I’m finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don’t really know what
I’m going to do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
– Breathing, Lifehouse

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Jason pushed open the door and signaled for Elizabeth to go inside. He turned to Francis. “No one gets past you. No interruptions. I don’t care what Sonny or anyone else says.” He hesitated and glanced at Elizabeth, who was doing her best to keep her face expressionless when all she wanted to do was dissolve into a puddle of nothing. “And it goes without saying that you heard nothing on the docks that you didn’t already know to be the truth. That’s why you were assigned last week, got it?”

“Message received.” Francis nodded and took up his station at the door.

As soon as Jason closed the door, Elizabeth felt her composure leave her. She sank onto the sofa, his words were ringing in her head. I don’t lie. It’s my baby.

“Elizabeth,” Jason began, putting his hands at his waist, but he said nothing else, and she knew exactly how he felt. How the hell had they gotten into this mess and how were they going to get out?

“It’s not that I don’t…” Elizabeth twisted her fingers together. God, she couldn’t look at him. “I appreciate you stepping in because I wasn’t sure…” Restless, she got to her feet and started to pace.

“I know this…this is a mess,” Jason said. She turned and just stared at him.

“You don’t think that’s a bit of an understatement?” Her arms wrapped around her torso, her fingers tapping her on arm. She wanted to jump out of her skin. “Let’s…let’s go back here a minute. You told Sonny’s half-brother that you…” She couldn’t even say the words. “Oh my God, Jason. What are we going to do?” Her eyes widened. “You have to get Sonny and Carly…and Courtney right now and tell them the truth. He’s going to head straight for Courtney or Carly, you just know it.”

“No.” Jason shook his head, pained. “No, we can’t tell them.”

“I…” Her hands slid to her sides, as if boneless. “What do you mean we can’t tell them?” Her voice had climbed almost to a squeak, and she struggled to take a deep breath. “Of course we have to tell them. Ric is going to tell everyone he sees what just happened!”

“Maybe…maybe not.” But Elizabeth could see Jason didn’t believe a word of that. “Maybe he’ll get out of town. I made it clear that he goes after you again, I’m not gonna care what Sonny said.”

“And if he were a normal and logical person, that might have worked,” Elizabeth retorted. She dragged her hands her hair and turned towards the windows. “We can tell them it’s a lie, that it’s not…that you’re not…” She swallowed hard and turned back. “I’ll tell them it’s Lucky’s. I can call him, he’s on his way to London, but I bet he’d help—”

“We can’t bring anyone else into this.” Jason strode forward and took her by the shoulders. “Elizabeth, I know you’re upset and you’re scared, but we need…” He paused and slid his hands down her shoulders to take her hands. “We need to focus. No one but the two of us can know the truth. Even Francis doesn’t really know what he heard isn’t the truth.”

“Jason, we cannot lie to our family, to the people who love us.” She hated how shaky her voice was and the tears were sliding down her cheeks. “We can’t. Do you know what people will think?”

“I…” He nodded. “Yeah. They’re going to think we cheated on the people we were seeing.” He squeezed her hands. “But we need to keep you and your child safe.”

Right. That was paramount, and Elizabeth could understand that somewhere inside, but in this moment, she could only see the problems. The damage. “Jason, you cannot let Courtney believe you did this to her.” She closed her eyes. “You have to tell her the truth, she’s going to be so hurt—”

“I know she is.” His hands fell from hers, and already she was aching the loss of his strength. “But I learned the hard way that things like this…they work when no one else knows.” His eyes darkened and Jason looked away, clearing his throat. “I told Robin about Michael being AJ’s son because I didn’t want her to think I had slept with Carly while we were together. I didn’t want to hurt her.”

“And she told AJ,” Elizabeth said. She sighed and rubbed her eyebrow. “Okay. Okay. But that was different, right? Courtney hates Ric, too. For what he did to Carly. She’ll understand that no one can know. We’ll just…” She stopped when he shook his head.

“We can’t take that chance.” He leaned against the pool table. “I know I’m asking you for a lot—”

“Are you insane?” Elizabeth cut in. “You’re the one who stands to lose in this, Jason.” Her heart was racing, and her skin was clammy. “I get why this works for me, but you’re the one who’s going to lie to his family. Jason, I can’t ask you to do this. It’s insanity. There has to be another way—”

“You heard Ric on those docks.” Jason shook his head and looked at her. God, he was so upset, and she knew it was because she wasn’t agreeing to this plan. There was no way she could, because he wasn’t seeing how it was going to end. How it was going to kill them both. “He has to believe this isn’t his child, or he’ll come back for it or you. And when he doesn’t need you anymore…” He pressed his lips together and clenched his fists. “You can’t ask me not to do whatever I can to keep you safe.”

She had a troubling premonition that he wasn’t going to let her talk him out of this. “Jason, what if Ric doesn’t go away?” she asked softly. “I know you can’t really talk about it, but I know he’s in trouble with the other Families, that they’re looking for him.” Elizabeth tilted her head. “You’re counting on this not being a long-term solution, and it might just be for a little while.”

“If the Families know what’s good for them,” Jason began, but stopped. He wouldn’t say it to her, she knew it. “Ric shouldn’t be a problem for long. And after that, we can tell the truth.”

“So how long are we supposed to let the world think we’re having a child together?” Elizabeth pressed. “Weeks? You think that’s going to make it any better?” Her eyes burned. “You think Courtney’s going to forgive you for not trusting her with something like this? That’s what you’re doing. You’re telling her you don’t trust her to keep a short-term secret. You think that’s not going to hurt her? That Carly is just going to let it go? And Sonny…” Fresh tears burned as they slid down her face. “He’s your best friend, but he’s Courtney’s brother. Jason—”

“I wanted to tell you about Sonny,” Jason said, almost muttering the words, and she blinked.

“W-What?”

“That’s what you’re talking about.” Jason looked towards the doorway, as if remembering the night he’d come in and stumbled over her suitcase. “Me not trusting you with a short-term secret. You were so angry that I didn’t tell you—”

“It’s not about that, Jason.” She could not have this conversation now, not six months after it would have made a difference. If he’d just said those words that night instead of telling her it had nothing to do with her, oh God…

“I asked Sonny to tell you, I told him we could trust you, that you were…” He shook his head. “But he just wanted Carly to know. He said it was safer that way.”

Her hands were shaking, so she hid them behind her back. Why was he telling her this now? “Okay. Okay. But that’s…that’s not what this is about right now, okay. We’ve just…” She gestured out the window, as if the docks were just in the next room. “We just told a ticking time bomb that we had, at the very least, a one night stand, and created a child. What do we do if Ric disappears and goes underground?”

“We’ll find him,” Jason said. “He’s not going to hurt you again.”

She pressed her hand to her stomach, fighting the nausea. “Jason…”

“I know this isn’t a perfect solution,” Jason said. He straightened and crossed to her, stopping short of touching her, which she did not think she could handle right now. “We don’t have all the answers right now, but trust me…” He tilted her chin up so their eyes met. “You know I’m right, that no one can know. No one else matters but your child, and it’s safer if it’s just us.”

God, she couldn’t ignore that argument. She just couldn’t. He had trusted Robin once, and she’d blown his world apart. He’d known Robin as long as he could remember anything, and if Robin had done that to him…why wouldn’t Jason wonder if Courtney might as well. If he was willing to do this for her child, then how could she really argue?

“Okay,” she said softly, finding it difficult to look away from him. “I trust you. We won’t tell anyone.”

Relieved, he leaned down so his forehead brushed hers and if she weren’t already exhausted from tears, she would have wept for this moment. This one beautiful moment where they were totally in sync. Like they had been once.

He stepped away from her after a moment. “I want Francis to stay on you during the day, and I’ll put a guard on your studio door for the evening. I don’t want Ric to think for a moment you’re not being protected.” Jason took a deep breath. “We’ll just take everything else one day at time.”

“Okay.” She licked her lips. “Okay.” They stood there in awkward silence before she stepped forward. “I’m tired. Is it all right if I go home and rest now?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jason scrubbed hand down his face. “You…you’ve been to a doctor? You’re okay, I mean?”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth hesitated. “I’m about five weeks along,” she said. “In case…in case we need to figure out…a story.”

“Okay.” Jason started for the door and turned back. “I promise you, Elizabeth, he’s not going to hurt you again,” he told her.

He sounded so determined, so convinced, that she could almost believe him.

Kelly’s Diner: Dining Room

“Hey.” Carly Corinthos smiled, spying her sister-in-law seated a table, picking at some fries. “I didn’t think you’d be here today.” She sat across from her.

“I had lunch with Emily.” Courtney shrugged. “But she had to run. She’s worried about Elizabeth.”

Carly frowned. “Why?” She hesitated. “Did Sonny tell her about Ric yet? Because I told him he should tell her, and repeat it several times so she listens this time.” Irritated, she snatched one of Courtney’s fries. “She can be thick-headed when she wants to be—”

“I don’t know but Elizabeth told Emily she was going to break up with him, and I guess Emily doesn’t know what a psycho he is.” Courtney shuddered. “So she encouraged Ric not to take no for an answer.”

Carly rolled her eyes. “And people say I butt in when I should stay out. What a sanctimonious little brat. I wish Elizabeth could have overheard exactly what Ric said at Kelly’s. I’m sure Sonny paraphrased to me to make it less…disgusting, but even his glossing over would make her nauseous. But if she doesn’t know, and was just breaking up with him…” Carly sighed. “I hope she doesn’t let his oily charm change her mind.”

“Well I just hope she doesn’t go back to Jason for help,” Courtney muttered. “He loves me now, but I don’t…he has a super hero complex, you know that.”

“Which is how you snagged him,” Carly reminded her, cross at the criticism of her best friend. Jason was a good guy who liked to help when he could. It didn’t mean he only fell in love when he was rescuing someone.

“I know she doesn’t mean anything to him anymore,” Courtney continued. “She drove him crazy when she wouldn’t listen to him about Ric—”

Carly sighed. “I think you should just let it go. I mean, Jason is not the type to cheat on anyone—”

Courtney bit her lip. “Well, I don’t know about that.” She glanced away. “I know we were attracted to each other while he was helping me last fall, when he stayed with me at my apartment, and you know Elizabeth was staying with him at that point. I think they were technically dating, but it didn’t…feel like they were.” She shrugged. “I know Jason told me he never loved her—”

At that Carly, raised her eyebrows. Not in love with her? Carly couldn’t stand Elizabeth Webber, but she remembered how frantic Jason had been to find her last summer, even going to Taggart, Edward and AJ. She’d seen Jason under pressure, looking for other people, but there’d been something in his demeanor, in the look in his eyes that told the world that if anything happened to Elizabeth on his account…

“Courtney, I—” She opened her mouth to defend Jason, because of course he hadn’t let himself be attracted to Courtney before things were over with Elizabeth. He wasn’t that kind of man. Except, how else to explain how quickly he’d moved on? Troubled, she closed her mouth.

The door to the restaurant flew open, and Ric stalked in. He drew up when he saw them, and Carly saw him narrow his eyes in malicious glee. “Oh, crap.” Carly reached for her purse, intent on making a hasty getaway.

“I am so relieved to find the two of you here.” Ric stood in front of them, his arms folded across his chest, bouncing on his heels like a five-year-old who just couldn’t want to tell his sister he’d hidden a frog in her bed. Carly saw Rocco in the courtyard, peeking in the window, but she didn’t give him the sign to come in. It was a public place, what could Ric do?

“Ric, why don’t you just…” Carly shrugged. “I don’t care what you do, as long as you don’t do it in my face—”

“Don’t worry,” Ric snarled. “I’m out of here, but I thought you ladies might like to be the first to know the reason why.”

“I cannot imagine why I’d be interested,” Courtney retorted. “Where’s Rocco?” She twisted in her seat towards the door.

“You should be asking…where’s Jason?” At the hiss in Ric’s voice, Carly felt the skin on her arms begin to rise, a chill down her spine. “Or even better, who’s he with?”

Courtney hesitated and glanced at Carly. Should she give in? Carly rolled her eyes. “All right, Ricky, we’ll play it your way.” She smirked. “Where’s Jason? Who’s he with?”

“Oh, the mother of his child,” Ric declared, his voice loud, and carrying. Even those who’d been trying to pretend not to be listening to the spectacle abandoned the pretense. Carly felt all eyes on them, and watched the blood drain from Courtney’s face. “That’s right,” Ric continued, enjoying himself. “I found out Elizabeth was pregnant, went to go see her, to figure out what to do next, and guess who came across us?”

“This isn’t…” Courtney’s voice faltered and she looked at Carly, fear and revulsion in her expression. She licked her lips. “This isn’t true.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t have thought so if I hadn’t been there to hear it. Oh, you would have loved it, Carly. All the drama you so enjoy. Jason couldn’t wait to have me out of the picture. Elizabeth didn’t even have the decency to tell me herself—I had to hear it from him.”

Carly opened her mouth and closed it again. This didn’t…this didn’t make sense. She didn’t understand what was happening. Why would…why would Ric tell them—the whole world—something so easily disproved?

“Jason wouldn’t do that to me,” Courtney said, finding her voice finally. “He—”

“Oh, save it, sister. You know better.” Ric shrugged. “So I’ll just go upstairs and pack. I’m sure you have somewhere else to be.” He sent them one last malicious smile before disappearing into the back.

Carly looked at her sister-in-law, and then around the diner. “We should…” She cleared her throat. “We should go.” She felt disengaged from the moment, like an out of body situation, as if she was floating overhead and watching Ric spew these lies. Surely that would explain why she couldn’t scream back a denial, go after this piece of scum for lying about her best friend, for putting Courtney through it.

But somehow, she just couldn’t find a source of denial. She had no doubt Jason had claimed to be the father of Elizabeth’s child. The only question for Carly…

Was it true?

Jason’s Penthouse: Living Room

Something inside Jason knew, the moment Elizabeth walked out of the penthouse, that she was right. That this was a disaster that was completely out of their hands now, and maybe he’d been hasty, claiming paternity.

But watching Ric tower over her, the tension in Elizabeth’s posture, the fear in her eyes—he just wanted Ric out of her life and he was under orders from Sonny not do anything against him for the sake of their mother.

The words had just tumbled from his lips without thinking, and Jason wasn’t sure he’d take them back. If it got Ric out of Port Charles and away from the people he loved…it would be worth it.

When Courtney shoved his door open, her face ravaged by tears and anger, he knew…he knew he was about to pay the price he had told Elizabeth he was prepared to.

He set his pool cue on the table and started towards her. “What happened—”

“What happened?” Courtney cried. “That’s what you say to me?”

Behind her, Carly entered, and he was surprised to see that while Courtney was acting the way he thought she might…Carly looked subdued, sad even. She quietly set her bag on his desk, and turned to him, bracing a hand on her back. “Jase…Ric came by our table at Kelly’s.”

Jason closed his eyes, and he supposed Courtney took that action as an admission of guilt. He felt her purse slap against his chest and opened his eyes to see Carly holding Courtney’s arm, to keep the blonde from rushing across the room.

“Courtney,” Carly said. “Why don’t you let him explain—”

“Explain?” Courtney cried, her voice rising to almost a shrill shriek. “What is there to explain?” She yanked her arm away from Carly and stalked towards him. “I told you,” she growled, “I told you that if you loved Elizabeth, then you should go be with her. Didn’t I?”

His chest felt tight, but he realized it was sorrow at hurting her, not necessarily for what was coming next. What should have come months ago.

The end of something that never should have started.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. Because he was. Elizabeth had been right about Ric intent on causing damage—and he felt stupid, because he should have found a way to mitigate the fallout. “I didn’t mean to hurt—”

“Go to hell.” Courtney pressed her hands flat against his chest and pushed. “I told you I didn’t want to be your goddamned rebound, and you made me it anyway. If you wanted her all along, you son of a bitch, then why did you ever come to me?” Her chest heaving, her voice thick with tears. “Why did you leave her all alone here and come to me, and make me think I mattered?”

“I…” Jason’s voice faltered. Because that’s not the way it had happened. He frowned. Was it?

“As if it’s not abundantly clear,” Courtney snarled. “We are done. I hope you, your whore and your bastard are happy—”

“Don’t…” Jason bit off the automatic defense, but Courtney’s eyes bulged, because everyone in the room knew what he’d been about to say and Carly rolled her eyes. “Maybe you should…”

“And you have the nerve to tell me to leave when I’m breaking up with you.” Courtney’s laugh was rusty and bitter. “I don’t know what the hell I saw in you in the first place. You always want what you can’t have. I hope Elizabeth’s happy knowing she’s with a man who can’t ever be satisfied with what he has.” She raised her fist, as if to shove him again, but lowered it to her side. “I hope you both rot in hell.”

She stalked past Carly and slammed the door. Jason sighed, and sat on the arm of the sofa, waiting for Carly to unleash her own fury.

Instead, he heard her footsteps come closer and her fingers on his shoulder. He opened his eyes confused. “Carly…”

“I’m disappointed that you hurt Courtney like this,” Carly said after a moment. “That you didn’t have the decency to warn her, and let Ric stomp around with…this.” She pursed her lips. “After you told Ric the baby was yours, you should have made a beeline for the people in your life that would take this badly, especially Courtney.” She paused. “But maybe you thought Ric would just leave town, and it wouldn’t need to go further than that.”

“Carly,” Jason said slowly, because he could not have Carly a part of this lie. Carly was Courtney’s friend, and she might promise to keep the secret, but she also might eventually tell Courtney to spare her feelings. “I did not lie to Ric.”

“No, I know.” Carly patted his shoulder again. “It’s good…” She paused, as if trying to find the words. “It’s good that he’s not going to think he’s a father. You know…he’s obsessive about family, and if he thought Elizabeth was trying to keep him from his child, there’s no telling what he might to do to her.” She swallowed hard. “So you know, it’s good he doesn’t think he’s going to be a father.”

Jason stared at her, but Carly just stared back, almost blandly as if she didn’t mean anything except exactly what she said. “That’s right,” he agreed. “Ric is dangerous, and I’m glad he’s going to be out of Elizabeth’s life. Out of all our lives.”

“I am, too.” She paused. “You should tell Sonny if Courtney doesn’t get to him first. He’ll be happy to know he has a niece or nephew on the way.” At Jason’s sharp look, she continued, “Because you’re a part of our family, so any child of yours is part of ours.” She hesitated. “But maybe you should warn Elizabeth that Ric announced her happy news in a crowded diner, with Courtney in tow.”

Jason closed his eyes, and felt dread in the pit of his stomach. Elizabeth hadn’t had much choice in this debacle—she’d been forced to follow his lead in front of Ric, because what choice had he left her? And now, people would look at her and think… He nodded. “I will.”

+5

Don’t know where she belongs, where she belongs
She wants to go home, but nobody’s home
It’s where she lies, broken inside
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside
– Nobody’s Home, Avril Lavigne

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Kelly’s Courtyard

Lucky Spencer closed his arms around Elizabeth’s shoulders and squeezed her tight. “I’m going to miss you guys.” He drew back and reached for Emily’s hand with a broad smile. “But I’m glad Nikolas and I waited to head to London. We might have missed you otherwise, Em, and I would have hated that.”

“Well, I was excited to get the Musketeers together for a few reunions,” Emily replied, her hand on Nikolas’s shoulder. “It won’t be the same without you guys.”

Elizabeth cleared her throat and smiled at her two oldest friends, though their friendships had been difficult over the last year. “It really won’t. I was just getting used to all four of us in the same city again.”

“But it’d be selfish to ask you to stay,” Emily said, her voice almost sharp. Elizabeth frowned at her, but Emily never met her eyes. “You should be with Laura now that she’s getting better. I’m so glad you guys are taking Lesley and Lulu with you. You know she’ll recover so much faster with everyone in the same place.”

As if missing the underlying tension, Nikolas squeezed Emily’s hand. “Well, you’ll be here to take care of each other and carry on our Kelly’s traditions.”

After a few more hugs, the brothers started for the parking lot, leaving Elizabeth and Emily standing alone in the courtyard. Elizabeth looked over at Emily, who was staring after the others, wistfully.

“I’m glad Laura is showing some improvement,” Elizabeth said, breaking the silence. “It’s hard to think of her like that, locked inside her own mind.”

“I know,” Emily murmured. “She was always so wonderful to me, like a second mother.” She folded her arms across her chest and turned towards the doors. “Are you working today?”

“I had the opening shift,” Elizabeth answered. “So I’m done now.” She hesitated. “Do you…want to get some lunch?” Her throat was thick. “I could really use a friend right now.”

“I would,” Emily said, biting her lip, “but I’m meeting Courtney.” She tucked her hair behind her ears. “Do you want to join us? You guys should really start working past—”

“I’m not really in the mood to have this conversation,” Elizabeth replied. She rubbed her eyes. She still had so much to figure out, and she just…she just couldn’t find it in her to tell Emily how much she really needed her right now. She wasn’t sure Emily would hear her.

“All right,” Emily said, shrugging. “Well, I guess I’ll see you later.”

“I guess so.” Elizabeth waited another moment, but finally left the courtyard. She no longer had the patience to pretend she and Emily were as close as ever, when the truth was…Elizabeth had never felt further away from her.

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Emily set her bag down at an empty table to wait for Courtney. She wished Elizabeth had joined them for lunch. She knew Courtney and Elizabeth had been friendly before, and if Elizabeth could just see how much more suited Courtney was for Jason, she’d really start getting past her feelings.

She had no doubt what Elizabeth had wanted to talk about—Emily had thought of the pregnancy news for days, wondering what Elizabeth intended to do. Emily hoped Elizabeth would confide in Ric—he clearly had monetary resources to support a child, and Emily didn’t think her friend was being all that realistic about her options. Maybe Ric wasn’t the love of her life, but Emily thought that entire concept was a fallacy anyway.

No one fell in love forever.

She was tugging her anatomy textbook from her bag when she saw Ric emerge from the back, having come down from his room. He looked annoyed when he sat at the counter, perusing a menu she was sure he’d memorized. She didn’t know what the problem was with the man. He was handsome and charming, and while he seemed to be focused on getting a job connected to Sonny and Carly, Emily didn’t think that was too awful. It meant Ric was ambitious, that he wanted to make money.

Elizabeth could do worse, Emily decided, and to prove to herself that Elizabeth’s happiness and well-being was still a top priority, she grabbed her bag and abandoned her table for the counter. “Hey. I’m not sure we’ve been introduced,” she said.

Ric glanced at her, and she was surprised at the irritation in his eyes. “I know who you are,” he said shortly. He sipped the coffee Penny had just served him. “And I’m not in the mood for any sanctimonious lectures from Jason Morgan’s little sister or Elizabeth’s best friend.”

Elizabeth must have already broken up with him. Emily took a seat and signaled to Penny that she wanted her usual chamomile tea. “I know you and Liz are having some difficulties,” she said, and winced when Ric snorted. Elizabeth really had burned her bridges, but Emily wasn’t deterred. “She’s just…confused right now. It’s been a tough year for her, and I think you’re exactly what she needs.”

Ric set his coffee down and twisted on the stool to fully face her. “Just…what did Elizabeth tell you about us?” he asked.

“She was thinking of breaking up with you,” Emily answered, spooning some sugar into her tea. “I told her that she shouldn’t be too hasty.” She flashed a smile at her friend’s boyfriend. “I know it might not seem like it right now, but Elizabeth is usually warm and generous. She’s just…it’s been a bad year.” She leaned forward, lowering her voice. “And she really needs the support right now, Ric. No woman should have to face something like this alone.”

His dark brow furrowed and Ric tilted his head to the side. “Face what?” he asked softly.

Emily had no intention of telling him outright Elizabeth was pregnant—that was not her place, but she felt a responsibility to Elizabeth to keep her from making a major mistake, so hints were okay. She cleared her throat. “It’s not something I should be telling you, but I would ask Elizabeth.”

She saw the door swing open and Courtney walked in. Reaching down to grab her bag, and picking up her tea with the other hand, Emily smiled again at him. “I’m serious, Ric. It’s important that you don’t let Elizabeth push you away right now.”

She slid into a chair at the table Courtney had set her things on, and smiled. “Hey!”

“Hey.” Courtney eyed Ric at the counter, and her gaze turned wary as he stood and walked past her without a word. “Why were you talking to Ric Lansing?” She lowered herself into the other chair and turned her coffee cup over.

“Just giving him some encouragement.” Emily sipped her tea. “Elizabeth is pushing him away, but I can’t let her do that. She needs to move on, Courtney, you know that.”

“I know…” Courtney grimaced. “And I hope she does, because I like her, which I know she wouldn’t believe. And I get how easy it is to fall in love with Jason.” She smiled now, as if lit from inside from her happiness. “And he is a wonderful friend, so it must be hard for her to lose that, but I wouldn’t…” She shook her head, her smile dimming. “I wouldn’t wish Ric Lansing on my worst enemy, much less someone I like.”

Emily fisted her hand under the table. “What’s wrong with him?” she asked, irritated. “Elizabeth wouldn’t tell me why she was breaking up with him and now you’re saying these things….he manages Carly’s club, he helped get Jason and Brenda acquitted. What’s wrong with him?” she repeated. She was so tired of being on the outside. This was why Elizabeth was irritating now—because she only told Emily what she thought Emily ought to know, and never the full truth.

“I can’t…” Courtney looked up as Penny poured coffee into her cup. “Thanks, Penny.” When the waitress left, she sighed. “I can’t really talk about it, but if my brother told Elizabeth half of what I think he should have, then Elizabeth should have left a vapor trail in her rush to get away.”

Oh, no. “Is he really that bad?” Emily asked, feeling light-headed. What if he was an awful person who would just hurt Elizabeth and drive all those wonderful qualities she missed so much deeper under the surface? “I just…encouraged him to pursue her.”

“Em…” Courtney shook her head. “That’s just…that’s not a good idea. Jason and Sonny want him out of town, and if Elizabeth knows what they know, she’s just going to resist.” She sat back. “And that’s just going to make it worse.”

And Emily had just hinted to Ric Elizabeth was pregnant. Oh, man. Uneasy, Emily looked towards the door and felt nauseous. Maybe she hadn’t read the situation correctly.

“Maybe it’ll be okay,” Emily said softly. “Maybe she can just get rid of him again.”

“I hope so.” Courtney picked up her tea spoon and tapped it restlessly against her mug. “Because my brother and Jason are going to feel obligated to help since they blame themselves for Ric.” She pressed her lips together. “And the last thing I want is Elizabeth to get involved with Jason again in anyway.”

“Well, it’s not like it would matter,” Emily said. “You said they were never really together, that you and Jason were falling in love when Elizabeth thought they were together. Jason wasn’t really interested.” And she wanted Elizabeth to have access to protection if Ric was as awful as people seemed to think.

Courtney shifted and looked away. “I may have…glossed over a few things,” she admitted. “I know he cared for her, but I didn’t get the impression they were actually dating. He never said anything to me about it and we were together enough, I would have known. And you know, I made Jason promise I wasn’t a rebound.” She placed her hand flat on the table. “It’s just better if…Jason doesn’t think Elizabeth needs help. I don’t…want to take any chances.”

“Right.” Emily frowned, troubled by Courtney’s explanation of the facts and wondering how much of what she thought had happened last summer and last fall was actually true.

Corinthos & Morgan Warehouse: Jason’s Office

The numbers on the ledgers were beginning to blur together as Jason struggled to keep his focus. Three days since he’d warned Ric to get out of town, and the scum was still in his room at Kelly’s as if nothing had changed. He really thought being Sonny’s half-brother offered him protection. Sonny didn’t want him evicted because it was easier to keep an eye on him this way, but Jason just wanted to shove him in the harbor with weights on his feet. He wanted the disgusting son of a bitch to sink to the bottom struggling to breath for what he had done to Carly, to Elizabeth.

He wasn’t a man who could picture things that well, but he would never forget the hitch in Carly’s breath, the tears on her cheeks as she promised Sonny she hadn’t slept with Ric for revenge, that she honestly didn’t remember anything and that her skin felt dirty for just having been in bed with him. Carly was his best friend, for all her faults, and just for that scene alone, he wanted to dismember Ric Lansing.

But the look in Elizabeth’s eyes last Friday, as she sat on her knees, her arms wrapped around her torso as if that action alone could hold her together. She had refused to meet his eyes as he’d crouched in front of her, and pulled her to her feet. Not until the last moment, making him wish he could go against Sonny’s orders. She was wrecked, as if nothing could put her back together. She hadn’t looked that way since they’d first met and now he was powerless to do anything about it.

He closed the books and reached for his phone when it lit up. Francis. “Morgan,” he said, clenching his free hand into a fist. “Is Elizabeth okay?”

“Uh…” Elizabeth’s guard sounded hesitant. “You told me not to intervene with Lansing unless he put a hand on her, but he’s tracked her down on the Elm Street Pier, and Jason, you’re gonna wanna get down here.”

Jason was already on his feet, heading for the doors. “Is he threatening her? I’m at the warehouse, I can be there in just a few minutes.”

“He’s not…but it’s not good. And it’s going to get worse. Get here fast.”

“If he lays a finger on her, throw him in the harbor. Sonny’s orders be damned.”

Elm Street Pier

Jason found Francis standing at the top of the stairs, watching the scene below intently. As he stepped up, he heard Elizabeth choking something out, the tone and the words themselves making him clench his fists even more. As he prepared to step in, Francis held out an arm.

“Just wait,” he murmured. “Miss Webber might have a plan and you know how angry she gets when you help and she doesn’t want it.”

“Ric, I am not pregnant. I don’t know where—”

“You’re telling me Emily lied to me? That’s bullshit, and you know it—”

Jason pushed Francis away, so he could have his own view, to see how close Ric was to Elizabeth. If she was pregnant, this situation had become much more dangerous.

Ric had Elizabeth cornered the edge of the harbor. She had backed up so much that any further step would send her into the still icy water. Her face was contorted in apprehension and wariness…but not fear. Not yet. “Ric, I am not having your child—”

“I told myself that I would never let my children grow up without me, that after what my mother did,” Ric snarled, “I would never let myself be separated.” He reached for her arm, and Jason tensed, ready to leap over the railing if he needed. “You aren’t keeping me out of this—”

“I’m not pregnant.” Now Elizabeth sounded desperate. “Please. I don’t know what Emily told you—”

“I got your records from the hospital!”

And in that second, Jason saw Elizabeth’s expression freeze. It was the truth. She was pregnant. His heart stopped.

“How did…” Her voice faltered, and she glanced behind her, as if gauging the water’s proximity. She turned back and sighed, looking annoyed. “You’re lying.”

“You’re not as smart as you think you are.” Ric grabbed her arm. “If you think you’re keeping me from my child—”

“It’s not your child! You’re not the father!” Elizabeth cried, trying to jerk away from him, but she stumbled and almost slipped in. The time to stop watching this was over, and Jason started to move forward.

“Oh, the hell it’s not. Who else could it be?” Ric demanded.

If Jason could have had another moment to really think about his next actions, about the repercussions, then maybe he wouldn’t have done it. But there were only seconds, and so Jason made his decision.

He stormed down the steps, and grabbed Ric’s free hand, twisting it behind his back. “Who do you think?” he growled. “Let her go.”

Ric released Elizabeth and Jason sent him flying backwards. Francis placed a foot on his chest to keep Ric planted on the ground. His face impassive, he looked at Jason. “What should I do to him?”

“Hold him there a second.” Jason turned to Elizabeth, who was staring at him like she’d never seen him before. “Elizabeth. Are you all right?”

“I…” Her throat worked, but she never said anything else. She just stared at him.

“I don’t believe you,” Ric grunted. “You’re lying to protect her.”

“Let him up,” Jason told Francis. When the bastard was standing again, Jason started for him, his heart pounding. Ric had to believe this. He had to believe Elizabeth was not having his child. He needed to leave town and get the hell away from Elizabeth. He would if there was no child to hold him here. “I don’t lie. It’s my baby. Why do you think she didn’t tell you?” He glanced back at Elizabeth, meeting her eyes. Play along. They’d figure out the next step later, but in this moment, she had to play along.

“I’ve…” Elizabeth swallowed. “I’ve known for a few weeks,” she admitted. “Before what happened at Kelly’s and on the docks last week.” She forced herself to look at Ric. “And back then I thought you were a good guy, so I—I didn’t know how to tell you, and Jason and I—” She looked back at him and he nodded slightly. “We d-didn’t know how to handle it. It’s…not an easy situation.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “And I felt guilty.” Her face hardened, as if she remembered now why it had to happen this way. “And now I just feel sick I ever let you touch me.”

“You goddamn whore!” Ric started forward, but Jason had him by the throat and against the pillar of the docks.

“Keep doing this, Lansing. By all means,” he growled. He wanted Lansing to come at him, wanted to have an excuse to wipe him from the Earth. Sonny wouldn’t quibble with self-defense. “Keep coming at me, the people I love and I’ll forget I work for Sonny.”

“Jason,” Elizabeth said, her hand soft on his shoulder. “You have to let him go. Anyone could see here.” She was right, but it felt so good to have his hand around this bastard’s throat that he squeezed hard once more before releasing him.

“Get out of town, Lansing. Because I don’t know how much Sonny is going to be able to protect you if you go after Elizabeth again.”

Ric glared at them and then looked at Elizabeth with such hatred that Jason stepped in front of her. “You think this is over?” He chucked, the sound harsh and twisted. “You have no idea what I’m capable of.”

He disappeared into the shadows of the docks, his footsteps fading away. Finally, Jason squared his shoulders and looked at Elizabeth.

“Jason.” Elizabeth wrapped one hand around her waist, and then other fisted at her mouth, tears sliding down her cheeks. “What…”

“Not here.” He looked at Francis. “We’re going to the penthouse. Follow, make sure Lansing doesn’t.” He took Elizabeth’s elbow and steered her towards the steps.

“Jason,” Elizabeth said, turning to him at the top of the stairs. Her face was white, her eyes large and still full of fear. “What have we done?”

+5

Under your breath I hear your soft voice break 
Can we still be friends 
I hear you talking but you’re just not making sense 
I’ve been hoping for a happy ending 
Now I know that there won’t be any 
– A Few Words Too Many (Billie Myers)

Sunday, April 13, 2003

Kelly’s: Courtyard

Emily Bowen-Quartermaine sipped her iced tea and perused her anatomy textbook, waiting out Elizabeth’s shift. Her friend had been avoiding her all week—avoiding everyone really, as far as she could tell—and today was the day Emily pinned her down about it.

She turned a page and reflected at how different their friendship seemed to be now that Emily was home. They’d called, emailed and written each other while Emily had been in rehab in Arizona, and then at UCLA last year, but Emily had abruptly cut off all contact for almost three months last year after Elizabeth had admitted to sleeping with Zander Smith.

Emily wrinkled her nose, thinking about it again. Nothing bothered her more than thinking of the two of them together, and the only way she could look Elizabeth in the eye was if she put that completely out of her head.

Finally, Elizabeth emerged from the diner, a large tote bag over her shoulder. She tucked in green apron inside and took the seat across from Emily. Smiling wanly, she set the bag on the ground. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Emily took a deep breath. She was still best friends with Elizabeth. If she just ignored how angry she was about Zander, then she could get through this. If she pretended everything was good between them, then eventually it would be. She marked her page and closed the book, leaning back in her chair. “You look like crap.”

“Thanks.” Elizabeth rubbed her eyes. “I haven’t really been sleeping.”

Emily smiled brightly. “Is Ric keeping you awake?” she teased, but was surprised when any color the other woman had possessed faded from her cheeks. “Liz?”

“I’m…” Elizabeth hesitated, twisting the napkin in front of her. “I’m not seeing him anymore.”

“Oh.” Emily frowned. “He seemed really nice, you know. And I thought you liked him.”

“Yeah…” Elizabeth sighed. “Well, I think maybe it was just too soon for me to get involved with someone seriously.” She bit down on her lower lip. “Em…I’m pregnant.”

Emily blinked. “But you just said you broke up with Ric.” She furrowed her brow. “I don’t understand, Elizabeth. I mean, maybe he’s not perfect, but he was really nice to you. And you need to move on. You know you do. You’re pregnant.” She nodded firmly. “You should give him another chance. Don’t…don’t give up too quickly.”

“I know I need to move on,” Elizabeth murmured. “It’s just not as easy as you might think.” She exhaled slowly, and Emily resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “There are reasons I can’t…I can’t be with Ric.”

“Liz.” Emily hesitated, but decided the blunt truth was for the best. “Look, I totally know what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t love you back. It really sucks, but you can’t sit around pining for Jason. My brother, even if he really was that interested, is dating Courtney now.”

Elizabeth stared at her for a moment, as if confused by her words. “If he really was that interested…?” she repeated faintly.

Nope, Emily was not going to feed into this. She’d become friendly with Courtney Matthews since coming home, and it was clear that Jason had been interested in the blonde all last fall, long before Elizabeth had moved out of the penthouse. “Liz, I know you were staying at the penthouse, but that was to protect Zander. It’s not like you were living together.”

“I…” Elizabeth twisted her fingers together. “We talked about it…”

“You know Jason’s a man of action. If he wanted to be with you, he would,” Emily assured her. “Look at everything he did for Courtney.” Guilt settled in her stomach as Elizabeth’s cheeks flushed. “I’m not trying to hurt you, but I just…I want you to live in reality.”

“I know…I know you’re right about one thing,” Elizabeth said after a long moment. “If Jason wanted to be with me, he would.” She looked away. “I ruined it, and maybe he was trying to be nice when he told me it was too dangerous.” Her lips twisted. “It’s not too dangerous for Courtney, clearly.”

“The sooner you face the truth, the better off you’ll be.” Emily nodded firmly. “So if you’re pregnant, you should tell Ric and give him the opportunity to be the man you deserve.” Pleased, she stowed her text in her bag. “I’m glad we could talk about this honestly. You know I only want you to be happy.”

“I know.” But Elizabeth wouldn’t meet her eyes. Emily thought they might need to have this conversation once or twice more before Elizabeth really understood that her brother was out of her life for good. Emily was aware just how Elizabeth ruined her chance with Jason. After screwing with him two years earlier, she’d jerked him around again last summer, and probably slept with Zander to make him jealous.

Jason was better off, and one day, Elizabeth would find someone who would remind her how nice she used to be. Emily missed the girl who’d been dating Lucky. That Elizabeth had been her best friend, and Emily wanted her back.

Elm Street Pier

Elizabeth stopped at the bottom of the steps and took a moment to sit on the bench, closing her eyes and trying to force the conversation with Emily out of her head. She knew that her friendship with Jason’s sister would suffer a little considering what had happened last summer, but somehow she thought they would be able to get it back, rebuild it.

Emily had come home without warning the month before, and though they’d tried to be close again, it had felt hollow. Elizabeth had gone to a few dinners with Emily, Lucky and Nikolas, and it just felt like the four of them felt they should be friends like they had been four years ago and if they spent enough time together, it would feel natural again.

Despite Emily’s coolness, Elizabeth knew that she couldn’t blame Emily for trying to push her back to Ric. Emily didn’t know all the information. And even if the words had hurt…she needed to be reminded that the relationship she thought she’d been building with Jason really had been in her head.

“I knew I’d finally track you down.”

Elizabeth’s eyes snapped open as she saw Ric stepping off the bottom stair, with a grin on his face. Oh, she was going to be sick right here in front of him, she just knew it.

Ric continued towards her and Elizabeth fought the urge to get up and run. “You haven’t returned my phone calls all week.” He stopped in front of the bench and slid his hands in the pockets of his light tan khakis. “What’s going on, Beautiful?”

Elizabeth squared her shoulders and stood. Time to channel her inner Lizzie Webber. That annoying smart-ass was still inside, somewhere. She was sure of it. “Can’t take a hint, Ric?” she asked coolly.

She watched his narrow, and wonder how stupid she’d been to miss the calculation in those brown eyes. “A hint?” he repeated, his tone matching hers.

Elizabeth tightened her grip on her tote bag slung over her shoulder. “Usually,” she bit out, “when someone stops returning calls and texts, they’re trying to brush you off.”

She took a step towards the other side of the docks, towards her studio, but he stepped in front of her. “Whoa, what changed, Elizabeth?” He put his hands up, preventing her from darting to the side. “I thought we were having a good time—”

“Well, you thought wrong.” Elizabeth tossed head back, her hair swinging over her shoulder. “So I’m going to leave now, Ric, and you’re going to let me.”

He took a step towards her, and Elizabeth felt it necessary to step back, feeling her ire fade and her nerves kick in. This was the man who was in league with Faith Roscoe. Maybe she should have handled this differently. “Listen, Ric—”

“You’ve been talking to Sonny or Jason.” She tried to keep her expression level, her eyes unchanged, but there must have been something, because his lips pressed together. “Jason. He told you something. Now, you know you can’t trust him—”

“It has nothing to do with Sonny or Jason. They’ve told me nothing,” Elizabeth cut in. Maybe they would have warned her again, had Jason not seen her two days earlier, almost in a fetal position, after hearing the truth. “I can make my own decisions—”

“No, no…” Ric wagged a finger at her. “They’ve poisoned you against me, Elizabeth. I can’t believe you’d trust them after everything Jason has done.” He stepped towards her, voice softening. “I know he broke your heart, Elizabeth, but I care about you—”

“I would like you to leave me alone,” Elizabeth said. She tried to step around him again, but again Ric stepped in front her. Oh, God. What was she going to do if he didn’t move? Could she run? If she turned and ran the way she came, back up the stairs…could she get away? “Ric, please let me walk away.”

“No, I want to know what they said to make you run away from me,” Ric snarled, all charm vanished from his voice. His face changed, and Elizabeth knew she was seeing the Ric Lansing now, all layers of charm stripped away. “What did they tell you, Elizabeth?” He reached for her arm, and Elizabeth stumbled back.

“Nothing,” Elizabeth repeated, struggling to keep her voice level. “Ric, I’m telling you the truth. I haven’t talked to Sonny or Jason in weeks.”

“Right,” Ric drawled. “Well, that’s certainly possible since we both know they’ve basically forgotten your existence.”

Nausea was climbing up her throat, and Elizabeth thought this was a hell of a time to be suffering that morning sickness that never seemed to happen in the morning. He could not, absolutely could not, see her getting sick.

Ric could never find out about this baby. This conversation had sealed the deal on that.

“It’s true we’re not close anymore,” Elizabeth said, slowly, “but I’m sure if I needed them, I could ask for help.” When Ric just smirked, Elizabeth took a small step back. Get close to the steps. Maybe she could kick him and then run. “But I don’t need them, because they’ve said nothing to me, okay? I just…” She licked her lips. “I just don’t want to date you anymore. Why isn’t that enough?”

“Because you’re lying to me. Sonny told you something, I know he did.” Ric reached out for her, and Elizabeth stumbled back again. She was lifting her leg to kick him in the knees, just like Jason taught her once, when boots clattered down the steps like a freight train.

Before Elizabeth could really process what was happening, Jason had passed her, grabbed Ric by the throat and sent him sprawling on the docks. She just blinked.

“You just don’t know when to quit, do you?” Jason snarled. He reached for Ric again, to do what, Elizabeth couldn’t imagine, but Ric crawled away frantically. “Sonny told you to get the hell out of town.”

“I knew it,” Ric hissed, glaring at her, rising to his feet. “I knew Jason told you everything—”

“Told me what?” Elizabeth said, feeling some of Lizzie filter back in. “That I’m amusing and it’s entertaining to screw Jason Morgan’s ex-bed buddy? To pretend to sleep with Carly because sleeping with me wasn’t giving you enough leverage?” She raised an eyebrow. “Is that what you think they told me?”

Ric stared at her, and Elizabeth was stunned at the loathing that crept into his expression. He took a step forward, but a growl from Jason stopped him. “You would believe them—”

“They didn’t have to tell me.” Elizabeth folded her arms across her chest. “No one bothered to check to see if Kelly’s was empty. I was closing when you decided to tell your half-brother all the details.”

“Elizabeth,” Jason said quietly, looking at her. “Francis is at the top of the stairs. He’ll walk you back to the studio.”

“Oh, so she can leave me here and you can deal with me?” Ric growled. “Don’t bother.” He sent Elizabeth another glare, and disappeared into the shadows.

Elizabeth released a breath, and lowered herself to sit on the bottom step of the stairs, wishing she could just disappear. “Well, go ahead and yell at me.”

She felt Jason sit next to her. “Why would I yell?”

She opened her eyes, but didn’t dare look at him. “At least an I told you so would probably suffice. I wouldn’t be in this position if I had just…” She sighed, remembering her conversation with Emily. “If I had just kept my head on straight.” Elizabeth stood and bit her lip. “Thank you for getting rid of him.”

“He might come back and harass you,” Jason warned. “He’s in trouble with…” He looked away. “He’s in trouble with people who aren’t in Sonny’s position, so it might not be a problem for too much longer.”

“Hmm…” Elizabeth nodded, understanding. Well, then maybe Ric would be out of her life before he could find out she was pregnant. “Well, let’s hope that’s true.” Her stomach rolled in protest and she wondered if she was going make it to her studio. She could not get sick in front Jason. “I’m going to get going. I, ah…” She smiled weakly. “I’m not feeling that great, so…”

“I’ll walk you back to your studio,” Jason said, taking a step towards her but Elizabeth shook her head. Because that would be a disaster.

“No, no. Um.” She licked her lips. “That’s really not necessary, okay? I don’t think…” She cast her eyes up the top of the stairs. “Maybe Francis can walk me. It’s not far.” She frowned and then looked back at him. “How did you know I was down here?”

When Jason looked away, Elizabeth felt a little of her ire at him fade. Despite everything, maybe he still thought of her as a friend. “Francis called you because he’s watching me.”

“Ah…” Jason dipped his chin to his chest. “Yeah. After Friday…I figured you’d be breaking things off with Ric, so I just…” He jerked a shoulder. “Sonny thought it was the least we could do.” He paused. “Since it’s really our fault Ric targeted you.”

Immediately, the warmth in her stomach faded. Pity. Guilt. No, that fit her life much more. “No, it’s my fault,” Elizabeth said, firmly. She was not going to let them take this on. “Maybe he sought me out because we used to be friends, but I didn’t have to date him.” She sighed. “And maybe his research should have been better. I’m sure he’s pissed he wasted all those months asking me questions.”

Jason frowned. “He asked you questions? About us?” He paused. “About me and Sonny, I mean.”

“Yeah, which should have been my first sign.” Elizabeth rubbed her forehead, forcing the bile down. “But you know, I thought the threat would come with explosives or guns, not questions from someone who said I was beautiful.” Shut up, Elizabeth. Shut up. “Anyway, you don’t have to worry. I don’t know anything, and even if I did, I wouldn’t say anything.” She straightened her shoulders. “I don’t want you feeling guilty. I got myself into this situation, and I don’t need you get me out of it.” She hesitated. “I may need you to throw Ric around again, but other than that…I can take care of myself.”

“Okay.” Jason nodded slowly. “Well, if you don’t want me to walk you home, then…I’ll get Francis.” After another moment, he walked passed her and started up the stairs.

The last thing she needed was more time in Jason’s company. She would rather jump in the harbor. She just needed Ric to get out of town, and then figure out the best way to support herself and a baby.

And figure out what to tell people about the father. No one could ever know about Ric. She had to protect her child.

+6