But I’m a fire, and I’ll keep your brittle heart warm
If your cascade ocean wave blues come
All these people think love’s for show
But I would die for you in secret
The devil’s in the details, but you got a friend in me
Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

---

August 2002

“But just for tonight…I don’t want to be safe.”

The words were soft, almost carried away by the breeze rolling off the lake, but they reached his ears, and Jason turned, looked at her, at her quiet expression.

Elizabeth reached for his hand, tugging it from his pocket, then wrapped her soft fingers around it. He stared down at it, wondering why, even with the bandage on her arm, she was still standing here, looking at him like he wasn’t anything but death and poison to anyone standing too close.

He swallowed, tried to pull his hand back, but she wouldn’t release it. Instead, she stepped closer, brought the other hand up to lay it against his chest, her touch searing straight through the black cotton shirt.

“Elizabeth.”

“Tonight. Just tonight,” she said, her hand sliding up to his neck, brushing the line of his jaw. “You can walk away from me tomorrow.”

Jason swallowed hard. “I don’t want to walk away from you at all.” She’d done the walking, hadn’t she? “But I—”

“—have to, I know you believe that.” A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “But Sonny’s not going home alone tonight, is he? Why should you?”

He closed his eyes, thinking of nothing else but the way her skin felt against his, the caress of her fingers against his cheek. “Elizabeth?”

“Unless you don’t want me.” He heard the uncertainty now in her voice, and his eyes flew back open. Her lips trembled. “I thought I’d misread everything before, and I made a mistake. But then, at the warehouse, y-you looked at me.”

He’d wanted her for too long, and now she was standing here, offering herself — all he had to do was reach for her. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I only hurt without you, Jason.” She stepped towards him, closer and closer until her body brushed his. Her hand curved around the nape of his neck, her nails lightly scratching at his hairline—everything tightened, and he thought — why was he saying no? Why wouldn’t he just take what she wanted to give him?

“Just for tonight,” Jason said, and her lips parted. “And you won’t argue with me tomorrow?”

Her lips curved, and a knowing glint sparked in her eye, and he lost his breath at how beautiful she was and how stupid he was for still standing here instead of dragging her to the nearest room. “I’ll make you a deal. If you wake up tomorrow, and you haven’t changed your mind, I won’t say a word.”

He couldn’t help himself — he smiled, shook his head. “Why don’t I believe you?”

“Because you know when I want something, when I really want it, I don’t let anything stand in my way. It just took me a little time to realize that something—someone—is you.” She was wistful now. “I’m sorry. For everything that’s happened—”

He pressed a finger against her lips. “No more apologies,” he said. He stroked the line of her jaw. “Come with me.”

“Anywhere.”

He changed their grip on their joined hands, tugging her towards the dock stairs. Before he lost his nerve, before she changed her mind.

It was a short ride from the parking lot at Kelly’s to the garage underneath Harborview Towers. Her fingers were trembling when she handed him the helmet, and she tried to hide it by smoothing out her hair, mussed from the ride.

Jason caught her hand, felt the tremors. “If you’ve changed your mind—”

“That’s not why I’m—” She leaned up, pressed her mouth to his, backing him against the wall of the parking garage, winding her arms around his neck. Startled, Jason took a half second to register her meaning — she’d been shaking not from nerves, but desire.

He gripped her waist, dragging her tight against him, digging his fingers into the fabric of her black dress. “We need to get on the elevator now,” he murmured against her neck. “Or we’re going to end up on the security cameras.”

Her cheeks were flaming, her eyes dazed when he pulled back. Her hand tucked firmly in his, he headed for the elevators, stabbing his finger at the button, muttering impatiently. What if she changed her mind halfway up, what if he came to his senses—

The doors dinged and Elizabeth pulled him on board. He hit the button for the penthouse floor.  “There are cameras, aren’t there?” she asked, wistfully. “You and Sonny are too careful for there not to be.”

It might be the first time he regretted the security that kept the building safe. He brushed his knuckles against her cheek. “Yeah.”

She sighed. “Fine. I can wait fifteen floors.”

He shook his head, grinning slightly. “Stand over there or I’ll forget the cameras are there.” She shot him another wicked look, but obeyed, backing up against the other side of the elevator. How did she do it, he wondered? Less than an hour ago, he’d been laid low, and now all he could see was her, standing across from him, her hair windblown and tangled from his hands, her lips swollen from his kisses—

The elevator lurched to a stop, and the doors opened. Elizabeth fisted a hand in his shirt, pushed him out into the hallway, fastening her hot mouth against his. He hit the hallway wall hard, one hand in her hair, the other digging in his pockets for the keys.

“Still cameras,” he managed against her mouth, and she groaned, resting her head against his chest. “Let me get my keys—stop distracting me—”

“Distracting you? You’re the one looking at me like that,” she grumbled, but he towed her towards the door, shoving the key in and twisting it. He threw open the door, didn’t even bother to retrieve the keys from the lock. He pulled her inside, and got the door shut just as she pushed him against it, her hands at his waist, tugging at the belt he wore. She whipped it out of the loops, and dimly he heard it hit something behind them.

His fingers fumbled for the zipper of her dress, but kept losing it in her hair, and getting distracted by her quick hands reaching inside his pants—  “This will be over too quick if you keep that up,” he warned her.

“Promises, promises,” she moaned, but he wasn’t going to let it be like that. With one hand, held both her wrists together over her head, then turned her so that he could get to the zipper on her dress. He tugged it down, then released her hands to peel the fabric over her shoulders—she shimmied and wiggled until it had pooled at her feet, leaving her in nothing but lacy black scraps.

Jason dropped his head to her shoulder, took a deep breath. “Oh, man. I changed my mind.”

Her eyes went wide, then narrowed into slits. “I’m going to kill you—”

“Not about that—” He kissed her, cupping her face with both hands. “About tomorrow.”

“What does that mean?” She drew back, looked at him. “Jason—”

“It means you don’t have to argue with me. I can’t—” Some of the urgency faded, and he brushed his mouth against hers, kissing her reverently, slowly, until she nearly collapsed against him. “If this is what you want. If I’m what you want—”

“You know you are.” She licked her lips. “I know what I’m getting into, Jason, I’ve always known. And if being safe means not having you, then I told you, I don’t want to be safe. I want this. I want you.”

She found the hem of his shirt, whipped it over his head, then splayed her hands against his muscled chest, the feel of the lace scraping against his skin. “Do you want me?”

“More than my next breath.” He kissed her again, then lifted her in his arms. “But I’m going to do this right.”

“Right? What happened to right now?” she asked with a pout as he headed towards the stairs.

“Oh, it’s still right now. But we’ve got all night.”

“Fine. Ravish me in a bed instead of against a door,” she said with a sigh. “We can always come back to that.”

“I like the way you think.”

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