March 12, 2014

This entry is part 9 of 16 in the Spinning on an Axis

Jax’s life wasn’t going well at that moment–Skye had moved him to the couch on a more permanent basis and Brenda was dying–but nothing cheered him up more than the sight of his brother speechless.

Elizabeth was standing in the middle of the room, her hair pulled up out of her face. Her eyebrows were arched, as if she were expecting an answer from Jerry. She had her arms tightly crossed and her mouth was set in tight line.

Jerry’s reaction to her news didn’t seem to be putting her in a good mood.

Jax raised his drink to his brother. “You wanted to be a father,” he said before drinking.

Jerry tossed him a look before returning his attention to Elizabeth. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Why you are men so threatened when another man can provide answers he can’t?”

Jerry frowned. “That’s not why I’m mad.”

“Oh, really? Care to enlighten me?” Elizabeth asked tilting her head to the side in curisority.

“I don’t want you anywhere near Corinthos or Morgan,” Jerry said finally.

Elizabeth let her hands fall to her side. “Oh, for the love of…” She tossed her purse to the side. “At this point, I think I need a drink!”

Jax grinned. “Well, you did just turn twenty-one.”

Jerry glared at his brother. “Don’t encourage her.”

“Look, Jerry, I know this hard for you to understand,” Elizabeth began, “because God knows, you’re not the first person in my life that didn’t get it. Sonny and Jason are my friends and I’m not going to change that because you don’t like it. I didn’t do it for my grandmother, for Nikolas, for Laura, for Lucky, for–”

“All right, all right,” Jerry groaned putting his hands up. “I surrender. I’ll never speak another bad word about them.”

“I’m not that stupid,” Elizabeth retorted.

Jax grinned. “You two really are family,” he said, shaking his head in awe. “So what did Lucifer dig up?”

Elizabeth tossed him a dirty look but sighed. “He knew a lot about my mother.”

Jerry raised his eyebrows. “Why?”

Elizabeth shifted and finally pulled her leather jacket off. She roamed around the room restlessly. “Well…turns out Elizabeth Robinson was Frank Smith’s illegitimate daughter.”

“What in the bloody hell?” Jerry roared.

“Who’s Frank Smith?”

“He was in charge of the territory before Sonny,” Elizabeth murmured. “My mother’s death was a mob hit.” She looked up. “He’s going to get a full report on her and track down Roy.”

“You mean I dated and nearly married the illegitimate daughter of the biggest crime boss in Port Charles?” Jerry yelped. “How in the blue hell did I miss that?”

“You were blinded by love,” Jax suggested helpfully.

“Oh, get more drunk,” Jerry snapped. “Have another on me.”

Jax stood and headed for the bar. “Don’t mind if I do.”

“Does it matter?” Elizabeth asked. “We’re going to find out where Roy is and hopefully, he’ll have answers.”

“He wouldn’t tell me then, why would he tell me now?” Jerry asked, a little more calmly.

Elizabeth smiled sweetly. “He likes me–defused a bomb in my studio once. And you know something I’ve learned from waitressing? You smile the right way and men will do whatever you want.”

Jerry frowned. “I don’t know if I’m comfortable hearing that from my own daughter.”

Elizabeth shrugged. “Deal. And besides, if Roy needs any extra encouragement, I’ll just bring Jason.”

“All right, all right, hold it right there,” Jerry said. “Why would Roy listen to Jason and not me?”

Elizabeth paused thoughtfully. “Jason had a special way of communicating with people.”

“Yes, it’s called say hello to my nine millimeter,” Jax supplied helpfully.

Elizabeth looked at him, concerned. “You’re drunk aren’t you?”

“Just a bit.”

Jerry rolled his eyes. “Pay him no attention–he and Skye had another fight today.”

Elizabeth frowned and sat on the couch next to him. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Can you turn back time?” Jax asked, with the utmost seriousness. “Because that would be most helpful.”

Elizabeth smiled regretfully. “I’m sorry.”

Jax sighed heavily. “Yeah, me, too.” He sat up and swirled the liquor in his shot glass. “So you just going to sit around and wait for Lucifer to call back?”

“No,” Jerry ground out. He pulled his coat on. “I’m heading out on another lead. Elizabeth, do me a favor?”

“Anything as long the words Morgan and Corinthos aren’t included with the phrase stay away because I might have to kill you.”

Jerry frowned. “Okay, a different favor then. Stay with him–make sure he doesn’t drink too much.”

Elizabeth nodded. “Not a problem.” She watched Jerry leave before turning her attention to the increasingly intoxicated man sitting next to her. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not right now.” Jax turned his head on the back of the couch to look at her. “How’s your love life? You forgive Spawn yet?”

“Spawn?” Elizabeth raised her eyebrows.

“Morgan,” Jax clarified. “As in Spawn of Satan, as in Lucifer…?”

Elizabeth shook her head, amused. “Yeah, I forgave him.”

Jax looked at the ceiling. “So life is back to normal for you, huh?”

“No,” Elizabeth replied. She turned her body so she was mimicking his position staring at the ceiling. “I’ve decided that a relationship with Jason at this point in our lives where he has a blind loyalty to Sonny is not in my best interest.”

“Yeah.” Jax flicked his eyes over to her without moving his face. “How’s Denial Land doing? Is it nice this time of year?”

“Lovely,” Elizabeth murmured. “Reminds me of Italy.”

“You’ve been to Italy?” Jax asked. “Isn’t it a lovely country?”

“I’ve only been there in my dreams,” Elizabeth said regretfully. “Jason wanted to take me once…but I wasn’t ready.”

“Brenda and I got married in the Mediterranean the first time,” Jax said. “We got married on a yacht if you can believe that.”

“I don’t think she’ll ever think of yachts in the same way again,” Elizabeth replied.

“Probably not. So why weren’t you ready?” Jax asked.

“Because I thought I was still in love with someone else,” Elizabeth replied. “Stupid me–should’ve taken his hand.”

“Yeah, well, we all do things we wish we could take back,” Jax replied quietly. “How do you make someone understand that you don’t mean to do stupid things, but sometimes you can’t help it?”

“You can’t always make someone understand,” Elizabeth replied softly. “It doesn’t work.”

“Yeah. You’re right. So what do you do instead?”

Elizabeth shrugged. “Try to show them what they mean to you, how grateful you are that they’re in your life, and why you don’t regret choosing them.”

“Does that work?”

“Sometimes.”

“Has it worked for you?”

“I haven’t been doing that very well.”

“Pity. You could give me some pointers.”

“You should stop drinking so much when you and Skye fight,” Elizabeth murmured.

“Probably. I always wait until she’s gone. She’s a recovering alcoholic, you know. Damn proud of her,” Jax said.

“You really love her, huh?”

“About as much as you love Spawn.”

“You’re lucky you’re family and you’re drunk.”

“Yeah, well, in this family, the two sort of go hand in hand quite often.”

—-

“Did Roy get in touch yet?” Jason asked, pulling jacket off and putting it in the back of the chair.

Sonny looked up from the file he was reading and shook his head. “Things are in a weird position in Miami–it might be a few days.”

“What are you reading?”

“The file on Elizabeth’s mother,” Sonny replied. He held up a picture. “Beth Robinson, just before she died.”

Jason took it and studied the dark-haired woman in the picture. She was small and petite with blue eyes and porcelain skin–almost the mirror image of Elizabeth now. “She really does look like her.”

“Yeah.” Sonny stood and stretched. “I’m a little worried about this–I think Elizabeth’s being sold does relate to Beth.”

Jason frowned. “How so?”

Sonny looked back down. “Frank Smith met with Roy just after Beth’s death. Shortly after that, Elizabeth was sold or as far as she can tell from Jerry’s story.”

Jason nodded. “So you think Smith had something to do with it?”

Sonny scratched the back of his head. “Yeah. I’ve got a feeling about it. We’ll know for sure when Roy calls in.” He picked the file up and replaced the picture of Beth. “You want to drop this off to her? I promised as soon as Benny got it done. It went a little more quickly than I thought.”

Jason took it. “Sure. I need to talk to her anyway.”

Sonny hesitated before asking the question. “How are things with you and her?”

“She doesn’t hate me anymore.”

“That’s a good start.”

“Yeah, I’d say so.”

This entry is part 10 of 16 in the Spinning on an Axis

Elizabeth was debating on whether to call it a night or continue painting when someone knocked on her door. Grateful to have a distraction, she pulled it open.

“Jason.” Elizabeth shifted from one foot to the other. “What brings you by?”

Jason held up a file. “Benny got the report on your mother.”

Elizabeth’s eyes lit up and she snatched the folder out of his hands. “That was so fast!”

“Benny’s good–” Jason hesitated and stuck his hands in his pockets. “Can I come in?”

Elizabeth nodded and moved away from the door to let him in. He closed the door behind him as she opened the file.

“There’s a picture,” Jason began but she pulled it out before he’d finished. She set the folder down and stared at the picture, her mouth open a little. “You look like her.”

Elizabeth looked up, her eyes shining. “You really think so?” she asked softly. He traced her mother’s face. “I thought you couldn’t see pictures that well.”

Jason shrugged a shoulder. “I know what you look like and you look like the woman in the picture. The brown hair, the eyes, the skin. If you ever had any doubt Jerry wasn’t telling the truth, this pretty much wipes it out.”

“I always wanted to look like someone,” Elizabeth said, studying her mother.

“You do,” Jason said. She looked up and frowned. “You look like you.”

She smiled briefly and looked back down. “It’s different for you–you didn’t grow up as the odd person out–the only person with dark hair, light skin and blue eyes.” She smiled wistfully. “I finally belong somewhere.” She flushed a little. “I’m sorry–I didn’t mean to go on like that.”

Jason shrugged. “It’s all right.” He scratched at the side of his forehead. “I’m sure if this is in there or not, but Sonny told me he found that Roy met with Smith a few days after Jerry left.”

Elizabeth frowned and set the picture down. She flipped the file open. “It’s pretty bare.”

“Yeah,” Jason agreed. “She was only twenty-one when she died.”

“Same age as me,” Elizabeth murmured. The folder contained only the basic information–but it was more than Jerry had, she suspected. But the picture–that was the important thing. She picked the picture back up. “I can’t stop looking at it.” Her eyes darted around the room before settling on a picture frame that she hadn’t taken down yet–of she and Lucky. She frowned a second, wondering why it was still up there, but she took it off, took out the picture and put the picture of Elizabeth Robinson in there. She snapped the back on and put the picture on top of a book about Egypt that was still in her studio.

Jason smiled slightly when he saw the book–it’d been the one he’d gotten three years ago. She’d taken it from him when he’d tried to use it as a piece of exercise equipment.

Elizabeth stepped back and smiled. “There. A picture of my mother where I can look at her for inspiration.” She looked back to Jason. “She was beautiful wasn’t she?”

“Yeah,” Jason agreed. “She was.”

“I know…I know I wasn’t born when she actually died,” Elizabeth said, “but do you think she loved me anyway?”

Jason shifted, not sure how to answer. Somehow the answer that it was impossible not to love her didn’t seem right at this point. “I think she probably did.”

Elizabeth seemed satisfied with the answer. “I’d better call Jerry.” She headed for the phone and quickly dialed Jax’s number. Jason waited–not sure if she wanted him to leave or not.

“Jerry? It’s me…Jason just dropped off the file on my mother–yeah, he said that Roy had a meeting with Frank Smith just after you left town. Uh, huh. Sure, I’ll bring it over.” Elizabeth eyed Jason and grinned. “I’m bringing Jason.” She frowned. “No. Jerry–don’t make me have to tell you again. I thought we discussed this–you know, you’ve been my father for three days, Jason’s been in my life for three years, yeah, well, don’t argue with me, it doesn’t work. Is Jax still drinking? He’s mumbling about spawns and Lucifer? Yeah, he’s still pretty smashed–tell him I’m bringing Spawn with me, but I promise to leave Lucifer at home. Uh huh. And that Denial Land is a great place to visit, but he should remember not to move there. Try to put him to bed–because I don’t think a drunk Jax gets along with Jason anymore than a sober Jax. Jerry…Jerry–don’t argue with me. I said–Jerry, you’re being an idiot, do you know that?” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Yes. Yes, I know. Yes, I know. Jason’s a bad man, uh huh. Just so we’re clear–who got arrested on their wedding day? Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’ll be over in about twenty minutes.” Elizabeth hung up the phone and smiled at Jason. “You know, I think he’s growing on me.”

Jason raised his eyebrows. “Spawn?”

Elizabeth flushed. “It’s Jax’s name for you. He’s a little…he’s in a weird place.” She picked up the folder and headed for the door.

Jason closed it behind him them as they headed down the hall. “So I guess Sonny’s Lucifer?”

Elizabeth held the stairwell door open. “Yep.”

Jason shrugged. “I’ve heard worse.”

—–

Jerry was an unhappy man. He’d thought the girl was smarter than this–he’d thought she understood that Morgan was no good. But she was bringing the thug to Jax’s house and he was supposed to be civil to him. Good grief.

He shot his inebriated brother a dirty look. Jax would be no help. He was currently half lying, half sitting on the couch, still clutching an empty shot glass. “You’d better put that away and try and act sober when Skye gets home from the club.”

Jax opened his eyes. “Why are you upside down?”

Jerry rolled his eyes and shook his head. “She’s bringing him.”

“Who?” Jax asked, blinking his eyes and attempting to sit.

“I believe you call him Spawn.”

Jax’s eyes brightened. “So she forgave the boy. Good, she’s no fun when she’s depressed.”

“You’d rather her be fun and with that…that thug?”

Jax swung his legs to the ground in an effort to sit straight but only pitched himself to the other side. Swearing slightly, he said, “I’d rather her be happy. If you didn’t have such a bias against the kid.”

“Kid? Will you stop calling him that? He’s Sonny’s enforcer–he’s a thug. Can we please keep this in perspective?”

“We’re here!” Elizabeth called opening the front door. She entered, Jason trailing behind her. She immediately made a beeline for the blonde on the couch. “Hey, you feeling any better?”

Jax frowned. “You’re upside down, too.”

Elizabeth giggled and helped to push him into a sitting position. “Is that better?”

“Much.” Jax grinned. “Hey Spawn.”

“Hello,” Jason said.

“Ah!” Jerry said, taking a few steps towards Jason. “It speaks.”

Elizabeth rose from her seat. “Jerry–”

“You hurt my daughter, we’re going to have a problem.”

“Jerry–”

“You hurt your daughter and you’re going to have a problem,” Jason replied calmly.

“Jason, don’t you start-”

“How old are you?” Jerry cut in swiftly. This was his moment–he was going to make this thug understood exactly who he was dealing with.

“Twenty-eight.”

“You realize you’re seven years older than my daughter.”

“Jerry–”

“Yes.”

“How long have you known her?”

“About four years.”

“Have you slept with her?”

“Jerry!”

“No.”

“But you’ve lived with her?”

“Jerry, so help me God–”

“Yes. But she moved out.”

“Do you love her?”

“For Christ’s sake, Jerry–”

“Yes.”

“Uh huh. And how long have you been in love with her?”

“Jerry, you’re going to be speaking from your ass if you don’t–”

“About three years.”

“Wait what?” Elizabeth asked, stopping her threats long enough to hear Jason’s response.

Jason shifted. “He asked, I told him.”

“Three years?” Elizabeth asked momentarily forgetting Jerry. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Could we have this discussion some other time?” Jason asked.

Elizabeth looked at her father, who was still glaring at Jason and then at her uncle who seemed to be enjoying the entire scene. “Sure,” she said. “Besides, we should…finish what we came to do.” She turned to Jerry. “I’ve already read through most of it. You read it and I’ll make some coffee for Jax. He needs to be slightly sober when Skye comes home.” She eyed the two of them warily before adding a warning. “Jerry, you’ve been my father for three days and so far, you’re doing a good job. Don’t screw that up. And Jason? You’ve been on my good side for like a day, so don’t…don’t hurt him.”

“I can’t make any promises, princess,” Jerry said, grinning at her. She arched her eyebrow. “All right. The thug will be alive when you get back.”

“That’s not what I was worried about,” Elizabeth said. She looked to Jax. “Jax…just…just stay there.”

“Will do,” Jax said cheerfully.

True to their word, all three men were more or less still standing when Elizabeth emerged from the kitchen with a cup of black coffee. Jax had fallen asleep and was snoring lightly but he woke the second Elizabeth shoved the cup under his nose. He drank it noisily as if knowing Skye would be home in a half hour and didn’t need to see him drunk off his ass.

Jerry was reading the file Elizabeth had given him while Jason was standing in the place she’d left him, hands in his pockets.

“Anything you didn’t know?” Elizabeth asked.

Jerry paused a moment to look up at her. “I’d say so. First of all, her death being a mob hit. Thought it had something to do with me–so I didn’t think of another angle. Second, her whole childhood. Smith loved her–more than Jennifer. Gives me a whole new theory of why Roy sold you.”

“Really, what?”

“Possible Smith sent me a goose chase, knowing I’d leave you with my close friend. The second he could, he called a marker in on Roy. Death or handing you over. Probably wanted you because how much he loved Beth.”

“Smith wasn’t really a family man,” Jason said. “Sonny said–”

“Sonny said,” Jerry said, mockingly. “Do you ever have an independent thought?”

“Jerry.”

“Sorry, princess.” Jerry cleared his throat. “Smith was a family man–at least then he was. He blackmailed Luke into almost marrying Jennifer because that’s what she wanted, Damien went to the best schools and would have taken over the business if Corinthos hadn’t stepped in. And if Beth was the one he loved best, it’s possible that if he thought he could still have her around by raising her child, he’d do whatever it took to get her.”

“But then why turn around and give me or sell me to the Webbers?” Elizabeth asked.

Jerry shrugged. “It’s possible Roy can fill us in on that. When did Corinthos say he’d be checking in?” he asked Jason.

“Sometime this week,” Jason replied. “He checks in once a week and he’s still due.”

“All right then,” Jerry said. “Well, we have a new theory–I guess it’s just matter of waiting until he calls.” Jerry closed the folder and turned to Elizabeth. “Your grandparents called–they’re coming in day after tomorrow.”

Elizabeth smiled. “I can’t wait to meet them.”

Jax, who seemed to have returned to the world slightly. “They’ll love you, don’t worry.” He moaned. “My head.”

“That’s what happens when you drink too much,” Elizabeth said, sympathetically. “You and Skye should talk tomorrow.”

“Yeah, if she doesn’t lock herself in the bedroom again,” Jax groaned.

“I think I liked him better drunk,” Jerry said thoughtfully.

This entry is part 11 of 16 in the Spinning on an Axis

Elizabeth unlocked her studio door and pushed it open. “You, in there now,” she directed with a push of her head to Jason.

Jason shrugged and walked in. She closed the door behind her, tossed her keys on the table and shrugged out of her jacket. Once it was hung up, she put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

“What did I do now?” he asked, mystified.

“Three years,” Elizabeth said, shaking her head. “What would possess you to tell my father that?”

Jason shrugged one shoulder. “He asked me and I told him. He shouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want to know.”

She folded her arms across her chest. “Three years. Why didn’t you tell me?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Did you honestly want to hear it?”

She pursed her lips and looked down at the ground. “It’s possible,” she said. “I actually had a crush on you then.”

“A crush and being in love are two different things.”

“Well, duh,” Elizabeth remarked dryly. “But I never let myself feel more because you were…well, you were older than me and you…” She stopped and shrugged. “You were out of my league.”

“Out of your league?” Jason echoed.

“Uh, yeah,” Elizabeth said. “Have you looked at yourself lately? I was barely eighteen and I looked fourteen. How was I supposed to know you’d look twice at me?”

“So, wait, are you mad at me or not?” Jason asked.

“I’m not mad,” Elizabeth said frowning. “I just wished you wouldn’t egg him on.”

“I just answered his questions.”

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Elizabeth replied. “You know, in the course of like three days, he’s become more protective than Jeff Webber ever was. He asked those questions to have a reason to hate you more.”

“Wait, loving his daughter makes him hate me more?” Jason asked, the confusion clearly written on his face.

“Will you stop saying that?” Elizabeth asked.

“Saying what?” Jason asked. “That I love you?”

She grimaced. “Yeah. Stop saying that.”

“Why? It’s true.”

Elizabeth just shook her head and started to walk past him. He grabbed her shoulder to turn her around.

“You don’t believe me?” he asked.

“No, I believe you,” Elizabeth replied. “But it doesn’t do either of us any good.”

“Why not?” Jason asked.

She looked at the ground again. “Because we can’t do anything about it.”

“We can’t?”

“All right, I can’t,” Elizabeth replied, raising her eyes to meet his. “I can’t because I just…” She let out a frustrated breath. “I can’t, Jason. All right? Because it’s not enough.”

He pulled his hand away and ran it through his hair. “Yeah, I know that. But–”

“It’s not enough and it shouldn’t be,” she cut in. “I love you, too. And it doesn’t change the fact that Sonny still comes first. That you would do it all over again. And because I don’t rate very high on your priorities…it’s not enough.”

“Elizabeth–”

“Could you just leave?” she asked softly. “I mean, I appreciate you helping out and bringing the file and all that, but I just can’t do this anymore. I don’t like feeling like the bad guy and that’s how I feel right now. So, will you please leave?”

“All right,” Jason said. “See you later.” He opened the door and closed it. She sighed and drove both her hands through hair.

She headed for the phone and dialed a number. “Nikolas? Yeah, I need to see you tomorrow. Uh, huh. Bright and early, it’s an emergency. What kind? I just told Jason I loved him and then I made him leave. I’m not going to chase after him, Nikolas. Just…just meet me at Kelly’s tomorrow at eight, okay? We’ll even discuss the job. Okay, I’ll see you then.”

—-

Skye strode straight past Jax and towards the bedroom. She mumbled a quick hello to Jerry and was halfway through the bedroom doorway when Jax caught up to her.

“Skye, we need to talk.”

Skye whirled around and glared at him. “No, we don’t.”

“Yes, we do,” Jax replied, ignoring the jackhammer currently drilling away at his brain. Next time, he’d listen to Elizabeth and just say no to the Scotch.

Skye crossed her arms and intensified her glare. “Okay, fine. Talk.”

“I love you,” Jax began. “And I love Brenda.”

“Bad move,” Jerry grumbled.

“Quiet you,” Jax threw over his shoulder. “I didn’t say that right–”

The bedroom door slammed in his face. “Shit,” he muttered.

“Smashing job, little brother,” Jerry said. He stood. “I’m going to head back to the hotel.”

“I hate you,” Jax muttered.

Jerry shrugged. “I’ll get over it.” He smiled. “I was good tonight wasn’t I? Behaved myself and everything.”

Jax nodded. “Yes, you did. I was quite surprised. So, do you approve of him yet?”

Jerry frowned. “Hell, no. My little girl will not end up with a thug.”

“Your little girl is twenty-one years old and was in love with Spawn a lot longer than she’s been your daughter,” Jax reminded him. He headed for the kitchen and Jerry followed him.

“Doesn’t change that he’s not good enough for her,” Jerry replied watching Jax take a few aspirin, washing it down with a glass of water.

“You’re her father, no one’s ever going to be good enough for her,” Jax replied. He made a face. “They ought to make flavored aspirin.”

“They do,” Jerry said. “It’s liquid.”

“That’s for children,” Jax replied.

Jerry shrugged. “So, I take a few extra tablespoons. No harm done.”

Jax just shook his head. “He loves her.”

“Yeah, I caught that. Three years. She was just eighteen. I should kill him.”

“She was a mature eighteen.”

“How the hell would you know?” Jerry demanded.

Jax turned around to face him. “You don’t live in a town as long as I have without learning something about everyone here. She’s a tough girl. Survived her boyfriend dying in a fire, a few other unspeakable things we won’t discuss and she also took the Cassadines head-on. She was in a car accident this spring. I read about that in the paper. She was kidnapped and she’s in love with Morgan. You’d have to be tough to be able to do all that.”

Jerry narrowed his eyes. “How the hell do you know all of that?”

Jax shrugged. “After you told me she was part of the family, I had someone to do a report. A lot of it’s on public record.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, she loves him, too. As you can tell, she’s already forgiven him. I predict another week until she takes him back.”

“Not if I can bloody help it,” Jerry muttered darkly.

“Jerry, don’t do anything stupid,” Jax warned. “You’ve only been her father for three days–I don’t think she’d hesitate to drop kick you.”

“Well, between you and me, you’re already doing enough stupid things,” Jerry said. “Telling Skye you love her and then in the next breath, saying you love Brenda, too. Moron.”

Jax frowned. “Well, it’s true. I love Skye and Brenda. I’m in love with Skye, but not with Brenda. She’s part of my past…I’m just working on putting her there.”

“If you cut out the first line, you might have a shot,” Jerry said.

“You think?”

“Stranger things have happened.”

—-

Nikolas frowned. “So let me get this straight,” he began stirring his coffee. “Jerry had an interrogation session with Jason where he actually answered questions about you.”

“Yep,” Elizabeth replied, buttering her toast. “Asked him how long he knew me, if he was in love with me and how long. To which Jason said three years.”

Nikolas’s frowned deepened. “So he was in love with you when he was staying with you that Christmas?”

“According to him,” Elizabeth replied. She took a bite of her toast and chewed it thoughtfully. “I can’t believe I told him I loved him.”

“Well, it was only fair,” Nikolas replied. “He’s said it to you.”

“Yeah, but it was easier to push him away when he didn’t know the feeling was returned.”

Nikolas leaned forward. “Elizabeth.”

She wrinkled her nose. “What?”

“Jason might be a little slow, but he’s not dumb. He had to know you had some feelings for him.”

She shook her head. “Not the way I left it,” she replied. “I told you about the conversation we had the night I left the penthouse. I made it clear that there wasn’t a chance for us.”

“Yeah, well, you and I know that’s a lie,” Nikolas said. “You know you’re gonna take him back.”

“You know, I count on you to remind me why I don’t go back to him,” Elizabeth said. “You’re supposed to tell me what a thug he is, that he’s no good for me and all that fun stuff. What am I supposed to do when you take his side?” she complained.

He sighed. “Look, I’m not going to lie. I don’t think Jason’s good enough for you–I think you deserve better. I think you could do better–but I also know you love him. And that he apparently loves you, too. I know you don’t want to get hurt again, but honestly, Elizabeth, how much of life can you have if you constantly shield yourself because of that?”

She sat back in her chair. “I hate you.”

He smirked. “Why?”

“Because you’re on his side.”

“I am not on Jason’s side,” Nikolas said, grimacing. “May someone strike me dead if the day ever comes when I am. I’m on your side, Elizabeth. I’ve spent far too much of our friendship worrying about what Lucky wanted or Gia wanted…and not enough about you. I didn’t see the way you and Lucky had grown apart…I didn’t see that you wanted out…I didn’t see anything during the accident except that Gia couldn’t be blamed whether or not she did it. Those were my mistakes and I am sorry. But I’m never going to sacrifice our friendship for something that’s not what you want. If you don’t want to be with Jason, that’s fine. In fact, that’s great news. But if you do, don’t decide that it’s not worth the pain. Because love…the real thing and not the stuff in movies…real love is always going to be painful. Because it’s real and you can’t fake it. You have to give everything in you to make it work and when you do that, you’re taking a risk. Elizabeth, love is always worth the pain.”

She sniffled a little. “I really hate you now.”

He put a hand over her hand on the table. “You know I’m only telling you what you already know.”

“Yeah,” Elizabeth sighed. “I know.” She looked up. “So if I decide it is worth it…do I have to do it today?”

He shook his head. “No, you don’t.”

She gave him a little smile. “Good.” She looked at her watch. “Crap.”

“What?”

“Jax and Jerry are going to meet their parents’ plane and I was gonna go with them.” She yanked her coat off the back of the chair. “Can you give me a ride to the lakehouse so I don’t miss them?”

“Sure,” Nikolas replied, standing and tossing some bills on the table.

—-

The ride to the Port Charles Airport was silent as the two brothers sat in the front seat and Elizabeth leaned her head against the window. She was hearing Nikolas’s words in her head over and over again. She hated that he was right–she absolutely despised him right now. How dare he go and change her mind about protecting herself from Jason? Some friend he was. He should have told her what she wanted to hear. Would have made her life a lot easier.

“Everything all right, princess?” Jerry asked.

She frowned. When had he started calling her that? “Everything’s fine,” she replied quietly.

Jerry twisted in his seat. “Did Morgan do something?”

She bit her lip and shook her head. “No. He didn’t.”

“Jerry–” Jax said, his tone warning him.

“Because I’ve got this shotgun back at the hotel–”

“He didn’t do anything,” Elizabeth cut in. “I’m just…I’m not having a good day.”

Jerry seemed to take the hint and turned back in his seat. His parents would snap Elizabeth out of her funk, he was sure of it.

This entry is part 12 of 16 in the Spinning on an Axis

Elizabeth shifted nervously and bit her lip as she stared out the window of the airport. Their plane had been delayed and as a result, she, Jax and Jerry were waiting in a private lounge. She’d never really understood the perks of having money until she’d moved to Port Charles and saw the way the Quartermaines, the Cassadines, Sonny and now Jax used their fortunes.

She just couldn’t believe that she was standing here, waiting to meet her grandparents. The whole thing seemed surreal. She hadn’t even talked to Audrey about this yet–had been worried that she’d cut her even further out of her life when she found out that Elizabeth wasn’t a Webber. Audrey already pretended she didn’t exist–she could only imagine the cold shoulder she’d get when she wasn’t family. Audrey had never fully understood Elizabeth’s choices–why she’d hang out with Jason, even after the kidnapping or why she’d be friendly to Sonny–but apparently the most unforgivable had been her moving in with Jason all those months ago. She and Audrey had had a huge blow out and the older woman hadn’t spoken to her since. Elizabeth couldn’t very well explain that she’d been shot at and was staying there for her own protection. Somehow she figured that wouldn’t go over all that well.

Now, she had a whole new family. A father who actually cared about her–even if he was going a little overboard. An uncle she could actually relate to, rather than Rick Webber who’d been in town for the entire summer without hardly a word to his niece. An aunt who took her shopping. And grandparents who everyone told her she was absolutely going to love. It was a lot to take in and she still wasn’t sure how she was feeling about everything else. About how being the granddaughter of a former mobster, her mother being killed in a mob hit, knowing her aunt had almost married Luke Spencer and that Laura Spencer had been prosecuted for her uncle’s murder. It was strange how things in Port Charles always seemed to come full circle.

And then there was Jason. Her early morning conversation with Nikolas not withstanding, she was still reluctant to give him another chance. She sensed that he wanted one and truth be told, she wanted to be with despite his life. She’d always felt that way–but his life had never directly affected the way he’d treated her before. But Nikolas was right. She could either spend the rest of her life alone with only Nikolas to call a friend or she could take another chance–try again with love. She’d been burned badly by Lucky–one could hardly argue that. But if she never let it go–if she never fully forgave both Lucky and Jason for their mistakes–she might end up regretting it. And so what if it didn’t work out with Jason? She’d still be all right. Hurt and upset, of course. But she was strong–she’d always survived before.

Bolstered by the new decision, Elizabeth took a deep breath and turned around to face the men. “So, Jax, did you talk to Skye last night?”

Jax frowned and Jerry smirked. “Yes and he did a smashing job of it, didn’t you little brother?”

“Shut up,” Jax muttered.

Elizabeth sighed and took a seat next to him. “You told her you loved Brenda didn’t you?”

“Probably a mistake,” Jax said. “Hindsight’s a bitch.”

“When you’re trying to tell the person you love that they’re the one you want to be with, never…and I mean never…tell them you love the other person. Not a good thing.”

“You did that?” Jax asked.

She nodded. “Every single time I opened my mouth to tell Jason what he meant to me, ‘I love Lucky’ came out instead. I just wanted to beat myself every time–but it was like it was an automatic response. Like if I didn’t say it out loud, I was denying that it was true. But by saying it out loud, I was only hurting Jason more.”

Jerry snorted and Elizabeth threw him a dirty look. “Sorry, princess.”

“Listen, sit down with Skye and tell her that you love her. That you know you’ve made mistakes but you’re willing to do whatever it takes for her to forgive you. Make it clear that she’s want you want to be with and make sure she understands and believes that before you open your mouth about you still feel about Brenda, and make sure to tell her that while you love her, you’re not in love with her anymore. I think if you do it that order, you’ll be all right.”

“So, let me get this straight,” Jax said. “I apologize, I tell her I love her and that I want another chance.”

“Right.”

“And you think Skye would forgive me.”

“I’d think you’d have a shot.”

“Would you forgive me?”

“Yeah. Because I’ve been there.”

“Uh huh. But you won’t forgive Morgan.”

Jerry punched him in the arm. “Hey, we’ve discussed this. You’re not supposed to encourage her!”

“Jerry,” Elizabeth warned. He at least looked sheepish. “We’re not going to have the discussion about why I’m not going to kick Jason out of my life again are we?”

“No,” Jerry grumbled.

Elizabeth smiled. “Good.” She turned back to Jax. “Jason is a completely different situation.”

“He made a mistake, he’s apologized, he told you he loved you and I think he definitely wants you back. This is a completely different situation?” Jax asked, raising her eyebrows.

“You know what?” Elizabeth asked. “First Nikolas and now you. At least I know Carly Corinthos will always be on my side. She’d never up and tell me to get back with him.” She frowned. “Not that I was technically with him, but that’s beyond the point.”

“Nikolas told you to forgive Spawn?” Jax asked, surprised.

“Yeah, and I’ve been counting on him to remind me why I don’t,” Elizabeth muttered. “Nikolas was always good for a ‘Jason is a thug’ or ‘You deserve more.’ He says that’s still true for him, but he knows how I feel and that’s what matters.”

“He’s right,” Jax said.

“Stop encouraging her!” Jerry hissed.

“Jerry.”

“Sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Elizabeth said, stubbornly.

“Why not?” Jax asked.

“Because it just doesn’t.”

“I think it does.”

“I think you ought to but out.”

“I think–”

“I think Mum and Dad’s plane has arrived,” Jerry cut in.

—–

John and Jane Jacks were the first people off the plane. They rushed right through the crowds towards their sons.

After they’d hugged them, they turned to the nervous brunette beside them. “This must be Elizabeth!” Jane decided.

“Hi,” Elizabeth said, trying to sound a lot more confident than she was.

“I finally have a granddaughter!” Jane said, grinning widely. She pulled Elizabeth into a tight hug and she was then hugged by John. “You can call me pretty much anything you want,” Jane said.

Elizabeth took a deep breath. “What would you prefer?” she asked.

Jane and John exchanged glances. “Grandma and Grandpa sound all right to me,” John said. “Welcome to the family, Elizabeth. I hope our sons haven’t frightened you too much.”

“Not at all,” Elizabeth said. She couldn’t help the wide grin that covered her face. They were such happy people and it was clear that they adored their sons. She wondered what it must have been like to grow up in a family like that.

“We better get your bags,” Jax said. “We can get acquainted at the house.”

“Oh, darling where’s Skye?” Jane asked.

“Uh…” Jax hesitated.

“She had a meeting,” Elizabeth supplied. “She hoped she’d be back in time, but it ran late. She might be out the house waiting.”

“Well, by all means, let’s go!” John said, leading the way towards the baggage claim.

Jerry put an arm around his daughter as the four of them followed John. “What do you think? Not bad, eh?”

“No,” Elizabeth said, smiling up at him. “Not bad at all.”

—–

Once they were settled at the hotel, they headed over to the lake house for a late lunch. Skye hadn’t arrived home yet.

“So, Elizabeth, tell us about yourself,” Jane said, sipping her iced tea.

“Well, I’m just finished a semester at PCU,” Elizabeth said, fidgeting. “I’m an Art major.”

“Art?” John said, raising his eyebrows. “You paint?”

“I dabble,” Elizabeth said.

“Don’t let her fool you,” Jerry said. “She’s wonderful.”

“You’ve been in my studio for about eight seconds,” Elizabeth said.

“I know talent,” Jerry boasted.

“I, on the other hand,” Jax said, “have T-shirt somewhere that Elizabeth designed for the Nurse’s Ball. I’ll have to dig it out.”

“Oh my God, you still have that?” Elizabeth groaned.

Jane smiled. “See, he was a proud uncle before he knew any better.” She turned back to her granddaughter. “Now, anyone special?”

Jerry snorted and Elizabeth thwacked him. “Hey!”

“I take it Jerry doesn’t approve of him,” John said, amused.

“Damn right,” Jerry grumbled, rubbing his arm.

“Jason’s just a good friend,” Elizabeth said, flushing.

Jane nodded. “Uh huh. I understand.”

“You might have met him,” Jax said. “Jason Morgan, Sonny Corinthos’ right hand man.”

“Ah,” John said. “The quiet fellow.”

“He’s very good looking,” Jane said. “You’re a lucky girl.”

“We’re not together,” Elizabeth protested.

“He’s a lucky thug,” Jerry corrected.

“Jerry!”

“Sorry, princess.”

“You keep saying that–stop calling him a thug,” Elizabeth said, irritated. “Who got arrested on his wedding day?”

“How long are you going to keep bringing that up?”

“Until you leave Jason alone. That means no more name calling, no more interrogation and I don’t want you answering any doors with shotguns, are we clear?”

“Shotguns, eh? Hadn’t thought of that.”

“Jerry!”

“As you can see, Morgan has endeared himself to Jerry,” Jax said, grinning. “He’s not all that bad.”

Elizabeth gaped at him. “Are you serious?”

Jax shrugged. “You could do worse.”

Jane smiled. “Jerry interrogated him? That poor boy.”

“Boy?” Jerry snorted again. “He’s twenty-eight, Mum.”

“Ah, a mature man.”

“Yes, a mature man who at the age of twenty-five fell in love with an eighteen year old.”

“Jerry,” Elizabeth protested. “Leave him alone.”

“You know, your father and I marred when he was thirty and I was nineteen,” Jane reminded her sons. “Age means nothing.”

“Ha!” Elizabeth crowed.

“Age means plenty when you were barely legal,” Jerry grumbled.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Jerry. You’re being ridiculous. Just because he felt a certain way–it means nothing. I was twenty before anything happened.”

“Oh, please don’t. I can’t take details,” Jerry groaned.

“So, is he still just a friend?” Jane asked, her eyes twinkling.

Elizabeth flushed and shifted uncomfortably. “Okay, so he’s a bit more than just a friend.”

“You’re in love with him,” Jane deduced.

“Darling,” John said, putting a hand on her arm. “I can see where Jerry gets it from.”

“Mum, don’t encourage her,” Jerry said.

“Have you seen Bobbie?” Jane asked, swiftly changing topics.

“By all means, let’s discuss the thug. What sort of coffee does he drink?” Jerry asked, ignoring his mother.

“Jerry!”

“Sorry, princess.”

—–

Sonny hung up the phone and turned to Jason. “That was Roy.”

“Did you tell him what’s going on?” Jason asked.

“I told him that we needed him to fly in briefly,” Sonny replied. He made a mark on some receipts and flipped a few pages. “Told him it was important.”

Jason raised an eyebrow. “You consider it important?”

“Yeah. Don’t you?” Sonny asked, glancing at him.

“I know I do. I just didn’t you did.”

Sonny closed the folder. “Look, I promised Elizabeth that I’d help her get answers. If DiLucca can provide them, than good. If not, we’ll try another angle. I feel bad about how everything went down this fall–and I’m just trying to make it right.”

“You can’t fix this,” Jason said.

“You’re not doing such a great job of doing it either,” Sonny reminded him.

“I’ve made some progress,” Jason said, slightly defensive.

“Yes, yes you have,” Sonny agreed. “I’m just trying to help Elizabeth in anyway she needs.” Shrugging, he continued, “I just can’t believe she’s Frank’s granddaughter. Kind of puts a spin on things.”

“What things?” Jason asked.

“Kind of difficult to push her away because of danger only to find out she was born into it, huh? With Jerry as her father and Frank for a grandfather? She was bound to get into trouble.” Changing tack, he said, “Do you want me to give her a call and tell her about Roy or do you want to stop by tonight and do it?”

“Um, actually, why don’t you call her?” Jason suggested. “We had… a slight disagreement last night.”

Sonny shook his head. “All right, I’ll do it.”

This entry is part 13 of 16 in the Spinning on an Axis

Elizabeth was the midst of pulling on her shoes while trying to brush her hair at the same time when someone knocked on her door. Swearing, she unbolted the door and pulled it open.

“Sonny.”

“Is this a bad time?” Sonny asked.

“Actually, I’m heading to lunch with my grandmother and Skye,” Elizabeth replied. She hoisted her feet and leaned it against the table so she could tie the laces. “What can I do for you?”

“Roy called,” Sonny said. “He’s flying in and he’ll be here tomorrow. How do you want to handle it?”

“I’ve talked it over with Jerry and he agrees I’ll get more answers out of him since Roy likes me,” Elizabeth replied. She pulled the brush through her thick brown hair and then slipped a headband in her hair. “So, I want to talk to him. Do you want to be there?”

“Actually, if it’s all right with you, I’d like Jason to be there.”

Elizabeth paused for a second while putting a few things in her purse. She straightened and turned to him. She eyed him warily. “Is there an ulterior motive?”

“Ulterior motive? Me?” Sonny grinned. “What makes you say that?”

“Sonny, you’re still not off the hook for lying to me, so you’d better knock off the matchmaking thing. I know you think by getting us back together, you think you’re making it all better. Well, forget it. I’m not going back to that–so you’d better find another way to soothe your guilty conscience.”

“It would be different this time,” Sonny said, feeling the need to plead Jason’s case. “It was my fault this time–not Jason’s. I asked him to lie–I gave the order.”

“Uh huh,” Elizabeth murmured. She tossed a pack of gum in her purse and pulled her keys out. “So you told him not to call me and not to come home like ever? You told him to let me worry and stay up at nights because I hadn’t heard from him? That was you.”

Sonny shifted. “Okay…so maybe it wasn’t entirely my fault. Look–you got to understand. Jason…he’s a good person but he’s not…he’s not real good with relationships. Robin and Carly. That’s it.”

Elizabeth grimaced. “Sonny, do not try and explain Jason to me–I’m not stupid. I know him better than you ever will. He did what he did because he didn’t know any better. That’s what you say. Well, it’s bullshit. Jason knew I was worried–he knew I was staying up–I told him as much. But he still never called. He still didn’t come home. It didn’t matter to him. I didn’t matter to him.”

“No, what I’m trying to say is Jason…it’s been a long time since he had someone to come home to–someone who worried about him before me. Carly loves him–she worries about him, but she worries about me first. You don’t–you’re all about Jason and he didn’t know how to handle that.”

“Sonny,” Elizabeth said, her voice nearly desperate. “Stop this. Stop trying to make things better.”

“I can’t help it, Elizabeth,” Sonny insisted. “Because I’ve been a rotten friend to him and all he ever did was follow my wishes. This is my fault. I wasn’t there when he needed me and I wouldn’t be any kind of friend if I didn’t try to make this better.” Sonny paused and studied her. “You’re scared.”

“I think you should leave,” Elizabeth said. She pulled her leather jacket on and zipped it halfway.

“You think I’m gonna say something to convince you to go back,” Sonny realized. “Elizabeth–it’s a risk–”

“Do not…do not lecture me on risks,” Elizabeth said angrily. “Don’t you dare! I know relationships are a risk–I know that love is a risk and I know that choosing to love Jason is a risk–I know that being with him is a risk I can’t take. Because when it comes down to it, Sonny…you come first. He is your enforcer…first, last and always. That’s all he knows how to be. He doesn’t want to change–he likes being that way and I can’t survive like that.” She put her purse over her shoulder and held the door open. “Jason can be present for the meeting with Roy. That’s fine. I want to be friends with him–I want to keep that if it’s possible. So, why don’t you set the meeting up–I’ll go whenever. It doesn’t matter to me.”

Sonny’s shoulders slumped. “For what it’s worth, Elizabeth, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah?” Elizabeth smirked. “Me, too.”

—-

“Skye, darling, why don’t let you him explain?” Jane asked. “I know you’re hurting but–”

“I don’t want to,” Skye said, stubbornly. “Because every time I let him, he starts talking about how much he loves Brenda. And it’s just ridiculous. I shouldn’t have to listen to that.”

“You’re right,” Jane agreed. “You shouldn’t. I love my son, but he can be an idiot.”

“Who can be an idiot?” Elizabeth asked, slipping into a chair. “Sorry, I’m late.”

“Not a problem,” Skye said. “Jax can be idiot.”

Elizabeth nodded. “All men are idiots,” she said.

“Damn right,” Skye agreed.

“Oh, dear, what happened?” Jane asked, concerned.

Elizabeth waved the waiter over. “I need a Gin and Tonic.” She looked to Skye. “I’m sorry–but I need something.”

Skye nodded. “It’s fine.” The waiter left and Skye leaned forward, interested. “What happened?”

“I hate men,” Elizabeth grumbled reaching into the bread basket in the middle of the table. “They think they know everything.”

Jane and Skye exchanged looks. “Is this about Jason?” Jane asked.

“Isn’t it always?” Elizabeth muttered. She looked up. “I can’t forgive him–why can’t people just understand that? I was hurt really badly and I can’t–no I refuse to put myself through it again. And why the hell should I?”

“Exactly,” Skye agreed.

“Forgive him for what, dear?” Jane asked.

“Lying to me, letting me worry myself silly,” Elizabeth replied. “Sonny says it’s because Jason isn’t used to someone caring about him like me. He’s probably right. But when did his insecurities my problems?”

“The second you fell in love with him,” Jane said. “Perhaps he doesn’t think he’s worthy of your love.”

“Probably not,” Elizabeth replied. She tore the bread in half and started to butter it. “But how the hell do you convince someone that they are?”

Skye raised an eyebrow. “Why, do you want to?”

Elizabeth glared at the redhead. “No.”

“Liar.”

“You know, Jax loves you.”

“Ah, the change of topics,” Skye murmured. “I’m sure he thinks so.”

“Look, I’m probably overstepping my boundaries–thank you,” Elizabeth said as the waiter placed her drink down. She took a big swallow. “Anyway, Jax is an idiot–men never know how to express themselves without sounding like asses. He loves you and he loves Brenda. The difference? He’s in love with you and not with Brenda.”

Skye’s featured softened. “Do you really think so?”

Elizabeth nodded. “Yes. He’s trying hard to put Brenda in his past. He says she belongs there, but it’s hard to put her there. I know how that feels–when you’re torn between your past and your future. It’s a difficult thing to do and you’re so lucky Skye, because Jax knows what he wants. He wants you–I lost my chance. Don’t lose yours.”

Skye sighed. “You’re probably right.”

“That’s my girl,” Jane said, patting Skye’s hand. “So you’ll let him explain.”

“Yeah,” Skye grumbled.

“Now, darling, back to you,” Jane said, turning back to Elizabeth.

“There’s nothing to get back to,” Elizabeth argued. “Jason and me…we’re done.”

“Who are you trying to convince, us or yourself?” Jane asked.

“You,” Elizabeth said, uncertainly. “I think.”

Jane smiled. “You love him very much don’t you?”

“How can you tell?” Elizabeth asked.

“It’s only written all over your face,” Skye said. “Even I’m not that self-absorbed.”

“So what if I do?” Elizabeth asked, leaning forward. “Love–it’s not enough.”

“No,” Jane agreed. “It’s not.”

Pleased, Elizabeth sat back and smiled.

“But it’s a start,” Jane finished.

“Where’s Nikolas when I need him?” Elizabeth asked. “Even Jerry would help. They’re always good for a Jason’s a thug or whatever.”

“I don’t know what you see in Jason,” Skye said, “but I’m going to give you your own advice. Don’t lose your chance. Don’t throw away your happily ever after.”

“Where’s the cynical Skye who was on my side?” Elizabeth asked.

“Look, you love him right? He loves you. He wants to make it work and you know you do, too. So, you’ve been hurt. Deal with it and grow up. Life is full of pain–you can avoid Jason and believe me, you’ll have something else thrown at you. It’ll probably be worse than this. At least with Jason, you’ll get some good memories.”

“You people and your making sense. You all suck.”

—-

Skye closed the lakehouse door behind her and crossed her arms. “Jax, we need to talk.”

He sprang up off the couch. “You’re gonna let me explain?”

“I’m gonna let you try,” Skye corrected.

Jax ran a hand through his hair. “I love you–I want you to know that. You’re my wife and you’re who I want to be with. And, it’s true. I do love Brenda–but I’m not in love with her anymore. She’s part of my past–it’s just hard keeping her there.”

Skye took a deep breath. “So, you expect me to sit back and let you figure this out? And hey, if you need to kiss her while you’re at it, sure why not?”

“No, that was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”

Skye shook her head. “You can’t promise me that and I don’t want you to either. I don’t like people making promises they can’t keep.” She looked down at the ground. “We’re gonna take this one day at a time. I’m a selfish person–but you knew that. I know she’s dying and I know you want to be with her and believe me, I even understand that.”

“Skye–”

“I’m not saying this will be easy,” Skye cut in. “Because marriages aren’t. But I don’t want to give up on this. Okay?”

“Okay,” Jax agreed. He sat back down on the couch and patted the seat next to her. “So, what did you do today?”

Skye smiled and sat next to her husband. “I had lunch with your mother and Elizabeth.”

“Ah, and how is my lovely niece?” Jax asked, putting his arm around Skye. She leaned into the embrace.

“She is quite possibly just as confused as I used to be,” Skye replied. “She’s one of those people who can help others with their love lives but is useless when it comes to her own. She convinced me to let you talk.”

“She hasn’t taken Spawn back?” Jax said, surprised.

“Not yet,” Skye said. “I think your mother might have convinced her.”

“Oh, lord, don’t let Jerry hear about that.”

“Doesn’t Jerry want her to be happy?” Skye asked.

“Of course. He’s new to this father thing and his instincts are screaming not to trust him. He’s probably right but Liz is the only person who can make that call.”

“She’ll take him back,” Skye said. “It’s only a matter of when.”

—-

Roy DiLucca entered Sonny’s penthouse later that night. “What was so important?” he asked.

Sonny studied him. “Do you remember Frank Smith?”

Roy nodded. “Yeah. Why?”

“Do you remember Jerry Jacks?” Jason asked.

Roy frowned. “What does one have to do with the other?”

“Roy.”

“Sonny, I don’t know what you want me to say–”

“The truth, Roy,” Jason cut in. “We know about Jerry, Frank, Beth Robinson and her daughter. What we want to know is your role in it.”

“That’s all ancient history,” Roy said. “I don’t even know what happened to the kid–”

“I do,” Jason replied. “She’s Elizabeth Webber and she wants answers.” He smirked. “And you’re gonna give them to her.”

Roy shifted. “I don’t know–”

“You’re going to answer her questions,” Jason repeated. “Truthfully.”

“Is that clear, Roy?” Sonny asked.

Roy looked away. “Yeah. Crystal.”

This entry is part 14 of 16 in the Spinning on an Axis

Elizabeth entered Jason’s penthouse the next morning a little apprehensively. “Thanks for letting us have the meeting here,” she said.

Jason closed the door. “It’s no problem.”

“I just didn’t feel comfortable doing it a public place, that’s all,” Elizabeth replied. She pulled her coat and gloves and set them on the desk. “I have something to ask you.”

“What?” Jason asked.

“Well, two things,” Elizabeth amended. “Could you stay here, while I’m with Roy? I don’t know if Sonny already asked you, but even if he did, I wanted to do it myself.”

“Sure,” Jason agreed.

“And…um…” she hesitated and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “We’re kinda having a family dinner tonight…at the lakehouse…you know since my grandparents are in town and Jax and Skye are speaking again…and my grandparents wanted to meet you…”

“They do?” Jason asked, warily.

She smiled. “Yeah. My grandmother practically begged me to last night when she called. So, would you come…tonight…if you’re not doing something else?”

“You want me to meet your family?” Jason asked.

She frowned. “That sounds so stupid, doesn’t it? Never mind. I mean, I understand–”

“Elizabeth–” Jason cut in, a small smile on his face. “I’ll come.”

“Thanks,” Elizabeth said.

“I’m glad…” Jason stopped. “I’m glad you have a family.”

“Even if that family includes Jerry?” Elizabeth asked. “Because he’s going to be part of my life.”

“Even if that family includes Jerry,” Jason said, grudgingly.

“Good,” Elizabeth replied. They were spared from further conversation when someone knocked on the door. “That must be him.”

Jason opened the door. “Roy.”

Roy entered the room. “Hello, Elizabeth.”

“Hi,” Elizabeth greeted, coming face to face with the man who’d sold her and defused a bomb in her studio. Strange coincidence.

Roy turned as Jason closed the door. “You’re going to stay?” he asked. “What for?”

“He’s going to keep you honest,” Elizabeth replied. She raised an eyebrow. “So you’d better tell me the truth.”

Roy looked at Jason another moment and then turned back to Elizabeth. “Man, you look like Beth. It’s eerie.”

Elizabeth couldn’t help the smile that spread on her face. She loved hearing about how much she looked like her mother–she didn’t think she’d ever get tired of it. “Thanks.”

“So, what exactly do you want to know?” Roy asked.

“What happened after Jerry left me with you?” Elizabeth asked.

Roy shifted. “Frank loved Beth–more than anything. He was heartbroken when she died. So, knowing if Jerry would take off to find her killer, he set up some leads that would put him on the wrong track and keep him out of town long enough for Frank to get you.”

“So, Jerry was right,” Elizabeth said. She frowned. “Now, why did you give me to him? And why didn’t Frank keep me?”

“Well, I had a little bit of a gambling problem,” Roy replied. “Not to mention my connections with the mob were getting dangerous. It was around this time that me and Luke were given the Senator job. When Frank offered to take you off my hands and get rid of my debt, I thought it sounded good. I knew he’d take good care of you.”

“How were you able to keep me from Luke and Bobbie?” Elizabeth asked.

Roy shrugged. “It wasn’t as difficult as it looked. Bobbie and Luke didn’t come over my place a lot–I hired baby-sitters. I only had you for about a week before the deal went through. I’m sorry, Elizabeth.”

“Apologies don’t mean very much to me,” Elizabeth said, folding her arms across her chest. “So why didn’t Frank keep me after going to all that trouble to get me?”

“I don’t know for sure–but I think the men who had your mother killed made another threat–on your life. I think Frank was worried that he couldn’t keep you safe. You lived with him for about two years. I was gone by this time, so I don’t know any more than that.”

“Is there anyone who could?” Elizabeth asked.

Roy shifted. “Honestly? His other daughter, Jennifer might know something. She lives in Atlantic City. You could go see her.”

Elizabeth flicked her eyes to Jason who’d kept silent, studying Roy. “Is he telling the truth?”

Jason nodded. “Yeah. He is.”

Roy glared at him. “Why the hell would I lie? It’s ancient history now. If Jerry Jacks hadn’t shown up telling her the truth, she never would have known.”

“That’s refreshing to hear,” Elizabeth replied, wryly. “Is there anything else I should know?”

Roy shook his head. “Nothing that I can think of.”

“You can go.”

Jason opened the door then. Roy looked at Elizabeth for another minute before disappearing out the door. Jason closed the door and turned to her. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Except we don’t know anything more,” Elizabeth said, irritated.

“Well, there is Jennifer Smith,” Jason said. “You could go see her.”

“I’ll let Jerry decide,” Elizabeth replied. “Thanks for staying.” She pulled her gloves on and then her jacket. “You still coming tonight?”

“Yeah. What time?” Jason asked.

“Eight,” Elizabeth replied.

—-

Later that night, the Jacks family was milling about the living room of the lake house. Jane and John were speaking with Jax and Skye while Jerry and Elizabeth were discussing the day’s events near the door.

“Pity he didn’t know more,” Jerry replied. “This Smith girl, do you want to see her?”

“You know what?” Elizabeth said. “I think that it doesn’t matter why I ended up with the Webbers. I mean, if you want to talk to her, that’s fine. But it doesn’t matter to me.”

Jerry nodded and sipped his drink. “All right then. What do you say we leave it until after the holidays?”

Elizabeth smiled. “That’s right. Christmas is next week.”

“Yes and I have some apartment hunting to do,” Jerry reminded her. “So, where’s the thug?”

“Jerry,” Elizabeth warned.

“What?” Jerry asked innocently. Before he could say any more, Jane approached.

“Darling, where’s your young man?” she asked. “I can’t wait to see him.”

Elizabeth flicked her eyes to the door. “He’s late.”

“See, darling, he’s a thug,” Jerry said, putting an arm around her shoulders.

“Jerry, that’s not any help,” Jane scolded.

“It’s okay, I’m getting used to it,” Elizabeth said, glaring at Jerry.

“Jerry,” Jane said, kindly. “Get lost.”

“Mum!” Jerry said, shocked.

“Go talk to your brother.” Jerry rolled his eyes and moved away. Jane just smiled. “Don’t mind your father, dear. He’s still new to this. The last time he saw you…you were a little baby and I think he still thinks of you that way.”

“I don’t really mind,” Elizabeth said. “I know that he only does it because he cares. It’s nice.”

Jane smiled. “He’s a little strange, but he’s a good boy.” She looked at her granddaughter. “Now, have you made any decisions about Jason?”

Elizabeth shifted. “Yeah.”

She smiled. “And?”

“And,” Elizabeth said slowly, “I think I’m going to give it a shot.” She glared at the door. “If he ever gets here.”

As if on cue, a loud knock came at the door. She grinned and walked the few steps to pull open the glass door. “You made it.”

“Yeah,” Jason said, stepping inside. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

“It’s fine,” Elizabeth insisted.

“Hey, Spawn!” Jax greeted from across the room. Skye smacked him in the shoulder, but Jerry started cracking up.

“Hey, Jax,” Jason greeted. He looked down at Elizabeth. “He’s going to call me what when he’s sober, too?”

“I suppose so. Does it really bother you?” Elizabeth asked. “Cause I can smack him around a little, he’ll listen.”

“No, no it’s fine,” Jason replied.

“This must be Jason!” Jane said, approaching them when she couldn’t wait any longer.

“Yeah,” Elizabeth replied. “Jason, this is my grandmother, Lady Jane Jacks, and… Grandma,” Elizabeth said, still hesitating over the name, “this is Jason Morgan.”

“You’re just as cute as I remember!” Jane said, clearly delighted. Elizabeth flushed and Jason shifted his feet a little. “You take good care of our Elizabeth, or you won’t be just answering to her father, you hear?”

“Grandma-” Elizabeth began.

“If she’ll let me,” Jason said. Elizabeth stopped and looked at him. What was it about her family that had him admitting things that he wouldn’t tell her?

“Oh, I think she will,” Jane said, smiling. Elizabeth flushed more deeply

“Grandma!” Elizabeth exclaimed, mortified.

Jane patted Jason’s arm. “I’ll leave the two of you alone, but John might be making his way over soon. And watch out for Jerry–” she broke off and frowned over Jason’s shoulder. “Jerry, you idiot, stop cleaning that shotgun this instant!”

Elizabeth watched her grandmother cross the room to Jerry who’d pulled one of Jax’s shotguns out of the case. She rolled her eyes. “I never should have opened my mouth about shotguns,” she muttered. She looked at back at Jason. “That was slightly embarrassing.”

Jason shrugged. “Not really.”

She smirked. “Nothing embarrasses you. It’s nice a trait.”

—-

Dinner conversation was slightly stilted, but once Jax encouraged them all to call Jason Spawn–and Skye took away Jax’s Scotch, things were a little easier. Jane and John kept the conversation flowing by talking about their travels which Jason was able to contribute a little conversation too. Elizabeth was amazed to see that he was actually trying to get along with Jerry–who wasn’t making it easy. She’d had to kick her father more than once under the table.

Finally, dinner ended and Jane made an obvious comment about how dark it was and wasn’t it too bad Elizabeth had to walk home by herself? Jason offered to walk her home–and while Jerry’s offer of a ride was tempting–she accepted.

Which is why they were walking side by side through the park. She briefly wondered why he didn’t have his bike, but decided not to think about it. Though it would have been nice to have a ride–it’d been nearly two years since their last one.

They were halfway to the gates and a few feet from the spot where she’d turned him down those months ago when it began to snow.

Elizabeth stopped and looked up, smiling. “The first snow of the season.”

He stopped and gave a little half smile. “Yeah.”

She looked back at him. “You know, I used to hate snow. Because…the day I was raped, it was in the snow.” Her eyes grew a little distant. “It was so cold–you know, because my dress was ripped. I couldn’t stand being in the snow for the longest time.” Her eyes warmed a little and she continued talking. “But then Lucky and I spent the next year at that church in the snowstorm and it seemed to give the winter back to me.” She smiled. “I love winter now–I’m weird like that. What’s your favorite season?”

He shrugged. “I don’t really have one.”

“Oh, yes, you do. Come on!” She said, smiling and shoving him playfully.

“If I had to choose…” Jason stopped. “Probably spring.”

She smiled. “See, was that so hard?” She ran her fingers through her to dislodge the snowflakes in her hair. “It’s been a little over three years since that day by the boxcar, you know?”

“Yeah.” He put his hands on his hips and looked down. “I was thinking about that the other day.”

Her eyes narrowed a little. “I’ll never understand why you went there instead of a hospital. You could have died.”

Hesitating only a moment before saying it, he replied, “I think that was the point.”

Elizabeth’s eyebrows shot up and she smacked him in the arm. “Are you crazy? You went there on purpose to die? You big stupid idiot!”

“I wasn’t thinking clearly,” Jason said, defensively.

“Obviously,” Elizabeth said, putting her hands on her hips. She glared at him. “If you had you would have remembered Emily, and Michael and Monica and that you had other friends other than Sonny and Carly, like…oh, I don’t know, me?” She punched him again. “You idiot.”

“Sorry,” Jason apologized.

“No you’re not,” she replied, irritated. She sighed and looked away. “I know how you felt though…that whatever happened was too much and it would be easier if you couldn’t feel it.” She eyed him. “They slept together that night didn’t they?”

“Yeah,” Jason answered.

“I thought so,” Elizabeth murmured. She glared at him again. “Don’t do it again, you hear? The next time you get that urge to take a trip to the boxcar while bleeding, make a pit stop and see me, understood?”

“Understood,” Jason agreed. “So, about what your grandmother said?”

Suddenly uncomfortable, she began walking again and he fell into step beside. “My grandmother’s a little nutty,” Elizabeth said.

“Oh, she is?” Jason replied. Elizabeth stopped and took a deep breath. She turned to him.

“Okay…she’s not. I had a long talk with her and Skye yesterday, not to mention with Nikolas the day before and I’ve come to realize that I could continue pushing you away so I don’t get hurt again but in the end, I’d probably regret it.” She bit her lip. “So, if you want to try again…I wouldn’t object.”

“You wouldn’t object?” Jason repeated.

She glared at him. “You just can’t be content on making this easy for me can you?” she asked, irritated. “Fine. I love you and I want to be with you. Is that still true for you?”

This entry is part 15 of 16 in the Spinning on an Axis

Elizabeth was humming as she slid into her seat across from Nikolas–he’d already ordered her hot chocolate and was sipping his own coffee.

He grimaced. “Oh, no.”

She took a long swallow of her drink before turning a brilliant smile on him. “What?” she asked, brightly.

“You did it didn’t you?”

“Did what?” Elizabeth asked, tilting her head to the side.

“Don’t play dumb. You’re back with the thug.”

Elizabeth leaned forward, her eyes sparkling. “He’s not a thug.”

Nikolas groaned. “I knew it! You’re back with him.”

She smiled. “I thought you wanted me to.”

“No. I want you to be happy.” Nikolas sighed. “Does he make you happy?”

She shifted in her chair. “Well, it’s been about twelve hours, so it’s too soon to tell…but yeah…he usually does. I mean…before this whole situation…he was the only person I had to count on…and he was always there for me…so, yeah, Nikolas, he makes me happy.”

He frowned. “Okay. But if he messes up again–”

“Thank you,” she said, softly, putting a hand over his. “Thank you for supporting me. I know…I know Jason’s not your favorite person, but–”

“My opinion doesn’t matter,” Nikolas cut in. “What matters if how you feel about him.”

She sat back. “God, I’ve missed you.”

Nikolas gave her an easy smile. “I missed you, too.”

“So, any word from London?” Elizabeth asked, changing the subject. Nikolas shifted in his chair.

“She’s the same,” Nikolas said, looking down in his cup. “No change.”

“Having Luke and Lucky there hasn’t helped?” Elizabeth asked gently.

“She still doesn’t remember them.”

“I’m sorry,” Elizabeth replied.

“Yeah.” Nikolas shifted again. “Let’s talk about something else.” He leaned forward. “You gonna take the job or what?”

Elizabeth smiled. “Nikolas–”

“You know, Laura always thought of you as a daughter, Luke, too. Even after the wedding didn’t happen.”

“I know,” Elizabeth replied, “and I love them more than my own parents…” she smiled. “Well, more than the Webbers anyway. But I haven’t had the time to think about it lately with everything that’s been going on.” She paused for a moment. “Why don’t I give you my answer on Christmas Eve?”

Nikolas nodded. “That’s fine. So, how did the thug convince you?”

Elizabeth’s eyes sparkled. “You know what? I’ll bet you just say that to get a rise out of me.”

Nikolas shrugged. “I have to get my kicks one way or another. So, tell me.”

Elizabeth chewed on her lip before answering. “Actually, I had to convince him.”

“I knew it,” Nikolas groaned. “You’ve been brainwashed.”

“I have not,” Elizabeth argued. “That’s your family’s territory.”

“Right,” Nikolas said, nodding. “Jason’s would be threatening.”

“Nikolas.”

“Sorry.”

“S’okay.” Elizabeth smiled suddenly. “Nikky–”

“Oh, no.”

“You know you’re my very best friend in the whole wide world–”

“I shudder to think where this is going.”

“And I know you’re not going to London, so why don’t you spend Christmas with me and my family?”

Nikolas narrowed his eyes. “Your family.”

“Yes.”

“Just what does your family entail? The basics or an extended family.”

Elizabeth’s smile widened. “An extended.”

“No Sonny. That’s all I ask.”

“You think I’d bring Sonny to Jax’s?” Elizabeth snorted. “Please. It’s hard enough having Jason and Jerry in the same room without tempting fate even further with Jax and Sonny. No, it’s just going to be Jax, Jerry, Skye, Jason, my grandparents and hopefully you…oh, AJ and Courtney are going to be there, too.”

“AJ and Jason are going to be in the same room?” Nikolas said “And no bloodshed?”

“All guns checked at the door,” Elizabeth replied with the utmost seriousness.

“That’s not funny.”

“I think it’s hysterical.”

“I’ll bet you do.”

“I do. So will you come?”

“Yeah, but only to see how long it’ll take before AJ says something stupid and Courtney has to drag him home. It’s happened here about a dozen times and Jason wasn’t even there–I shudder to think about the two of them in the same room.”

“Hey, you said my life’s never boring,” Elizabeth reminded him.

“No, I said it never slows down.”

“Same difference.”

“Do you have any idea how much I hate that phrase?”

“No, tell me.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

Elizabeth rested her chin on her hand and sighed. “I’ve missed this.”

Nikolas smiled. “Yeah. Do you remember the days when you, me, Lucky and Emily would sit around one of these tables?”

Elizabeth’s smile turned wistful. “We were so young back then–we had no idea what we were heading up against. Emily with Zander, the three of us with the Spencer/Cassadine war…”

“You and the mob,” Nikolas said.

Elizabeth smiled. “It’s weird to think that four years ago, we were all friends–I can’t believe how quickly it all changed.”

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” Nikolas said. “When Lucky and Emily come home–and they will, maybe we can try again. I mean, we can even add Jason into the mix–” At Elizabeth’s skeptical glance, Nikolas smirked. “We can try anyway. I can’t guarantee Lucky won’t say something stupid.”

“No one can guarantee that,” Elizabeth remarked cheerfully. Nikolas laughed. “Emily’s coming home in the spring. She’s so excited.”

“Yeah, it’ll be two years she’s been away,” Nikolas said. “I’ve missed her.”

“I’ve missed her, too,” Elizabeth replied. “So, you’ll come for Christmas Day?”

Nikolas nodded. “God help me.”

—-

“No Scotch for you,” Elizabeth said to Jax firmly on Christmas Eve.

Jax stared at the bottle in Elizabeth’s hands forlornly. “Please?”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Skye said.

“Well, he is bloody hysterical when he’s drunk,” Jerry reminded her. Elizabeth set the bottle back by the bar and turned to see her father decorating the Christmas tree at the lakehouse.

“My, we’re domestic,” Elizabeth murmured, coming forward to rescue the tree from him.

“I’ve got nothing else to do.”

“Yes, he’s afraid if he leaves the house, he’ll run into Bobbie,” Jax said. “Here, give me that,” he said, reaching for some tinsel. He threw it haphazardly on the tree.

“I’ve got the cookies!” Jane announced, coming from the kitchen, John hot on her heels trying to swipe a chocolate chip cookie. “The tree looks lovely.”

Elizabeth nodded. “It doesn’t look half bad despite Jerry having done most of the work.”

“Hey!” Jerry said, clearly insulted. “I’ve been good today; I haven’t insulted your boyfriend yet. I’m on a roll.”

“Yet being the operative word,” Jax said.

“This coming from the man who greets him by calling him Spawn,” Jerry muttered, hooking a candy cane on the tree.

“I think he rather likes it,” Jax said, cheerfully. “What do you think, Liz?”

“I think he’s getting used to it,” Elizabeth replied.

“As long as Sonny stays away from me, I can deal with Jason,” Skye said. She took a decorative green Christmas ball from a box and hooked onto the tree. “I think this is the first real family Christmas I’ve had.”

“I’ve had a few good Christmases,” Elizabeth said, thinking in particular of the one before Lucky “died” and the one the year after that with Jason in her studio. “But I think this year will be the best. I’ve got everyone I need.”

“Now if Jerry will just call Bobbie,” Jane said, smacking John’s hand away from the plate of cookies.

“Mum, must we have this conversation?”

“She knows you’re in town,” Skye said. “I overheard her talking about it in Kelly’s the other day.”

“So?” Jerry asked.

“Well, you ought to give her a call,” Jane said, sternly. “John, you go near those cookies again and so help me god…”

“I can’t help it,” John said. “They look good.”

“You can wait.”

“I don’t think she’s in too much of a hurry to see him,” Elizabeth said, smiling a little. “The wedding day thing is still sticking in her mind, you know?”

“Hey, must you keep bringing that up?” Jerry said.

“Yes,” Elizabeth said, keeping her face innocent.

Jax chucked. “I love this kid.”

“Kid?” Elizabeth said, mocking insult. “I resent that.”

“I still can’t believe I agreed to invite the thug and the Cassa-creep,” Jerry muttered.

“Leave Jason and Nikolas alone,” Elizabeth threatened. “This is Christmas and so help me God, we’re going to have a good time if I have to beat you.”

“You know he’s all talk when it comes to Spawn,” Jax said, hooking a purple Christmas ball on the tree.

“I am not,” Jerry said, indignantly. “I could kick his ass if I wanted to.”

Elizabeth smirked. “Yeah, sure.”

“I could.”

“I doubt it,” Skye murmured. “You are getting on in years and Jason’s rather fit, wouldn’t you agree Elizabeth?”

“I’m your father, remember that?” Jerry asked.

“Yes and Jason’s your boyfriend,” Skye reminded her.

“Jerry, you know I love you,” Elizabeth began, struggling not to smile, “but quite honestly, yeah, I think Jason could take you.”

“Some loyalty,” Jerry grumbled.

Jason shifted. “Do I have to do this?”

Sonny shook his head, amused. “Yes. You just got back on her good side–you don’t want to mess it up.” He eyed Jason. “You did remember to buy her something for Christmas didn’t you?”

“Yes,” Jason answered, slightly defensive.

“Okay,” Sonny said. “What time are you two coming by tomorrow?”

Carly jerked her eyes up from whatever she’d been reading. “You’re bringing that twit here?” she demanded.

“Carly.”

“Sorry, Jase, but–”

“Carly.”

“Sonny, you’re supposed to be on my side–”

“Carly.”

“Fine.” Carly muttered something under her breath about husbands and the lack of respect.

“I don’t know yet,” Jason answered. “I don’t know how long this Christmas thing is gonna take.”

“I can’t believe you’re having dinner with Jax and his family,” Carly said, wrinkling her nose. “Isn’t that like going straight to hell?”

“They’re not that bad,” Jason answered. “Jax calls me Spawn–but that’s about it.”

“And Jerry leaves you alone?” Carly asked, her eyebrows raised.

“Under threat from Elizabeth.”

Carly snorted. “Yeah, there’s a threat.”

“Carly.”

“What? You don’t agree?” Carly asked. “Elizabeth isn’t a threat to anyone and y’all know it.” Carly grinned. “She probably couldn’t take me.”

“I don’t know–I think she could,” Jason answered.

Carly studied him for a second before glaring at him. “I think you’re serious. You’re already picking muffin girl over me in a fight.  Good grief, what’s next? Probably matching leather jackets.”

“Actually…” Jason trailed off.

“Don’t tell me,” Carly groaned.

“She has one–I bought for her three years ago,” Jason said, clearly enjoying this conversation.

Sonny grinned. “Anything else Carly?”

“You know, fear of finding out more about their relationship keeps me from asking.” Carly shook her head. “I know better than to bring up sex. That just gave me nightmares last time.” She grimaced. “Oh, man, now I can’t stop picturing it. Eeew…”

“Do I even want to know?” Sonny asked.

Jason shook his head. “Not in the slightest.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

This entry is part 16 of 16 in the Spinning on an Axis

Have yourself
A merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light

“Mmm…hot chocolate,” Elizabeth moaned, sipping the cocoa her grandmother had handed her. The entire family had bunked up at the lakehouse on Christmas night–Jane and John taking the guest room, Elizabeth and Skye sharing Skye’s bedroom while Jerry and Jax camped out on the couch. They were all dressed in their robes and seated around the couch on Christmas morning.

“I think Jerry should play Santa!” Jane said, clearly delighted by the idea.

“I think you’re nuts,” Jerry replied, sweetly.

“Don’t talk to your mother like that,” John said sternly.

“Yeah, come on, Jerry,” Elizabeth said, bouncing a little in her excitement.

“Well, when my daughter asks,” Jerry said. He shrugged and stood. He headed for the tree and knelt down. He pulled out a random gift–a hot pink wrapped box with a bright white bow. “To Elizabeth from Skye.” Jerry handed her the box and she eagerly ripped into it.

Elizabeth flushed as she lifted the sky blue filmy nightgown out of the box and Skye smirked. “That’s for Jason as well.”

“Skye!” Jerry said, scandalized. “My baby girl is not having sex with that thug!” He glanced at his daughter warily. “Are you?”

Elizabeth laughed. “No, Jerry. I’m not.” She grinned saucily. “Not for lack of trying.”

Jerry covered his ears with hands. “I don’t want to hear this!”

“Hand out another present already,” Skye said, impatiently. Jerry glared at her. “What?”

“Giving a girl lingerie, what are you thinking?” Jerry demanded.

“Ahem, hello, Elizabeth is twenty-one years old, Jerry,” Skye said. “She’s not a girl, she’s a woman.”

Elizabeth started to laugh hysterically. Jerry’s appalled face was just too good for words. “Oh, Jerry, you’re such a nut. I love you.”

From now on our troubles
Will be out of sight

Jerry suddenly grinned. “I love you too, princess.” He went back to the Christmas tree and fished out another present. “To Skye from Jax.” He handed his sister-in-law the small tissue-paper wrapped box.

Skye removed the green tissue paper and popped the box open. She lifted the delicate diamond tennis bracelet out of the box. “Oh, Jax, it’s absolutely gorgeous!” She beamed and leaned over to kiss her husband. She held out her wrist. “Put it on!”

Jerry handed another present to Elizabeth. “Here you go. From Jax.”

Elizabeth ripped the paper off to reveal a book and she started laughing hysterically. “Oh, Jax, you nut.”

Jax grinned. “I thought you might like that.”

“What is it, dear?” Jane asked, leaning over to peer at the title. Elizabeth held up the book. ‘Bad Boys and the Nuts Who Love Them.’

“It’s not a real book,” Jax explained. “Just a little funny thing I had made. Open it.”

Elizabeth frowned and flipped the book cover open–it was a fake book with a hollowed out inside. She lifted a small package wrapped in light purple tissue paper.

“That’s your real present,” Jax continued. Eagerly, Elizabeth pulled the paper open and her jaw dropped.

“Oh. My. God.”

“What? What?” Skye demanded. At the sight of Elizabeth’s gift, her jaw dropped. “Oh my god.”

“What is it?” Jerry demanded, tired of the drama.

“Two tickets to Italy,” Elizabeth said her eyes as big as saucers.

“I ran it by Spawn to make sure he wasn’t doing anything remotely similar,” Jax said, enjoying her reaction.

“How did you know about Italy?” Elizabeth asked.

“Well, remember that conversation we had about Denial Land and how it looked like Italy and that you’d had the chance to go but hadn’t?” Jax asked. “I thought I’d give you another chance.”

Tears sprang to her eyes. “This is so wonderful, Jax.” She leaned over to hug the blonde man.

“Ah, it’s nothing, kid. You deserve it after the last few months,” Jax replied. She pulled away, a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

“Does this mean you know what Jason got me?”

Have yourself
A merry little Christmas

Nikolas arrived about an hour and half later. A true gentlemen, he arrived with gifts for everyone–even Jerry. He gave Elizabeth her gift which made her smile. Jax had gotten the plane tickets and Nikolas had reserved a villa for the month of April. The nuts had worked together on this.

“Thanks,” she said, hugging him tightly.

“Not a problem. Where’s the–”

Elizabeth pulled back and poked him. “So help me God if you say thug, I’ll kill you.”

“I was going to say boyfriend,” Nikolas said, trying to sound convincing. Elizabeth laughed and hugged him again.

“Oh, Nik. I love you.”

“Bloody Christmas carols,” Jerry grumbled, switching the CD player to a new song. “They’re all the same.

“Touch that stereo again and you’ll pay,” Skye threatened, smacking his hand away from the collection. “This is a family holiday and normal families listen to carols.”

“Well, we’re the Jacks family,” Jerry argued. “We’re not normal.”

“Damn it, we’re going to be normal today!” Skye declared. “You can go back to being nuts tomorrow!”

“I’m always nuts!” Jerry retorted.

Elizabeth started to giggle, and Nikolas couldn’t help but chuckle himself. Jax joined in, and so did his parents. Before long the entire family was laughing at Jerry.

Make the yuletide gay
From now on our troubles
Will be far away

Jason arrived about ten minutes after Nikolas and without any kind of build up, he handed her a manila envelope. She pulled it open and her heart skipped a beat.

An itinerary. Nikolas and Jax hadn’t worked alone. The three of them had worked out an entire trip to Italy and the Mediterranean it seemed for two months, April and May. Elizabeth looked up from a document. “Is this…is this what I think it is?”

Jason scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah.”

She stared back down at the yacht rental agreement. “You rented a yacht for an entire month.”

Jason shifted. “I remember you said you’d see the Mediterranean if you had a yacht.”

“You, Jax and Nikolas did this together?” she asked, her mouth dry.

“Yeah,” Jason replied. “It was Jax’s idea, though. But the yacht–that was mine.”

She smiled. He sounded proud of himself. She looked back down at the rental agreement. “This…this is…Jason, my present sucks in comparison.”

He gave her a little smile. “I doubt it.”

“No, it really does,” Elizabeth assured him. She pulled him over to the tree and pointed at the large package. “That one.”

Jason kneeled down and unwrapped the brown packing paper. Inside was a familiar canvas. Jason frowned as he looked at it. “The Wind.”

She nodded as he stood back up, the canvas in his hands. “Yeah. I was only keeping it until you had somewhere to hang it–and now you do.” Elizabeth smiled at him. “It’s my way of saying that I know this…” she stopped, trying to think of how to phrase it. “That I trust you–and that I don’t need to keep this for you to come back to, because you’re already here.”

He smiled and looked back down at it. “Thank you.”

Once again as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore

“Merry Christmas,” Jax said, coming to their side. “Did Elizabeth like the present?”

“Yes,” Elizabeth said firmly, giving her uncle a kiss on the cheek. “It’s wonderful and it’s the best present I’ve ever gotten.”

“Good, because it wasn’t easy,” Jax said, gesturing towards Jason. “Me, the Cassadine over there and Spawn working together–that might be a once in a life time thing.”

Elizabeth laughed. “I believe that.”

“Elizabeth, darling!” Jane called. “I want to show you something!”

Elizabeth gave Jason another smile before disappearing to her grandmother.

“She really loves it, doesn’t she?” Jax said, sipping his Scotch–Elizabeth had relented, one glass only. He eyed the man standing next to him. “Don’t mess with her this time.”

Jason looked at one of Sonny’s mortal enemies and found himself saying, “I won’t.”

Faithful friends
Who are dear to us

About an hour later, Nikolas left and Jason and Elizabeth headed to Sonny and Carly’s penthouse. Jax was feeling particular cheery (he’d sneaked another glass of Scotch when Elizabeth was looking) and told Elizabeth to wish Lucifer and the succubus a good holiday.

Carly and Sonny had gone all out typically–a professionally decorated twenty-foot Christmas tree with a white light theme. Michael was still ripping open presents–Carly had gone overboard as usual.

Carly was feeling more festive than usual and even managed to laugh when Elizabeth passed on Jax’s greeting. She unceremoniously dumped a package in Elizabeth’s hands and remarked it was from both of them.

Elizabeth eyed Sonny warily–knowing the older man was still trying to assuage his guilt for the Alcazar situation–and removed the white wrapping paper decorated with trees and Santas. A flat jewelry box was inside. She opened the box and darted a look up at Sonny and Carly.

“How did…you?” She looked to Jason. “Oh my god. You all worked together, didn’t you?”

Sonny grinned and removed the silver chain with the glass heart hanging from the end of it from the box. “What can we say?” he said, handing the necklace to Jason. “Why don’t you do the honors?”

Jason slipped it around her neck and fastened the clasp. “To replace the one that broke,” he said.

A hand flitted up to her chest where the heart rested just below her collarbone. “Thank you,” she said, to Sonny and Carly. “You have no idea–thank you so much.”

“It’s a lovely color,” Carly said. “Jason promised me a vase when you two got back from Italy.”

“Definitely,” Elizabeth agreed.

Carly glanced from her husband to her best friend to her red-haired son still unwrapping gifts, oblivious to what was going on around him. “I don’t like you–don’t see that changing–”

“Carly,” Jason warned.

“–and God knows Jason’s track record isn’t all that spectacular–”

“Carly,” Sonny cut in.

“You two are so paranoid,” Carly said, rolling her eyes. “I’m trying to tell Liz that she makes him happy and you all think I’m going to jump her. Honestly. Get a grip.”

Elizabeth surprised the blonde by giving her a light hug. “Thank you.”

Carly shrugged and returned the embrace. “Yeah, well, don’t get used to it.”

Gather near to us once more

After they finished exchanging presents, Jason pulled her out to the hallway and asked her a question Elizabeth had been waiting months to hear.

“The snow’s not that bad,” he said. “So, the roads are pretty good. You want to take a ride?”

Through the years
We all will be together
If the fates allow

//Jax and Skye are kissing underneath the mistletoe while Jerry pretended to gag. Jane smacked her son in the head and told him for the hundredth time to go call Bobbie. Jerry remarked it was his life and he’d call her when he was damn well good and ready.\\

Hang a shining star
Upon the highest bough
And have yourself
A merry little Christmas now

//Nikolas is back at Wyndemere, on the phone. He called Gia first and told her how much he loved and missed her. Gia reported she’d be coming home in two weeks for a week. He called Lucky and was thrilled to hear that Laura had finally made some progress–she’d recognized him the day before. She was expected to make a fully recovery. Lucky was thinking of coming home for a short visit when Emily returned home in the spring.\\

Once again as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends
Who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more

//Carly and Sonny are eating dinner and watching Michael play his dozens of new toys. Sonny remarks that the red heart seemed to go over well and asked again how Carly had managed to extract the idea from Jason. She shrugged, gave him a smile and put another forkful of rosemary chicken in her mouth. After swallowing she told him that one just had to know how to ask the question right. He asked her if she meant what she said to them earlier–about Elizabeth making Jason happy–and Carly confirmed it. She asked if he still felt guilty. Sonny didn’t answer at first–spent a few minutes looking Michael ram his new Tonka truck into a wall. He finally said he felt better–but he’d never stop feeling guilty about treating Jason like another employee. Carly smile and told him that was a good answer.\\

Through the years
We all will be together
If the fates allow

//Elizabeth and Jason are up at Vista Point. She can’t believe that he worked with her family–and Sonny and Carly–to give her the perfect Christmas gift. She’d never dreamed that a little innocent comment about a yacht would result in her receiving (sort of) one for Christmas. Its cold–but neither of them are really paying attention. They’re just too glad they managed to find their way back to each other. And Elizabeth is secretly planning to put Skye’s Christmas gift to some good use during their trip to Italy.\\

Hang a shining star
Upon the highest bough
And have yourself
A merry little Christmas now

This entry is part 5 of 34 in the I Shall Believe

Chapter Four

Elizabeth’s Studio

Elizabeth bit her lip and glanced at the clock sitting on her table. 8:30.She glanced back at the book she’d dug out of her luggage from the house. She’d bought a pregnancy book back when she and Ric were trying to conceive again–wanting to be prepared.

And even after the marriage had crumbled, she’d kept the book. She was glad she had now–she wouldn’t have to fork over some of her hard-earned savings for one.

Even as she tried to concentrate on the paragraph about the changes taking place inside her body during the second month of pregnancy, her eyes kept straying towards the clock.

8:32. 8:33. 8:34.

She sighed and stood to stretch her legs. Was it really too much to hope that he’d be on time for once? That maybe what was going on with her would take precedence over something else? One would think he’d want to get this taken care of as soon as possible.

As annoyed as she was with Carly for spilling the beans about this, she was also sort of grateful. God only knew when Elizabeth would have worked up the courage.

Seven weeks along. Her hand strayed to her abdomen. If she pressed down, she could feel something a little hard there. Her book said that she wouldn’t really notice a very big difference until the beginning of the fourth month.

To be honest, she wanted as much time as possible to go by before she started to show. She needed to come up with explanations–what would she say to her grandmother, to Emily…Oh, God, she could only imagine how much worse this divorce proceeding was going to go once Ric found out about this.

The knock on her heavy steel door jarred her from her mournful thoughts and she crossed to open it. He was about forty minutes late but since she remembered all too well the nights he never showed at all, so she let it go.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I got held up in a meeting with Sonny’s lawyer.”

Elizabeth nodded and returned to the table where she bookmarked her page and closed the book. “It’s fine. I was just reading anyway.”

“Elizabeth…” he took a deep breath. “I’m not really sure what to say and I know that I don’t want to piss you off but I’d really rather that right now we were honest with each other.”

“Okay. Honesty’s probably the best way to start.” She crossed her arms and leaned against the table. “I’m almost a month behind on my rent and my electric is about to be shut off. I also have some medical bills to pay off from when I was in the hospital for the accident and also for the embolism. How’s that for honesty?”

“If you need money, I can give it you,” he told her. “I know how hard you work but–”

“Yeah, I know I’m going to have to cut back at Kelly’s. I’ve been working double shifts constantly since I got my vision back.” Elizabeth arched her eyebrow. “So, what exactly are you looking to get out of this?”

He frowned. “Get out of this?” he replied.

“Well, I’m not really sure what you want from me. If you’re going to sue me for full custody so you and Courtney can raise the child or–”

He sliced his hand through the air. “I’d never do that to you. Come on–you should know me better than that, Elizabeth.”

“Have you told her yet?” she asked pointedly.

Jason shook his head. “No, I wanted…it’s going to be hard enough to tell her about that night and now I have to tell her you’re pregnant when…” he hesitated and looked away. “Courtney’s miscarriage…it damaged her…she can’t conceive.”

“Oh.” Well, now Elizabeth could feel some sympathy for the other woman. Not only had her fiancé cheated on her, but he’d conceived a child with that woman–a child she herself couldn’t give him. “I’m sorry.”

“So, it’s going to be difficult to tell her that. I thought I’d wait until we’d settled this between us. There’s so much up in the air–I just…I wanted to wait.”

“Fine. That part of it isn’t really any of my business anyway.” She lifted herself up onto the table to sit on the edge. “Regardless of what’s happened between us, Jason, I know you’d be a good father and I’m hoping you want to be in the child’s life.”

Jason nodded firmly. “There was never a doubt in my mind. I…I won’t deny that part of me is happy about this, Elizabeth. You know how much Michael meant to me and the idea of having another child…” he exhaled slowly. “No matter what the situation is, I want this child to feel loved and wanted.”

Her eyes teared and she cursed her hormones. “So do I. And I want this child–and part of me is happy, too. I wasn’t sure if you would be, too.”

“I’m not denying this isn’t going to be messy,” he warned her. “Because I still have to tell Courtney and while Carly knows, Sonny doesn’t. And you have…your grandmother and Ric to deal with and something tells me that neither of them is going to be very happy about it.”

“Ric can go jump off a cliff for all I care,” she remarked coolly. “We’re in the middle of the divorce now and he’s dragging it along. I’m hoping to get that settled before I have to tell him anything.”

“I want to be involved in the pregnancy, too,” he told her. “Go to doctor’s appointments and…all of that. Will you let me?”

“I…” She hesitated. “I think you should wait to make that decision until you talk to Courtney. As much as I don’t want her to have a say in any of this…you are married to her and her reaction and opinion are going to matter.”

“But will you let me?” he pressed.

“If that’s what you want.” She crossed her legs and took a deep breath. “I’m going to start looking for another job–one where I can work better hours and make some more money. I don’t want to ask you for more than I absolutely have to.”

“Anything you need, Elizabeth, I want you to be able to come to me for it. I can…” Jason hesitated. “You’re going to say no and get really pissed at me for offering this, but I want you know that I can arrange for you to have an apartment at the Towers, rent free.”

She arched an eyebrow. “You want me to live in the same building as you and your wife?”

“Sonny and I own the Towers,” he tried to explain. “And right now Courtney’s out of town with the boys. We don’t know when she’ll bring them back. Probably not until the trial is over.”

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea. I mean…providing Courtney doesn’t try to kill you, it wouldn’t be fair for her to have me in the same building.”

Jason nodded. “And asking you to let me pay for rent and utilities on any other apartment is out of the question, I’m guessing.”

“Absolutely,” she told him. “The only thing I’d consider letting you pay for is Dr. Meadows as my obstetrician. She’s the best at the hospital but she’s also expensive.”

“Then just tell her office to bill me.” He stepped closer to her. “Elizabeth, this is probably the easiest this is gonna be. You know that I’m gonna have to…” he hesitated. “I’ll probably have to put a guard on you.”

“Why?” she demanded. “I…that doesn’t make sense. I’m not Courtney. I’m not Carly. I don’t need a guard.”

“To keep you safe,” he told her. “Elizabeth, come on, you know that I’m not just being paranoid about this. The last time I ignored the trouble and left you alone, you were kidnapped. And then you were shot. So…just trust me for once.”

“I also don’t want a guard,” Elizabeth said stubbornly. “It’s restricting and they don’t let you walk anywhere. You have to take a stupid car.”

He dropped his head into his chest and took a deep breath. “Okay, let’s compromise. You don’t…you don’t have to have one at all times but you’ll let me put one on you at night when you’re in the studio or when you move to another apartment.”

“Just at night?” she asked hesitantly. “I don’t…I don’t see what you’re worried about. Courtney’s your wife. I’m just–”

“–pregnant with my child and Elizabeth, I’m not sure if you’re aware of this or not but…” Jason paused, trying to think of the best to explain this. “Sonny’s out of the business. I’m the one in charge now.”

She stared at him, a little surprised. “But once he gets out of jail–”

“He turned it over to me before he shot Carly,” Jason informed her. He ran a hand through his hair. “And the way things are going, it doesn’t look like he’ll be coming home soon.”

“So…you’re…in charge.” Elizabeth blinked. “I’m…I’m not sure what to say to that. As long as I’ve known you, you’ve just been…Jason and now–”

“That hasn’t changed,” he said quickly turning around to stop her. “I’m still the same person but I just have a different job now.”

She nodded slowly. “Okay. But you wouldn’t have brought it up if you didn’t think it was something I should know.”

“I just…things are different now. It’s not like it was a year ago when we were…” He broke off, trying to find the right words. “My role is different–it’s higher now and the people around me are in more–”

She rolled her eyes. “Danger,” Elizabeth remarked flatly. “Gee, there’s a word I haven’t heard before.”

“Elizabeth–”

“I think there’s something we have to get straight. If you’re going to be in the baby’s life, then you need to be in it. None of this it’s too dangerous bullshit that you always spewed at me, okay? You don’t get to pick and choose. Either you’re in it or not. Is that understood?”

He took a deep breath. “I wasn’t trying to…okay, it’s understood. I’m just trying to explain why I want a guard on you.”

“I get it. You’re the big boss now and the people around you are even bigger targets.” She shrugged. “Message received. So they might come at you through your illegitimate child and the one-night stand carrying it–fine. I’ll take the guard at night–”

“You are not just a one-night stand to me,” Jason interrupted.

“What? Are we friends?” she challenged.

“I was hoping for that at least,” he told her. “Elizabeth, are we going to spend the next seven months arguing?”

She sighed and looked away. “Okay. I don’t really want to argue about this either. I’m going to get enough shit from the other people in my life–it would be nice if I didn’t have to deal with it here.”

“Courtney’s bringing the boys in for the weekend,” Jason told her. “I’m going…I’m going to tell her then.”

“Okay.” She pushed her hair behind her ears. “I think…I think that’s enough for tonight.”

Instead of leaving, he reached past her and picked up the book she’d been reading. “Is this helpful?”

Frowning, she nodded. “Yeah, I guess. Why?”

“I thought I might…get a copy of it,” he told her. “Just…to understand what you’re going through.”

She smiled then and looked down at the book. “You know you don’t have to do that right?”

“I want to know. I can’t…I can’t be here all of the time–I meant it when I said I wanted to be part of this in every way possible.”

“What if Courtney doesn’t…what if she fights you on that?” Elizabeth asked.

“I don’t know how she’s going to react,” Jason replied hesitantly. “I know it’s going to hurt her and…I don’t want to do that.”

“Okay. I just want you to know that it’s okay if you don’t…I know how important she is to you and if she forgives you, she’s not going to want to be constantly reminded of this situation either.”

“Yeah.” Jason took a deep breath. “I should go. I’ve got…I’ve got some things to do. I’ll talk to you later?”

She nodded. “Okay.”

November 17, 2003

Carly’s House: Kitchen

Carly cursed when her sauce stuck to the side of the pot. She tried to save some of it, but it was hopelessly burned.

What the hell had made her think she could do this?

The phone rang, cutting off her thoughts and she reached out to pick it up. “Hello?” she said distracted.

“Carly?”

Her fingers clenched around the phone instinctively. “Sonny.”

“I…how are you?”

“I’m doing okay,” she murmured. She turned the stove off and dumped the pot in the sink. “You?”

He exhaled slowly. “I could be better. I just…I just got finished a meeting with Dara. She’s my new lawyer, did you know that?”

“No, I didn’t.” Carly rooted around in the refrigerator, looking for something edible to eat. Lorenzo and Sage would be here in two hours.

“Jason, he, ah, convinced me to go with the new defense.” She closed her eyes. She could picture him standing against a wall in the country jail, dressed in prison blues, scratching his chin. “I wanted to see what you think.”

“I think that it’s a good idea,” Carly said softly. “I think that you could benefit from the help.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re probably right. I…it occurred to me that I haven’t…I haven’t apologized. And I don’t know why. I mean, I have been stuck in here and you haven’t come to see me–a-and I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. I know what I did was wrong. And I’m sorry, Carly.”

She sighed and blinked her eyes, surprised at the sudden sting of tears. “Sonny, I want you to get out, believe me. No one knows more than I do that you…I know you can’t be in there and I just…it’s okay. All of it, I mean. It’ll be okay if you just…promise me you’ll cooperate,” she whispered. She pushed her hair out of her face and took a deep breath. “Promise me that you won’t argue with Dara–she’s a good lawyer and if she took your case, she believes in you and that has to matter.”

“I promise. Carly…I want to see you. Eventually, I mean. I don’t–I don’t want to push you. I know you’re doing good with your therapy and I just…I want to see you. I haven’t seen you since that night and I know you’re doing okay–that you’re alive but there’s…there’s this tight feeling in my chest and I just don’t think it’s gonna go away until I see you.”

Carly nodded. “Okay. I’ll come out this week. With Jason. Is Dara going to reopen the bail issue?”

“Yeah. She’s gonna, ah, volunteer to do the ankle tracking thing. I’m gonna surrender my passport and all of that stuff. But if Baldwin goes for the deal, it won’t matter. I’ll be at Ferncliffe.”

“Will Scott go for it?”

“Probably not. You know how he loves to make a splash. Ah, Carly, they’re giving me the signal. I gotta go. I…I love you.”

Wishing desperately that she could give him that back–that he could take it with him back to the cell and it could comfort him, she fought back tears. “Goodbye, Sonny.”
She hung the phone up and looked back at the fridge. Maybe Sage and Lorenzo wouldn’t mind pizza.

Haye’s Landing

“Are we really gonna see Mommy?” Michael asked, bouncing up and down as Courtney tried to zip up his winter jacket. The snow that had started to fall last night had continued to fall all night and most of the morning and had only stopped this afternoon.

“Yep. We’re leaving Friday afternoon and it’ll take three hours for us to get there but we’re going to see Mommy and Uncle Jason, too.” She yanked his hat over his red hair. “Okay, you’re ready to go.”

“Brian’s not here,” Michael observed, disappointed. “He promised to take me sledding and he’s not here.”

“Well, honey, Brian is the sheriff of this whole town. It’s a really important job and he has to concentrate on that.”

He pursed his lips. “He’s a cop?” Michael asked. “I thought all cops were mean like Taggart.”

“No, not all cops are mean,” Courtney sighed, disappointed that Michael was being brought up to distrust authority figures. “Taggart didn’t like your father and your uncle. But there are some good ones. You remember Mac Scorpio?”

Michael nodded. “Yeah. Is he a good cop?”

“He is. He’s fair and he’s someone you can trust. He’s the commissioner of the police which is kind of like a sheriff except Haye’s Landing is smaller than Port Charles and doesn’t need a commissioner.”

“So Brian’s a good guy too?” Michael asked. He pulled on his mittens.

“Yes,” Courtney answered. There was a knock on the door then and Michael ran to yank it open.

“Brian!” he announced excitedly. He looked past the taller man to see the sled sitting in the front yard. “We’re gonna go?”

Brian nodded. “I’m gonna take you out to the biggest hill in town.”

“Can I go, Aunt Courtney?” Michael asked exuberantly.

Courtney nodded. “Sure, just be careful.” She tugged on her ear. “Hey, Brian.”

“Hey Courtney,” he remarked. “You ready to go, big man?”

Michael darted past him and went into the yard and Brian laughed. “Okay, wait for me!” he called. He pulled the door shut behind him and Courtney sighed.

It wasn’t until a few minutes later that she realized he’d barely spoken to her and the thought depressed her a little.

This entry is part 4 of 34 in the I Shall Believe
Chapter Three
 

Haye’s Landing

Courtney shifted the phone to the crook of her neck as she folded a light blanket and put it over the back of the couch. “I’m glad your first session went well, Carly. When are you going back?”

“I’m actually in the waiting room now.” Carly sat back and crossed her ankles. “Listen, I want the boys to come in this weekend. To stay at the house. I want to start slowly, you know? I’m finding out that the more time I spend around people, the more I feel.”

Courtney nodded. “Sure. I’ll drive back Friday morning. Carly, there’s something I wanted to run by you. Michael’s already been out of school for two weeks. He really needs to go back.”

Carly chewed on her lip. “Yeah. I understand that. Well…we can talk about it when you come this weekend.”

“Okay.” Courtney sighed. “How’s Jason? And Sonny?”

“Sonny’s…I haven’t seen him,” Carly admitted. “And Jason…” she hesitated. “He’s okay,” she said finally. “A little stressed but fine.”

“Well…soon this will be over and we can be together–go on a honeymoon or something I guess.” Courtney bit her lip. “Carly, can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Carly replied a little hesitantly.

“Do you think I’m a bad person?” she asked bluntly. “I mean…you say you can’t remember your feelings, your emotions so I’m hoping that you can give me an objective opinion.”

“I don’t think you’re a bad person,” Carly replied, surprised. “Why?”

“Never–never mind.” She sighed. “I’ll see you on Friday. Tell Jason I love him.”

“Will do. See ya.”

Courtney hung up the phone and wandered to the window where Michael was standing out on the lawn, his face tilted up to let the first snow fall of season fall over his face. Brian was standing behind him, his hands in the pockets of his jeans, his usual sheriff’s jacket zipped up.

He looked up and met her eyes through the window. She didn’t look away even though her instincts told her so. There was nothing wrong with physical attraction as long as she didn’t act on it.

And she didn’t intend to. She’d fought hard for her relationship and her marriage. Sure she and Jason had had tough times but she knew people who’d gotten through worse. She wasn’t going to be one of those women who gave up when the going got rough.

It wasn’t going to be like her marriage to AJ. A year later, she could look last fall a little differently. Look at AJ’s motives rather than his actions. After all, the thing he’d feared the most had ended up being true. She’d left him for his brother.

She watched as Brian left Michael in the snow and walked to the front door. He knocked on it but she made no move to open it.

After a moment, he pushed it open and stepped inside. “I wanted to apologize.”

Courtney crossed her arms. “Okay.”

“You’re right, I only know what’s in the file. Jason Morgan could be a great guy.”

“He is,” Courtney said quickly and a little too forcefully. “He is,” she repeated in a quieter voice. “We went through a lot this last year and I love him. So…whatever this is…it has to stop.”

Brian nodded. “Right.”

“I’m taking the boys to see their mother this Friday and if it goes the way I think it will, we’ll probably go home next week,” she said quietly. “And I know you have more important things to be doing than just…hanging around here, looking after the house.”

“It’s a pretty quiet town,” Brian remarked. “Not much happens here.”

“It’s a nice place but Port Charles is my home.”

“I should get back to the station. I’ll see you later, Courtney.”

General Hospital: Cameron Lewis’s Office

“So, how are we feeling today?” Cameron asked. He adjusted his notepad on his thigh and studied his patient.

“Fine. A little more clear on things,” Carly answered. “I, ah, just got off the phone with Courtney and she’s bringing the boys in this weekend for a few days.” Carly tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “The more time I’ve spent with Jason, the more my feelings for him, the affection, the love…the more that’s all returned so I’m going to experiment with that this weekend.”

She stared at her hands. “I took my wedding and engagement rings off. I haven’t taken them off since Sonny put them on my fingers.”

“Why do you think you were able to do it this time instead of other separations?”

“Before I never really accepted it,” she admitted. “Even when we were divorced…I was still so in love with him. I didn’t move on at all. I just…I couldn’t do it.”

“What if you get your feelings for him back?” Cameron pressed.

“My marriage has been in trouble for a long time,” Carly admitted. “I didn’t…I didn’t see it because I found ways to excuse it. He was just having a bad day, he was going through a rough time…etc. So when he’d say…when he would treat me like a child, I rationalized it.”

“How would he treat you like a child?”

“He’d…he’d question my every move, my every thought. Nothing I did ever…it was like he felt that I wasn’t…that I wasn’t smart enough to take care of myself.” She cracked her knuckles nervously. “I used to just think it was part of…he’s always gone through these periods…dark times when he’d question everything. He’d question me, question Jason, anyone in his life, you know? He’d get overly paranoid and I just…I accepted it because it was part of him and I loved him.”

“And now?”

“Now I think that I sheltered him,” Carly admitted. “I made excuses when I should have gotten him help. And I let him get away with treating me so badly because I didn’t want to face the idea I couldn’t give him that help.”

“Okay, now let’s talk about your dreams, about the man in them. Is the man part of your life now?” Cameron asked, switching topics.

Carly nodded. “Yeah. He is.” She flushed a little and looked down. “It’s hard to be around him though. Because I feel this way and I’m not sure it’s real and I know…he’s made it very clear how he feels about me.”

“And how does he feel?”

“He’s in love with me,” Carly admitted. “And I don’t want to tell him that I feel the same because if that changes in the future, I don’t want to hurt him. He means…he means a lot to me. He’s been there for me when I’ve needed him so I just…I want to be careful.”

“That makes sense. It’s clear this man was important to you before the shooting.”

Carly nodded. “He was there for me when I moved into the new house, he was at my side when I nearly lost Morgan–he told the doctors not to deliver the baby even though my life might be in danger. Lorenzo’s been good to me and I want to make sure I don’t hurt him.” She cleared her throat. “I invited him and his niece over for dinner this week. It was a spur of the moment thing and I still…I don’t know why. Sage–his niece–is the only family he has left and I guess I wanted to…” she bit her lip and frowned a little. “I want to know more about him–see him around the people he loves.”

“You want to be part of his life,” Cameron clarified.

“Yes,” Carly agreed. “I also…” she blew out a deep breath. “I’m thinking of going to see Sonny this week but I think it hurts him that I don’t love him anymore and I also…I’m not sure if I’m ready.”

“Why wouldn’t you be?” he asked.

“Because…he did shoot me,” Carly remarked. “I was in labor with our child and he shot at Lorenzo who was helping me and I ended up with a bullet in my head and in a coma for two weeks. I was extremely lucky that there wasn’t a lot of damage done so I think it’s understandable that in addition to my loss of emotions, there’s anger there.”

Cameron nodded. “It is understandable and it doesn’t surprise me. If Sonny is convicted and sent to jail, what do you think will happen?’

“I’m not sure.” She took a deep breath. “I know that Jason broached the lawyers about doing some kind of mental defect defense and I’m in favor of it if it means that Sonny will get the help he needs.”

“So while the love is gone, it sounds like there’s still a lot of concern for him.”

“Of course,” Carly replied. “He’s a claustrophobic paranoid man locked up in a jail cell. I am concerned for him but that doesn’t mean I’m going to run around trying to get him released.”

“So what do you think would happen if you were to go see him?”

“I’m not sure I could separate my anger from everything else and he doesn’t need that right now–I don’t need it right now,” Carly corrected. “I’m trying to get to a place in my life where I’m okay with who I am and where I’m going and it’s becoming clear that a marriage to Sonny isn’t part of that. At least…not until I’m a little more…settled in my life. I need to get back to running my club, to being with my boys–I’ve never been a particularly good mother–I can admit that now. I put Sonny above that and I can’t do that anymore.”

“Sounds like you’re on the right track, Carly. You’re making good progress,” Cameron told her. “To be honest, when your mother first told me you were coming to see me, I wasn’t sure what would happen because doctors were sure that it was brain damage but the more I talk to you, the more I think what you’re going through is psychosomatic. The mind is very powerful but it’s also vulnerable and it goes to great lengths to protect itself. When people repress memories, their mind is protecting them.”

“You think I’m trying to protect myself from something?” Carly asked, slightly confused.

“No, but I think part of you subconsciously realized that you were going to stay locked in this hurtful limbo your marriage turned into and it needed to find a way to change the situation.”

“So you think it shut down my feelings in order for me to realize what was going on,” Carly said slowly. “I think…I think that might be right. Do people who experience these things remember eventually?”

“Repressed memories usually come back, yes and what you’re experiencing is a type of repression. You’re repressing your emotions in order to look at your life. And when you are more ready to deal with things, it’s altogether possible those memories could come back. Those emotions.”

“That sounds so much better than what some of the doctors were telling me,” Carly sighed. She smiled at him. “I’m really glad I decided to do this.”

Kelly’s: Kitchen

Jason stared at her for a moment, still trying to process the idea. She was pregnant and the child was his. Elizabeth was pregnant and she was apparently very pissed at him.

“Why are you mad at me?” he asked finally.

“I’m mad at myself more,” she scowled. She turned her back and gripped the sides of the stove. “I made this stupid mistake. And I’m just…God, Jason, you’re married. Do you have any idea what this looks like?”

“How do you think I feel?” he hissed. “I never told Courtney about that night.”

She whirled around. “You said you were going to–”

“I just…with everything that was going on, there was never a right time and then she just…the wedding just came together and look, it’s not the easiest–” he swore under his breath. “Elizabeth–”

“I know this is a bad situation for you and I want you to know that I’m prepared to take care of it, okay? I don’t need your help.” She shoved her hair out of her face and took a deep breath. “Oh and just for some clarification, I don’t intend on having an abortion. I was willing to have my psycho ex-husband’s child, I think I can deal with having a married man’s baby. I mean people are already laughing behind by back, now they’ll just laugh in my face–” her voice broke and she turned away from him, closing her eyes.

“Elizabeth…people are going to realize that the child was conceived before the wedding,” he tried to assure her.

“You were still engaged and technically I’m still married so you know what? This looks really bad. God, I went from a hit man to a psycho straight back to the hit man.” She thumped her closed fist against her forehead. “When will I learn?” she muttered.

His face darkened. “This isn’t exactly my idea of good news either,” Jason bit out. “I’m already dealing with enough–”

“Oh and I’m not?” she snapped, her eyes flying open. “I’m in the middle of a very bitter divorce, I have to work double shifts and I live in a studio that wouldn’t know heat if it bit it in the ass so I really don’t want to hear about what a horrible life you’re living with all the money in the world and a luxurious penthouse, okay?” She glanced out into the dining room to see a few curious customers looking her way as well as the sympathetic eyes of Nikolas and Lucky. Shit, shit, shit.

“Can we just do this somewhere else?” she continued, a touch of desperation in her voice.

He exhaled slowly. “Yeah. Fine. When are you done work?”

“Eight tonight,” she told him. “Just…ah, come to the studio I guess. We can…we can deal with this then. I need to finish Nikolas’s order.”

“Elizabeth, this is going to be okay,” he tried to tell her.

She snorted and looked away, her eyes teary. “You don’t really believe that do you?” she scoffed.

He took a deep breath. “I have to. I’ll see you tonight.”

He left through the back door instead of the font door and she took a few moments to collect herself before starting Nikolas’s food.

“Elizabeth?”

She turned at the sound of Lucky’s voice. “Hey. Did…did you, ah, need something?”

“I’m getting ready to head out. Uh, that conversation looked intense. Are you okay?”

Elizabeth closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “No, Lucky, honestly I’m not but this is a conversation that you really don’t have time for.”

“Elizabeth–”

“Seriously, Lucky, it’s nothing I can talk about right now.” She managed a fake smile. “Go to work. I’ll call you tonight.”

“Okay.” He looked at her suspiciously but left. She turned back to the stove and fought tears.

General Hospital: Waiting Room


When Carly exited Dr. Lewis’s office, she found Jason waiting for her. “Hey. Did you…did you talk to her?”
He nodded and they started for the elevators. “It’s mine,” he admitted once they were inside the car and heading for the parking garage.

Carly sighed. “Oh, Jase…what’re you going to do?”

“I don’t know yet. She…she was working and it really wasn’t the place or time to get into it.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “We’re going to meet later.”

“How do you feel about it?” Carly asked, placing a hand on his arm.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel,” he sighed. “This–”

“I don’t care about what you’re supposed to feel, I care about what you do feel.” The doors slid open and they started towards her car. “I’m not trying to pressure you and I’m not going to force you to tell Courtney before you’re ready…I just…I wanna be there for you like you’ve done for me.”

“I’m…I almost feel happy about it,” he admitted. “I really…I liked the time I spent with Michael and the idea of having a child that…that no one can take from me and tell him or her that someone else is their father…” he shook his head. “But on the other hand, I cheated on Courtney. It was a mistake but I still did it. I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway.”

“How did it happen?” she fished her car keys out of her pocket and slid it into the lock.

“It was after she got out of the hospital,” Jason told her. “She was just getting her sight back but it wasn’t…it wasn’t back all the way and she was on the docks one night. I’d had a fight with Courtney. I don’t even remember why and I was there. I walked her home and we were talking…it was nice not to argue with her…it wasn’t like before but we were talking again and I had…I’d forgotten how easy it was.”

Carly stared at him over the car. “And?”

“We were at her studio and she…she was trying to fit the key into the lock but she..” he paused, his eyes looking kind of distant, “she couldn’t get it in right away. Couldn’t make it fit. I put my hand over hers to…adjust it and she looked up to thank me and it just…I kissed her.” He blinked and looked at her. “I started it. And she got the door open and we were still kissing. It was awkward because she still couldn’t see very well but it felt–” he broke off and shook his head. “But we made love–had sex,” he corrected. “More than once. The next morning when we…when we woke up, we agreed it was a mistake and that we wouldn’t talk about it again.”

She stared at him. “I just…this is going to get so much more worse before it gets better,” she told him quietly.

“Yeah.” He sighed. “Yeah I know.” Jason met her eyes. “But the only thing I’m sure of–that I know for certain is that I’m going to be a father to my child. I’m going to take care of the baby and his mother if she’ll let me.”

“She’s stubborn,” Carly reminded him. “And you’ll have Courtney to deal with.”

“I know.” Jason rubbed the back of his neck. “I know that I want to talk to Elizabeth before I tell Courtney so I have a better idea of what to tell her, you know?”

“Jason, it’s a very honorable thing you want to do,” Carly told him. “But I just want you to be careful. Yes, it’s your responsibility to provide for the baby and I can even understand where you’d want to take care of Elizabeth but you’re a married man. Promise me you won’t do anything impulsive.”

“I don’t think I’ve done anything impulsive in my life,” he remarked.

“Well, a good way to decide if it’s impulsive is to ask yourself…would Carly do this?” She cracked a smile. “And if the answer is yes, then your instinct should be no.”

“Yeah…that’s probably a good place to start,” Jason replied, a faint glimmer of amusement in his eyes.