I thought would happen when I got pregnant,” Carly said dryly. “But we are where we are in life. Morgan is going to be Cady’s cousin. I don’t want you to ever think that just because…” She cast a glance at Jason, whose face was set in a mask. Frick it. “I don’t want you to ever think that because Ric is biologically her father that it matters to me or to Sonny. All we’re going to see is our niece. Morgan and Michael’s cousin. A little girl we’re going to love to pieces. Whether you like it or not.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them, they were shining with tears and even a little anguish. “Thank you, Carly. I can’t speak for Jason, but it would be an honor to be Morgan’s godmother.”

“Jase?” Carly asked, looking at him. “Will you be his godfather?”

“Yeah.” Jason cleared his throat. “Yeah, Carly. I will. Thank you.”

“Good. Gimme my baby.” Carly held out her arms, and Jason engineered the exchange as Elizabeth couldn’t lean in towards Carly very far.

“I already asked Sonny to be Cady’s godfather,” Elizabeth said hesitantly, looking at Carly’s husband, who was smiling. “Because I…feel the way you do. That Sonny is her uncle, and that he’d love her anyway. But I hadn’t…really decided about a godmother.” She paused. “I think I hoped Emily and I would be speaking by then, and I thought maybe Nadine…but it’s clear to me that it should be you, Carly.”

Oh, hell. She was going to cry now. “Oh…I…” she cleared her throat.

“It surprised the crap out of me,” Elizabeth continued with a shaky laugh, “but you’ve been my rock during this, and I can’t think of anyone who’d love her more.”

“Well, frick, Muffin…” Carly sniffled. Damn these hormones. “This is an odd turn of events.”

“You’re telling me.” Elizabeth wiped at her tears. “I guess I always figured there was a reason Jason kept you around, but it wasn’t until this summer that I actually understood it.”

Carly glanced at her best friend, and sighed when she saw the discomfort on his face. “What is this magical reason? Maybe Jason wants to enlighten me.”

“Because it’s easier to be your friend than to kick you out?” Jason offered with a hesitant smile. Carly scowled. “No…Elizabeth is right.” He wrapped an arm around Elizabeth’s shoulders and looked at Carly. “Even when you annoy me, I know you…mean well.”

“Hmm…” She’d take what she’d get. “So it’s settled. Let’s stop this sappy crap about us, and let’s concentrate on my beautiful perfect son.”

“Yours?” Sonny lifted his eyebrows.

“Listen, pal, I just shoved this kid out of my body. Damn right, mine.”

Saturday, November 9, 2003

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

“Let me just grab this one thing,” Elizabeth said, standing at the doorway to the penthouse and smiling over her shoulder at Nadine. “It’s a present for Morgan, and then we’ll head over to Carly’s so you can meet him.”

Nadine grinned. “I’m going to go meet the local godfather’s new son. It’s a crazy life I lead, Liz. I’m telling you.” She examined her hands. “Can I use the bathroom at your place? I’m not sure I got all the sauce off my hands from Eli’s.”

“Sure.” Elizabeth flashed a smile at Francis, who stood by the door, and then pushed her door open.

“Surprise!”

Elizabeth blinked at the room she’d left only two hours ago to see it covered in decorations and filled with women. “Oh…my God.” She pressed a hand to her mouth. Her grandmother stood by the sofa with a beaming smile, while Carly and Morgan were seated. Bobbie, Monica, Penny, Kelly and several of her grandmother’s friends—her eyes watered when she saw Gail Baldwin, her old counselor, standing near the windows.

“Surprised?” Nadine said from behind her. She stepped inside and reached over to the desk to grab a few things. She placed a sash over Elizabeth’s chest, proclaiming her to be Queen for the Day, and then a plastic tiara on her head.

“I am…” Elizabeth shook her head. “Beyond words.”

Audrey strode forward and took her granddaughter’s hands in her own. “I’m so glad, Darling. We hoped we could surprise you.” She pulled her over to a rocking chair decorated with streamers and balloons at the base of the stairs. “Do you recognize this?”

“Gramps’ chair,” Elizabeth murmured, running her hand across the back. A tear slid down her cheek. “Gram…”

“Sit, sit.” Audrey held the chair still while Nadine held Elizabeth’s hand as she lowered herself into the chair. “So, just to make sure credit is given where it’s due…Nadine was obviously in charge of keeping you occupied and supplied refreshments, I gathered the guests, while Carly handled the decorations.”

Elizabeth found Carly’s annoyed look, recognizing it as one she often had herself, when she realized that somewhere along the way she and Carly had gone from being enemies to uneasy allies to family. “Five minutes out of the hospital?” she arched an eyebrow.”

“Ha. I got this stuff together weeks ago,” Carly said. “And then I made Jason, Sonny and Max hang it. It’s my revenge for nine months of health food.” She snorted.

“Thank you.” Elizabeth looked around at the room and refused to be sad that Emily wasn’t there. Though she knew Emily had been around in the days after her botched kidnapping, she hadn’t spoken to her. “Thank you all for coming.”

“I know people generally do games and whatnot,” Nadine said. “And I thought about it, but I figured it wasn’t your type of thing, so we set up a buffet for snacks and drinks and you get to open some gifts.”

“I like gifts,” Elizabeth said with a bright smile. “Do I get to start now?”

“Absolutely!” Audrey reached for a large box, and Monica stood.

“That’s from myself and Lila, sweetheart,” she said. “Lila wanted to be here, but with the weather…”

“Oh, it’s not even a problem.” Elizabeth hesitated, feeling uncomfortable with Monica’s obvious excitement, but she pushed it away. She carefully unwrapped the beautifully wrapped gift. Tossing the paper aside, she waited while Nadine stabilized the box on her lap so she could pull off the top.

Inside was a beautiful white dress made from lace and silk, with a matching bonnet. She looked up at Monica, who smiled. “It was Lila’s christening gown. Her mother wore it as well, so it’s quite old. I believe it was handmade in 1887, in London where Lila’s family is from. So Lila wore it, then Tracy.” She hesitated. “And Tracy was the last Quartermaine girl to be born in to the family. I know…” She shifted slightly. “I know that your daughter is going to be a Morgan, but in Lila’s heart…”

“Monica…” Elizabeth pressed a hand to her mouth, wishing that she was worthy of such a gift. She cleared her throat. “I know…I know Jason would agree with me, that any daughter of his is part of Lila’s family, so of course…” She pressed her eyes closed, but a few tears slid down her cheeks. “This is…so beautiful. I promise to take very good care of it, so the next Quartermaine girl can enjoy it.”

“And there’s something else in the box, from me.” Monica nodded.

Elizabeth set the dress back inside and found a velvet case underneath some tissue paper. She handed the box to Nadine who set it on the desk to keep it safe. Elizabeth opened the case to find a single strand of pearls. “I…” She looked up at her friend’s mother with trepidation. “These are beautiful…”

“It’s another tradition from Edward’s side of the family,” Monica said. “When Lila had Alan, Edward’s mother gave her a strand of pearls and told her that they ought to be passed down to the mother of Lila’s first born grandchild.” She took a deep breath. “So Lila gave these to me after AJ was born. I’m not sure why she didn’t give them to Tracy.” She slid a glance at Carly who only lifted an eyebrow. “I…considered giving these to Carly,” she admitted, looking at the blonde, “but it never felt right.”

“It’s fine,” Carly shrugged.

Satisfied, Monica turned back to Elizabeth. “But when Jason came to tell me personally that you two were having a child, I…it felt right to finally pass these on.”

Elizabeth looked down at the pearls and touched them gingerly with her fingers.

She was such a fraud.

 

Morgan Penthouse: Nursery

Jason only sighed when he entered the penthouse that night, spying drooping decorations as evidence of Elizabeth’s baby shower from earlier that day. Carly had made him hang them, so he was sure it was going to be his job to take them down, as well. He hoped Elizabeth had a good time, was relieved that so many people had wanted to celebrate this with her.

He started up the stairs and stopped at the door to the nursery. He had not been back in this room since the day he and Elizabeth had taken measurements. Since then, he knew it had been painted and furniture had been moved in. He pushed the door open to find Elizabeth sitting in the corner of the room, between an oak crib and the window, slowly rocking in a wooden chair, her hands over her belly.

“Hey.” He leaned against the door jamb and took in the room in the dying sunlight. She’d gone with soft peaches and cream colors in this room, and he saw that over the crib, Cadence Audrey had been painted in swirling pink letters, accented by stars and moons. “It looks like you guys had a good time.”

“We did,” Elizabeth said, looking at him with a soft smile, her eyes tired. “Carly told me you helped with the decorations. Thanks.”

“She threatened to do them herself,” Jason said. “Which was just a ploy, but Sonny didn’t trust her to stay off a ladder.” He shifted and looked around the room, finding a few gift boxes and some bags. “Were you surprised?”

“Astounded.” Elizabeth sighed, and smoothed her hand down the arm of her chair. “This was one of my grandmother’s gifts, you know. It was my grandfather’s. It sat in the room that Sarah and I shared at her house from the time we were babies until we moved here and it ended up being Sarah’s.” Her eyes dipped down to look at the wood. “I remember being three or four, and he would rock me in this. I’d sit on his lap and he’d read to me. Usually from a medical journal, but I never cared. I just liked the sound of his voice.”

“Then it’s good to have it here,” Jason said after a moment, not really sure what to say. “So you can…do the same with your daughter.”

“Yeah…” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “With my daughter.” Without looking at him, she continued. “Do you see that box on the changing table?”

Jason stepped into the room and saw a large open box with a white dress and a velvet case sitting next to it. “Yeah. Who’s that from?”

“Your mother.” Elizabeth opened her eyes and met his. “It’s your grandmother’s christening gown, handmade by her grandmother in London in 1887. Lila’s mother wore it, Lila wore it, Tracy wore it, but no one else since.” He watched her mouth twist into a grimaced smile. “She was worried you might not want to use it since it’s a Quartermaine heirloom.”

“I…” Jason swallowed and looked back at the dress again. He cleared his throat. “Maybe I wouldn’t have once, but…it’s from Lila’s side of the family.”

“That’s what I told her.” Elizabeth rocked for a moment. “There are pearls in that case, from Edward’s mother. She gave them to Lila when Alan was born, and told her to pass them down to the mother of her first grandchild. But for some reason, Lila gave them to Monica rather than Tracy. Maybe she felt they should go to a woman coming into the family, that there were other pieces for daughters.” She shrugged, and he frowned at her, confused by her mood. “Anyway, Monica told me that it never felt right to give them to Carly, but with me…” She exhaled slowly. “For some reason, she feels right giving them to me.”

“Elizabeth…”

“I didn’t know what to say to her, to this woman who’s been so supportive of me these last few months, who just wants to be a part of your life. She was so grateful to be included today, so sure that she was always going to be on the outside looking in when it came to you. She handed me these beautiful gifts, cherished mementos of your family…and I cried.”

He swallowed hard. “I—”

“Because I don’t deserve them.” She met his eyes, and he saw such bleakness in them. “I’m a fraud, Jason. When we started this, maybe I thought like you did, that it would be a matter of weeks, but as it became clear I was going to spend months pretending to be the mother of your child, I began to understand how difficult this was going to be. I tried to explain it to you once, but I know you didn’t get it. Do you…do you understand now?”

“I…” Jason gripped the wooden changing table, and took a deep breath. “Because you and I know the truth.”

“No.” Elizabeth shook her head, that same small smile on her face. “You told me once that we had to figure out how to do this without complicating things, and I know you feel the same way now as you did then, even though I thought…we might have a chance. I thought…after spending all these months together, that you might…see the future the way I want to…that you would see us as a family.”

“I do,” Jason said, but his words were hollow because he knew it was too late for her to believe them. He hadn’t done enough to convince her, and now he didn’t think anything would. “I do,” he repeated. “I just…”

“You didn’t want to complicate things,” Elizabeth repeated, as if he hadn’t spoken. “Because you didn’t want to be her father, and even now, you don’t.”

“No…” Jason shook his head. “I never said that—”

“You didn’t have to.” Elizabeth met his eyes, and he froze at the finality in her gaze. “I got the point. Because every time we took a step forward, I took it and you just followed. I wanted to fix our friendship, I wanted to make things work between us. And you let me believe we could.”

“We still can,” Jason said roughly, trying to think of the words that would stop this from happening.

“Nadine told me months ago that I needed to be brave, that I need to ask you about tomorrow.” She sighed wistfully and looked out the window, as the sun dipped below the horizon and the room slowly slid into shadows. “I was scared to do it, scared to ask you what you wanted from me, what you saw for us, because I always knew the answer.”

“You don’t…” Jason stopped and took a deep breath. “I know I’ve messed things up, but if you just let me explain—”

“I sit here, and I think back over these last few months, and really…” Elizabeth paused. “They’ve been good ones. Even with the tension and the danger, there were moments I spent with you that were happier than any in years. I wanted our friendship back, Jason, and in some ways, I got it.”

“I wanted it, too.” He just wanted her to stop talking, to stop saying things in that tone of voice that sounded like she was building up to something he didn’t want to hear. How could he make her stop?

“But in the most important ways…I failed.” She exhaled, the breath almost shaky. “I spent years in a relationship where I stuck my head in the sand and ignored the reality. Ignored the way my head screamed every time Lucky made me unhappy, because I was so sure we could get those moments back, that we could be who we used to be before the fire. I can’t do it again, Jason. I can’t spend another day with you, pretending that our friendship is what it used to be.”

“So it changed,” Jason said. “It’s different. That’s fine. Things don’t have to stay the same—”

“So, after Cady is born, I think it’s best if I go back to my own room,” Elizabeth said as if he hadn’t spoken. “We haven’t made love in almost a month anyway, since I’ve been uncomfortable. And then, when this is over, when Ric and Faith aren’t threats, we’ll talk about how to end the rest of this.”

“Elizabeth, I know I’ve made mistakes. I just…I didn’t…” He couldn’t find the words. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“And you still haven’t give me a reason to stay,” Elizabeth murmured. “So it appears we’re exactly where we were all those months ago.”

His chest was tight, and for some reason, he wished Carly were here, because she’d know the words he needed to say to make Elizabeth understand. Carly always knew about words. Jason had never been good with them, had always relied on actions.

But it was his actions that had doomed him in this, so it was going to have to be words. He cleared his throat. “Elizabeth,” he began. “We’re not the same people we were last year, or even this summer, when you moved back in. I know I haven’t made it easy on you, that I’ve made you feel like I think you were a burden, that your child was an obligation, or even worse, a mistake, but—”

“You still…don’t get it.” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “My child. You say it all the time. My child. My baby. My daughter.”

He drew his brows together and shook his head. “Elizabeth, she is—”

“I’m tired,” she murmured. “I think I want to be alone for a while.”

“But you have to let me fix this—”

“Jason…” She looked at him again, her eyes shining in the darkness with her tears. “I can’t…do this anymore. I don’t want there to be bitterness. Not now. You’ve kept me safe, made it possible for me to be a mother without fear. I want to remember these months with a smile, and if you keep trying to explain or fix something that cannot be fixed, then I won’t be able to. I’ll only remember how painful it was at the end.”

He dipped his head and took a deep breath. “All right.” He nodded. “Okay.” He stepped out of the room and leaned against the wall.

Carly had warned him for months that if he kept protecting himself, kept his distance, he’d drive Elizabeth away. He’d always seen her point, but he realized now that a part of him had hoped that it wouldn’t come to this, that somehow they’d find a way to make this right or that he’d wake up one morning without his belief that this situation was temporary, that this idea of family in front him wasn’t ephemeral.

It had never happened, and instead, the day he’d been expecting arrived anyway. Elizabeth was going to leave and take her daughter, leaving him alone.

And it was no one’s fault but his own.

Thursday, November 20, 2003

Corinthos & Morgan Coffee Warehouse: Sonny’s Office

Sonny wondered if he took the rubber band he was playing with and shot it straight at Damien Spinelli’s forehead, if it’d be as entertaining as he thought it might be. Again, the computer tech was speaking in babble, tossing out Jackal, assassins, awesomes, and other words that made Sonny feel homicidal.

He looked at Jason, who was staring out the window, looking as exhausted as Sonny felt. He wondered what Jason had to be exhausted about, seeing as Sonny was the one with an infant at home who never slept. Something had changed after Elizabeth’s baby shower a few weeks ago. Jason was withdrawn, even sullen.

“Listen,” Sonny said suddenly, causing Spinelli to drop off in the middle of his spiel. “I want you to tell me what you found in English. I don’t wanna have this conversation every damn time you come in this office, you know. I want plain English. I pay you well enough.”

“Yes, Mr. Sir. I am endeavoring to correct some of my annoying nervous eccentricities,” Spinelli nodded. “I spoke to…” He hesitated, “Stan…” as if the name was unfamiliar and he had to remind himself not use some ridiculous nickname. “And we were working on a solution to the problems in the casino that have cropped up.”

“I thought you were still working on the shell companies,” Jason said roughly

“I am,” Spinelli said, “I am, Stone Cold, sir, but it is quite difficult as none of the attached accounts are currently being withdrawn upon, so I am unable to trace that which does not exist. That being said…Stan…believes that the problems in the casino indicate that the person causing them is on-site.”

Sonny straightened. “Why?” he demanded quickly. “Why would he think that?”

“The nature of these particular problems,” Spinelli remarked. “There are dealers at the tables who show up one night, and then quit. Customers who bring in almost nothing to start playing, win big and then never return. Money is being siphoned again, but in smaller amounts. The problems are diverse, which cannot be set by a remote computer as was the case with the problems in August.”

“So you’re saying that things are so screwed up,” Sonny said, pissed, “that it can only mean the bastard is pulling the strings from the casino itself.”

“Or he’s turned someone close to us. Carlos, or Tommy,” Jason pointed out, rubbing his forehead. “He could be in contact with one of them, and they could cause trouble. But…he’d have to be in contact to keep this up.”

“Yes, sir,” Spinelli bobbed his head. “There’s no set pattern to the types of problems — they could happen in any casino where management is badly handled. I am working on new arrivals to the area, but it’s a large search area and maybe useless.”

“We need someone on-site to look at it in depth,” Sonny said, wishing he could just sink the damn island into the ocean. “Who the hell are we going to send? I can’t leave Carly and Morgan, not unless I want Carly to set me on fire. Johnny and Tommy aren’t really equipped—”

“I’ll go,” Jason said quietly.

Sonny just blinked at him and then looked at Spinelli. “Be ready to go to Puerto Rico by tomorrow morning,” he told the tech. “I’ll call you later and let you know what’s going on.”

“Yes, sir, Mr. Sir.” Spinelli left the room.

“You can’t go,” Sonny said firmly. “Elizabeth may not be due for another two weeks, but due dates are really just guesses. She could probably go into labor at any point—”

“She needs this to be over,” Jason said. He leaned forward, his knees parted, his hands clasped between them. “She needs to be free of Ric Lansing. You and Carly are here, her grandmother and Nadine. She doesn’t—”

“That is goddamn bullshit,” Sonny growled. “You want to run out on her before she has the baby. You could miss it.” He shook his head and sat back in his chair. “I don’t get you, Jase. I really don’t. I got Carly worried all summer that you’re messing this up, and I keep telling her that maybe you’re not as smooth as she’d like, but you and Elizabeth still stumble through this. You got this far. But you’re sitting there, telling me you’ll go to Puerto Rico mere days before your girlfriend has—” He hesitated. “Before she has the baby, and you think you can tell me she’s got enough people here that she doesn’t need you?” He shook his head. “Bullshit, Jason. At least have the guts to tell me the truth.”

“I don’t owe you an explanations,” Jason said stiffly. “One of us has to go to Puerto Rico. You went the last time, I’m going.”

Sonny got to his feet. “Don’t fucking me tell me you don’t owe me any explanations. I supported you in this asinine plan from the beginning. I told you we could protect her, even if you hadn’t claimed the baby. You put Elizabeth in the position of pretending to be the mother of your child, and you’ve resented it from goddamn day one and I’ll be damned if I understand why. This was your bright idea and you’re a goddamn piece of shit if you run out on her now—”

Jason lunged to his feet, his face tight with anger. “You don’t know what you’re talking about—”

“Carly keeps feeding me some bullshit about how you’re so broken up over losing Michael, but I don’t buy it.” Sonny dragged his hands through his hair, thinking for the first time in their friendship he might actually lunge over this desk and punch his best friend. “At least man up and say it straight out. You don’t want to raise Ric Lansing’s child.”

Jason’s hands fisted at his sides, and he thought Jason might be close to landing a punch as well. “Fuck off, Sonny. I don’t give a damn about that.”

“No?” Sonny shrugged. “Could have fooled me. You’ve been pining after Elizabeth Webber for years, long before either one of you saw it, I did.” He pressed a hand to his chest. “I saw it that winter, the way you two talked about one another. You’ve spent so many years wanting to be with her, that now that you’re with her, you don’t know what the hell to do with it.”

“Drop it, Sonny—”

Sonny dropped into his chair and just stared at his friend. “I honestly don’t get it.” His tone was quiet now, perplexed. “I know how much you love her. I knew why you claimed the baby all those months ago, and I didn’t say anything then. I thought you guys were working things out, but you never saw it lasting beyond the end of this fiasco. You always saw it with expiration date.”

“Sonny, I’m going to Puerto Rico.”

“Whatever.” Sonny shook his head. “You’ve been walking away from Elizabeth since the day you met her. I don’t know why I’m so surprised you’re doing it again.” He reached for his phone, to call the airfield. “This time, Jason, you walk away, she’s not going to come back—”

“She didn’t come back to me this time,” Jason growled. “Did she? Don’t accuse me of walking away from her—she walked first.”

“The hell she did.” Sonny slapped his hand against the desk. “You did it. You walked away that first time, because your feelings were changing, and you lost the best chance you had, because she got sucked into the Lucky Spencer debacle for years. And you walked away from her again for a year when she was still figuring out what it meant to love two people at once. And maybe she left the penthouse last fall, but you walked away first.”

“She left me because of you,” Jason retorted. “Isn’t that what you’ve been saying? That it was your fault—”

“It was,” Sonny nodded. “Because when you asked to tell her, I should have agreed, but I’ll be damned if you don’t take responsibility for your part. You could have told me to go to hell, that you loved her as much as I loved Carly and you were going to tell her whether I liked it or not. You didn’t fight for her. And you didn’t exactly go back to her this time, either. You two just ended up in the same situation. So you’re both cowards, but at least she had the guts to try.”

He saw Jason bow his head and take a deep breath. “She’s already planning to leave,” his friend said in a much softer tone. “She told me after her baby shower. And there was nothing I could say to make her stay. She begged for me not to argue with her, because she didn’t want to remember us ending in anger. Not like last time.”

“And she’s walking because you’ve never let her back in again.” Sonny sighed. “Well, I can’t blame her. Can you?” He picked up his phone and dialed the number of the airfield. “Run to Puerto Rico, Jason. Take the easy way out. But you’re the one that’s telling her you’re leaving.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Jason paused outside the door to the penthouse, and took a deep breath. He had driven around for nearly an hour after storming out of Sonny’s office at the warehouse, wanting to be calm when he came home to tell Elizabeth he’d be leaving town.

He knew Sonny was right, it only made what he was doing worse. But after that conversation in the nursery, Jason didn’t know how to make this better. All his efforts to stay distanced from the baby, to be with Elizabeth and not think about the future…they’d been in vain. He lay next to her at night and he could feel the baby kicking against his side when Elizabeth was curled up on her side at night.

He knew he loved this child, because it was part of Elizabeth, and she was going to be such an amazing mother. He should have embraced the idea months ago, shouldn’t have allowed whatever was in his head to affect the way he treated Elizabeth.

But he hadn’t. He’d thought he could hold her at arm’s length, have these moments and then not lose himself when she walked away. Even now, after he knew it was a certainty that she’d leave, after he knew how he felt about Cady, he was still trying to protect himself.

If he did miss the birth, if he wasn’t in the room when Cady was born, if he could get rid of Ric before that moment, then maybe he could spare himself. To watch Michael from afar, to never be his father…he couldn’t put himself through that again. After all these years, he still saw the little boy and his heart would swell, remembering what it had been like during that first year when he’d been a father. He knew Michael didn’t think of him that way, that Sonny was his father in every way that mattered.

To Jason, Michael would always be his son. He didn’t know how to turn that off.

“Everything okay, Jason?” Cody asked, and Jason looked at him. “You’re…just…” He hesitated. “Standing there.”

Jason sighed, and pushed the door open. Elizabeth sat on the sofa, her legs up, her back against the armrest. They had spent the last two weeks in a great deal of silence, sharing most meals and still residing in the same bedroom. She’d told him that to move her things back to the guest room at this point just felt like a waste of energy, and she’d deal with it when she wasn’t pregnant anymore.

“Hey.” He closed the door and dropped his keys on the desk.

She glanced up from her sketchpad, “Hey,” she said absently. “Are you going to be home for dinner?”

“Uh…yeah.” He sat in the arm chair and stared at the wooden coffee table. “I…wanted…I have to go out of town.”

Her pencil stilled, but she didn’t look up. “Oh?”

“There’s more problems in the casinos in Puerto Ric,” Jason told her. “Spinelli—the tech guy—thinks whoever is doing it is actually down there pulling the strings.”

“So you think Ric is in Puerto Rico.” Elizabeth nodded and looked up, her gaze unreadable. “And you’re going down to check it out.”

“Yeah. It’s…the closest we’ve come to a lead on him since he split town all those months ago.” Jason shifted. “I don’t…know how long it will take.”

The knuckles on the hand holding the sketchpad were nearly white, but her voice was even when she spoke again. “I suppose it will take as long as it takes.”

“I…” Jason hesitated. “I’m sorry. It’s just…it has to be me or Sonny, and Sonny can’t—”

“He just had a baby,” Elizabeth murmured, her pencil moving again, but he thought she was only pretending now and not actually sketching. “He’d never hear the end of it from Carly.”

“That’s…what he said.” He exhaled in a short quick breath. “Elizabeth, I’m—”

“Don’t apologize.” Her eyes flicked to meet his and he still couldn’t see what she was thinking, feeling. “Jason, you’re doing exactly what you promised me you do all those months ago. You told me that you were going to get Ric out of my life to keep me and my daughter safe. You’ve never promised me more than that. So…go do what you have to do.”

“Okay.” She wasn’t angry, but he wanted her to be. At least when they argued, she was in the conversation. This…tense, cold acceptance of the situation was discomforting. “I don’t have to leave until tomorrow morning—”

“Oh, good.” Elizabeth glanced towards the kitchen. “I’ll heat up the lasagna Sonny brought us the other day.”

“I’ll do it,” Jason told her, getting to his feet. “You don’t need to be…on your feet.”

Elizabeth shrugged and returned to her sketchbook. He headed for the kitchen, still tense and waiting for the second shoe to drop.

Morgan Penthouse: Bedroom

It dropped the next morning, when he slipped out of bed to dress. They’d shared another quiet dinner and then later, they’d gone up to bed. For the first time in over a month, she’d reached for him, and though it hadn’t been easy, they’d made love, and he knew she intended it to be the last time.

They’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms, and then he’d woken up, and dressed. He leaned over the bed to brush a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll see you later,” he murmured.

He was almost out the door before he heard her soft answer. “Goodbye.”