February 20, 2021

Hey. Checking in real quick before I go to make sure my car is cleaned up before my vaccination appointment in about an hour. I didn’t get a chance to do a flash fic earlier, so either I might not get to it when I get back or it will be late tonight. We’ll see.

The, uh, reason I didn’t do a flash fiction earlier is that I got distracted by playing with These Small Hours, mostly because I thought I’d try to play with a lot of different ideas and see if anything caught my fancy. So to make up for a possible lack of flash fic, here’s the snippet of These Small Hours I wrote today, beginning after Kate’s shooting back in September 2008.


September 29, 2008

Downtown Port Charles

The traffic light at the next intersection flipped from yellow to red, and the three cars in front of Elizabeth Webber’s Honda Civic slowed to a stop. She made a face, then picked up the phone she had tossed on the passenger side. She had a missed call from her best friend, Patrick Drake, and another from her ex-husband.

But none from the man who had stood her up at the airport, leaving her standing by the gate watching as the flight to Venice had boarded and pulled away from the runway.

Jason hadn’t called until the plane was in the air.

She’d been so sure that he was simply running late—she’d nearly boarded the plane, convinced that he’d make it before the plane took off, but something had kept her from making that leap of faith.

Maybe it was the dim memory as a teenager of watching Brenda Barrett waltz down the aisle in a wedding dress, convinced Sonny Corinthos would keep his promise to marry her, and the humiliation that had followed.

Now the only thing headed to Italy was her luggage.

She’d listened to his hurried apology and explanation—Kate Howard had been shot at her wedding just while Jason was on his way to the airport. He’d had to turn around and hastily get to St. Timothy’s Church to stop Sonny from doing whatever he was going to do.

Elizabeth had accepted the apology, assured him she understood, and had headed to the parking garage where she’d paid in advance for the week. She didn’t even blink when the parking attendant told her it was nonrefundable.

Of course it was.

Elizabeth leaned back in her seat, staring at the traffic light, waiting for it to turn green. She was going to General Hospital, going to work, because it was all she could do to keep her mind off what she knew would happen next.

It had taken every ounce of energy, of faith, of love to keep fighting for Jason to trust that she knew what she was doing, that she was willing to step into his world. He’d finally come around—they had finally been so close to the dream he’d claimed he wanted back in April—

And now Kate Howard had been shot trying to marry the man who had only recently given up the business Jason now ran.

Are we really doing this?

Unless you back out.

Not gonna happen.

“Liar,” she murmured.  She was never going to be allowed to have more than moments, more than a brief glimpse of what life with Jason could be like. And Jake was never going to have his father. She couldn’t believe that after what happened to Kate that Jason would ever give them that chance.  No, not when it had barely been six months since Michael had been shot in the head.

The light turned green, and Elizabeth eased her foot off the brake as the cars in front of her moved. Soon, she’d be back at work, and she’d have the blessed distraction of paperwork to numb her thoughts.

Her phone rang just as Elizabeth was halfway across the intersection, and she reached out with one hand, blindly trying to find it—

She heard the blaring of a horn just a second before the world in front of her spun—a horrifying slam and screech—her car spun, turning it back into oncoming traffic—Elizabeth saw a car heading straight for her—

She screamed and then her car was flying through the air, flipping twice in front of horrified onlookers. Her head was aching, her vision was spotty—and she could hear people shouting—but—

Elizabeth closed her eyes, listening to the sound of her phone still ringing, and everything disappeared.

St. Timothy’s Church: Parking Lot

Jason Morgan grimaced as his second phone call to Elizabeth’s phone went to voice mail. He hoped she wasn’t answering because she was driving and not because she was angry—

Not that she didn’t have every right to be angry, he decided as he turned and scanned the front of the church, waiting for the Port Charles Police Department to release the scene so that Jason could get a look at what the hell had happened.

He’d waited too long to call her, but there hadn’t been time to explain to her that he’d really been hoping that whatever was happening with Kate was something he could delegate even for a few days in Italy. By the time he’d realized how terrible it was—

He’d broken too many promises her to her this last year, and he knew she wasn’t going to wait around much longer.

“They took Sonny to the PCPD.”

Jason turned with a scowl as Cody Paul, his second in command approached. “When? How long ago?”

“Maybe twenty minutes. They just let Max go—” Cody nodded to the man who was coming up behind him with an exhausted air. Max Giambetti had chosen to stay with Sonny as his personal guard when Sonny had turned over the business a few months ago. “We couldn’t find out sooner—”

“What happened inside?” Jason demanded. “They wouldn’t let us near the place—”

“Miss Kate—” Max swallowed hard. “Looked like an angel. Shot right through the back just as she reached the end of the aisle. She’s at GH, and Sonny—he’s not doing good. He’s convinced Johnny Zacchara did this.”

“Johnny?” Jason repeated, blinking. “But he was at the wedding. He brought Lulu, didn’t he?” He scrubbed a hand over his mouth. “Damn it. Where is he? Where’s Spinelli? He’s not answering my calls either—”

“Lulu went crazy at the sounds of the shot,” Max said grimly. “Zacchara and Spinelli took her to GH, hoping they could get her calmed down, but looks like she’s headed right back to Shadybrooke after this. Shame. She looked a lot better.”

Jason exhaled on an irritated huff. “You said Sonny’s at the PCPD?”

“Yeah—”

“Good. That means he’s not on his way to GH to go after Johnny. We got Anthony and Claudia to back down after the last dumbass thing he did—” Sonny had locked Johnny in abandoned mental institution for weeks, convinced he’d taken Michael. Jason closed his eyes at the memory of his nephew, the little boy who would always feel like his own son.

Michael had gone missing for a few weeks earlier that year, but he’d been hiding after accidentally shooting Kate. Then he’d ended up in a coma, the victim of a bullet meant for Sonny.

If Sonny went after Johnny Zacchara again, his psychotic family wouldn’t be so easy to back down, and they’d be out for blood—

His phone rang and Jason looked down at the device in his hand, frowning when he saw Patrick Drake’s name on the screen. Why would—

“Patrick?”

“Jason, I just got a message from dispatch that Elizabeth was in a car accident—”

Jason’s breath caught as he forced himself to ask, “Is she okay?”

“I don’t know. It just—it just happened. They only know it’s her because a paramedic recognized her. It’s—Christ, it’s bad. I’m sure you’re busy but—”

“I’ll be right there.” Jason snapped his phone shut.

“Jason?” Max asked as Cody furrowed his brows.

“Elizabeth—” He took a deep breath. Elizabeth in a car accident just after Kate was shot? What if someone knew about them? What if it hadn’t been an accident—

“Jase?”

Jason snapped to attention when Cody said his name. “Car accident,” he said. “I need you to call the guards on Audrey Hardy’s house. The boys are with her today because—” He couldn’t remember why. They were supposed to be with Lucky— “Call them. Double them.”

“Is Miss Webber okay?”

“I don’t know. I need—I need to—”

“I got this handled, Jason,” Cody told him. “Sonny’s at the PCPD, I’ll get men there to keep him from Zacchara.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Okay.” Jason yanked open his car door and it wasn’t until he was halfway to the hospital before he even had time to wonder how Patrick had known to call him.

General Hospital: Emergency Room

Patrick emerged from a cubicle just as Jason rushed through the doors. He called the enforcer’s name, stopping Jason from going to the nurse’s desk.

“Where is she? Is she okay? What happened?” Jason demanded.

“She’s being taken down to X-Ray,” Patrick said, stripping off his gloves and tossing them in a nearby medical waste bin. “Her car was broadsided by some asshole running a red light. Her car got shoved into oncoming traffic. The car flipped a few times. Thank God—” He dragged a hand through his shaggy dark hair. “Thank God for seat belts and airbags or she’d be dead. And if she’d been even six inches more through that intersection, that car would have hit her and not her fucking front end—”

He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, cleared his throat. “Sorry. Sorry. The paramedics just—she’s alive. She’s banged up, pretty bruised. I’m worried about some cracked ribs, but she’s alive.”

The relief on the other man’s face was so stark, so palpable that it made Patrick feel irrationally angry. “Why wasn’t she on the goddamn plane? She was supposed to be somewhere over Canada—”

Jason frowned, then glanced around them and now Patrick really wanted to punch him. The knowledge that his hands were more important and that Jason could probably crack him in two without blinking kept him from throwing the punch.

But he really wanted to.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you worried someone might see that you give a damn? Sorry to interrupt whatever was more important. She’s alive. You can go back to ignoring her—”

“What the hell—”

Patrick didn’t even bother waiting for him to finish his statement. He whirled around and started for the main desk to find another chart, to search out another patient so he could get his mind off Elizabeth and the worry about her ribs—

“I wasn’t ignoring her. I would never—”

“Except that you do.” Patrick took a deep breath. “She told me she was going to Italy with you because she wanted someone to know where she was since she couldn’t tell her grandmother, and Lucky is, on his best day, a giant fucking piece of shit. She was excited, you know that, don’t you? She’s talked about going to Italy for as long as I’ve known her—”

“I know that—” Jason started.

“When I heard about the accident on the dispatch, I thought—I thought she was on her way to the airport. I called you because I thought you’d be waiting for her.” Patrick’s eyes burned into Jason’s. “But then I rechecked the flight info. She was coming home. And she was only on that road at the minute because you didn’t show up at the airport.”

“I—” Jason’s mouth tightened, and he dipped his head. “I know.”

“She’s my best friend. My family,” Patrick said, gritting his teeth. “You and I both know she can do better than you.”

“I do—”

“But she’s picked you. Either end it for good, Morgan, or man up, and stop wasting time. After what’s happened this last year, you’d think you of all people would remember that life is too damn short to waste time.”

General Hospital: Hospital Room

Everything hurt.

Elizabeth forced her eyes open and tried to breathe through the pain. Her wrist felt heavy and sore—more sore than the rest of her body, but man, it was actually hard to figure out which part of her hurt the most.

The room was dark—the only light peeked through the bottom of the closed door—and gradually, she realized she was in a hospital room.

A few other things started to come back to her—the airport, the call from Jason—the crunch of metal—

“Elizabeth?”

She cleared her throat, then licked her lips, and turned towards the voice. “J-Jason?”  She could dimly make out the shape of his torso,  the movement of his head as he leaned towards her. “What…what happened…”

“You were in a car accident.” He picked up her hand—the one that didn’t feel heavy and sore— “You’re okay. I mean, you bruised your ribs and broke your wrist—there’s a concussion—”

“That explains the pain.” She closed her eyes. “A car accident.”

“On the way home from the airport.”

“Right.” The airport. The trip to Italy that she was never going to take. “My bags. They’re on the plane.”

“I’ll call the airline and get them back. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Kate was shot. Sonny tends to go insane when you’re not looking.” Elizabeth stared at the ceiling. “Gram has the boys?”

“She does—it’s not okay.”

“Jason.” She took a deep breath. “I remember what happened earlier this year. I know you have things to do. You can—you can go. I’m okay—”

“I’m not going anywhere—”

“Someone might see you—”

“People have already seen me,” Jason interrupted. “You’ve been unconscious for six hours, and I haven’t left this room. I didn’t know when you’d wake up, and I didn’t want you to be alone.”

“Six—” Elizabeth turned her head towards him, wincing at the movement. The room was still dark. “But things—you need to be doing things.”

“I’ve got it handled.” Jason hesitated. “I mean, eventually, I have to do a few things, but they can wait. You come first.”

Her lip trembled. “That’s—but Kate was shot. I thought you’d—”

“All year,” he said slowly, “you told me that you understood the risks, and that it was your choice to make.”

She felt his lips, soft and gentle against her forehead. “We don’t need to do this tonight. You’re tired, and Patrick says you can go home tomorrow. Why don’t you get some rest? We can talk in the morning.”

“You’ll be here?”

“I’m not leaving you. I promise.”

February 19, 2021

Update Link: A King’s Command, Part 19

Happy Friday! We went back to the building for two days this week — we ended up being remote for snow on Thursday, and we’re always scheduled for half remote days on Fridays.  Really tired that first day, but it was better the second. I still don’t have kids in the classroom, but I get to do lunch duty which is something. That’s all great, but we already have teachers on quarantine on Monday due to a positive case in the school. Going to be an interesting few days. I’ll be doing Flash Fiction early tomorrow since I have my vaccination appointment tomorrow evening, probably early afternoon or so.

I’ve been working hard on getting Fool Me Twice ready for Tuesday’s release date — I’ve scheduled chapters through March 11, and I’ll have another week’s worth of chapters scheduled tonight as soon as I finish editing Chapter 8. Tomorrow, I’ll get Chapters 9 & 10 ready, then on Sunday, I’ll be working on 11 & 12. Chapter 12 is where I got stuck the last time, but I’ve given myself a decent buffer zone and managed to get it to fall on a Sunday where I’ll be able to work on it off and on all day since it has several scene rewrites.

Thanks so much to everyone who filled out the survey! I had so many responses I actually exceeded the free responses on Survey Monkey in the first 12 hours (40), so I made a copy and created a new one which had 30 more responses. I really appreciate all the response and interest in helping me work on a new project.

It mostly looks like you guys are interested in Broken Girl and Mad World, and you want more Liason stories set between 2006-2008. For Alternate Universe, you were pretty solid on Contemporary, but the other questions were mostly evenly split. I do appreciate this feedback, and I’ll be thinking about it more tomorrow and letting you know how I’m going to moving forward.

In Flash Fiction news, I sat down to plot out the rest of A King’s Command, and it actually works out evenly with Not Knowing When. Both stories will conclude by Sunday, March 21. On Friday, March 26, Signs of Life will return as the Friday/Sunday double feature. On Saturday, March 27, the sequel to A Shot in the Dark will be starting. I need to update the title for that one because I hate the working title. That’s the story Tania requested — a rewrite of the Tom Baker story in 2016.  I’m actually really happy that I’ll be starting the last of the Flash Fictions in March, which means they should be done by May and let me have a bit of a break to think about Flash Fiction going forward.

February 17, 2021

Hey, it’s been a long time since I got your feedback on what you guys wanted to read next, and I’ve been very fortunate that you guys have been on board with pretty much everything I’ve put out over the last year.  I’ve been struggling with inspiration and just getting my head wrapped around a new project. I said I was pressing pause on my production schedule because I didn’t feel any of the projects I’d planned. This is mostly just because I’m personally struggling. This is where I’m hoping getting some feedback from you guys on what you want to see might help. I’m not committing to any of the choices that win, but I’m just hoping that seeing where you guys are might help inspire me and get my head back into the game.

So this survey asks you to rank some of the choices for my next history rewrite as well as what part of Liason’s history you want to see more from in general. There are also some general Alternate Universe questions to see what you’re interested in.

Some of the questions ask you to rank — 1 is the one you want to read the most, and it goes from there.

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/DSD2MPW

I’ve got some brief summaries below –

History Rewrites

Broken Girl Book 2: Follow up to last year’s Book 1. After Lucky goes to rehab, Liason try to figure out a relationship while going slowly. Then Lucky comes back and Liz has to really face how to deal with the abuse he inflicted on her.

Mad World Book 4: Finale to the series. Liason deal with her pregnancy, Sonny and Carly, and Ric. (and lots of other stuff)

Malice, sequel to Bittersweet: set in summer of 2003 after Liason leaves to trial. They return, and we wrap up the Alcazar storyline with Brenda’s part of it.

Burn in Heaven, sequel to A Few Words: Faith returns to inflict revenge three years later in 2007.

Kismet: set in 1997. What if Elizabeth is around when the Michael stuff starts instead of Robin?

These Small Hours, set 2008: rewrites the aftermath of Kate Howard’s shooting and the Russians. Johnny/Nadine and Liason focus.

Alternate Universe

Sky is Falling: Jason is a former cop who left the force when a serial killer he investigated killed his sister and left Liz for dead. Guy got away and returns to go after Liz.

Smoke and Mirrors: Robin, Nadine, and Liz are cousins who have magical powers and a family curse. Would be Scrubs, Nohnny, and Liason.

Whatever It Takes: Flash Fiction revision. Jason & Liz are married, but separated after death of their unborn child in a car bomb.

An Everlasting love: Flash Fiction revision. Western. Jason and Liz are childhood sweethearts separated by circumstances and villains.

February 16, 2021

Update Link: Fool Me Twice – Excerpt

RicochetExcited to give you guys a peek at the first chapter of Ricochet, book one in the Fool Me Twice trilogy. This opening scene is a flashback to set the stage. Every chapter in Fool Me Twice will have a flashback filling in a piece of backstory not seen on screen. I can’t wait for you guys to read this. New chapters will be posted Tuesdays & Thursdays until I’ve completed my edit of the entire story. At that point, like I did with For the Broken Girl, I will post all remaining chapters.

In other news, I’m going to be revising my 2021 Production Schedule this week. I’ve been struggling a lot with just my general health, mentally and physically which you guys know about. I’m hoping that between going back to school tomorrow and having some contact with my students (at least on lunch duty) and starting the publication of FMT next week, I’ll be able to shake out of this, but I honestly can’t promise the release dates I set up even a few weeks ago. January was a very tough month, and February hasn’t really turned things around for me just yet in a lot of ways. I’m better, but I’m still not at the point where I think I should be promising projects.

I apologize for the vague-ness of this announcements. I don’t even know what it means for me yet beyond just not planning anything for a few weeks and just getting back to a schedule of leaving my house every morning for work. You’ll still be getting FMT chapters and Flash Fiction, so it really just affects us going into the summer when the next book comes out. I’ll keep you guys in the loop 🙂

February 14, 2021

Very sorry guys. I was relaxing today and reading, and just kind of lost track of time. I didn’t even eat dinner yet, LOL, and it’s just past 7 PM EST here. I do feel bad about noping out of both updates for King’s Command this weekend, so I’ll try to make up for it at some point this week with an update.

I basically ignored EVERYTHING this weekend, including prepping for the upcoming week — I didn’t even do my lesson plans which are due on Thursdays. I feel better for relaxing after the horrible day I had on Friday and all of the last week, but that just means I have a lot to do tomorrow since we’re supposed to be back in my building on Tuesday, so my schedule changes. I have to prep dinner, do laundry, prep posts and lesson plans — Of course, we’re supposed to have a terrible ice storm so let’s see if we’re even back. 2021, man.

And because I do feel so bad about this, I’m going to post an excerpt from Fool Me Twice tonight — a Liason scene that’s from Chapter 16 but doesn’t give a way too much. It takes place maybe two weeks after Jason returns. Enjoy!


Floating Rib: Parking Lot

They’d renamed the bar six months before Jason had been shot and shoved into the frigid waters of the harbor, but somehow he’d let himself forget that fact. Even so, the interior had always looked the same, and Jason just wanted to go inside and lose himself the way he’d used to—

But someone had redecorated it, and the dingy color and broken down furniture had been replaced by newer and brighter colors. It wasn’t the same. It wasn’t Jake’s.

Nothing was the way it was supposed to be, and Jason just stared at the building for a long time, feeling more lost than he had a right to be. It was just a bar. Just a place.

But it had always been his safe place. The one spot in the entire world he could count on—

His phone rang again, and Jason looked down at it, expecting to see Michael, Sonny, or Carly’s name flash across the screen. Spinelli had given up almost an hour ago, but the other three had called every few minutes.

He didn’t know what to say to any of them. How to handle it. How to process what had happened or why it had hit him so hard—he’d never liked AJ, that was no secret. Why did it twist something inside of him so hard to learn that AJ had been alive all that time, that he’d returned to rebuild his life—

That Sonny had killed him, and Carly had helped to cover it up?

But the call wasn’t from Sonny, Carly, or Michael. It was Elizabeth. Thinking it was about Jake—if he could see his son, maybe—

“Elizabeth?”

“Hey. Are you busy right now?”

Jason looked at the sign over the bar, then shook his head. “No. I’m not.”

“Great. Can you meet me at the corner of Van Ness and Arnold? There’s something I need to do, and I could use your help.”

Relieved at the distraction, Jason agreed, “I’ll see you in a few minutes.” He hung up the phone, then got back into the SUV.

When he arrived at the street corner Elizabeth had given him, he pulled up behind her car, then stepped out to find her leaning against a chain-link fence. “Hey. What’s up? Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” Elizabeth said. She gestured towards the building behind the fence—the building he hadn’t noticed before now. And the parking lot out front. Jason took in the lines of motorcycles, swallowing hard.

She’d brought him to a motorcycle dealership.

“Elizabeth—”

“It’s been a long time since we went nowhere fast,” she told him, “and I had a really bad day. I thought maybe you might need a ride, too.”

February 13, 2021

Update Link: Not Knowing When – Part 11

Hello 🙂 Happy to report it’s been twelve hours since I woke up and still no migraine turning. That’s a good sign, and I think the new nasal spray/steroid combo the doctor gave me on Thursday is helping. I’m just hoping it won’t be like the prednisone which resolves the problem while I’m using it but then it comes back. I feel better today – I was even able to cook dinner which was the first time I felt up to it.

I finished the Fool Me Twice subsite and linked the banner above to the site. I even scheduled the excerpt going up on Tuesday. I’m even happier about this decision to change the release schedule than I was the last time I changed it, LOL.

Not Knowing When has about five parts (after tonight), and I think I’ll be wrapping this up just around the same time I’m finishing A King’s Command. I haven’t finished plotting that one out yet, but five weeks would put me at ten more parts ish, which sounds about right. This means Signs of Life will be coming back some time in late March with the final story in the Collect Your Regrets (Devil On My Back) universe starting around the same time.

I’ve decided what to do with Flash Fiction once the in progress stories are done. I’ll be keeping the Friday-Sunday schedule for now, until September when I go back to work because my Fridays will be full days. When I finish Signs of Life and Devil on My Back, I’ll be switching to a new plan. I’ll update a story on Fridays & Sundays, and then on Saturdays, I’ll be bringing back the concept I used to write The Ghost in the Girl. Basically, taking a scene or storyline point that will be a short story (four parts) and doing that.

First, thanks so much for your warmth and understanding last night. Sarah, I had completely forgotten I owned a diffuser, so I dug it out and found my peppermint oil. Thanks for that reminder! That actually helped a lot last night and I’m using it this morning as well. I went out this morning to get Excedrin Migraine because that has helped in the past, but I had ran out of it and didn’t have the energy to get yesterday. I feel a lot better this morning, which I had hoped for.

What follows is a little bit of explanation about my history with TMJ so you can see why it flaring up like this is a cause for concern. If you want to skip to the part about FMT, feel free to do so.

My TMJ

Last night, I canceled Flash Fiction Friday because I had a screaming migraine — something that indicated to me my TMJ was back in full force.  I knew my TMJ was creating issues thanks to the diagnosis from my specialist on Thursday on what’s causing my ear problems, but I was really hoping that some of the worst parts would spare me this time.

When I was a sophomore in college back in fall 2010, I took six classes, including two foreign languages classes, and had to write 16 papers in 15 weeks. By the end of the semester, I had these pains in my jaw and could barely sleep. I went to the doctor, then to a specialist and spent about a year on a variety of meds that barely controlled the pain. I was on low-grade anti depressants and taking a combination of like six pills a day, including pills to help me sleep.

In early 2012, I was on a trip to London with friends, and I was so tired and worn out from the flu that I wasn’t paying attention to my meds. Instead of taking the anti-depressants (in low dosages treats TMJ), I took five of the sleeping pills. I realized almost immediately what I’d done, but my best friend and I were freaking out, and I had to force myself to throw up — but I was TERRIFIED to sleep, and so was Lauren.

It was at that point that I knew I didn’t want to control TMJ through medication anymore.  For my last year in class (I graduated in 2013), I really focused on learning to relax and manage stress better, and that mostly worked. I’ve had some flare-ups, mostly during the 2018 semester at grad school when I was doing two grad classes, full time student teaching, working a part-time job, and then lost my grandmother in April.

As you might imagine, this last year really tested my stress levels. I live alone, a lot of my best friends live more than ten minutes away, so we didn’t form a quarantine pod with one another. I’ve struggled in my new job, and the world around us has just made it harder to concentrate on self-care even when I know knew it was important.

To find out that the ear problems I’ve been having is just another symptom of this stress condition I’ve dealt with for ten years — it was kind of my wake up call that I need to take a good look at the things that cause my stress and do what I can to manage, reduce, or even eliminate the stress.

FMT & Stress

I really love the idea of writing and releasing an entire novel at once, then moving on to the next project, but I also have to accept it’s not going to happen with Fool Me Twice. And it’s so disappointing because of all my projects, this should have been the story that made that system work.

Zero percent of my problems have been with the story itself. It’s not like Broken Girl which I had to start three times or Mad World which needed a reset and additional chapters (and a whole extra book). I did a complete discovery for Fool Me Twice, wrote the alpha draft in ten weeks despite working a full-time job, and the edits are not insane. They’re typical — strengthening beats, rewriting/adding a few scenes, and cleaning up inconsistencies. My schedule should have worked. But between the world, my job, and my physical health, it’s just been impossible to keep a schedule with this project. Basically, what this boils down to is that I spent some time thinking about what is creating the stress with FMT and how can I deal with that.

Writing is, unfortunately, the one place in my world, where I have complete control. I have to go to my job, I have to pay my bills, and I need to clean my house and do basic stuff to be a functional adult. In the past, when life has overwhelmed me, when I’ve been in grad school and juggling two jobs, I put writing off. I didn’t write a lot between 2016-2018, I’m sure you guys remember.

But writing is also one of the few spaces that gives me joy. Writing, reading, and my students. These are the things that make the stress worth living through.  Sometimes I thrive on deadlines, and sometimes they make me miserable. Right now, it’s making me miserable.

I don’t want to delay releasing Fool Me Twice to the general public. I love this story. I am so proud of it. I don’t want to wait 2-3 months to publish just so I can drop it in one or two parts.

FMT – Release Updates

Feb 16 – I was originally going to publish the first chapter as a preview before dropping 2-20 on Feb 23. What I’ll publish is the opening scene as an excerpt.

Feb 23 – Chapter 1

Feb 25 – Chapter 2

And then I’ll be publishing on Tues & Thurs for the next few weeks. I have my notes for the first ten chapters and it’s just a clean up situation on those chapters which I can actually finish in a few days. I anticipate having those full ten chapters complete cleaned up and scheduled by this Friday, if not earlier.

That gives me five weeks to get more chapters together. At the end of that five weeks, I’ll reassess. If I’ve finished the full 38 chapter edit after the first five weeks, I’ll drop the whole book. If I don’t, I’ll keep the 2 a week until that full edit is done. I think that’s the best way forward to give me space and time to relax, to focus, and to put out quality work.

Thank you so much for your continued support and understanding. I generally thrive under deadlines, but I have to reset the deadlines right now so I can concentrate on my real life, my health, and still maintaining the parts of writing that gives me joy. I love the creation of my stories, and I love watching you guys read it.

Flash Fiction

At the moment, I plan to be back tonight with Not Knowing When, and back tomorrow with King’s Command. I have Monday off from work, and I’m contemplating doing A King’s Command that evening, but I am not committing to that at this point. I’m going to be relaxing this weekend, and getting ready to return to the building on Feb 16, so I’ve got a lot on my plate this weekend. I also anticipate maintaining my Weekend schedule with Flash Fiction as long as my health improves.

February 12, 2021

Hey, sorry, no update tonight. Woke up with a screaming migraine that isn’t going away. I think I mentioned that I haven’t been feeling one hundred percent the last few weeks due to an ear situation. It was being treated with prednisone until about two weeks ago, but it hasn’t gone away. I went to a specialist Thursday and it’s not going to be an easy fix — plus he didn’t give me more Prednisone, so the ear problem is combining with sinus issues, and it’s just a whole thing.

I developed TMJ (a stress condition where you grind your teeth and clench your jaw) while in college. I mostly control it through behavioral changes and relaxation, but that’s not been possible this year. Apparently, the whooshing in my ear is literally my carotid artery pressing against my ear canal because the jaw clenching has shifted the ear canal closer. And something in the whole system is inflamed and making me miserable. Which I am.

I’m really hoping this is like the old days with TMJ where I would get screaming migraines for a day, and then wake up better the next day. I’ve literally been laying down all day and don’t feel better. I’ll check in with you guys, but I’ve been so useless this week — I haven’t done an inch of work on anything outside of my job since Sunday. If I can’t get work done this weekend, we’re going to need to start talking about delaying FMT on Feb 23.

I’ll keep you guys in the loop.

February 11, 2021

This entry is part 9 of 9 in the Vlog: Fool Me Twice


Series


Topic

Editing Fool Me Twice in the middle of pandemic with other issues — how I remind myself once again I’m in charge of my own schedule and the difficulty I have in even asking myself for help.


Transcript

coming soon

February 9, 2021

I forgot this was going live today and didn’t get a chance to write the post in advance. I’m taking a sick day from work today because of my ear issues, so it won’t be as detailed as normal. Below will be the highlights.


General Writing

  • First few weeks of January weren’t great, mental health wise.
  • Stuff got done, but quality varied.
  • Feeling better once I finished a project at work.
  • Some days are better than others, just like everyone else going through this crap.
  • Back in the building on Feb 16, and getting my first vaccine dose on Feb 20, so February should be interesting.

Site & Channel

  • Wasn’t able to get things done on the channel, but planning to get back into it during February.
  • Today, status video. Thursday, FMT vlog, then next week launching two new series — Origins and Future Projects.
  • Got some site work done for the Facelift and easing myself back in.

Individual Story

Flash Fiction

  • Brought Flash Fiction back in January. Mostly kept the schedule, but it got a bit stressful due to my own issues.
  • When current round is done, FF will be on a break while I decide whether or not I want to continue doing it.
  • A Shot in the Dark is completed. Working currently on A King’s Command and Not Knowing When.
  • When one of those is done, I’ll bring back Signs of Life.
  • After that, there’s one more story I need to write for Collect Your Regrets universe — in order to write the original story request by Tania, I wanted Liason in a good place with Jake back so I wrote the first two stories.
  • I expect to be done that sometime in May or June. We’ll see.

Broken Girl, Book 2

  • Starting first draft on March 1.
  • Expected release sometime in June, but that depends on the first draft.
  • May or may not push out release to July.
  • Story is fully broken down by scene and chapter. Just needs to be soundtracked.

Mad World, Book 4

  • On schedule to write and edit this summer.
  • Scheduled for October release.
  • Do not let me write a book 5.

Fool Me Twice, Book 1

  • Vlog coming out on Thursday about editing.
  • Editing got complicated because of my mental health issues.
  • Felt like I was rushing edits and even then I wasn’t going to finish on time.
  • So splitting it just made sense.