December

“When was the last time we did this?” Lucky split the last brownie in half and dropped a piece on Elizabeth’s empty plate. Around them, Kelly’s was quite, partially in shadows. After closing, she and Lucky had cleaned up and then had dinner on their own.

“Oh, probably since before Thanksgiving,” Elizabeth said, her smile fading just a bit when she remembered their last dinner date had ended with the rushed trip to the airport and the humiliating fight in the courtyard. She cleared her throat. “But hey, my last final is this week, , so I’ll be all yours for a month.”

“Just like old times.” He flashed her that grin she’d fallen for first, then popped a piece of brownie in his mouth. “Are you tomorrow? I thought we could take a look at few places. I know you want to be on the bus route so you can get to campus—”

Elizabeth wrinkled her nose, sat back in her chair. “Lucky, we’ve talked about this—”

“No, I’ve talked about this, and you keep acting like we didn’t have a plan.” He pushed aside his plate, folded his arms, leaned forward. “When you didn’t get into New York, we sat down, remember?”

“I do—”

“And we looked at our savings — neither of us had pretty much anything. We were going to get housing from your school, and I’d pick up jobs, but we were always planning to live together eventually. You said you’d room with Emily for the first semester because her housing was already paid for. The old man just picked up a phone and pulled a few strings to get you in.”

“I remember all of this. And yeah, that was the plan in June. But I also remember telling you in August that I thought we were better off waiting until next summer to get a place. I’d be able to save up so much more, and you said you were going to pick up some courier jobs with Jason and Sonny.” She lifted her brows. “Did I imagine that conversation, Lucky? Because it sure feels like only one of us was listening.”

“Come on—you can’t really want to be on campus for six more months. That room is so small and you’re sharing a bathroom with half the floor. That’s better than living with me. I’m sorry I don’t rate—I just wish you’d told me you changed the plan.”

“I’m talking to myself obviously because I told you in August. Why can’t you just be okay with this?”

“I don’t know. Because we used to see each other practically every day,” Lucky said. “But now you’re off at college, and you’re never around. You’re always working or in class and you have time for parties—”

“I make time for you, Lucky—I just—” Elizabeth sighed. “Okay, maybe I didn’t make you a priority. I’m sorry. I just—I had so much fun the first few weeks. It was a lot of fun living with Emily, and I didn’t expect that. I think maybe—maybe I want to put off living together until…maybe after graduation—”

“After graduation—” Lucky scowled. “In four years?”

“Well, three and a half—”

“Don’t get technical. We had a plan, Elizabeth. It’s not fair you to just to change it without talking to me.”

“I’m talking to you right now but you’re not listening—”

“Are you nervous about us living together? Because you know…” Lucky reached across the table, took her hand. “You know, I’m okay with waiting however long you need. But if we live together, you might get more comfortable—”

“It’s not about that. It’s not. And I—” She chewed on her lip. “I’m working on that. I want us to be together. All the ways. And you’ve been really great about that. You know how much I appreciate you not pressuring me. But I’m telling you I’m not ready for us to live together and it’s like you can’t hear me.” Her throat was tight and she had to blink back tears. “We fight all the time now. I don’t know. I don’t know what I did to make you so mad.”

“I’m not mad. I just—” He stroked her hand with his thumb. “I miss you. We were basically attached at the hip for over a year. You know? Always together. We slept under docks together and you’ve spent the night at the garage with me a few times. You can trust me to keep waiting.”

“But you’re always so annoyed when I bring up anything about school. Or when I want to do something you don’t agree with — like, that whole thing with Juan—”

“Oh—” Lucky rolled his eyes. “Come on. You know I’m right about him—he’s no one, Elizabeth. He came to town looking for a hand out, and he picked up the richest girl in town. Emily’s naive when it comes to these kinds of things—”

“Emily’s been through so much in her life, Lucky. She’s happy with him. So what if he doesn’t have any money? It’s not like you and I are rich. I didn’t think you were a snob—”

“I’m not. I’m just looking out for Em. When Juan shows his true colors—”

“You’ll be right there to tell you I told you so. Just like the airport thing. It was fixed and no real harm was done, but you just had to make sure everyone knew you’d been against the whole thing. I mean, you were willing to abandon Emily at the airport—”

“I don’t want to get into that—”

“Why? Because you don’t want to talk about how mortifying it was with you berating me in front of Jason—who by the way, doesn’t like Juan either, but he doesn’t make it his whole personality.”

“Yeah, Jason’s great. He saved the day. So what? What does any of this have to do with getting a place or changing the plan so that it’s four years away instead of a few weeks?”

“Here’s a newsflash, Lucky, I get to change the plan when it’s about me. I’m the one who has to live there, too. And I don’t want to live together yet. I want to go to college. I want to stay up late with Emily and be silly. I want to have fun. It took so long for me to get back there, you know? To be light, and happy. To not have—” She closed her eyes. “To not be afraid all the time. I just want to be eighteen and stupid sometimes. I want to help my best friend be in love even if sometimes we do foolish things. And I want the guy who says he loves me to understand that just because I don’t want to live together, it doesn’t mean I don’t love him anymore.”

“I’m sorry if I take it a little personally that everything you want to do has nothing to do with me.” Lucky shoved his chair back. “Fine. Stay with Emily this summer. Whatever. Do what you want.”

He jerked his jacket from the hook by the door and had left the diner before she’d even processed the whole thing.

Shaken, Elizabeth rose and started to clean up. She’d unpack all of this later — and maybe when Lucky had time to cool down, he’d see that she was right.

—

Jason headed into the office, surprised to find Lucky already in there, on the computer just like always. He tossed the work orders on his desk. “Hey. Did I know you were working today?”

“No, I’m just trying to distract myself,” the younger man muttered. “Figured I’d get a head start on the paperwork from yesterday. I was supposed to be looking for apartments today, but that got cancelled.”

Jason heard the petulant tone in his voice and wondered if Lucky had finally started listening to his girlfriend. Jason barely knew Elizabeth, and even he knew Elizabeth and Emily were planning to keep rooming together.

“Hey, can I ask a question? You don’t have to answer, but —” Lucky swirled on the stool. “When you and Robin starting dating, she’d just been diagnosed, right?”

Surprised, Jason nodded. “A few months earlier, yeah. They didn’t get the medication—the protocol—until we were together. But yeah, why?”

“Sex was an issue, wasn’t it?”

Jason stared at him. “Excuse me?”

“I know, I know, it’s none of my business — I just—” He grimaced, looked back at the computer screen. “Emily said she’d told you about that photographer last year. What he did to Elizabeth.”

Jason tensed, the memory flooding back of Emily painfully telling Jason she wanted to be as brave as Elizabeth had been when confronted with her rapist. He hadn’t thought about it much after that — Tom Baker had made a deal, and Jason had made a promise to himself to handle the situation before the asshole would ever see the light of day again. “What does that have to do with Robin?”

“Elizabeth and I—we haven’t—she’s not—”

“Lucky, I really don’t think this is something she’d want you talking about with me,” Jason said, realizing too late where the kid was  going with all of this. “I’m not even sure Emily should have told me, either—”

“Yeah, well, Emily does a lot of things she shouldn’t,” Lucky muttered. “But I think that’s why Elizabeth doesn’t want to live together, and I just—I figured you had that problem with Robin—”

“I am not talking about this with you,” Jason said, heading for the door. He stopped at the threshold, feeling irritated with himself because he liked Elizabeth and the way this idiot was talking, he’d probably say something to put that look in her eye again. “Look, I won’t pretend to know what Elizabeth went through with that—”

“It was awful, but I’m not going to hurt her—”

“I don’t know what she went through. But I do know that she has repeatedly said to me and to anyone who listens that she’s happy rooming with Emily. Did she tell you it was about this…other thing or that she just wanted to be in the dorm?”

“She said it was the dorm—”

“Then do yourself a favor and listen to her. It’s not the end of the world. Robin was away at school a lot, and we were just fin.”

“You broke up with her, though—”

“This conversation is closed,” Jason said. “Listen when she talks Lucky. That’s the end of it.”

—

He put the conversation out of his mind entirely the moment he left the office because he absolutely did not want to be in the middle of Lucky’s romantic issues. He was staying out of everyone’s business, even if Lucky seemed determined to drag him through it.

A few days passed, and Jason forgot about it. Lucky didn’t bring it up again, and Jason was all too happy to send the kid out of town for a few days on a courier assignment, giving him the garage all to himself. He didn’t need to do the volume of business that required him to hire anyone else, and he liked the solitude of working by himself.

So when the door opened, and he heard footsteps, Jason sighed and slid out on the car roller, trying to find the patience to deal with another customer. He rose to his feet, reached for a rag to deal with his oil-stained hands and frowned when Elizabeth came around the corner.

She wore a white jacket, and her hair tucked up in a matching hat. In her hands she held a thick black leather portfolio, and she’d been crying. Jason knew enough about women to recognize the red-rimmed slightly swollen eyes.

“Is Lucky here? He didn’t answer his phone, but I thought—”

“He’s out of town until tomorrow,” Jason said, and she made a face, looked down at the portfolio in her hands. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No, he told me that he’d be around this weekend. He knew—” Her voice was wobbly. “He knew I was getting this back today, and I said I’d come by, but he must have forgotten.” Elizabeth sighed, then looked at him. “I’m sorry. I always seem to be bothering you when you’re working. Was it last minute or—no, I know. You can’t tell me.”

“He knew about it two days ago,” Jason said, and she flinched. “I’m sorry—”

“For what? It’s not your responsibility to tell me Lucky’s schedule or to listen when I talk so I don’t come all the way into town when there’s no reason—” Elizabeth took a deep breath. “Never mind. Never mind. Just forget it.”

“I can take you back to campus—”

“Aren’t you tired of offering to drive me somewhere every time Lucky disappoints me?” Elizabeth asked, looking back with a half smile. “I’m fine. The bus stop is just around the corner—and there’s one in like twenty minutes—”

“Then wait here where it’s warm until it gets here,” Jason said, heading to the sink. He’d use that time convince her, and maybe he’d look into talking to Emily about this. He didn’t like her on the bus all the time, especially when she was upset.

“Um, thanks, I guess. It’s pretty cold out.” Elizabeth set her purse and the portfolio on a nearby table. “Are you…excited for Christmas?”

“What’s to be excited about?” Jason asked, drying his arms off with a towel. “It’s just a day.” He saw her drop her eyes, and felt bad. “I mean, it’s good for other people. But it’ll just me and Sonny. You probably spend it with your family?”

“Yeah. With my grandmother. We used to come out for the holidays every Christmas when I was kid so we could listen to my grandfather read the story. Dad said it was one of his favorite memories of Gramps. I always thought it was weird because Dad didn’t even know Gramps was his father until he came to Port Charles, but it was also kind of nice, you know? That you could make your own family if you wanted to.” Elizabeth made a face. “Sorry — I tend to get going and just ramble. You don’t have to listen,” she added.

“I remember your grandfather a little,” Jason said. “He passed away not long after my accident, but he was one of the few doctors who didn’t…” He paused, squinted. “He didn’t look at me like I was a puzzle to figure out.”

“He really was the best. I miss him all the time this time of year. Anyway, Gram and I will decorate a tree next week, and Emily invited me over for a Christmas party at the Quartermaines, and Laura said I could come to their place. It’s nice to have options—” Elizabeth stopped. “Oh. I forgot. Um, about the Quartermaines. And—” She cleared her throat. “Anyway. I should go. The bus stop—”

“Still have ten minutes,” Jason said, and she sighed, looked at him. “You don’t have to worry. I know Michael’s at the house. I’m glad Emily will be there with him. She’s been the one constant for him.”

“Yeah, she told me she’s his godmother. I’m sorry. Is that why Christmas is so hard?” Her eyes widened. “Never mind. I didn’t ask that. Sorry. I’m always doing that.”

“Yes,” Jason said. “But every day is hard,” he added, and there was a little bit of a release inside when he admitted that. “Like I said, it’s just another day for me.”  He nodded at the portfolio, hoping to change the topic. “What’s that?”

“Oh.” She slid her hand over it. “My project for art class. I…” And her voice faltered. “I passed because I technically completed the requirements, but my professor didn’t like it.”

“Why not?”

Elizabeth jerked a shoulder. “She’s always telling me that I need to push harder and dig deeper, but I don’t know how to do that.” She flipped it open and showed him what was inside. There was a white background with swirls and colors that he couldn’t really make out. “I didn’t think it was that bad.”

“Uh—it’s nice.”

Her cheeks flushed. “Right. Right. That’s what she said.”

Damn it — “No—”

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I think maybe I just have to start facing the fact that I’m not supposed to be an artist. New York didn’t want me and Dr. Watts says I’m not doing enough but maybe that’s her way of saying I don’t have what it takes—” She flipped it shut and headed for the nearby metal trash can. Jason snatched it before she could drop it inside.

“No, wait. Let me explain,” he told her.

“There’s nothing—”

“My accident,” Jason interrupted, and she closed her mouth, frowning. “I can’t always see…things that are abstract. Or—I mean, photographs are okay. Because they’re realistic. But art? It doesn’t make sense to me. A processing thing.” His cheeks warmed, and he handed her back the portfolio. “You could be Van Gogh and I’d never know.”

She studied him for a moment, then nodded. “Oh, that’s fine. Well, it’s — it’s just Lucky playing a guitar.” Elizabeth flipped it open — pointed to a color  “That’s the guitar, and Lucky’s holding it. She said it was nice, technically correct. But—” She wrinkled her nose. “Soulless.”

“Ouch,” Jason said, and then she laughed.

“I guess she’s right. There’s nothing really in this.” Elizabeth studied it. “I drew it from memory. I wanted Lucky to pose for it but we couldn’t get our schedules together, so maybe that’s why it’s like that. She asked why I always did portraits and landscapes, and I told her I didn’t know what else I could do. And she just told me that I should paint me, something inside of me, and —” Elizabeth bit her lip. “I don’t know. There’s too much sometimes, and what if I tried, and she still hated it?”

“What do you have to lose?” Jason asked, and she looked at him, startled. “She doesn’t like what you’re doing now. You might as well try something new.”

“That—” Elizabeth smiled, and some of the sparkle came back in her eyes. “Makes complete sense. You’re right. She’s not impressed with me as it is, I doubt it could get worse. And maybe it won’t. If I never try, the answer is always no. Thank you.”

“Sure. And—” Jason reached for his jacket and keys. “We missed your bus, so now you have no choice but to let me give you a ride back to campus.”

“Fine,” Elizabeth said, but her smile twitched. “Did you do that on purpose so I wouldn’t take the bus? Distract me?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He steered her towards the door, grimacing when he saw through the window that snow had begun to fall, sticking to the streets. “Hold on, I have to grab the keys to the SUV. We can’t take my bike in this.”

“Oh—” Elizabeth looked over at his Harley, inside the garage for protection from the elements. “That’s a shame. I’ve never been on one before.”

“Maybe some other time since we’re making a habit of this,” Jason said, and she laughed, following him out the door.

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