November 19, 2024

Please note this is the beta draft. None of these scenes are guaranteed to be in the final draft in this form, in this chapter, or in this order. Thanks!


Chapter 33

The sky glows
I see it shining when my eyes close
I hear your warnings but we both know
I’m gonna look at it again

Don’t wait, don’t wait
The road is now a sudden sea
And suddenly, you’re deep enough
To let your armor down

Don’t Wait, Dashboard Confessional

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Nadine’s Apartment: Bedroom

Nadine gingerly tugged open a dresser drawer, retrieved the clothes she wanted, then tried to close it as quietly as she’d opened it, glancing over her shoulder to see if any of her actions had disturbed Johnny.

But he was exactly as he’d been since she’d awakened two hours earlier — sprawled across one side of the double bed, laying on his stomach—still sleeping. Her nose twitched at that — she’d been awake at the first light and had already gone jogging, had a cup of coffee, showered and was retrieving everything she’d need for her shift that day — the last day in her five-day rotation.

Nadine crept out of the bedroom, pulled the door closed, then changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before looking through the fridge for something quick for breakfast. The first week of their marriage had gone relatively well, she thought — mostly because they only interacted for a few hours a day. She worked all day, and he slept through the morning. When she got home, it was usually some dinner, arguing over what to watch on television, and then going to bed.

And the bed part was still a terrible idea, Nadine thought, sliding the bagel slices in the toaster. Every time, she told herself that she really needed to be firmer in that whole let’s not complicate this thing—but it was nice, Nadine thought, to have company, and she could finally acknowledge that she’d been a little lonely since moving to Port Charles.

Eventually they’d start irritating each other — she’d be off for a few days, and they’d have to figure out what to do with themselves without work to break up the monotony.

But for right now, it wasn’t the worst thing in the world to have someone to come home to, and she decided to enjoy it for as long it lasted.

Coffee House: Office

Jason scrawled his name at the bottom of a contract, then shoved it across the desk at Diane, his attention already moving to Cody who had waited somewhat impatiently to finish the meeting.

“This should be the last of what the city needs to issue the permits,” Diane told him, sliding the paperwork into her bag. “But if it’s not—”

“I’m not having one more meeting,” Jason said with a scowl. “No more politicians, Diane. That’s the end of it—”

“You have made yourself entirely too clear,” Diane said, but Jason didn’t miss the roll of her eyes as she turned away. “Good luck with him, he’s in a rotten mood.”

“I’ll keep that in mind—” Cody watched the lawyer exit, pulling the door closed behind her, then looked back to Jason. “Are you really in the bad mood or did that stack of contracts put you in one?”

“The council keeps putting up roadblocks. Every time she comes here, it’s another problem—” Jason shook his head, tossed the pencil aside. “But I don’t have a lot of time,” he told his lieutenant, glancing at the clock. “So I hope you don’t have bad news.”

“I don’t, just an update from our guy at the PCPD and I confirmed it with your friend in the DEA. Karpov has his hands full fighting the government — they did a civil forfeiture on the entire ship. I don’t like the guy, but that’s a hell of a thing to fight, especially as an foreign national with a shady past. He’ll be buried in paperwork until the end of time.”

“Good.” Jason shoved back from the desk. “And he won’t want to come at me with that heat on him. That’s not his only property I can tie up for a few years.”

“It’s not the solution I was expecting, but it did the job without any violence or damage that keeps the PCPD on us.” Cody rocked back on his heels, watched Jason pick his jacket up from the sofa. “We’re just about done the security upgrades on Mrs. Hardy’s house, so if and when she heads home, her place will be as secure as the Towers. We’re going to start on the Lexington Street house next.”

“Good.” Jason shrugged into his jacket. “Elizabeth’s still on concussion protocol for a few more weeks, so Mrs. Hardy is staying with us. But we’ll both feel better if her grandmother’s place is safe once she goes home.”

“Yeah, no problem. When she heads home, we’ll get a rotation of guys on her place. Do you guys have an ETA on Lexington? Or are you staying at the penthouse for the foreseeable future?” Cody followed Jason as he headed down the back hallway to reach the exit to the rear parking lot.

“I don’t know. That’s up to Elizabeth. Maybe through the holidays. Karpov hasn’t even been gone a week.” Jason hesitated at the door the SUV, considering the question. Karpov wasn’t the only worry on his mind. Though things had been quiet the last few days, Anthony Zacchara was a looming threat. They hadn’t dealt with one another much before the Black and White Ball, but things were different now. Anthony’s hold on reality was tenuous, and Johnny’s marriage tied him to Port Charles for the longterm.

And Anthony was unpredictable in ways that couldn’t be measured.

“I don’t know,” Jason repeated, finally. “But I want the house ready as soon as possible. Having somewhere safe that the boys are familiar with is preferable to a safehouse they’ve never seen.” Though he need to make sure even those were outfitted for Cam and Jake if the worst happened. “Is that it, because—”

“Just Greystone.”

Jason’s hand gripped the edge of the door and he looked at Cody with a grimace. “What about it?”

“Max has been keeping the place running — the housekeeper is one staff, there’s gardeners and a rotation of guards.”

“Right.” Jason exhaled slowly. Sonny didn’t live in a penthouse with an occasional maid coming in. He’d bought an estate that rivaled the Quartermaines. “For right now, tell Max to keep everything like it is. If Francis can use the guards somewhere else, fine. I have to go.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s everything. See you tomorrow.”

Cody stepped back, watched Jason climb into the SUV, then back out of the parking lot. If anyone had told him a few weeks ago, he’d be trying to fit meetings in around Jason Morgan picking up and dropping a four-year-old at some school, Cody wouldn’t have believed him.

But every day since the kid had moved in the Towers, Jason broke off whatever he was doing, rain or shine, and trotted off to sit in a preschool pick up line. Cody snorted, then shook his head and headed back inside. Things had changed drastically since Kate Howard been shot, but he wouldn’t want to go back. And he didn’t think his boss would either, even if it meant Sonny would be up and walking around.

Morgan Penthouse: Hallway

“I could have done that,” Elizabeth complained, leaning against the door frame watching Audrey put laundry away in the dresser the boys were sharing. “I’m not on permanent bed rest, you know.”

“But you are still on concussion protocol, my darling, so—” Audrey lifted the empty basket, rested it against her hip. “Let me spoil you a little longer. Who knows how long I’ll be able to be as active as I am today?”

“That’s a low blow,” Elizabeth muttered, trailing after her grandmother down the hallway and the stairs. “You’ll out last us all—”

At the foot of the stairs, Audrey turned to look at her with raised brows. “Are we quite done with our tantrum? My, it’s as if we’ve turned back the clock a decade or more and I’m asking you to make your bed. Is it really so awful to let me take on a few household chores while you recuperate? Wasn’t that the purpose of asking me to stay here?”

“Yes, but—” Elizabeth wrinkled her nose, then sighed. “You’re right, you’re right. I’m being a giant baby. It’s just—I’m not used to this—”

“You should be.” Audrey set the empty basket on floor, folded her arms. “You should be used to relying on someone to take care of you when you’re not feeling well. To pick up the slack when you aren’t able. But you decided a very long time ago that you couldn’t depend on anyone but yourself and I suppose asking you break that habit in a week is unrealistic.”

Elizabeth rested her hand on the low wall that acted as the railing for the lower set of steps. “It’s not a decision I made, Gram. It’s what was true. I couldn’t rely on anyone. Lucky died, and even when he was around, he was the one depending on me. You refused to let me grow up. Jason wouldn’t stay and let me make my own choices. Nikolas wouldn’t accept that I could choose my own friends. And Emily was always in the middle of her own crises. Let’s not get started with Ric or my family. I didn’t decide that I couldn’t ask for help. No one decides that. They get let down repeatedly until they learn to stop asking.”

Audrey pressed her lips together, looked away. “I suppose that’s fair—”

“And I am beyond grateful that you’ve come to stay here. That you love my boys the way you do. That you’re giving Jason another chance — no, that you’re giving him his first chance to show you who he really is. But give me a break, okay? It’s not easy to throw out a lifetime of experience over night. Because you won’t be here forever, Gram. You’ll go back to your house and your life. And Jason can’t possibly pull double duty with drop off and pick up forever. That’s not how life works. You’re both overcompensating, and you know it. So stop acting like there’s something wrong with me because I don’t want to get used to something that won’t last.”

As she spoke, the door behind her opened and Cameron bounced in, Jason on his heels, one hand gripping the door knob, the other holding Cameron’s discarded backpack. And the expression on his face told Elizabeth that he’d heard what she’d said.

Patrick’s Condo: Living Room

Patrick barely grunted when Robin set the pizza box in the middle of the table, his head bowed over a stack of paperwork that included the budget, reports from Risk Management, patient charts, and so many other things he’d lost track of what he’d dragged home. No matter what he seemed to do, the to-do pile just seemed to keep growing and growing.

“I’m not hungry,” he said, then looked up again, frowning at the pizza box. “Again?”

“You were supposed to come home early and make pasta.” Robin dropped a slice of pizza on her plate, then lowered herself into the chair across from him. “But then there was an emergency, and well—” She rubbed her belly. “The baby wanted pizza.”

Patrick winced, then sat back, dropping his pen on the table. “I forgot. Damn it.”

“It’s okay. I like pizza. The house Maxie and I looked at today is two blocks from Mama Mangione’s.” She wiggled her brows. “Oh, and across the street from Liz on Lexington.”

“Oh.” He furrowed his brow. “That’s the two-story colonial right? You liked that even before you went to see it.”

“Yeah, and, well, I forgive you for not coming home early if you forgive me for putting in an offer.” When Patrick just stared at her, Robin shrugged. “You told me you didn’t care. I can call the agent—”

“No. No. That’s fine—” He put his head in his hands. “I’m sorry. I’m leaving all the important stuff up to you, and—”

“Patrick.” When he looked up, she continued, “We can’t keep going on like this. Not because I can’t handle it. I can. I can buy a house without you. I can cook dinner—or dial—I can do these things, and it doesn’t bother me. But you are literally trying to be everything to everyone and it’s just not possible. You know that, don’t you?”

“I—” Patrick fiddled his pen. “I should be able to do this. I watched Alan do both jobs like it didn’t even faze him—”

“And he’d had years of practice by then. He also wasn’t always the best at the job,” Robin told him. “You can’t measure yourself by Alan. What the hospital is facing right now — cleaning up after a nurse who killed her parents, the threat of losing our accreditation, it’s so much pressure, and instead of taking it seriously, the board just seems to keep cutting our feet from under us.”

He rubbed his cheek. “The nursing staff is a disaster. Even without the dispensary machines. We’re short-staffed, and the loss of the nursing program is crippling us. We’re not keeping up with research, so we can’t attract grants. I don’t know how to fix any of this.”

“One step at a time,” Robin said. “First, you actually don’t have to read everything. You have an assistant. Let her be the gatekeeper and only the most important things end up on your desk. And the nursing situation—” She pressed her lips together. “I don’t know. It’s a bigger problem than just you. Let’s just focus on getting through the here and now. Let’s eat our pizza, talk about the house, and—”

She broke off at the sound of a knock on the door. Patrick held up a hand. “I got it. Knowing my luck, it’s more bad news.”

When he pulled open the door, it took him a minute to process who he found on the other side. “Anna?”

“What?” Robin pulled herself to her feet, and then squealed, barreling past Patrick, knocking him out of the way when she caught sight of Anna Devane on the other side of the door. “You’re here!”

Patrick rubbed his shoulder. “Hey, Anna. It’s good to see you.”

“You, too. And look at you—” Anna laid a hand on Robin’s belly. “There’s my precious little girl. Oh, she’s awake and kicking!”

“You’re not kidding,” Robin said with a roll of her eyes. “It really is so great to see you. Please tell me you can stay for a few days! I’m looking at houses this week, and it’d be great to have your opinion—”

Anna wrapped her arm around Robin’s shoulders and squeezed. “Well then, you’ll be happy to hear that I’ll be in Port Charles for the foreseeable future.”

Robin’s eyes lit up. “Really? You’ll be here when the baby is born?”

“I’ve missed so much of your life, my darling girl.” Anna hugged Robin again. “I couldn’t bear to miss another moment. As long as Patrick doesn’t mind me hanging around—” She looked at Patrick, her eyes raised expectantly.

Patrick furrowed his brow. “No, no. I mean, we don’t have a second room right now—”

“I’m staying with Mac, so don’t worry about anything. I’m just here to lend a hand and spend some time with my daughter.”

“This is the best news I could have gotten,” Robin told her. “You’re really here, and you’re not going anywhere.”

“No where else I’d rather be.”

Zacchara Estate: Terrace

Claudia leaned against the low stone terrace, a glass of wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other. She ignored the sound of the doors opening behind her, and the footsteps against the flag stones until Ric sidled up next to her.

“Those things will kill you,” he told her, lifting his own mug of coffee to his lips.

“Someone who expects to live a long life might care—” She exhaled a long thin stream of smoke in his face and he grimaced. “But we both know reaching fifty isn’t normal in this world. Look at your brother.”

Ric pressed his lips together, then looked out over the view. “He could wake up.”

She snorted, took another drag. “Okay. I didn’t know we were exchanging fantasies. I could tell you one about tying you to my headboard—” When he just scowled at her, Claudia shrugged a shoulder. “Did you have a point in coming out here or did you just want to bother me?”

“Things have settled down,” Ric said. “It’s been almost two weeks since what happened to Kate. A week since Sonny.” He paused. “Since your brother got married and moved out. He hasn’t come back once.”

“No, he hasn’t. You wanna take bets how long my father puts up with that before taking action? I could put fifty—”

“I’m serious, Claudia. When your father gets anxious, he tends to make it everyone’s problem,” Ric cut in. “The last time he threatened to snatch of Jason’s kids—”

“Hey, hey, give him some credit. He was just gonna take the bastard, not the actual heir to Daddy’s throne.”

“I don’t know why I bother with you,” Ric muttered. “You’re mentally incapable of taking anything seriously—”

She released another stream of smoke in his face, smirked. “And you take everything too literally, Ric. You’re so busy trying to be six steps in front of everyone that you can’t enjoy the here and now. Like you said, things are quiet. Jason made his deal with the devil, didn’t he? John put Sonny in a coma, but since Jason wants those rugrats to keep breathing, he’s not gonna do a damn thing.”

“What about your father? We don’t know what he’s planning—”

“What makes you so sure he’s planning anything?”

“Why arrange to have Kate shot if he wasn’t going to do anything about it?” Ric demanded. When Claudia looked away, he nodded. “Good. You’re not denying it—”

“Look, all I know is that my father didn’t pull the trigger, okay?” Claudia dropped the cigarette, ground it out with her heel. “He’s in a wheelchair, so the damage he can do is limited to the power he wields, and that goes through your father, not mine. So whatever Daddy wants to do, it usually has Trevor’s seal of approval.”

“Don’t remind me,” he muttered, then dragged a hand through his hair, disheveling the dark locks. “Your father doesn’t do anything in small measures. You know what he was planning to do if Johnny didn’t check in on Anthony’s arbitrary schedule.”

Claudia wrinkled her nose. “He was just going to take the kid for a few hours. You act like he was going to do something ruthless. If Daddy was serious, he’d have taken the little one. Or the nurse.”

“Are you kidding me? You’ve come into contact with Jason. You saw him after Michael went into that coma. What do you think would have happened if Anthony had kidnapped Cameron?”

She pressed her lips together, absorbed the information. “You have to understand. My father wouldn’t have seen it as a terrible thing. He doesn’t—he doesn’t value people the way others do. The older kid isn’t Jason’s biological kid. No blood involved.”

“That shouldn’t matter—”

“To Jason, no, and maybe a lot of people. But my father? He’d would see it like  grabbing a nephew or a cousin. A warning shot. Look at how close I can get to you.” Claudia set her wine on the ledge, dug out her pack of cigarettes from her pocket. “He wouldn’t have hurt the kid. Not the first time.”

“You can’t think that matters—”

“I’m sorry, but didn’t you kidnap a pregnant woman and threaten to kill her and take her baby?” Claudia demanded. “You’re going to stand there in moral outrage over this? Are you serious—” Her brows lifted. “Oh. Oh, no it’s not morality you’re protesting. It’s who my father would have hurt. The nurse used to be your wife—”

“That has nothing to do with it—”

“No, no—” She smirked, took another drag. “No, it’s clear to me now. You were around when she was pregnant—that’s when you got divorced, isn’t it? Did she cheat on you, Ricky?” Claudia stepped closer to him, her eyes dancing with glee. “Is that why it fell apart?”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ric said finally, his tone tight and controlled. “I’m just cautioning you not to play around with Elizabeth’s children. Jason accepted Ian Devlin as Michael’s shooter because he needed it to be true. But you open that door again, you’re not going to like what’s on the other side.”

Claudia’s smile fell. “What does that mean?”

“Your secrets, Claudia, aren’t as safe as you think they are. So you had better hope that your father doesn’t do anything stupid and doom us all.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

They hadn’t spoken alone all evening — there hadn’t been a chance with Cameron full of news and excitement about a spelling contest he’d won. Then Jake had woken from his nap, and the afternoon had just gotten away from them all —

But it weighed on Elizabeth that Jason might have heard what she’d said to her grandmother and internalized it as criticism. They’d come a long way since that night he’d nearly walked out on her, when they’d had that terrible fight. But that didn’t mean everything had been resolved.

He still wasn’t talking a lot about Sonny — or going to see him — and she was still hesitant to believe that everything that had happened in the last few weeks would stick.

So she waited until dinner was over, until Spinelli had left to spend the night with Maxie, and they’d tucked the boys in. That was new, too, Elizabeth thought. Jason being there for the evening, keeping a boisterous Cameron from waking up Jake who went to sleep earlier. Jason sat in the living room while Cameron played, showing  Jason every single item in their toy box, making up a new story to play out with his super hero figurines and assigning roles to Jason who did his best to play them out.

The first time they’d done this, Elizabeth had watched with fascination as tough, gruff Jason Morgan pretended to play the role of Deadpool and accepted every critique and suggestion from her four-year-old son. Cameron was patient with Jason, and seemed to almost pity the older man who had explained he didn’t remember playing as a kid because of his accident.

The second night, she’d reached for her sketch pad, and now by the fifth time she’d watched Jason do a much better impression of the comic book hero than she’d managed in more than a year, she’d filled more than half of her pad. Her fingers itched for her watercolors, something that hadn’t happened in months. Maybe longer.

But too soon, the clock struck eight, and Cameron reluctantly cleaned up, piling the toys back in the box. Audrey remained downstairs to watch television, and Jason and Elizabeth headed up the stairs with Cameron to wash and get ready for bed.

All the way, Cameron tried his usual tricks. He was four and half now, he’d told them. The half was important, so he should be able to stay up a half hour later. And he needed to tell them something else that happened in school, and the funny thing he’d watched on television, and—

But soon enough, Cameron was tucked away in bed, falling asleep almost before Elizabeth had reached the second page of their Percy Jackson book. She set the book on the table between the bed and the crib, smoothed the blanket over him, then kissed his cheek.

She found Jason lingering in the hallway, just as he had every night for the last week, and the guilt over her words washed over again.

“Hey, do you—” Elizabeth bit her lip. “Do you have to go out or anything—”

“No.” Jason seemed hesitant, too, and this wasn’t new either. When the boys were around, they seemed sure of themselves. She knew how to be a mother, and he was rediscovering fatherhood—

But being in a relationship? That was harder. She remembered Bobbie’s advice to her. They’d never really done the relationship thing, and now they’d jumped headfirst into living together, being a family — if she was feeling unsure about everything, maybe he felt the same.

“Then we have a little time for you and me.” She took his hand, and tugged him gently — she didn’t have to try very hard. He followed her inside the bedroom, and watched as she closed the door.

“If I ask how you’re feeling, am I going to be in trouble?” Jason asked.

Elizabeth looked at him, then tipped her head to the side and smiled. “No. I’m okay. Sore. A little tired. I’m definitely pushing too hard to get back to normal, but it does help that you and Gram are doing so much of the heavy lifting, even if I complain about it. And I haven’t had a headache today.”

“Good.” He exhaled on a short breath. “Good. Uh, was there something you wanted to talk about?”

“Yeah, but first—” She leaned up on her toes and kissed him, lightly at first, her hands resting at his collarbone. His hands came up, framing her face, careful to avoid the bruise still healing along her cheek bone. The embrace deepened, her hands sliding under his arms, wrapping around his shoulders.

“I’m not feeling good enough for that yet,” she said, pulling back with a wrinkle of her nose. “Can’t believe I get to share a bed with you every night and all I get to do is sleep.”

Jason’s laugh spread over her, warming all of her like a hot chocolate. “It’s okay. I like waking up next to you.” He kissed the tip of her nose, then led her over to the large arm chair by the window. He pulled her down with him, carefully to avoid the healing wound from her surgery. She leaned into his arms. “If you’re worried about earlier,” he said, his breath fluttering the hair at her temple, “it’s okay.”

“I was just—”

“Saying how you feel. It’s okay.”

“I saw your face.” Elizabeth sat up slightly so that their eyes met. “You didn’t look like it was okay.”

“I…” Jason faltered then tipped his head back. “Okay. Maybe in the moment. But you know, it’s been a few hours. And you’re not wrong. I won’t be able to pick Cameron up every day. Or drop him off. There will be days when it’s you. Or maybe we can work something out with Carly. She’s tried to spend more time with Morgan since…since last spring. But right now, I can make it happen, and I like doing it.”

“Really? It’s usually the bane of my existence.”

“I like the extra time with Cameron,” Jason said, and she fell silent. “He talks like you do. Anything and everything that pops in his head. The way you used to,” he corrected softly. “When we first met. Before you started weighing every word and worrying if it would hurt someone.”

“You do that, too.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jason picked up her hand, traced a pattern in her palm. “I thought about what we talked about the other night. About how I’m waiting for you to go, and you’re waiting for me to let you. That’s not something we fix in a week.”

“No.” Pressure built behind her eyes and she closed him. “But I want to.”

“One day at a time. It’s all we can do. One moment.”

“Things happen fast,” she said. “But you have to live through them slow. You told me that once, a long time ago. Do you remember?”

“I remember everything,” he told her and she smiled. She touched his lips with the tips of her fingers.

“We’re going to be okay, you and me. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

PCPD: Commissioner’s Office

Mac glanced up at the light knock on the door frame, then grinned. “Well, where did you come from?”

“A stork brought me,” Anna said, stepping inside. “What are you doing at work so late?” She closed the door.

“Too much paperwork,” Mac complained, rising from his desk and coming around to embrace his former sister-in-law. “You’re here to see Robin?”

“Yes, I’ve just come from the condo. I told her I’d be using your guest room so she wouldn’t worry about me, I hope that’s all right.”

“Of course, of course. Any time. The house has been empty—” Mac’s expression faltered and he looked down, took a deep breath. “Anyway, plenty of room. How long are you staying?”

“Well, hopefully long enough to meet my granddaughter,” Anna said, “though that depends on you.”

“On me?”

“Yes. I’m hoping you’ll bring me up to date on everything you know about Jason Morgan and Andrei Karpov.”

September 1, 2022

Timeline: This is set in December 1997. Elizabeth and her generation are aged up (Liz is about 22, 23). She moved to PC for nursing school after college in June 1997. Jason jilted Brenda at the altar for Sonny and took over the business. He’s spent the last two months looking after Brenda (who does not want him near her) and dealing the business. He and Robin broke up in August, and she left for Paris. Jason really only talks to people in the business, and Luke and Mike. Relationship to the Qs is basically Emily and Lila, though he and AJ are civil.

These are the final two scenes in Chapter 1


Chapter 1

Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave
Without leaving a piece of youth

And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change, the less you feel

Tonight, Tonight, Smashing Pumpkins


Friday, December 5, 1997

Luke’s: Main Floor

“I’m going to get another drink,” Elizabeth called to Emily as her best friend let her cousin, Justus Ward, twirl her out on to the dance floor.

“Get me another glass—” Emily replied, then giggled as Justus dipped her down, then whirled her into the crowd.

Elizabeth weaved in and out of that same crowd as she edged her way from the tables by the stage towards the bar at the back of the main room. She loved Luke’s most of the time — it had the best music, cheap drinks, and the food didn’t make you vomit the next morning, but man, she hated when it was so loud you couldn’t even hear yourself think.

She saw a familiar blonde a few feet away, and Elizabeth immediately turned and made a beeline for the opposite direction. The absolute last thing she wanted was to run directly into Carly Roberts. She’d had quite enough of her at the hospital—

But unfortunately, in her quest to avoid blondes—she forgot the other person she was avoiding—and crashed right into him. “Ooof—” She grunted. “Sorry—”

“No problem—” Lucky Spencer’s eyes lit up. “Liz. Hey. I was hoping Em would convince you to come tonight.”

“Oh.” If Emily thought she was doing her a favor—Elizabeth crossed her arms, covering the deep neckline of her sapphire dress. The last time she’d spoken to Lucky, both of them had been wearing a lot less—and she was still pissed he’d forced her to break up with him half-naked.

If he’d just waited to ask stupid questions until the next day—

“You haven’t returned my calls—”

“No, I haven’t.” She pursed her lips. “I’m just going to go—” She tried to edge around him, but Lucky snagged her elbow “Lucky, come on—”

“No, you come on—what kind of girl does that? Three months, and you act like I don’t exist—”

“We dated for six weeks,” Elizabeth said, resisting the urge to stomp her foot. “Six weeks. In the summer. It’s literally an entire season later, Lucky. Go find someone else.”

“But you—”

“But I said no, and then I ignored you. I don’t know what other hint you need—” She put her hands up when he tried to reach for her again. “We had a little fun and it fizzled out, okay?”

“Not for me—”

“Well, it did for me, and that’s all that matters. I don’t have an obligation to date you until we’re both not interested.”

“You won’t even tell me why—”

“Jesus, Lucky. What do you want me to say?” She threw up her hands. “I’m supposed to give you an itemized list?”

“No, but—” He clenched his jaw. “You could have at least told me we were done—”

“I did. You keep choosing not to believe me—and I am done having this conversation with you right now.” She saw a break in the crowd and took advantage, and slipped between two different groups.

That was the last time she ever did a favor for Emily. If that little brat thought she was helping—

Elizabeth spied the front door and breathed a sigh of relief. Air. She just wanted a little bit of air. And maybe to make a run for it. She had her purse. Her jacket was somewhere—but the purse was all that mattered.

Her mind made up, Elizabeth headed for the entrance.

Luke’s: Entrance

“Fashionably late,” Luke said as Jason made his way to the entrance, Reinaldo trailing behind him. “Didn’t think you were coming.”

“Had to wait for the right time,” Jason grunted, looking out over the parking lot. For a few weeks, he’d parked cars out here. And now he owned shares in the club. No, Sonny owned them, he thought. Jason was just looking after them for a while.

Sonny would be back just as soon as it was safe to return. Jason was sure of it.

“You, ah, send that message we talked about?” Luke asked. “Because I got a call from one of my old friends down on Courtland. There’s some chatter Moreno’s planning something big.”

Jason furrowed his brow. “No, that’s—” That’s why he was here now. So he’d have an alibi when the body of the messenger showed up at the Oasis tonight. He clenched his jaw, swept his eyes over the parking lot again. He saw Luke’s stepson, Nikolas Cassadine, about twenty feet away, by a gray Jaguar. But no one else.

“First you’re hearing about it?” Luke asked, drawing Jason’s attention back to him. “That’s not good.”

“No, it’s not. Your guy, will he talk to—”

Behind them, the front door to the club lurched open and a brunette emerged, almost at a sprint. She leaned against the closed door, closing her eyes. “Never again.”

“Lizzie?” Luke said, arching his brows. “You okay, kid?”

The woman—Lizzie—straightened, the strap of her black purse falling down her shoulder—her bare shoulder, Jason noticed. No coat covering the dress, which only fell to mid-thigh. Her brown hair looked as if she’d been running, half of it sliding down her neck.

“Oh. No. Yes, I mean.” She made a face. “And I hate that name, you know that, Luke.”

Luke grinned. “I know that. It’s just funny—” His smile faded. “You’re missing a coat. What happened?”

“Private parties,” Elizabeth bit out. “You’d think they’d cap the guest list. You can’t breath in there—” She flicked her eyes to Jason, seeming to notice him for the first time. “Oh, you’re—I’m interrupting something.”

“Listen—” Luke started to take off his jacket, but he stopped, turning back to the parking lot, his eyes suddenly alert. “Did you—”

Jason heard it just a moment before the Cadillac swung into the parking lot, and the window rolled down. The first gun shots rang out as Jason grabbed Elizabeth by the arm and shoved her down to the ground, covering her body as bullets pierced the side of the building just centimeters from where she’d been standing.

Timeline: This is set in December 1997. Elizabeth and her generation are aged up (Liz is about 22, 23). She moved to PC for nursing school after college in June 1997. Jason jilted Brenda at the altar for Sonny and took over the business. He’s spent the last two months looking after Brenda (who does not want him near her) and dealing the business. He and Robin broke up in August, and she left for Paris. Jason really only talks to people in the business, and Luke and Mike. Relationship to the Qs is basically Emily and Lila, though he and AJ are civil.


Chapter 1

Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave
Without leaving a piece of youth

And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change, the less you feel

Tonight, Tonight, Smashing Pumpkins


Friday, December 5, 1997

Penthouse: Living Room

“It’s a bullshit deal, and you know it.”

“It’s disrespectful, that’s what it is—”

Jason Morgan ignored both scowling men standing by the mini bar and went to the window. His former boss had picked this penthouse, this side of the building because he liked to stare out over the skyline of Port Charles, to imagine his power growing until he controlled everything he saw.

All this view did was remind Jason that it was his problem for now, and he was irritated with people who kept pushing him to do things he’d already refused—

He turned back to Johnny O’Brien and Benny Abrams, his mouth set. “I didn’t say I’d take the deal. I just said we’re not gonna do what Johnny wants.”

“We can’t just let Anthony Moreno push us around—”

“Who said that’s what I’m doing?” Jason demanded, cutting Johnny off where he spoke. He thrust his arms out, fed up with the constant arguing. “We’re telling him to take his offer and shove it—”

“And no one is happier than I am,”  Benny said patiently, adopting the conciliatory tone that told Jason the two of them had put their heads together and decided to do a good cop/bad cop routine on him. Like he was an idiot who didn’t know what he was doing—just like everyone else who thought he’d crumble under the weight—

Sonny Corinthos had trusted Jason to keep his growing empire steady until he could return. And that was exactly what Jason planned to do. His way.

“But,” Benny continued, “we can’t let Moreno think we’re weak enough that we’re considering it. We need to reject it. Forcefully—”

“You need to send a message that you’re the one in charge,” Johnny interrupted. “No more pussyfooting around, Morgan. Let me take out his second-in-command or burn down one of his damn strip clubs—”

“I said no,” Jason repeated. “If you got a problem taking orders from me, Johnny, maybe you need to tell me that now.” He strode towards the other man, stopping only a few inches from him. He glared at him, hard—and Johnny broke first, dipping his eyes to the ground. Good. Johnny was  few years older than Jason, and he’d been in the business longer, but he was a stubborn hothead. Jason had wondered if he’d be able to accept Sonny leaving the business to someone else.

Time would tell, but at least today — Johnny was backing down.

“You send Moreno my answer the way I told you to, and if he pushes it — if he doesn’t accept that this is the way things are, then we can talk about going further.” You didn’t escalate confrontations to an eleven until you had to, Jason thought. You didn’t act when you were angry. He’d learned that over the last two years. It might feel good in the moment to act on that heat, to lash out—

But it was always more satisfying to keep it cool. To watch others squirm and flip out. He’d frustrated more than one person with a blank stare. Keep them guessing. Doubting you.

“Tonight, at Luke’s,” Benny said, “you’ll put in an appearance? To establish an alibi?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jason muttered already irritated at the idea of heading to the club and attending a private party with a dress code. He liked Luke’s, but he hated suits. “I’ll be there.”

Benny took Johnny’s arm and the two filed out, nodding to Reinaldo, the guard on the door. The door closed behind him, and Jason exhaled in relief.

He straightened the desk — Benny had set down his briefcase and pushed a set of folders. Jason lined them back up, pushed the chair back, the way it had been before the adviser had come in. The way Sonny always kept it.

He grabbed his leather jacket laying across the back of the sofa, shrugged into it, and left. He had things to do before the party.

General Hospital: Cafeteria

“There is nothing in this world you can say to make me go to that party.”

With that pronouncement, Elizabeth Webber set her lunch tray down on the table with a hard thud and sat down. “I mean it. Don’t even bother.”

“I have to. It’s a matter of life or death.” Her best friend, Emily Quartermaine, took a seat across from her, her dark eyes imploring. “If you don’t go, do you know what happens?”

“I have a quiet, pleasant evening in my crappy studio apartment,” Elizabeth said. She twisted the cap off her water bottle. “And I don’t make small talk with people who hate me.”

“Nikolas doesn’t hate you,” Emily pointed out.

“His girlfriend does,” Elizabeth muttered. She sipped her water, letting her eyes drift around the cafeteria, catching the irritated gaze of the girlfriend in question, otherwise known as her sister, the every perfect Sarah Webber. “I’d rather ingest rat poison.”

“Yes, and you know I agree with you on this,” Emily said. She leaned forward. “But I have to go. It’s a fundraiser for the hospital, and my grandfather is insisting the family go—” She frowned. “Wait. Your grandparents practically built this place. How come Audrey isn’t forcing you?”

“Fortunately for me,” Elizabeth said sweetly, “there’s a better, more successful product of the Hardy/Webber line to represent the family tonight. Gram doesn’t care what I do as long it doesn’t embarrass her.” She sipped her water. “Go. Have a great time. Call me when you get home.”

“Please.” Emily folded her hands in a praying gesture. “I beseech you not to abandon me to hang out with them. Don’t abandon me in my time of need—”

Elizabeth scowled. “You’re asking me to willingly spend time with my sister. You understand what you’re asking me, don’t you? Because I will remember this. And I will use it against you.”

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.” Emily beamed. Then her smile turned sheepish. “Since you already agreed to come with me, I should warn you practically every doctor not on duty will be there, which means—”

Elizabeth closed her eyes. “Dr. Jones and the shrew. Oh, man. You are going to owe me so big for this.”

Luke’s: Back Office

“Word on the street is you’ve had an offer from Moreno.”

Jason dumped the ledger back on the desk and leveled a glare at Luke Spencer, who was one of the few people in the world unaffected by it. The club owner just leaned back in his gaudy chair—which matched the decoration of the entire club—and puffed on a cigar. “For someone who says they’re not in the  business, you always seem to know what’s going on.”

“Pays to keep a toe in.” Luke shrugged. “And I run a business on the border between you and Moreno. He’s sniffing me, just like everyone else, kid.” He leaned forward. “So he did offer a deal.”

“Yeah.” Jason rubbed his face. “To buy out Sonny’s interests. He wants to make sure there’s nothing for Sonny to come  back to—”

“Or,” Luke said, “he’s testing you. It’s a bullshit deal—”

“That’s what Johnny said—”

“And it’s a sign of disrespect—”

Jason pushed the chair back, got to his feet. “And that’s what Benny said. The three of you get together on this?”

“No. I’m just trying to keep my little slice of heaven out of the crossfire. But they’re not wrong. Let me guess—” Luke stubbed out his cigar and stood. “You said no. And that’s it. Maybe you sent the messenger back a little roughed up.” When Jason said nothing, the older man nodded. “Moreno wants to see what you’re made of, Jason, and right now, it’s not much—”

“Don’t—” Jason bristled. “I’m doing fine—”

“Because you’re good under pressure. You don’t panic. Sonny leaves you holding the bag for everything, personally and professionally, and you don’t sink in the first two months. But that was the easy part—”

Easy—”

“Yeah. Sonny handed you the keys to the kingdom, but that don’t mean you get to keep them without a fight.” Luke put his hands on the desk, leaned forward. “You think you don’t got guys working under you that are wondering if you have what it takes? You send a weak response to a guy like Moreno—”

“You keep saying it was weak—” Jason scowled. “But it was supposed to be, okay? How come I’m the only one who sees it? I need Moreno to come after me. To go too hard. Which is what he’s going to do when I tell him no. He wants to put Sonny out of business. It’s an insult to even ask. So he gets an insult back. It wasn’t a serious question. He just wanted to see if I was gonna cut and run.”

Luke considered this, then nodded. “Okay. So you’re thinking few moves ahead, and I don’t mind it. But Moreno goes after you, Jason, where’s he gonna go? How hard? You’re not just taking orders anymore. You gotta do the big picture.”

“I am—”

“You’re not,” Luke said firmly. “Moreno isn’t going to come after you. That’s not how this works. He’s going to come after me. Or Tommy down at the Blue Moon. Or maybe Dougie, down on Courtland Street. He’s going to take out someone who works for you.”

Jason stared at Luke, then nodded. “Maybe. But he was going to do that anyway. All I did was buy some time to figure out where.”

“You need to be thinking about how you’re going to respond—”

“The Oasis,” Jason said. “Makes Moreno a lot of money — not just the girls. He gambles in the back room and two of his best dealers work the floor. I’m not an idiot, Luke. He takes a shot at me, and the Oasis burns.” He shoved the ledger book across the desk. “But he needs to fire the first shot.”

“Right.” Luke tipped his head. “It’s one way to deal with it, I guess. But I think you’re going to regret not being more proactive.”

“Yeah, well—” Jason jerked a shoulder. “We’ll see.”

Luke went to the coat rack next to the door and tossed Jason’s jacket at him. “You need to head home to change. Dress code and all.”

Jason made a face. “I hate suits,” he muttered. He pulled the jacket on. “I appreciate the advice,” he said after a moment. “I know you don’t have to give it.”

“And you don’t have to take it. But it’s there.” Luke hesitated, then opened the door for Jason. “Just one more thing—”

“What?”

“Moreno’s not trying to put Sonny out of business. Sonny ain’t here. He’s trying to bury you. It’s yours now. Sonny liked to react,” Luke continued as Jason stared at him. “And you learned it from him, so I get it. But you’re not that guy. I know that because you already know your target. You gotta figure out if you wanna be your own man or a Sonny clone. And do it fast.”

Luke’s: Main Floor

“I’m going to get another drink,” Elizabeth called to Emily as her best friend let her cousin, Justus Ward, twirl her out on to the dance floor.

“Get me another glass—” Emily replied, then giggled as Justus dipped her down, then whirled her into the crowd.

Elizabeth weaved in and out of that same crowd as she edged her way from the tables by the stage towards the bar at the back of the main room. She loved Luke’s most of the time — it had the best music, cheap drinks, and the food didn’t make you vomit the next morning, but man, she hated when it was so loud you couldn’t even hear yourself think.

She saw a familiar blonde a few feet away, and Elizabeth immediately turned and made a beeline for the opposite direction. The absolute last thing she wanted was to run directly into Carly Roberts. She’d had quite enough of her at the hospital—

But unfortunately, in her quest to avoid blondes—she forgot the other person she was avoiding—and crashed right into him. “Ooof—” She grunted. “Sorry—”

“No problem—” Lucky Spencer’s eyes lit up. “Liz. Hey. I was hoping Em would convince you to come tonight.”

“Oh.” If Emily thought she was doing her a favor—Elizabeth crossed her arms, covering the deep neckline of her sapphire dress. The last time she’d spoken to Lucky, both of them had been wearing a lot less—and she was still pissed he’d forced her to break up with him half-naked.

If he’d just waited to ask stupid questions until the next day—

“You haven’t returned my calls—”

“No, I haven’t.” She pursed her lips. “I’m just going to go—” She tried to edge around him, but Lucky snagged her elbow “Lucky, come on—”

“No, you come on—what kind of girl does that? Three months, and you act like I don’t exist—”

“We dated for six weeks,” Elizabeth said, resisting the urge to stomp her foot. “Six weeks. In the summer. It’s literally an entire season later, Lucky. Go find someone else.”

“But you—”

“But I said no, and then I ignored you. I don’t know what other hint you need—” She put her hands up when he tried to reach for her again. “We had a little fun and it fizzled out, okay?”

“Not for me—”

“Well, it did for me, and that’s all that matters. I don’t have an obligation to date you until we’re both not interested.”

“You won’t even tell me why—”

“Jesus, Lucky. What do you want me to say?” She threw up her hands. “I’m supposed to give you an itemized list?”

“No, but—” He clenched his jaw. “You could have at least told me we were done—”

“I did. You keep choosing not to believe me—and I am done having this conversation with you right now.” She saw a break in the crowd and took advantage, and slipped between two different groups.

That was the last time she ever did a favor for Emily. If that little brat thought she was helping—

Elizabeth spied the front door and breathed a sigh of relief. Air. She just wanted a little bit of air. And maybe to make a run for it. She had her purse. Her jacket was somewhere—but the purse was all that mattered.

Her mind made up, Elizabeth headed for the entrance.

Luke’s: Entrance

“Fashionably late,” Luke said as Jason made his way to the entrance, Reinaldo trailing behind him. “Didn’t think you were coming.”

“Had to wait for the right time,” Jason grunted, looking out over the parking lot. For a few weeks, he’d parked cars out here. And now he owned shares in the club. No, Sonny owned them, he thought. Jason was just looking after them for a while.

Sonny would be back just as soon as it was safe to return. Jason was sure of it.

“You, ah, send that message we talked about?” Luke asked. “Because I got a call from one of my old friends down on Courtland. There’s some chatter Moreno’s planning something big.”

Jason furrowed his brow. “No, that’s—” That’s why he was here now. So he’d have an alibi when the body of the messenger showed up at the Oasis tonight. He clenched his jaw, swept his eyes over the parking lot again. He saw Luke’s stepson, Nikolas Cassadine, about twenty feet away, by a gray Jaguar. But no one else.

“First you’re hearing about it?” Luke asked, drawing Jason’s attention back to him. “That’s not good.”

“No, it’s not. Your guy, will he talk to—”

Behind them, the front door to the club lurched open and a brunette emerged, almost at a sprint. She leaned against the closed door, closing her eyes. “Never again.”

“Lizzie?” Luke said, arching his brows. “You okay, kid?”

The woman—Lizzie—straightened, the strap of her black purse falling down her shoulder—her bare shoulder, Jason noticed. No coat covering the dress, which only fell to mid-thigh. Her brown hair looked as if she’d been running, half of it sliding down her neck.

“Oh. No. Yes, I mean.” She made a face. “And I hate that name, you know that, Luke.”

Luke grinned. “I know that. It’s just funny—” His smile faded. “You’re missing a coat. What happened?”

“Private parties,” Elizabeth bit out. “You’d think they’d cap the guest list. You can’t breath in there—” She flicked her eyes to Jason, seeming to notice him for the first time. “Oh, you’re—I’m interrupting something.”

“Listen—” Luke started to take off his jacket, but he stopped, turning back to the parking lot, his eyes suddenly alert. “Did you—”

Jason heard it just a moment before the Cadillac swung into the parking lot, and the window rolled down. The first gun shots rang out as Jason grabbed Elizabeth by the arm and shoved her down to the ground, covering her body as bullets pierced the side of the building just centimeters from where she’d been standing.

August 31, 2022

Picks up directly after Book 1 ends.


Chapter 39

You may call it in this evening
But you’ve only lost the night
Present all your pretty feelings
May they comfort you tonight
And I’m climbing over something
And I’m running through these walls

I don’t even know if I believe
I don’t even know if I believe
I don’t even know if I believe
Everything you’re trying to say to me

Believe, Mumford & Sons


Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Franco Baldwin twirled a butter knife between his fingers, its dull blade catching the light. He was a bit like this knife, he thought. You could do some damage with a butter knife, but it required a great deal of effort.

You had to really want the pain to make it work. You had to crave it. Otherwise, there was no point in even bothering. His own edges might be a bit dulled after all these years, but a blade was still a blade.

“Are you even listening to me?”

Franco blinked, looked at the man sitting across from him whose expression was folded into an irritated scowl. “Sorry, Pops.” He set the butter knife at the side of his blade. “Didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

“Yeah, well—” Scott Baldwin stirred sugar into his coffee. “That’s the holidays for you. You do anything for New Year’s?”

“No.” Franco shrugged, bit into his toast, chewed. “Nothing. Kiki wanted me to go to the hotel, but, ah, my invitation seemed to have been lost.” The end of his relationship with Elizabeth had been some sort of dog whistle for other people because all he got were stares and people avoiding him when he came into a room. The only friends he had left were too busy for him. Ava who refused to leave her apartment because of a scar; Nina, who only complained about her husband; and Kiki, who had started medical school that year so at least she had a good reason.

He was right back where’d he started four years earlier when he’d sauntered onto the Haunted Star with a stack of DVDs and an agenda. His blood boiled just thinking about everything that had been stolen from him. He’d find a way to get even—when he was done crushing Elizabeth, he’d go back to Carly who had betrayed him first.

“It wasn’t that much fun, but—” Scott cleared his throat. “Listen. I just—I thought you might want to hear it from me. Before it started getting around town.”

Franco drew his brows together. “Heard what?”

“I don’t know anything for sure, but Jason and Elizabeth disappeared from the party pretty early that night. Maybe they went home, but—”

They hadn’t, but Franco didn’t think his father would be pleased to learn how Franco had acquired that knowledge. Somehow, he thought Scott might disapprove of staking out a house for six hours, waiting for people to slink out.

He’d laid back for months, waiting for the cycle to play itself out as it always did. Hadn’t Elizabeth poured her heart out to him? Her deep fear that no one would ever love her enough to stay? Her parents had planted those seeds, but Jason Morgan had helped them to grow — every time he’d walked away from her, Elizabeth had lost a little bit less conviction that forever could exist for her.

But it had been two months, and New Year’s had just indicated that Franco had underestimated the situation. It might take longer for Jason to shake free of Elizabeth, to return to Sam as he always did.

Franco intended to prove Elizabeth right, of course. No one would ever love her enough to stay — but first, he had to convince her that she’d been wrong about him. That one slip, one little argument with that brat of hers, shouldn’t cost him everything. And when Jason had let her, Franco could be there to slid back in. To regain her trust.

Then he’d grind her into dust by leaving. She would regret trying to shake him off—

“Franco?”

He cleared his throat, smiled easily at his father. “You don’t have to be concerned about me, Pops. Elizabeth made herself very clear, and I’m not about to get my windpipe crushed again. She has her life, and I have mine.”

“Good.” Scott nodded, sipped his coffee. “Good. Glad to hear it.”

Garage: Parking Lot

Elizabeth Webber made a face as she slid off the back of Jason’s bike and removed the helmet. “I really hate speed limits,” she muttered, stowing it on the back.

“After,” he promised. He smoothed her tangled hair away from her face and dipped down to kiss her. She sighed, leaning. Two days since everything had changed and there was still a little piece of her that didn’t quite believe that it could be real. That nearly twenty years after they’d met, they could finally have a chance to get it right. He drew back. “After,” Jason repeated. “We’ll go to the cliffs.”

“You might as well let me drive when we’re in the city,” she said, letting him tug her towards the double front doors of the garage he’d closed on the day before  — the garage he’d be opening in a few weeks as he reclaimed his life after returning to Port Charles two months earlier.

“I just let you drive a few weeks ago—”

“That was for Christmas—”

Jason unlocked the doors to the lobby and held it open for her. “Special occasions. You want to drive in the city, you need to get a license—”

“I know Jason Morgan isn’t giving me a lecture about following the law—”

He just smirked and fished his cell phone out of his pocket as it rang. “It’s Spinelli—”

Elizabeth let him take the call from their resident technology wizard and went over to flip on the light switch, flooding the small lobby area with bright overhead lighting. She went to the glass doors that separated the lobby from the bay where they’d actually do the work to check those—

“Yeah. Okay. Thanks. No, I’ll let you know. I need to talk to Drew first—”

At the sound of Drew’s name, Elizabeth turned back to see Jason sliding the phone back into the pocket of his leather jacket. “Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know. Spinelli’s been monitoring Nina’s phone — she’s been leaving a lot of messages for Valentin, but Spinelli hasn’t seen a lot coming back the other way.”

Elizabeth frowned. “Do you think it means something?”

“Spinelli does. I don’t know,” Jason repeated. He went towards the back of the lobby, through the door that led to the breakroom and office. She followed. “He says the messages are angry. Nina didn’t know he was going and she’s upset he’s not returning her calls. Just a few texts here and there.”

“Maybe he’s having an affair,” Elizabeth said, leaning against the door frame of the office. “You guys didn’t know why he’d go to Turkey — and didn’t Robert say the WSB didn’t know anything either? An affair would explain it, don’t you think?”

“It would,” Jason admitted. He leaned against the rickety desk. “Robert also said the WSB wasn’t forthcoming. They don’t approve of us investigating on our own—”

“Well, they need to get over it. Their agency funded this damned experiment,” Elizabeth retorted. “They gave the keys to the kingdom to Victor Cassadine and he used it to hurt you—and Drew. They should be lucky we’re only trying to find out what the hell happened and not burning them to the ground—”

“Which is the argument Robert and Anna have been trying to make to Frisco Jones,” Jason said. “They’re trying to get into see Maddox—”

She bristled at the reminder of the doctor who had betrayed her—and their son. Andre Maddox had been the architect of the protocol used to steal Jason’s memory and implant them into Drew—and he’d put the trigger in Jake’s brain, nearly causing their son to unleash a deadly biotoxin—

“There’s nothing else Maddox can tell us that we won’t get from the files. I know it’s hard to wait for Spinelli to decrypt them, and the ones we have haven’t been useful but he’s got what he wants. He got transferred to a cushy WSB prison where he still gets to work for them.” Elizabeth shook her head. “And even when he did say anything, it was all cryptic bullshit—”

“Anna still has hope, and I’m not going to tell her how to do her job,” Jason said, gently cutting in. He held out his hands and she sighed, letting him tug her closer. “I know Maddox is a sore spot. I didn’t know him, but you did. And Jake trusted him. We’ll keep going through the files, but—”

“But you’re getting restless.” Two months since he’d come home and he was no closer to finding out who was responsible for keeping him locked up in a coma for those five years. Valentin was their primary suspect, but they had nothing proving his involvement. It was too easy for Victor and Helena to be the answer — because Jason had been chased home from Russia—someone hadn’t wanted him released from the coma.

But who was that someone? And how many secrets did Helena still keep that could prove deadly? Two years dead in the grave, and she’d still reached out her bony fingers to nearly kill Jake and everyone else Elizabeth loved.

“I’m surprised you didn’t get on a plane to Turkey as soon as Spinelli told you,” Elizabeth admitted. “Is what what you need to talk to Drew about? Going?”

“We agreed to wait a few days until we felt like there was a reason. I don’t know if we have one, but if Valentin is having an affair—if it was that simple, shouldn’t we just be able to find a money trail? He can hide that from his wife—”

“But Spinelli should have found it by now.” She nodded. “I know. I want to get to the bottom of this, you know that. I want you—and Drew—to have your answers.” She brushed his cheek with the back of her hand. “I also want you to be safe. We just got you home. I’m not in any hurry to send you back into danger.” She winced. “That sounds like I’m telling you not to go, I’m not—”

“I know—”

“And I can’t believe I just used that word—” she groaned, let her forehead fall against his. He stroked her arms, sliding his hands up and down the fabric of her white peacoat.

“What word?”

“Safe.” She made a face. “I said I want you to be safe—this is exactly the crap you pulled on me for all those years, and here I am—”

“I know we think Helena targeted me because she wants—wanted—to punish you. But that does not make any of this your fault.”

“I know. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty.” She tried to smile. “You’re probably enjoying the shoe being on the other foot, huh?”

“Luke and Lucky are already in Turkey,” Jason reminded her, not rising to the bait. “They agree with the WSB. So far.”

“And those are two more people you don’t trust.” She bit her lip. “You want to go, don’t you? Just to be on the ground.”

“Maybe,” Jason admitted. “But—”

“Then you should do it.” She cleared her throat, stepped back. “We’ll keep working the files here, and you and Drew can see if there’s anything to know over there.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. And if Drew can’t go, I will. That might be fun, actually.” She perked up at that idea. “I haven’t been in the field in years, but I held my own the last time—I was so good Helena ordered Nikolas to murder me—”

“If Drew can’t go, you’re the first choice,”  Jason promised, and she narrowed her eyes. “What?”

“You’re only agreeing because you know he’ll go and you’ll never have to keep that promise—”

“Hey, if we’re going up against the Cassadines—” Jason drew her in for another kiss. “There’s no one else I want by my side.”

Port Charles High School: Hallway

Cameron Webber slammed his locker shut and slid his backpack higher on his shoulder. “We should get another week of break,” he said.

“Seriously.” His best friend, Josslyn Jacks, leaned against the adjoining locker, and popped her gum. “Should be some kind of law against this. And did you know DiMarino is giving an algebra quiz tomorrow? We just got back—”

“He’s literally the worst,” Trina Robinson declared as she came up to them. She sighed. “I’m going to fail it, and then Dr. Rob is never going to let me see the light of day again.”

“Well, that might not be so bad—” Spencer Cassadine joined them, slung an arm around Cameron. “Since my cousin is about to join the workforce. He’ll have less time for you anyway.”

Cameron glared at his cousin and shrugged off his hand. “Hey, you know, Grandma Laura nearly got Jason to offer you a job—”

Joss snorted. “Imagine Spencer working—” Her snort became a series of giggles as Spencer glowered at her.

“I’m not sure why you’re laughing, Princess,” Trina retorted. “The only person who has softer hands than you is a baby—”

“Oh, please—” Joss waved away that. “I’ve worked—”

“Volunteering at Lila’s Kids during the summer doesn’t count,” Cameron said dryly. “You come and go as you please because your brother runs the program. Spencer has no money anymore. He’s going to have to work somewhere.”

“Who’s side are you on?” Spencer wanted to know.

“My own.”

“Hey.”

At the sound of the new voice, the group turned to see Emma Scorpio-Drake approaching, her hands clutching the the straps of her backpack. She smiled hesitantly. “I guess I’m not the only new kid today.”

Cameron stared at her for a long moment, then Joss elbowed him, and he cleared his throat. “Uh, hey. I thought your parents couldn’t come back for a few more weeks—”

“Yeah, Mom thought it might be easier if I started right after the holidays, so I’m with my grandma until they get things settled in Berkeley.” Emma shifted. “I’m sorry. I feel like I interrupted—”

“No, Joss was just being an entitled spoiled princess again, so it’s just another day that ends in Y,” Trina said.

“I thought we had a truce,” Joss complained. “Since when we do we break truces for Spencer?”

“Where’s Oscar?” Cameron asked, wanting a change of topic—the last thing he needed was Joss and Trina start sniping at each other again.

“He texted — he’s gonna miss today. Said he’s home sick.” Joss sighed when the bell rang. “I gotta get to homeroom. I get marked late one more time, I’m gonna end up with a Saturday detention, and I can’t hide that from Mom.”

“Does anyone know where—” Emma pulled a schedule out of her pocket. “Um, Room 319 is? What’s my homeroom—”

“Mine, too—” Cameron and Spencer said at the same time. They glared at each other, and Joss rolled her eyes.

“Oh, great. It’s just like when we were kids all over again. Good luck, Trina.” Joss left, and Trina frowned after her.

“What does that mean?” she wanted to know. She looked at Cameron. “Good luck with what?”

“Nothing,” Cameron muttered. “It’s just Joss being Joss. Let’s get to homeroom.”

Penthouse: Living Room

Drew Cain checked his messages one more time before knocking briskly on the door to the penthouse that had once been his home. It had been hard to leave the week before, to pack his things, and take a room at the hotel—

But necessary. He and Sam were just stuck in one place, and nothing would change unless he did something to force it. They’d argued for weeks over her divorce and custody of the kids—but the moment she’d realized Drew was actually forming a relationship of sorts with his newfound twin brother, it was like a light had gone out for her.

He was determined to fix it—to figure out what was at the root of Sam’s sudden refusal to allow anything—or anyone—related to Jason in her life or the lives of the children.

Sam pulled open the door, her expression blank as she considered him. “Are you here to see Scout?”

“Not specifically, but I’d like to—”

“Well, you can’t,” Sam said flatly. “Kristina and Molly took Scout and Danny to my mother’s. So—” She started to close the door, but Drew slapped a hand against it. “What?”

“I want to talk,” Drew said gently. “Please.”

“I told you—”

“Diane said she revised a revised divorce petition from you—” His throat tightened. “You’re filing for full custody of Scout. Why?”

“Because I can—” Sam closed her eyes, then stepped back. “Fine, come in. Let’s get this over with.”

“I know you’re angry at me—”

“You don’t know anything—” She closed the door behind him. “I wouldn’t have changed the divorce paperwork, but you forced it. Okay? Because you’re screwing around with the Cassadines, and I don’t want the kids involved in it. My mother has spent her whole life dealing with Helena, and I know she’s not the only person Helena made miserable. That family is dangerous—”

“They’re your family—”

“No—my mother is my family. It’s not the same as being connected to the rest of it, okay? Helena never took any interest in me and I thank God for it—but what you’re doing—”

Drew shook his head. “I don’t understand any of this, Sam. It’s not like you to run scared from something—”

“Well, maybe I’m tired of having my life get blown up every few years. I’m tired—” Sam dragged her hands through her hair, and his ire faded for a moment. “Every since I got to Port Charles, I feel like I have to keep starting over. I lost my brother, then I couldn’t have kids, and Lucky and I couldn’t make things work—and then Franco—” Her voice broke. “Then Jason went off that pier. Danny had cancer—I can’t keep doing this, Drew. And I refuse to be the bad guy because I just want everything to stop.”

“I don’t—” He caught one of her hands and pressed it against his heart. “I don’t want you to be hurt, Sam. And I know these last few months have been confusing. I have these memories in my head that don’t belong to me. I have to second guess everything I do or say—I don’t have the answers—”

“You don’t need them—” Her eyes searched his, desperately. “You don’t need them. You have those stupid files. Tell Spinelli to find your memories, take them to a new doctor—maybe Robin, okay? Get them merged with the ones you have now—and let’s just go back to how things were—”

“I can’t go back—”

“Why?” Sam jerked her hand back. “Why? Why can’t we go back? When we launched Aurora, we were happy! We were planning for a future that didn’t include any of this! Why can’t we have that?”

“We can still have—” Drew closed his mouth. “We’re still having the same argument, Sam. And I don’t know how to make it stop. I need to find out what happened to me. Why it happened. And to make sure there’s nothing else out there that’s going to hurt the people I care about. You know what Helena Cassadine is capable of—what she nearly managed at the Nurse’s Ball, even after being dead for two years! How can I sit back and hope it’s over?”

Tears slid down her cheeks, and she turned away, pressing her hands against her face. “You can’t. I know that. I know it’s selfish to want you to.”

“Then—”

“I just don’t know why it has to be with them. Why do you have to work with the people who made this happen?” Sam whirled back. “Laura told my mother that Helena went after Jason—went after you—because of Elizabeth! She’s the reason this is happening—”

“Jason is my brother,” Drew said firmly and she pressed her lips into a thin line. “I know you have some unresolved issues with him, but he’s my brother. And Elizabeth—even if I didn’t count her as a friend—she’s part of his life. Which is the part you’re really angry about, isn’t it?”

“Don’t—” Sam shook her head. “Don’t start with that—I am allowed to hate her. She lied for months about who you were—”

“Who she thought I was—”

“No!” Sam stabbed a finger at him. “You do not get to let her off the hook because she was wrong. She thought you were Jason, and she lied because she knew what would happen. And it did. As soon as you knew the truth, you left her—and we fell in love again. You told me that. You told me you loved me. How can you say it and not even listen—”

“Because you’re not making any sense, and I don’t understand why it all has to be all or nothing. You’re demanding I cut my own brother out of my life after we just  found out each other existed. You want me to give up searching for my past. You want me to cut out Jake’s mother, when just months ago, we were co-parenting and managing just fine. I don’t understand why it’s different now. What changed?”

Sam looked away, her face pale. “Maybe that’s the problem. Nothing has changed. Except for everything.  “And I’m tired. You’re looking for me to explain something that I just can’t. I just know I can’t do this. Not with you. Not with them. I don’t want to.”

“Well, until you can explain it,” Drew said tightly, “we have nothing to say to each other. You’re not keeping me from my daughter. I’ll have Diane contact Alexis from now on.”

“Good.” Sam opened the door. “So you can go—”

“Just one more thing—” Drew looked at her. “I know our lives exploded. I know that it’s going to take for it all to settle. When it does, I hope you’ll remember that I love you. That you love me—”

“Are you sure? I wonder.” Sam exhaled slowly. “Can you love something that doesn’t even exist? You don’t even know who you are. And I don’t think you know who I am, either.”

“I guess we’ll find out how much of that is true.”

“I guess we will.” And then she closed the door.

Quartermaine Estate: Foyer

Michael strode from the study, his eyes focused on the contract in his hand, thinking about the board meeting that night—

And then the front door swept open, ushering in a swirl of bitter January wind. Michael snapped his head up and grimaced. “I thought I smelled sulfur.”

“And I thought I smelled bullshit,” came the retort of the woman who stalked inside, slamming the door behind her. “Just like every day of your tenure—we should be lucky there’s still an ELQ to screw up—” Tracy Quartermaine unbuttoned her coat slowly. “Where is my useless sister-in-law?”

Michael scowled. “She’s in the family room. What do you want with her?”

“I don’t speak to children.” Tracy dismissed him with a wave of her hand as she passed him. “Go play in the shallow end with the other infants.”

He considered following her, but his grandmother could hold his own—and he had a bad feeling his aunt would make a surprise visit to the offices. Michael returned to the study to double check the agenda.

Tracy found Monica sitting at desk in the family room, her pen moving swiftly over a notepad. She closed the door behind her, and Monica looked up. “How did you mess this up?” Tracy demanded.

“I did nothing.” Monica gripped the pen more tightly. “You were the one who handled all the paperwork—there never should have been anything to find—” She got to her feet. “Tell me how every time I asked you to find him, you could find nothing—and Robert Scorpio found a link between Andrew Moore and Andrew Cain in two months?”

“He’s WSB.” Tracy shrugged. “They have better resources—”

“Don’t  bullshit me, Tracy,” Monica snapped, her eyes lit with fury. “I begged you repeatedly to find Alan’s son—”

“Yes, you inquired a few times,” Tracy said. “But I don’t recall hearing a single word from my brother.”

Monica closed her mouth and Tracy nodded. “Exactly. You never said a word about what we did because you knew Alan would never forgive you. If you had told him Jason had a brother, Daddy and Alan would have torn apart the world looking for him.”

Monica exhaled slowly, sat back down at the desk, and a single spiral of pity slid through Tracy. “Monica, we made a decision a long time ago when we were different people. We wouldn’t do the same today—”

“I somehow think that’s not going to matter very much to Drew. Or to Jason.” Monica closed her eyes. “I did ask you to find him. You know I did.”

“And I tried.” Tracy winced. “Maybe not as  hard as I could have,” she allowed. “The past is the past.” And Andrew Cain had no memories of that past which suited Tracy quite nicely. “We’ll find out what they know, and make sure what they don’t know stays buried.”

Tracy hooked her coat over her arm. “Speaking of buried—have they reopened the murder case itself?” she wanted to know. “Or are they just poking around at Drew and Jason’s birth records?”

“No.” Monica rubbed her chest. “It wouldn’t matter if they did.”

“Not to me, no. I wasn’t in Port Charles when Susan Moore died. Would it matter to you?”

“I told you then—” The anger, mixed with exasperation. “I didn’t kill her! Why would I do that when I knew it meant I’d be stuck with her bastard children —” Monica curled her hand into a fist. “Why is it that you bring out the worst in me?” she demanded.

“A gift. Relax, Monica. I’ll fix everything. Just like I always do.”

Picks up directly after Book 1 ends.


Chapter 39

You may call it in this evening
But you’ve only lost the night
Present all your pretty feelings
May they comfort you tonight
And I’m climbing over something
And I’m running through these walls

I don’t even know if I believe
I don’t even know if I believe
I don’t even know if I believe
Everything you’re trying to say to me

Believe, Mumford & Sons


Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Garage: Parking Lot

Elizabeth Webber made a face as she slid off the back of Jason’s bike and removed the helmet. “I really hate speed limits,” she muttered, stowing it on the back.

“After,” he promised. He smoothed her tangled hair away from her face and dipped down to kiss her. She sighed, leaning. Two days since everything had changed and there was still a little piece of her that didn’t quite believe that it could be real. That nearly twenty years after they’d met, they could finally have a chance to get it right. He drew back. “After,” Jason repeated. “We’ll go to the cliffs.”

“You might as well let me drive when we’re in the city,” she said, letting him tug her towards the double front doors of the garage he’d closed on the day before  — the garage he’d be opening in a few weeks as he reclaimed his life after returning to Port Charles two months earlier.

“I just let you drive a few weeks ago—”

“That was for Christmas—”

Jason unlocked the doors to the lobby and held it open for her. “Special occasions. You want to drive in the city, you need to get a license—”

“I know Jason Morgan isn’t giving me a lecture about following the law—”

He just smirked and fished his cell phone out of his pocket as it rang. “It’s Spinelli—”

Elizabeth let him take the call from their resident technology wizard and went over to flip on the light switch, flooding the small lobby area with bright overhead lighting. She went to the glass doors that separated the lobby from the bay where they’d actually do the work to check those—

“Yeah. Okay. Thanks. No, I’ll let you know. I need to talk to Drew first—”

At the sound of Drew’s name, Elizabeth turned back to see Jason sliding the phone back into the pocket of his leather jacket. “Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know. Spinelli’s been monitoring Nina’s phone — she’s been leaving a lot of messages for Valentin, but Spinelli hasn’t seen a lot coming back the other way.”

Elizabeth frowned. “Do you think it means something?”

“Spinelli does. I don’t know,” Jason repeated. He went towards the back of the lobby, through the door that led to the breakroom and office. She followed. “He says the messages are angry. Nina didn’t know he was going and she’s upset he’s not returning her calls. Just a few texts here and there.”

“Maybe he’s having an affair,” Elizabeth said, leaning against the door frame of the office. “You guys didn’t know why he’d go to Turkey — and didn’t Robert say the WSB didn’t know anything either? An affair would explain it, don’t you think?”

“It would,” Jason admitted. He leaned against the rickety desk. “Robert also said the WSB wasn’t forthcoming. They don’t approve of us investigating on our own—”

“Well, they need to get over it. Their agency funded this damned experiment,” Elizabeth retorted. “They gave the keys to the kingdom to Victor Cassadine and he used it to hurt you—and Drew. They should be lucky we’re only trying to find out what the hell happened and not burning them to the ground—”

“Which is the argument Robert and Anna have been trying to make to Frisco Jones,” Jason said. “They’re trying to get into see Maddox—”

She bristled at the reminder of the doctor who had betrayed her—and their son. Andre Maddox had been the architect of the protocol used to steal Jason’s memory and implant them into Drew—and he’d put the trigger in Jake’s brain, nearly causing their son to unleash a deadly biotoxin—

“There’s nothing else Maddox can tell us that we won’t get from the files. I know it’s hard to wait for Spinelli to decrypt them, and the ones we have haven’t been useful but he’s got what he wants. He got transferred to a cushy WSB prison where he still gets to work for them.” Elizabeth shook her head. “And even when he did say anything, it was all cryptic bullshit—”

“Anna still has hope, and I’m not going to tell her how to do her job,” Jason said, gently cutting in. He held out his hands and she sighed, letting him tug her closer. “I know Maddox is a sore spot. I didn’t know him, but you did. And Jake trusted him. We’ll keep going through the files, but—”

“But you’re getting restless.” Two months since he’d come home and he was no closer to finding out who was responsible for keeping him locked up in a coma for those five years. Valentin was their primary suspect, but they had nothing proving his involvement. It was too easy for Victor and Helena to be the answer — because Jason had been chased home from Russia—someone hadn’t wanted him released from the coma.

But who was that someone? And how many secrets did Helena still keep that could prove deadly? Two years dead in the grave, and she’d still reached out her bony fingers to nearly kill Jake and everyone else Elizabeth loved.

“I’m surprised you didn’t get on a plane to Turkey as soon as Spinelli told you,” Elizabeth admitted. “Is what what you need to talk to Drew about? Going?”

“We agreed to wait a few days until we felt like there was a reason. I don’t know if we have one, but if Valentin is having an affair—if it was that simple, shouldn’t we just be able to find a money trail? He can hide that from his wife—”

“But Spinelli should have found it by now.” She nodded. “I know. I want to get to the bottom of this, you know that. I want you—and Drew—to have your answers.” She brushed his cheek with the back of her hand. “I also want you to be safe. We just got you home. I’m not in any hurry to send you back into danger.” She winced. “That sounds like I’m telling you not to go, I’m not—”

“I know—”

“And I can’t believe I just used that word—” she groaned, let her forehead fall against his. He stroked her arms, sliding his hands up and down the fabric of her white peacoat.

“What word?”

“Safe.” She made a face. “I said I want you to be safe—this is exactly the crap you pulled on me for all those years, and here I am—”

“I know we think Helena targeted me because she wants—wanted—to punish you. But that does not make any of this your fault.”

“I know. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty.” She tried to smile. “You’re probably enjoying the shoe being on the other foot, huh?”

“Luke and Lucky are already in Turkey,” Jason reminded her, not rising to the bait. “They agree with the WSB. So far.”

“And those are two more people you don’t trust.” She bit her lip. “You want to go, don’t you? Just to be on the ground.”

“Maybe,” Jason admitted. “But—”

“Then you should do it.” She cleared her throat, stepped back. “We’ll keep working the files here, and you and Drew can see if there’s anything to know over there.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. And if Drew can’t go, I will. That might be fun, actually.” She perked up at that idea. “I haven’t been in the field in years, but I held my own the last time—I was so good Helena ordered Nikolas to murder me—”

“If Drew can’t go, you’re the first choice,”  Jason promised, and she narrowed her eyes. “What?”

“You’re only agreeing because you know he’ll go and you’ll never have to keep that promise—”

“Hey, if we’re going up against the Cassadines—” Jason drew her in for another kiss. “There’s no one else I want by my side.”

August 29, 2022

Picks up six months after the Second Epilogue in Bittersweet. This is the first scene. 


Chapter 1

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I’ll be right beside you dear

Louder, louder
And we’ll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can’t raise your voice to say

Run, Snow Patrol


Monday, May 5, 2003

Venice, Italy

Palazzo Barzizza: Foyer

Jason Morgan opened the front door and set the bag of groceries on the table just inside, wincing when the old, heavy door creaked. He went through the living room, out to the terrace, hoping that it hadn’t woken her. Since she’d been released from the hospital almost two weeks earlier, Elizabeth hadn’t been able to manage more than a few hours at a time. When she’d finally drifted asleep earlier that morning, he’d gone out to run errands.

He rested a hand on the arch that separated the terrace from the living room, his chest easing when he saw her curled up on the chaise, still peacefully sleeping. He should probably wake her up — the sun would soon wash over the area as the world rotated towards night, and she burned so easily—

But he didn’t have the heart. Or the courage. Everything he said since the accident seemed like the wrong thing—since she’d woken and he’d had to tell her because he didn’t want some strange doctor or nurse she didn’t know to be the one.

There were dark, deep half moons beneath her eyes, her pale skin nearly translucent. The bruises had faded in the month since the accident, but the evidence of her injuries remained in the cast that encompassed her entire right hand and stretched just below her elbow. She couldn’t write. Couldn’t draw. Couldn’t sketch. The accident had stolen everything she loved about herself, everything that had given her beautiful eyes that spark—

And it was his fault. He was the reason she was like this, existing instead of living. He’d been driving and had walked away with nothing more than bruises and scratches, long since healed.

He stepped back inside the house, resolving to wake her in another twenty minutes if she didn’t on her own. He retrieved the groceries, then unpacked them in the kitchen—passing the studio just off the living room, taking advantage of the view of the water.  The door was closed now, as it had been since they’d left for Rome. She hadn’t stepped foot inside since she’d come home. What was the point? She’d asked in that dull flat tone he hated so much that he’d stopped asking questions.

Before the accident, before Rome, it had been so different.

Their home overlooked the Grand Canal, and for the first few weeks after their arrival, Elizabeth had filled page after page in her sketch pad, soaking in off all the sights. She’d dragged him all over the city, to the Piazza San Marco, the glass market on on the island of Murano, then toured all the other small islands in the area.

Then, after the New Year, they’d gone to Sicily because he’d never been, and she painted so much on the island, he’d had to arrange for the canvases to be shipped back to Venice because they couldn’t carry them all.

She’d worried more than once that she was ruining his travels, his escape from Port Charles, but Jason had reassured her that he was having fun—that his joy came from being with her.

He went back the living room, to the terrace, just to be sure she wasn’t starting to burn—but she’d already woken, though her position hadn’t changed. She was still curled up, her casted arm held against her chest.

“I went to the store,” he found himself saying. Elizabeth looked at him, her expression blank. “If you’re hungry.”

“I’m all right.” Her voice was rusty, and she cleared her throat, sat up. “Um. How long did I sleep?”

“Maybe forty minutes.” A month ago, he’d have sat on the edge of the chaise, lifted her legs to rest in his lap. She’d have smiled at him—

Today, he stood under the arch, the sounds of Venice swirling around them.

Elizabeth got to her feet, swayed slightly, and instinctively he reached out to steady her, his hands brushing her hips. Startled, her eyes flicked up to his. “I’m okay—”

“I—” He stepped back, his hands falling back to his side, though he itched to hold her, to sweep her hair off her face to promise it would be okay.

But he didn’t want to make promises he couldn’t keep.

She opened her mouth, but then a sound drew their attention. Below them, on the sidewalk, a postal worker was getting back into the delivery barge, moving onto the next residence. He could see a manila envelope sticking out of the gilded box on the front of the house. They rarely received mail—

“I’ll get it,” Jason said, heading to the entry way. He opened the door and reached for it — it was just the one envelope with a return address in Rome.

The world—the sights, sounds, and smells—fell away as he registered the street number. The name on the address label.

“What is it?” Elizabeth wanted to know. She’d wandered in from the terrace, still holding her arm against her chest. “Jason?”

“It’s—” He couldn’t form the words. How could he tell her? His fingers tightened around the edges. “It’s from Rome.” He looked up, met her eyes, still puzzled. “Doctor Marini.”

She was so perfectly still, she might as well have been made from stone. Her eyes filled, tears clinging to her lashes. She dropped her gaze to the envelope. “Burn it. I don’t want to see it.”

“Okay.”  But he still stood there, as frozen as she was.

She sucked in a harsh breath, the sound stark in the otherwise empty room. “No. Don’t.” She closed her eyes, and somehow, seemed to shrink into herself. “Don’t,” she said again. “I just—I don’t know what to do.”

“We don’t have to do anything.”

“Would it—” Elizabeth opened her eyes and met his gaze. “Would it be better to ignore it? Is that what I’m supposed to do? Throw it away like it never happened? Would that make it easier?”

“I don’t know.” He wish he could answer even one of those questions—he’d give anything to be able to make this easier for her. For himself. But he couldn’t.

“I want—” She stepped forward, stretched out her hand, her fingers resting on the manila. “Should we keep it? Maybe one day, it won’t hurt so much.” The tears slid down her cheeks down—one splashed on his hand. “I don’t know.”

“I’ll put it away,” Jason told her fervently. “And you can decide later. When you’re ready.”

“Will I ever be ready? It just—” She swiped at her cheeks, impatiently. “It feels like I’m standing in the middle of an empty room, screaming, and there’s no one to listen. Nothing  can fix this. Not burning it, not forgetting. Not sleeping. It’s just there, like this—” Her voice broke, her shoulders started to shake.

Jason set the envelope on the table, intending to reach for her, hoping that somehow this would be the moment where he could finally do something more than just hurt her—

But if it had ever existed, it was over. Elizabeth stepped away, folding her good arm around her waist, closing her eyes. “Put it away,” she murmured. “Or watch it. I don’t care.”

“Elizabeth—”

She brushed past him and hurried up the stairs to the second floor. A moment he heard a door slam.

Jason exhaled slowly, picked up the envelope. He ripped the side open and drew out the letter, the photograph, and the DVD. The letter was handwritten — an apology from the office for not sending it sooner and hoping that everyone was happy and healthy.

The DVD was encased in a plastic case with nothing more than Elizabeth’s name scrawled across it, and the date of her appointment.

The photograph was actually a print, a black and white scan. He stared down at it, remembering that day in the office, the bubbly excitement and light in Elizabeth’s eyes as she’d held his hand, listening to the doctor explain what they were seeing.

And he’d watched the heartbeat of their unborn child, listening to its pulse, the sound more beautiful than any he’d ever heard.

The heartbeat that was gone now. Killed when their car had flipped into a ditch, nearly crushing Elizabeth to death because it had landed on the passenger side. A single car accident, the investigator’s side. Jason couldn’t remember the crash, couldn’t remember anything other than a drive full of excitement and dream spinning—

And then pain. Blood. Crying—his own—as he’d fought to get Elizabeth out of the car before the flames engulfed him—pleading with her to wake up, to just open her eyes—

Jason swallowed hard, put the contents back into the envelope. He opened a drawer, slid it inside.

Picks up six months after the Second Epilogue in Bittersweet.


Chapter 1

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I’ll be right beside you dear

Louder, louder
And we’ll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can’t raise your voice to say

Run, Snow Patrol


Monday, May 5, 2003

Venice, Italy

Palazzo Barzizza: Foyer

Jason Morgan opened the front door and set the bag of groceries on the table just inside, wincing when the old, heavy door creaked. He went through the living room, out to the terrace, hoping that it hadn’t woken her. Since she’d been released from the hospital almost two weeks earlier, Elizabeth hadn’t been able to manage more than a few hours at a time. When she’d finally drifted asleep earlier that morning, he’d gone out to run errands.

He rested a hand on the arch that separated the terrace from the living room, his chest easing when he saw her curled up on the chaise, still peacefully sleeping. He should probably wake her up — the sun would soon wash over the the area as the world rotated towards night, and she burned so easily—

But he didn’t have the heart. Or the courage. Everything he said since the accident seemed like the wrong thing—since she’d woken and he’d had to tell her because he didn’t want some strange doctor or nurse she didn’t know to be the one.

There were dark, deep half moons beneath her eyes, her pale skin nearly translucent. The bruises had faded in the month since the accident, but the evidence of her injuries remained in the cast that encompassed her entire right hand and stretched just below her elbow. She couldn’t write. Couldn’t draw. Couldn’t sketch. The accident had stolen everything she loved about herself, everything that had given her beautiful eyes that spark—

And it was his fault. He was the reason she was like this, existing instead of living. He’d been driving and had walked away with nothing more than bruises and scratches, long since healed.

He stepped back inside the house, resolving to wake her in another twenty minutes if she didn’t on her own. He retrieved the groceries, then unpacked them in the kitchen—passing the studio just off the living room, taking advantage of the view of the water.  The door was closed now, as it had been since they’d left for Rome. She hadn’t stepped foot inside since she’d come home. What was the point? She’d asked in that dull flat tone he hated so much that he’d stopped asking questions.

Before the accident, before Rome, it had been so different.

Their home overlooked the Grand Canal, and for the first few weeks after their arrival, Elizabeth had filled page after page in her sketch pad, soaking in off all the sights. She’d dragged him all over the city, to the Piazza San Marco, the glass market on on the island of Murano, then toured all the other small islands in the area.

Then, after the New Year, they’d gone to Sicily because he’d never been, and she painted so much on the island, he’d had to arrange for the canvases to be shipped back to Venice because they couldn’t carry them all.

She’d worried more than once that she was ruining his travels, his escape from Port Charles, but Jason had reassured her that he was having fun—that his joy came from being with her.

He went back the living room, to the terrace, just to be sure she wasn’t starting to burn—but she’d already woken, though her position hadn’t changed. She was still curled up, her casted arm held against her chest.

“I went to the store,” he found himself saying. Elizabeth looked at him, her expression blank. “If you’re hungry.”

“I’m all right.” Her voice was rusty, and she cleared her throat, sat up. “Um. How long did I sleep?”

“Maybe forty minutes.” A month ago, he’d have sat on the edge of the chaise, lifted her legs to rest in his lap. She’d have smiled at him—

Today, he stood under the arch, the sounds of Venice swirling around them.

Elizabeth got to her feet, swayed slightly, and instinctively he reached out to steady her, his hands brushing her hips. Startled, her eyes flicked up to his. “I’m okay—”

“I—” He stepped back, his hands falling back to his side, though he itched to hold her, to sweep her hair off her face to promise it would be okay.

But he didn’t want to make promises he couldn’t keep.

She opened her mouth, but then a sound drew their attention. Below them, on the sidewalk, a postal worker was getting back into the delivery barge, moving onto the next residence. He could see a manila envelope sticking out of the gilded box on the front of the house. They rarely received mail—

“I’ll get it,” Jason said, heading to the entry way. He opened the door and reached for it — it was just the one envelope with a return address in Rome.

The world—the sights, sounds, and smells—fell away as he registered the street number. The name on the address label.

“What is it?” Elizabeth wanted to know. She’d wandered in from the terrace, still holding her arm against her chest. “Jason?”

“It’s—” He couldn’t form the words. How could he tell her? His fingers tightened around the edges. “It’s from Rome.” He looked up, met her eyes, still puzzled. “Doctor Marini.”

She was so perfectly still, she might as well have been made from stone. Her eyes filled, tears clinging to her lashes. She dropped her gaze to the envelope. “Burn it. I don’t want to see it.”

“Okay.”  But he still stood there, as frozen as she was.

She sucked in a harsh breath, the sound stark in the otherwise empty room. “No. Don’t.” She closed her eyes, and somehow, seemed to shrink into herself. “Don’t,” she said again. “I just—I don’t know what to do.”

“We don’t have to do anything.”

“Would it—” Elizabeth opened her eyes and met his gaze. “Would it be better to ignore it? Is that what I’m supposed to do? Throw it away like it never happened? Would that make it easier?”

“I don’t know.” He wish he could answer even one of those questions—he’d give anything to be able to make this easier for her. For himself. But he couldn’t.

“I want—” She stepped forward, stretched out her hand, her fingers resting on the manila. “Should we keep it? Maybe one day, it won’t hurt so much.” The tears slid down her cheeks down—one splashed on his hand. “I don’t know.”

“I’ll put it away,” Jason told her fervently. “And you can decide later. When you’re ready.”

“Will I ever be ready? It just—” She swiped at her cheeks, impatiently. “It feels like I’m standing in the middle of an empty room, screaming, and there’s no one to listen. Nothing  can fix this. Not burning it, not forgetting. Not sleeping. It’s just there, like this—” Her voice broke, her shoulders started to shake.

Jason set the envelope on the table, intending to reach for her, hoping that somehow this would be the moment where he could finally do something more than just hurt her—

But if it had ever existed, it was over. Elizabeth stepped away, folding her good arm around her waist, closing her eyes. “Put it away,” she murmured. “Or watch it. I don’t care.”

“Elizabeth—”

She brushed past him and hurried up the stairs to the second floor. A moment he heard a door slam.

Jason exhaled slowly, picked up the envelope. He ripped the side open and drew out the letter, the photograph, and the DVD. The letter was handwritten — an apology from the office for not sending it sooner and hoping that everyone was happy and healthy.

The DVD was encased in a plastic case with nothing more than Elizabeth’s name scrawled across it, and the date of her appointment.

The photograph was actually a print, a black and white scan. He stared down at it, remembering that day in the office, the bubbly excitement and light in Elizabeth’s eyes as she’d held his hand, listening to the doctor explain what they were seeing.

And he’d watched the heartbeat of their unborn child, listening to its pulse, the sound more beautiful than any he’d ever heard.

The heartbeat that was gone now. Killed when their car had flipped into a ditch, nearly crushing Elizabeth to death because it had landed on the passenger side. A single car accident, the investigator’s side. Jason couldn’t remember the crash, couldn’t remember anything other than a drive full of excitement and dream spinning—

And then pain. Blood. Crying—his own—as he’d fought to get Elizabeth out of the car before the flames engulfed him—pleading with her to wake up, to just open her eyes—

Jason swallowed hard, put the contents back into the envelope. He opened a drawer, slid it inside.

Palazzo Barzizza: Master Bedroom

She pressed her forehead against the heavy wooden door, squeezing her eyes shut, wishing away the world.

But it wouldn’t go. Not for long. There were stretches of time when she could almost pretend it wasn’t real. Every morning, she woke in this beautiful room, slept in a bed that was nearly a century old. Looked out her front door the historic canals of Venice, and her bedroom the back garden. She had Italy at her fingertips — the entire world, she corrected gently — they’d already been talking about going to France for a few months —

And she had an amazing person in her life, a gorgeous, kind, thoughtful, and generous man who loved her. Whose eyes had been shattered since she woke up in that sterile white room—she’d known even before he said the words—it was in those eyes and the way he’d breathed—

He looked at her everyday as if she were delicate. Fragile. And she couldn’t even blame him—

Elizabeth traced her fingers over the cast that hid her healing forearm. The cast that had kept her from processing this grief the way she always had—in her art. She couldn’t draw or paint. She could barely move her fingers back and forth. The pain was unbearable, it kept bubbling up when she least expected it—

She’d almost felt all right today. Almost. Her arm felt heavy and useless, and her chest still a bit tight from the surgery, the scar still healing. But there had been that moment out by th chaise, when Jason had forgotten for a minute, and he’d touched her. And she’d wanted to reach out to him, just hold him—

And then the mail. That envelope with its fresh reminder. If they opened it, she knew what was inside. The DVD she’d asked the doctor’s office to send to Venice when it was ready — they were cutting their to Rome short so they could go home and make plans.

She’d known about the baby for just a week. Not long at all in the scheme of things. She’d had manicures that lasted longer, but the baby had been a reality longer than that—she simply hadn’t known. Two months along, the doctor had predicted. Due in late October. Jason had teased her suggesting maybe she’d share a birthday with the baby.

She covered her abdomen with the uncasted hand. Two months, and she hadn’t known. A week, and then it was all over.

Nothing was getting better here. There would be reminders every time she walked down the hall — on that fateful road trip between Rome and Venice, she’d started talking about what room they’d choose for the nursery in the beautiful palazzo he’d rented. Across the hall, she’d decided, even though she was sure she’d change her mind a thousand times—

Elizabeth opened the bedroom door, stared across the hallway at that room. Almost in a trance, she pushed the door open, twisting the knob. It was empty, so empty she could almost hear her breathing echo.

She felt like this room, hollowed from the inside out, and she didn’t know how to stop it.

She didn’t hear the footsteps on the stairs or in the hallway, but knew he was behind her. The air changed, and her breathing wasn’t the only echo.

“I need to make a change,” Elizabeth said finally. She turned to face him, forcing herself to meet his eyes, to confront the pain in them. “I—I know you might not want to go back yet, and we talked about maybe the fall, but I need to go home. You don’t have to go if you don’t want.” She held her arm against her, dropping her eyes because she’d seen him flinch, the flex of his hands into fists at his side.

“It’s just—” She bit her lip. “Being here is making it worse, and I don’t—I can’t be in this house anymore. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I know you spent all the money for the year, but—”

“I don’t care about that,” Jason said roughly. He swallowed hard. “I don’t,” he repeated. “We’ll go home. You should have Bobbie. Gia, Emily, Courtney—whoever you need. Whatever you need.”

But what did he need? The question was on the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t know how to ask it. She’d done it once, and he’d just turned it around. He needed her to be okay, but that couldn’t be the answer. It wasn’t fair to put that on her. Just like this entire trip, he’d centered it on her, and it was suffocating—because if she wasn’t okay, he couldn’t be okay, and that was too much pressure to be responsible for both them—

So she didn’t ask it. She nodded. “Um, I guess I’ll start packing what I want for the plane, and—”

“I can get someone to take care of the rest. Ship it to Port Charles. If you’re sure we’re done in Venice.”

Elizabeth looked out the window, over the gardens. She’d wanted their child to begin life here in Italy, in this house where so many of her dreams had come true. Where she’d been happiest. A baby conceived in love and warmth and sunshine deserved nothing less than the best, and it felt like that was here—

“With this house,” Elizabeth said finally. She finally flicked her gaze back to him. “It’s—it’s too much. I can’t come back here. I’m sorry.”

“I’ll make the arrangements,” he promised. “As soon as possible. We’ll go home.”

Port Charles, New York

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

“We should go to the beach.”

Sonny Corinthos barely heard the request as he refilled his tumbler with bourbon, watching the dark liquid fill the clear space. She’d been asking to leave town for a few days now, so eventually he’d have to pay attention, but he had to stick close to Port Charles right now. He winced as he took a long sip, the liquor burning his throat. A mistake one February night, and he’d locked himself all up again.

He really was an idiot.

Slender arms wrapped around his waist, dark hair brushing the sleeve of his suit jacket, and he had just one moment of wishing it was another woman behind him. Which wasn’t fair to either woman, he thought.

Not that Brenda would know. She’d been dead nearly five years—

“Did you hear me?” Now she’d begin to pout, and Sonny would have to apologize. He set the tumbler on the minibar and turned, flashing her a smile, knowing the dimples were winking in his cheeks.

“I heard you.”

Samantha McCall arched one dark slim eyebrow. “Well? The beach? We could be on the island before dinner—”

“A few weeks,” he said, softening the refusal with a long, lingering kiss. She grasped the lapels of his jacket, sliding it off his shoulders.

“Next week,” Sam murmured, her busy hands moving to the buckle on his belt.

He nearly gave in to both the demand and the destination of those talented fingers—but Sonny stopped. He kissed the inside of her palm. “I have a meeting,” he reminded her. He stooped down, grabbed the jacket. “Remember?”

“You know, this wasn’t exactly the life I was promised when you asked me to move in,” Sam reminded him as Sonny straightened the cuffs of the jacket.

He’d only asked her to live with him because it was more convenient that way, Sonny thought. Rather than having to wait for her to show up or heading across town to her hotel—but he knew she’d thought differently. Had maybe expected a diamond ring.

Sonny was done with impulsive proposals. Done with marriage.  As soon as he realized he was being scammed—

Which reminded him of the meeting—Sonny checked his watch. Late again. That was starting to get annoying.

He strode to the door, yanked it open, then scowled when his lawyer was on the other side, his hand raised to knock. “Finally.”

“Apologies. There was some traffic downtown,” Ric Lansing said, smoothly. He strode past Sonny, set his briefcase on the desk. “I brought those documents you wanted.” He flicked his eyes past Sonny. “Ms. McCall.”

“Ric,” Sam said, almost with a sneer. She had no love lost for his lawyer—not since she’d walked in on Ric attempting to convince Sonny that the woman was little more than a con artist trying to fleece him. Not really a great first impression. She flicked her eyes to Sonny. “I’ll be upstairs.”

Sonny dismissed her as soon as she was out of sight, turned to his lawyer. “Ironclad, right? No room to wiggle around and make other demands?”

“No. It’s very clear.” Ric handed it to him. “But you can review it first. Is she getting her own attorney?”

“I didn’t ask.” Sonny scanned the contract, then handed it back. “Looks good,” he replied, as the phone rang. He reached over to grab the receiver. “Hello?”

“Sonny?”

Sonny closed his eyes, turning away from Ric so that the lawyer didn’t see him. The voice sounded like it was a million miles away, but it was familiar. One he hadn’t heard in nearly six months. “Jason.”

“I need—” There was a pause. “I need a favor.”

“Anything,” Sonny said immediately, not caring if it was as simple as shipping something to Italy or arranging for the overthrow of a dictator—if Jason needed something, Sonny would get it for him.

Finally an opening—a road back to where he’d been last year. To get his best friend back. “What is it?”

“I—Elizabeth and I are coming back, but the only flights I can get for a few weeks have layovers. I—I don’t want her to deal with that.”

Sonny’s hand tightened around the receiver, but he swallowed the question. Don’t push too hard. Don’t scare him off. “Just tell me what airport, and I’ll have the jet there tomorow.”

Caracas, Venezuela

Alcazar Compound: Terrace

It was late that same night, and Zander Smith found himself invited up to the big house for dinner. It had been six months since his arrival in Venezuela, and he wasn’t any closer to completing his objective than he’d been in December.

He sipped the glass of rum that had been handed to him when he’d arrived, grimacing at the taste. He’d never been a big fan of hard liquor, but Luis Alcazar was inordinately proud of this label—he made it himself in the distillery somewhere on the estate.

“My apologies,” the man in question spoke from behind him. Zander turned to find Luis in one of the arched doorways, a cigar in his hand, his own portion of rum in the other. “I see Estrellita has taken care of you.”

“Yes.” Zander raised the glass, sipping it. “Thank you for the invitation. What’s the occasion?”

“A  bit of movement finally in the next stage of our plan.” Lorenzo joined him at the railing, listening to the waves crashing beneath them, the compound perched high above it. “I’ve had a call from some friends in Italy.”

“Italy?” Zander repeated. “What’s in Italy?”

“No one anymore,” Luis murmured. “You were right last summer. The way to Sonny Corinthos is through Jason Morgan. He’s proving very hard to kill.”

“You’re not kidding,” Zander muttered.

“Alas, I nearly had him a month ago.” Luis puffed the cigar, exhaled a stream of smoke. “But he has nine lives. Escaped with nothing more than a concussion. The girlfriend, however, nearly died.”

Zander’s chest tightened at the mention of Elizabeth. He usually dismissed thoughts of her, but sometimes he remembered nights at Kelly’s, watching as she and her best friend sipped hot chocolate and laughed. Her best friend, Emily. If Zander had ever loved anyone more than himself, it had been Emily.

And it was Emily he thought of Alcazar spoke of dismissively of Jason’s girlfriend’s near-death experience. Had she worried? Had she cried? Someone had been there to comfort her, he hoped—

“They’re returning to Port Charles.”

Zander frowned. “How is that a good thing?” he wanted to know. “Wasn’t it better to have him on another continent?”

“You’d think,” Alcazar murmured. “But if I can’t kill him somewhere else, I’ll need to change strategy. I’ve been a bit blocked on that front. Writer’s block, if you will. Unsure the best way to take Sonny Corinthos apart, bit by bit.” He tapped the ashes. “We’ll talk and maybe you’ll help me think.”

He gestured for Zander to follow him inside the house, into a large, sumptuous dining room. They weren’t alone.

Already seated next to the head of the table was a slender woman with dark hair and dark eyes. She looked at him, her eyes a bit empty. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen in real life—

He cleared his throat, looked at Alcazar who was smiling.

“My darling,” he said to the woman. “I’ve brought you a treat. Zander Smith. He used to live in Port Charles. I thought you might enjoy trading stories. Zander,” Alcazar said, drawing Zander’s attention. “I’m sure you recognize my better half.” His smile was silky as he continued, “Don’t you?”

It was a test. Would he deny it when Alcazar already knew the answer? And what would he do with this information?

Zander nodded slowly. “Of course,” he said, a bit stilted. “Emily talks about you often,” he told the woman. “I, uh, knew her. You were close with the family, weren’t you?”

The woman smiled, and now there was warmth in her eyes. “I loved them like my own. You have to tell me everything. How is Emily? I haven’t seen her in ages.”

No, of course not, Zander thought. Brenda Barrett had been dead for years. And yet, there she sat, alive and well. Zander took a seat across from Sonny Corinthos’s former fiancée.

He’d been dispatched to the compound as a mole for Hector Ruiz, eager to learn why Alcazar had played a cat and mouse game with Sonny the previous summer.

Well, mission accomplished. Now what?

Sequel to A Few Words Too Many.  This scene is not the opening, but it’s the Liason scene and the longest one. 


Chapter 1

 All day starin’ at the ceilin’ makin’
Friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices tellin’ me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for somethin’
Hold on, feelin’ like I’m headed for a breakdown
And I don’t know why

Unwell, Matchbox 20


Friday, May 1, 2007

Harborview Towers: Hallway

The elevator doors slid open and Jason winced when he saw who was waiting on the other side. “Carly,” he sad warily. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“Someone had to hang out with Elizabeth and the kids,” Carly said as he stepped out. “What’s this I hear about Puerto Rico?”

“I’m not happy about it either—”

“Then don’t go. I thought the whole reason you took Elizabeth’s guard was so some other guy could do stuff down there.” She folded her arms. “I seem to remember you running off to Puerto Ric when she was pregnant the first time, and I told you were dumb then.”

“You didn’t.” That had been Sonny ironically.

“Oh.” Carly furrowed her brow. “Well, I meant to. Seriously, Jase, what gives? Why isn’t Sonny taking this run? I know you always switch off, but this is insane. Sonny doesn’t have a wife and two and a half kids at home. I keep telling her to get a nanny—”

“It’s a nonstarter,” Jason said. “But I’ll try again.”

“You do that.” Carly paused. “Listen, I know I nag you a lot, and I’m sorry for it. Sonny got you in the divorce, which means I got stuck with the Muffin—”

“Four years,  Carly, and you’re still coming up with excuses.” But Jason smiled, because he knew the concern came from a genuine place. “It’s okay to admit you like each other.”

“Never.” Carly sniffed and pressed the button for the elevator. “When this baby pops out, you better give the girl a break.” She made a cutting gesture with her fingers. “Snip, snip, Jase.”

Jason winced, and went to the penthouse. Inside, he was surprised that it was mostly quiet, with Elizabeth on the sofa, her legs up, and a sketch pad in her hands. He stopped for just a moment, flashing back to another moment just like this. He’d been leaving for Puerto Rico, she’d been mere weeks away from delivery—

But today was different. Elizabeth looked up, smiled at him. No shadows in her eyes, no sadness in their depths. He crossed the room to kiss her, then lifted her legs to sit down. “What did you do with the kids? Carly tie them up?”

“No, thought about it though. Cam’s down for his nap, and Cady’s playing with her dolls. Carly bribed her,” Elizabeth admitted.

Jason nodded. “Worth it. I’m sorry about this,” he said with a sigh. “I know this sucks.”

“It does. But it won’t be long,” Elizabeth said. “It’s not like before,” she said softly and their eyes met. “You’re coming home to me as soon as you can. I know that. Em’s coming over to hang out tomorrow and spending the night, and Robin said she had foundation stuff on Sunday. Sonny will be right across the hall, which Max will be, too.”

“And Kevin,” Jason said.

“And Kevin. Sorry I keep forgetting about him,” Elizabeth admitted with a wince. “It’ll get better during the summer. The kids will get to know him.”

“I’m sorry about Cody.”

“Stop apologizing. Cody’s earned his promotion. I’m happy for him.” Elizabeth leaned back against the armrest. “How long until you have to leave for the airport?”

“I need to be there in an hour, so I need to go pack.” He got to his feet, kissed her again. “I’ll stop in with the kids.”

“I’ll enjoy my solitude for as long as it lasts. We’re adding another kid to this mix, we can kiss silence goodbye for at least a decade.”

“I like the noise.” He grinned when she just made a face, then went upstairs.

It didn’t take him long to toss a few things into a duffel bag. He looped the strap over his shoulder, then went cross the hall, knocking gently on the open door.

Cady’s room was still decorated with the peaches and cream colors, her name painted in an arch that spanned over her bed where her crib had once set. A few months after bringing her home, Elizabeth had stenciled Caroline beneath the swirling pink letters above it, Cadence Audrey.

In the corner, an elaborate Victorian style doll house stood. Elizabeth had been a little hesitant to get it this year—Cady was only three and still learning how to be careful with things but she’d wanted it so much—

And Jason never said no when yes was possible.

Cady sat at the base of the house, her tiny fingers clutched around one of her dolls. Her dark  brown, nearly black hair, hung half down her  back, tangled in some places likely from running after her brother.

“Hey,” Jason said softly. She twisted her head, and her face—miniature replica of Elizabeth’s except for her caramel brown eyes—lit up.

“Daddy!” She jumped to her feet and raced across the room. He scooped her up in his arms, hugged her tightly. She always greeted him just like this—as if they’d been separated by decades and oceans, and not a matter of hours and miles. “You back from the plane?”

“Haven’t left yet.” He kissed her forehead and set her down on the bed, perching next to her. “I need to ask you a big favor.”

Cady sighed. “Okay, I don’t take Mr. Buttons again. Even if Cam drops him, and it’s funny.”

“Well, yeah, that’s a good idea—” Jason frowned, then shook his head. “But that’s not the favor. I have to go away for two days. That’s two nights. Two mornings.”

“Very long. Don’t like.”

“Me either, but getting older means doing things you don’t like.”

“I stay young forever. No adulting, Aunt Car says. She says it sucks.”

“She’s not wrong. You know Mommy gets tired really easily right now.”

“Because the baby kicks a lot. It’s not nice. I tell him that when he gets here.”

“I know you will.” He smiled at the thought of his daughter lecturing a baby. He couldn’t wait to see it. Cady had been eighteen months old when Cameron had joined them, so she probably didn’t remember much. “I need you to be a really great big sister and help Mommy take care of Cameron.”

Cady wrinkled her noes. “Do I gots to?”

“Yeah. I know I don’t have to worry with you looking out for him. You’re his big sister. And he’s going to be a big brother in a few weeks. He needs to know how to do it.”

“That true,” she nodded somberly. “He needs lots of practice. So okay. I  help. I get him up and dressed so Mommy doesn’t.” She tucked herself into his side. “Don’t want you to go, Daddy.”

“I know. I’ll call you every day,” he promised. “And I’ll send you postcards just like always. Even though they’ll get here after I’m already home.” He hugged her one more time, wishing he could just stay here. He hated leaving them behind. Most of the time, he’d taken them with him — leaving them on the island while he was in Puerto Rico, then he’d join them for a day or two, completing his own work in less than a day to spend as much time as he could.

This would be the longest he’d left Cady since Italy more than two years ago.

“Love you, Daddy,” Cady said, squeezing hard, though it felt like a feather trying to hold on. “I take good care of Cam. And Mommy.”

“Love you, too.” He kissed her forehead again, held her close for just another minute. “You probably still owe Aunt Carly some doll playing time.”

“Yep.” Cady climbed off the bed, went back to her dolls and pointed at the clock on her wall. “Aunt Car says when the big hand gets to the twelve.”

“That’s fifteen more minutes.” Thank God for Carly, though he’d never say that outloud.

He reluctantly left Cady playing in her room before going next door to peek in on Cameron, sprawled out on his race car bed, his sunny blond hair dim in the shadows. He adjusted the covers over the two-year-old, kissed the top of his head, and closed the door behind him.

Downstairs, he set the duffel on the floor. “No one’s coming over tonight?” he asked, and Elizabeth frowned, setting aside her sketch pad.

“No. We’re good. Sonny said he’d bring over dinner so I wouldn’t have to worry about it.” Elizabeth slid off the sofa, and he hurried over to help her up. “A few more weeks—I can’t wait.”

“Me either.” He rested his hand over her belly, enjoying the press of the baby’s foot against his fingers. “And we made it the whole time without knowing if it’s a boy or girl.”

“You say that like it was in doubt. I told you — this baby was a happy accident. Everything about him—or her—should be a surprise.” She fisted her hand in his shirt to tug him down for a kiss. “Stop worrying,” she murmured, winding her arms around his neck. “It’s under control.”

“I’ll never stop worrying about you. Or the kids.” He rested his forehead against hers. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Hurry home.”

Sequel to A Few Words Too Many.  


Chapter 1

 All day starin’ at the ceilin’ makin’
Friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices tellin’ me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for somethin’
Hold on, feelin’ like I’m headed for a breakdown
And I don’t know why

Unwell, Matchbox 20


Friday, May 1, 2007

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

It always felt a little bit like traveling between worlds, Jason Morgan thought, as he left his bright and airy penthouse, filled with the sounds of kids laughing or crying, the hardwood floors littered with toys and the occasionally tipped over sippy cup or potato chip crumbs to cross the hall to the darkly decorated, eerily silent penthouse where his partner and best friend lived.

It had been just over two years since kids had lived in Sonny Corinthos’s home full-time, and even then, Michael was a quiet kid who kept mostly to his room, and his brother, Morgan, barely old enough to walk much less make a mess. After Carly had kept one too many secrets from her husband, their marriage had imploded and Carly had walked away, taking much of the noise with her.

Jason had lived in this penthouse once, for a little under a year, and he’d liked the silence back then. Now, he really couldn’t imagine a day passing without watching his daughter chase her little brother, Cady’s dark curls flying behind like a streamer, and Cameron’s high-pitched maniacal giggles.

He’d have to do without those sounds for a few days, he thought as he nodded to Max Giambetti, the guard in the hallway, then turned to Sonny. “It should be pretty standard. I’ll be back Sunday night at the latest.”

Sonny nodded. “Yeah, I appreciate you taking this one. I’ve got the rest of the summer,” he told him. “So you don’t have to worry about leaving Elizabeth after the baby gets here.” He crossed to sort through some paperwork on his desk, Jason catching sight of some glossy pamphlets—gathered during one of Sonny’s trips over the last two years. London, Paris, Cairo, Hong Kong—Sonny had racked up the miles while Jason hadn’t been able to leave the country other than runs to Puerto Rico every other month. Not since their Italian honeymoon had left them with a surprise nine months later—Cameron.

“I wish we could skip this month completely,” Jason muttered. “I don’t like being out of town with her this close to the due date.”

“Still got three weeks, don’t you? Elizabeth missed the due date last time, anyway. She could go late.”

“Or she could go early—” Jason exhaled slowly. No point in worrying about any of that. This wasn’t four years ago, he wasn’t running to Puerto Rico to avoid the tension tearing apart his home. They’d been married for three years, together for four, and surprise baby two was due at the end of the month. And their daughter, whose birth he’d nearly missed chasing ghosts in Puerto Rico, had just turned three in December.

“I’m right across the hall,” Sonny reminded Jason. “Max is outside the odor, and—” He frowned. “Who did we end up putting on yours? I can’t remember.”

“Kevin,” Jason said, a bit irritated now. Cody had been the best choice to take over after they’d moved Francis to Puerto Rico, but it wasn’t really a great time to switch up the guard who knew Elizabeth and the kids best. “I know your trip is scheduled for Tuesday—”

“Yeah, that’s all set. I haven’t been back to Rome in years, and I’ll have time to enjoy the food with Kate busy at the photoshoot.” Sonny started rifling through some more paperwork.  “Anyway, Elizabeth is in good hands. You know that.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“And if I ever let anything happen to her, Carly would murder me.”

“That’s true,” Jason said dryly. “All right. I have to go to the warehouse, and then I need to finish packing. I’ll see you on Sunday.”

“See you then.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

“Ugh.” Elizabeth Morgan put a hand on the arm of the sofa and lowered herself slowly to the cushion. “I feel like a ship docking.”

“I don’t miss that,” Carly Jacks offered with a shudder. She swirled her spoon around what was left of her Rocky Road. “But Jax thinks we should think about trying soon.”

“Really? You want to go through this again?” Elizabeth pressed a hand to her swollen belly, grimacing as the baby rolled and then delivered a solid kick to her ribs. “Knock it off. You’re not winning any scholarships in there, buddy.”

Carly pursed her lips. “Maybe not this part, but hey, you’re the one who decided to get pregnant three times in four years.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes. “Not a lot of deciding going on.” A spontaneous round in the shower one morning in Venice (or maybe it been the hot tub—or—well—there had been a lot of spontaneous moments on their honeymoon), and a defective condom mixed with a city wide-blackout, a sleepover at the grandparents, and candlelight — and suddenly, Elizabeth was about to pop out a third kid.

It really wasn’t exactly what she’d planned, but it was still a pretty good deal. She sighed as the oldest, Cady, flew past the coffee table, something clutched in her hands. “Oh, no, she has Mr. Buttons again—”

“On it.” Carly set the bowl on the coffee table and plucked Cady out of the air. “What did we tell you about Mr. Buttons?” she demanded as she held the giggling little girl upside down.

“Mama!” Cameron sobbed as he toddled around the side of the sofa, rubbing his eyes. “Mama! Buttons! Sissy took Buttons!”

“Aunt Carly is on it, baby.” Elizabeth held out a hand to steady him as he climbed onto the sofa and tucked himself into her side. He set one of his tiny hands on Elizabeth’s belly.

“Hi, baby.”  His tears faded as the baby kicked back. “Baby says hi, Mama!”

“Yes, it does—and look—”

Carly dropped the stuffed rabbit into Cameron’s lap. He grinned at her, hugging it closely. “Aunt Car bestest.”

“Bored, Mommy.” Cady sat on the ground dramatically. “Want Daddy.”

“We all do,” Elizabeth said, wincing. “Why is it always the ribs?”

“Because they’re there.” Carly perched Cady on her hip. “Where is your husband? I thought we talked about him leaving you alone with the Twin Terrors right now.”

“Daddy talk to Unca Sonny,” Cady told her aunt. “He has to go on a plane.”

Carly narrowed her eyes, then glared at Elizabeth who just sighed again. “What?’

“Puerto Rico. First weekend of the month. You know that doesn’t change—”

“I know that this doesn’t fall apart if you miss a month—” Carly hissed, set Cady on the ground. “Where’s he going this time, huh? Mexico?”

“He’s not going anywhere,” Elizabeth said. Then gave up under Carly’s withering stare. “He’s leaving on Tuesday for Rome.”

“I knew it—”

“Jason will be back by then—”

“He didn’t even tell me he’s going out of town in four days.” Carly sat back down. “I know we’re divorced, but next weekend is his. He’s only going for a few days? I don’t buy it. It’ll be like that cruise with that last bimbo—”

“Amelia?”

“No, the one before her—” Carly snapped her fingers. “The lawyer. Janna? Joan?”

“Jordan.”

“Right. He’s already cruising the islands of Greece, and I’m waiting for him to pick up the boys—”

“You mad, Aunt Car?” Cady asked. “Unca Sonny do a bad?”

“No,” Carly muttered. “Unca Sonny just sucks at communication. Man, you lie about one little thing—”

“Kristina isn’t really little or a thing—”

“Deathbed confessions mean nothing anymore, do they?” Carly huffed and got to her feet. “Well, when your husband gets home, we’re going to have words.  I told him—”

“He already feels bad enough,” Elizabeth said, and Carly grimaced, recognizing Elizabeth’s tone. “And Sonny already agreed to do the next three months. He’s right across the hall if I need anything, and I seem to remember Sonny being pretty good about women in labor. He was here for Cady.”

“I remember. Okay. But I still think this sucks.”

“Aunt Car, that’s a bad word,” Cady said, shaking her finger sternly. “You say you sorry. Or Mommy gets the soap.”

“I find it hard to believe your mother ever came near you with a bar of soap,” Carly said to her goddaughter.

“Cuz I not say bad words.”

“Nuh uh, Sissy.” Cameron had clearly waited his entire life—all two years of it anyway. “Sissy says the baddest word.”

Cady gasped. “Nuh uh!”

“Uh huh!”

“I should be paying attention to that,” Elizabeth told Carly as their voices got higher and shriller. “But I’ve got worse news.”

“What’s that?”

“I have to pee.” Elizabeth let the back of her head fall against the sofa. “Oh, man, I don’t want to get back up.”

Kelly’s: Dining Room

“I’m not late, I’m not late!”

The bells over the Kelly’s door were still jingly as Nadine Crowell crashed landed into a chair across from Robin Scorpio and Emily Quartermaine. “I made it!”

“Technically,” Robin said. “My watch just turned to 1:31.”

“But I was inside the diner, so it doesn’t count.” Nadine grinned at her, set the pile of folders down. “I was stuck in traffic—”

“Robin leaves ten minutes early for everything to allow for traffic,” Emily said to Nadine. Robin scowled, but threw a French fry at the younger woman.

“Anyway, now that we’re all here—I do appreciate you helping out for the next few months,” Robin told Nadine. “When Elizabeth and I decided to start the foundation last year, she wasn’t exactly planning to be pregnant during our biggest season.”

“No, I think that was my family’s fault,” Emily said.

“I think it’ll be fun to work together. We always have a good time when I volunteer, and Elizabeth said that you’re a master of details,” Nadine told Robin. “Which I suck at, but I make up for it in enthusiasm—”

“And I’m here for comedic relief,” Emily said.

“Perfect.” Robin opened her planner. “Let’s get started.”

Harborview Towers: Hallway

The elevator doors slid open and Jason winced when he saw who was waiting on the other side. “Carly,” he sad warily. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“Someone had to hang out with Elizabeth and the kids,” Carly said as he stepped out. “What’s this I hear about Puerto Rico?”

“I’m not happy about it either—”

“Then don’t go. I thought the whole reason you took Elizabeth’s guard was so some other guy could do stuff down there.” She folded her arms. “I seem to remember you running off to Puerto Ric when she was pregnant the first time, and I told you were dumb then.”

“You didn’t.” That had been Sonny ironically.

“Oh.” Carly furrowed her brow. “Well, I meant to. Seriously, Jase, what gives? Why isn’t Sonny taking this run? I know you always switch off, but this is insane. Sonny doesn’t have a wife and two and a half kids at home. I keep telling her to get a nanny—”

“It’s a nonstarter,” Jason said. “But I’ll try again.”

“You do that.” Carly paused. “Listen, I know I nag you a lot, and I’m sorry for it. Sonny got you in the divorce, which means I got stuck with the Muffin—”

“Four years,  Carly, and you’re still coming up with excuses.” But Jason smiled, because he knew the concern came from a genuine place. “It’s okay to admit you like each other.”

“Never.” Carly sniffed and pressed the button for the elevator. “When this baby pops out, you better give the girl a break.” She made a cutting gesture with her fingers. “Snip, snip, Jase.”

Jason winced, and went to the penthouse. Inside, he was surprised that it was mostly quiet, with Elizabeth on the sofa, her legs up, and a sketch pad in her hands. He stopped for just a moment, flashing back to another moment just like this. He’d been leaving for Puerto Rico, she’d been mere weeks away from delivery—

But today was different. Elizabeth looked up, smiled at him. No shadows in her eyes, no sadness in their depths. He crossed the room to kiss her, then lifted her legs to sit down. “What did you do with the kids? Carly tie them up?”

“No, thought about it though. Cam’s down for his nap, and Cady’s playing with her dolls. Carly bribed her,” Elizabeth admitted.

Jason nodded. “Worth it. I’m sorry about this,” he said with a sigh. “I know this sucks.”

“It does. But it won’t be long,” Elizabeth said. “It’s not like before,” she said softly and their eyes met. “You’re coming home to me as soon as you can. I know that. Em’s coming over to hang out tomorrow and spending the night, and Robin said she had foundation stuff on Sunday. Sonny will be right across the hall, which Max will be, too.”

“And Kevin,” Jason said.

“And Kevin. Sorry I keep forgetting about him,” Elizabeth admitted with a wince. “It’ll get better during the summer. The kids will get to know him.”

“I’m sorry about Cody.”

“Stop apologizing. Cody’s earned his promotion. I’m happy for him.” Elizabeth leaned back against the armrest. “How long until you have to leave for the airport?”

“I need to be there in an hour, so I need to go pack.” He got to his feet, kissed her again. “I’ll stop in with the kids.”

“I’ll enjoy my solitude for as long as it lasts. We’re adding another kid to this mix, we can kiss silence goodbye for at least a decade.”

“I like the noise.” He grinned when she just made a face, then went upstairs.

It didn’t take him long to toss a few things into a duffel bag. He looped the strap over his shoulder, then went cross the hall, knocking gently on the open door.

Cady’s room was still decorated with the peaches and cream colors, her name painted in an arch that spanned over her bed where her crib had once set. A few months after bringing her home, Elizabeth had stenciled Caroline beneath the swirling pink letters above it, Cadence Audrey.

In the corner, an elaborate Victorian style doll house stood. Elizabeth had been a little hesitant to get it this year—Cady was only three and still learning how to be careful with things but she’d wanted it so much—

And Jason never said no when yes was possible.

Cady sat at the base of the house, her tiny fingers clutched around one of her dolls. Her dark  brown, nearly black hair, hung half down her  back, tangled in some places likely from running after her brother.

“Hey,” Jason said softly. She twisted her head, and her face—miniature replica of Elizabeth’s except for her caramel brown eyes—lit up.

“Daddy!” She jumped to her feet and raced across the room. He scooped her up in his arms, hugged her tightly. She always greeted him just like this—as if they’d been separated by decades and oceans, and not a matter of hours and miles. “You back from the plane?”

“Haven’t left yet.” He kissed her forehead and set her down on the bed, perching next to her. “I need to ask you a big favor.”

Cady sighed. “Okay, I don’t take Mr. Buttons again. Even if Cam drops him, and it’s funny.”

“Well, yeah, that’s a good idea—” Jason frowned, then shook his head. “But that’s not the favor. I have to go away for two days. That’s two nights. Two mornings.”

“Very long. Don’t like.”

“Me either, but getting older means doing things you don’t like.”

“I stay young forever. No adulting, Aunt Car says. She says it sucks.”

“She’s not wrong. You know Mommy gets tired really easily right now.”

“Because the baby kicks a lot. It’s not nice. I tell him that when he gets here.”

“I know you will.” He smiled at the thought of his daughter lecturing a baby. He couldn’t wait to see it. Cady had been eighteen months old when Cameron had joined them, so she probably didn’t remember much. “I need you to be a really great big sister and help Mommy take care of Cameron.”

Cady wrinkled her noes. “Do I gots to?”

“Yeah. I know I don’t have to worry with you looking out for him. You’re his big sister. And he’s going to be a big brother in a few weeks. He needs to know how to do it.”

“That true,” she nodded somberly. “He needs lots of practice. So okay. I  help. I get him up and dressed so Mommy doesn’t.” She tucked herself into his side. “Don’t want you to go, Daddy.”

“I know. I’ll call you every day,” he promised. “And I’ll send you postcards just like always. Even though they’ll get here after I’m already home.” He hugged her one more time, wishing he could just stay here. He hated leaving them behind. Most of the time, he’d taken them with him — leaving them on the island while he was in Puerto Rico, then he’d join them for a day or two, completing his own work in less than a day to spend as much time as he could.

This would be the longest he’d left Cady since Italy more than two years ago.

“Love you, Daddy,” Cady said, squeezing hard, though it felt like a feather trying to hold on. “I take good care of Cam. And Mommy.”

“Love you, too.” He kissed her forehead again, held her close for just another minute. “You probably still owe Aunt Carly some doll playing time.”

“Yep.” Cady climbed off the bed, went back to her dolls and pointed at the clock on her wall. “Aunt Car says when the big hand gets to the twelve.”

“That’s fifteen more minutes.” Thank God for Carly, though he’d never say that outloud.

He reluctantly left Cady playing in her room before going next door to peek in on Cameron, sprawled out on his race car bed, his sunny blond hair dim in the shadows. He adjusted the covers over the two-year-old, kissed the top of his head, and closed the door behind him.

Downstairs, he set the duffel on the floor. “No one’s coming over tonight?” he asked, and Elizabeth frowned, setting aside her sketch pad.

“No. We’re good. Sonny said he’d bring over dinner so I wouldn’t have to worry about it.” Elizabeth slid off the sofa, and he hurried over to help her up. “A few more weeks—I can’t wait.”

“Me either.” He rested his hand over her belly, enjoying the press of the baby’s foot against his fingers. “And we made it the whole time without knowing if it’s a boy or girl.”

“You say that like it was in doubt. I told you — this baby was a happy accident. Everything about him—or her—should be a surprise.” She fisted her hand in his shirt to tug him down for a kiss. “Stop worrying,” she murmured, winding her arms around his neck. “It’s under control.”

“I’ll never stop worrying about you. Or the kids.” He rested his forehead against hers. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Hurry home.”

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

Across the hall, Sonny waited for his call to connect, then grinned as the clipped tone of Kate Howard came over line. “I’m sorry, did I interrupt you?”

“No, of course not.” Her voice softened. “I thought it might be Maxie or Lulu telling me about another disaster. Are we still good for Tuesday?”

“Absolutely,” Sonny said. “I’ll be in Rome on Tuesday. Wouldn’t miss it.”

Set immediately after Book 1 ended. This scene is not the opening scene, but the last one in the chapter. I just thought you’d guys would want the Liason scene as an excerpt 😛


Chapter 33

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries are outside the lines
We’ve been conditioned to not make mistakes
But I can’t live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Unwritten, Natasha Bedingfield


Monday, May 15, 2006

Hardy House: Living Room

Elizabeth stepped off the bottom step, the white monitor in her hand. “He always falls sleep the second time through Spiderman,” she reminded Jason as she went over to sit next to him on the sofa. She snuggled close to him, sighing as his arm closed around her shoulder. “I can recite that movie in my sleep.”

He laughed and reached for her hand, drawing it in his lap, lacing their fingers together. “It’s not a bad movie.”

“No, it wasn’t the first eighteen times I saw it. The last one thousand times, it starts to wear on you. But it makes him happy.” She closed her eyes, and just let herself enjoy the moment. The warmth and safety she felt right now.

She didn’t exactly know what they had right now — was a little scared to put a label on it. The last thing Elizabeth wanted to do was rush into another relationship. She’d rushed into marriage with Lucky, she could see that now. Barely a few months after beginning to date again, he’d proposed and she’d accepted. They’d fought so much when she’d tried to be a surrogate—

There had been red flags from the beginning, Elizabeth could see it now, but she’d so wanted a family for her little boy, and when things had been good with Lucky, they’d been really good. She’d trusted the sweet more than she’d noticed the dark.

It would be different this time, she promised herself. Yes, she and Jason had already skipped a few stages. They’d said the L word and had slept together on Saturday, but she’d already taken a step back. She hoped he’d be patient.

And she hoped she’d know when it was right to move forward, and not just her impatience to  get to the happy ending. This time, she really wanted to enjoy the journey.

“You seemed a bit sad earlier,” Jason said. “Was work okay?”

“It sucked. But that’s not why.” Elizabeth leaned up, twisting on the sofa so that she faced him. “I ran into Luke at Kelly’s. I’d been avoiding his calls. He knew I’d left, but not the details.”

Jason tensed. “He didn’t try to change your mind, did he? Emily told me what he did the last time—”

“No. And even if he did, there’s no going back. I like where I am. Where I want to go.” She took the hand he’d clenched into a fist, holding it between both of her own. “But he needed to know about the drugs. And he realized on his own that I’d left before I found out about the drugs. So he knew Lucky…” She paused. It was still so hard to say. Especially to Jason. “He knew Lucky had gotten violent again.”

“Again—” Jason scowled. “He knew the last time?”

“Yes. And if it happened again. Luke knew I was leaving. I know there are reasons I’m not sorry I went back. I needed to understand, I think, that it wasn’t just Lucky’s injuries. It wasn’t just you and me, or Manny, or the situation. I needed to know that it was a deeper problem than that. Lucky and I were always going to end up here. Somehow, someway. He doesn’t love me. Not who I am today. And I don’t love him. And we were destroying each other by looking for who we used to be.”

Jason’s shoulders seemed to relax slightly. “I’m sorry. That you had to go through it at all. You deserved so much more.”

“I’m learning to believe that. And Lucky—he doesn’t deserve to be an obligation. That’s all he was at the end.” Elizabeth sighed. “But it was hard to tell Luke about the drugs. He might have questions for you. I hope you’ll tell him what he needs to know.”

“I will, but—”

“I want to be done with Lucky. I will be as soon as the lawyer Justus recommended can get the divorce petition together. I don’t want anything from him — just his signature on the dotted line. I want my life back, and I want my little boy to be surrounded by love and kindness.” She paused. “But Lucky matters to be people I care about. To Bobbie and Luke. I know you’re angry that Luke asked me to stay. But I said yes. I let myself be convinced, Jason. That’s not entirely his fault. I let myself think that the boy I loved so much could be saved. It was arrogance that sent me back. Arrogance that I could be enough to save him from himself. I can’t save Lucky, but that doesn’t mean I don’t hope someone else will some day. Or that he finds a way to save himself. Because the boy I loved deserves it. It just doesn’t have to be me.”

She stopped, then smiled nervously. “Sorry. I know Lucky is the last person you want to talk about.”

“I want to spend time with you,” Jason told her gently. “And I know that everything you’ve  been through doesn’t disappear overnight because I told you I loved you.”

“I love you, too.” She leaned forward, brushed her mouth against his. “And I hope you’ll still love me when the new rumors start flying because these ones are my fault.”

Jason frowned, tipped his head, his thumb against her chin. “What rumors?”

“Listen, if you hear anything about your ass, jeans, or the lack of them, just know that I was really ticked off.”

“Wait, what?”