Someday, somehow
I’m gonna make it alright but not right now
I know you’re wondering when
You’re the only one who knows that
Someday, somehow
I’m gonna make it alright but not right now
I know you’re wondering when
– Someday, Nickelback

---

Sunday, September 28, 2008

General Hospital: Hallway

Jason furrowed his brow, considered the information Cody had shared in a hushed voice. “It could be a trick,” he said. “How easy is the ammunition to get?”

“Not difficult at all,” the other man said. “But you don’t see it used much outside of hits made by the Russian mob.”

“It’s still not enough,” Jason said, “but, okay, yeah it might point back to Karpov. That’s all we can get?”

“PCPD doesn’t have much to go on either,” Cody said, almost apologetically. “The gun wasn’t left behind, so the shooter obviously had an exit plan or was able to blend in with the wedding guests who were running from the building. Honestly? Whoever pulled this off knew what they were doing.”

“Sonny’s not going to want to hear that,” Jason muttered. He glanced back into the ICU room to make sure Elizabeth was still sleeping. “Okay. Everything else?”

“Running smoothly. You were planning to be gone for a week anyway, so we’re all good. Really,” Cody said when Jason looked skeptical. “I’d tell you.”

“Okay. Uh—” Jason rubbed the side of his brow with his thumb, trying to order his thoughts. He would need to get some real rest soon. “The penthouse. I need a security audit of the entire floor. We haven’t done an upgrade since Sonny moved out.”

“Yeah, sure. You, uh, thinking of moving in some small humans?” Cody asked, attempting a smile. Jason just raised his brows. “Okay. I’ll ask it straight out then. Are we done pretending Jake isn’t your son?”

Jason’s jaw clenched, and he looked away.  “I’m not getting into that right now.” At least not with Cody. Not before he told Elizabeth about Lucky and their confrontation in the emergency room. “But get Spinelli to do whatever he needs to with one of the guest rooms for Cameron and Jake. Crib, toddler bed. Whatever.”

He didn’t wait for Cody’s answer, but returned to the room, taking the chair next to the bed. His eyes felt gritty, throbbing with a dull ache from lack of sleep. He leaned over, resting his elbows on the bed, putting his head in his hands.

There was too much swirling, too much to keep straight. Kate had been shot less than twenty-four hours earlier, and they didn’t know a damn thing. Sonny could be making everything worse. Lucky had dumped the boys with Audrey, quit his job, and left for California because Jason had dared him to make a choice. And Cody was asking him about Jake, making it clear that no one had actually bought the fiction he and Elizabeth had spent the last year trying to sell.

He didn’t remember closing his eyes or even drifting into a light doze. Only vaguely became aware of someone touching him, lighting combing through his hair. He sat up, blinked, and saw Elizabeth looking back at him. “You’re awake. How—” He looked around. “When—how long?”

“A few minutes. You look so tired,” she said. “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“I don’t—” He squinted. “I don’t remember. A little. I don’t need a lot of sleep—”

“But you still need some,” she said gently, and he sighed, looked down at the bed, his hands still laying atop the thin, scratchy white blanket.

“I’ll sleep tonight. I promise,” he added when she looked skeptical. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay. I think. Patrick gave me some of the stuff that makes you fuzzy. Like—” She lifted her hand just a few inches off the bed. “I’m here, and I can sort of think. But I feel like I’m floating.”

“But no pain?” he pressed.

“No. No. Um—Patrick and Carly—they’re gone?”

“Long gone. It’s been a few hours.”

“I hate that,” she muttered, shifting slightly, and fumbled in the sheets for the bed controls. He found it, handed it to her, and helped her to slowly raise the bed. “We—were arguing, Carly and me. I think.”

“No. Should I get Patrick? Do you want him?”

“No. No.” She licked her lips. “Can I have some water?”

“Yeah, sure. Okay.”

When she’d sipped a little, he set the cup back on the table, the straw dangling. “What do you need now? Something to eat? I can—”

“I need to understand what’s going on.” Elizabeth waited until he looked at her. Her brows were drawn together. “You’ve been here all day. Carly said you were here all night—”

“Don’t worry about that—”

“People will see—” Elizabeth turned her head, looked through the clear walls of her room, at the bustle of the hospital. “They can see you.”

“I know. I don’t care.”

“You—” She looked back at him, licked her lips. “You don’t?”

“No.” He took her hand in both of his, brought it to his lips. “All that matters is that you’re okay. That’s it.”

“I feel like there’s—” She stilled, then her eyes sharpened, and her head jerked back towards the door, then to him. “Carly. She was here. She said Lucky went to California.”

Jason winced. He’d hoped she’d forgotten that. “Don’t worry about that just yet, okay?”

“I can’t—”

“I called your grandmother last night, and I’ve spoken with her a few times. She has the boys, and they’re fine. Bobbie went over to help, and she’ll stay with them so your grandmother can come see you.”

“Right, but California wasn’t—” Elizabeth swallowed hard. “I was going to tell you. In Italy. B-Because Lucky told me yesterday. But we were supposed to have time. He wasn’t supposed to go yet—”

“I know that, too. I—” Jason hesitated. “I talked to Lucky yesterday. There was a setback with Lulu. The wedding—”

Elizabeth’s expression crumbled. “Oh. Oh, no. I didn’t even think about that—is she all right? What happened?”

“She’s—I didn’t get a lot of the details, but Spinelli can find out more. I’ll call him. I just know that she’s…”

“Is it like Laura? Like her mother? They can’t get her back.”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes. “I’ve known her since she was a little girl, you know. Constantly on the move, and then when Laura got sick, she was passed around to relatives until Luke was forced to deal with her. And now she might be…”

“I’m sorry.”

She looked at him. “Carly said Lucky resigned from the PCPD. So he’s just…gone. Like that. Without talking to me.”

“I—I think so,” Jason said carefully. “He stopped by your grandmother’s with the bags you packed for the boys.”

Elizabeth turned away from him, closing her eyes, but he could see the tears slipping past her lashes.

“But they don’t know anything yet,” Jason said quickly. “They just think they’re staying with your grandmother while their aunt is sick. They don’t even know you were in an accident.”

“I hate it. I hate that this is happening. That he did this in a way so that I can’t fight him—” Her voice faltered.

This was the moment — the time to tell her that Lucky might have had a slight push out the door, but Jason didn’t say anything. She was upset enough, and he remembered Patrick’s warnings.

So, instead, he stroked the back of her hand, the inside of her wrist, and waited for her to look at him. To open her eyes—even if the tears still shimmering nearly broke his resolve.

“I’m so sorry,” she managed.

Startled, Jason shook his head. “Why are you sorry?”

“B-Because I p-picked him. I asked you—God, I ask you to let that man raise your son a-and he j-just left—”

“Hey, we made that decision together. For Jake’s safety. His happiness. And he is happy,” Jason told her. He kissed the inside of her palm. “He’s smart, happy, and healthy. He’s perfect. He’s such an amazing kid, and you did that. Both of them. That’s what you promised me, Elizabeth, and you’ve kept that. You promised to give my son a family and he has that. You and Cameron and Audrey—”

“He should have you,” Elizabeth managed. “I want him to have you.”

“I want him, too. We’ll talk about all of it. I promise.” He kissed her hand again. “But you can’t get upset because your monitors will start beeping again and Patrick will kick me out this time.”

She smiled then, and the tightness in chest eased. “Don’t tell me you’re scared of Patrick. Not Stone Cold Jason Morgan.”

“He’s not impressed by that,” Jason told her, and her smile just deepened.

“Someone who isn’t cowed by the infamous stare? That never happens.”

“Not very often,” he admitted, and was rewarded when she laughed. “You never were.”

“You’ve never used it on me.” She closed her eyes. “And I don’t think you could pull it off on me now.”

“Definitely not.” He pressed another kiss against her knuckles. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Kelly’s: Dining Room

“Oh, thank God.” Carly rushed up to the counter, catching Bobbie’s hand when her mother reached for a brown bag on the counter. “I was hoping I’d run into you. I need your help.”

“I can’t—I have to get this back over to Audrey’s. I promised I’d pick up some food and sit with Jake and Cameron so she could finally get to the hospital—”

“Oh, that’s perfect. That’s perfect. Because that’s what I need help with.”

Bobbie hesitated, looking at her daughter more closely. “I don’t understand.”

Carly grimaced, then folded her arms. “I made a small mistake. I took Jason some clothes at the hospital, and he asked me to sit with Elizabeth for a minute while he dealt with Sonny, and don’t make that look, Mama, I was nice to her, that’s not where I messed up.”

“Carly—”

“I didn’t mean to do it, but I just—I was so irritated because she was already talking about Lucky, and Jason was the one sitting with her—”

“Stop—” Bobbie held up her hand, glancing around them. The diner wasn’t crowded, but it wasn’t empty either.  “Stop. Let’s take this conversation somewhere else.” She grabbed the bag and headed for the courtyard, then the parking lot. She reached her car, then turned to level an irritated glare at her daughter. “I really shouldn’t be the one telling you not to do this where people can hear you. You know better, Carly. Do you really think Jason wants his business blasted everywhere?”

“No. No.” Carly dragged her hands through her hair. “And I know you’re right. Damn it. I keep doing this. It’s exactly what happened at the hospital. I overheard about Lucky and California. When Elizabeth started talking about Lucky and the boys, I messed—”

“You told her? She just woke up from major surgery—”

“I know. All those machines started to go wild, and Patrick came in. She had to be sedated. I guess she got upset.” Carly bit her lip. “Jason’s really pissed at me. He told me to get away from him. I have to fix this.”

“You fix this by going home and spending time with your son. Morgan’s been through enough—”

“But that’s what makes this perfect! You’re going to go hang out with Elizabeth’s kids! Morgan already knows Cam. They’re in the same preschool class. I can take the boys. And you, of course, you, too. And I can get Cam to school tomorrow, and Audrey won’t have to worry at all.”

Bobbie hesitated.  “It’s not the worst idea you’ve ever had,” she admitted. It would solve a few problems, and it would actually be good for Morgan to be around the boys. He was lonely with his brother gone. It would take the pressure off Audrey— “I don’t think Jason would complain since it solves a few problems at once—and keeps you away from the hospital. But if Audrey says no, then we shut it down. No arguing.”

“Got it. I won’t even say a word. Thank you. I just know Jason is going to appreciate this, and he’s going to realize that I can think about someone other than myself. You’ll see. This is the best idea for everyone.”

General Hospital: Hallway

Maxie darted a look over her shoulder, then hissed at Spinelli. “You keep watch, okay?”

“The Jackal is here to serve.” He offered her a two fingered salute, then Maxie ducked inside the conference room and closed the door.

She took a deep breath and flashed a harassed smile at the man waiting for her. “Sorry. I just have to make sure Benito Falconieri doesn’t find out that I’m giving you any information—”

Sonny’s brows creased together. “Benito—” Then a smile curved his lips. “That’s not a bad one, actually. I’m not looking to get you in trouble, Maxie—I just want to know what’s going on.”

“Totally. It’s just—there’s not much of an update. Kate spent most of the night in spinal surgery.” Maxie rubbed her arms. “They said it was successful — removed the bullet and all, but there’s still, like, swelling in the cord. And that she might be unconscious for most of the day. I’m sorry. I wish it was better news.”

“Yeah, me, too—” Sonny closed his mouth when he heard the door behind them, the twisting of the knob.

Maxie spun around, bracing herself for the full wrath of Olivia Falconieri, but was instead confronted with Jax—though the Australian didn’t look happy either.

“I thought I might find you in here,” Jax said blandly. Behind him, Spinelli looked miserable.

“You had one job, Spinelli,” Maxie hissed.  She held a finger up at him. “Just the one!”  Then she flashed a bright smile at Jax. “Listen—”

“Sonny was just leaving,” Jax interrupted. He stepped aside, held the door open, and Maxie shivered from the tension in the air.

“Was I, Candyboy?” Sonny said, tilting his head. “I’m not so sure.”

“You can leave now, or I’ll make sure that Olivia knows what Maxie is up to.”

Stricken, Maxie looked at Sonny, and the other man sighed, rubbed his face. “Kate would not want me locked out of this,” he muttered. “And you damn well know it—”

“Well, we don’t know that for sure, not since she’s been shot for the second time because of you” Jax’s scowl deepened. “I suppose we should all be grateful that it wasn’t worse. That she’s not the next resident of Silver Water.”

Sonny flinched, then looked away. “When she wakes up, I’ll be the one in the room, and you’ll be the one on the outside looking in.”

“I look forward to having that argument with her. Until then—”

Sonny stalked past Jax and disappeared from Maxie’s view. Then Jax looked at Maxie. “I find you passing information to him again, you’re out, too—”

“Does it make you feel good to throw Michael in his face?” Maxie demanded. Jax grimaced. “Are you so perfect, have you made so few mistakes that you can stand here and act like you’re in the right? Kate is going to be furious when she wakes up and realizes what you and Olivia did—”

“But we both know you’re going to do exactly what I’ve said,” Jax cut in coolly, and Maxie glared at him. “Because you’re too selfish to risk losing your access to Kate. Do what you do best, Maxie, and think about yourself. Leave the rest of it to the adults in the room.”

Hardy House: Living Room

Audrey pulled the door open, breathing a sigh of relief when she saw that it was Bobbie, carrying the promised dinner from Kelly’s. “Oh, thank goodness. The boys were getting hungry, and—Carly.” She forced a smile on her face when she realized Bobbie’s daughter was hovering behind her on the porch. “Ah, it’s so nice to see you.”

“You too, Mrs. Hardy.” Carly clasped her hands behind her back.

“Well, come on in. Thank you so much for getting dinner, and for agreeing to stay with the boys for another hour or so.” Audrey closed the door behind the women, then gestured towards the sofa. Cameron was laying in front of the coffee table, staring up at something on the television and next to him, Jake was building a tower from plastic blocks. “I just know that I would feel so much better if I saw Elizabeth, even for a little a while.”

“Well, Carly thought—and I agreed—that we might be able to go a little further.” Bobbie set the bagged dinner on the table. “Cameron and Morgan are in the same preschool class this year.”

“Oh.” Audrey looked at the boys blankly for a second. “I’d forgotten about school tomorrow. I didn’t even—I’m not even sure what the drop off process is—”

“I can help,” Carly volunteered. “Um—I know Cam and Morgan get along well. He talks about him sometimes. I can do the drop off. I’ll come by tomorrow morning and pick him up. Or—” She swallowed hard. “Maybe you’ll let me take the boys overnight, at least tonight so you can get organized with everything, you know? This—you weren’t planning to have them, and I know firsthand how much little boys eat—” Her voice dropped slightly, and she looked away.

“It’s a lovely offer,” Audrey said slowly, “but I wouldn’t feel right without talking to Elizabeth. You and my granddaughter aren’t exactly friends,” she said to Carly.

“That’s true. But Jason and I—ow—” Carly flinched when Bobbie elbowed her. “What? Oh. Um, well, then Mama and I will hang out here while you go see Elizabeth and you can ask her. It’s really cool whatever you guys decide. It’s just—once I thought of it, I really thought it might be a good idea. Because—Morgan—he could use some kids around.” She cleared her throat. “He’s…not used to being an only child.”

Audrey exhaled slowly, her heart aching. Of course. Michael had been gone for six months. “I’m so sorry, Carly.”

“You’d really be doing me the favor. So, like I said, you can run it by Elizabeth. I’m up for whatever makes things easier. I can do the drop-off, the pick-up. Anything.”

“Well, I can certainly suggest it to Elizabeth,” Audrey said after a minute, then nodded. “All right. I’ll go see Elizabeth, and I’ll call you as soon as I have an answer. Thank you. For thinking of me. I just—I need to see my granddaughter.”

“Of course, Audrey. Whatever I can do.” Bobbie squeezed Audrey’s hand. “We’ll get through this.”

General Hospital: Elizabeth’s Room

Elizabeth winced as she sat up, smiling gratefully when Patrick put another pillow behind her. “Thanks. I’m tired of lying flat on my back. I keep falling back asleep—”

“Good. You’re supposed to rest,” he said with a grunt. “What is it with women and not listening to their doctors?”

Elizabeth smiled faintly. “Problems with Robin?”

“No. No. She’s great—” He rubbed his face. “She’s supposed to be taking it easy. That’s the whole point of reducing her hours, cutting back on patient load.”

“Oh, you’re not going to comment on someone not respecting a work-life balance, are you?”

Patrick made a face. “If this is a judgment about my schedule, I’m not the one carrying a second person—”

“No, just the weight of an entire hospital, in addition to a pregnant fiancée—and did I miss the part where you cut back on patients when you took the desk job?”

Patrick opened his mouth, then made a face. “I don’t like that you have a point.” He picked up the control for her bed. “Thanks for not mentioning the other thing.”

“The other thing?” Elizabeth frowned, then made a face. “Oh, you mean finding out about Matt.”

Patrick stared at her blandly, then wrinkled his nose. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“But you did.”

“Because I thought you were avoiding talking about it. Not that you’d forgotten,” he muttered.

“Concussion, it took me a second,” she reminded him, and he rolled his eyes. “Let me just say one thing—”

“You have never, not once, in your life, been able to limit yourself to one thing.”

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes, then pouted slightly. “I was going to argue that you haven’t known me that long, but you’re not wrong. So—okay, stop distracting me.”

“Caught on to my clever plan.” When she didn’t smile, Patrick sighed. “Okay, say your one thing, and then you’re cut off from this topic.”

“Don’t worry, I’m mostly on your side about this. If you don’t want to talk to Matt or your father, that’s your choice, and I support you.”

“That’s not your one thing, is it?” Patrick asked.

“Nice try. No. But not seeing or talking to either of them doesn’t actually make this go away. We both know it’s in the back of your mind whether you want it to be or not. I just know as someone who’s kept that kind of secret — it’s not an easy one to live with. Even if it seems like it might be. Or should be. Because ignoring it won’t change the fact that you know. And until you find a way to deal with it, it’ll keep popping back up.”

He was quiet for a long moment, then exhaled. “It just messes with everything I ever thought about my parents. My father dove into the bottle after we lost my mother, and I hated him for it. It wasn’t easy to get past that, but after meeting Robin—” He looked at Elizabeth. “I could understand loving someone so much that losing them that way, blaming yourself, could destroy you. But now I know that’s not what happened. Because how could my father love her like that and have an affair? He had another child that he knew about and walked away. What kind of man does that?”

He played with the threads of the frayed blanket. “I didn’t know if I wanted to be a father, but Robin went out of her way to make sure I had a choice. Lied to me to make sure I had that choice,” he added, and Elizabeth smiled. “I had to force my way in, you know? Fight to be part of it because she was so sure I didn’t want it. I can’t blame her for that. I’m the one that convinced her I didn’t want kids.”

Patrick looked at Elizabeth. “You said you lied to Jason about Jake. And Lucky. Jason let you do that—I don’t know, maybe that’s because of his job—but how do you let go of that? How do you ever look at Lucky in the face knowing that he’s left for California without telling you?”

“I think,” Elizabeth said carefully, “it’s not a good idea to compare the situations. What Lucky’s chosen — it’s not the same. Initially, I didn’t exactly give Jason the choice either. I kept the secret for months. And after I told him, when we were trapped in that elevator—oh, he was upset, disappointed. But then he was happy.”

She closed her eyes. “I asked Jason to give Jake up. Because I thought Lucky and I could get back to where we’d been before the drugs. Before Maxie. I asked him to let the lie stand. Because of how hard it would be for Sam, because of his job—I threw all of that at him. I knew he’d agree. I knew he didn’t want to, but I asked anyway. Jason agreeing to do it is on me, and never him. He has nothing to atone for. Nothing to forgive.”

“That’s…” Patrick sat up. “Okay. Okay. Yeah, I guess when you layer it up that way, maybe it makes sense that he agreed. Can I say that was a shitty thing for you to do?” he asked. “Because—”

“Absolutely, without a doubt, one of the cruelest conversations I’ve ever had with Jason, and I wish I could tell you there weren’t others. I’ll regret that choice for the rest of my life. For taking those final months of my pregnancy from Jason, from taking this first year from him — I can’t ever take any of that back, Patrick. I don’t know if Noah’s haunted by what he chose. Only he does.”

She shifted, wincing at the pain flashing in her temple. “As for Lucky, I have less sympathy. He’s the one that decided that the baby was his reason to be sober. He tied his sobriety to that little boy, a weight no child deserves, and I think less of myself for allowing that to happen. I wasn’t enough. Cameron, that little boy who adores him? Wasn’t enough. But a biological child, that was enough. But I didn’t see it then, and I’ll regret it every day for the rest of my life. He found out after the ball last year, and if he’d decided to walk away from them both, I’d have understood. He had every right to be furious, to never speak to me again. What I did was horrible, to him and to Jason.”

“But he stayed,” Patrick said.

“He did. And I would never, ever take Cameron away. Jake is more complicated — I want Jason to have that relationship with Jake, and if he chooses it now, I’ll be glad. But until Lucky started talking about leaving for California and just seeing the boys on holidays, putting them on planes to go see him and Sam—” Her mouth pinched. “I was already furious and planning how to respond. But this? Walking away from them without even speaking to me? I can’t understand that.”

“Especially since he didn’t have to go right away,” Patrick said. “Lulu isn’t even being transferred until tomorrow. Yeah, I’m with you. He can kick rocks. Cut him out. What he did to your poor grandmother is ridiculous. So you get it. You get why I can’t forgive my father.”

“I do. I think if you and Matt decide to never speak to Noah Drake again, he’s more than earned that. But—”

“Oh, man—” He scrunched his nose.

“I’m just going to say one thing and you have to let me because I’m injured and my head hurts,” Elizabeth said.

“This is like your third thing, but fine.”

“I was building up to this part. You don’t have to pretend you love him or even like him. You’re not obligated to be his brother in anything other than name. All you share with him is a biological relationship. And you are not required to give him more than that. He’s not required to do more than that. You could have grown up together and walked away with nothing but that tie. I mean, do you see my siblings in this room? My parents? Loving each other—that’s a choice. And no one should force you or Matt to make it.”

Patrick dipped his head, took a long breath. “But you have an opinion on the matter.”

“I’m sure looking at him is hard right now. Maybe it’s hard for him to look at you, too. He knew the truth and said nothing, right? He sees the son your father chose, and you see the proof that your father is a terribly flawed man—of someone who lied to you, to your mother maybe, to the woman he was with, and to that boy he threw away. That’s a lot of resentment and hurt to carry. Maybe the two of you will never be more than colleagues. But I think you might want to think about giving yourself permission to forgive Matt for existing. Because he never asked to be, and he’s certainly not begging you for more.”

“That—” Patrick lifted his gaze to hers, his mouth curved in a half smile. “Is not terrible advice actually.” He cleared his throat. “So, uh, where’s Prince Charming? This is the longest he’s left you alone since you came in—”

“I told him to go home and take a shower. Sleep. That was a few hours ago, so I hope he’s doing it.”

“Good, then that gives me time to move on to my next topic.” He rubbed his hands together. “How soon can we get together with your divorce lawyer and cut the damn cord with custody?”

“I like how your priorities are always in order,” Elizabeth said dryly. “You don’t even want to say anything about Jason?”

“No, because now you have me feeling sorry for the lousy bastard. I’m more interested in the good stuff. We get to eliminate Lucky completely. Best news all day. Seriously.”

She rolled her eyes, then looked towards the hallway, her breath catching a little as she realized Jason was walking with her grandmother, talking. Gram was smiling, then Jason—

“Huh, you know I always thought if I actually saw his mouth make a smile, it’d be creepier,” Patrick said. She shot him a dark look but said nothing before the door slid open, and Gram was there.

“Darling.” Gram came across the room, kissed her forehead. “I ran into Jason in the hallway—but you didn’t tell me she was sitting up—” she said to Jason.

“Because she’s supposed to be resting.” Jason studied the pillow behind Elizabeth’s head, then looked at Patrick. “You’re not concerned with the concussion?”

“I’m sorry, you’re telling me you know how to tell her what to do? Because, please—” Patrick got to his feet. “Share. We could all use that information.”

“Oh, that would have been very useful when she was a teenager.” Audrey eyed Jason meaningfully. “Though she ran away or moved out every time I tried.”

Jason scratched his temple and went around to the other side of the bed, avoiding her grandmother’s scrutiny, and Elizabeth was startled to see some amusement in Audrey’s expression. Were they—was Jason getting along with her grandmother? What had happened while she was unconscious?

“I think this is a good time for me to head out. Thanks, by the way. For the advice.” Patrick kissed Elizabeth’s forehead. “Do me a favor, and actually rest.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Patrick left the room, and Elizabeth was left alone with her grandmother and Jason.

It was time to take her own advice and learn from her own experience. “Gram. I’m so glad you’re here. There’s something I need to tell you.” She looked at Jason, then back at Audrey, remembering Carly’s words, annoying though true. It’s what you decide, and you damn well know it.

“We need to talk about why Jason’s here. And Jake. We really need to talk about Jake.”

Crimson Pointe: Foyer

Sonny might have left the hospital without further argument, but he wasn’t willing to just let the situation sit idle. Or go home to sleep. How was he supposed to lay his head down and close his eyes knowing that Kate was in the hospital — knowing that someone was getting away with trying to kill her— maybe Jason could sit back and wait for information to come to him, but Sonny sure as hell wasn’t built that way.

And so Sonny found himself commanding Max to drive him to Crimson Pointe to confront Anthony on his own turf, letting his fury build every minute of the long drive.

He stalked past the guard who had let him in, through the foyer into the front parlor where Anthony was waiting, reclining in his wheelchair, flanked by Ric and Claudia on either side. Johnny was by the windows, his jaw clenched.

Refusing to meet Sonny’s eyes. Damn it. The kid didn’t have a poker face — he knew something.

“How’s the stick?” Claudia asked, fisting a hand at her hip, a smirk on her lips, painted a deep, dark red. “Last we heard, she was bleeding out in the chapel—”

“Claudia, that’s not helping, ” Ric said. “Sonny—”

“You don’t get to speak,” Sonny told his brother with a jab of his finger. “You’ve done more than enough. I came here for one reason and one reason only—”

“Because you’re a moron?” Claudia offered. Sonny glared at her.

“She may be a lying bitch, but she’s not wrong,” Anthony said. Claudia rolled her eyes, barely taking offense at her father’s barb. What a twisted, horrible relationship. “You come here on your own, and what? We parlay or something? Trade information—”

“No. I know you’re involved. You know you’re involved. And you’re weak enough that you dragged your own son into this—”

“You leave my brother out of this.” Claudia stepped forward, shrugged off the arm Ric tried to grab. “Haven’t you blamed him for enough? He didn’t shoot your little waif this time or the last — ”

“Your days are numbered, old man,” Sonny said, ignoring the furious woman. “Make your peace with God.”

“He won’t have me.” Anthony sneered. “Anything else? You got more threats?”

“Why would anyone want to hurt Kate?” Ric said, still attempting to broker a peace. “Sonny, you’re out. You made that clear when you turned down Karpov a few months ago. Why aren’t you looking at the Russians—”

“You think I’m stupid. You don’t have a clue what you’ve started, you crazy bastard. But you will.”

He stormed out, slamming the door in his wake. Johnny stared after him, then looked at his father. “Is he right? Were you involved?”

“Why would any of us want to harm sweet little delicate Kate Howard?” Anthony said with mock concern. “Sonny doesn’t have the juice anymore. Morgan’s got the power. Though my people tell me he’s not moving much on this. I hear he’s distracted.” His lips curved into a smile. “It’d be a shame if someone took advantage of that.”

Ric tensed, and Johnny straightened. Even from the sofa, Claudia’s smile faded. She sat up, suddenly looking less combative.

“What exactly does that mean?” Ric said.

“Oh, relax—” Anthony made a face. “I know my limits. I go after the nurse Morgan thinks none of us know about, and I might as well write my own obituary. Especially right now. Your ex-wife is safe,” he told his lawyer.

“Anthony—” Ric began, his tone warning.

“But there’s lots of other ways we could have a little fun. I should go find the other useless lawyer I’m paying. I’ve got some thoughts.” He wheeled himself towards his study, and Ric reluctantly followed.

“Do you think he did it?” Johnny watched Anthony disappear from view. “Claudie—”

“What we know and what we’re going to tell anyone are two different things.” Claudia rose to her feet. “But you may wanna stay out of Port Charles right now. It’s a little too hot up there.”

I build myself up
And fly around in circles
Waiting as my heart drops
And my back begins to tingle
Finally, could this be it, or
Should I give up?
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
– Chasing Pavements, Adele

---

Monday, September 29, 2008

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Spinelli padded out from the kitchen, a glass of orange soda clutched in his hand. If anyone had pointed out to him that it was barely eight in the morning, he’d only look at them in confusion. What was the difference really between orange soda and orange juice?

Spinelli had spent the night before in his own bed, a pleasant upgrade from the plastic chair in the waiting room at General Hospital the night before, and he was ready to move on to his next task: assisting his guru in locating the dastardly villain who had ruined everything, sending Kate Howard to the operating room, the Original Blonde One to California — and possibly responsible for the Fair Elizabeth’s car accident.

It was that crime he was investigating now, having finally laid his hands on the traffic lights at the intersection in question, and he was absorbed in watching them when he heard a key in the lock.

Spinelli leapt to his feet, a bit confused but delighted when Jason came in, his hair disheveled and his face worn. “Stone Cold! You’re home! And just in time—”

Jason closed the door, dropped his keys on the desk. “Yeah. I’ve got some things to take care of.” He furrowed his brow. “Did Cody come by?”

“All systems are a go, and I followed your directive to prepare one of the rooms for the Littlest of Dudes and Stone Cold the Sequel.” Spinelli beamed. “The Jackal is delighted that the little tykes will be joining us—”

“I don’t know—” Jason paused, shook his head slightly. “I don’t know yet if they will. But I wanted to be ready.” He paused at the knock on the door. “Were you expecting anyone?”

“No.” Mystified, Spinelli closed his computer. “And there was no call from the front desk—” That meant it was someone on the allowed list. Not so many people left there, Spinelli reflected.

Jason pulled open the door, his eyes widening when he saw Carly—and in her arms, Jake. He hadn’t seen his son since before it had all gone horribly wrong—since before the church, the accident— He itched to take him in his arms. “What—”

“I dropped Morgan and Cam off at preschool, and I knew you wouldn’t close the door in my face if I had this adorable boy with me.” Carly grinned at Jake, and the little boy grinned back at her. “He’s just the sweetest, Jase. Most people don’t like me right off, but Jake and I are the best of friends already.” She looked back at him. “Um, you know—I mean, do you—”

“Yeah, Jake and I know each other, don’t we?” Jason asked, holding out his arms, and Jake immediately lifted his. Carly completed the transfer, and Jason stroked Jake’s back, touched his hair. “How were the boys last night?”

“Good as gold. And just what Morgan needed. All three of them fell asleep in Morgan’s bed—don’t worry, I put Jake in the portable crib, but I left him in the room with his brother. I know I say a lot about their mother, but she’s got some great kids.”

“Mommy?” Jake looked back at Carly, then at Jason. “Where Mommy? Miss Mommy.”

“Gram told you that she was sick, didn’t she?” Jason asked, walking over to the sofa. He looked at Spinelli. “Can you go—”

“I will locate something for the, uh, sequel to play with,” Spinelli said, saluting Jason with two fingers. Then he bounded up the stairs.

“Mommy’s sick but Gram’s taking care of her, and tomorrow or maybe the day after, we’ll go see her, okay?”

“K. Snelli!” Jake said, raising both arms when Spinelli returned with a few choices. Jason sat Jake down, and Spinelli got him settled.

He focused back on Carly. “Not that I’m not happy to see him, but—”

“Less happy to see me, I know. And I know helping out for one night or even a few isn’t going to fix what I did wrong.” She folded her arms, looked to Spinelli who stood up, returned to his laptop. “Hey. How’s Maxie?”

“Bearing up bravely. Should the Jackal leave Stone Cold alone with the Valkyrie—”

“No—did you ever get your hands on those videos we talked about? And no offense, Carly—” he looked at her. “You can wait.”

“What videos?” Carly asked.

“Traffic.” Spinelli fetched his laptop, placed it on the desk, and flipped it open, making sure to angle it so that Jake couldn’t see even a little sliver of the screen. “The Jackal was investigating when you arrived. The PCPD has the driver in custody according to their reports—”

He pressed play, and the trio watched as Elizabeth’s car approached an intersection with a red light. It switched to green, and her car began to travel across. When she was midway, a car blew the red light at the cross street. Not just a car, Spinelli thought, but an SUV which explained why Elizabeth’s smaller car hadn’t just been hit—the hood had been demolished, and the speed of the crash had sent her car careening into oncoming traffic where it was hit by another SUV moving at full speed.

Carly pressed her hands to her face watching wordlessly as the smaller car flipped over once, twice, then a third time before coming to a rest mercifully right side up which had made the rescue much easier.

“The Fair Elizabeth was wearing her seatbelt,” Spinelli said, drawing Jason’s attention. “And the other vehicle hit the hood of her car. Small mercies. That’s what the preliminary crash investigation states.”

Carly exhaled slowly. “She’s lucky to be alive,” she murmured. She touched Jason’s arm. “You okay?”

Jason cleared his throat, then nodded. “Yeah. Yeah. Uh—you said the driver was in custody—” he looked to Spinelli.

“The Jackal is waiting for full reports — a background check, financials — but right now, there doesn’t seem to be a link to anyone suspicious. Just a guy who wasn’t paying attention and didn’t see the oncoming car. So he says,” Spinelli added. “Right now, Stone Cold, the Jackal doesn’t see any connection with what happened at the church.”

“You thought they were—” Carly closed her mouth. “Of course you did.”

“Thanks, Spinelli. Let me know if you find anything else. Or if the PCPD gets any leads on Kate’s shooting.”

“The Jackal is eager to serve.” He scooped up the laptop, then headed over to keep Jake occupied, leaving Jason with Carly.

“Are you all right?” Carly asked softly, and Jason looked at her. “I didn’t know how bad the—I mean, I knew it wasn’t a fender bender,” she added. “But—” She wrinkled her nose. “If that SUV had hit her head on instead of just the hood of the car—”

“Did you want something, Carly?” Jason interrupted, not needing the reminder that it had been a matter of inches that had kept Elizabeth in his life. “Do the boys need anything? I have to get back to the hospital—”

“I wanted to apologize. To really apologize. Um, I think sometimes I’m a little irrational when it comes to Elizabeth—okay, more than a little,” Carly admitted when he just lifted a brow. She folded her arms. “I’ll work on that part. I really am sorry that she was hurt or that I added to it. I know that helping like this—that’s a drop in the bucket in making it up to you—”

“Carly—” He rubbed his face, exhausted already. “I know you’re sorry. I know you regret it. But it’s not the point, okay?”

“No, I know that, too, right? Because I always do this. I do the terrible thing, and then I regret it. And I apologize. This is our cycle, and you’ve been annoyed at it forever. I need to stop doing the terrible thing. I wish I could promise that’s going to happen. I will say I’m going to make a better effort. For a selfish reason. Morgan—oh, he had such a good time yesterday. He had someone to play with, someone to chase, and I just—I feel like Elizabeth did me the favor, you know? So I want to protect that friendship. I want to do right by Morgan when we both know that I did so much to screw up Michael.”

Jason exhaled, looked over at Spinelli and Jake, listening to the sound of his son giggling. “This is my family, Carly.”

“I know. And I should have listened when you told me that it was all you wanted. Last year, when you screamed it at me,” she added, when he just looked at her. “I was angry at you when you said it, but I should have listened. I can’t fix that. I can just promise to do better, then actually do it this time. I promise. I’m going to try.”

“Okay. Thank you for looking after them. Audrey’s amazing, but I know Elizabeth is happier with her there more.”

“You’ll see, Jason. I can help and not make things worse, I promise.”

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

Nadine exited the elevator, frowning when she spied Nikolas at the nurse’s station. “I thought Lulu had already been transferred,” she said, stepping up behind the counter. “I saw her name on the discharge papers this morning.”

Nikolas lifted the papers on the counter. “Paperwork,” he said. “It never seems to end.”

“No kidding.” Nadine tapped a few keys, then glanced over at him. “Is there anything you need? Anything I can do for Lulu before you guys go?”

“No. No. Thank you.” His eyes found hers. “For everything. I didn’t—I wish I’d handled things better.”

“There’s no handbook for any of this, Nikolas. You’re putting your family first. Before Saturday, when Lulu was still…” Nadine chewed on her bottom lip. “I might have had a problem with what you’re doing but seeing her that way — I want you to do whatever you can to bring her back.”

“Thank you.” Nikolas tipped his head. “But I know that look, and you’re not done, are you?”

She made a face. “It’s just — you said you guys put your mom in a hospital in London not long after this happened to her. And she’s only come back with medication. Maybe doing the same thing to Lulu isn’t the best idea.”

“I’ve—I’ve wrestled with that,” Nikolas admitted. He slid the paperwork across the counter. “But this facility has researchers looking at this specific condition. If there’s a chance it’s genetic, we need to know. And we need to be right there. I hate that it’s right now. With everything going on with Elizabeth—will you keep me in the loop?” he asked her. “How she’s doing?”

“I mean, I can tell you what we know publicly, but why can’t Lucky just—” Nadine closed her mouth. “He’s still going with you?”

“He went ahead of me yesterday to arrange for temporary housing. To talk to the facility and make sure everything is ready. I, uh, don’t expect Elizabeth to be all that happy with him when she gets a chance to talk to him.”

Nadine pressed her lips together, looked at her computer screen. She didn’t know what to say to any of that. “Yeah, I’ll pass your message to Elizabeth. If she wants you informed, I’ll take care of it.”

“Nadine—”

“I know you think you’re doing the best thing for your sister, but I just can’t shake the feeling that you and your brother are creating more problems than you’re fixing. He just walks out on his kids and their mother while she’s still recovering in the ICU, you’re ripping Lulu away from everything familiar in her life, and she can’t even fight back about it. She won’t even know it’s happening. There’s something so sad about all of it.”

Nikolas sighed, slowly twisting the cap back on the pen, setting it on top of the forms. “This is what’s right for my family—”

“Are you going to let Johnny have a chance to say goodbye? You let Maxie and Spinelli in to visit Lu, but I can’t help but notice his name was never on the list.” Nadine lifted her brows. “You were so kind to him the other night, I thought you knew this wasn’t his fault—”

“Is he your next project?” Nikolas wanted to know.

“That’s an awful thing to say. He’s a friend—”

“Since when?” Nikolas challenged. “You got tossed into jail over him, and now you’re angry at me on his behalf—”

“On your sister’s,” Nadine snapped back. “Because you know this isn’t what she would have wanted. I don’t understand how the right thing to do is to leave people behind. One day your sister is going to wake up—she is—and she is going to be so angry at what you and Lucky have done. The people you’ve hurt and abandoned in the name of saving her. I hope she kicks your asses.”

“The people I’ve abandoned? What, Elizabeth? Or are you talking about yourself?” Nikolas wanted to know. “Because if that’s what this tantrum is about—”

Nadine closed her mouth, looked down, tears stinging her eyes. She took a deep breath, then lifted her gaze to his, not even bothering to blink them back. “You don’t think very much of me, do you? I like Lulu, Nikolas, and I know how she feels about her brothers. I also know how much she loves her nephews. What is she going to think when she wakes up and Lucky’s abandoned them? Walked out while Elizabeth is recovering from major surgery? What is she going to think when she finds out you won’t even tell Johnny where you’re taking her?”

“I don’t have the luxury of worrying about a day that may never come. What part of that is so difficult for you to understand? If my sister wakes up and is furious with me over how I chose to save her life, if she never talks to me again, it will be worth any price I had to pay to see it done. And if you have such an issue with my brother’s decision, take it up with him—” Nikolas shook his head. “I don’t understand why you’re so damn angry with me! I thought you understood! That I have to do whatever I can to bring Lulu back!”

Nadine inhaled a shaky breath, returned her gaze to the computer screen, the words blurry. “You’re right. You’re right. None of this is any of my business. You’ve made it very clear that I don’t have a say in what happens to you. That I don’t matter.”

“That’s not—” Nikolas stopped. He rubbed his forehead. “It’s not that I didn’t think about you, it’s just that—”

“I wasn’t important enough to factor into the decision. I shouldn’t be. I know that much. I’m being stupid. We’ve barely even started to—” She cleared her throat. “You have to do what’s right for your family. I understand that. I hope this works. I really do.”

She snatched charts from the counter and hurried away from the nurse’s station. And he didn’t try to stop her.

General Hospital: Elizabeth’s ICU Room

“What happened to going home and getting some real sleep?” Elizabeth asked when Jason came in. She smiled, though, resting her cheek against the pillow. “I finally got Gram to go home—”

“I know, I talked to her this morning. To give her an update on the boys.” Jason set a brown bag on the tray that hung over the bed. “But if you want to me to go, and take the food I brought with you—”

“Well, that depends on what you brought me.”

“Ruby’s chili. You’re not allowed to have more than a few bites because it’s spicy,” Jason warned, removing the container from the bag. “I cleared it with Patrick first to make sure, but I thought you’d be tired of hospital food.”

“I eat it for a living, so I am beyond tired.” Jason helped her raise the bed, and she winced only slightly when she reached for the small takeout container he handed her. “I feel like I slept most of yesterday.”

“It…was a long day. You needed the rest.”

“It all seems surreal, you know? I got in my car at the airport, and my life was one way, and then I woke up, and it was like the world changed while I was in surgery.” She swirled the spoon in the chili. “You’re communicating with my grandmother, bringing me food, the boys spent the night with Carly—” She bit her lip, looked at him. “I like that part of the change, by the way. Well, jury’s out on Carly, but the rest of it—it’s good.”

“I—I like it, too,” he confessed, then made a face. “Not where I’m visiting you in the ICU, but—yeah.” He paused. “There’s…there’s something I have to tell you.”

Elizabeth paused, the spoon halfway to her mouth. “What’s wrong?”

“I told you that I’d—that I talked to Lucky on Saturday. After you were brought in. Do you remember that?”

“Yeah, a little bit. It’s a little hazy. So much happened yesterday,” she admitted. “Waking up to all of that, Lucky, talking to my grandmother—did Lucky say something about California?”

“Not—not that. No. He—” Jason grimaced, rubbed the side of his face. “When I told him about the accident, he was irritated. And he started to call Sam.”

Elizabeth dropped the spoon back into the chili, her appetite drained. “Sam. Why?”

“To pick the boys up from Audrey’s.” Jason met her eyes. “I took the phone from him, hung up, and told him he couldn’t play games like that with you in surgery. He—” He paused. “He didn’t take me seriously. He was going to do it anyway, even though I know you’d made it clear she couldn’t be near them.  So I told him if Sam went near the boys, I’d have Diane file an injunction to stop him. And that Amelia would be part of it.” He waited for a beat. “And that I’d file paternity papers today if that’s what it took.”

“You—” She opened her mouth, then closed it, processing that information. “You told him—”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that without talking to you, I just—I knew what you wanted, and maybe I should have waited—”

“I need a minute. I need—” She set the container on the tray. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting any of that.”

“I know. I’m sorry—”

“No, don’t—that’s not what I meant. I’m just—my head is swirling a little, and that’s—that’s a lot to take in. This happened Saturday?” she asked.

“Yeah. Uh, right after they took you up to surgery. I’m sorry—”

She laid her head back against the pillow. “Don’t ever apologize to me for protecting the boys. For protecting your son. You’re right. I didn’t—and still don’t—want that woman anywhere near my son. Our son. And after the stunt she pulled in the park—” Her lips thinned as she pressed them together. “I told him if he did that, I’d have him in court, too, so you didn’t do anything I wouldn’t have.”

“Oh.” Jason furrowed his brow. “I don’t think you—I told him in the middle of the emergency room. I didn’t—I didn’t think about everyone who might listen—”

“I don’t care about any of that. I’m sorry.” She closed her eyes, tears stinging the lids. “I’m sorry I put you in that position.”

“Hey, don’t—you didn’t do anything—”

“You’ve always wanted Jake,” Elizabeth managed, the tears spilling down her cheeks. She looked at him. “From the moment I told you in the elevator. I know it’s been me—”

“It’s been me, too.” He reached for her hand, kissed the inside of her palm. “We’ve both made this decision.”

“But I started it—”

“I’m the idiot who listened to Carly and told you it was for the best,” Jason interrupted, and she laughed, swiping at her tears with her free hand.

“Okay, well, we can sit here taking the blame for a terrible decision no matter who made it,” she said, “or we can just…be so glad we’re ending it. That we’re telling the people who matter. My grandmother. You should tell Monica.”

Jason looked down at the bed, at the hand he still held. “Yeah. Yeah, I will. I just—I’m sorry.”

“Jason—”

He lifted his gaze to hers, and she was caught by the intensity.. “I keep thinking—if I hadn’t been in the Emergency Room when they brought you in, would I know? Would anyone have told me? Waiting until it’s the middle of the night to visit you in the hospital, until no one can see—I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want it for either of us. You—you and the boys. You’re everything.”

Her throat tightened, and the tears started again. “Okay. Okay. I’m just—God—it’s stupid to cry when it’s exactly what I want to hear, and you have to know it’s the same for me. I hope you know that. Please—”

“I do know that—” He leaned forward, cradled her face with his other hand. “I do.”

“B-Because I made so many stupid mistakes, you know? And I was scared, and I thought you wouldn’t love me the way I loved you, so I hurt you and I stayed with Lucky and I just—God. I hate it. I’m so mad at myself, and I don’t know why—”

“Don’t—don’t. Hey.” His voice faltered, and he took a breath, steadied himself. “If you get too upset, those monitors are going to start beeping, and then you can’t have your chili.”

She laughed, the sound slightly choked, then winced when the movement put pressure on her stitches. “Okay. You’re right. You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Don’t take away the chili, okay? You have no idea how terrible this food is.” She paused. “Well, actually, you do.”

“Yeah, I’ve spent more than enough time here.” He handed her back the chili. “You can finish this, but only if you promise not to cry again.”

“I’ll do what I can.”

“You said you knew about California. When did he tell you?”

She waited to finish the last bite of chili, then put it aside. “Can you—” She gestured at the water cup, and he handed it to her. “Thanks,” she said, after washing away the spicy aftertaste. “I was going to talk to you, actually. Once we got to Italy. Lucky sprang the whole idea on me when he picked the boys up. He was planning to go out there—with Sam—and he didn’t plan on coming back until Lulu recovered. He thought I’d put the boys on a plane to him at Christmas, summers. Vacations. So they could fly out there and spend time with him and Sam. I told him no.”

“Because of Sam?”

“As a starting point, yeah. But I just—I knew what would happen next. The same thing he’s done for the last year. How long before he’d make the first excuse, cancel the first visit? If I thought there was a chance he’d still be in Cameron’s life in any way that mattered, that’d be different. He’s always been Cameron’s father. The only one my baby has ever known. But my sweet boy wasn’t enough for him. Never enough. Not enough to stay clean for, not enough to keep his vows—he loves Cameron, but not the way Cam deserves to be loved, you know?”

She cleared her throat, took a deep breath, focused her gaze on him. “Jake is yours, and I never had a right to take him away. To ask you to give him up, to pretend that you aren’t the best choice, the only choice. So if you hadn’t done it on Saturday, I was already going to ask.”

Jason nodded. “Okay. That’s settled. What—what about Cameron?”

“I—I know what you’re going to say. It’s just—I don’t know how to handle that. I know that Lucky’s type of love isn’t what he needs or deserves. But he’s four. He knows who his father is supposed to be, you know? I don’t want to do anything that hurts him.”

“Neither do I. I just—I can be in his life however you want. I love him, you know that. I always have.” He took her hand, brushed his thumb over her knuckles. “We don’t need to formalize it with titles or labels. I’ll treat him exactly the way I treat Jake, and we’ll just see where it goes.”

“I really love you,” she murmured. “You always know exactly what to say—”

“I wish that were true, but we both know it’s not.” He waited for a beat. “When you get released, you’re going to need someone around. You know that. The concussion, the stitches—but—”

“But my house isn’t secure the way it would need to be secure if you were also there,” she added. He grimaced, then nodded. “Well, we can talk about that, but—I don’t want you to worry about that right now. We haven’t even talked about what’s happened with poor Kate. And Sonny—I can’t imagine how he’s struggling—”

“It’s—not great. Kate’s been in and out of consciousness since it happened. And Sonny’s been barred from the room. Which he isn’t handling well.” Jason grimaced, stared down at her fingers. “He was arrested twice that night, and I left him in jail so I could focus on you.”

“Oh, Jason.”

“He calmed down a little, I guess. But the investigation is stalled, and I haven’t really gotten into it. I’ve been a little preoccupied.” He paused again. “And that brings me back to where I started. I want the boys to stay with me at the penthouse. I want you to come there when they release you.”

Elizabeth opened her mouth to reply, but Jason continued. “I understand if it’s too soon or if you’re not ready for it, but you need to know it’s what I want, what I’ve always wanted. We—I can find someone to help out while you’re getting better, but I want to be there. I want to be with you and the boys. And—”

“Jason—” She squeezed his hand, and he closed his mouth abruptly. “You don’t have to sell me on this. I don’t want you to miss one second more of Jake’s life. And it means so much that you’d bring it up. I want the boys with you. At the penthouse, where I know there are layers of security, and no one can get to them. My grandmother’s house—there’s only so much you can do.”

She smiled. “And I actually have a great idea to go with yours. Instead of hiring some stranger the boys don’t know, let me ask my grandmother to come stay with us or come over during the day when you can’t be there. I want her to know you.”

Jason opened his mouth, then closed it. “What are the chances she’d actually go for that?”

General Hospital: Lulu’s Room

Maxie finished the topcoat on Lulu’s last finger, then gently laid the hand back against the bed. She capped the bottle and returned it to her kit. “There,” she told Lulu. “I can’t send you off to California with chipped polish. What will those doctors and nurses think? We have standards, you know.”

She waited a beat, watching Lulu’s face, the eyes that seemed to do nothing but stare straight ahead, like those of dolls Maxie had once played with. Maxie fiddled with the edges of the blanket.

“I talked to Sam before she left, and she promised to make sure that someone was looking after you. I mean, I know medically, you’re all solid. But your hair and your skin—we’re only young once, and we have to take care of ourselves.”

She heard footsteps behind her and forced a smile on her face. “And look, here’s Spinelli. He probably thinks this is all foolish because boys don’t know how much work any of this is.”

Spinelli stepped up behind her, rubbed Maxie’s shoulder. “The Jackal thinks the Blonde One and his Maximista are perfect just the way they are, but he also knows when to shut up.”

“I’ve never seen any evidence of that,” Maxie said. “And I know Lulu would agree with me.” She looked back at Lulu, half-hoping that somehow, somehow, the blonde would wake up and begin to argue with her.

But Lulu remained quiet. Empty.

“Well, you’re all set for your trip. Just as long as no one messes with your hands for at least thirty minutes.” Maxie got to her feet. “I hope—I hope we see you soon. Even though this is my chance to show Kate once and for all I could have done this all by myself—” Her voice faltered. “Except I can’t. Okay? I need you to push me. Because I could never have been as good as I am without you telling me I couldn’t do it. What’s the point of being the best if you’re not going to be there so I can rub your face in it?”

The taunts didn’t work anymore than the friendly chatter. Nothing worked. Lulu was locked inside of herself, and they couldn’t dig her out.

“Maximista—” Spinelli began, but she shook her head.

“No, it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s your turn to do this part, okay? You can have some time to v-visit and I’m going to go check on Kate. She had to go in for more surgery a-and well, someone has to keep the Bensonhurst Mussolini in line.”

Maxie looked back at Lulu, her vision blurred. “I really hated you for so long, everything you did to hurt my sister. I never could understand how or why Georgie could forgive you. She was a better person than both of us, you know. And it’s not fair that of the three of us, I’m the one that’s left. You need—you need to come back, Lulu. You just—you just need to come back.”

Jacks House: Living Room

Carly darted ahead, catching Jake just as he toddled towards the steps. She picked him up and planted him in the opposite direction. He offered a sunny smile then wandered towards his brother and Morgan —

She folded her arms, smiling as she watched the two older boys playing with Morgan’s Lego set. She should have done this a long time ago, she thought. After all, her mother had spent time with Cameron. Bobbie had always considered the little boy part of her family because Lucky had been raising him.

But Lucky was gone now. Carly’s smile slipped, and she winced at the memory of how she’d handled that conversation. Probably should have let someone else be the one to tell Elizabeth her ex-husband had taken off without even bothering to wait for her to wake up from surgery.

She heard footsteps behind her, but didn’t have to look to see who it was. Morgan told her everything she needed. His face lit up, and he got to his feet. “Daddy!”

He hurled himself across the room, and now Carly turned as Sonny scooped Morgan up. “Hey, buddy. How are you?”

“I’m good. I’m playing with my cousins. Did you know I had cousins?” Morgan asked.

“Uh—” Sonny lifted his brows to look at Carly. “Can’t say I did.” He set Morgan down and the younger boy ran back to play with Cameron and Jake. “Those are Elizabeth’s kids.”

“I have Jake during the day, and I picked the boys up from preschool while Audrey is at the hospital with Elizabeth.” Carly went closer to Sonny so that the kids didn’t hear. “And I don’t know if you know this, but we’re going to be seeing a lot more of the Webbers around Jason.”

“Yeah, I got that feeling when I couldn’t peel Jason from her side even when they knew she’d be okay.” Sonny exhaled slowly, rubbed his cheek. “Sorry I didn’t, uh, return any calls.”

“Yeah. Well, you’ve been busy.” Carly glanced back at him. “Have you been able to see Kate yet?”

His expression darkened. “No. Her cousin still refuses to let me in, and when I tried to get more information from Maxie, your husband cut it off.”

She winced. “He’s—he’s just being protective, Sonny. He loved Michael—”

“Michael was my son—”

“Is.” When he just looked at her, Carly clenched her jaw. “He is your son. He’s not dead, damn it. And the doctors said there’s little hope that he’ll wake up. Not zero. And until that day comes, no one is going to treat my son like he’s already dead and buried, including you! What are you even doing here? Looking for sympathy? Do you really think you’re going to find it here?”

Sonny scowled. “You know, Kate and I were getting married—”

“And when she wakes up, maybe you still will. She’s not dead, Sonny. You just have to be patient. That’s it. You wait a few days, Kate wakes up, lets you in, and bam! You’re right back on track! That doesn’t get to happen for everyone!”

“Mommy. Are you and Daddy fighting?”

Carly looked over to see that Morgan had stopped playing, but Cameron had his head down, continued playing with the blocks, handing them to Jake. “No, baby, you know Daddy and I are just loud, right? Grammy’s always saying that. I’m sorry.” She looked to Sonny. “I’m sorry this happened, okay? I really am. But this can’t be my problem. I have enough on my plate—”

“Taking care of Elizabeth’s kids,” Sonny said. “Yeah, I can see how actually caring for more than one kid would be tough on you since you’ve never parented on your own in your life—”

“No, I was married last year when our children’s nanny was murdered,” Carly cut in sharply, pitching her voice at a low hiss, and Sonny winced. “And don’t start walking around acting like father of the year. Because we had two children until you took one of them into a warehouse and got him shot in the head—”

“You know what, I’m not doing this with you. I don’t know why I even bothered to come here. You’re watching the kids, good. That means Audrey’s at the hospital, so Jason won’t have to be.” He scowled. “He can focus on what the hell is going on.”

“Or he’ll keep delegating it just the way you would have. The way you always did. You sent Jason out to do the job while you concentrated on your family.” Carly’s stomach tightened. “And you’re expecting him to do the same thing now. Aren’t you? To focus on your family. On Kate. Just like you did that day. ”

“That’s not fair—”

“You left Jason in charge, so now he’s at the top. He’s sending his guy out to deal with the dirty jobs so he can focus on his family.” She pressed her lips together. “Maybe Elizabeth isn’t who I would have picked for Jason, but that’s what we’ve got. And she’s in the hospital. I saw the car accident on the little traffic camera. Did you?”

“No—”

“It was awful. I could see him running it through his head over and over again. She almost died. And that didn’t have to happen. So Jason is focusing. Stop being angry because he just isn’t doing it the way you want.”

A world that sends you reelin’
From decimated dreams
Your misery and hate will kill us all
So paint it black and take it back
Let’s shout it loud and clear
Defiant to the end, we hear the call
– Welcome to the Black Parade, My Chemical Romance

---

Monday, September 29, 2008

General Hospital: ICU

Jason stepped off the elevators, hesitating when he saw Audrey Hardy at the nurse’s station. “Mrs. Hardy. How are you?”

“I’m well, thank you. I was hoping you might have a few minutes to speak with me. Perhaps we might get a cup of coffee? I think we ought to have some time to get to know one another. Particularly since we may be sharing a residence for the foreseeable future.”

“Ah. Yeah. Okay.” Jason stepped back, indicated she should precede him to the elevator. He pressed the button. He didn’t know what to say, how to convince Elizabeth’s grandmother to throw away more than a decade of mistrust and suspicions to move into his home, to entrust him with her great-grandchildren. But whatever he came up with, he hoped it would be enough.

He asked her to wait at a table in the hospital cafeteria, to get the coffee himself, buying more time. And yet, even after he’d placed the drink in front of Audrey, Jason still had nothing.

“This is terribly awkward,” Audrey admitted, and she took a deep breath—and Jason realized she was just as nervous as he was, which was oddly comforting. “I spent the last thirty minutes planning what I wanted to say to you, from the moment Elizabeth suggested all of this to me, and yet, I find myself at a loss where to begin.”

“I understand that. I think—” Jason waited for a beat. “I know it might be hard to believe, but Elizabeth, Cameron, and Jake are the most important people in my life. I love them and having them in my life is the only thing I want.”

“I do believe that. I might not have prior to this weekend,” Audrey admitted, “but I think we can both agree that our worldviews have been shaken. I had thought Lucky to be a decent father, though a terrible husband. I thought you were a mistake in Elizabeth’s past that she regretted and from which she had moved on.” She wrapped both hands around the blue and white disposable cup. “It is humbling to realize how much of my granddaughter’s life that she felt she had to hide from me.”

“Some of that—”

“If you are about to take the blame for that, Mr. Morgan, then I think you do yourself an injustice.”

Jason closed his mouth, then frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“Elizabeth decided a very long time ago that I was not to know the deepest parts of her. That I could not have access to her true feelings. I was cut out of the most important aspects of her life. She thought she could not trust me to listen to her, to support her, to respect her choices.” Audrey smiled faintly. “She would have been correct, of course. At every turn, I have disappointed her. It will be the greatest regret of my life to know that the girl I was given the blessing to raise, to guide into adulthood, that I failed so terribly.”

“Elizabeth loves you—”

“She does, and it’s to her credit that I have this chance to correct my course before it’s too late. Even if I had not begun to revise my opinion of you, I would agree to her request to stay with you temporarily. Because I never want to be in the position that I was in on Sunday. To feel so ignorant of what Elizabeth was facing—” Audrey paused, collected herself. “You took the time to communicate with me. To include me. And I don’t know if you sent Carly and Bobbie to me with the offer for the boys to stay with Carly—”

“I didn’t. That came from Carly.”

“Ah, well, likely Carly reached out because of her connection to you. In any case—I did not hear about the accident from a member of the police department. I did not hear from Lucky. Instead, he came to my doorstep with suitcases that I know he had never unpacked, bags Elizabeth had given him for their children, and he dropped them in front of me like garbage.”

Jason clenched his jaw, looked away. He’d known the bare facts, but he hadn’t thought about what Audrey had gone through. Her perspective. “I’m sorry.”

“So am I. Lucky left those children without a second thought. He did not wait for them to wake up, to talk to them, to say goodbye. He simply left. And I just—” She made a fist, took a deep breath. “Oh, it broke my heart. I wondered if this was the man Elizabeth had seen, if this was the Lucky she’d been dealing with, and I wondered if maybe I had simply ignored it. If I had looked past it.” Audrey cleared her throat. “And once I realized that everything I had believed about Lucky was false, I knew that I had to see you with new eyes. To look past what I’d heard or believed, and really give you a chance. To find what Elizabeth clearly has known from the beginning.”

“I—” Jason leaned back. He hadn’t expected any of that. “I’m sorry. I’m just—I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s perfectly fair. My judgment is still forming, and I’m looking forward to getting to know you better. I welcome the opportunity to look after Elizabeth, Jake, and Cameron while she recuperates, and I can understand why that would be better at your residence, though I imagine we won’t speak of why that is.” Audrey tipped her head. “Because, Mr. Morgan—Jason, if I may—Elizabeth, Jake, and Cameron are the most important people in my life, too, and I think as long as that’s true for both of us, we’ll do just fine.”

She cleared her throat. “I appreciate you giving me this opportunity to clear the air, to set the tone, so to speak. And in that regard, there’s another matter—something I haven’t spoken with Elizabeth about yet, and I don’t know if I should. I’d like your opinion as to whether or not I should.”

“Sure. Sure. Anything.”

“It’s about Cameron.”

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

Johnny was relieved when Nadine was the first face he saw after stepping off the elevator. He headed over to the counter, but she came out and met him halfway. “Hey. Listen. I got your text. You said they’re moving her today?”

“Yeah, but wait—” Nadine reached out, took him by the elbow. “But listen, I sort of pissed Nikolas off a little bit, so maybe you don’t mention I tipped you off, okay?”

Johnny hesitated, then frowned at her. “What happened?” Then he remembered and winced. “Oh, damn—I didn’t even think about it. You and Nikolas, you were dating, weren’t you? That’s why he told you he was going to California.”

“I mean, dating is apparently a strong word for what we were,” Nadine muttered. “I certainly thought we were dating, but I guess I was just a convenient bed buddy—” Her cheeks flushed, and she shook her head. “That’s not important, okay? I just—he’s not exactly happy with me, so any chance you have at seeing Lu before—”

“I don’t care about that—well, no, I do. But he’s an asshole if that’s how he broke up with you, and if he wants to be pissed you’re keeping me in the loop about my girlfriend who would want me here if she—” He closed his mouth, just shook his head. “She’d want me here,” he said grimly. “And she’d be angry about what Nikolas is doing. And how he’s treating you. She likes you—”

“I like her, too. And I hate how all of this is happening. I hate what’s happened to Lulu so much, Johnny. All of this is so unfair, and—” Nadine stopped, making a face. “Damn it. Damn it. I meant to be gone—”

“I don’t know what you’re doing here,” Nikolas said coolly, and Johnny turned to find the Cassadine prince at the desk. “But Nadine wasted her time in calling you.”

“On Saturday, you seemed like a decent human being,” Johnny retorted. “You said you’d call for me if she asked for me. You said you didn’t blame me—why the hell can’t I just say goodbye—”

“I told you not to waste your time waiting for her,” Nikolas finished. “And that’s exactly what this is. She doesn’t know you’re here, Johnny. She doesn’t know any of this is happening—” He looked at Nadine for a long moment, then back at Johnny. “But even if all that weren’t true, it doesn’t matter. She’s already gone.”

“What—” Johnny took a step towards Nikolas. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I just watched her being loaded onto the patient elevator.” Nikolas waited for a beat. “I intend to keep my promise. If my sister recovers—”

“When she recovers,” Johnny cut in.

Nikolas looked away, and some of the arrogance melted away and he suddenly looked tired, beaten down. “I pray to God that’s true. But my mother—she slipped away just this quickly. We could get her to come back, but she’d just keep drifting until one day, one last trigger—and she went inside herself. She’s never come back. Six years,” he murmured. He rubbed his cheek. “I don’t know. I wish I’d acted more quickly. Done more. And maybe, for that, I do blame you.” He looked at Johnny. “Just like Luke. You kept Lulu away to save yourself, even when she was struggling. He kept my mother away at a crucial moment when she might have been saved. Just two selfish men trying to play hero to a woman they sacrificed for their own ego. I couldn’t save my mother from Luke Spencer, and now I’ve lost my sister because of you.”

“That’s not fair, Nikolas—” Nadine protested.

Johnny swallowed hard. There was nothing he could say to that. It was true, wasn’t it? He’d taken Lulu on the run, so sure that he was doing the right thing. But it had been the worst thing. Could coming clean earlier have saved her?

“At any rate, it doesn’t matter. If she recovers, if she wakes up, and she asks for you, I promise you I will be so relieved that I’ll give her whatever she asks. For all our sakes, I hope that day comes. But until it does, I don’t recommend waiting around. It’s not—” Nikolas grimaced. “It’s not what Lu would have wanted for you. For any of us.”

Nikolas strode to the elevator, pressed the button, looked once more at the pair. “She’d hate what we’re doing,” he said to Nadine, and Johnny looked at the blonde, her eyes shimmering. “You’ve got it right on that. I hope she kicks my ass for doing this. But by God, if this works, then it’ll be worth it.”

He stepped on the elevator, turned around to face them, and then the doors closed.

Johnny sighed, looked to Nadine—then blinked. She was gone—he caught her dashing away towards the service stairs. After a moment, he followed.

General Hospital: Cafeteria

The conversation had gone better than Audrey had hoped for, and she thought she might understand what Elizabeth had meant all those years ago when she’d talked about the way Jason had listened to her, and how that had helped.

“I understood from my conversation with Elizabeth that she is very disappointed in how Lucky handled all of this. Until then, she hadn’t told me that Lucky had initially refused to even take the boys for this week.” Audrey finally sipped the coffee, took the moment. “It’s baffling to me that he never asked for more time. That he seemed content with haphazard weekends and the occasional overnight. But he told me he had to go, had to look after his family.” She looked up, found Jason’s eyes on hers. “His family, he told me, as if his sons weren’t asleep upstairs. I understand what’s going on with his sister but, my God, it just—” She stopped.

Her throat was tight, and she had to force the words out. “He doesn’t consider those precious angels part of his family. And I wish that was the worst thing that happened that day. But, oh, Jason—” She leaned forward. “Cameron was on the stairs. I never saw him until Lucky was gone. But he was there. And he looked so devastated. And asked me if his daddy was going away.”

“Cameron—” Jason rubbed his mouth, looking away for a long moment. “Cameron heard this?”

“I don’t know how long, but he certainly knew enough that his father was leaving him. That he was going away. I know he’s not quite five—”

“But he knows something isn’t right,” Jason said, and Audrey nodded. “Kids always know. They might not understand the details, but they can feel the tension in the room. The anger.”

“Oh. Oh, yes, you’ve hit it exactly.” And her estimation of Jason went up another notch. “I wasn’t entirely sure how to phrase it, but that’s precisely what I felt. Now, he’s bounced back because his brother is so happy and sweet, and he’s had Morgan. But I worry that he heard it, that he’ll realize his father left, and I just—I hesitate to tell Elizabeth because she’s already so upset over everything else, and well, I can’t imagine it would be news to her how Lucky feels about the boys.”

“No. No, it wouldn’t. I don’t—” Jason looked away again, was quiet for another moment. “It’s hard to hear that Cameron overheard any part of what I’m sure was an angry conversation. I know it would upset Elizabeth, but she has to know. Cameron’s her son. We can’t—we shouldn’t protect her from anything she might need to know to help him through this. I—you’ve talked to Elizabeth. You know that I want a life with her. And that’s always included the boys.”

“She said so yes, and she’s told me that the boys know you. They’ve spent some time with you.” Audrey tipped her head. “You’re doing an excellent job of masking just how furious you are, and that’s commendable. I’m not sure I did as well when I spoke to Cameron that day.”

“I don’t understand how Lucky could have been given that chance, the opportunity to be their father, and not want it. Not—” Jason shook his head. “Elizabeth and I—we made a decision that we wanted Jake to have a family. I wanted him to have his brother and his mother all the time. I wanted him to have normalcy. But it was a mistake. Because kids don’t care about any of that. They know when their parents love them. When the people in their lives are happy. And when they’re not. I let myself forget that. I won’t make that mistake again.” He met Audrey’s eyes. “I’m Jake’s father, and that’s what I’m going to be. I respect that Cameron sees Lucky as his father, and I’m not going to force myself into that role. But I’ve always loved him, and I promise you, I won’t waste this chance.”

“No, I don’t think you will. And you’re right, of course. I want to protect Elizabeth from one more harsh truth, but she is Cameron’s mother, and she’ll need all the information in order to guide him through this next phase. I am very glad she’ll have you by her side while she does so. That they all do.”

General Hospital: Kate’s Hospital Room

Already in a rotten mood, Maxie stopped at the threshold when she saw the look Olivia’s face, and the matching expression on Jax’s. Damn it. What did she do this time? “Is there something on my dress?” She looked around. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Did you talk to Sonny and tell him about Kate’s case? Without my permission?” Olivia demanded, getting to her feet.

Maxie shot Jax a hot look. “We had a deal!”

“Sonny and I had a deal. He broke it. Olivia caught him sneaking in earlier, so there had to be consequences.” Jax leaned back, shrugged.

“I didn’t do anything—” Maxie shot back, hot tears burning her eyes. She stomped her foot. “What is wrong with you, you psycho?” she hurled at Olivia. “Don’t you even care what I’m going through?”

“No, actually, I don’t. I care about protecting my cousin—”

“Oh, never mind. You’re basically a monster, and I’m so sick of pretending to give a damn what you think.” Maxie dismissed her, glared at Jax. “For your information, Lulu was transferred today. She’s gone. Did you even know that? She had a breakdown, okay? And when I wasn’t in here, I was sitting with her, and I’ve had, like, no time, okay? This awful for everyone, not just you! Kate is going to be devastated when she wakes up and finds out what happened to Lulu—”

“Lulu. The blonde from the wedding?” Olivia asked, looking at Jax. “What’s going on?”

Jax sighed and some of his disdain had melted. “It was…a difficult summer for Lulu. For Maxie, as well,” he admitted, and Maxie just sniffed. “Maxie was attacked in the Crimson offices. Lulu stopped it—she killed the attacker. It was self-defense, but Lulu—she struggled with it, mentally. It was her ex-boyfriend,” Jax admitted. “She had a breakdown and was recuperating. Seemed to be on the mend before the wedding. And then, well—”

“She’s gone, okay? Her mind just shut down, and we can’t get her back,” Maxie finished. “And I get to tell Kate all about it when she wakes up, but that doesn’t matter to you, does it?”

“I didn’t—” Olivia looked to Maxie, and some warmth came into her eyes. “I didn’t know.”

“You didn’t care. You don’t care about any kind of life Kate had here, just what you want for her, okay? Lulu’s messed up because she tried to help me, and I thought this wedding would be good for her. She was doing so well, and I picked out her dress, and she was happy—” Maxie looked away, her throat tight. She pressed a fist to her mouth, then looked at Olivia. “Kate liked her, too. Did everything she could to make Lulu a part of this. And just like that, Lu’s gone. Okay? Just gone. And maybe she never comes back, and now you’re threatening to take Kate away from me just because I told her fiancée she was stable. What is wrong with both of you? Do you hate Sonny so much you’re going to take it out on me?”

“All right, maybe we both should just take a step back here—” Olivia began, rubbing her forehead.

“Maybe you should take a step back all the way to Bensonhurst because I am sick of doing this. I’m done.” And with that, Maxie stormed out.

General Hospital: Roof

Nadine burst through the door, but then there was nowhere else to go — just the edge of the roof with the drop to the ground beyond it. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to lose herself in the sounds of Port Charles, the traffic below, the rush of the wind as it whipped around the hospital building.

She heard the door behind her, but Nadine didn’t look to see who it was. She didn’t care. She just wanted the world to go away, to stop thinking about all of it—

“You okay?”

Nadine jerked her eyes open to find Johnny sitting on the edge of the roof, reclining against the flat stone lip. “You should be careful where you sit,” she said dully.

Johnny raised his brows, twisted, and leaned so that he looked over the edge. Nadine hissed, yanked at his sleeve. “I know how to keep my balance. You didn’t answer my question.”

“I’m fine.” She released his sleeve, stepped back and folded her arms again. “It’s just been a tough couple of days.” Weeks. Months.

“Yeah, I hear that.”

“Do you ever feel cursed?” Nadine asked. “Like everything you touch turns to dust and dirt and nothing?”

Johnny tipped his head. “Do you not remember what my last name is?”

“That’s your family.” Nadine sat next to him, angling sideways — she wasn’t so cavalier about sitting with her back to the rest of the world. “I’m talking about you—”

“My father was jealous of how much my mother loved me,” Johnny cut in. “He wanted all her attention on him, so he decided to get rid of me. But my mother wasn’t really on board with that. She stepped in front of the bullet. I was five, by the way. So yeah, hard not to feel cursed when that’s your first memory.”

He stared straight ahead while recounting the story, his eyes locked on the metal fire escape across from them. Nadine exhaled slowly. “I don’t remember my mother. Or my father. Aunt Raylene used to say that some people weren’t meant to be parents, and somehow they were the same people who were more fertile than a rabbit.” She smiled faintly. “Her language was a little more colorful, but you get the point. Mama never married Daddy, and he stuck long enough to make me and Jolene, but I’m told he was gone before the ink dried on the birth certificate, and Mama followed him before I blew out my first birthday candles.”

“Jolene. That’s the sister who—”

“Took money to cause a little trouble here at the hospital. Mostly when doctors and nurses kill their patients, they’re pretending to be angels of mercy or just straight-out sociopaths. Not Jolene. She always liked the way cash felt in her hand—” Nadine held out her palm. “Nothing’s feels as cool and crisp as a fifty, Deene, don’t you know? I’m gonna get mine, you just wait and see.”

She blew out air. “But that’s not as bad as knowing your daddy killed your mama, so I’m sorry, Johnny. That shouldn’t be your first memory. Kids deserve better. Maybe I should go back to working in pediatrics,” she said with a sigh. “But then I’d just bring my luck with me, and those kids have enough problems.”

“Back to that curse thing?” Johnny said. He looked at her. “Because of a breakup?”

“Just add it to the list of catastrophic disasters I’ve been involved in. Got to Port Charles, and well, there was the Black and White Ball,” she said, which made him wince since she’d been attacked by Anthony who thought she was Lulu. “Then Diego tried to kill me. I thought things were a little more quiet, but well—”

“You got involved with my little problem,” Johnny said, and she wrinkled her nose. “Yeah.”

“I did the right thing. I have no regrets, even if I did get hauled off to jail for my troubles.” She shook her head. “Then there was the clinic. It burnt down with me in it, and Nikolas said it was exhausting to know me, which I know he didn’t mean the way I took it, but well, there you are. But I had my job, you know? And I was good at it. Then I got put in the ICU last week and I lost two patients. One after another. Then all of this with Lulu, which just upsets me because it’s so unfair. And, yeah, maybe because of Nikolas. I don’t think it was soulmate love, but I thought I meant something to him.”

Nadine fisted her hands in her lap. “It just feels like a dark cloud is over my head and has been ever since I got here. I don’t know why I thought I could make up for what Jolene did.” She took a deep breath. “But there’s no point in feeling sorry for myself. I have good things, you know. My job here. And well, I guess I still have Jolene, even if she’s in a coma and isn’t ever gonna wake up.” She made a face.

“You could have my sister,” Johnny quipped, and Nadine smiled again, though it was a little more genuine.

“Yeah, I think I’ll keep the comatose sister.” Nadine got to her feet. “I should get back to work. Thanks for keeping me company while I felt sorry for himself. It was awfully nice of you to come after me when I know you’re having your own problems.”

“Don’t go giving me too much credit,” Johnny said, following her to the door and holding it open for her. “I just wanted to think about someone other than myself for a little while.”

“Well, you did a good job. Thank you.” She flashed him a hesitant smile. “You should let me return the favor sometime.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well?
Yeah, how did we get here?
Well, I think I know
Do you see what we’ve done?
We’re gonna make such fools of ourselves
Do you see what we’ve done?
We’re gonna make such fools of ourselves
– Decode, Paramore

---

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

General Hospital: ICU

“You know, there’s no law that says someone has to be here every single minute,” Elizabeth said, watching curiously as Jason came in, followed by her grandmother. “And there’s no reason both of you—”

“Hush, sweetheart, and don’t argue about being the center of attention,” Audrey said. She leaned over and kissed her granddaughter’s forehead before settling into one of the chairs by the bed. Jason went towards the window to make sure the shades were drawn, and no extra light was leaking into the room. “There was a time when you would have relished all this extra attention.”

“Yeah, when I was fifteen—” Elizabeth sighed, leaning back against the pillows. “But the boys—”

“Cameron is in school, and Bobbie’s looking after Jake for a few hours. I’m going to the house to collect a few more things they’ll need or want. To pack some clothes for you.”

“Mmm, did anyone check on the luggage from the plane?” Elizabeth rubbed her temple. “They said it might be up to ten days—”

“I’ll call the airline later,” Jason promised. “We’ll—I promise, we’ll reschedule the trip.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” She closed her eyes. “You both look so serious, so I’m guessing there’s a reason you’re both here at the same time. And I’m sure it’s not to discuss packing.”

“Well, no. I spoke with Jason yesterday, and we both agreed that—” Audrey paused, and Elizabeth opened her eyes, focused on her grandmother. “We agreed that I ought to tell you a bit more about what happened when Lucky left on Sunday.”

“There’s something worse than just leaving without saying telling me?” Elizabeth asked. She fumbled for the bed controls, raised herself slightly, wincing at the pressure on her sutures. “Did he say something to the boys?”

“No. No. He never saw them. He came over a bit early, before they’d come down. He’d brought the bags you’d packed the day before—I don’t think he’d even opened them,” Audrey said, and the bitterness in her tone and the pinched expression on her face startled Elizabeth. “He simply dropped the bags on the floor and said he was leaving.”

She closed her eyes. “He told me about the whole thing the same way. Like it was already done, and there was nothing I could say. I would have warned you, Gram, but it wasn’t—it wasn’t supposed to happen. Lucky was always supposed to go weeks from now, to follow with Laura.” She rubbed her temple again.

“Are you in pain? Should I go get a doctor?”

“My head,” Elizabeth murmured. She closed her eyes, continued to talk. “Gram, I’m sorry—”

“Darling, Cameron was on the stairs when we argued. He heard some of it, and he saw Lucky leave.”

Her eyes flew open, and Elizabeth jerked up, gasping. Jason reached for the call button, and Audrey took the bed controls, lowered her back down. “What do you mean he saw Lucky?”

“He asked if his Daddy was going away,” Audrey said. “Don’t upset yourself. Oh, I shouldn’t have said anything—”

“No, no, it’s—” Elizabeth swallowed hard, took another deep breath. “It’s my fault. I didn’t mean to react that way. I just—Cameron saw him? What did Lucky say? What did he hear?”

“I don’t know how long he stood there. He can move so quietly when he wants to—but if he was there for any length of time, I’m sure he heard the yelling. I don’t know what he’d understand, but he knew enough that Lucky was leaving. That he was going away. Oh, I’m sorry—”

Patrick appeared in the doorway, breathing hard. “They paged me. What’s wrong? Did her sutures open up?”

“I don’t—I moved too fast—” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “And my head is killing me. Don’t blame them,” she added quickly when Patrick opened his mouth. “I had to—there was something I needed to know about Cameron.”

“Is he okay—” Patrick rolled up the hospital gown to take a closer look at the sutures, grimacing. “Okay, you tore some open—”

“Oh—” Audrey clasped her hands together. “I’m so sorry—”

“I’m the one who told you to tell her. We should have waited,” Jason said, “but I just—”

“No, he’s my son. I have to know—” Elizabeth looked at Patrick, scribbling at her chart. “He saw Lucky at my grandmother’s. He saw him leaving. And Gram says he overheard the argument.”

Patrick’s expression eased. “Is he okay? Cameron?”

“Yeah—”

“Fine. I’ll grant that it couldn’t have waited. But from now on, no more news until the sutures heal. I’ll go get the supplies, restitch, and do a round of pain meds to take the edge off.”

“Patrick, any intern can do this—”

“You think I’m trusting my best nurse to those hacks?” Patrick snorted, scribbling something in the chart. “I’ll take care of it. You rest. I mean it this time.” He looked at Jason and Audrey. “And you should clear out. She’ll feel obligated to be awake, to talk if she has visitors.”

Jason clenched his jaw, but Elizabeth reached out for his hand, squeezed. “Go. You probably have a thousand things that are piling up. And spend time with Jake,” she suggested. “That would make me really happy.”

“All right,” he said, though grudgingly. He leaned down, brushed his lips against her forehead. “Rest. I’ll come by with some dinner.”

“Sounds great.”

When they’d both left, Patrick went to get suture supplies. When he returned, he administered the first dose of pain medication. While she waited for it to kick in, Elizabeth opened her eyes to watch him work. “Don’t be mad at them.”

“I’m not,” Patrick muttered, squinting down at the suture site. “I’m mad at Lucky Spencer, the aggravating jackass who started all of this by abandoning his kids. And it doesn’t matter if they’re not biologically his. Especially not with Cameron.”

“All I can hope is that Cam won’t remember this,” Elizabeth murmured. “Do you remember anything from the year you were four?”

“I—” Patrick paused, considering the question. “A day at the beach. Maybe only because I have pictures of it, you know? I don’t know if I remember it or if my mother told me the story enough that I created a memory. Either way, it’s in there.”

“Is it a good one?”

“Yeah. Yeah. It’s—she’s smiling. And so is my dad. And I’m laughing.” Patrick looked at her. “But that’s it, that’s all I’ve got from year four. Cameron might have flashes, maybe he’ll remember Lucky, maybe he won’t. But you’ll spend the rest of his year four surrounding him with love, and you keep doing that, and one day isn’t going to matter in the long run.”

“You’re going to make such a great dad, you know that?” She closed her eyes, already beginning to float away. “Your baby is lucky to have you.”

“Yeah, we’ll see. Now be quiet and let me work.”

Coffee House: Office

After leaving the hospital, Jason had wanted to go directly to Carly’s where Bobbie was babysitting Jake, but he also knew he did have a few things to deal with, and wouldn’t it be better if he cleared all of that out of the way so nothing intruded on his time with Jake?

Though now that he was sitting in the office, grimacing at contracts Diane had left for him, it now seemed like a terrible idea.

“You got a minute?” Francis knocked on the open door. “Cody said you were here, and I figure I’d catch you while I could.”

Jason set the paperwork aside, gestured for him to come in. Francis closed the door behind him. “Cody said things were good—”

“Yeah, yeah, and I’m not judging you. You’ve been at the hospital, which is exactly where you should be. Can I just say on behalf of everyone else who already knew the truth, I am very grateful we’re done pretending Jake Webber isn’t your kid.”

Jason frowned, got to his feet, and approached the other man. “What does that mean? When did you—”

“I started working for Sonny before you did, Jason.” Francis shoved his hands in his pockets. “Did he ever tell you I was Elizabeth’s first guard? Back when you left. Sorel went after her at Kelly’s, so—”

“No. He never said—”

“Because you almost never called in those first few months. Sonny handled it, and she was fine. I was around for a few weeks until Sorel realized you really weren’t coming back, and Elizabeth fell off the radar. For a little while. Jason, you had guards on those kids for the last six months. You’re going to tell me you never thought anyone was going to have questions? Especially after the trial.”

“I—” Jason sighed. He leaned back against the desk. “Maybe I wanted to believe I could still protect them from all of this. But you’re right. There were enough breadcrumbs that anyone could have found out. Is that what you wanted to say?”

“Partly. Max has been keeping us in the loop as to Sonny’s whereabouts. He mostly bounces between Greystone and the hospital. The cousin still isn’t letting him in the room, but Spinelli’s been keeping tabs on the case through Maxie. He said Sonny tried to get some info through Maxie directly, but Jax cut it off.  Spinelli knows to let us know if Kate’s condition changed for the worse, so we’d be able to do damage control before Sonny got wind of it.”

Jason had barely thought about Kate the last few days and winced at that. “She’s still unconscious?”

“Been in and out, but nothing long-term, Spinelli says. She had to go in for more surgery, but they’re thinking sometime today or tomorrow. All signs still look good. Sonny’s been better since we got Spinelli all set up as the intermediary.”

“Good. Good. What about the shooting?”

Francis shook his head. “Nothing’s moved on our end or through the PCPD, as far as we can tell. Russian gun, Russian ammunition, but Karpov is still working with Rochester. I put some feelers out to his lawyer, maybe suggesting that we could do something behind your back, but she wasn’t interested. We had our chance, she said, and Karpov has found a more willing partner.”

“I don’t like the way that sounds,” Jason muttered.

“Neither did Cody or me, but other than the shooting? We’ve got nothing to work with. The only possibility is Anthony Zacchara hiring someone, but if he did that, there’s no hint of that anywhere.”

“And I’m not accusing that lunatic without some proof. He might be in a wheelchair, but that doesn’t mean he can’t get things done if he wanted to.” Jason nodded, folded his arms. “But other than that, everything is quiet?”

“Business as usual. Bound to be quieter with half our clients going elsewhere for their needs.” Francis paused. “You’re serious about shutting this down?”

“I can’t ever get out. Not all the way. There are pockets of the business I can’t reroute,” Jason admitted. “And I figure it’s better me than someone else. But yeah, the shipping routes that everyone has been trying to get for ten years? I’m not going to miss those. In another month or two, they’ll be permanently gone, and someone in Rochester can put a target on their back. But it’s not going to be me.”

“And you’re not worried that Sonny might find out and think it’s up to him to change it? Wouldn’t be the first time you tried to get out and he pulled you back in—”

“Sonny can do whatever he wants. But by the time he figures it out, it’ll be too late to get it back without using force.” Jason went back around the desk. “I’m not who I was a decade ago. I guess we’ll find out what kind of man Sonny wants to be. He said he wanted out. All I did was make sure it was permanent.”

PCPD: Commissioner’s Office

“We’re on day four of this investigation and Scott Baldwin is still on this college trip in California?” Harper shook his head and took a seat in front of Mac’s desk. He flipped through his notebook. “What did you have to sacrifice to the gods for that?”

“I have no reason to call him,” Mac said. Harper lifted his brows. “He’s a special prosecutor, and we don’t have a reason to be in contact with the district attorney’s office yet. After the way Baldwin butchered the Hayes case, they’re not letting him near this case.”

“He’ll just make a call to Floyd, and we’ll be stuck with him,” Harper muttered. “You know they’re not going to let the DA’s office have another crack at any case dealing with Corinthos and Morgan. Not after Jason Morgan walked on two murder cases in four years, and Corinthos somehow never ends up committing a crime in just the right way for charges. I mean, he shot his wife in the head for Christ’s sake.”

“Yeah, I fully expect the DA to hand it over to Baldwin, but unless you’ve worked some magic of your own—” Mac gestured at Harper’s notebook. “I don’t think we’ve got a reason to worry.”

“No, you’re not wrong there.” Harper sighed, glanced down. “No witnesses remember anyone up in the vestibule, which makes sense. Shooter probably blended in with the wedding guests fleeing for their damn lives—” He made a face. “We don’t have any open cases that match the gun we found which is good and bad news.”

“What about Sonny? What’s he been up to?”

“After that first night when he went after Johnny Zacchara, not much. Our guys have him going down to Crimson Pointe a few days ago, but nothing reported from that. He went in, came back out. He’s gone out to Carly Jacks, probably to see the kid he’s got left, and he’s been to the hospital. And home,” Harper added. He flipped the notebook closed. “As for Johnny Zacchara, he was in Port Charles that first day, went home, and he came yesterday, I figure because Lulu Spencer was transferred.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know about that.” He rubbed his forehead. “What about Jason? I know he was at the hospital, but—”

“That’s pretty much it. Hospital to the Towers, and back again. I don’t have today’s report yet, so we’ll see how that goes, but he’s been sticking close to Elizabeth. That’s a hell of a thing, isn’t it?”

“Always figured it was coming sooner or later. So no signs of retaliation? Maybe we’re going about this wrong. Maybe it’s not connected to the groom, but to the bride. What’s Kate’s background?”

“I’ll start digging into that, but I gotta say I don’t think Kate Howard’s going to have the kind of enemies that shoot you in the back. Stab, maybe. Metaphorically speaking,” Harper added. He got to his feet. “I don’t know what to tell you, Mac. This case felt cold almost from the beginning. If we’re lucky, it’s isolated.”

“That’d be a first,” Mac muttered.

Jacks House: Driveway

Carly pulled her car to a stop by the garage, then smiled in the rearview mirror when she recognized the car behind her. “Hey, guess what? Jason’s here!” she said, twisting in her seat to look at the two boys belted into booster seats.

Morgan grinned and Cameron pumped his little fist in the air. “Uncle Jason is the bestest,” Morgan told Cam. He looked at his mother. “Mom, if Cam is my cousin, is Uncle Jason his uncle, too?”

Cameron shook his head. “Mommy said Jason’s my friend. I got an Uncle Nikolas. And Aunt Lu.” His mouth drooped. “But no daddy. He left.”

Carly busied herself unbuckling her belt and reaching for the door handle. She tucked away Cameron’s comments to pass on to Jason. It felt like the sort of thing his mother should know, but Carly wasn’t going to mess up again talking to Elizabeth. Not until she was out of the hospital, at least.

“Hey, it’s good to see you.” Carly hugged Jason when he reached the car. He waved through the windows at both boys who waved back. “Are you here to get them?”

“Yeah, I’m going to bring them to the hospital when I pick up dinner.”

“Oh, that’s good. But I thought kids couldn’t come to the ICU.”

“She was supposed to get moved to the general ward at some point today.”

“By the way, uh, Cam made a comment to Morgan just now—he doesn’t have a daddy because his left. Is that—” When Jason winced, then clenched his jaw. “That doesn’t seem like news to you.”

“Audrey said Cam overheard some of the argument the day Lucky dropped off their things. She wasn’t sure what he understood, but he knew Lucky was going away.” He braced his hand on the window, then looked at Carly. “What exactly did he say?”

Carly related the brief exchange, and Jason just shook his head. “I’m sorry,” she said. “He’s such a great kid. I don’t know how that happened since his mother’s a twit, but miracles happen—”

“Carly—”

“I promised to mind my tongue around the boys and Elizabeth. While she’s in the hospital. I never promised to lie.”

“Really? This is the time for this?” Jason demanded, and she made another face. “Look, let me call the hospital, find out if Elizabeth can have visitors, and then I’ll take the boys with me. Bobbie has Jake inside, right?”

“Yeah, but, oh, don’t be mad, Jason. I’m trying to make this up to you, but you can’t go and be mad about this, too. You know I don’t like her. I’m sorry she’s hurt, and I’m sorry her ex sucks. But she picked him and thought he was a better choice than you—”

“Okay, I’m opening the car door because it’s the only way you’ll shut up,” Jason said, tugging on the door. The irritation vanished entirely when he saw Cameron. “Hey! How was school?”

Carly watched him for another minute, unfastening Cameron’s seatbelt, then lifting the four-year-old out of the car and setting him on the ground. Cameron slipped his hand in Jason’s, chattering away about preschool and his teacher and the gold star that Mommy would love—

And Jason walked him towards the house, listening intently to every word. Carly sighed, then went to fetch her own son. Okay, so maybe she needed to be a little more careful about what she said.

Because Cameron and Jake were a package deal, and somehow, Carly was going to have to figure out how to deal with their mother even if it killed her.

Which it very much might.

Greystone: Living Room

It had been days since his aborted wedding. Days since his bride had been shot in the back and had nearly died, blood soaking her wedding gown, her beautiful eyes shimmering with tears, in pain—

Days without answers.

Sonny prowled the length of the room, stopping every once in a while to glare at the desk where his cell phone lay next to the land line, both suspicious and furiously silent. Jason had spared him, what, two conversations since that night? His family was safe, Sonny thought bitterly. His son was healthy. Breathing. His loved one might have been injured, but no one was keeping Jason from being at Elizabeth’s side—

And he was tired of being told who it couldn’t be. It couldn’t be Anthony, the fucker didn’t walk. It couldn’t be Claudia, there was no evidence she possessed the skills. It couldn’t be Johnny, why would he expose Lulu to the violence? It couldn’t be Trevor, he was still too fond of Kate. It couldn’t be Karpov, it wouldn’t serve any purpose—

He didn’t give a shit who it wasn’t — why wasn’t anyone telling him who it was —

Sonny stalked over to the mini bar, jerked the glass stopper from the decanter of bourbon. All he had were suspects but —

“Hey, Boss—” Max knocked on the open door, his face grave. “Andrei Karpov is outside. He says he has something for you on the shooter.”

Sonny scowled, poured a tumbler of his favorite dark liquid. Jason would tell him not to take the meeting. Not to meddle. Sonny had wanted out, hadn’t he? He needed to stay that way.

Well, if Jason wanted to have some damn input on what Sonny did, he might have to return a fucking phone call.

He lifted the bourbon to his lips. “Sure, show him in.”

Max hesitated but shrugged and disappeared for a moment. Then, another man strode in. He was nondescript in all the ways—from his height to his build to his facial features. You would walk past this man without looking at him twice.

Unless of course you saw his eyes — the gunmetal gray that reminded one of a shark ready to sink his teeth in.

No, you’d cross the street if you came across Andrei Karpov.

“Zdravstvuyte,” Karpov said, speaking one of the few words in Russian Sonny understood.

“Don’t waste my time with greetings,” Sonny bit out. “What do you want?”

“I would like to renew my offer to, ah, how do you say?” Karpov touched his chin. “Join forces, yes?”

“The answer hasn’t changed,” Sonny grunted, taking another swig of bourbon. “So if that’s all—”

“Ah, but what if I could give you your heart’s desire? Viktor.” Karpov turned towards the foyer. “Viktor, idite syuda. Come here. Bring our friend.”

Another man, shorter but bulky came in, shoving someone else whose hands were tied in front of him with duct tape.

Sonny lifted his eyes. “And what’s this?”

“I ask around for you. I find a surprise.” Karpov clapped the hostage on the shoulder. “My friend, you tell this man what you tell me.”

“I do the shoot.” The words were barely comprehensible through the thick Russian accent, but he was clear when he raised his hand, extending his finger and holding up his thumb, mimicking a gunshot. “Me. I do the shoot.”

Sonny’s hands gripped the glass more tightly, his eyes burning into the man standing in front of him. “What?”

“Shoot. I do the shoot. Pretty girl. I shoot the girl in the dress.” He cleared his throat, looked at Karpov, said something in Russian Sonny couldn’t understand.

“No, no, you must tell him everything, my friend. Do not worry. Have I not promised to look after you?” Karpov said with a wide smile. The shooter looked skeptical then looked at Sonny again.

“Man hire me. Need Russian gun. Russian man. He say it how it has to be. So I do the shoot. I try to get away. To leave country.” The man wrinkled his nose. “But I cannot go, you see? Need permission to go. I am found. He tell me you not kill me if I tell you who give me order.”

Sonny’s face was white. “Who hired you?”

“His name is…” He furrowed his brow. “Zacchara,” he said, sounding out the syllables as the word did not come easily to the Russian tongue.

“Old or young?” Sonny asked softly.

“Young. Dark hair. Say no one suspect. Russian shoot. He say he have perfect…how you say…blanket? No. No. Cover. Yes. This is word. He have perfect cover.” The shooter looked at Karpov. “I tell him all. You let me go?”

“Ah, my friend. I promised to look after you, yes? And so I shall. Viktor—”  Karpov gestured to the hulking brute behind them who stepped forward.

And then so quickly Sonny could scarcely take it in, Viktor whipped a plastic bag over the man’s head, pulled it tight, then pressed the barrel of his gun against the man’s head—

And pulled the trigger.

Returning home I find myself
Wishing I was already gone
But how long does it take to find me
Well I’m waiting for someone
I think I’m drowning
Can someone lend a hand?
Can someone save me?
Cause I don’t think I can
– Drowning, Saving Abel

---

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Harborview Towers: Elevator

There were few silver linings to the last few days, and Jason knew it would be weeks, if not longer, before they could be sure the crisis had passed. Too many unknown pieces — Kate’s shooter and who he’d been working for, Elizabeth’s recovery, Sonny remaining in control, and whether Andrei Karpov had really given up and moved on—

But right now, as the elevator climbed towards the fifteenth floor, most of that felt very far away. He held Jake in his arms, and his son was coming home. Or what would be home until it was safe to go back to the house on Lexington Avenue.

He wouldn’t have to spend another night away from Jake, and the one-year-old would never remember a time when Jason hadn’t been his father. The toddler with his curious blue eyes and sunny blonde hair was looking around the silver walls of the elevator, taking in the rows of buttons, the lights above the doors with the floor numbers — then looking over at his great-grandmother.

They’d already dropped Cameron off at school that morning, and Jason was planning to get Audrey and Jake settled in the penthouse before going back to the parking garage for their bags. But he very much wanted to show Audrey how important it was to have the boys here, and for her help with Elizabeth—

Though Audrey Hardy had been supportive the day before, and she was willing to move in temporarily, he knew she was still nervous. She would be confronted with the realities of what Jason lived with in ways that weren’t possible if she’d remained in her home on Maple Avenue where she’d be able to pretend he really was a coffee importer.

But at the Towers, there were guards with visible holsters. He’d asked Audrey to use a driver while she was at the penthouse, with a guard to take her to and from the hospital. He’d said it was only temporary for a few weeks, but he didn’t know how to explain to her that the reason Carly could pick up the boys without a driver was that both her cars were bullet proof.  He hoped Elizabeth would help him navigate that request for Audrey at a later time.

But right now, none of that mattered because Jake was in his arms. In a few days, Elizabeth would come home, and Jason would be able to breathe with the people that mattered most in one place.

The elevator opened, and Jason stepped out, walking just slightly ahead of Audrey so that he turned towards his penthouse first, stopping short when he saw Sonny lurking outside. He grimaced, tightened his hold on Jake.

Sonny glanced up, exhaling slowly as he saw Audrey behind him. “Whatever you’re doing has to wait,” he said to Jason. “We have a problem.” Jason couldn’t see Elizabeth’s grandmother but couldn’t imagine she was thrilled to see Sonny.

Jason tensed, shook his head. “You’re the one who will have to wait, Sonny. Go across the hall to your old place. I’ll be over as soon as I get Jake and Mrs. Hardy settled—”

“This is an emergency—”

“Then go deal with it,” Jason said flatly. “Or give me ten minutes and I’ll be over. Your choice.” He slid his key into the lock, twisted it and pushed open his door. He stepped aside to let Audrey through first, then set Jake on his feet. “Give me a minute,” he told her, then closed the door and turned back to Sonny. He kept his voice low. “This is my home. We talked about this last night. I told you I was bringing the boys here and that it would be off limits. If you need me, you call me first.”

“You pawned me off to Cody when I did that—”

“You sent everyone to me when your family needed you,” Jason said shortly, and Sonny closed his mouth. “You wanted to be out, Sonny. This is what it means to be out. Now, are you going across the hall or not?”

“I’ll go,” Sonny said tightly, his face flushed. “And we’re going to settle this.” He stalked around the corner, and a few moments later Jason heard the door slam. He sighed, then went inside where he found Audrey setting her purse on the coffee table.

“I’m sorry about that—”

“I imagine Mr. Corinthos has a great deal on his mind,” Audrey said. “It must be difficult with what’s happened to his fiancée. To not have answers.”

“Sonny doesn’t like not having answers. There are four bedrooms upstairs. Spinelli has one, and there’s a guest room with its own bathroom. I thought you’d want to use that for some privacy.”

“Oh, that’s not necessary—”

“You do not want to share a bathroom with Spinelli,” Jason said dryly, and at this, Audrey smiled. “One of the bedrooms has already been set up with the boys. I’ll have some of the guards bring up the bags from the car, and we can make more trips if you need to.” He went towards the back of the penthouse. “The kitchen is back there. There’s another bathroom, a laundry room, and a room that used to be a maid’s room. I don’t use it for anything other than storage.” He came back into the living room. “I had the place looked over for child-proofing—”

“I’m sure you did everything you needed to do. You should see to Mr. Corinthos.”

Jason hesitated, shoved his hands in his pockets. Watched Jake discover the bin of toys Spinelli set up in the corner by the entertainment center. He didn’t want to go across the hall. There was nothing he could offer that Jason didn’t already have access to. There were no rumors on the street about Kate’s shooting, and the PCPD files were thin. The trail had been cold almost from the moment the shot had been fired.

But he didn’t want Sonny to get impatient and come back, and he needed to assert the boundaries. It was important to start all of this off on the right foot — Audrey Hardy had to see that Jason was taking this seriously. That his home was a safe place for the boys, and that they came first. Because if she believed it—

Well, maybe Elizabeth would, too.

“All right. I’ll go. Make yourself at home. I mean that,” Jason added. He went over to the desk, tapped a manila envelope. “Keys to the penthouse, access card for the parking garage and the elevator. You can’t get into either without them. Wally on the front desk holds all visitors and calls up, unless they’re on a pre-approved list. I left the list here. You can add anyone you want. Oh. And the driver—just call down to the front desk about ten minutes before you want to go, and one will be waiting.”

“Thank you. I mean that. This has been…” Audrey paused, considered her words. “It’s not how I expected the last few days to unfold, I’ll be frank, but I appreciate what you’ve done to make it easier. I’ll worry less about Elizabeth trying to do too much if she has support with the boys. And if I’m here to look after her. Between the two of us, we ought to be able to make her rest.”

“I’ll worry less, too. Elizabeth can be pretty stubborn.” Jason smiled when Audrey snorted. “But you know that better than I do.”

“I certainly do.”

He glanced towards the door. “I’ll go handle what I need to do.”

General Hospital: Elizabeth’s Room

Patrick tapped lightly on the open door, his brow furrowing when he saw Elizabeth hold up a hand, weakly gesturing for him to come in. “Hey, I wanted to check on you before I started my rounds. How are you feeling this morning?”

“Tired…” She cleared her throat. “Some pain, actually. Maybe from the new sutures?”

“Maybe.” Patrick flipped through her chart. “The nurse came in with the pain meds, didn’t they?”

“Mmm…” Elizabeth licked her lips. “Yeah. Last night. Before they moved me from the ICU down here, and then after dinner again.” She shifted slightly, her mouth tight. But she forced a smile. “Jason brought the boys.”

“Oh, yeah, it must have been good to see them.” Patrick leaned down, flashed a light in her eyes. She winced. “Sorry.”

“My head really hurts. Maybe I did too much again. But it—it was really good—” She licked her lips again, then her eyes fluttered.

“Hey. Hey. Can you look at me?” Patrick frowned.

“I’m…looking…it just—my…stitches…they feel a little…” She wiggled her fingers. “Weird. That’s where the pain is.”

Patrick looked at the chart again. Her third dose of fentanyl had been just an hour ago. She shouldn’t feel any pain at all.

He looked up at Elizabeth. “Let me check the incision, okay? Do you mind?”

Elizabeth shook her head, and Patrick bent down to draw up her hospital gown, his blood running cold when he saw her abdomen. It was slightly swollen—something visible even without removing the bandage.

“What is it?” Elizabeth asked, her voice low, almost slurring. He glanced up, and her eyes were glazed over. “Patrick…”

“It’s…it’s fine. I, uh, need you to trust me, okay?” He drew back down her gown. “We need to—” And then she closed her eyes, her head lolled to one side—

Beside her, the machine monitoring her vitals began to beep wildly, then the line measuring her heartbeat flattened.

Patrick slapped a button on the side of the machine, triggering an alert to the nurse’s station. A moment later, there was an announcement over the intercom system.

“Code blue, Room 314. Code blue, Room 314.”

Penthouse Four: Living Room

“I’m getting tired of you throwing your weight around every time I try to get you to do your damn job!”

Jason sighed, closed the door behind him, then leaned against it, absorbing Sonny’s furious opening volley. He hadn’t been in this penthouse in a few years, not since Sonny had moved out of it. It was cleaned regularly and kept ready in case of emergencies, and Jason had already decided that it would be where business was handled.

There would be no sending his family upstairs, refusing them free use of their own home — he would try like hell to keep every piece of that life from touching them.

But it would never work if Sonny didn’t let him handle the business. If Sonny didn’t respect Jason and the position he’d wanted Jason to take on.

“I am doing my job,” Jason said slowly.

“If you were doing your job, then how come Karpov found the damn shooter before you did?” Sonny demanded. Out of sheer habit, he stalked towards the end of the room where the minibar sat empty. No decanter of bourbon to medicate his anger.

Jason stilled. “Karpov?”

“Oh, yeah, I see that got your attention—” Sonny whirled back to face him. “He showed up at my place last night.”

“Why didn’t you—” Jason pressed his lips together, looked down to take a deep breath, then looked up. “You didn’t tell Cody that when you called—” And Max hadn’t passed it along either, something he filed away for later.

“Because I don’t report to your underlings! I don’t report to anyone!” Sonny hurled back. “You take orders from me—”

“Not anymore,” Jason said quietly, and Sonny’s face was florid. “And if you don’t like it, I’m sorry. I don’t know how to fix that. Do you want to talk to me about Karpov now or shout at me more? Because I have to go to the hospital—”

“Oh, shut the hell up about the hospital!” Sonny sliced his hand through the air. “You got my sympathy that first day when you didn’t know if Elizabeth would live or die, all right? But it’s been days and she’s coming home, isn’t she? You get to see her, don’t you?”

Jason sighed, rubbed his temple. “Yeah. Okay—”

“No, you don’t get it. What’s it going to take for you to understand—maybe you need to see the woman you love walking towards you, then crumple to the ground, blood soaking her wedding dress—Is that what it is? You don’t think Kate matters enough to take seriously?”

“I am taking Kate seriously. I hate that this happened to her. And if you have a lead on her shooter, I want to know it.” Jason kept his tone even, though the image Sonny had painted wasn’t a pretty one, and it wasn’t one he wanted to linger.

“I told you. Karpov found the shooter,” Sonny bit out. “He brought him to the house last night. The bastard told me who hired him — Johnny Zacchara. Said the guy was young and talked about having the perfect cover. After all, didn’t you tell me it wasn’t him because of what happened to Lulu?”

Jason opened his mouth, then closed it, bewildered at this turn of events. There was nothing — outside this story— that connected Johnny with any of this. The only violence Johnny had ever been involved in had been connected to Anthony. In Anthony’s mad desire to control his son, he’d found himself on Spoon Island during the Black and White Ball. He’d hurt so many people —

He’d made Elizabeth stand on the edge of the parapet — her heels against the slick stone had nearly paralyzed him —

But all of that had been about Anthony. Johnny had never done anything, and Jason was supposed to think the younger man’s first foray into violence had been to order a hit on Kate Howard, to use Lulu and her fragile mental state as a cover for his actions? It didn’t fit with anything else Jason knew—but how did he get Sonny back on his side?

“I understand why you want to believe this,” Jason said, with some hesitation. “But Karpov found this guy when no one else could. How? Who did he talk to? Who was he?”

“I don’t know,” Sonny said derisively. “Johnny hired a Russian. Wanted to frame Karpov probably. What else do you need?”

“Something that isn’t self-serving,” Jason said. “How would Johnny even know to frame Karpov? Come on, Sonny. Think about this! Karpov wanted you to join him, didn’t he? Now he’s handing you what you want without a fight? He’s given you the shooter and the guy who hired him? Something no one else could find—”

“Not no one else. You couldn’t find them. You were too distracted. You didn’t give a damn—”

“I can’t find what’s not there,” Jason retorted. “But it’s awfully convenient Karpov could. What’s the guy’s name? Maybe we can find something that links them—”

“I never got it,” Sonny muttered. “There’s no—” He hesitated. “There’s no way to ask. Karpov executed him.”

“Oh, because that makes sense,” Jason muttered, fishing his vibrating phone out of his pocket, not even looking at it before he answered. “Yeah?”

“Jason? Jason? You have to get to the hospital—”

“Epiphany?” Jason turned away from Sonny, his pulse pounding. “Epiphany, what’s wrong?”

“Elizabeth. She coded, and she—Patrick had to rush her into surgery. You need to be here—”

“How the hell could that happen? She was fine!” Jason was already moving towards the door, yanking it open, Sonny on his heels. “They moved her out of the ICU.” He jabbed the elevator button, then swore as he realized his keys were in the other penthouse. And that he’d need to say something to Audrey. “Okay, okay. I’ll be there. I’ll be right there.”

Sonny had followed him out of the penthouse. “Where are you going? Damn it, we’re not done!”

“I don’t have time for this!” Jason snapped. He shoved open his penthouse door. “Take care of it yourself!”

General Hospital: Kate’s Hospital Room

Maxie tapped her fingers nervously against her clipboard and slid a careful glance at Olivia. They’d had an uneasy truce since her blow up the day before, but there was no telling if the crazy cousin would change her mind and throw Maxie out. That couldn’t happen. Not when Kate had finally regained consciousness.

“Sonny…” Kate licked her chapped lips, and Maxie immediately started to reach for the lip balm in her purse. “Where’s Sonny?”

“Not here,” Olivia snapped. She glared at Maxie as if to keep quiet about the daily battles Sonny had fought trying to get access to the room. Maxie widened her eyes to express her innocence. “Maxie, go find a doctor. Get us some water or something.”

Maxie pursed her lips. “Fine. But here’s something for her lips.” She held out the little metal tin and Olivia reluctantly took it. She looked at Kate, her guru. “I’m really glad you’re awake. I missed you.”

“I missed…you, too…I think.” Kate attempted a smile, and it was almost spooky, so Maxie hurried out of the room to find someone. It didn’t seem right for Olivia to be lying to Kate, she thought, dashing down different hallways, passing other ICU rooms with their clear walls.

How annoying it was to be in the ICU, she thought. Open to the world and on display like circus animals or a freak show. She knew it was for monitoring reasons, but who would actually want that? Maxie shuddered and looped around to the next hallway, stopping at the desk.

“Hey. You. Kate Howard is awake. I need a doctor.”

The nurse on duty tipped her glasses down. “Excuse me?”

“A doctor. Someone. I don’t know. Kate’s awake. And we need to oust the Bensonhurst Mussolini.” Maxie planted one hand at her hip and tapped the desk with the other. “Let’s go. Chop chop.”

The nurse rolled her eyes but reached for her phone. Maxie fished her phone from her purse and texted Spinelli. Now that Kate was awake, Maxie wanted to be able to tell Sonny immediately.

And there was nothing Olivia could do to stop her now, she thought brightly. The reign of terror was nearly over.

General Hospital: Surgery

“You keep hovering, Drake, and I’m gonna punch you,” Leo Julian bit out. He peered at Patrick over the edge of his mask.

“You keep getting distracted, and you won’t have to throw the first punch,” Patrick shot back. “Do your damn job—”

“Boys, why don’t you both stop bitching at each other and worry about the patient on the table,” Epiphany cut in sharply, and both men fell silent. For a few moments, there wasn’t much to be heard beyond the sound of medical instruments being replaced, the beeps of the monitors—

Leo muttered a curse. “Simpson, can you keep up with the suction or not?”

Patrick stepped closer, swallowing hard as he saw the bloody towels being discarded. His only consolation was the steady beat of the monitors — Elizabeth’s vitals were stable for now, though they’d crashed for a second time at the beginning of surgery—

And they still didn’t know the cause of the bleeding. The liver laceration hadn’t reopened—those stitches were still holding strong but clearly, they’d missed something in the first surgery. Had she been slowly bleeding out all this time?

“Bladder and bowels are clear as the source,” Leo reported. “But—” He exhaled slowly. “This doesn’t make sense.”

“What is it?” Patrick’s pulse skittered. “What’s wrong?”

“The kidney—there’s…there’s an injury, and—let me just—” He tossed aside something, and reached for a different instrument. “I found it.  Let’s repair it, close up, get her into recovery, and then we can talk about what the hell is going on.”

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

Maxie tapped her foot nervously, watching from a distance as doctors went in and out of Kate’s room. She nibbled on one of her nails, and Nadine gently reached forward, touched her hand.

“You’ll hate yourself later for jagged nails.”

“Oh. Oh—damn it—I swear all of this has me so messed up. It’s been days, days! And I thought I’d be happy when Kate woke up and I’d be able to get rid of the dictator, but—” Maxie pressed her lips together. “Now the doctors are saying they’re running more tests. What if she can’t walk again? And, oh my God, how am I going to tell her about Lulu?”

“You’re going to take it one minute at a time,” Nadine said. “Do you want me to hang around a little longer?”

“No. No. Yes. I don’t know.” Maxie dragged a hand through hair, then narrowed her eyes at something behind Nadine. “What are you doing here?”

“Working,” Matt said shortly, stepping up into the station, looking through the stack of charts. He looked to Nadine. “Do you know who took over for you in post-op?”

“I think maybe Regina. Or Leyla. Why?”

“Because I got stuck with Leo and Patrick’s rounds, and I need someone to catch me up—” Matt continued to flip through the charts. “Elizabeth got pulled into emergency surgery—”

“Wait—what—” Nadine stopped him, placed a hand over the chart. “What do you mean? She got moved out of the ICU last night! She’d been stable for days!”

“That explains why Spinelli is late,” Maxie muttered.

“I don’t know. I didn’t get the newsletter,” Matt retorted. “All I know is I got my workload doubled—”

“Oh, poor baby,” Maxie said in a mocking tone.

“You’ll get used to it,” Nadine said, and the doctor just rolled his eyes, grabbed a stack of chart and disappeared. “It’s awful about Elizabeth. I hope she’s okay. This is the last thing any of us needs.”

“Seriously. I need Spinelli, and he’ll just be worrying about Jason with this.” Maxie made a face. “How much longer are they going to be in there? I need to tell them to hurry up because if Sonny gets here and he still can’t see Kate, there’s going to be hell to pay.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stick around a little longer?” Nadine asked. “I was just going to get lunch. We can go to the cafeteria—”

“No, no.” Maxie sighed. “No. It’s fine. I’m an adult. I don’t need anyone to hold my hand. Thanks anyway.” She headed back down the hallway, probably to lurk outside Kate’s room to wait for a single moment alone with her boss.

Nadine just shrugged, then headed to the elevator. When the doors opened, she blinked in surprise. “Johnny? What are you doing here?”

Johnny placed a hand on the doors to keep them closed. “Looking for you actually.”

“Oh. Well, I’m on my way to Kelly’s for lunch, so—” She stepped inside the car, pressed the button for the lobby. “You can walk me to my car.”

“I’ll do you one better. I’ll pay for lunch in exchange for some advice and drive you back afterwards.”

“Sold.”

General Hospital: Surgery Floor

Every action Jason had to take between getting the phone call and arriving on the surgical floor felt like three times as long as reality. Stammering out an update to Audrey, leaving her stricken and worrying, the drive to the hospital, parking—

The elevator ride.

Finally—finally—the doors slid open, and he rushed out towards the desk, relieved when he saw Robin talking with his mother. Monica rose to her feet as Robin remained seated, her cheeks tearstained.

He swallowed hard. “What—is she—”

“In surgery.” Monica touched his arm, her eyes kind.

“Leo and Patrick are in with her. They’re the best.” Robin brushed her cheeks, cleared her throat. “Sorry, I was just—um, Leo. that’s Dr. Julian. They think it’s more internal bleeding.”

“How could there still be bleeding?” Jason demanded. “They told me she was fine—they moved her out of the ICU—” He’d gone home—he’d left her—

“They don’t know, Jason,” Monica said, guiding him to the chair. “It can happen sometimes with a small injury. You deal with the obvious one and you miss the small one. That’s why we monitor. It’s why we don’t release patients until we’re sure—”

“But it’s been days! Internal bleeding isn’t supposed to take almost a week—”

“We’ll have more answers when they’re out of surgery. Because you’re right. Internal bleeding is supposed to be immediate. So whatever this injury is, it wasn’t enough to cause concern until now.”

“Can I see her? I need to—I need to call Audrey. I have to—” Jason dipped his head, everything swirling. It was too much. He didn’t know how to juggle everything at once. Sonny was blaming the Zaccharas again, Karpov was back, the boys were at the penthouse which meant they were safer, but he’d also put a larger target on them—

And Elizabeth was back in surgery. Robin had said she’d coded, and Jason knew what that meant. Her heart had stopped, and she’d nearly died.

“Jason?” Monica touched his hand. “I’ll call Audrey. And I’ll go sit with her and the boys—”

“I just…I took them to my place. I mean, no. No. Cam’s at school. Jake and Audrey are the penthouse.” He dragged his hands through his hair.

“Oh. Oh, well—” Monica pressed her lips together, realizing she must have missed something, and for a brief moment Jason felt the rush of guilt. There was always someone else he hadn’t told, someone else who didn’t know. “I can go there, can’t I?”

“Yeah. You’re on the list…” He met her eyes. “It’s not just…it’s not because of Elizabeth that they’re there. I mean, it’s not just—” He winced. “Yes, it’s because of her. But it’s…Jake’s my son.”

“Your—” Her eyes filled, and she pressed two fingers to her lips as she absorbed it. “Oh. Oh. And now you’ve…you’ve brought him home?”

“Yes. Audrey knows. We told her the other day,” Jason added so his mother didn’t think her old friend had known so much longer. “I just—” He looked back at Robin. “How much longer?”

“Soon, I hope. She’ll be back in the ICU, okay? And then you can be with her.” Robin laced her fingers through his. “It’ll be okay. You know I wouldn’t tell you that if I didn’t believe it. I’ll stay with you until my appointment.”

“Okay.” Jason exhaled slowly, looked straight ahead at the bland walls of the waiting area. All this time they’d wasted, he thought. Weeks and months and years. What if Robin was wrong? What if Elizabeth didn’t recover? What if this was how it ended after all they’d been through?

If he had the chance, he thought, if he could just get Elizabeth through this, he made a promise to himself that he’d never waste another moment.

General Hospital: Lobby

Sonny slapped his hand against the counter. “What the hell do you mean I can’t go upstairs?” he demanded.

The security guard behind the desk offered a bland stare. “Visitors to the ICU have been limited, and you are not on the approved list for Ms. Howard—”

That damn woman knew how to hold a grudge better than any woman Sonny had ever met. He’d gone behind her back with her cousin a lifetime ago, and Olivia was going to hold it against him forever—he knew Kate wasn’t behind this. He knew she’d want to see him—

“Did Miss Howard say that?” Sonny demanded.

“I have my orders, sir. You can leave the premises or—”

“Elizabeth.” Sonny banged the counter again. “Elizabeth Webber. There was some emergency with her. Where is she?”

The security guard sighed, then nodded to the receptionist who tapped a few keys. “Ms. Webber isn’t in a room at the moment, so you’ll have to wait—”

“This is some goddamn bullshit—” Sonny began, but then he saw something out of the corner of his eyes. The elevators opened and a blonde he vaguely recognized stepped out—and behind her Johnny Zacchara.

She turned to say something to him, and he smiled, then they walked towards the front doors located near the bank of elevators.

Everyone else might have written Johnny Zacchara off because his precious girlfriend had been present and had a mental breakdown, but the bastard didn’t look so broken up about any of it, Sonny thought darkly. So maybe he should follow the asshole and figure out what the hell was going on.

Without another word, he stalked away from the security desk and headed for the doors.

We can all hang ourselves from gold chandeliers
And drink goodbye to all, all the pain and fears
Loose lips have sunk this ship to a shallow grave
Washed up upon the rocks
I won’t be saved, I won’t be saved
– Can’t Be Saved, SensesFail

---

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

General Hospital: Operating Suite

Patrick ripped off his gloves, balled them up with the yellow gown he’d worn in the operating room, then dumped them in the trash can. He whipped off the cap covering his hair and looked at Leo with fury. “How the hell did you miss that?”

“I didn’t—” Leo exhaled slowly, removing his own gown and gloves at a much slower pace. “I didn’t miss it. In the chart, I noted the kidney was bruised but would heal on its own. It never should have bled like that. Patrick, come on—you know as well as I do if she’d been bleeding since the accident, she’d be dead by now.”

“Damn it, damn it—” He scrubbed his hands through his hair. “Then what the hell would cause something like that?”

Leo pressed his lips together. “A blood thinner, maybe. We’ve been having trouble with the dispensary machines in the ICU. What medication was Elizabeth on? We can check the lists the nurses have been keeping, see if it’s one of the issues.”

“Fentanyl, I did a round of it after she reopened her sutures yesterday. Yesterday,” Patrick repeated. “I did the sutures myself yesterday, and her wound didn’t look like that. She’d have been in pain the whole time.” He shook his head. “But even if a dose of fentanyl got mixed up with something, it wouldn’t have done this. Not just one dose.”

“I think we’d better run some toxicology reports to be sure.” Leo’s mouth was grim. “It was a matter of time, Patrick, before those damned machines screwed us.” He paused. “Look, let’s just run the reports, get some answers. Maybe this is exactly what we need to get the board to finally replace them.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one that has to explain to Jason Morgan why Elizabeth almost died,” Patrick bit out. “Order the damned tests.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

“Oh! Monica! Please tell me that you have an update.” Audrey stepped back to allow Jason’s mother entrance. Monica swept her eyes over the room, her gaze homing in on the toddler playing with his blocks.

“No, no, I’m sorry. Nothing yet. She was still in surgery when I left.” Monica put a hand on Audrey’s arm. “But you know she’ll have Patrick’s full attention, and there’s no one I’d trust more on her case. And Leo, of course.”

“I just don’t—” Audrey folded her arms, closed her eyes. “It’s too much, you see? Too much. The accident, and then Lucky just walking away—and moving the boys in here this morning—and now Elizabeth is back in surgery—”

At the sound of his great-grandmother’s distress, Jake stopped playing, turned his head to give her a quizzical look, and Monica lost her breath.

“Oh, it’s really—oh, it’s true, isn’t it?” She stepped towards Jake, touched her mouth, then looked at Audrey. “Oh, he’s Jason all over again. How did we not see it? How—” She took a deep breath, steadied herself, looked back at Audrey. “I know this is a lot. It’s been quite the morning for me — but I’m going to be right here with you until we know more. All right? Elizabeth is strong, and she’s tough—”

“We both know that isn’t always enough,” Audrey said, and Monica nodded. “I’m sorry. That’s hardly fair—”

“But it’s the truth.” She touched Audrey’s shoulder. “Right now, there’s nothing we can do but wait. So, why don’t we sit down, and you tell me everything there is to know about my grandson—no, not just Jake. Both of them. I want to know both of them.”

Bannister’s Wharf

Nadine shoved her hands into her pockets, listened to the sound of the water lapping gently against the wharf, hoping Johnny would say something. But the man just glared at the dark water below them, brooding.

“I’m sorry, Johnny. Nikolas didn’t give me any information about where he was going, and I can’t look up the transfer records without being assigned to her case.” She stepped towards him. “And even if I did learn that information from her records—”

“You couldn’t tell me, yeah I know. Laws and whatever.” Johnny sighed, and finally raised his gaze. “I thought I was okay with all of this, but I woke up this morning, and I couldn’t stop thinking—what if I’d seen her just one more time? You know? I could always bring her back before. They just didn’t let me try this time. I brought her to the hospital, they took her away, and that was it.”

“I won’t say I’m sorry again, but it doesn’t change the fact that I am. I just don’t have the power to do anything about it.” She nibbled on her bottom lip. “Elizabeth might know where Lucky is because of the boys, but she just went back into surgery, so you couldn’t ask her right now.”

“I thought she was in the clear?” Johnny said.

“I thought so, too, but I’m not on her case, so I can’t say. But—” She squared her shoulders. “I’m going to think positively, okay? She’ll be fine. So that’s our new plan. We’ll ask Elizabeth.”

“She wouldn’t tell me,” Johnny muttered. “She probably agrees with Lucky and his stupid brother.”

“Maybe not. Jason Morgan hasn’t left her side for like a minute since they came in. I don’t know much about them, but there’s all kinds of rumors. Which means she probably knows a little something about dating someone who, uh—” Nadine broke off when Johnny looked at her. “I don’t know how to finish that statement.”

“Jason and I are very different people. He might have Sonny to deal with,” Johnny retorted, “but it’s not the same thing as my father. You know that. He tried to kill you.”

“I know. But it’s still the same idea, right? Loving someone who has, um, baggage, that they can’t really do anything about. I don’t know. It just feels like she might have some sympathy. And you know what they say, right?”

“You’re going to tell me, aren’t you?” he asked sourly.

She smiled weakly but soldiered on. “If you don’t ask the answer is always no. Maybe Elizabeth does agree. But she might not. The worst she can say is no. And since you already think she will, what do you have to lose?”

Johnny narrowed his eyes. “Why does that make sense?”

“Because I’m right.” Nadine took him by the arm, forced him to start walking towards Elm Street Pier and Kelly’s diner just beyond it. “Come on. I want to go grab some lunch before I go home and drop from exhaustion. Walk with me, and I’ll help you come up with just the right way to ask her. The words will matter.”

“Why do you care?” Johnny asked sullenly but allowed himself to be dragged forward.

“Because I like Lulu, because I think you both were treated horribly after what happened to Logan Hayes. Maybe you didn’t handle it well,” Nadine continued, “but you were trying to protect someone you cared about who was struggling, and you were willing to get convicted to do it—”

“Well, you did your best to keep that from happening,” Johnny said, with a smirk. “The only enjoyable part about being up for a lethal injection was watching you on the witness stand.”

“I’m glad one of us was having fun,” she said, making a face. “I got held in contempt for speaking the truth. You’d think that would matter in a court room. Whole thing was a sham. Scott prosecuting his son’s murder, Edward Quartermaine serving on a jury when his former step-granddaughter was dating the defendant—” She snorted. “I’m just sorry I didn’t keep going.”

“Sometimes I am, too.” He followed her up the stairs leading from the pier towards Kelly’s parking lot.

A few steps behind them, but not close enough for either Johnny or Nadine to notice, Sonny followed.

Metro Court Hotel: Restaurant

“I thought you weren’t expected in today.”

Carly looked up to find her estranged husband in front of her. “Is there a problem with me being here?”

Jax shrugged. “No. No. I just thought you’d be out this week since Sonny’s in crisis—”

Carly closed her eyes, took the hit. She deserved it after all. She’d broken her marriage vows and ruined the best relationship she’d ever had. But man, it got old hearing it every time, especially when she’d barely seen Sonny. “Sonny’s in crisis, not me. I took a few days because I was doing Jason a favor, and it was good for Morgan to spend time with Elizabeth’s boys. I took point on them so that Jason and her grandmother could focus on Elizabeth.”

“Oh.” Jax frowned, straightened. “I didn’t—”

“Expect me to do something nice for someone else? No, I don’t suppose you would. But Elizabeth was moved to a regular hospital room last night, and they’re moving the boys to the penthouse today, so I wasn’t needed.”

She returned her attention to the seating arrangements on her clipboard for the charity benefit that night and made another adjustment. When she realized Jax hadn’t left, she looked up again. “Is there a problem?”

“So, Sonny’s out, and Jason’s back in—”

“I’m sorry, did you stop by just to be a smartass, or did you need something?” Carly set the clipboard on the counter. “Because I happen to know you’ve been out for a few days looking after Kate. What’s the matter? You’re not enjoying your own dose of revenge? You think I don’t know why you’re being petty and cutting Sonny out of Kate’s care—”

“Let me guess—Sonny came running to you. Did he ask you to plead his case? Because he can go to hell—”

“You are so damned frustrating!” Carly said, fighting the urge to stamp her foot. “You can’t even see—”

His phone rang and he held up a finger. “Hold that thought,” he said, turning away.

Carly glared at him, then snatched her own vibrating phone from the counter. “Yeah? What?”

“Carly? Is—Is this a bad time?”

At the sound of Jason’s hesitant voice, Carly forgot all about her irritating husband. “Jason? Hey. How are you? What’s going on?”

“I need—I need you to pick up Cam from school. Take him for a few hours. Elizabeth—” There was a pause. “She’s back in surgery. She—coded and had to be rushed into surgery.”

“Oh my God! Oh my God. Of course. I’ll pick him up. I’ll take care of him. Jake—”

“Audrey’s coming to the hospital, and Monica is at the penthouse. I’ll call you, okay?”

“Of course. Anything you need. Keep me posted.” Carly clicked off the phone and looked back at Jax. “I have to go—”

“So do I. Kate’s finally awake—” Jax hesitated, catching her arm. “Are you—was something wrong? You look upset.”

“Elizabeth. She was supposed to come home tomorrow but something happened, and now she’s in surgery, and Jason sounded upset. He needs me to get Cameron.” Carly took a deep breath. “But that’s good about Kate. I mean that, Jax. I never wanted her to be hurt. I never wanted anyone to get hurt.”

“I know. I know that. It’s just—” Jax looked away, his eyes slightly unfocused. “Just feels like it’s all been wrong for months, and I don’t know how to get back.” Then he looked at her. “I don’t even know if I want to go back.”

Carly pressed her lips together. “And I can’t fix that for you. I did what I did, and if you can’t forgive it, there’s nothing more we can say. I have to go. Give my best to Kate. Whatever that’s worth.”

General Hospital: Elizabeth’s Room

Jason set the phone aside, reassured that Audrey would be able to come straight to the hospital and see for herself that Elizabeth had made it through another surgery. Monica was happy to look after Jake, and Cameron would be in good hands.

He dragged his hands down his face, then sat down in the chair next to the bed, his elbows resting on his knees, watching Elizabeth as she slept, still intubated from the surgery. Her skin was pale, the bruise on her cheek even starker in contrast now. Her chest slowly rose, then fell—and for a long time he just watched her breathe.

She’d nearly died again, and no one could explain how internal bleeding could be missed for so long without causing death. Jason wasn’t going to let that go — something wasn’t right, and he could see it in both Monica and Robin’s reactions.

He’d have Audrey look over the medical chart when she came, and maybe she could explain it. He needed to know if Elizabeth was safe this time—if she was truly going to be okay—

How was he supposed to think about anything else?

Jason grimaced, leaned back, and reached for his phone. He hadn’t given Sonny a second thought since the call had come in. And it was never a good idea to ignore Sonny that long.

He pressed the speed dial and waited for the call to connect, but it rang until it was sent to voicemail. Jason took the phone from his ear to look at it for a long moment, wondering if Sonny was already doing something that they’d all regret later?

But the thought only lingered for a moment, interrupted when he saw Audrey down the hallway. By the time Elizabeth’s grandmother had reached the room, Jason had put it—and Sonny—out of his mind again.

General Hospital: Kate’s Room

“I heard you the first time, Olivia. I understand that I was shot.” Kate leaned back against the pillows, closed her eyes. “I didn’t ask what happened. I asked where Sonny is.”

“I just can’t understand how you could want to see that man after what he’s put us through—” Olivia turned away, looked at Jax. “Can’t you speak some sense into her?”

“I—” Jax opened his mouth, but Kate sliced her hand through the air. The gesture wasn’t as sharp as it might have been a week earlier, but the dismissal was no less clear.

She looked to Maxie, standing quietly by the door. “Maxie. You’ll know. You always know. Where’s Sonny?”

“I don’t know,” Maxie answered truthfully, avoiding Olivia’s death stare.

Kate’s brow furrowed. “He didn’t tell you when he’d be back?”

“Well,” Maxie said slowly, “No, because he hasn’t been allowed in this room.” And with Kate awake and asking questions, that meant she could start talking.

“What?” Kate raised her head, then whipped it around to look at her cousin. “What is she talking about?”

“Nothing. Nothing in that head but fluff and fashion—”

“Kate’s awake now, so you can’t threaten to kick me out anymore,” Maxie interrupted. She folded her arms. “Olivia refused to let Sonny come see you, okay? And she threatened to cut me out, too. And so, I let her, I’m sorry for that.”

“You refused—” Kate scowled. “Olivia!”

“Well, you’d just been shot, okay! What was I supposed to do? Let him in and bring all that back to you again?” Olivia huffed. “So, he’s been cut out for a few days. He’ll get over it.”

“I’ll deal with you later. And you,” Kate said flatly, glaring at Jax. “Maxie? Find Sonny.”

“On it!”

General Hospital: Conference Room

Patrick and Leo hunched over the laptop on the table, watching the tape of Elizabeth’s original surgery. As a teaching hospital, they’d recorded it, and Patrick knew Leo wanted to be sure he hadn’t mistaken the kidney’s condition at the time. They were still waiting on the results of the toxicology reports.

Epiphany came into the room, a sheaf of papers clutched in her hands. “The dispensary in the ICU and Elizabeth’s floor both recorded doses of fentanyl being dispensed at the times recorded in the chart.”

“Different nurses?”

“Hailey Bell in the ICU dispensed one dose before Elizabeth came down to the general ward, and Nyla Sanchez administered two more — one in the middle of the night, and one about an hour before she crashed.”

“Were we having issues with the dispensary on that floor?” Patrick asked, reaching for the papers.

“Not that I know of, but some of the nurses floated enough to pass along the new routines. Hailey’s off the schedule for three days, but I can ask Nyla. Hold on—” Epiphany went to the door when there was a knock, and Patrick looked over the records, confirming Epiphany’s report.

He heard a sharp intake of breath and looked up. Epiphany returned with more papers in her hands. “What is it?”

“Toxicology.”

Patrick snatched it from her, then stared dumbfounded. “Warfarin—but—”

Leo’s head snapped up, and he paused the video. “Warfarin? How much?” Patrick read out the number, and Leo winced. “That’s not just one dose.”

“There’s no trace of fentanyl at all.” Patrick took a deep breath. “Just the warfarin. I’d have to—” He cleared his throat, found it difficult to speak. “I’d have to do the math. Look at the dosages. Robin—she’d, uh, know. But she never got any fentanyl at all. Not according to this.”

“Then—but how could the machine make the same mistake three times?” Epiphany asked, furrowing her brow.

“It wouldn’t. Maybe if she hadn’t been moved—but this is two different machines, two different floors. Two different nursing codes. That’s—” Patrick rubbed his chest. “That’s just not possible.”

“Then what are we talking about?” Leo asked.

“You know—this reminds me of what happened last month,” Epiphany said. “Damien Spinelli was admitted to the hospital. He had a fever spike that couldn’t be controlled with medication for hours,” she told them. “He didn’t respond to a few different medications.”

Leo frowned, leaned forward. “We’ve had a higher post-op infection rate on the surgery floor. And didn’t you say ICU deaths were up this year?”

“Nadine was talking about it, yeah.” Patrick rubbed his mouth. “What are we talking about here? What are we saying?”

“I don’t know, but it seems like a whole lot is going wrong these days. And now we’ve got one of our own being deliberately dosed with a medicine guaranteed to cause issues, possibly even fatal complications. How badly was her kidney injured in the accident?” Epiphany asked.

Leo twisted the laptop around so that the screen was visible to them. “Light bruising which I noted in the chart during the surgery. I said it would heal on its own as the patient recovered from the liver laceration repair. Instead, warfarin exacerbated the bleeding, and she nearly died. If she was getting the warfarin instead of pain meds, we were maybe minutes away from tragedy. Had you acted any slower, Patrick—”

“Yeah, I hear you.”

“Are we saying there’s sabotage going on here?” Leo wanted to know. “I mean, come on. Let’s forget we’re talking about Elizabeth for a second. Okay? The same day Kate Howard gets shot, the other woman attached to the Port Charles mob gets into a car accident and nearly dies—let’s not get too ahead of ourselves. Even Epiphany can really only point to one other possible case, and it’s linked to Jason.”

“Kate Howard got shot. That’s not news in the world of Jason and Sonny. It’s a normal day,” Epiphany said grimly, and Patrick looked away, remembering that her son had died because of that world earlier that year. “Medical sabotage, if that’s what we’re talking about, that’s different.”

Leo nodded, took that in. “I still say it’s mob related, but I won’t pretend I have the experience. But I don’t like the alternative of another Jolene Crowell haunting the halls. Both options suck.”

Patrick looked at the ceiling, then breathed in, long and deep. Medical sabotage. Elizabeth had nearly died because somehow, someway, the hospital where she worked had injected her with enough blood thinners to nearly kill her.

“Patrick? Should I call the hospital’s attorney? Get Risk Management on the phone—”

“No. No—” Patrick looked at her. “Not yet. Let’s just—one step at a time. Okay? I have to talk to Jason. I have to bring him in on this. If we go to the cops, that’s it. That’s the hospital. After last year, we were lucky to have a chance to rebuild. We won’t survive another round of bad press. The state will come in and take over.”

“So we keep it quiet?” Leo demanded. “Patrick, come on—”

“We figure out how it’s being done and fix it,” Patrick said. “Unless you want to look for another job, Leo. We don’t even know anything’s wrong except for what happened to Elizabeth, and if I report that to the cops, then—” He paused. “We need time to figure this out. Leo—”

“I know. I know. You’re right. GH won’t survive another Jolene Crowell,” the surgeon said with a sigh. He got to his feet. “I’ll pull my surgical records going back at least a month. Let’s see if we can’t figure out some patterns.” He lifted his brows. “You go to tell the head of the Port Charles mob your hospital nearly killed his girlfriend. I’m glad I’m not you.”

Elm Street Pier

Nadine rolled her eyes, stepped off the last stair, and turned to level a glare at Johnny. “I do not talk too much!”

“You absolutely do,” he returned, jogging down the last few steps. He held a white sheet of paper in his hand — the speech Nadine had scrawled over the back of a takeout menu from Kelly’s while they’d had lunch. “You don’t really think I’m going to say all of this? Most of it doesn’t make sense—”

“You weren’t even listening,” she grumbled. She yanked it from his hand. “It’s branches of conversation, okay? Best possible answers. What if she asks about your dad? What if she asks about Jason, what if—”

“What if the sun falls from the sky?” Johnny quipped, yanking the paper back because while it might be mostly nonsensical, it was a place to start, and he appreciate the effort she’d given.

“Aren’t you supposed to be smarter than that? The sun can’t fall from the sky—” Nadine scowled. “Oh. You were just making fun of me, weren’t you?”

“You catch on quick,” Johnny drawled. He folded the paper and slid it in his pocket. “Why don’t you just come with me when I do this? Jason won’t let me in the room on my own, but if you were there—”

“You’re just being dramatic—” Nadine turned away from him, and he grabbed her arm to stop her from flouncing off.

“Seriously. Everyone likes you. Even Scott was almost laughing at you, and you were screwing up his case. Come with me. I need you.”

She looked at him, paralyzed for a moment by the intensity in his dark eyes, then opened her mouth to respond—until a voice from the other side of the pier stopped her cold.

“You work fast.”

Johnny glanced up, his mouth pinching as Sonny sauntered down the shorter set of stairs that led from Bannister’s Wharf. He stepped in front of Nadine. “We’re just leaving—”

“I’m supposed to think you had nothing to do with shooting Kate because of what happened to Lulu,” Sonny bit out, and Johnny tensed. “But here you are with another blonde like Lulu never existed. Or maybe you don’t notice the difference in the dark. One’s as good as the other, huh?”

Johnny held out a hand, as if to warn Nadine to keep quiet, but the normally bubbly nurse had fallen silent. He wanted to look at her, to reassure her, but he was afraid if he looked away —

Something was different today. Sonny was different. Something had changed, and the hatred was more intense than Johnny had ever experienced.

“I didn’t have anything to do with Kate,” Johnny said a bit slowly, trying to sound patient. Understanding. “I’ve been focused on Lulu. Her brothers took her to California. I can’t see her. Talk to her. Nadine’s helping me. She’s a friend. Why don’t you let her be on her way, and you and me can talk about this—”

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Nadine muttered, but he ignored her.

“You think you can talk your way out of what I know?” Sonny demanded. He reached inside his suit jacket—and now the gun was pointed at Johnny. At Nadine just behind him because bullets missed all the time, just like they had when he’d been a kid and his mother had paid the price.

He’d dragged Nadine out here to pick her brain, and now she was standing near a trigger-happy asshole who never gave Johnny the benefit of the doubt, even though Johnny had never done a damn thing to deserve any of this. Except be born with the wrong last name.

Johnny held up his hands, edged even more firmly in front of Nadine. This would be a great day for someone to walk by, to see this — but apparently the docks were going to be a ghost town.

“I don’t know what you know, all I can say is what happened. I took Lulu to the wedding. She was so excited to see Kate. I knew she was doing better, and that’s all I cared about. I would never put her in danger, Sonny. I love her. I miss her—”

“You don’t love anyone. You’re just as crazy as your damn father—”

Johnny saw Sonny’s finger clench around the trigger—Christ, the man had lost his damn mind—How was he going to get out of this without getting himself or Nadine killed?

“Let Nadine go. She’s not part of any of this—” Johnny started again, but when Sonny lifted the gun slightly, adjusted his aim, he made his move.

He whirled around, grabbed Nadine around the waist, and tackled her—shoving her behind the bench just beyond the stairs. He heard gunfire in their wake, but felt nothing—

“What the hell—” Nadine yelped, but Johnny shoved her head down, reaching beneath his jacket.

He never traveled to Port Charles without being armed. Not after he’d been kidnapped and shoved into an abandoned insane asylum.

“Stay here,” he ordered, then got to his feet — Sonny was almost on them, but Johnny didn’t bother trying to aim for a lower extremity—he wanted to live, and he didn’t want another woman to suffer because of him.

He squeezed off two shots, and had grabbed Nadine’s hand to haul her to her feet before Sonny had even hit the boards of the pier.

“Oh my God, oh my God—”

“Go, go, go!” He pushed her in front of him, all but shoving her up the stairs. “Run!”

Nadine finally got moving, and they bolted from the pier, leaving Sonny laying on the ground, staring up the sky, blood soaking through his shirt and beneath his head.

And why do you lie
When you want to die
When you hurt inside?
Don’t know what you lie for anyway
Now there’s nothing left to say
– Nothing in My Way, Keane

---

Friday, September 26, 2008

General Hospital: Hallway

This was not a conversation Patrick wanted to have in public, but unfortunately the only way he could catch Epiphany these days was on the run. He tracked her down in a hallway in the ICU, and from the expression on her face — she knew what he was coming to say.

“If you’re coming near me with another refusal from that damn board,” she began, slapping a chart back into the slot in the closed door. “You can just turn right back around and tell them you’re going to need a new head nurse.”

“I’m sorry. I really thought with the new fiscal year, but—”

“What am I going to do? Five more nurses were barely going to cover what we needed,” she muttered heading for the next door, whipping out the chart and skimming it. “But I can’t even get one?”

“I fought it. I promise. But the board—”

“Bunch of stingy-ass men in suits who think medicine should turn a profit. You know what—” She turned back to him, one of her fingers stabbing at him, then she sighed. “I’m taking it out on the wrong person, I know that. But you’re the fool standing in front of me, so I don’t know what choice I have.”

Patrick grimaced, shoved his hands in the pocket of his lab coat. “I’m sorry. I knew we were running thin with nurses before I took over, but I had no idea how bad it was.”

“You know what happens with a nursing shortage?” Epiphany demanded. “The ones I have get run ragged. I float my best nurses from department to department trying to stem the tide. They’re getting sicker and burnt out. They’re calling out and taking vacation days at higher rates, which just makes the problem worse. Did you tell the board any of this?”

“It was in the proposal I sent.” And Patrick was not going to tell her that the recommendation had been for the head nurse to be a bit more efficient with her assignments. Not if he didn’t want to be bailing Epiphany out of jail for assault. “I’m not going to stop trying, I promise. But—”

“Even the best nurses screw up when they’re tired and overworked. The board wants to save money, but they’re just going to cause more malpractice cases,” she muttered. The nurse’s eyes narrowed when she caught sight of something just over Patrick’s shoulder. “Speaking of vacations at the absolute worst time.”

Elizabeth appeared at Patrick’s side. “Hey, everything okay?”

“No, the board shut down the funding again,” Epiphany bit out. “Did you have to take two weeks’ vacation right now? I expected better from a member of your family.” And with that, she stalked off, turning the corner towards the nurse’s station.

---

Elizabeth watched Epiphany walk away, grimacing. “I’m sorry. I know it was last minute—”

“You know she really doesn’t mean it. She’s just angry—”

“She should be. I’ve been floated to six different departments in the last six months,” Elizabeth said with a wrinkle of her nose. “I’ve been pulling so many doubles, I nearly forgot what my boys looked like.”

“What are you doing here anyway? Your vacation started yesterday, didn’t it?” Patrick wanted to know. He started for the elevators, and Elizabeth followed.

“No—one of the reasons Epiphany is angry is I scheduled my vacation days to fall after my usual three days off. I know, I know, that’s how it’s supposed to work, but I could have done her a favor, worked these days. I just—there’s a lot to do before I leave the boys for a week.”

Patrick pressed the button for the first floor. “They’re not going with you? I figured you were taking them to Disney or something.”

“No, I’m doing that next summer. Cam just started preschool, so they’re with Lucky.”

“About time he did his part,” Patrick grumbled. He waited for the elevator doors to close before frowning. “I don’t understand — are you going alone?”

“That’s why I wanted to come by,” Elizabeth said. “I need a few things from my locker, but I wanted to give you my travel information. So that someone has it. I’m not telling Lucky where I’m going either.”

Patrick gave her a look but kept the questions to himself until they were in his office. He flicked through the messages the secretary had given him. “So why all the secrecy?”

“Because I’m going to Italy with Jason.”

His dark head stayed down for a minute, as if he were still reading the yellow notes in his hand, but his body had stilled. Finally, he raised his eyes to hers. “Italy. With Jason Morgan. That’s—I’m going to need more information.”

Elizabeth dug in her bag for the information she’d brought. “There — my flight information, numbers of the hotel. I don’t expect Lucky to need anything, but if he does, you’ll be the only one who can get in touch with me. I don’t want him to know where I am. Or who I’m with.”

“Goes without saying this is in the vault—” He shoved the paper into a folder, then scowled. “But you have a lot of explaining to do. I know you testified at the trial last year that you two were, uh, that there was something there a few years ago—”

Elizabeth sat down, staring at the mahogany desk where she’d seen her grandfather so often in her childhood. “Two summers ago. We slept together the night of the black out. I got pregnant with Jake—”

Patrick squinted. “I think I need to take a seat for this, don’t I?”

“No, no, I mean, maybe—” She sighed when he actually sat down. “It’s not that big a deal, honestly. I got pregnant, but there was a lot of miscommunication, and well, then we were worried about Jake’s safety, so we kept things the way they were, but Jason and I…we’ve been…together. Since last year. After we lost Emily, it just seemed stupid not to be together.”

“A—a year?” Patrick echoed. “How did—wait—let me just—” He held up both hands. “Let me wrap my brain around this. You—Jason is Jake’s father.”

“Yes.” She bit her lip, looked down at her hands. “The day Michael was shot—when I was called to come into the hospital — we were together. He’d just proposed.”

“Prop—” He dropped his head to the desk then shook it. “Okay, I know I tend to be a little self-absorbed, but I feel like I should have seen or noticed something. You were engaged—”

“Not for long. Um, obviously, it—Jason changed his mind. And I did, too. I mean, I understood what he was feeling, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t scare me, too. It’s been rough these last few months, but lately, Jason’s been starting to come around, and I’ve been thinking about all the people we’ve lost. Emily and—oh, God, Georgie. She was so young. It’s senseless. Lulu’s struggles. And Michael. It kills me that he’ll never wake up. Not without a medical miracle.” She exhaled slowly. “I just started to see that I was giving up so much because something might happen. I didn’t want to live in fear anymore, and I told Jason that. He…this is a compromise. He asked me to go to Italy once, a lifetime ago, and I didn’t go. I’m going this time. I just didn’t want to go without someone knowing. And I thought…maybe you’d be the only person who wouldn’t give me a hard time.”

“I see what you did there—” Patrick jabbed a finger at her. “You think you backed me into a corner, and I’m not going to have thoughts on all of this. Well, listen, I have thoughts. A lot of them. And when you get back from this trip, I’m going to be ready with an outline and a PowerPoint.”

She bit her lip again, but this time it was to stop the smile from spreading. “So you’ll keep my secret?”

“Until you come back, and I have all my thoughts in order because Maxie and Spinelli are in and out of that place all the time, and Jason spends time with Morgan and Carly—”

“Oh, don’t—you know that’s different, Patrick. Don’t shake your head at me. It is. Spinelli and Maxie are adults. Morgan is Sonny’s son. He doesn’t get to walk away from his name. Jake and Cam are little boys who never asked for any of this. Don’t—Jason had his doubts, too. When I was hurt during the fire, he wavered, and I held firm. This is a decision we made together.  It’s my job to give my boys the best life I can give them. For a while, it meant keeping them safe. Now? I think maybe they also deserve someone who loves them.”

“You don’t think Lucky loves them?” Patrick asked. “How out of the loop am I? When did that start?”

“When I told him about this trip, he argued with me. Said he didn’t have time to have the boys this week because of Lulu. And I realized—I make the schedule. I call him to take the boys on the weekends. I make sure they see him. He never has to lift a finger. That’s why he’s not getting my phone number. Because he’ll call me at the first sign of discomfort. If he wants to be their father…” She shook her head. “It sounds awful, like I’m forcing him into it, and maybe sometimes it feels that way. This trip — it’s a test for all of us, I think. If Lucky can’t do this, if he can’t be their father for one week when I’m their mother one hundred percent of the time, then no father would be better.” She got to her feet. “If he really needs me, he can have the number, but unless the boys are sick—”

“I got it. I’ll take care of it. You have—” Patrick winced. “Have a great time. You deserve that. Jason doesn’t, but you do.”

Coffee House: Office

Jason scribbled his name at the bottom of a contract and made a note to drop it off with Diane on his way home that night. There were a thousand things that needed to get done before he had to leave for the church the next day—

And they had to be done before the church because his window to make the flight was so small—

He looked up when there was a knock at the door, then it opened. Cody Paul, his second-in-command, and Francis Corelli, head of security stepped in. “Hey, you ready for us?”

“Uh, yeah.” Jason slid the paperwork back in the manila envelope. “Did you get a chance to check the security at the church?”

“Spoke with Father Coates,” Francis said. “Sonny wanted us to cut back on the guys at that door checking invitations — said it sent the wrong look to Kate’s people, so that’s out. Other than that—”

Jason grimaced — it had been hard enough to get Sonny to agree to let Jason’s guys handle security in the first place, but Jason had been determined. Sonny might be out of the business, but that had been true that terrible day in the warehouse—

His fist tightened at his side as he remembered the phone call. The day they’d sent Michael to live in a hospital bed hooked up to machines, knowing he’d never open his eyes again. He took a deep, bracing breath. Looked at Francis again. “Okay. And security at the Spencer house?”

“Have to be careful with that one,” Francis reminded him. “Spencer’s still a cop, so Dougie is going to take the day shift, Vinnie the night. They’ll try to stay on the kids, but—”

“But there’s not much they can do.” Another situation Jason couldn’t really control. Lucky had refused extra security — the whole point of Lucky raising Jake and Cameron, of staying in their lives, was to keep them out of Jason’s.

But there would always be the chance that someone would find out where Jason was—and who was flying with him. He’d wanted to fly private, but Sonny had the jet for the honeymoon, and Jason hadn’t been able to get a charter. Once Elizabeth had been granted the vacation days, they couldn’t change the dates. He hated leaving the country knowing the boys weren’t as safe as they could be—

“You know,” Cody said, breaking into Jason’s thoughts. “If, uh, things were more public, you could probably talk Spencer into letting a guard get a little closer—”

Jason clenched his jaw, glared at him, and the younger man fell silent. “Do what you can,” he told Francis.

“Yeah, no problem.”

“I won’t contact you unless it’s an emergency,” Cody said. “I can handle pretty much anything that comes up,” he continued.

“I’ll keep my eye on the kid,” Francis said, and Cody shot him a dark look. The “kid” was maybe five years younger than Francis and Jason, but no one ever let him hear the end of it. It was the same attitude the guys had had when Jason had started—Reinaldo hadn’t even wanted to leave Jason alone in the penthouse without a guard.

“And anyway, he’s done this longer than you, and Sonny left you holding the bag for everything when you were only here a year,” Francis reminded Jason. “We can handle a week.”

“Yeah. I know.” Still, the discomfort itched at him. Things were quiet, but they didn’t feel calm. There was a difference — quiet could just mean everyone was holding their breath before all hell broke loose—and Jason had nearly canceled this trip a dozen times since planning it—

But Elizabeth had already put up with enough, he reminded himself. He’d made her promises of forever, then taken them back. He’d been cold and angry with her, wishing she’d give up. But she hadn’t, and she was still here, six months after another child had lost his life due to the world Jason lived in. He could never say Elizabeth didn’t know and accept the risks. She did, and she still wanted him.

And if Jason played his cards right — if the deals he’d put into motion over the summer held, then maybe there was a chance he could give her more. But until then, Jason was going to do whatever he could to make her happy. To keep the promise he’d made about this trip.

She deserved this week. She deserved Italy.

“All right.” Jason got to his feet. “Let me know if anything changes.”

“Got it, Boss.”

When they’d reached the hallway, Cody stopped and looked at Francis with a bit of confusion. “Does he really think no one knows who’s going with him? Vinnie and Dougie are good guys, but people are going to notice they’re on the Spencer kids.”

“Hell, the little one already looks like him,” Francis muttered. He checked the messages on his phone. “You haven’t been around this long enough, but it’s easier to just smile and nod when Jason does dumb shit like this. The world has known about Elizabeth Webber since she was eighteen. He lives in denial. It’s our job to smile and nod and keep her and the kids safe. He wants to be a moron, that’s on him.”

Spencer House: Living Room

Nikolas closed the door behind him, frowning when he saw his brother crouching behind the sofa. “What are you doing?”

“Making sure there’s nothing that Jake and Cam can shove in their mouths—” Lucky got to his feet, set the few bits and bobs he’d located on the side table. “Did you talk to the DA’s office?”

“Yeah. We’re finally making progress. Mostly because Baldwin left for California, something about a college trip for his daughter.” Nikolas ambled over to the mantel, picked up the photo they’d taken with their mother two years earlier — the only one of Laura with all three of her children. “Maybe a week or two. I want to get the papers signed before Baldwin gets back.”

“Have you thought about how we’ll tell Lu? She’s not going to be happy.”

“I’ve limited her visitors,” Nikolas said. He turned back to Lucky. “Nadine threatened to tell her when I went to the hospital yesterday, which I anticipated. She’s, uh, not happy with me.” He paused. “We’ll tell Lu after the wedding. When it’s a done deal. She’ll understand if it’s through the DA. I’m not worried about her — have you thought about telling Liz? She’s not going to be happy with you relocating to California.”

“She’s not going to have a choice either. I figure taking the boys next week will help soften her up.” Lucky folded his arms. “I’ll talk to her before she goes so that she can cool down while she’s gone, and we can figure out a schedule. Maybe the week after Christmas, something at Easter, and summers.”

Nikolas placed the photo back on the mantel but kept his eyes on it. “That’s enough for you?”

“It’ll have to be. I told you. Lu comes first. And if there’s a chance we get Mom back, too? I can’t pass that up. Elizabeth will understand. Eventually. She’s a great mother. I’m not worried about leaving the boys with her.”

Nikolas didn’t really understand that — he couldn’t imagine taking this next step without Spencer, but then again — “What if having you gone makes Jason change his mind?” He looked at his brother now, saw Lucky’s jaw clench.

“Maybe I worried about that before. But after Michael? No way. I’m sure wherever Elizabeth’s going, he’s going, too. But she refuses to tell me a single detail. They’re keeping it all secret to keep the boys safe, obviously. If Jason were on the fence, she’d say something to me.” Lucky shook his head. “No, I don’t think there’s any danger at all Jason’s going to change his mind about the boys. Michael was the last straw.”

“Well, I’m sure you know best. I’ll keep you in the loop with the DA’s office.”

Coffee House: Office

Cody knocked on the door, stuck his head in. “Hey, Jase. Elizabeth just pulled up in the parking lot, and we don’t have any customers out front, so, uh, if you want to help her in with the kids—”

Jason was out of the chair before Cody could finish the statement. He strode quickly through the empty dining area to the parking lot where Elizabeth was cautioning Cameron to stay at her side while she unfastened Jake’s seat belt.

“Jason!” Cameron’s face lit up, and he dashed towards the sidewalk. Jason scooped up the four-year-old and hugged him.

“I’m always happy to see you,” he told Cameron as they approached an irritated Elizabeth, “but what did your mother just tell you?”

Cameron hesitated, looked at his mother, then grinned. “Hi, Mommy.”

“Don’t smile at me, sir. And don’t look at him,” Elizabeth said sternly when Cameron turned the smile on Jason. “He can’t help you. What were you supposed to do?”

“I stay in one place. Right next to you. But, Mommy, Jason. You say Jason not a stranger. He is safe. You say.”

“I’m not worried about—what’s the rule in a parking lot?”

Cameron wrinkled his nose, then sighed. “Hold hand. But you need both for Jake.” When Elizabeth lifted his brows, he smiled again. “You are very pretty, Mommy. The prettiest of mommys.”

“Very pretty,” Jake said from his car seat. Jason tilted his head to the sky so that he could hide his smile.

“Cameron,” Elizabeth said, then sighed. “Never mind.” She leaned back into the car, unbuckled Jake, then set him on her hip, before closing the door. “He’s a master of finding loopholes. I have to stay eight steps in front of him.”

“There are worse problems to have,” Jason pointed out. He reluctantly set Cameron on his feet when they reached the sidewalk, and held the door open for the trio to go inside. He gripped the door tightly for just a minute, the yearning almost too much. He wanted every day to be like this. Being part of it. Having Jake look at him and know Jason was his father—

He swallowed hard, then went inside, letting the door close behind him. “Max and Diane are on their way, I hope it’s okay they’re not here yet.”

“No, it’s okay. We just picked Cam up at school. We don’t have anywhere else to be, and getting this power of attorney paperwork done is important for Italy.” Elizabeth smiled. “Hey, Cody.”

“Hey,” the other man said, pushing open the office door. “It’s good to see you. And hey, little dude.” He held out his hand, palm side out and Cameron slapped it, giggling. Not wanting to be left out, Jake held out his hand and Cody gave him a high five. He looked to Jason. “I’ll send Max and Diane back when they get here.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Jason frowned, closing the door. “When did the boys meet Cody?”

“Oh.” Elizabeth set Jake on the ground and handed the tote of toys to Cameron who started to dig in. “A few weeks ago. I had another flat, I think I ran over a nail.” She tipped her head. “And the SUV I pretend not to notice following me stopped. Cody was in it. He changed the tire, and, you know, Jake and Cam aren’t really afraid of strangers. I try to introduce them to any of your guys when I can. So they know they’re safe and if they see them out and need something—” Elizabeth hesitated. “Was that—should I not have—”

Jason shook his head. “No. No. I just—”

“I mean, I don’t want to think about it, but…last year when Michael went missing…I guess I just thought…if Jake and Cam saw the guards as good guys who could be trusted — I mean, only the guards I’ve seen outside the house. I just—”

“Sometimes I forget,” Jason said slowly, interrupting her, “how many of the people who’ve worked for Sonny all these years would know you.” He leaned against the desk, took her hand and drew her close. “And know your kids. It’s not exactly a secret that I have guards on you. After Jake was kidnapped—” He exhaled, shook his head. “Maybe it’s not as discreet as it should be, but I couldn’t take that chance again.”

“Me either.” Elizabeth straightened the collar of his shirt. “You’re dressed up again. Not another meeting?”

“City council,” he said with a sigh. “Permits. I had to answer questions.”

“Oh, your worst nightmare. Having to talk to politicians.” Elizabeth smiled, her fingers drifting to stroke his jaw. “But in two days, we’ll be in Italy. Just you and me.”

He caught her hand, brought it to his lips. “I can’t wait.”

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
– Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

---

Thursday, September 25, 2008

General Hospital: ICU Waiting Area

“I’m sorry, you’re planning to do what?” Nadine demanded, shifting the patient chart from one arm to the other. “You’re moving to California? Just like that?”

“Not just like that. There are still some details to get in order—” Nikolas winced, took her arm and lead her away from Epiphany and other curious ears at the nurse’s station. “We found a really good facility, and they’re holding a spot for Lulu. They think another one will open in a month or so for my mother. Alexis is working out the terms of the deal with the DA.”

“Yeah, but—does Lulu know about this? I can’t believe she’d agree to this—I mean, her whole life is here. I was just out with Maxie and Spinelli, and Maxie’s talking like Lu is going back to work.”

“What my sister wants to do when she’s well is her own business,” Nikolas said. “But for right now, her health comes first. Lu will appreciate this when she realizes it’s the best—”

“Oh, so she doesn’t know. You’re not even going to ask her? Great idea, Nikolas. Uproot her when her mental health is fragile enough. Take her away from her friends, her job, her family, her boyfriend—” When Nikolas looked away, Nadine narrowed her eyes. “Oh. Oh, that’s the point, isn’t it? You’re separating her from Johnny. That’s low, Nikolas. Even for you—”

“Look at what he’s put her through!” Nikolas hissed, his cheeks flushing. “She’s in this mess because of him—”

“She’s in this mess because Logan Hayes attacked Maxie, and Scott Baldwin badgered her into admitting it on the stand just like he tried to badger me. I got thrown in jail, and she’s in Shadybrooke. Johnny tried to cover it up, and okay, that’s on him. But when it was clear Lu wasn’t okay, he got her help. Why don’t you give him any credit? None of this is his fault.”

“Since when do you defend Johnny—never mind.” He dropped his hands to his side. “This isn’t up for discussion. I’ll go over Scott’s head to get this deal done, and then Lu and I are going to California.”

“This isn’t a discussion,” Nadine repeated. “Well, it’s about to be an argument because as soon as I clock out, I’m going over to Shadybrooke and—”

“I’ve limited her visitors,” Nikolas said, and Nadine closed her mouth. “Starting tomorrow, it’s just me and Lucky from now on. She’ll go to the wedding, that’s fine, but sometime next week, this will happen. I only told you because—” He hesitated. “I thought I owed you an explanation—”

“I think you’re making it very clear that you don’t owe me anything.” Nadine exhaled slowly, looked away, gathered her dignity. “You know, it’s fine. It’s fine. Thanks for informing me. I hope your sister gets well and kicks your ass because what you’re doing? Denying her friends and family when she needs them the most because you’ve got a hatred for her boyfriend tells me everything, I need to know about you—have a nice life.”

Safe House: Living Room

Elizabeth peered through the window again, sighing when there still was no sign of any car or motorcycle coming up the drive. She paced away from the window, then checked the clock over the mantel. Ten minutes past six. Traffic, she thought. Or maybe something had some up. Wouldn’t be the first time—

No. No, she’d spent so much time trying to get Jason back to this place — to seeing her in private. To being in love, even if no one else could know. Though Elizabeth doubted it was much of a secret. She knew the dark SUV that was always across the street were Jason’s men, and Lucky said nothing about the one that always sat at the Spencers on the rare occasions he had the boys. Gram likely never noticed, but there were always guards on the boys.

And, well, it went without saying the entire world knew Elizabeth had slept with Jason two years earlier, that there had been a question about the paternity of Jake. As her youngest son grew older, he looked more and more like his father. The shape and color of his eyes were dead ringers for Jason’s — and if Edward Quartermaine ever got a good look at him, he might recognize his beloved Lila’s eyes in Jake’s face.

And sometimes when he smiled, quietly and shyly, the way Jason did when no one was looking—

They were going to have a lot of questions in a few years, but Elizabeth hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

There was a rumbling, then crunching of gravel. Elizabeth went back to the window, sighing in relief when she saw one of those black SUVs now. It rolled to a stop next to her car, then Jason climbed out. He must have had meetings, she thought—he still wore a black suit, though the jacket had been discarded, leaving him in a black-button down shirt. He had a file folder in his hand when he closed the door.

Elizabeth met him on the front porch with a kiss, gripping the front of his shirt and pulling him towards her. Jason dropped the folder to the ground, his hands diving into her hair. It had been days, she thought, since she’d felt his mouth against hers, his body pressed against hers. “Mmm, sorry. I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” Jason stroked the back of his knuckles down her cheek. “I’m sorry I’m late. Carly came as I was heading out and wouldn’t go until I practically shoved her out the door.” Keeping one of his hands laced through hers, he stooped to grab the folder. “I know it’s hard to get a sitter for the boys last minute.”

“Gram’s a lifesaver, and they love going there. They’re so good with her,” Elizabeth said, following him inside. “Well, Cam is, and Jake follows his lead. It’s like he knows he can’t be as crazy at her house. She can’t run after him the way I can—” She made a face. “Sorry. You didn’t ask—”

“No, no, I like—” He hesitated, then looked down at the folder in his hands. “I like hearing about them. Thinking about what they’re like. It’s—it’s good that they’re gentler with Audrey. And Jake following Cameron—it’s—I don’t mind,” he finished, almost awkwardly.

The silence lingered for a moment, but then she cleared her throat. “You said you had something about the trip? Which is still definitely happening,” she added, hoping it sounded like a light tease, but ended up more as a question.

“Nothing is going to keep me from getting on the plane with you and taking you to Italy,” Jason said, his eyes meeting hers. “I know—I know we had to…I know what I’ve done to hurt you—”

“Oh, no, Jason—”

“I haven’t kept my promises, but I’m trying to now. I still don’t—” He cleared his throat. “Maybe I still don’t really know why you’d want any of this, but you do, and I love you. I need you to believe that I want this trip maybe more than you do.”

“I do. I do,” she repeated, softly when he just sighed, looked down at her hands as she slid them up his chest. “I love you. That’s enough for me.” She leaned up, brushed her mouth against his. “I’m sorry. I was just trying to make a joke, and it didn’t land.”

“It’s okay. Uh, Diane tried to get you pre-clearance for the airport on Saturday, but there wasn’t enough time—you don’t—” he winced. “You don’t travel enough to skip the security line.”

“Figures,” she muttered, taking the letter from him rejecting the application. “I’m a normal person who never gets in any trouble, therefore I’m a security risk that the TSA needs to frisk. You’ve been on trial for murder like three times—”

“Twice,” he corrected.

“—and you get to skip the line. Where’s the justice?” She crumpled it up. “Can we just pay them off?”

“Uh, no, I don’t know anyone in the TSA,” Jason said, and she was relieved when he only smiled at that. Sometimes he wasn’t very appreciative of her attempts to make light of his less than legal activities. “We’ll just have to take more trips,” he said.

“Well, I like the sound of that,” Elizabeth said. “I guess this means we’ll have to meet at the gate. You’ll make it in time for boarding, won’t you?”

“If everything goes right, I should be there when they open for boarding, yeah.” Jason took her hand, lead her to the sofa where they sat down. She curled up next to him, taking his hand in hers again, just liking the way they looked next to each other. “And if it looks like anything is being delayed, I’ll leave early.”

“Really? Even if Kate and Sonny are mid-vows?” Elizabeth teased. He kissed her lightly.

“Really,” Jason promised. “Nothing is going to stop me from getting to that gate. From going to Italy.

She believed he meant that, but it was just so hard to think that something wouldn’t stop them. “There’s more, right? I doubt you dragged yourself all the way here just for a rejection letter.

“Diane thought—and I think she’s right—we’re traveling internationally together and, uh, we’re not related.” He looked at their interlocked hands, and she didn’t say anything right away. She knew they were both thinking about April. About those last few minutes before the world had caved in — when they’d been engaged. Would they be married by now? Would Italy have been a honeymoon?

“Anyway,” Jason continued after a moment of silence, “she pointed out that if anything happened—well, she just suggested a power of attorney. For both of us.”

“Oh. Well, that makes sense.” Elizabeth drew one of her legs up to her chest. “I guess Gram would be mine, and I didn’t even tell her I was going to Italy. Most people think I’m going to the Bahamas. I figured that was safer. She’d be so confused if—well, it makes sense. So is there paperwork to sign?”

“Yeah, some things for you to fill out, then we have to sign it with witnesses. I asked Diane and Max to come by the coffee house tomorrow if you can make that work. If not, we can do it Saturday—”

“I can come, it’s just—I’ve got the boys. I don’t want to ask my grandmother again, and—” she winced. “Lu used to grab them, but obviously that’s out. Can I bring them?”

“Yeah. Yeah. I’d…I’d like that.” Jason flashed another smile, and she felt her own mouth curving in response.

“We’re really going to Italy, aren’t we?” She swung a leg over his middle, straddling him, her fingers fisted in his shirt. “We’re going to spend ten days with no phones, no family, no hospital, no Carly, all by ourselves in Venice?”

Jason’s hands slid up her back, his fingers warm through the thin cotton of her shirt. He pulled her down for a kiss, murmuring against her mouth. “Waking up together every morning—”

“Mmm,” she sighed dreamily, “walking in the Piazza San Marco—”

“Just you and me.”

She snuggled against his chest, tucking her head beneath her chin, enjoying the rise and fall of his breathing, his arms around her. “Can you stay just a little longer? I don’t want to leave yet.”

“I can stay as long as you can,” Jason said.

“Then maybe…” she traced the edge of the black buttons on the shirt. “Maybe we should go see if the mattress is as comfortable as it was the last time we were here.”

“I think…” Jason’s hands slid down to her waist, and then she was lifted in the air, her legs instinctively curling around him, her arms sliding around his neck. “That’s the best idea I’ve heard all day.”

Jacks House: Kitchen

“And he just shoved me right out,” Carly muttered. She set the plate of pizza in front of Morgan at the table, then returned to her mother at the counter. “Can you believe it? He’s leaving for ten days with all of this going on—”

“Do you remember when you came to see me last week?” Bobbie asked. “Devastated, crying. You’d just come from Jason’s, and you were feeling mortified because you’d walked in on Jason and Elizabeth—and by the way, I’m pretty sure you weren’t supposed to tell me about that—and you were so grateful because Elizabeth didn’t even say anything. She just left so you and Jason could talk. What happened to that?”

“I—” Carly closed her mouth. “Look, that was last week. It had all just happened, and I was still reeling, okay? Jax had left, and—”

“And now you’ve had time to think about it, so we’re switching back to Elizabeth is the enemy.” Bobbie shook her head, bit her into her pizza. “This is no different than watching reruns of your favorite show, and it’s always the episodes you wished you’d forget.” She touched her daughter’s arm. “Honey, I know how horrible this year has been. Believe me, I know. I buried my little girl. I lost my marriage.”

“You mean the one I destroyed?” Carly muttered, picking at the cheese. “Do you think I can’t hear myself?”

“Sometimes I think you focus on something that doesn’t really matter and pick at it until you’ve destroyed it. By then, what’s really hurting won’t feel as bad. But, baby, you’ve got to stop picking Elizabeth as a fight. She’s not the enemy. And she hasn’t been in a long time. Are you really angry that Jason’s taking some time for himself? That he’s going on a trip with someone he loves?”

Carly sighed, looked over at the table where her youngest son sat eating his pizza. No one else with him. No brother across the table. No visits from his sister, Kristina. No stepfather to tease him. “I’m angry because he has someone in his life, and I don’t. He and Elizabeth…they’re just starting. There’s…I’m jealous,” she finally said. “Because he has something—someone—and everything is ending for me. I’m angry at the world, you know. At me, for ever thinking Sonny was good enough. For letting him near my son. For letting him leave that day.” Carly closed her eyes. “I’m angry at everything and everyone. Maybe even you for bringing me into the world in the first place.”

“You need to find a way to live with that—”

“That’s what I’m doing,” Carly said sharply. “I’m sorry if that means your precious Elizabeth gets the truth thrown at her once or twice, but she can handle it. Are you done taking her side? Can we just have dinner without you criticizing me?” She avoided her mother’s eyes, picked up her pizza and went over to the table.

She was done being picked apart by the people who were supposed to love her. She’d get through this on her own.

Crimson Pointe: Johnny’s Bedroom

Claudia Zacchara draped herself against the door frame, lifted one perfectly plucked dark brow, and watched Johnny unhook a garment bag from the closet. “Going somewhere?”

“Figured it was easier to grab a room at the Metro Court,” Johnny said draping the bag over the bed next to a half-packed suitcase. “Instead of driving back and forth all the time. I’ll be back on Sunday probably.”

Claudia made a face. “You’re really going to that stick’s wedding? Can’t you think of anything more fun to do on a Saturday night?”

Johnny dumped the last of the clothes into the bag, then zipped it. “You mean hang around this mausoleum watching you and Dad circle each other like vultures?”

“Eventually, Daddy will go crazy again and I can take over for real or he’ll do something stupid enough that Jason Morgan will have to take action.” She folded her arms. “Either way, I end up winning, and all I have to do is sit back and wait. It’s only a matter of time.”

“Don’t forget Trevor. He’s not going to let you take over without a fight. As long as you both keep me out of it—” He lifted the suitcase, the garment bag over the other arm.

Claudia flattened a hand against Johnny’s chest when he tried to pass her. “Don’t be like that, John. I’m not that mercenary. Everyone will be better off when our father is out of the picture and I’m running things.”

“I agree about that first part,” Johnny said, and her expression soured. “Lately, Claudie, every time you try to do something, someone ends up in the hospital. Maybe we’d be better off if you were in back in Italy.”

Her dark eyes watched him carefully, then she lowered her hand. “We used to be close, John. All I’ve ever done is try to protect you.”

“Tell that to Michael Corinthos. Was that protecting me?” Johnny bit out. When his sister flinched, he sighed. “Just drop it. Okay? I don’t want to be involved in any of this, I never did. And you’ve always known that. So if you have some vision of playing puppet master while you pull my strings, get it out of your head right now. I don’t want anything to do with this life.”

“You keep saying that,” Claudia said, calling over her shoulder as Johnny started down the hall. “But you have no problem coming home to Daddy every time things go wrong. You know he’s going to be pissed when he finds out you’re not here.”

“I trust you’ll find a way to irritate and distract him. Have fun.”

Safe House: Bedroom

It was wrong to say that Jason didn’t dream when he slept at night. It might be more accurate to say that he didn’t dream the way other people did — visions swirling in and out of his mind in deep sleep — that hadn’t happened since the accident. He never understood it when anyone talked about weird and strange dreams. Didn’t everyone have control of their dreams? Lying in bed, closing your eyes and letting yourself think about what your life could be like? What you wanted it to be like?

If anyone had told Jason what he thought of as dreaming was actually daydreaming, he might have furrowed his brow with confusion. What was the difference?

When he did lay awake, more often in the terrible months since he’d lost his sister, then Michael so close together—when he laid alone in his bed, staring at the ceiling, he thought about what he wished for his life.

It was always the same — Elizabeth curled up next to him, her breathing soft and even, feeling safe enough to sleep at his side. Across the hall, Cameron and Jake asleep in their own beds. Sometimes they shared a room, sometimes they were separated. He couldn’t decide which he’d prefer.

The nights he dreamed about always started with putting them to bed, tucking them in, reading to them, whatever nighttime rituals they cherished. Then going across the hall, closing the door behind him, and watching Elizabeth get ready for bed. Taking down her hair or brushing it, smiling at him. What came next was the only piece of that vision that Jason was able to hold on to.

Jason set Elizabeth on her feet, letting her body slide down slowly against his. He stroked the dip between her chin and her bottom lip, the soft skin like silk against his rougher thumb. She smiled up at him, that slow, sultry curve of her lips that always drove him crazy — she’d smiled at him once this way in public and he’d had to sit down until he could walk away without making it obvious what he’d been thinking.

“Are you just going to look at me all night?” Elizabeth murmured, sliding her hands up his chest, slowly unbuttoning his shirt, one at a time, her fingers lingering on each one.

“I could,” Jason said, intently. “You’re so beautiful.” She smiled again, but this time, she bit her lip and let her head fall against his chest. “You are,” he whispered against her hair. “You should hear that every day. The way you move, the way you smile, and laugh—all of you. I think about you all the time. It’s distracting,” he admitted, “but I can’t stop.”

Elizabeth lifted her head, tipping her head to the side, then continued to unbutton his shirt, spreading the sides apart, then kissing him, softly, then hungrily, her fingers tightening in the fabric, then stripping it off his shoulders, winding her arms around his neck. He slid his hands beneath her top, seeking out more of her smooth, soft skin, tugging the hem of the shirt higher and higher until his hands were cupping her breasts, still encased in lace. She broke away, her breathing heavy so that he could whip it over her head.

He reached for the button of her jeans, unhooking it, then sliding the zipper down. He hooked his fingers beneath the denim, slowly sliding them down her legs, kneeling at her feet. Jason kept his eyes on hers, discarding the flats she wore first, then the jeans, then pressed his open mouth to the inside of her high. She bit her lip, her breathing more shallow, faster as his lips cruised until they reached their destination, still covered by lace at the junction of her thighs.

Her fingers twisted in his hair, yanking slightly, but Jason barely noticed. He peeled off the panties, then lifted her thigh so that it rested over his shoulder.

“Jason—” was all Elizabeth could manage before she broke off with a strangled cry, when he found her with his tongue. She reached out blindly with her other hand, found the corner of the closet, and gripped it hard.

When she came apart, she nearly collapsed, but Jason scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bed, stripping off the rest of his clothes and her bra in an almost feverish rush. There were no lingering caresses, no soft sighs, or slow movements, not now. Just the urgency and desperation of two people who never had nearly the amount of time together they deserved—

Elizabeth fell onto her back, her throat hoarse, sweat shimmering across her chest. “We’re never going to survive ten days in Italy,” she managed. She turned her head on the pillow, saw him looking at her with a grin. “Look at you. All pleased with yourself, aren’t you?”

His grin just widened, and he folded his arms beneath his head. “What if I said I am?”

“Well, then I’d say…” Elizabeth sat up, bit her lip, then looked at him again. “It’s my turn.”

Trying hard not to hear, but they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears, try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that their goal is to keep me from falling, hey, oh
But nothing’s greater than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness, I see your face
Yet everyone around me thinks that I’m going crazy
Maybe, maybe
– Bleeding Love, Leona Lewis

---

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Webber House: Living Room

Elizabeth Webber set the basket of folded laundry on the armchair, then scooped up her one-year-old son when he darted past her, maniacally giggling. She held him beneath one arm the way one might carry a football and snagged the shoulder of the four-year-old who had been chasing him.

“Whoa, can you guys stop for a second? Mommy has to talk to you,” Elizabeth said. She dumped Jake on the sofa, sat down and settled Cameron beside her. “Just a second, then you can go back to driving me crazy.”

“One second not long,” Cameron told her. “See? I count. One. Done.” He started to slide back off the sofa, but Elizabeth snatched the collar of his green t-shirt.

“Remind me to thank your preschool teacher for teaching you what seconds and minutes are,” she said dryly. “Fine. You can give me at least five minutes. Do you know how many seconds that is?”

Cameron furrowed his brow, then scrunched up his face. “Nope. I ask tomorrow.”

“Great. Okay.” Elizabeth pulled Jake into her lap. “On Saturday—that’s not tomorrow—but the day after it—Mommy is going to drop you both off with Daddy, and you’re going to stay with him for ten days. Can you count to ten?” she asked Cameron.

He nodded, then used his fingers to count it off. “Daddy’s house? Where you going?”

“Mommy’s going to fly far across the ocean to Italy. Remember when we looked on the map to see where Greece was? It’s near there.”

“You fly? You go in a plane? I wanna go on a plane.” Cameron scowled. “Jake can stay with Daddy. He’s a baby—”

“Not a baby!” Jake wiggled, trying to kick out with his chubby little leg because nothing made him more furious than the ‘B’ word. “You baby, I big boy! Mommy say so!”

“Neither of you are old enough to fly ten hours on a plane. Mommy’s going to take a vacation, okay? And you’re going to have lots of fun with Daddy.”

Cameron made a face. “Wanna go to Tally. What’s Tally?”

“Italy,” Elizabeth repeated, stressing the beginning syllable. “It’s somewhere Mommy’s wanted to go for a long time. With lots of paintings and beautiful buildings. Really old cities. Not so much fun for kids. You would be very bored.”

“We go Disney instead,” Cameron told her. “Tell Daddy.”

“Maybe next summer. Jake will be old enough for some of the rides,” Elizabeth said, neatly sidestepping the topic of vacations and Daddy. “I’m going to miss you both so much, but you won’t even notice I’m gone.”

“I always notice,” Cameron boasted. “Five minutes done?”

Elizabeth opened her mouth to say something else, but the phone on the table behind the sofa rang, and she sighed. “Five minutes are done. Go ahead. Chase your brother, but don’t knock anything down.” She released Jake and the toddler took off for the dining room, Cameron on his heels.

She leaned back to reach for the receiver. “Hello?”

“Elizabeth?”

“Hey.” Her heart began to beat just a bit faster when she recognized Jason’s voice, and a sickening feeling began to spread. “What’s up?”

“Do you have some time later? Something came up with the trip, and—”

He was canceling it. Of course he was. Why did Elizabeth think that after all these years, after all these stops and starts, that this time she would finally be able to go to Italy with the man she loved? She sighed. “It’s okay. You don’t need to tell me in person. I’m sure you have a thousand things to do if you have to cancel—”

“No—” Jason cut in. “No, I’m not canceling. We’re going. I promise. I’m sorry, I should have realized—” There was another voice in the background, and the sound of papers rustling. “Diane just came by with some paperwork we need to deal with, and I just—” His voice lowered, and she could almost picture him in the office at the coffee house, standing behind the desk, Diane tapping her heels in front of him. He had probably turned away so that the nosy redhead couldn’t hear him, though Elizabeth was sure Diane was leaning in as closely as possible. “I haven’t seen you in a few days,” he said, almost in a rush of words. “But if you can’t get away, that’s fine—”

“No,” she interrupted quickly, smiling. He’d missed her, and wanted to see her even though they were going to be spending ten days together— “No, I can for a little—I’ll call Gram. I have to talk to her about the trip anyway, and maybe she’d watch them for a little bit. The safe house?”

“Yeah. About six? Would that work?”

“I’ll see you then. Is Diane standing right there?” she asked, that smile curving just a bit more deeply.

“Yes,” he said, wary now. “Why?”

“I love you, that’s all.”

“I…me, too,” he echoed, and she laughed. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you later.”

General Hospital: Chief of Staff

The chief of staff’s office was located on the first floor of General Hospital, just beyond the lobby and gift shop. For the better part of thirty years, it had only been occupied by two men: Steve Hardy and Alan Quartermaine. They had sat behind the heavy mahogany desk that dominated the office — and while Patrick Drake had never known Steve Hardy, he knew the man had died in this office, working for the hospital until his last breath. His shadow — and the portraits of him in this office and in the hospital board room — loomed large.

Even after two months of being chief of staff, Patrick still felt like a usurper sitting at a desk that didn’t belong to him. Dr. Russell Ford had taken over after Alan’s death, but he’d died earlier that summer, leaving the spot vacant. Patrick had leapt at the chance to take control, having chafed under Ford’s micromanagement, and had regretted it ever since. He’d inherited a terrible financial mess, and a staffing crisis loomed in the future.

And his future wife only exacerbated his worries. Eight months pregnant, Robin Scorpio had only reluctantly agreed to reduce her hours at the hospital. Today she was supposed to be at home resting.

Instead, Patrick had clasped his hands behind his back, fighting the urge just to take her by the elbow and steer her right back to the elevator. She’d slap him if he even tried, he knew that much, and it was his own anxiety creating this feeling, not any actual medical concern. She wasn’t even due for six more weeks, so he had no business hovering like she’d give birth any minute, or so she reminded him on a consistent, if not daily, basis.

“Don’t think I don’t know that tone,” Robin warned, sliding him an irritated look from beneath the lashes of her caramel-colored eyes. “Go sit down, I can get myself into this chair.”

“But I could—”

“Sit,” she ordered, and he obediently rounded the edge of the wide mahogany desk to do as she’d told him, forced to watch her maneuver herself into the chair on the other side of the desk. “Now, I told you that I was perfectly capable of getting from one place to another. I don’t even have to stop driving until two weeks from my due date.”

“I know, I know. I just—worrying about you feels like the only thing that I can actually be good at right now.” He indicated the stack of files littering the desk. “Everything else is a disaster.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad.” But her eyes had softened. “You’re a great doctor—”

“Excellent doctor,” he muttered, and she grinned. “But that doesn’t make me good at this job. Chiefs of staff — you know, I always wanted it, but I thought Alan would be here longer. I never planned…” He shook his head. “I never planned for any of this.”

“Better you than Dr. Ford.” Robin’s eyes crinkled at the corners as she winced. “Which sounds awful since he’s dead. I know you’re not supposed to speak ill of the dead, but you shouldn’t lie about them either. He didn’t care about the people. You do. I know you like to pretend you’re some hotshot who doesn’t need anyone, but I’d think in the last three years, you’d have learned that’s not true.”

“I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I’m not really sure that helps. You have to be good at schmoozing and asking for money. The first part? No problem. The second—” He shook his head, looked away.

“You’ve been under so much pressure, Patrick. I wish you’d give yourself a break,” Robin said. She rubbed her belly. “You’ve been worried about me, the hospital—” she hesitated. “And what you found out a few weeks ago about your brother—”

“He’s not my brother,” Patrick muttered, and Robin sighed.

“Okay. Okay, what you found out about your father, though I remind you the only villain in that story is Noah. Matt didn’t do anything wrong except exist.” When he didn’t look at her, Robin just sighed. “But I’m not going to pressure you on that either.”

“Not today anyway.” And he wanted to think about all of that even less than the job.

“No, not today.” She rubbed her belly again. “I remember when Dr. Hardy passed away. He was such a good man. A kind one. A lot of the light and life went out of this place, and I know Alan tried, but Steve was just this giant presence, and it felt like no one could measure up. But Alan didn’t try to be Steve. He figured out his own path. He started by putting patients and staff first, and everything else second.”

“He didn’t have this hospital board,” Patrick grumbled. “I know we had lawsuits after Jolene Crowell, and I’m sure it wasn’t easy to settle them. But they reject every piece of funding I ask for. I’ve asked for new nurses twice, but they won’t budge.”

“Still? But I thought the new fiscal year—”

“That’s why I resubmitted. But it’s a no. Make do, they said. How do you make do when nurses are already floating in departments where they have almost no training? When they’re working doubles just to provide a good nurse to patient ratio?” He dragged a hand over his face. “If we don’t get some relief soon, we won’t just be facing a mutiny from the nurses — a patient is going to pay the price.”

Shadybrooke: Lulu’s Room

Johnny Zacchara leaned back, grinning as his girlfriend checked her image in the mirror over the dresser. It was good to see her smiling and taking some sort of interest in her appearance. Since she’d broken down at his trial a few weeks earlier and checked into Shadybrooke, Johnny had done little but worry.

His charges had been dismissed after Lulu had broken down on the stand and admitted to accidentally killing Logan Hayes. Alexis had taken on Lulu’s case and was trying to negotiate a deal for treatment. Scott was fighting it every step of the way, but Johnny knew Lulu’s brothers would never let her see a day in jail, even if Nikolas had to pull strings to make this go away.

Johnny’s only concern was helping Lulu return to her vibrant and sparkling self, and today was a good sign, he thought. Just talking about her boss’s upcoming wedding had boosted Lulu’s mood, though she was a little wistful about missing all the wedding preparations.

“I wish I were in the offices,” Lulu said, flopping back on the bed and reaching for one of the editions of Crimson he’d brought. “I bet Kate is trying on a dozen dresses—it would be fun to be there for it.”

“You’ll get to see the final choice on Saturday,” Johnny reminded her, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. “And we’ll have a great time at the reception.”

“Yeah,” Lulu said, smiling at him, then the corners of her mouth dipped, and her hazel eyes became unfocused, almost glassy. Johnny’s pulse picked up as he left the chair where he’d been sitting and perched next to her. He reached for her hand, squeezing it. Lulu blinked, then looked at him. “What?”

He swallowed. “Nothing,” he said. What good would it do for Lulu to know she was still drifting in and out? She was terrified that she’d end up like her mother, frozen in the same catatonic fugue state for the last six years. Laura Spencer sat just down the hall in another room as beautifully decorated as this one, but she might as well have been in a cell for all that mattered.

“It’ll be great for you to be around your friends again,” Johnny said. “Maxie said Kate is letting her have the pick of the closet. And you know she’ll take care of you.”

“Yeah, Maxie never could stand to be around someone not dressed fashionably. Remember when I started working at Crimson?” Lulu said, her eyes sparkling. “She tried to force her way into my room at home and clean out my closet.” She laughed, and his chest eased. There she was. His bright, beautiful, sparkling Lulu.

“I like that sound.”

Johnny twisted on the bed to find Lulu’s brother, Lucky, and his girlfriend, Sam McCall, in the doorway. Lucky made a face when he saw who was already in the room—there was no love lost there.

“I was just remembering Maxie’s horror at my closet,” Lulu said. “Hey. I didn’t know you guys were coming by today.”

“Nikolas told me he was letting you sign out for a few hours on Saturday,” Lucky said, the humor sliding from his eyes. His jaw clenched. “I wish you were going anywhere but that wedding.”

“I think,” Sam said, squeezing past Lucky and through the doorway, “it’s nice. Maxie and Spinelli will be there, so you’ll be with friends. And Johnny will be there to look out,” she said. She touched Lucky’s arm. “Everything will be fine.”

“It’s a mob wedding,” Lucky muttered. He folded his arms. “If there aren’t bullets, there will be heartbreak.”

“You’re just jealous because you’re not invited to this one,” Lulu said, trying to tease, but the spark had faded again. She stared down at the pages of Crimson, tracing her fingers over a perfume ad. “I remember arranging the meeting for this ad,” she murmured. “It was the first really big project Kate gave me. She only hired me because Sonny asked her to. I didn’t even think I’d like it. But I do. When I get out of here—because I will get out of here,” she added, her expression fierce, “I have a career waiting. I want to go, Lucky. I want to see Kate be happy.”

“I won’t let her out of my sight,” Johnny pledged.

“You think that reassures me,” Lucky said dryly, “but it doesn’t.” Sam pinched his arm, and he sighed. “But fine. It might do you some good, Lu. I just worry.”

Because his mother already lived down the hall, it was hard for Johnny to take it personally. What kind of hell was it to wonder if your mother’s condition was genetic and that your little sister might disappear, too?

As someone who came from a criminally insane psychopath, Johnny really couldn’t blame Lucky Spencer for being overprotective. He’d spent most of his life protecting himself from his own father while worrying he’d be just like Anthony one day.

But he wasn’t his father, and Lulu wasn’t his mother. He wouldn’t let history repeat itself.

General Hospital: ICU

Nadine Crowell tapped another sequence of keys, then growled when the dispensary machine lit up the wrong medication — again. “You know, when humans did this job, I bet there was less attitude,” she muttered. She fought the urge to kick the machine, tapped the sequence a third time and this time, the correct drawer was indicated. She tugged it out, located the right box, and signed out.

She returned to the nurse’s station where her supervisor was making faces at a screen — likely the shift schedule for the next rotation. Nurses worked four days straight with twelve-hour shifts, and then were off for three days. Nadine had already sacrificed one of those days three times in the last few months, and she was not about to do it again.

“Are they ever going to fix our dispensary unit?” she complained. “Every time I asked for my meds, it kept spitting out acetaminophen. Is there some deal with the supplier I don’t know about? We getting a kickback for using so much of it?”

“At least you double check,” Epiphany grunted. “Two patients on the last shift were in so much pain they nearly stroked out — turns out Hailey didn’t double check, and they got aspirin when they needed fentanyl.”

Nadine winced. “Oh, man. You didn’t fire her, did you? We already don’t—” When Epiphany just glared at her, Nadine sighed. “Of course not. Not unless she kills someone. So that’s a no on the fix, right?”

“Reported it to maintenance in July and then again last month,” Epiphany told her. “Risk Management says keep double checking and we’ll try to get new machines next fiscal quarter.”

“That’s what they always say. Fine. Whatever.” Nadine headed for her patient’s room to dispense the medication.

When she’d finished and was in the hallway marking the chart, she saw a familiar figure at the nurse’s station, talking to Epiphany. She wound her stethoscope around her neck and headed over. “Hey, stranger. It’s been a few days.”

Nikolas Cassadine stepped back from the desk, his eyes friendly but his mouth unsmiling. “Hey. You didn’t answer your phone or the door at your place, so I hoped I’d find you here.

She’d told him her schedule, Nadine thought, but didn’t say it. Despite everything they’d been through together over the last few months, she was getting the impression that if she wasn’t standing right in front of him, he never thought about her much at all. What a deflating thought. “Well, you found me. I can take a few minutes if you need something.”

“Yeah, there’s something I wanted to run by you.”

Shadybrooke: Hallway

Lucky closed the door behind him as he followed Sam into the hallway. “I’m not happy,” he declared. Sam sighed, wound her arm through his as they started to walk.

“I know.”

“I think she should stay here until she’s not losing time anymore. How many times did she just drift while we were having a normal conversation?” Lucky demanded.

“Twice that I saw.”

“Johnny did, too. I saw it in his eyes. But he just waited, and she came back. What happens if something goes wrong at the wedding?” Lucky said. He stopped in front of a room. He stared at the door so hard that his vision nearly blurred. “What if the next time something terrible happens, she drifts so far we can’t drag her back?”

“Is that what happened with your mother?” Sam asked softly.

“I wasn’t there for most of it,” Lucky admitted. “Dad took her on the run after her stepfather died. He wanted to protect her from the cops — but Dad said she was already confused. Didn’t know what year it was—thought they were getting married for the first time. She kept slipping in and out the whole time, and then Scott—” His mouth twisted. “Scott kept badgering her, forcing her to relive the moment she bashed Rick Webber’s head in—and Mom just disappeared.” He swallowed hard. “We got her back for a little while two years ago, but it wasn’t enough.”

He knocked on the door but opened it without waiting for anyone to answer. No one would. Inside, the room was decorated like a bedroom with a brass bed and a flowered comforter set between two oak nightstands, a matching dresser on the other side of the room.

Photos of the Spencer family dotted the dresser—of Luke and Laura before kids came along, of Lucky as a child, of Lulu. And the boys — Jake and Cameron — grandchildren Laura had never met. She’d only seen Cameron briefly during the weeks she’d been awake, and he had no memory of her.

They had filled this room like his mother was going to come back to them at any minute, as if she were a normal patient.

But Laura Webber Spencer wasn’t a normal patient. She sat in a rocking chair looking out the window, dressed in a pair of trousers and a gray sweater. Nikolas paid for someone to take care of her. To exercise her muscles, to wash and dress her each morning as if this was the day Laura Spencer would rise from that chair and go back to her life.

And every day, they had to put her to bed because she was still locked away inside her mind.

Lucky left Sam in the doorway and went over to crouch in front of his mother, to take her hand in his. “Hey, Mom,” he said softly. “It’s me. Just came by to make sure they’re taking good care of you.”

Her eyes, the beautiful blue eyes his father always waxed poetically about, were glassy, unfocused—

Empty.

Lucky swallowed hard. “I’m doing good,” he told his mother. “The boys — they’re growing fast. We can’t keep Cameron in shoes. I remember when Lu was that age.”

He spoke to his mother for a little longer, catching her up on Nikolas and Spencer, on Cameron’s start in preschool, and Lulu becoming a fashionista. When he was done, he kissed Laura’s cheek and left.

In the hallway, he leaned against the wall. “I can’t stand the idea of Lu ending up like that,” he said roughly. “I’d rather slit my wrists—”

“She won’t. She’s got the best care—”

“We’ve kept my mother here because we wanted her close, but Shadybrooke isn’t the answer.” Lucky straightened. “If Nikolas can’t make this deal happen, then I’ll break her out of here if I have to. I’m not letting Lu slip away. I didn’t do enough for my mother. I never did enough for her. I’m not making the same mistakes again.”

“You won’t. And whatever happens, I’ll be right there,” Sam promised. She leaned up to kiss him. “We’re in this together, remember?”

“I remember.”

Coffee House: Office

If he left right now, Jason would just about make it to meet Elizabeth on time, and he very much did not want to be late again. She was arranging for a babysitter because he’d insisted on seeing her, and the last thing Jason wanted was to waste another minute of her time. Not after the last six months. He wanted to show her that things were different this time — he was different, and he was done breaking promises.

Jason pulled open the door, then grimaced when he saw Carly Jacks on the other side, her fist raised and poised to knock. At his expression, hers folded into a scowl. “Oh, that’s a real nice hello. What did I ever do to you?”

There weren’t enough hours in the day to answer that question, so he remained quiet. He had one mission — figure out what Carly wanted, give it to her, and then make her leave. “Nothing. I was just on my way out—”

“To see Sonny?” Carly sneered and strolled past him. He sighed, then closed the door. “Tell me, Jason. Whose bright idea was it to take our ten-year-old son to the warehouse six months ago?”

“Carly, it’s not going to do you any good to think like this—” Jason began, but she just rolled her eyes.

“Sonny’s. And whose idea was it to leave the guards at home even though he’d only been out of the damn mob for five minutes?” Carly demanded.

Jason leaned against the door. “It’s not that simple—”

“Sonny’s. Who shoved his girlfriend to the ground and left our—” Her voice faltered on this. “He’s getting married.”

“I know,” Jason said, a bit guarded.  “You knew that, too.”

“Everything he’s done — he’s the reason Michael is in that place, that we had to take him to Manhattan at all, and he’s—” Her eyes were watery now, and Jason wondered if the tears were real or if she’d dredged them up, sensing that he wasn’t much of a sympathetic ear right now. “He’s the one that kissed me, you know. He started it—”

“No, I don’t know, and I don’t want to know,” he said. “Do not tell me—” he raised a finger when she opened her mouth. “Don’t. I’m sorry, Carly. I know it feels unfair—”

“He’s the reason for all of this, but he’s the one getting married in two days, and I’m the one who lost her husband and her son. Tell me how any of this is fair?” She whirled away from him, went to the desk to snatch up a photo Jason kept of Michael and Morgan. “Tell me why my life is basically over, and Sonny gets to go on like nothing happened.”

“Your life is not over. Jax could forgive you,” Jason said. “You have Morgan. And the hotel.”

“And you—you don’t have your son either—you don’t even have a photo of your own kid, Jason. How sick is that?” Carly wanted to know, folding her arms. “And that’s because of him.”

Jason exhaled slowly, went over to the desk, opened a drawer, slid a few things to the side and pulled out a frame. “I have one I can look at any time, Carly. But I don’t need a photo to remember that I love my son. And it has nothing to do with Sonny.”

Carly took the frame from him, studied it with narrowed eyes. “But this is all three of them. Elizabeth and both the kids. Can’t you have one of just Jake? I mean—”

“You know, it’s time to go—” Jason took the frame and returned it to the drawer, lingering for just a moment on the photo itself. Of Elizabeth on the sofa last Christmas, holding Jake in her arms, smiling, and Cameron leaning into her side, his baby teeth flashing. “I have to be somewhere,” he said. “So if you’re just here to complain about—”

“What’s this?” Carly snatched at something on the desk. “Power of attorney? You’re doing a new POA? I guess that makes sense. Who was it before? Sam or Sonny, right? You’re—” She looked at him. “Why are you giving it to Elizabeth. And—” She picked up his passport. “Are you going on a trip or something?”

“Carly, this is none of your business.” He snatched both from her, though she made a grab to get it back. “I keep telling you I have somewhere to go—”

“You’re going with her! Where? For how long? How can you be leaving right now?” Carly demanded. “I bet this was her idea. You know, just when I thought she’d finally grown up, she’s dragging you away when you know something is happening at this wedding, and then Sonny will be distracted, and you’ll be gone—”

Jason took her arm and gently pushed her towards the door. Surprised, Carly let herself be steered backwards. “Wait, wait—”

“I told you.” He opened the door with one hand and pushed her through it, following and closing the door behind him. “I have things to do. Places to go. Go home.”