But I can see us lost in the memory
August slipped away into a moment in time
‘Cause it was never mine
And I can see us twisted in bedsheets
August sipped away like a bottle of wine
‘Cause you were never mine

---

August 2006

Her smile was bright and wide when she saw him at the top of the stairs, and though he’d been on his way to the warehouse, Jason couldn’t stop himself. Drawn to that smile like a moth to a flame, he sat next to her.

“Hey,” he said, and her smile widened. Maybe she was remembering the last time they’d seen each other. When she’d left his penthouse after spending the night together.

“Hey,” Elizabeth echoed. “It’s been a few days.”

Too many, Jason thought, but he didn’t say that. “How are you?”

“Good. Good. I called Alexis. She filed for divorce.” The smile dimmed slightly, and those beautiful eyes looked out over the lake. “Lucky was in the apartment when I got home that morning. He said he wanted to get help for the pills.”

Jason squinted a little. “But that’s good, isn’t it?”

“For him. But I’ve known people with a drug addiction. You’ve known people mixed up with drugs. Do they all have affairs?” Elizabeth asked, and Jason sighed, looked away. “That’s what I thought. I know the drugs lowered his inhibitions, but that just means he wanted to sleep with her. I mean, we were drinking that night. Do we blame the alcohol?”

His head snapped up, and he scowled. “I wasn’t drunk.”

“Neither was I.” And now she was smiling again. She held a cup from Kelly’s in her hand, played with the top of the straw. “And I’m not sorry.”

“Me either.” He stretched his arm along the top of the bench. “Did he take the news okay?”

“He’s angry, but I just reminded him he was having an affair with his boss’s barely legal stepdaughter, so if he wanted to make problems, I’d make them right back.” Her lips curved into a smirk. “Do you know how good it felt to say that? Imagine, all these months, he’s been second-guessing me, accusing me of having an affair with Patrick, and he had the nerve to blame me.” She rolled her eyes. “I swear, I heard him blaming me again for the pills, and I just—I stepped outside myself, and I looked at him, and I thought — is this who I want to be with? This…person…who always blames me when something goes wrong?” She shook her head.

It was refreshing to see her talking about Lucky Spencer this way, a jackass who’d never deserved half the love and affection she’d lavished on him over the years, Jason thought. But he knew not to trust it. Lucky would probably talk her around in a few months. He’d stay clean, and remind her of promises she’d made when she’d been young, and manipulate her back into his life. Just like he always did.

But he’d enjoy it while it lasted. “I’m sorry you’re going through that—”

“Are you?” Elizabeth slid a suspicious look from beneath her lashes. “You’re a better person than me. Nothing’s happening now that wasn’t a problem the last time I was with Lucky. I thought he’d changed. Grown up. But he’s got an inferiority complex that I can’t spend the rest of my life fixing. He’s going to have to figure out how to feel like a man without me patting his head.”

She sipped her drinking, wrapping her lips around the straw, and it made him think of other things— “What?” he asked, distracted when he heard his name, lifting his gaze from her mouth to her eyes which were sparkling, suggesting she knew exactly what he was thinking.

“I was saying thank you. That night—if I hadn’t gone to you, if I’d just gone to my grandmother’s, I might have changed my mind. I might have let Lucky explain himself and use the pills to blame everything.”

“I didn’t do anything—”  Jason stopped when she just lifted her brows. “If you hadn’t come to me that night, I would have finished the tequila bottle and put my fist through the wall,” he admitted. “But instead….”

“Instead…” She lifted the straw to her lips again and he had to look away this time. “I was thinking that it felt out of time and place. You know, like we were in this little bubble that existed outside everything in our real lives. No cell phones to interrupt, no one living across the hall anymore.” She sighed. “Just you and me. I wish it had always been like that.”

“Me, too.”

“Why wasn’t it?” Elizabeth looked at him now, some of that sparkle and light fading. “Why did we wait so long to get it right? Why does our timing suck so bad?” she asked, echoing his words from that night.

Jason considered his answer carefully, because he wanted to get it right. And he wanted to understand it, just like she did. Why, if they’d had all that inside of them, why couldn’t they have had it years ago when they’d both been free?

“I think maybe we didn’t trust each other,” Jason said finally, and she bit her lip. “I didn’t trust you to stay, and you didn’t trust that I cared about you. And we had our reasons. I answered my phone too much.”

“And I thought I needed words more than actions.” Her eyes were sad now, and he didn’t like that at all. “I thought that if you didn’t say it, you didn’t feel it. So I ran towards anyone who would tell me. And it was always a mistake.”

“I know you said…” Jason hesitated, knowing he was putting himself in a position to be hurt, but if he didn’t ask, the answer would always be no. “You said that night it was the only night we could spend together. Why?”

Her lips parted, and she gripped the fabric of her skirt tightly. “Because I wanted to say it before you did.”

His voice dropped. “Why did you think I’d say it?”

Their eyes met. “Because you always said it before. You kissed me at Vista Point and walked away. And you told me you wanted to try, and you left me alone. You always left first.”

“I wasn’t going to say it,” Jason told her, and she took a deep breath. “And I don’t want you to say it, either.”

“Jason.”

“It would always be like that. Us. You know that. I didn’t want you to go home. That night. That morning.”

“I didn’t want to go—” Her breath caught, tears clinging her lashes. “What are you saying, Jason?”

“I’m saying what I should have four years ago. We stood in our own way then. Are we going to make the same mistakes again?” Jason reached for her hand, laced their fingers together the way she’d done that night. “Or do you want to find out what happens next?”

“I want—” Her smile returned, tremulous and hopeful, and he knew his own mirrored it. “I want to get it right this time. Just you and me. The way it always should have been.”

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