You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And now you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
– Stuck in a Moment, U2

December 26, 2005

Quartermaine Mansion: Dining Room

Emily watched as Dillon piled his plate high with French toast, bacon, sausage and six slices of toast before arching her eyebrow. “Lu’s hungry this morning I see.”

Dillon glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “How do you always know?” he muttered, reaching for the pitcher of orange juice to pour a glass.

“Please,” his cousin replied. “You hate sausage.” She watched him continue to fill his plate. “Why did she make a break for it this time?”

Dillon hesitated but before he could say anything else, Edward ambled in with Tracy behind him, the two already finding themselves knee deep in their usual arguments. “The thing about Lu is that you think you know what she’s getting herself into and then she just completely goes in another direction.”

“What’s this about Lulu?” Edward demanded. He jabbed a finger in his grandson’s direction. “Mark my words, young man, Lesley Lu Spencer will lead you into nothing but disaster. As this family’s leader of the next generation—”

“I’m out of here,” Dillon interrupted, making a hasty exit towards the foyer.

“That boy is out of control,” Edward continued. “This family is out of control! One grandchild is a motorcycle riding thug, another is a lost cause alcoholic, one has his head in the clouds, another wears leather pants and you…” his gaze fell on Emily. “You have completely lost your mind over some boy.”

He expected Emily to launch into her usual defense of the Cassadine boy but was surprised when she remained silent and took her customary seat to the left of his own. Not sure what to do now that Emily had disrupted his morning routine, Edward sank into his seat and reached for the newspaper. Maybe she hadn’t heard him.

“Have you come to your senses then about that boy?” Edward demanded. “He’s useless, I tell you. And a wastrel! Why, when I think about all the spending he’s authorized at the hospital. He’ll have you in the poorhouse in less than ten years, mark my words!”

But Emily didn’t rise to the bait. She smiled absently at him and bit into her blueberry muffin. She was ignoring him! If there was nothing else Edward hated, it was being treated like a doddering old fool. Well, he’d see about this!

“And when that happens, don’t bother to darken my doorstep!” he declared. “The day you marry him, you’re no longer a Quartermaine!”

He finally got a reaction from his granddaughter but it was not the fiery defense he had expected. Instead, she set her muffin down, pushed her chair away and left the room. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

“Nice job, Daddy,” Tracy said, strolling in the room. “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen two members of the family flee the room so close together since Alan and I were teenagers. You haven’t lost your touch.”

Edward put Emily’s strange behavior out of his head and started on the next step in his routine: questioning Tracy about Ned and ELQ.

Kelly’s: Courtyard

Patrick checked his watch and scowled. “She’s late.”

“You have the patience of a five-year-old,” Lucky said. He breathed some warm air into his hands and rubbed them together. He was always leaving his gloves at home. “She’s ten minutes late. Maybe that ancient car of hers wouldn’t start again.”

“I’m not even sure she came home last night,” Patrick huffed. “Will said she disappeared with Morgan and he wasn’t awake when she came back, if she came back at all. She certainly wasn’t there when I got home and she wasn’t there when I woke up.”

“Ellie is a big girl now, which you should know since you’re the same age and you’ve spent a few nights out yourself,” Lucky reminded him. “Why don’t you let the girl live her own life?”

“Because she’s clearly incapable of it,” Patrick said. “Look at who she hangs out with! First Morgan and then she goes to the holiday party with Sonny freaking Corinthos! Who knows where she is right now?”

Elizabeth was not that far away, in fact. She had returned to her apartment, but it had been extremely late and she had met Jason very early that morning for coffee before his shift at the warehouse. At that very moment, she was around the corner, her back pressed up against Kelly’s and giggling as Jason kissed the side of her neck. “I have to go,” she told him.

“Why?” he asked, pulling away and frowning in mock confusion. “You’d rather eat breakfast with your brother?”

“Not in the mood he’s going to be in, but I do have to go to work eventually.” She raised herself up on her tiptoes and kissed his nose. “I’ll see you tonight?”

“What time are you done?” he leaned down to steal another kiss.

“Mmm…” Elizabeth blinked, distracted. “What was the question? Wait…” she closed her eyes and licked her lips, really enjoying the taste of coffee. “Nine tonight. I’m working a little overtime.”

“I’ll meet you in the parking garage then.” He kissed her again. “Unless you want to ditch everything and we’ll go on a ride. I’ll take the cliff road.”

Elizabeth pouted. “No fair. You know I’d do just about anything for that.” She paused and then wiggled her eyebrows. “I’ll do it if I can drive.”

Jason chuckled and stepped back, finally allowing Elizabeth to come away from the wall. “No deal.”

“Bully.” She kissed him one last time and then darted around the corner to find her brother waiting for her impatiently.

Not that Patrick had any other way of waiting. Nothing was ever on time for him, even if it was five minutes early.

“Nice of you to tear yourself away for your own family,” he snarled.

Elizabeth was too buoyed by the events of the last fourteen hours to care about her brother’s bear of a mood. “Well, I’m here now and I’m starving. Let’s grab some food—”

“Not so fast,” Patrick grabbed her arm to anchor her in place. “Lucky, we’ll meet you inside.”

“Courage, El, courage,” Lucky shrugged and entered Kelly’s to find a table.

“Where were you last night?” Patrick demanded.

“Where were you?” Elizabeth countered easily. “You stomped out of Dad’s like a five-year-old and then didn’t bother to come home. I didn’t even leave until after nine and I don’t seem to recall you calling and checking in—”

“Do not turn this around on me, Ellie. I am not the one who spends her time gallivanting with criminals—”

“Patrick, please do not start this right now.” Elizabeth could feel the glow of her happy morning fading away. “Because I swear that if you do not stop asking right now, I will tell you exactly where I was.”

Something in her tone of voice stopped him from opening his mouth for a long second. But he wasn’t out for long. “Did you sleep with him?” Patrick demanded harshly. “Jesus, Ellie—”

“Stop it, just stop it right now!” Elizabeth planted both her hands on his chest and shoved hard. “How dare you do this in the middle of the courtyard? How dare you treat me like a child? I am your sister, you jackass and I think I have earned at least a miniscule of respect.” She jabbed her finger at him. “I will spend my time with whomever I please. I don’t ask you to run your friends by me. You do not get to treat me like this—”

“Whoa, whoa—” Patrick closed his hands over her shoulders. “Wait, I’m sorry.”

“Do not apologize to me unless you mean it,” she warned. “I am through with the Drake men and their drama. You and Dad treat me like I stopped growing up at age five and I am sick of it. I am an adult, Patrick. An adult. Which means I get to sleep with whomever I want.”

“Oh, God, you did—”

“For your information, and I am only telling you this because I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings. I did not have sex with anyone last night, and I did not spend the night with Jason. I came home late and left early.” She crossed her arms and glared at him. “And just so we’re completely honest with each other, I do have feelings for Jason and I am lucky enough to know that he feels the same way. I have the right to that, don’t I?”

“You have the right to that and a lot more, Ellie, but not from some two-bit criminal—”

“If you say another word—just one more word—along that subject line , we are done, Patrick. We are done,” she threatened.

Patrick closed his mouth, fuming. “Fine. Have it your way. You’re right. You’re a big girl now and you can do whatever the hell you want. Far be it for me to try and keep you from making a mistake.” He glared at her for another moment before letting out a huff. “Are we going to eat breakfast or not?”

He expected her to smile and follow him inside like she had done after all their arguments in the past. But this time, she shook her head. “No. I’ll get something at the hospital.”

“Ellie, wait,” he called after her half-heartedly. But he didn’t say it loud enough and she disappeared back into the parking lot.

Patrick went inside and threw himself into the chair across from Lucky who merely checked his watch. “Five minutes less than I thought it would take.”

“Shut the hell up.”

General Hospital: Locker Room

“I am supremely glad that Christmas is over,” Emily said, pulling her scrubs top on. “No more family togetherness.”

“At least until New Year’s Eve,” Robin laughed.

“Do not remind me.” Emily tied her scrubs pants and hesitated before closing her locker. “Robin, am I being selfish?”

“About what?” Robin asked. She bound her hair back in a ponytail. “You’re like the least selfish person I know.”

“About Nikolas.” Emily touched her engagement ring. “I love him, I love him so much, but I love my family, too. I never thought I would, but I do and I just…I feel like I’m making things difficult for my family. They don’t like the Cassadines, they never have. They don’t approve of my relationship with Nikolas, and I think it’s just going to get worse after we get married, not better.”

“Em, you can’t let your family dictate your choices in life—” Robin began but Emily shook her head.

“I know that,” Emily cut in. “And that’s not what this is about. I have to face what my choices might cost me. This might be my last Christmas with them, my last New Year’s. The only person at my wedding will probably be my mother.”

“Emily, if that’s true, if that’s what happens…” Robin touched her shoulder.

“Then the loss is theirs, not yours.”

“I know that here,” Emily tapped her head and then she pressed her hand flat against her chest. “It’s here I’m having trouble coming to terms with. I love the Quartermaines. They saved me, they gave me so much love and understanding and so many opportunities—how can I make a choice that will cut that off?”

“I don’t know,” Robin answered. “I don’t know what the answer to that is. I guess you’re going to have to find out for yourself if it’s worth taking the risk.”

“He is worth it,” Emily said. “He’s worth it and so much more, but I’m not the only one risking here. Nikolas adores his uncle. Stefan is his father in every way and he has made it clear that if Nikolas goes through with this, Stefan will go back to Greece and will cut all ties. The hatred is that strong.”

“Oh, honey…”

“I’m terrified that one day, the only thing Nikolas and I will see when we look at each other is everything it cost to be together and that we’ll hate one another for it,” Emily confessed.

Spencer House: Living Room

Laura carefully took down Lucky’s Christmas ornament and smiled fondly at it before wrapping it in tissue paper and placing it back in the box. She loved her little family mementos and couldn’t wait to pass certain pieces to her future daughter-in-law, whoever she may be or even a son-in-law one day.

And of course, to Emily, when she joined the family. She had a Christmas ball for Nikolas that she had kept hidden away for many years; she had taken it on the run, brought it home to Port Charles and that first wonderful Christmas that she felt like she could put it up and not have Luke snarl, it had taken its place near Lucky and Lulu’s.

She would hate to part with it, but it should be Emily’s next year.

The door opened and closed behind her and Laura, with that uncanny sense that only mothers seemed to possess, smiled. “I’m glad you came back.” She placed a silver angel into its box and turned. “Honey, I think it’s time we sat and talked.”

Lulu nodded but stayed on the front landing. “I know. That’s why I didn’t sneak in through my window.”

Laura gestured towards the kitchen. “Do you want some hot chocolate? I’ll put marshmallows in it.”

“No,” Lulu bit her lip. “Is anyone else home?”

“No, Lucky went down to the club to do the books, Grandma is at the hospital and your father is looking after the cleanup at the Star.” Laura lowered herself onto the couch and patted the cushion next to her.

Lulu sat gingerly on the edge and kept herself closed off, her arms tightly crossed. “I’m sorry I left yesterday. I was just—you gave me that necklace and I was so…” she shook her head. “I don’t know, everything just bottled up inside me and I couldn’t think anymore.”

“Sweetheart…” Laura wished she could reach out and hug her daughter, but she knew Lulu wouldn’t accept it right now. “That necklace is very special to our family. It’s passed down three generations and it’s my dream that even a hundred years from now, a woman in our family will give it to her daughter and tell her about all the women that came before her.”

Laura took the velvet box from a drawer in the coffee table. “I don’t suppose I went about the right way of giving it to you. Family tradition dictates that on the sixteenth birthday, I come into your room, fasten it around your neck and tell you about those who came first. But that day, as I put it into the box, your father…” she sighed. “You’re his little princess, his gumdrop as he likes to say and he just…he wasn’t ready. He asked me to wait and against my better judgment, I did.”

“This is going to sound so stupid, but when I didn’t get that necklace, when we didn’t have that moment I had actually been looking forward to…” Lulu sniffled. “I thought it…Well, it’s because she knows. She looks at me and she knows.”

Laura frowned. “Know what, Lu?”

“That I’m not a real Spencer,” Lulu admitted in a tiny voice.

“What?” Laura gasped. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m not clever like Dad, I’m not slick like Lucky, I’ll never be as sweet as

Grandma and I’m nothing like you. I’m not graceful, I’m not compassionate, I’m not—”

“Baby…” Laura reached across the gap between them and pulled her daughter into her arms. “How can you say such things? Is this what has been going through your head this last year?”

“I just knew that I didn’t fit, that I didn’t belong and you guys seemed to believe that because you didn’t even give me the family heirloom—”

“You are a Spencer, in every way that counts.” Laura pulled away and smoothed the hair from her daughter’s face. “I pray to God you never have to prove it by having the kind of lives your father and I led and I’m so grateful your childhood wasn’t like Lucky’s, but darling, you are everything that’s good about your father and I. If we had planned our daughter, we couldn’t have planned anything more perfect.”

“You have to say that, you’re my mother,” Lulu mumbled.

“Even after I had Lucky, I knew I wanted one more,” Laura told her. “I wanted a little girl to love and I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter.” She wiped her eyes and sat back. “This pearl necklace was given to my mother on her birthday by my grandmother, your great grandmother. Have I ever told you about her?”

Lulu shook her head. “No. Not really.”

“I didn’t know her, she had passed by the time my mother found me, but her name was Lillian. Her husband gave this to her on their wedding day and it was his idea to pass it down to their daughter, which she did. My mother gave it to me when I turned sixteen even though we were barely on speaking terms, as we so rarely were. She still sat me down and we had this moment.” Laura gestured for Lulu to turn so she could fasten the necklace.

As she did so, Laura continued, “My mother told me that my grandmother was the strongest woman that she’d ever known. She’d grown up during the Great Depression and had left her family to find work so they wouldn’t have to worry about having another mouth to feed. She ended up in Texas, picking fruit for the local orchard and one day, the owner’s son was there to check on the work. According to family legend, he looked at Lillian and she looked back and they never looked at anyone else for as long as they lived.”

Lulu smiled. “That’s very romantic.”

“Mmm…well then my mother told me about my father and how they met. He was her college professor, the man that encouraged her to go into medicine. They did not end up together, of course, but she told me that he had given her the two greatest gifts—her daughter and her path in life.”

“Trust Grandma to find a spin to put on that story,” Lulu laughed.

“So now it’s my turn to tell you about your father and I. I don’t suppose there’s much you don’t already know. We have had an interesting marriage, with all the excitement I think I can stand for one lifetime, but I know that I will never find a man who will cherish me or love me more. I wish that for you, baby.”

“I hope I get half of the love you and Dad have had,” Lulu swallowed hard.

“One day, when I give this necklace to my daughter, I’m going to tell her that my mother was the best woman I’ve ever known and that the only thing I’ve I ever wanted is was for her to be proud of me.”

“Of course I’m proud of you,” Laura began.

“I wish I had a pretty story to tell her or a way to put a spin on how she came into existence, but I don’t.” Lulu fingered her pearls for a long moment. “Because all I’ll be able to say is that I was dating her father to make my parents mad and how I was too scared to tell him I was pretty sure he was going to end up being an alcoholic like all the other men in his family.”

Laura stared at her for a long moment before finding the words. “Are you telling me that you’re pregnant and that Will Drake is the father?”

Lulu nodded miserably. “Still proud of me?”

I still believe in Santa Claus
Maybe that’s just because I’m still
A child at heart
And I still believe in old St. Nick
But then again maybe that’s the trick we need
We need to retreat to a world of make believe
– I Still Believe in Santa Claus, New Kids on the Block

December 25, 2005

Spencer House: Upstairs Hallway

Laura Spencer had always thought that raising a daughter would somehow be simpler than raising her sons—or more specifically, raising her son as she hadn’t had much of an input in Nikolas’s upbringing. She’d imagined being able to understand her more than her boys because she’d been a rebellious teen herself.

But Lulu was in a class all her own. She’d been sweet and loving for the first sixteen years but one morning, she’d woken up and her daughter had been replaced by a sullen, angry and disobedient young woman and Laura couldn’t understand where the hostility had come from. She’d plodded along, battling each crisis as it came up but for Lulu to reject a gift that was meant to be a legacy in their family—Laura just couldn’t fathom it.

She knocked once more at Lulu’s door but knew it was a fruitless effort. If Lulu were in the room, she would never answer and it was more likely that she’d crawled out the window. Laura reached into her pocket, withdrew the trusty hair pin that she no longer traveled without and with a few careful flicks of her wrist, unlocked her daughter’s bedroom door.

When Laura had found out she was pregnant, she’d been stunned. And thrilled. She loved her son Lucky and she broke for the loss of her son Nikolas. She craved a daughter and she’d been so sure that her third child would be a female that she’d immediately painted this room a soft pink in preparation. She’d decorated it with white wicker furniture, stuffed animals and a gorgeous oak rocking chair that she used every night for the first year or so of Lu’s life.

Lulu had long ago repainted the walls from the original pink to a loud purple and the carefully selected baby furniture was now gathering dust in the attic. Lu had replaced it with a large brass double bed, a beaten down dresser that she’d painted ebony black and posters of bands that Laura had never heard of covered the walls. Lu’s clothes were strewn over the carpet, still the same cream color and the ancient computer that they’d bought three years ago sat on the second hand desk Laura had refinished for Lu’s fourteenth birthday. Lu had painted it black shortly after she’d turned sixteen.

The window was cracked open and a piece of notebook paper was tucked under one of the pillows on the window seat. Laura sighed, resigned and plucked it free. She unfolded it and read Lulu’s loopy handwriting. I’m sorry, Mom. I had to get away for a little while. I’m at Dillon’s. I’ll call you.

She folded the paper and tucked it underneath one of Lulu’s notebooks on the desk. Some mothers—her own included—would have gone over to the Quartermaine estate and dragged her daughter back if it meant tugging her by the hair. But Laura liked to think that she had learned from her childhood, and from her time raising Lucky on the run. She and Luke had raised a level-headed young woman and no amount of dragging Lulu home would solve this. She would wait until Lulu called (she always did) and then they would take it from there.

She closed Lulu’s door and rejoined her family in the living room. “Lulu’s not feeling well,” Laura lied without guilt. “She needs some time to herself.”

“I don’t think so.” Luke started to rise but stilled with one touch from his wife. “She can’t just sulk whenever she wants—”

“She’s having some boy trouble,” Laura remarked. “She’s not feeling herself and doesn’t want to ruin everyone’s holiday. Sometimes girls just need some time on their own.” She flicked her eyes to her mother. “Right, Mom?”

Lesley Webber hesitated but then smiled at her son-in-law. “She’s right, Luke. Teenage girls will rebel whether you like it or not. You might as well give her some space or else she’ll run off with the first reprobate she finds and before you know it, she’ll spend the whole summer on the run.”

“Ah, hell,” Luke muttered, chastised properly at the reminder that he’d once spirited his beloved angel away from her family and friends simply because he’d wanted her at his side. “The kids were always your area, Laura,” he admitted. “You know better than I do.”

If only Laura could believe that as firmly as Luke seemed to. She smiled and handed a gift to her son, hoping the observant young man had taken her explanation at face value. “Your turn, honey.”

Lucky hesitated before taking the brightly wrapped present, studying his mother’s face. Whether he believed her or decided to support her, Laura wasn’t sure, but Lucky took the gift and started to rip it open.

Quartermaine Estate: Dillon’s Room

Dillon closed the door, coming perilously close to shutting it in his grandfather’s face. For some reason, Edward had decided to pay attention to his youngest grandson and bombard with questions about his future. The words future and Edward never went together in the same sentence without a healthy dose of fear so he’d done his best to escape. Dillon had plans that did not include ELQ.

A thump from his window jarred him from his thoughts and Dillon glanced over in time to see his window slide open and a duffle bag plop to the floor. “Lu?”

His best friend’s blonde head popped in through the opening and in another moment, her body followed. “Hey. Ah, I need a place to crash for a while.”

“You should not be climbing the trellis,” Dillon said, crossing the room and closing the window. “You’re in a delicate—” he gestured with his hands, “you know, condition.”

“Gee, I didn’t know,” Lulu retorted. “Because it’s so easy to forget I’m knocked up.” She huffed. “Relax, I can climb that thing in my sleep.” She sat on his bed and pulled off her boots. “How’d your day go?”

“Edward realized I existed,” Dillon kicked his shoes off and flopped on the bed. He laid back and rested his head on the pillow. A moment later, Lulu’s head appeared on the adjacent side. “My mother and Grandfather had their yearly go around about my brother Ned and his running of the company. Alan and Monica had the house argument about eight times.” He frowned. “The only thing that didn’t go as usual was the Nikolas argument.”

“What, they actually saw Em’s point?” Lulu asked.

“No…Emily never mentioned him so it never came up.” He folded his hands behind his head. “Maybe she’s finally realizing that she’s been wasting her breath. They’re never going to accept him as part of the family.”

“That must be so hard on her,” Lulu sighed. “I mean, my parents never approved of Will, but at least I wasn’t planning on marrying him. And you know, Em like totally lives for this family. It must be really hard knowing they don’t approve of the man you want to marry.”

He’d never thought of it that way before and now it troubled him. Dillon didn’t really mind Nikolas Cassadine—he’d helped Emily bail him and Lulu out of that embarrassing St. Paul mess last year—but Dillon had never really given his cousin his support either. He didn’t think that she had needed it; Emily had always seemed so strong and confident but he supposed it wouldn’t hurt to know that someone was on her side.

“So, speaking of Will,” Dillon said casually. “I ran into him a few days ago.”

Lulu tensed but otherwise didn’t move. “You didn’t tell him I was pregnant,” she stated. “He would have knocked down my door otherwise.”

“Well, I didn’t mention it because it was clear he didn’t know.” Dillon turned his head to face her.  “What encouraged this sojourn from home anyway?”

She sighed and pursed her lips. “My mom gave me the pearls today,” she said quietly. “Like it was all normal and they hadn’t waited two years. She just handed them to me.”

“Lu…” He’d never understand girls. From the moment Lulu had told him about the legendary pearls and how she’d been so upset when she didn’t get them on schedule, he was kind of confused. Lulu didn’t even wear jewelry. “What’d you do?”

“Oh, you know—made a huge scene of running out of the room. I packed a bag and climbed out my window.”

Typical Lulu behavior. “What’re you going to do?” he asked and they both knew he wasn’t referring to tomorrow or even the day after.

Lulu flopped back on the pillow. “I wish I knew,” she said. “I know I’ve got options. They’re limited, you know, but they are there. I could go with adoption, I could go with the young mother routine or I could…” she tapped her fingers restlessly on the bedspread beneath them. “Whatever.”

“You know I’m here no matter what happens, right? No matter what you pick.”

“Yeah, I know.” Lulu smiled faintly. “That’s pretty much the only thing I do know but at least it’s something.” She turned her head to face him. “You think I could pull off the Molly Ringwald routine?”

“Well, that movie did have a happy ending.”

“I could probably be okay at it,” Lulu said after another moment. “I wouldn’t be spectacular I guess, but I could learn. I’ve watched a lot of Gilmore Girls. It would be cool to have a Rory.”

“Does that make me Luke?” Dillon pondered. “I think I might like to be a troubadour though. That looks like fun.”

Lulu snorted. “Please, you’re so Sookie.”

Elizabeth and Patrick’s Apartment: Living Room

Will had just discovered three months worth of Veronica Mars on Patrick and Elizabeth’s DVR when a knock interrupted his impromptu marathon. Grumbling, he paused and stood to answer the door.

In the hallway, stood Jason Morgan with a fistful of flowers and a brightly wrapped box under his arm. The two men stared at each other for a long moment before Jason coughed and shifted his eyes to the left. “I need to speak to Elizabeth,” he said roughly.

Will had spent the day with his cousins, had watched them interact with each other and with their father and he’d become aware that something was bothering Ellie, there was a shadow in her eyes. Will didn’t really like seeing her sad because she was too nice for that and she’d offered to move out without even blinking. It was his turn to look out for her.

He folded his arms across his chest and aimed best steely look at Jason Morgan. “Ellie’s sleeping.”

Jason frowned and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “It’s six o’clock,” he argued.

“She had a long day,” Will replied. “Maybe you should have called first.” He raised his chin and tried not to think too much about the rumors of Jason Morgan working for Sonny Corinthos.

Jason looked hesitant then and Will might have actually won this round if not for the creak of Elizabeth’s bedroom door opening. “Will, who’s at the door?”

Elizabeth appeared at her cousin’s side and her mouth tightened at the corners when she saw Jason. “Hey, I wasn’t expecting you.”

Apparently deciding to ignore the annoying cousin altogether, Jason held out the flowers—daisies, Elizabeth noticed, not easily found in December. “These are for you.”

She hesitated, slid her eyes to those of her very interested cousin. “Will, you wanna go watch TV or something?”

“I’ll be right over there if you need anything.” Will sent Jason a look he liked to think warned the older man not to mess with Elizabeth and then disappeared to the couch.

“Sorry, he’s…unpredictable,” she waved her hand. Elizabeth accepted the flowers. “Ah, thanks, but you know, I don’t need flowers—”

“Brenda said to bring flowers when I apologized,” Jason interrupted. “She said it would show sincerity.”

She arched an eyebrow. “Do you always do what Brenda says?”

“No,” Jason replied, “but she’s usually right when it comes to stuff like this and I figured it couldn’t hurt to listen to her for once. I’m sorry about last night. I’m still not sure what I did wrong, but you were hurt by whatever it was and I don’t want that so—”

Elizabeth sighed and turned away to grab her jacket from the hook. “Let’s go for a ride, I could really use one.”

He opened his mouth to say that the snowfall that morning had made the roads a little too icy for a ride, but he saw the misery in her eyes and knew it was more than just him. “Sure,” he said, stepping aside so she could join him in the hall. “We just can’t go that fast.”

Quartermaine Mansion: Patio

Emily wrapped her scarf around her neck and slid her hands into the pockets of her maroon pea coat before stepping out onto the patio. She was troubled by her conversation with Dillon, by the idea that this could be her last holiday with the Quartermaines.

She could never bring Nikolas here next year and she couldn’t imagine living in Wyndemere after the wedding, constantly under the disapproving eyes of his uncle Stefan. She wondered if Nikolas was disturbed by how violently their families opposed their marriage. Emily had always assumed they would come to accept it, but she wondered now if Edward had meant his threat not to attend her wedding and if Alan would follow his father’s lead and refuse to walk her down the aisle.

She knew Monica would be there, that Ned and Dillon would show up. AJ, if he wasn’t in rehab. She knew they would be there, but she also knew that none of them really understood why she was determined to marry Nikolas, to have a family with him. To be his wife.

She hadn’t chosen the Quartermaines for her family, she probably would never have chosen them if she’d had a say in the matter, but they were hers now and she didn’t want to sacrifice that, she didn’t want to lose that.

There was a scuffling, some footsteps and Emily turned to see Nikolas stepping up from the lake. She smiled faintly—he’d taken a boat from the island and docked at their boathouse, just as he always did when he wanted to see her at her home and not deal with her family. The smile faded. He went out of his way to avoid her family and she did the same with his. How was that any way to start a life together?

“Merry Christmas,” Nikolas said. He brushed his lips over her cheek but frowned when he saw her expression. “Emily, what’s wrong—”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. They would find a way to fix this, she was sure of it. “Nothing, just another fun family holiday with the Quartermaines.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and threaded her fingers in his dark hair. “You want to sneak up to my room and make out for a while?”

“I can’t think of a better way than to end this day.” He rested his forehead against hers. “Next year, we’ll be in our home and we won’t have to be apart.”

She wanted to ask where their home would be but kept the words back. She only smiled and kissed him. He was the love of her life and she wasn’t going to give up on this without a fight.

Vista Point

Elizabeth rubbed her hands together and blew into them. “I’m sorry for dragging you out here,” she sighed. She rested her back against the railing and tilted her head up to the sky. There were no stars out tonight. “I just couldn’t sit in that apartment anymore.”

“Your cousin said you had a long day,” Jason remarked. “Is something wrong with his family?”

“Oh, it’s just the usual Drake family sob story,” Elizabeth murmured. “Patrick and I come from a long line of alcoholics, you know, but it’s not until my dad’s generation that they even bothered to label it that way. No one saw anything wrong with a man coming home after work and drinking a few drinks.” She shifted. “My dad was a social drinker, but you know what happened after my mom died. He just…lost all control, but his brother, my uncle—he was always drinking. We always knew he was alcoholic. He drove my aunt Cheryl from a very loving and bright woman into this cold, hard shell. She finally filed for divorce last year and since then, Will’s been living with the result. She started drinking, too, which makes her a hypocrite, and he started to act out.” She pursed her lips. “But I can’t really tell you what this last year has been like for him because I stopped paying attention. He’s younger than me by eight years and I just…” she shrugged. “I lost track.”

“It’s not your fault,” Jason said when she fell silent. “You have your own life.”

“Apparently, Will has been drinking pretty heavily since Lulu Spencer broke up with him and last night, he embarrassed himself at the Haunted Star. Patrick took him home and Aunt Cheryl…” she shook her head. “She was cruel to him, she slapped him and Patrick didn’t want to leave him there, couldn’t. So he brought him to our place.” She met Jason’s eyes. “Today, we went to my father’s apartment. It’s the first Christmas since my mother died that we’ve tried it but I guess after watching what happened to Will, after I blew up at him, Patrick just couldn’t keep it inside him anymore. He blew up at my father for abandoning us when Mom died. They argued and Patrick stormed out. He still hasn’t come home.”

Jason leaned against the railing next to her. “Maybe he just needs some time to himself.”

“I guess.” Elizabeth sighed. “I’m sorry I made a scene last night. I was just—I was upset and I shouldn’t have been. We’re friends and—”

“I didn’t really spend a lot of time with you,” Jason interrupted. He paused for a moment. “You were right when you said that couriers wouldn’t take a meeting like that. Sonny’s…he thinks I’ve got potential and he thinks I can read people well so he asked me to sit in on the meeting. I was nervous last night because I didn’t want to let him down but I wanted you to know that I had already agreed to go with you when Sonny brought up the meeting.”

Elizabeth nodded. “Okay, I can deal with that.” She exhaled slowly. “So, this is what you want? Working for Sonny…like this?”

“Is that—” He shifted. “Is that going to a problem?”

It should have been, Elizabeth thought. If Sonny Corinthos thought Jason had potential, he would move up in the organization into more dangerous positions and she had grown up as the best friend of the police commissioner’s daughter. She believed in right or wrong, in justice and in the law. Nothing was ever black or white, she reminded herself and Sonny’s world was populated with gray. Jason would be a criminal, but she knew Sonny ran a clean operation and a mostly safe one. Everyone knew what kind of man Sonny was.

But more importantly, she knew what kind of man Jason was and his friendship was too important to her. “No,” she said after a long moment. “I can’t say I wish you’d chosen a more…traditional career path but I know how important this job was to you, how much you respect Sonny. Friends don’t ask each other to give up things they love.”

Jason tilted his head to the side. “But we’re not just friends, Elizabeth. I mean, Sonny’s my friend. I don’t think about him the way I think about you.”

Her eyes widened. “How do you think about me?” she asked, her voice almost a whisper.

Jason wasn’t sure how to answer that but he liked honesty, he valued straight forward answers so he just went with his instinct. “I-I think about your mouth,” he said after a moment. The tips of his ears felt a little warm and he thought he might finally know what it was to feel embarrassed. “The way it would…taste.”

Elizabeth never believed that the heart could actually stop or skip a beat like it did in all those trashy romance novels, but that was before Jason Morgan told her he wondered what it would be like to taste her mouth. Her heart more than just skipped, it started to gallop. “Oh.” She blinked and licked her lips. “Well…I can’t say that I haven’t—” she coughed. “I can’t say that I haven’t given the matter the same sort of consideration with regards to your, ah,” she gestured when words failed her.

And because she knew she’d never forgive herself if this moment passed without a little bit of courage on her part, she cleared her throat and said what any self-respecting heroine in those novels would. “I think we should find out.”

“I think…” Jason drew out the words as he straightened and gripped her under the elbows, “that is a really…good idea.” He dipped his head and Elizabeth felt almost light headed as he lifted her just a little to close the distance between them. His mouth brushed over hers, feather light before settling in for a long sip.

He drew back and Elizabeth remembered to breath and tried to remember what that heroine would say next. “So what’s the verdict?” she finally asked, not even recognizing the tone of her own voice. Surely that was someone else speaking. Her voice never shook or sounded so…unsure.

Jason licked his lips and a smile spread slowly across his lips. “A little cold,” he admitted. “I’d like to conduct further tests if you wouldn’t mind.”

“Oh, boy,” Elizabeth mumbled before he kissed her again.

Memories ’round the Christmas tree
Are the sweetest ones that remain with me
It’s a comfort deep inside
Though you can’t stop the race of time
To know that Christmas will always be
– At Christmas, Hanson

December 25, 2005

Elizabeth & Patrick’s Apartment: Living Room

Elizabeth yawned and stumbled out of her room, almost crashing into the Christmas tree in her trek to the kitchen for some coffee. Unfortunately, this was not a normal morning where Patrick would have risen before her and prepared it. So she clumsily set up the filter and poured the water and hoped for the best.

She peered out into the living room and frowned when she saw a tall lanky form sprawled over their couch. Why would Patrick have crashed on the couch when he had a perfectly good bed just ten feet away? She rubbed her eyes and stepped forward and finally realized that while the person was taller than she was, he didn’t have Patrick’s height. And his hair was somewhat lighter than her brother’s.

Why was her cousin Will on their couch?

Too bleary for complex thoughts this early, Elizabeth decided to wait until she’d had at least eight cups of coffee before thinking the matter over.

Patrick exited his room and joined her at the coffee machine, wincing at the strange smell coming from inside. “What did you do wrong this time?” he demanded. She scowled at him—stupid morning person. How did he think so clearly so early? She should do the world a favor and crack him over the head with something hard.

Patrick dumped her coffee attempt and restarted it before turning to his sister. “You wanna go back to sleep until it’s finished?”

She glared at him wordlessly and then sat at their kitchen table. He sat across from her and reached for a medical journal to peruse through until the coffee was finished. Restless, Elizabeth started to tap her fingers. After a few moments of trying to ignore it, Patrick reached over and grabbed her hand. “You know that annoys me.”

“It’s a sister’s prerogative to annoy her brother,” Elizabeth said dryly. Just the aroma of the coffee was perking her up a bit. “We need to look into some kind of intravenous coffee line.”

“Or you can just stay in bed until you smell the coffee,” Patrick replied, releasing her hand. “I suppose you’re wondering why we have a houseguest.”

“The thought crossed my mind,” Elizabeth stifled a yawn. “I thought you took him home last night.”

“Ellie, are you awake yet?” he asked. “Because this isn’t a conversation we should have until you are.”

Jolted by the serious tone in his voice, Elizabeth stood and crossed to the fridge. Orange juice helped in an emergency. She poured herself a glass and gulped it down. “Okay, I’m awake.”

“I took him home and his mother was drunk. She was insulting and she slapped him around.” Irritated remembering it, Patrick tossed the journal back onto the table. “And I don’t think it’s the first time she’s acted like that.”

Elizabeth sighed and set the orange juice back in the fridge. “I haven’t spent enough time with him since Uncle Liam walked out on them.” She returned to her seat. “So what do you propose we do? Arrange for Aunt Cheryl to go to rehab?”

“Sure, we can do that. But I think Will should stay with us until she’s put herself back together.” He shook his head. “I can’t change the way I treated you after Mom died. How I treated Robin and anyone else who cares about me. But I can stop myself from watching another train wreck just pass me by. He needs someone to stand up for him, Ellie.”

“Absolutely, he should stay with us,” Elizabeth agreed. “Robin rented a two bedroom apartment, maybe I can go stay with her for a while and Will can use my room—”

“You don’t have to do that, El,” Will said, appearing in the doorway. “I’m not putting you out of your home.”

“Will, honestly, I don’t care about me,” Elizabeth assured him. Patrick stood up to pour three cups of coffee. “You need a place to stay and you can’t just use the couch. For one thing, you’re too tall—”

“No, I have to go back to my house,” Will said. He took the mug of black coffee and took a long gulp. “You have any aspirin?” he asked Patrick hopefully.

“You’re not going back there-” Patrick began. Elizabeth stood to retrieve some aspirin from the medicine cabinet.

“I can’t walk out on my mom,” Will argued. “That would make me no better than my dad.” He took the pills his cousin offered. “Thanks.”

“I appreciate that you want to stick by her, dude, but c’mon. You’re practically falling down drunk most of the time, you’re getting into fights and your grades have probably taken a serious hit. You’re not an adult yet, you don’t have to act like one,” Patrick told him.

“Look, thanks, but no thanks. I don’t need you guys to fix me, okay?” He took another long gulp of his coffee. “Mom just needs time—”

“Hey, who do you think has kept you out jail?” Patrick demanded. He slapped a hand against his chest. “Me. I’m the one that gets up in the middle of the night and convinces Robert Scorpio not to toss your skinny ass in jail.”

“I only called you because you’ve got an in with the commissioner,” Will said sourly. “If I’d known you’d throw it in my face later—”

“That’s not what he’s doing, Will.” Elizabeth covered his hand with his own. “We just want to help. We know we haven’t been there the way we should have and we’re both sorry—”

“You’ve got your own lives to worry about,” Will jerked a shoulder. “It doesn’t bother me.”

“In any case, you’re staying with us,” Patrick said firmly. “Ellie, when’s Robin moving into her new apartment?”

“After the holidays, I think. She’s staying with her dad until then. I’ll give a call later and see if I can use the extra bedroom.” Elizabeth took a long sip of her coffee. “Now, why don’t we all get showered and dressed? We’ve got to hit Dad’s for breakfast.”

It was clear his cousins weren’t going to give him much of a choice. If he just left and went home, Patrick would only follow and drag him back. When the twins made up their minds about something, there was no talking them out of it. So Will sighed, sat back and finished his coffee.

Robert Scorpio’s House: Living Room

Robin sat in the window seat, staring at the falling snow as she twirled the white phone cord around her finger. “Merry Christmas, Mom.”

“Well, Happy Christmas, darling. I confess, I’m still not used to hearing your voice,” Anna Devane remarked dryly.

Robin sighed. They’d never give up on the guilt trips. “Well, that’s over now, Mom. Is it snowing where you are?”

“Raining,” Anna replied. “But that’s England for you. Has your father driven you mad yet?”

“No, not yet,” Robin smiled over her shoulder at her father who was cursing at the lights on the tree that refused to light up. It was a yearly battle that Robert lost more than he won. “But the thought that I’ll be moving into my own place in two weeks keeps the insanity at bay.” She hesitated. “I wish you were here, Mom.”

“I know, darling, and I do as well, but I just wasn’t able to get away this year. Perhaps next year.”

“Right.” Robin shifted and looked out again at the landscape that she’d grown up with. The house had been in her family for two generations now. Her grandparents—her father’s parents—had bought it when this section of Port Charles had been rural and there had been nothing but fields and trees surrounding it. By the time Robert and Mac were old enough to have their own families, the growing city had started creeping in. A house here, a house there.

Robert had married Anna and they’d always lived in this house, even when his parents had been alive. Mac had married Felicia Cummings and they’d moved to a newly built house a few streets away to raise their girls. But this house had always been in Robin’s dreams. Once, she’d dreamt of raising her own family here. Of graduating from medical school with Patrick and then in a year or two, after the first years of being interns were behind them, they’d marry or maybe they’d already be married and then they’d start talking about children.

It had always been Patrick Drake in those dreams though she felt disloyal now to Stone for feeling that way. But with Stone, there hadn’t been time for dreams and plans for the future. There had only been the precious gift of right here and now. And now the future was a concept Robin couldn’t visualize.

And now, the home she had grown up in was still there but there were more houses now, more streets and there was even some stores. It was a blinding reminder that time didn’t stand still and that things would always change.

But this house would always be here for her and Robin didn’t even have to live there to know it. “Next year, Mom. You can come here and you and Dad can pretend that you still hate each other. And we’ll have a huge Christmas party.”

After she’d slid the phone back in the receiver, Robert joined her, perching at the other end of the window seat. He handed her a mug of hot chocolate. “It’s Christmas, love, you shouldn’t look so down.”

“I’m not down,” Robin said. She sipped her drink and smiled at him. “I’m just reflecting. It’s been a whirlwind couple of weeks and I can’t believe everything that’s happened since I’ve been home.” She set the mug on a nearby table and pulled her legs up to tuck her knees under her chin. “Dad, you told me that you were glad we weren’t involved with the Drakes anymore. Is that because of his cousin?”

Robert sighed and leaned back. “Partly. And because of his father,” he admitted. “I’ve hauled Will Drake in more times than I count and it’s always for fighting, trespassing and lately, it’s public drunkenness.” He shook his head. “Patrick bails him out. Doesn’t want the mother to know. But I don’t know how much longer I can look the other way. Patrick’s a good kid, he always was. But his father’s a lush, his uncle’s worthless and his sister…” He shifted. “His sister’s taken to hanging out with the local criminal element.”

“I thought Noah stopped drinking after the accident,” Robin said, a little dismayed. “That’s what I’ve heard—”

“Well, now, that’s what I’ve heard as well. But sometimes they just get better at hiding it. In any case, it’s a good thing you and Patrick won’t be mixing the genes.”

Robin smiled faintly. “Oh…there’s no danger in that.” She took a long sip of her hot chocolate. “Patrick and I are just friends now.” She smiled at her father. “And Ellie’s not hanging with the local criminal element,” she echoed her father’s words with a teasing tone. “She’s friends with Jason Morgan. It’s hardly her fault if after they became friends, he chose to work for Sonny Corinthos. And he’s only working in the warehouse.”

“Sweetheart…” Robert shook his head, “No, it’s a holiday and we’re not going to get into this today. I’m glad to have you home.” He leveled a glare at her. “Even if you are leaving me again to stay in this lonely house all by my lonesome.”

Robin arched an eyebrow. “Dad, I’ve hardly stayed here since I started college. You’re laying it on thick now.”

“It’s a father’s prerogative,” Robert replied. He touched her nose. “I’m glad to have you home again, love. Don’t you leave again.”

“I don’t plan on it,” Robin replied softly.

Quartermaine Mansion: Living Room

Emily pressed a finger to her head. “Please, God, if you’re listening, save me.”

Dillon shook his head and reached for a scone. Biting into with great relish, he remarked, “Don’t bother. I tried that about an hour ago when Grandfather set in on my hair. God’s off today.”

Emily huffed. “He always is when I need him.” She sipped her orange juice. “Why must we do this every year? How many rounds of Ned’s Not Running ELQ The Way Grandfather Wants are we going to have to sit through?”

“As many as it takes before my mother stops rising to the bait.” Dillon cast a look back to the family gathered on the sofa and the settee. Tracy was needling Edward about the great success that her son had turned out to be, despite Edward kicking her out of the family while he’d been growing up. “You’d think they’d be happy that it’s still a family firm.”

“Careful, Dillon, you don’t want Grandfather to think you care,” Emily popped a piece of bacon into her mouth and chewed. “He’ll be grooming you to take over.”

Dillon shuddered. “Oh, God. Don’t even say those words out loud. Because now they’re out there and they’re floating and they’ll go in his ear and I won’t be able to turn around without hearing about investments and capital gains and all that other crap I could care less about.” He sighed and continued to loiter at the breakfast buffet with his cousin. “You going over to see Nikolas today?”

“We’re meeting at the Spencers.” Emily glanced at him. “You want to come along, see the mother of your child?”

Dillon opened his mouth to accept the invitation before the rest of her sentence filtered in and he flushed. “So you’ve heard.”

“I’ve heard that Lu tried to talk you into yet another brainless scheme. Just as long as it doesn’t involve Minnesota again, I figure I’ll toss my support in.” She set the tongs for the eggs down and glared at him. “Support for Lu telling Will and for you to learn to tell that girl no every once in a while. I love Lulu, you know I do. But isn’t there a point where you gotta tell her she’s on her own?”

“I could,” Dillon said after a moment. “It’s crossed my mind. But she’s family, you know? She’s…” he hesitated. “She’s my best friend. And she’s been there for me. She’d have my back if I needed her. She’s Lu, Emily. I’d like to see you tell her that she can’t count on you.”

“I understand loyalty to friends, believe me. Lucky and Nikolas, they’re my family, they’ve been my friends for years. And Ellie and Patrick and Robin. If any of us needed someone, we know we can count on each other. But, honey,” Emily hesitated. “I think that you need to think very carefully about how you and Lu deal with this situation. If you’re gonna get killed by Luke, I’d rather it be for something you actually did.”

“Thanks, Em. I did talk her out of that first plan, you know that. So I appreciate all the stuff you’ve gotten me and Lu out of. But she’s my best friend. And I’m gonna do whatever she needs me to do.” Dillon set a slice of French toast on his plate. “Just like how you do what this bunch of loons need you to do. You don’t parade Nikolas around, you don’t ask your parents or Grandfather about wedding plans. Because you know that they’re never going to accept Nikolas or his family. And they’re never going to make him feel welcome.” He shrugged. “It’s just what you do for family. You accept what you can’t change and you deal with it. Lu’s impulsive, irrational and half the time, she drives me crazy. But I can’t change her and honestly, Em, I wouldn’t if I could.”

He walked away from her and perched on the arm of the chair his beleaguered older brother sat in. Emily stood at the buffet table for a long moment and finally squared her shoulders and joined her family.

Her cousin was right after all. The Quartermaines would tolerate her marriage to Nikolas, but they would never accept him, never make him feel like part of the family. And that tore at her just a little. She loved her adopted family so much and had worked so hard to make herself one of them. A small piece of her wondered if falling in love with the scion of her family’s worst enemy was a betrayal in some ways.

The Quartermaines had a rivalry with the Cassadines that didn’t quite measure up to the Cassadines and Spencer feud, but it was felt—on both sides of the family, though all the parties excluding her grandparents had been dead for years. She thought that she and Nikolas could be happy with the knowledge that they loved each other and were happy together but family was so important to both of them. Could they really turn their backs on it forever?

“You look like someone just killed your best friend,” her mother said, sliding an arm around her shoulders. “You okay, sweetheart?”

Emily smiled faintly. “I’m fine, Mom. Just anxious to finish breakfast so we can get to the presents.”

Spencer House: Living Room

Lulu shook the box her mother handed her. “I wonder if that’s the new set of door locks for my room,” she teased.

Laura laughed and shook her head, putting a hand on her mother Lesley’s shoulder. “Open it, baby, and find out.”

“Maybe it’s a muzzle,” Lucky called out from the desk where he was putting the finishes touches on the computer he’d bought Lulu for Christmas. He’d built it himself and had been quite excited to give it to her though he knew she’d only use it for chatting and emailing and plotting her ridiculous schemes. Still, she’d be off to college next year and she’d need it.

“Maybe it’s a new brother,” Lulu said sweetly. She tore off the wrapping paper and pulled out a velvet jewelry box. Her hands started to tremble and she looked at her mother, at her grandmother with trepidation. “Mom?”

“We’re a little late giving them to you, darling,” Laura said, “but your father wasn’t ready yet.” She looked at her husband affectionately. “He still thinks you’re twelve.”

“As far as I’m concerned she is,” Luke grumbled. “Daughters should stay twelve forever.” He looked at his wife’s son, the stepson that he grudgingly accepted and to his own son. “Believe me, when you have girls of your own, you’ll understand.”

Lulu lifted the lid and found the double strand of white pearls nestled inside. Her heart pounded as she skimmed her fingertips over them. Her great-grandmother had given these to Lesley on her sixteenth birthday and Lesley had in turn continued the tradition by giving them to her daughter Laura on her sixteenth birthday. Lulu had known this and had been so excited on her birthday but instead, her parents had given her the keys to her brother’s old Chevrolet. She’d been devastated and sure that they had sensed finally what she’d known all long. She wasn’t a real Spencer—she would never be as slick and cunning as her father, as gracious and elegant as her mother, cool and confident like her brother or even sweet and loving like Lesley, her grandmother. She wasn’t a real Spencer and they’d proved they knew it by not passing the pearls down to her.

She’d cried herself to sleep that night and for two weeks afterwards. And from that moment on, she decided to prove to herself and to her family that she was a real Spencer, that she belonged in this family.

And they’d given her the pearls for Christmas now—when she was on the brink of disappointing them forever and having a baby out of teenaged wedlock. The tears swelled in her eyes and she set the box down with care and delicacy before springing to her feet and running from the room.

You left something undone, it’s now your rerun
It’s the one you can’t erase
You should have made it right, so you wouldn’t have to fight
To put a smile back on your face
– Fall Away, The Fray

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Haunted Star: Upper Deck

Robin hesitantly stepped out onto the enclosed deck—Luke had spared no expense for his floating casino—and cleared her throat. “I just want to say something and I promise that I’ll—that’ll I never bring it up again okay?”

Patrick turned from his position staring moodily out over the water and stared at her with an unreadable expression. She felt no encouragement to continue but didn’t see any visible scorn so Robin decided to just continue with it. She would never feel at peace unless she had finished this.

“I’m just going to apologize for the way I left,” Robin said after a moment of silence. “Hindsight being what it is, I could have found a better way to do it or I could have stuck it out for a few more months, I don’t know. But my timing was awful and I can’t blame you or Ellie if you can’t forgive me for leaving the way I did—when I did.” She hesitated. “But I can also say that I did what I thought was best at the time. I wasn’t making anything better and every time I tried to draw you out, you just—you just got more angry with me so I figured that maybe I was just making things worse so I’m sorry—”

“Robin—” Patrick held up a hand and she stopped her clumsy ramble in mid-stream. “I appreciate your apology but really—you have nothing to be sorry for.” He was silent for a moment. “Did Ellie ever tell you that I moved out of our apartment after you did?”

Robin silently shook her head and he laughed a little, a bitter and angry sound. “I left my sister alone in that apartment, not four months after our mother had died. The building went co-op and Ellie couldn’t put any money down to buy it, my dad was completely useless at that point so she asked me if she could use the guest room in my new apartment for a few weeks, until she had enough saved for a new place.”

He blinked and turned back to the water, tracing his hand over the railing. “I told her no. That I was tired of living with my sister, that she’d cramp my style. I basically left my only family to rot in the streets—”

“Patrick—” Robin began, her heart aching for the both of them.

“She cried, Robin, you know that? She was never much of a crier, you know Ellie, always looking on the bright side, always trying to find the silver lining but when I told her that she had to be on her own and figure out her life without my help, she cried. And I changed my mind—I told her she could use it for a few nights, but that was it.”

“But she still lives there,” Robin said hesitantly. “So things got better.”

“My father sold our house when Mom died,” Patrick continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “And he moved into a one bedroom apartment. He stopped going to work, he stopped smiling, he stopped living and I think, if he had had the courage, he’d have stopped breathing. All he did was drink and I just—” he shook his head. “I couldn’t stand to be around him and remember how things used to be. And Ellie, I couldn’t look at her and not see Mom. I mean, she looks just like her. I think that’s why Dad stopped calling her, stopped letting her into the apartment.”

Her chest felt so heavy and her cheeks were stained with tears as Robin again berated herself for not staying for Elizabeth’s sake. The hell with Patrick, Elizabeth had been her friend, her sister and she’d had no business abandoning her. “But things are better now.”

“I didn’t let myself think about anything but me,” he remarked caustically. “Ellie’s pain, my father’s pain, I just blocked it all out. I kept dropping hints that she should look for other places to live, other people to depend on because as soon as I graduated from med school, I was getting an internship at a hospital as far away as I could and I was never going to look back.” His voice was rough now, sliding towards hoarse and Robin only wished she could wrap her arms around him and take away some the pain.

“But right before I graduated, Dad was in the car accident. I don’t if you know how bad it was, but he nearly died. And I sat in the ER, waiting to hear if I was going to lose another parent and Ellie came in and I realized that if my father died, she’d be alone. Not that she wasn’t alone already, but if Dad died, and I moved away, she’d have no one but Uncle Liam and Aunt Cheryl to depend on and I can remember thinking that she’d hate that because she didn’t really get along with either of them. And she started to cry when Monica Quartermaine told us how close Dad had come to dying—that he’d been drinking and he’d slammed into a guard rail and had nearly gone over an embankment. And I couldn’t watch her cry anymore so I told her that she could live with me for as long as she wanted because I wasn’t going to leave her after all.”

“Well, that’s good then,” Robin said uncertainly, hoping he didn’t have anything left to the story that would make her feel even worse about abandoning them. “Noah went into rehab afterwards, right?”

“He’s been sober for a year,” Patrick nodded. “And he and I…we’ll be okay again if he doesn’t pick up the bottle, and I thought, until tonight, that I’d fixed everything. But tonight, Ellie let me have it. She just—she exploded and all that anger and the hurt came rushing out, like she’d been bottling it up for a really long time. And I realized that I never told her I was sorry. And that I’d never seen her cry for what we’d done to her. She’d cried about what was happening, but not for the hell Dad and I put her through. She never once called us on cutting her out of our lives or at least trying to but tonight she did and I just—” He met Robin’s eyes. “I wasn’t a very good person to be around three years ago. You wouldn’t have liked me much so I don’t blame you for breaking up with me and taking off. I’m sorry that you weren’t here for Ellie, but you’ll have to take that up with her, not me.”

“Ellie loves you,” Robin said softly. “And she loves Noah. If she didn’t, she would have cut her losses a long time ago. You guys—because of you, I wanted a brother, so that I could have what you and Ellie have. So you had a rough patch and you were an ass to her.” A smile hovered at the edges of her lips. “I seem to remember a particularly annoying fourteen year old that sent me a Valentine lollipop with a cheesy awful poem attached because she wanted to torture her brother.”

A small grin spread across his face. “Well, it got me the girl so I didn’t hold a grudge for very long.”

Robin smacked his arm. “It did not get you girl—that happened two years later. However—” she smiled wickedly. “It did get me the sneezing story that I have used against you—”

He slapped a hand over her mouth but it did nothing to stave off the giggles that escaped from her lips. “Okay, okay, Scorpio, I think it’s time we laid that to rest. It was eleven years ago, for Christ’s sake.”

“You’re right, which is why it’s a shame you’re still so sensitive about it,” Robin sighed dramatically, dancing away from him. “Come on, Patrick, it makes you unique. How many other guys sneeze into the girl’s mouth during their first kiss?”

Patrick glared at her. “It was your awful perfume I’ll have you know, so it’s really all your fault.”

Robin let out an outraged gasp and whacked him in the arm. “You toad, I can’t believe you’d blame that on me. What a gentleman you are!”

“All’s fair in love and sneezing,” Patrick drawled. He curled an arm around her waist in a familiar move that he’d used their entire relationship. They’d spent a good portion of their six years together teasing each other and torturing the other with embarrassing stories of their childhood and after each session, he’d draw her close to him and kiss her until they forgot what they’d been bantering about.

He’d realized that he’d slid into the old routine about halfway into it and changed course, drawing her to his side and steering her towards the door. “Let’s go back in and I’ll give you the real low down on what you’ve missed since you left.”

Robin decided not to comment on the incident and grinned up at him. “All the dirty details Ellie was too nice to mention?”

“Of course.” They stepped back into the main casino floor and Patrick stalled when he saw the group that had just entered. Not that he drew anyone’s eyes to him—everyone had pretty much stopped into their tracks when Sonny and Brenda Corinthos had entered. Not so much for Sonny and Brenda but the couple behind them. Their friendship had been rumored but not since his accident had Jason been out and about in the social scene and no one had expected shy Elizabeth Drake to be on his arm when he did make an appearance.

Patrick glanced across the room where his father was standing with the rest of the Quartermaine family and quickly took Robin’s hand, leading her to the door. “I’d better head this off before Dad’s head explodes.”

Sonny and Brenda had broken away from Jason and Elizabeth to speak with Lois Cerullo-Ashton and her reluctant husband Ned. Patrick waited until his sister and Jason were alone before stepping up to them. “Ellie,” he said warmly, kissing his sister on the cheek. “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks,” Elizabeth said warily, wearing the universal expression that all sisters wore when their brothers were acting in an uncharacteristic manner. “I’m surprised to see you here with Robin.”

“We ran into each other outside,” Patrick explained. He hesitated for a moment but then extended his hand to Jason. “Jason, it’s good to see you.”

Elizabeth blinked but Jason shook Patrick’s hand. “Dr. Drake,” the other man said evenly. It was surreal to see his best friend’s face and hear his voice but realize that his best friend was, for all intents and purposes, dead.

Elizabeth recovered and turned to Jason. “You haven’t met Robin, yet right?” She looked back at Robin. “Robin, this is Jason Morgan.”

“Ellie has told me tons of about you,” Robin joked, shaking Jason’s hand.

“Robin,” Elizabeth hissed.

“She’s mentioned you quite a few times too,” Jason responded, somewhat amused that Elizabeth had gone to the trouble of introducing him to someone he was pretty sure he’d been friends with before the accident.

“Well, it’s a known fact that if there’s oxygen to be breathed, Ellie will be using it for talking,” Patrick sighed. “Would you mind letting me borrow my sister for a few moments? Because if we don’t go see our father, he’ll come over here…” he gave them a half-smile. “I don’t think anyone wants that.”

“That’s fine,” Robin said. “Jason and I will get caught up—” she hesitated, “we’ll get to know one other,” she corrected.

Elizabeth bit her lip but finally released Jason’s arm. Patrick wrapped an arm around her shoulders and they started across the room. “Are you high?” she demanded under her breath as they drew closer to her father and his irritated expression.

“Now why would you ask something like that?” Patrick asked idly.

“Because you’re acting like—” she waved her hand. “You’re acting weird. You’re being nice and you’re standing next to Robin and you called Jason by his first name and you’re…” she huffed. “You’re freaking me out.”

“It is a brother’s prerogative to annoy the crap out of his sister,” Patrick nodded. “And the best way I can do that is act the opposite of how you expect me to. Now, let’s go make sure our father’s head doesn’t explode, okay?”

“You’re such a brat,” Elizabeth muttered.

Noah had crossed his arms and was taping his fingers against the dark fabric of his tuxedo when his children finally reached them. “Elizabeth Imogene Drake, I expect an explanation—”

“Ellie doesn’t have to explain her behavior to you,” Patrick cut in. “She’s a grown woman and she’s been taking care of herself for a long time.”

Elizabeth’s mouth dropped open. “What the hell?” she demanded, frustrated. “Why are you defending me?”

Noah stared at his son with a mixture of irritation and amusement. “Are you trying to drive your sister crazy? You know nothing does it better than agreeing with her.” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter—Elizabeth, you’re not acting rationally—”

“Dad, seriously,” Patrick broke in again. “It’s just a party. It’s not like they’re setting the date and sending out invitations, okay? So let’s just be cool about it.”

Elizabeth glared at him. “Okay, seriously, you’re freaking me out.” She raised a hand to his forehead. “Are you feeling all right?”

“I’m feeling fine,” Patrick batted her hand away. “Look, Ellie, Dad and I have put you through hell and I figure if you want to get back at us by hanging out with Jason Morgan and Sonny Corinthos, well it’s the least we deserve.”

“I’m not doing this to get back at you,” Elizabeth said, frustrated. “Is it so hard to comprehend that I enjoy spending time with Jason?”

“Yes,” Noah said plainly.

“Okay, Ellie,come on, you’ve made your point,” Patrick remarked. “I get it, Dad gets it—you can drop it now.”

“You are such a jackass,” Elizabeth said scathingly. She shoved him and stalked back to her date.

“I really thought I’d figured it out,” Patrick said, a little confused. He looked to his father. “I mean, it makes sense to me.”

“Me, too,” Noah shrugged, “but since when has your sister done anything that makes sense to either of us?”

Haunted Star: Main Casino Floor

 

Robin watched the Drake siblings cross the floor to deal with their father and smiled faintly. It was clear that Elizabeth held no long-lasting grudge towards her twin and she hoped Patrick could forgive himself one day for grieving in the only way he’d been able to.

“So, I’m guessing you knew Jason Quartermaine.”

Jason’s familiar, yet completely strange, voice broke into Robin’s thoughts and she turned her attention back to him. “Yes,” she admitted. “We all grew up together, actually. Jason, Patrick and Lucky were all best friends and Ellie and I were like sisters. We were all very close.”

Jason nodded and looked back towards the Drakes, where Elizabeth was feeling Patrick’s forehead. “I didn’t know—I didn’t know that Patrick had been friends with Jason Quartermaine.”

“Best friends,” Robin corrected quietly. “They were friends before I met either of them and had been since pre-school. You—” she cleared her throat. “Jason actually set Patrick and me up on our first date—sort of.” A smile flitted across her lips as the memory returned to her. “He’d gotten so tired of us dancing around each other, but never doing anything about it so he invited Patrick over to the pool house on the Quartermaine estate and invited me over as well. He locked the door and told us that he’d put food in there but neither of us were coming out until we figured out what the hell we were doing.”

“Elizabeth—” Jason hesitated. “She doesn’t tell me much about him, I think because she knows how the Quartermaines kept drilling me on how it used to be, how I wanted to be a doctor and what a good son I’d been and she knew how much I hated that.” He looked in her direction. “She’s very careful to separate the two.”

“Because, to her, they are separate people,” Robin told her. “In fact, after the accident, after you were out of the hospital, she would call me on the phone and tell me about the bike rides but she’d never say that it was Jason Quartermaine or even Jay—which was his nickname. From the start, you were always Jason Morgan to her.” She paused. “Do you ever wish you remembered?”

“Sometimes,” Jason admitted. “Monica—she looks at me sometimes and I can see how sad she is that I don’t. I think if I remembered even a little, it would hurt the people who loved him less.”

“I swear to God, that my brother sucks,” Elizabeth grumbled, rejoining them. She slipped her hand through Jason’s elbow. “His life’s mission is to drive me crazy and he knows nothing does it more than agreeing with me.”

“He’s diabolical,” Robin agreed, grinning.

“He’s a crack head,” Elizabeth corrected. She looked up at Jason. “He is not going to ruin my night. Let’s go gamble and you can help me win some money. Ellie needs a new car.” She tugged him in the direction of the blackjack table and Jason let her lead him away.

“Nothing’s more satisfying than confusing my baby sister,” Patrick said, returning to Robin’s side. “Reverse psychology, you know. If I pretend to accept him, she won’t need to use him to rebel.”

“Oh…you are so thick,” Robin sighed. “She’s not using him to rebel. She’s crazy about him—”

“No, no—” Patrick shook his head. “That’s just—it’s not a possibility. I won’t stand for it.”

“She’s right, you are a crack head,” Robin rolled her eyes. “Patrick, do you want things to be better between you and Ellie?”

Sensing where this was going, Patrick sighed, resigned. “Yes. And I suppose that means accepting and supporting all her choices, no matter how asinine.”

Robin patted his arm. “Good boy.” She let her eyes drift over the crowd and frowned when she saw a slightly familiar form stumble onto the floor from the room where the underage kids were playing poker. “Patrick, that’s not—” she squinted. “That can’t be Will, can it?”

Patrick followed her eyes and swore under his breath. His younger cousin was plastered again. He couldn’t even begin to count the times Will had called him from a party to pick him up or even how many times he’d gone to the police station to talk Robert out of pressing charges for trespassing or fighting. “Yeah, it’s Will.” He set his half-empty glass of champagne on a passing tray. “I’m going to have to take a rain check for the catching up, Rob, but I should get him out of here before your father the commissioner realizes that he’s drunk again.”

“I’ll help,” Robin said immediately, setting her own drink on another tray. She followed him across the room.

“Hey, Will, why don’t we call it a night?” Patrick suggested, slinging an arm around the slightly shorter boy in a thinly-disguised attempt to keep him on his feet.

Will peered at him blearily. “Lu?” he slurred.

“If I look like a tiny blonde than you really have had too much to drink,” Patrick sighed, starting to steer him towards the door.

“No, need to find—I have to see her—”

“The only thing you have to do sober up, pal.” Patrick saw Robert Scorpio’s eyes on them and tensed. “Robin, be a pal. Go head off your dad.”

“We’re almost out of here and you’re going to need help loading him in the car,” Robin refused as she helped Patrick maneuver the teen up the steps and towards the door.

After making it off the yacht and folding Will into his car, Patrick shut the door and sighed. “Home to Aunt Cheryl, it is.” He met Robin’s concerned gaze. “Thanks for your help.”

“What’s wrong with him?” she asked softly. “He was an honors student, he was so clean cut—”

“My uncle moved out last year,” Patrick said flatly. “And apparently, alcoholism runs in the family. Aunt Cheryl started drinking a lot and I guess the only way Will could cope was to get in trouble. He’s only been drinking the last few months though. Since he started dating Lu Spencer.”

“Lu drinks?” Robin’s eyes bulged. “That’s just—”

“No, I think Lu drives him to drink,” Patrick said dryly. “Look, I should get him home, make sure my aunt doesn’t…” he shrugged. “I’m glad we had a chance to clear the air.”

Feeling dismissed, Robin smiled hesitantly. “Ah, me too. I’ll just go in now. Good luck with him.”

Patrick waited until Robin was back inside before sliding in the driver’s seat and glancing at his cousin. “Thanks, Will. You just ruined any chance I had at getting some tonight.”

Will snorted. “Robin Scorpio was not going to sleep with you tonight. Or any other night.”

Though Patrick knew the first part was true, he was a little surprised Will added the second. He’d only admitted to himself that night that he wanted Robin back, that he wanted to be with her again, to have that part of his life make sense again. He knew it was going to take time but he’d thought it was a no-brainer. Robin was the only woman he’d ever loved. Of course, she was still in love with him. Right?

Perturbed now, Patrick started the car. “Why wouldn’t she sleep with me?” he demanded, somewhat irritated.

“Because once women leave us Drakes, they never come back,” Will muttered moodily. “I bet it’s written somewhere.”

“Look, if Lu ties you up this bad, then maybe you’re better off without her—” Patrick began.

“You don’t know a damn thing about it,” Will retorted. “I love Lu. And she loves me, I know she does. I just have to make her understand that I’m not like—” he broke off. “I just have to make her see that I love her, that we belong together.”

“That’s usually what the guy says before he goes all stalker, Will,” Patrick replied, now firmly concerned. “Have you mentioned Lu to your mom? Or to your dad?”

“No,” Will muttered darkly. “I can’t remember the last time Mom was sober and Dad hasn’t been around, hasn’t called.”

Feeling guilty that he hadn’t been there for his cousin, Patrick decided it was time for a change. He’d start hanging out with the kid more, making sure he drank less and instead of just dumping him off with his aunt after bailing him out of trouble, he’d stick around and make sure Will straightened out. “Look, tomorrow, we’ll go to the park, we’ll shoot some hoops and you can tell me about Lulu, okay?”

He pulled into the drive way and shut off the ignition. “Look, I know what it’s like to be in love with someone who walks away. Who makes it look easy to walk away. But you can’t know what’s in someone else’s head, okay?”

“Spare me the lectures,” Will muttered. “I don’t want to hear them right now. You had Robin for six years. I had Lu for two months, okay?” He glared up at the split level home that up until a year ago, had housed a pretty decent family. “Home, sweet home,” he muttered, pushing his door open.

Haunted Star: Casino Foyer

Robin was rubbing her chilled arms as she stepped back into the casino. This was not how she’d expected her night to go and though she wished Will were in a better place, she was somewhat grateful for the interruption. She had been falling into old habits with Patrick and in another hour or so, it would have felt like they’d never been apart.

She wanted to make her peace with him, but she could never go back to that life and she had to be careful that he didn’t get the wrong idea.

Lulu stepped out of a shadowy corner and grabbed Robin’s arm. “Hey—” she swallowed. “I saw you and Patrick take Will outside. Is—is he okay?”

“Yeah…” Robin paused and tilted her head. “Lu, is everything okay between you guys?”

Lulu waved a hand and shrugged. “Oh…well, we sort of broke up last week. Will’s not—” she paused. “He’s not taking it well but I don’t think that’s really surprising. He hasn’t been taking anything well. I just—I wanted to make sure he was okay. Is he?” she demanded.

The teen looked so agitated that Robin slid an arm around her shoulders and led her to a sofa. “Sit down, Lu. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing,” Lulu denied. “It’s all fine—I just…” she stared at her hands. “I did something really stupid and I dragged Dillon into it like always and I think I really—I really screwed up with Will.”

“Hey, there’s nothing so bad that we can’t fix it,” Robin assured her. “Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong and we’ll see what we can do about it?”

“You’re just going to say what Emily said,” Lu huffed. “You’re going to tell me to be honest and to tell Will and then it from there, but c’mon, Robin, you saw him! He’s in no shape to be getting this kind of news—”

“Lulu,” Robin interrupted, feeling the strain of a headache coming on. “What news?”

“I’m pregnant,” Lulu announced. “And it’s Will’s and I broke up with him because he’s a lush and he’s self-destructive and I asked Dillon to say he was the father because I panicked, but you know, that’s just making this whole thing worse because my father would literally kill him—”

“Okay, okay, deep breath—” Robin held up a hand to ward off more of Lulu’s ramblings. “You said that Emily knew, right? And I take it that Dillon knows.” When Lulu nodded, Robin continued, “So, we’ll get together after Christmas, and we’ll figure this out.” She squeezed the blonde’s hands. “You’re not alone, Lu. You know that right?”

Lu smiled weakly. “Sure feels like it sometimes.”

Casino: Main Floor

“Should I put it on red or black?” Elizabeth asked, glancing over her shoulder at Jason. But he was looking at Sonny across the room. She exhaled slowly and looked back at the table before putting half her money on black twenty-nine. “Black it is,” she muttered.

Jason touched her shoulder. “Hey, I’ll be right back, okay?” he told her. Elizabeth shrugged—not like he was paying any attention to her anyway. As first dates went, this was a bust. Which wasn’t entirely surprising considering it wasn’t supposed to be a date.

She smiled weakly when she won and raked her winnings in while watching Jason join Sonny at a table with a man she vaguely recognized from the newspapers as Hector Ruiz. It looked like a planned meeting and suddenly she felt nauseous. She quietly cashed out her winnings and exited out to the upper deck.

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there, staring out over the bay and damning herself for seeing things that were never there to begin with. Jason was a friend, he clearly had no interest in being more and she was only making herself look like an idiot by thinking he did.

“Elizabeth?”

She turned and leveled a cool stare in Jason’s direction. “Is your meeting finished?” she asked.

He frowned and glanced over his shoulder. “How did you—” he hesitated. “Yeah, it’s done. Did you want to go gamble some more?”

“Don’t worry about me,” Elizabeth replied stiffly. “I can get a ride home from Lucky or Robin. You can go now.”

Jason stepped out onto the deck and shook his head. “Elizabeth, I’m not exactly sure but I think you’re angry with me and I really don’t know why—”

“I’m angry with myself, I’m only irritated with you,” she muttered. She turned back to the water and leaned her elbows on the railing. “You could have just told me that you had a meeting here tonight. You didn’t have to make me twist your arm to come. And here’s a little piece of advice for the future, Jason. I don’t like being used.”

“Used?” he repeated, completely lost. “I wasn’t—I don’t understand what the problem is. I had a meeting, I was already going to be here—”

“Since when do warehouse workers take meetings with Sonny Corinthos and Hector Ruiz?” Elizabeth demanded. He fell silent, not realizing that in trying to defend himself against an unknown charge that he’d given away his role in Sonny’s organization. She swiped at her eyes, furious with herself for feeling hurt that he hadn’t confided in her about his changing job. But that wasn’t surprising, not really. She’d usually been the one doing the talking. She saw that now.

“So I guess you’re not even a courier now.” She hated that her voice sounded thick and she was sure he could see the tears in her eyes. “The problem is, Jason, that you invited me to dinner with your boss and his wife. And you agreed to come with me tonight. Stupid me, I thought it was because you wanted to spend time with me. If I’d known it was a means to an end…” she shook her head. “Never mind. It’s my own fault—”

“Elizabeth—” Jason began, still not completely following the thread of the conversation. She was angry, and she was hurt and he wanted to make that go away but he’d caused it and he didn’t know how. “I can take you home now if you want—”

“Don’t bother,” Elizabeth said. She pushed past him. “I’ll find my own ride home. I don’t want to inconvenience you any further.”

Jason followed her back inside and tried to catch up with her but someone stepped between them and by the time he could see her again, she was going out into the lobby.

“Your date just ran out on you,” Brenda observed, sidling up to him. She sipped her champagne. “Care to explain how you scared her off?”

Jason drove his fingers his hair and glared at her. “I would if I knew what I did wrong. She said something about being a means to an end and not wanting to inconvenience me anymore. And I think it has to do with the meeting I had to take here tonight.”

“Oh…” Brenda patted his shoulder. “Jason, you have so much to learn about women.”

Drake House: Living Room

Cheryl Harris Drake had been a pretty woman once, with strawberry blonde hair and a peaches and cream complexion. Sixteen years of marriage to a functioning alcoholic had given her a hard look in those pretty green eyes and a chip on her shoulder the size of Colorado.

She was in the living room, watching a movie when Patrick pushed open the door and started to steer Will towards the stairs. She sprang to her feet and crossed to them. “What the hell is this?” she demanded.

“Will wasn’t feeling well so I brought him home,” Patrick replied. “I’m just going to help him to bed—”

He broke off when his aunt reached forward and roughly grabbed her son’s chin. “Sick, huh?” She smiled nastily. “Drunk as a skunk.” She let go abruptly and Will stumbled a bit. Patrick braced a hand on his back to keep him standing. “You’re just as useless as your father, you lousy bastard—”

“Hey, his girlfriend just broke up with him,” Patrick began.

“Don’t defend him to me,” Cheryl spat. “You’re no better than your father or his brother. All the Drake men are useless piles of shit. You just haven’t fallen into a bottle yet. You will, you all do—”

“Well, being married to you, I can’t imagine why Dad would stay sober,” Will remarked with a sardonic grin. Cheryl answered that with a vicious slap that sent Will sprawling in his weakened state.

“Okay, that’s enough—” Patrick stepped between them. “I’m sorry Uncle Liam sucks, okay? He was never much use to me anyway. But don’t take it out on Will—he lost his father too—”

“Oh, don’t come in here acting all high and mighty just because your daddy went to rehab!” Cheryl retorted and she was close enough to him that Patrick could smell the whiskey on her breath. “He’ll fail just like Liam failed and Will over here ain’t no better—”

“That’s it,” Patrick snapped. “I’ve never hit a woman in my life, but man, you’re coming close.” He hauled Will to his feet. “C’mon, I’m taking you back to my place. And I’m not letting him back here until you clean up your act,” he told his aunt. He yanked the front door open and all but shoved Will down the front step. “This family is falling apart,” he muttered.

Will started to laugh. “Falling apart? Christ, Patty, when did we ever have it together?”

I’m not angry it’s never been enough
It gets inside and it tears you up
I’m not angry but I’ve never been above it
You see through me don’t you
–Angry, Matchbox 20

 Saturday, December 24, 2005

 Elizabeth & Patrick’s Apartment: Living Room

 Elizabeth tapped her foot nervously and watched her brother read the morning newspaper. It was already five o’clock—Jason would be picking her up in an hour but her annoying brother didn’t seem to be making any movement to get ready for the party that night. She did not want Patrick to be here when Jason came to the door.

“So which nurse are you harassing tonight?” Elizabeth asked brightly.

Patrick didn’t even spare her a glance as he flipped to the sports pages. “I’m going solo. Easier to pick the ladies up that way.”

Elizabeth sighed and slumped back on the sofa. Shortly after Patrick moved out of the apartment that he had shared with her and Robin for four years, the lease had expired and their building had gone co-op. She’d been unable to buy it, hadn’t saved enough to swing the rent on another place and her father was useless at that point, so Patrick had offered her the guest room—more correctly, Elizabeth had pleaded, she remembered with some bitterness since he’d been trying to cut ties with anyone who mattered.

She had jumped at the chance to keep her brother in her life because she’d been worried that if she didn’t, he’d graduate from medical school, take a job in another state and she’d barely see him. For all his drawbacks and irritating habits, he was her brother and had been her best friend all her life.

“Have you reconsidered going with that thug?” Patrick asked idly. Elizabeth glared at him, and thought about annoying him further by telling him her dinner plans with Sonny Corinthos and his wife.

She cleared her throat. “Patrick, I don’t want to have this argument anymore.”

Her brother finally lowered the newspaper and glared at her. “I thought we agreed that you weren’t going to do that anymore. You know it drives us crazy—are you trying to put Dad in an early grave?”

“That’s funny…Dad used the same phrase just the other day,” Elizabeth said, irritated. Why did this have to be the one thing her father and brother bonded over? “You know, Jason might not have the same memories and a lot about him is different, but some of Jason Quartermaine’s best qualities are still there—”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Patrick muttered. He slapped the newspaper on the coffee table and flicked the television on, surfing through the channels restlessly. “I can’t believe you’re just ignoring our concerns—”

Elizabeth sighed impatiently and started to apply nail polish to her toes—at least she could try to be ready on time. “I’m not ignoring your concerns, but you’re not being fair. Jason and I just go for rides together or sometimes we get something to eat. Or he teaches me to play pool. It’s not like we hang out in the warehouse at night on the docks.”

“You’re just being stupid about it,” Patrick muttered, finally finding a basketball game to watch. “I hear the rumors, you know. Morgan’s a courier for Sonny Corinthos, and you know that’s just going to lead to worse things.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “If I believed everything I heard, I’d think you’d had private time in the every single supply closet with most of the nursing staff.”

Patrick arched an eyebrow. “And do you know I haven’t?” he asked smugly.

“Because half of the nursing staff went to college with you and remember Robin,” Elizabeth remarked primly. “Also…they have taste.” She blew gently on her left foot to speed along the drying. “Are you and Robin going to spend the rest of your lives sniping at each other?” she asked glad to have successfully changed the subject from her plans for the evening.

“If I have my way,” Patrick remarked, “we won’t speak it at all.” His eyes were focused on the game but she could tell his mind was elsewhere.

“That’s just stupid,” Elizabeth muttered, wishing she could throttle the both of them. They’d been friends longer than they’d been a couple. Why did things have to change so much? “Anyway, something’s up with her but I can’t figure out what.”

“Guilt,” Patrick muttered. “She actually had the nerve to apologize to me for not knowing about Dad’s drinking. Serves her right for walking out on me.”

Elizabeth set her nail polish down and reminded herself to count to ten before she said anything. She reminded herself that she wanted to keep things as they were—to not stir up problems. Bust for some reason, with culmination of the past few days, she just couldn’t keep quiet anymore. “You’re a real asshole, Patrick.” She glared at him. “A self-centered son of a bitch. What the hell did Robin have to stick around for?”

Startled, Patrick swung his gaze to his sister and took in her almost murderous expression. “Ellie—”

“I am sick of you badmouthing Robin like you were blameless,” Elizabeth seethed. “You drove her away, Patrick. Maybe she ended things, but you were the one that spent the six months that Mom was sick in a funk and then the three after she died not speaking to anyone. And the only time you bothered to talk to anyone was to bitch at them and be a bastard, so you know, what exactly should Robin have stuck around for?”

“My mother had just died,” Patrick snarled. “I expected her to give me some damn time—”

“She was my mother too!” Elizabeth surprised them both by crying. “I am so sick of you acting like you were the only one who lost her! You and Dad have been nothing but selfish bastards since the moment Mom died and you not only shut Robin out but you shut me out.” She lunged to her feet, all the bitterness and resentment finally pouring out her mouth, too fast for her to think, to pull back. “You moved out of the apartment and left me alone to pay for the rent—rent you knew I couldn’t afford and then I practically had to beg to use your guest room—beg, Patrick, you made me beg you to give me a helping hand! And then you make me feel bad for having someone in my life that doesn’t make me feel like shit—”

“Ellie, come on—” Patrick got to his feet but Elizabeth had finally let loose and nothing was going to stop her now.

“You and Dad walk around like you were the only ones affected by Mom’s death,” Elizabeth continued, tears streaming down her cheeks. “But I’m the one that lost everything. I lost my brother, my parents, my best friends—I lost my home! But I’ve snuck around and I’ve hidden my friendship with Jason from you and from Dad because I didn’t want to screw things up but I can’t do it anymore. I won’t lie and I won’t let you make me feel like I have to be ashamed.” She raised her chin and met her brother’s stunned eyes with determination. “I’ll be late for the party, I’m going to Sonny and Brenda’s for dinner with Jason.”

Whatever else had been in Patrick’s expression disappeared at that announcement—his eyes narrowed and he pressed his lips together. “Ellie, I swear to God—”

“Drop dead,” she muttered, pushing past him and slamming her bedroom door shut.

When she cracked the door open forty-five minutes later, the room was empty and Patrick’s car keys were gone from the table. She stepped into the living room and waited for the guilt to wash over her. After all, things had been going well for her family. Her brother and father were closer to being a family again, Patrick was starting to loosen up a bit and the last thing she had wanted to do was ruin that.

But the guilt never came and Elizabeth realized that she didn’t feel guilty, didn’t regret it. She had a right to her feelings and more importantly, she had a right to her own life. And she wanted her life to include Jason.

She checked her makeup in the mirror, tugged nervously at the top of her black strapless dress, wondering if she should wear something else—anything else. She was over thinking this, analyzing it. This was just dinner, just Jason doing her a favor.

Just as she had convinced herself to exchange the black dress for a more staid blue one, there was a knock on the door and she sighed. She pulled open the front door and all illusions of coherent thought disappeared as she got her first look at Jason Morgan in a tuxedo. Any ideas of pretending that the only feelings she had for him were those of friendship were laid to rest.

She dragged her gaze from his chest—he really filled out that shirt well—and met his eyes. “Ah, hey.”

“Hey—” Jason frowned and tilted her chin up. “You were crying.”

Elizabeth bit her lip and stepped back. “So much for makeup,” she sighed. “Patrick and I had a fight, it’s no big deal. We should go—”

“Are you sure?” Jason cut in. “I mean, we can just skip the dinner if you’re not up to it—”

“No,” Elizabeth shook her head and smiled faintly. “I’m not going to skip dinner. I’m just—there were some things that I said to Patrick that I should have a long time ago. I’m really fine, Jason.” She reached for her coat and purse. “Should we go?”

“Wait—” Jason took her coat from her and stepped around to help her slide her arms through the sleeves. “I’m not doing this right. I’m supposed to tell you how nice you look or something.”

Elizabeth was torn between being irritated and amused. Jason was never one to worry about doing something right—he’d make a decision and go with it, and to hell with anyone who disagreed with him. “Jason—”

Jason cleared his throat. “You do look nice, you know. I mean you always look nice but—” he dragged a hand through his hair. “You look pretty,” he finally blurted out. “Sonny said I should bring you flowers but I didn’t know why because you already have a bunch here but—”

“Thank you,” Elizabeth said, her cheeks flushing. “Flowers are not necessary, but it was nice of Sonny to suggest it.”

He stared at her for another long moment and she smiled nervously, breaking eye contact to glance past him. “We should probably go then.”

“Right,” Jason nodded. He stepped back and she stepped into the hallway, locking the apartment behind her.

Quartermaine Mansion: Foyer

Emily loved her adopted family. She had prepared herself, at first, to despise them. And she had for a long time. She had grown up in lower middle class suburbia and to suddenly be the granddaughter of one of the wealthiest families in the state—well, it had been an adjustment to say the least.

She had rebelled in every way that she could think of—she had refused to eat, she had refused to go to school, she had refused to come out of her room. She was sure they would send her away but they never had and gradually, they had grown on her, this bunch of eccentric people.

Her adopted parents, Alan and Monica, who were so busy with their careers that they often forgot to eat but they were never too busy to see her in a high school play or attend a graduation or help her study for medical school.

Her adopted brothers, AJ and Jason. Jason, who had cut off most of the family after his accident but who had found a place in his heart for his little sister anyway and no matter how drunk AJ was, he had never spoken to her in the cutting tone he’d used for the rest of the family.

Her cousins, Ned and Dillon, whom she loved as brothers. She looked out for Dillon, took care of him and had bailed him and Lulu Spencer out of trouble more than once. And Ned, the stereotypical overprotective older brother who had grilled all her boyfriends. And of course, her cousin Justus, who had teamed up with Ned more than once to talk her out of dating Zander Smith in high school.

Her aunt Tracy, who drove everyone else mad but Emily secretly admired because Tracy didn’t take bullshit from anyone. She was her own woman and she lived by her own rules and Emily wanted to be her when she grew up—albeit with a little more compassion.

Her grandmother, Lila—the sweetest woman that had ever lived. She had a heart that forgave all those who sinned and she had a smile that melted even the toughest of men. She was the heart, she was the soul of the Quartermaine family.

And then there was Edward.

Overbearing, overprotective, arrogant, irritating and a pain in the ass. Edward, who had actually had more time for Emily than anyone else in the family after he’d let Ned take over as CEO of the family investment firm, ELQ. Edward, who had been more than just her grandfather since she’d walked into the house. He was endlessly frustrating because he was always sure he knew how people should live their lives better than they did and what made it worse is that he had an infuriating tendency to be right.

He had told her bedtime stories when she’d moved in the house, and had shared milk and cookies with her in the kitchen when she’d stayed up late to study for exams. He was her favorite family member.

But tonight, Emily was sure she was going to murder him.

“You are being ridiculous,” she sighed, straightening her grandfather’s bow tie. “As always. If Grandmother heard you talking about AJ like that, she’d tell you stuff a sock in it.”

“Lila was always a soft touch,” Edward blustered. “Mark my words, young lady, he will never recover unless he is forced to.”

“I agree that he needs to go to rehab but no one—including you, Grandfather, is going to kidnap him and take him in there in the middle of the night. AJ has to want to get better or else it’ll never work.” Emily stepped back and admired her handy work. “You look presentable enough.”

“I’ll never understand why we go to this thing every year,” Edward muttered. He crossed to the stairs. “Will the rest of you get down here so we can get this over with?”

“We go to the Haunted Star on Christmas Eve because we throw the New Year’s Eve party at the hotel—” she threw up her hands. “I don’t know why I’m explaining something you already know. You just want to complain.”

The doorbell rang and Emily sighed in relief. “That must be Nikolas.”

Edward’s face flushed with anger. “You invited that scoundrel to my home?”

“It’s my house and my daughter can invite whoever she likes,” Monica Quartermaine retorted, gliding down the stairs in her pale green silk dress. She placed a hand on Emily’s shoulder in support.

“Well, I gave it to you,” her husband Alan snarked as he joined his father at the bottom the stairs in a matching tuxedo. “And I don’t want him here either.”

“For the love of God…” Emily muttered. The butler, Reginald, pulled the door open and Nikolas stepped in. “Thank God you’re here. They’re having the house argument again.”

“Ah, this would make the one thousandth, six hundred and seventy first time I’ve heard it then,” Nikolas said with a straight look on his face. He said it so seriously that Emily almost believed him—would have if not for the wink he sent her way.

“Nikolas and I are getting married whether any of you accepts it or not,” Emily declared. “So either get used to it or—”

“We’re having this discussion again?” Dillon sighed as he ambled down the stairs. He sank onto the bottom step and pulled his shoes on before standing to adjust his cuff links. “I’ve heard this spiel almost as many times as I’ve heard the house argument.”

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

Brenda Corinthos had once been a supermodel; her classic face sprawled across billboards nationally and even a few international spots. She’d sold lipstick, perfume, lingerie and on one memorable early photo shoot, a Ferrari. She’d been destined for a long career in the industry as she grew more ravishing as she aged.

But, instead, she’d shocked her friends and family when she’d retired at the age of twenty-seven—at the height of her fame. And when she announced that she’d done so to marry reputed mob kingpin Sonny Corinthos…well, there were rumors that her family still didn’t speak to her.

Brenda Barrett Corinthos was old gossip in Port Charles and Elizabeth had heard about her for years before she’d actually met her. Everyone always spoke of her beauty, of her generosity but they never mentioned her lighting quick wit or the fact that her husband was so completely gaga over her that Elizabeth forgot to be intimidated by Sonny Corinthos the first time he looked at his wife with puppy dog eyes and a dimpled grin.

“So, Elizabeth, you’ve grown up in Port Charles?” Brenda asked, accepting a glass of wine from her husband.

“All my life,” Elizabeth answered. “My parents, too. Kind of a family tradition to stick in one place.”

“The Drakes have been doctors at General Hospital almost longer than ELQ’s been around,” Sonny remarked.

“Well, my brother and my father are the doctors,” Elizabeth smiled. “My mother and I—well, she was a nurse. As sexist as it may be, the women tend to go into the nursing in my family and the men tend to be the doctors.”

Brenda wrinkled her nose. “You never wanted to be a doctor—or anything else?”

“I thought about doing other things,” Elizabeth admitted. “But all of my friends were going into medicine. My brother, my best friend Robin, Emily and Jason Quartermaine—” she shrugged. “I was the only nurse though. I wanted to be like my mother.”

Brenda didn’t miss the fact that she’d mentioned Jason Quartermaine and had been specific to point out that it had been his old self and not Jason Morgan that had wanted to be a doctor. She’d been present for some of the Quartermaine family arguments regarding Jason’s choice of employment and was definitely pleased that Elizabeth seemed to understand that Jason Morgan was another person entirely. “Well, as long as you enjoy what you do, I say go for it.” She paused. “You do like it, right?”

“I love it,” Elizabeth nodded. “And it’s great to be able to work with my friends and family.” She bit her lip. “Most days. Others…not so much.”

“Yeah, I have a sister too,” Brenda said. “We do not get along. But I guess it’s different with twins.”

“Patrick, though he is thoroughly annoying and overbearing, is my best friend in the world,” Elizabeth admitted. “I wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world.” She wrinkled her nose. “But some days…”

“It’s good that you value family,” Sonny said, nodding. “There’s nothing more important than your family.” He grinned. “No matter how annoying, right?”

“Right.” Elizabeth sipped her wine and glanced at Jason, who had been silent for most of the meal and definitely the after dinner conversation. She’d enjoyed herself with Brenda and Sonny, liked to think that she had made a good impression but she wondered if Jason didn’t want to be here—if he’d been instructed to come tonight and to bring a date. The thought that she’d been asked to dinner out of obligation rather than an actual desire for her to meet one of the most important people in the world to him depressed her and she took a long gulp of her wine.

Haunted Star: Outside Lower Deck

The December air gave Lulu goose bumps down her arms but she didn’t really care. What was a little freezing air compared to the fact that within a week, her parents would be grounding her for life? She might as well enjoy the outside air while she could.

She was never quite sure how she got herself involved in these messes. One moment, everything would be going fine and the next, she’d have dropped herself right in the middle of an explosive situation—or more correctly, herself and Dillon. He was her right hand man, after all. The Sonny to her Cher, the Jack to her Jen, and most importantly, the Wallace to her Veronica.

But this was a situation that she should never have tried to drop him into and she was already annoyed with herself—as she usually was with most of her plans five minutes after she set them into action. So she was going to have to stop depending on Dillon and start standing up for herself and she’d start by apologizing to him.

“I thought you were barred from attending tonight,” Emily remarked from behind her. Lulu turned and sighed.

“Yeah, as punishment for sneaking into the principal’s office to find my permanent record and erase a few details.” Lulu frowned. “I would have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for those security cameras.”

Emily laughed and leaned against the rail. “Well, thank you for not giving up Dillon as your accomplice.”

Lulu shrugged. “I’m sure they know—I never do anything stupid without Dillon by my side. He’s usually the one trying to talk me out of it. But I see no reason why he needs to join me in my out of school suspension.”

“Mmm…” Emily rubbed her hands up and down her arms, pulling her jacket more tightly over her dress. “So did you sneak in tonight?”

“No, Lucky pointed out that I could get into a lot more trouble if they left me home alone,” Lulu replied. “I’m just out here to avoid talking myself into another disaster, what about you?”

“Oh…” Emily wrinkled her nose. “Stefan and Edward crossed paths and there was another round of family warfare so I ducked out for a while.” She studied Lulu for a long moment. “Will was looking for you.”

“He usually is,” Lulu grumbled. Couldn’t a boy just take I don’t want to see you again as a final answer? Most would—and had—but Lulu had been trying to shake William Drake for the last week and now more than ever, she needed to cut ties and move on. “I broke up with him last week but he’s not exactly comprehending.”

“It’s a shame,” Emily mused. “Will was such a great kid but he was always kind of the odd one out, you know? Patrick and Ellie are almost a decade older than him and you and Dillon were so tight. And now with his parents…”

“I know he’s having a bad time,” Lulu replied. She tapped her fingers restlessly on the metal railing. “Everyone knows. He went from quiet and clean cut to like—rebel without a clue. He’s always getting into fights at school and he’s just…” she shook her head. “I dunno. It was fun at first, I was looking for a little bit of rebellion but I can’t—Will just started to take it all so seriously.”

Emily frowned at her. “What do you mean?” she asked curiously. “Take the divorce seriously?”

“No, me and him. I mean, he told me he loved me,” Lulu said, her voice rising a little. “And how glad he was that we found each other and how much fun we’re going to have in college next year.”

“Ah…well that’ll scare any seventeen-year-old.” Emily smiled. “Aunt Tracy was always terrified that you and Dillon would end up together but you guys just aren’t like that.”

Dillon? As a romantic possibility? Lulu raised her eyebrows. That had never occurred to her. And now that it had…she touched a hand to her abdomen. “I feel nauseous,” she joked. “I was just standing here, thinking about how much I need him—because you know, he’s my other half. But, dude…” she drew her eyebrows together and shook her head. “I just don’t…we’re not like that.”

“I know you’re not now but don’t be surprised if things end up differently. I mean, when I was your age, I had a few certainties in my life,” Emily told her. “Lucky and Elizabeth, Patrick and Robin—they were going to last forever. I never dreamed that I would look at Nikolas one day…” she smiled. “That I would look him at him and I would see the rest of my life. Things change, Lu, and usually before you’re ready for them.”

“Yeah, you’re not kidding,” Lu said crossly. “Em, have you ever made a really big mistake that just kept getting worse and worse?”

“Oh, God…” Emily sighed. “What did you and Dillon do now? Is it worse than the time you guys ended up in Minnesota? Because I’m telling you, I can’t think of many things that could be worse than the albino, the bus and St. Paul in February—”

“I found out a few days ago that I’m pregnant,” Lulu confessed. Her shoulders slumped. “And I panicked—”

“Jesus, Lu—” Emily’s eyes widened. “Have you told your parents? Have you told Will?”

“No, I only told Dillon,” Lulu replied. “But what makes you think Will’s the father?”

Emily stared at her with an expression of combined horror and exasperation. “Lulu, don’t make me hurt you.”

“Okay, yes, he’s the father but he absolutely can never be told,” Lulu said sternly. “Never. He would just—he would blow it all out of proportion and his parents—” she hesitated. “His mom would just hit the roof—”

“Lulu, if you think you can justify cutting Will out, you’re going to need a better excuse than that.” Emily sighed. “Well, I suppose some things are worse than Minnesota in the winter.”

Lulu blinked rapidly and looked back over the water. “I’m scared,” she confessed. “I thought I was making a point to my parents—that I was just having some fun but now it’s all blown up in my face and worse, I tried to convince Dillon to say he was the father and I think it’s just going to get worse—”

Emily covered her eyes with her hands. “Oh, my God,” she moaned. “You two are going to be the death of me.”

I’m doing the best that I could.
Trying my best to be understood
Maybe I’m changing slowly
I get out, turn around
– Dead Wrong, The Fray

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Kelly’s: Diner

Robert Scorpio’s hair had long ago turned to gray, which he blamed mostly on his daughter and his line of work. There were lines around his eyes and his mouth, giving away the fact that this man had seen more than his fair share of years. Robin stood in the door way to diner for a long moment and just stared at her father, drinking in the changes.

His head was bent over a newspaper, his mug of coffee sitting in front of him. It would be black, with no sugar. And it would be strong. She’d learned that the hard way when she was twelve and trying to pretend that she was grown up enough to stay home alone. She’d associated coffee with maturity and adulthood because no kid she knew drank the beverage.

With one sip of her father’s strong, bitter brew, Robin understood why. And she’d given up using that tactic to prove her maturity.

He never ate a big enough breakfast, a fact that she’d fretted over when she’d gone through her nurturing phase (a phase that had also coincided with home economics class). She’d liked cooking and for three months, she made a big breakfast for her father. He never ate it, choosing instead some rye bread toasted so lightly it was barely warm. She’d eventually given up but kept sneaking vitamins into his lunch—which she also packed. That had continued right up until the day she’d moved out to live in a small cramped apartment with Ellie and Patrick.

Her parents had divorced when she’d been only seven and while she and Anna were extremely close, Robin had grown up in Port Charles with her father while Anna had returned to London and to the World Security Bureau. Robert had stayed beyond to raise Robin in the vicinity of his brother Mac and his family. They’d forged a special bond, father and daughter, and the only thing that had broken it was Robin’s silence while in Paris.

But that part of her life was over now, Robin told herself. She was home and she was going to live her life to the fullest. She was going to mend the fences she had broken and somewhere during the process, she was going to find peace again.

“So how long did you know I was there?” Robin asked as she approached the table.

Robert folded his newspaper and set it aside with a brief smile. “You stood in the courtyard for an additional ten minutes, so fifteen altogether.”

“Good to know those skills aren’t slipping,” she replied, taking her coat off and setting it on the chair next to her father, choosing to sit across from him.

“Your mother called,” Robert said, gesturing for the waitress to come take their order. “She’s worried about you.”

The corner of Robin’s lip quirked up into half a smirk. “Divorced for eighteen years and you guys still use the same code. Mom said the same thing to me when I stopped in London before I came home.” She studied the menu for a brief moment before ordering the same breakfast she’d always ordered. Rye bread, lightly toasted with strawberry jam.

Large breakfasts weren’t her thing either. She ordered orange juice though—she never had acquired much of a taste for coffee.

“When either one of you remarks that other one feels a certain way,” Robin began, “it’s because the two of you have discussed it and are going to gang up on me. Mom’s worried that I worked too hard in Paris. And you’re worried…?”

Robert pursed his lips for a long moment and met Robin’s eyes directly. “You’ve been back a week and you’re already working long hours.”
“I like my job,” Robin answered. “Anything else, Dad?”

“Now that you mention it, your mother and I were also a little worried about the fact that you didn’t call for two years,” Robert said idly, but there was a strain of disappointment and anger beneath the tone that Robin recognized—from her mother.

“I wrote,” Robin said softly. “There—there are things about those two years that I have to tell you, Dad. And hopefully they’ll answer your questions.” The waitress brought their identical breakfasts and she sipped her orange juice. “But I don’t want to ruin the holidays. So can we just table that until after the new year?”

“If I say no, will it make a difference?” Robert asked dryly.

“No,” Robin replied with a brief smile. “Now. I want to know everything that’s been going on.” She pointed a finger at him. “And Ellie happened to mention that you’ve been dating, so I want details.” She wrinkled. “Not too many.”

“Elizabeth Drake, as usual, has been spending too much time worrying about everyone else,” Robert muttered. “But with her family, I don’t suppose I can blame her. Can I just say…that despite everything else, I am so relieved you and Patrick Drake are done with?”

Robin blinked in surprise. “You and Mom liked Patrick. We were—we were all friends. You, Noah, Mom and Mattie. You guys are the reason that I was friends with Ellie and Patrick at all and you and Noah got a kick out of it when Patrick and I started dating.”

“That was nine years ago,” Robert said stiffly. “Things have changed. People have changed.”

Robin pressed her lips together. “Dad—”

“Let’s not talk about the Drakes anymore,” Robert suggested. “Let’s talk about something else.”

“Why does Lulu get to see you before me?”

The familiar voice was a welcome interruption and Robin all but leapt from her chair to embrace yet another childhood best friend. “Lucky!”

“Hey, Ladybug,” he hugged her tightly and drew back. “You’re still short.”

“And you still look like you cut your hair with your eyes closed,” Robin shot back good-naturedly. She eyed her father. “Are the Spencers also on your list or is it still okay to associate with them?”

“The father’s a loss,” Robert sighed with a good natured smile, “but I suppose Junior’s decent enough.”

Lucky frowned and looked back and forth between father and daughter. “Clearly, I’ve missed something.”

“Nothing important.” Robin kept her hand on his arm. “Do you have a second to speak outside?”

“Ah…” Lucky nodded. “Sure.”

“Dad,” Robin said, grabbing her coat, “I’ll be right back.” Robert nodded—as if he’d had a choice and she started for the courtyard, Lucky following her. Once they were alone, Robin bit her lip. “So I just…I wanted to thank you again for coming last year.”

Lucky nodded. “No problem.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. “Are you doing okay today? I mean, with it being the one year and all. I wanted to find you—”

Robin smiled faintly. “I had a bit of a meltdown last night but I’m doing okay, I guess. As well as can be expected. I just—it meant a lot to me that you came all the way to Paris.” Her eyes became distant and Lucky knew she wasn’t in the present with him anymore. After a moment, they cleared and she turned her smile back on him.

“Have you…told anyone?” Lucky asked quietly. Robin shrugged and looked away. “I know I’m only repeating what you already know, but Rob, you gotta tell them. Your parents at least.”

“I know,” Robin bobbed her head in agreement. “And I’m going to. I just—I want to wait until after the holidays. I just want one last Christmas, you know?”

“Hey…” Lucky held up his hands. “It’s your call, Ladybug. You know I’m here for you.”

“Thanks.” Robin tugged her jacket a little tighter and sighed as she saw Patrick enter the courtyard and hesitate at the sight of her. “Lucky, do me a favor?”

“I’m gone,” Lucky nodded, going back to the diner.

Robin bit her lip. “I’m sorry,” she offered weakly. “About the scene in the lab last night.”

Patrick nodded stiffly. “That’s fine. It’s probably better if we don’t talk too much about—” he shrugged. “Anything.”

“Patrick…” Robin sighed. “I don’t want it to be like this between us,” she said. “I want us to be friends—”

“Well, I’m sorry, Robin, but I don’t exactly have any openings,” Patrick interrupted. “Especially not for someone who cut and run when things got a little difficult and didn’t bother to come back until things were all clear.”

“That’s not—” Robin growled in frustration. “You don’t understand, Patrick. You can’t understand what it was like that last year we were together.” She dug her fingers into her hair and closed her eyes. “You were gone. The guy I’d grown up with, my boyfriend, the person that I loved, you weren’t there anymore—”

“My mom was sick, then she was dying, and then she was dead,” Patrick retorted. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t feel all sunshine and happiness—”

“You’re an idiot,” Robin muttered. “You never talked to me, you never opened up. And the longer it dragged on, the more miserable the both of us were. And I know that losing your mom was hard—I loved her too—”

“I’m not talking about this anymore,” Patrick sliced a hand through the air as if cutting a string. “It’s over, Robin. It was a lifetime ago.”

“Patrick—”

“Save it, Robin. We’re colleagues, but that’s as far as it goes.” Patrick brushed past her and nearly ripped the door open in his haste to get away from her.

Quartermaine Mansion: Dillon’s Bedroom

Dillon Quartermaine pressed the stop button the DVD that he and Lulu were watching and glanced over at the pensive blonde seated on the bean bag chair next to his. “Dude. You probably don’t even know the title of this movie.”

Lulu flicked her hazel eyes his way and frowned. “Ah…something black and white.”

“Mmm-hmm,” Dillon nodded. He tossed the remote aside and maneuvered his chair until he was facing her. “You came over this morning and you wanted a distraction. We’ve been watching movies for six hours, Lu. You wanna tell me what you needed a distraction from?”

“Nope.” Lulu reached for the remote but Dillon blocked her. “C’mon, Dillon. Does a girl need a reason to spend time with her best friend?”

“When that girl begs said friend to break his already made plans with other friends because it’s an emergency,” Dillon nodded. “Absolutely, she needs a reason. Lu, how long have we been friends?”

A faint smile spread across her lips. “Since I pushed you down in the sandbox when we were five.”

Dillon frowned. “That’s not quite the way I remember it but, yeah, it’s been like twelve years. Have I ever proved myself untrustworthy?”

“There was that time you told my mother that I pushed you in the lake,” Lulu grumbled.

“I was seven and you pushed me in the lake because I made fun of your bathing suit,” Dillon said defensively. “It was a cheap shot, Lulu and you know it. Now, come on. I’m not kidding here.”

Lulu exhaled slowly. “Okay, so I’ve known about this for a while, but I don’t…think I’m going to be able to ignore it anymore.” She got to her feet and started to pace the large room that Dillon passed off as his bedroom, although it was both a rec room and a bedroom, what with the entertainment center in the corner and his film editing equipment on the opposite side. “I was looking at a calendar a few weeks ago, and I realized that something wasn’t quite right.”

Dillon nodded, though he wasn’t sure where she was going with this train of thought. It was true that they’d been practically inseparable since the age of five (though he was almost sure it had been him that had done the pushing in the sandbox). They were unlikely friends since Dillon was from the wealthiest family in the city and Lulu was from a more middle class family. The fact that her father was Luke Spencer had driven Dillon’s mother Tracy into forbidding the friendship more than once. But Dillon and Lulu had ignored that and Tracy had long ago given up separating the two.

They were each other’s constants, in worlds that changed on the whims of their parents. Lulu had been there for Dillon during each of Tracy’s three divorces and Dillon had been Lulu’s rock when Laura had been diagnosed with breast cancer three years ago. They’d seen each other through boyfriends and girlfriends but their relationship had never been more than that of friends.

There was little that Dillon wouldn’t do for his best friend but he’d been worried about her for the last year or so. She’d used him as an alibi more than once so she could go out partying with her boyfriend Will Drake. Lulu stayed out all night, drinking and smoking and doing God knows what else. He knew she was just trying to make her mark with her parents but he was worried that she’d get herself into some sort of trouble that she couldn’t talk herself out of.

He watched her continue to pace and wondered if that day had finally come. “Lu—”

“How do you feel about kids?” Lulu asked, suddenly. She whirled around to face him with an overly large, bright smile on her face.

“Ah, they’re—they’re okay,” Dillon fumbled. “For being what they are.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that,” Lulu nodded. Dillon felt the twisting of a knot in his stomach. “How would you like to be a father?”

So this is what a panic attack felt like, Dillon thought idly as his chest squeezed and breathing was no longer an option. He started to gasp for air and Lulu pounded on his back. When his lungs were functioning again, he sputtered, “What?”

“I realized that I’m—” Lulu coughed. “Well, I’m late.”

He almost asked for what but then remembered the line from about a thousand movies. He lunged to his feet. “Dude, Lu—”

“So, I went to the store and I bought a test,” Lulu continued, ignoring his outburst. “And I took the test and it was positive and my parents are going to kill me—”

“Lulu—”

“But you know, I can’t—” Lulu’s eyes were wide with panic. “I need you, Dillon. I need you to help me. Please.” She shook her head wildly. “I can’t tell Will. You know I can’t.”

Dillon held up a finger, and took a deep breath. He could do this. He could absolutely do this. He had a lot of experience dealing with Lulu’s insanity, and he ignored most of her crazy plans. Of course, there had been one time Emily and Nikolas had get them from St. Paul in the middle of winter, but for the most part, he kept her sane.

“Let’s just…back up.” He opened his hand, palm facing her, as if the action would magically restore reality to this situation. “You want me to pretend to be the father of your baby, which means I would have to tell the world this nonsense. This world, which includes my mother, your father, your brother, my grandfather, and that’s before we even get to the babydaddy, who would take me apart if he thought I touched you.”

Lulu scowled and folded her arms. “Well, if you’re going to be reasonable about all of this,” she huffed. “I guess there are some drawbacks to this solution.”

“Drawbacks, she says,” Dillon remarked conversationally to his Vertigo movie poster. “As if my own self-preservation was a drawback.” He turned back to Lulu, who just rolled her eyes. “I get you’re scared, Lu. Believe me, I’m not even actually in this problem, and I’m flat terrified. But if we have learned anything living in Port Charles, this close to the Quartermaine family, paternity lies are a mistake from the moment they begin.”

“This is true,” Lulu sighed. She flopped back on the bed. “I remember when Carly Roberts tried to tell Tony Jones he was the father of her kid, only to discover it was some random guy in a bar. Tony went nuts and kidnapped the kid. So…yeah, paternity lies are bad.”

“Exactly,” Dillon nodded. He joined her on the bed, and they stared up at the ceiling as they so often did. “Why don’t you want to tell Will?”

“Because I’m a fucked-up mess, and I figure a kid only needs one of those as a parental figure.” Lulu sighed. “He’s just so angry all the time, and then he talks about being in love with me, but he’s just…he’s a Drake, Dillon. I mean, Patrick is mostly okay, but even he drove Robin to Paris for all those years. Drake men destroy everything they love, with alcohol and anger.”

“You have a point,” Dillon acknowledged, because though Will had been a good guy most of his life, and he’d even been casually friends with his fellow senior, he knew that his parents’ bitter divorce had triggered that destruction gene Lulu referenced. “But saying I’m the father is not the answer.”

“Well, what is?”

“It’s also not my question to answer, Lu.” He turned his head to face her, and she did the same. “But whatever you decide, I love you and I will support you. You’re my person, Lulu Spencer, and I’m yours.”

“God.” Lulu sighed and closed her eyes. “Life would have been easier if I thought of you as an actual guy. We’d be perfect for each other.”

“We’d murder each other in a week.”

Kelly’s: Parking Lot

Jason pulled the motorcycle to a slow stop and turned off the engine. Elizabeth slid to the ground and tugged off the helmet, letting her dark brown hair fall to her shoulders. “Thank you so much for the ride.”

Jason took the helmet from her and set it on the back of the back. “Sure, it’s no problem. Do you want me to have your car looked at?”

Elizabeth bit her lip and considered it but finally shook her head. “No, I don’t know how I’d explain the absence of my car to my father and he’d just…explode if he knew you were involved at all.” She shrugged. “I’m trying to keep things status quo, you know? With…his drinking.”

“I understand. I’m sorry your family has a problem with our friendship,” Jason remarked.

Elizabeth shrugged, resigned to the situation. “One day they’ll realize I’m a grown woman who can make her own decisions. But I’m still struggling to keep them together, I’m not looking to shake things up more than I have to.” Her lips curved into a shy smile. “Thanks for coming to my rescue.”

Jason opened his mouth to respond but a familiar BMW pulled into the parking lot and Noah Drake stepped out of the car. He narrowed his eyes at the sight of his daughter standing so close to Jason Morgan. He stepped up behind her and put a firm hand on her shoulder. “Elizabeth.” He nodded to Jason. “Jason.”

“Dr. Drake.” Jason glanced at the severely uncomfortable brunette and exhaled slowly. “I’ll see you around, Elizabeth.” He started the engine and pulled out the parking lot.

When the roar of bike’s engine was just a distant sound, Noah pursed his lips and looked at his daughter. “Are you trying to send me into an early grave?”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “You’re being ridiculous,” she muttered. She bit her lip to keep the ugly words from spilling out of her mouth. After all, up until a year ago, Noah had been doing a damn fine job of driving himself into that grave.

Up until a year ago, she’d been unable to have her father and brother in the same room with each other. And up until a year ago, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her brother smile.

It wasn’t much different now, but it was better, which meant it could only continue getting better. Elizabeth would continue to bite her tongue to keep her family from hitting rock bottom again. She had no intention of giving her friendship up to make Patrick and her father happy, but neither would she toss it in their faces more than necessary.

So instead of saying what she wanted to say, she linked arms with her father and pulled him into the restaurant. “My car wouldn’t start this morning, so Jason gave me a ride. How would you like to have lunch?”

“Well, that’s a coincidence. I’m meeting Patrick for lunch,” Noah said with a faint smile. “We can make it a family affair.”

Her family wasn’t perfect and there would always be times when Elizabeth would want to rip her hair out but she knew their hearts were in the right places. And that almost made up for all the rest of it.

Port Charles Mall

 

There were few things Dillon Quartermaine hated more in life than shopping at the Port Charles Mall this close to Christmas. Maybe spiders.

Definitely spiders.

He frowned at the list Emily had scrawled for him, dictating the store from where she had ordered their grandmother’s gift. With her insane schedule at the hospital, she was unable to pick it up, and was therefore sending her innocent cousin to do it for her. After all, he owed her for coming to get him and Lulu in St. Paul.

That caper was going to haunt him for the rest of his life. As was typical of Lesley Lu Spencer, the light of his life and the bane of his existence. And now she was in the biggest trouble of her life, and he’d been unable to fix it for her.

He wasn’t sure this was fixable.

“Damn it, Emily,” he muttered. Was this a C? Maybe it was an L. Frick his life.

“Yo, Dillon!”

Oh, no. No. No. No. No. No.

Could you scream in your head? Dillon thought so, because he was giving himself a headache as he heard Will Drake call his name. Act natural, act cool. You don’t know anything. You know nothing. If you run, he will catch you. He’s taller than you.

When he thought he had cleared the panic from his expression, he turned to find the tall senior loping towards him from the food court. It was a shame Will had turned out to be a self-destructive drunk, since the old Will would have known exactly how to fix Lulu’s situation. Dillon frowned when the lanky teen drew closer, because for first time in months, Will didn’t look drunk. He looked…painfully sober. Crap.

“Uh, hey, Will.”

Will stopped in front of him, and slid his hands in the pockets of his khakis. “Hey. Um…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Have you…talked to Lu lately?”

Was this a trick question? “Yes,” Dillon said, because the fewer lies you had to tell in this life was always better in the end. “Um. I know…she…” He coughed. “Yes, well. I’ve seen her.”

“Yeah, she dumped me.” Will cleared his throat, and Dillon realized they were both nervous as shit. He brightened a little, because he could relate to anxiety. “And, she’s, ah, not returning any of my calls or texts, so if you could…”

“I can tell her something,” Dillon agreed. Because after all, if Lulu was going to get out of this mess, this bastard was going to have to be involved, because once Will was involved, Dillon could stop being in the middle of it, and he might live another day. Or two. Until Lulu got in another mess. Frick his life.

“Um…” Apparently, Will hadn’t been expecting Dillon’s response, because now he looked away and squinted. “Um, tell her that I figure she’s got a point about the drinking, but I don’t see the point in knocking it off since she just gave me another reason to drink.”

“Oh.” Well, wasn’t that a cheerful message? He hated people. He really did. “I…if it’s all the same to you, maybe I don’t tell her that. Since it…won’t really…” Dillon gestured helplessly, “it won’t really get her back. If, ah, that’s what you wanted.”

“I do,” the boy admitted. “But I don’t want her to know that.” He squared his shoulders. “You know. Because that would be desperate.”

“Right.” Well, what the hell was the point of this nonsense then? “So…maybe I just tell her I saw you, you asked about her and you said hi?” Dillon suggested.

“Maybe you could tell her to stop being such a stubborn—” Will closed his mouth, which was good because Dillon didn’t want to have his ass kicked today and if Will Drake insulted his best friend, Dillon was going to have to throw a punch.

And that would be all he’d be able to do, because then Will would kill him. The boy was taller and a wrestling star. Dillon…was neither of those things. “I could maybe tell her she should call you.” He coughed again, and wished he could disappear into thin air. Like magic. In a movie. “Maybe I tell her you were at the mall, flirting with…someone. You know, let her know you’re not waiting around.”

Will hesitated. “Wouldn’t that just piss her off? Lu’s not like other girls.”

No. No, this was true. Dillon looked up in the air, because now he had no idea. “So…should I tell her anything?”

“Um…something would probably be good.” Will rocked back on his heels, and sighed. “Are you guys going to the Haunted Star party on Christmas Eve?”

“Always possible,” Dillon remarked. “Maybe I don’t tell her you’ll be there?” he suggested. “In fact, maybe I don’t tell her this ever happened.”

Will nodded. “I like that.” He hesitated. “You know why Lu broke up with me?”

“Um…” Dillon paused. Because in addition to the drinking, which hadn’t fazed Lulu at first until it was a constant presence, she’d been freaked out because he’d started talking about the future. Of course, now he knew why Lulu freaked about the future, and as usual, she’d made the situation immediately worse by tossing the future to the curb. “She mentioned it. But you know…Lu’s a drama queen. In the best possible way, but still…melodrama is her middle name. Play it cool, Will. Don’t…” He hesitated. “Don’t, like, get drunk and try to get her back. It’ll only annoy her.”

Will scowled, but looked away, because they both knew it was more than a possibility. “Yeah, whatever. I’ll see you at the party, maybe.”