Written in 63 minutes.

---

February 1999

When the girl behind the desk had told him that the dorm didn’t allow any male visitors after eight, Jason figured maybe they could talk about it in the lobby. There were seating areas, and well, it wasn’t that complicated. He’d tell her Lucky was absolutely lying about the dates and that he’d asked for the job to go out of town. Jason would apologize for not making it clearer the other night, and then he’d leave her to figure out the next step.

But while he waited for her to come downstairs, he wandered the area looking for some place where he could tell her this, thinking of how sad she’d been that night. She wouldn’t want people staring at her or maybe eavesdropping—not after Emily had talked about Elizabeth sitting in this lobby, all dressed up, waiting for the jackass to pick her up.

By the time Elizabeth stepped off the elevator, Jason had reluctantly concluded that they probably couldn’t have this conversation in here. Maybe there was a bench or somewhere nearby. She’d suggested someplace close off campus, and he knew Kelly’s wasn’t too far. That seemed safe. He’d handed her the helmet, reminded himself to go easy. She’d never been on a motorcycle before, she’d related to him as she fastened the strap beneath her chin.

He went the speed limit for the first few minutes, but then he went into a turn a bit faster than he should have and the bike leaned to the right just a little, and he heard her laugh, her hands tightening around his waist. He sped up a little bit, taking the next turn even faster, trying to see if it was just surprise or if—

But no, she was still laughing, and she quickly learned to lean into the turns—and for some reason, instead of taking the road that led to Elm Street and the waterfront, Jason took the other one, winding up through the hills around the lake, towards Vista Point. There were more turns and chances to pick up speed. January had been icy and snow — he hadn’t really been able to get up here in a while.

When he finally pulled the bike to a stop in the parking lot, switched off the engine, Elizabeth was still laughing. She stumbled off the bike, tugged off the helmet. “Oh my God! You’re absolutely crazy! That was so fast! Everything was blurring past and the wind was rushing past—the roar in my ears! You can’t even think straight—”

“That’s why I like it,” Jason said. He parked the bike, setting the stand down. “So I didn’t go too fast?”

“No, no! I mean, well, yes, but not in a bad way—I didn’t even know it would be like that—every single turn, it was like the road got closer and closer but I never thought we’d fall, like I could always tell you were in complete control—” the words tumbled from her almost in a rush, falling over each other, and her eyes were bright and sparkling. The way they’d been that day in the airport and last week at Kelly’s when talking about her art project.

It was a relief to see it, but he also knew he might be the reason all of that faded, and he nearly changed his mind. But he’d promised his sister—and Elizabeth deserved the truth.

“I went a little further and faster than I would have normally,” Jason said. “I was going to Kelly’s, but well, it’s been a while since I’ve been up here, or had someone on the bike that might appreciate the ride. It helps when things aren’t…good.”

She bit her lip, then handed him the helmet. “You said you had to talk to me about something. I’m guessing it’s Lucky?”

“Yeah.” He stowed the helmet back on the bike, gestured towards the observation deck where there were benches. “Let’s, uh, go sit. If you’re not too cold.”

“No, I’m fine.” She followed him over to a wooden bench on the second level of the deck, and they sat down. “Did he tell you it was a mistake? He tried to call, but my cell phone is awful. I knew that—”

“I don’t know if he tried to call you,” Jason interrupted. “Maybe that part is true, but Elizabeth—he knew the dates on Friday. I confirmed them with him.”

She stared at him for a long moment, then shook her head. “No, no, because he said—”

“I should have made it clearer on Tuesday, I’m sorry. But I’ve been trying to stay out of this. It’s none of my business,” Jason continued, and she sighed, looked at her hands. She wasn’t wearing any gloves, he realized. “But at some point, staying out if it is the wrong thing to do. Especially when Lucky’s using me to hurt you.”

“How—”

“He asked for the job. To go out of town. He asked for it that day I saw you at Kelly’s. He wanted to get out of town for a few days. Then I told him about the run, and confirmed it on that Friday. I told him it would be until the sixteenth. I didn’t think about—I didn’t think about the holiday. I don’t think about that kind of thing anymore,” he added.  “He knew that morning when he talked to you. Maybe he tried to call you later — only he knows that for sure. ”

She closed her eyes, the dark lashes stark against her pale skin. “He knew.”

“Yes. He was angry that day that you’d talked to me about your project. I don’t know why—” He was skirting the edge there. He did know that Lucky had seemed jealous, that he’d made some remarks in that direction. But Elizabeth didn’t need to know that in addition to everything else Lucky didn’t seem to trust her either.

“You know…” She opened her eyes, looked at him. “I knew that. That he was lying about the message. He never calls that cell phone.”

Jason squinted. “But Emily said—”

“I wanted to believe him. I needed to believe him. And if you tell the lie enough, even to yourself, you can make it the truth.” Her voice shook slightly on the last words. “But he did it on purpose. ”

“Yes.”

“Why? W-What did I do to make him want to hurt me like that?”

“Nothing—”

“I had to have done something—” A tear slid down her cheek and she brushed at it impatiently. “You said he was mad I talked to you about my project? I don’t understand. It’s—you were just being nice to me. Why does he care about any of that?”

“Elizabeth—”

“I just don’t get it. It can’t be that. I must have done something else—”

“You didn’t do anything,” Jason said, almost too harshly, and she looked at him, startled. “You can’t make someone hurt you, Elizabeth.”

“But I hurt him in some way, and if I can just figure it out, I can fix it so I never do it again, and it’ll all go back to the way it used to be—” She shot up from the bench, paced to the end of the deck, looked out over the blackness of the lake. “I’ll just think about what I did, and —”

“Why are you taking this on?” Jason followed her, frustrated that she wasn’t reacting the way he expected. Why wasn’t she furious that Lucky had done this to her? The little bastard had set her up to be humiliated and was lying about it— “Why are you making this your fault? Do you hear yourself?”

Her lower lip quivered, and she squeezed her eyes shut. Now he felt like the jackass, and he was reminded why he stayed out of things. None of this was his business. He was just going to tell her what he knew and step out to let her handle it.

But now he realized the little bastard was going to get away with it, and he’d learn nothing from the whole thing. He’d just do worse the next time, and Jason didn’t think he could stand to watch Lucky hurt her one more time. Not when she always seemed to end up at the garage, looking at him with those eyes, trying to understand why it was happening at all.

“I—it has to be my fault,” she managed finally. She folded her arms, almost protectively around her torso. “Because if it’s my fault I can fix it. If it’s his…then I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

He bit back the obvious answer of dumping the asshole and finding someone who wouldn’t make her cry, because she wasn’t ready to hear that. “Why do you have to do anything except confront him and make him tell you the truth?”

“I need it to be a mistake,” she said softly. “Because you can forgive a mistake, you know? But…how do you forgive something like this?”

“You don’t—”

“But he loves me.” Her voice was small now, almost lost on the bitter air swirling around them. “He’s the only person who ever has.”

“That’s not true—” He couldn’t believe that. Wouldn’t.

“No, no—” She put up her hands. “Okay, you just don’t understand, okay?” She spoke fast now, like before, only it wasn’t excitement making her words fall into each other, but desperation. “Okay, you don’t know what it’s like to walk through your whole life knowing you’re just being tolerated. That people love you despite your flaws, to constantly know you’re a burden and an obligation. My mother didn’t want me — I was an accident, and she had to give up this fellowship—I was never worth it to her, I could tell. I just confused my father, Steven and Sarah were always embarrassed by me, and my grandmother had to put up with me because I showed up on her front step. Lucky’s different. He didn’t have to love me, but he did, and I don’t know if anyone else ever will. So you don’t understand what that feels like, okay? Don’t stand there and judge me because I can’t—” She broke off, pressed her hands against her mouth and started to walk away, maybe back towards the parking lot.

“Maybe I don’t know what that feels like,” Jason said, “but I know what it feels like when people who are supposed to love you look at you like you’re damaged. Stupid.”

She stopped at the steps to the upper deck, turned around to look at him. “What?”

“The Quartermaines. After the accident. They were always looking at me to be someone else. Who I was, who I wanted to be was never good enough for them. They tried to control me, force me into making the choices they wanted, and when they realized I was never going to fit the mold they’d made for me, they gave up. So maybe that’s not the same thing, but it’s not that different.”

Elizabeth took a step back towards him. “No, I guess it’s not.”

“It’s—it’s better now,” Jason said, almost not sure why he was telling her any of this. But he did understand a little bit about expectations and obligations, and not fitting in with the people who were supposed to be your family. “Emily and my grandmother. Monica. Sometimes Alan. I didn’t understand them back then. They weren’t my family, and I didn’t love them. But it made me angry and everything after the accident was harder than it has to be. I could have tried to fit what they wanted me to be. But I left. I had to figure it out for myself. I learned what love was from Robin and Sonny. Emily and Lila. They taught me what it was to be a family, to love someone else. And Michael—”

His voice was a bit rough now, and he wanted to stop, but something had opened up inside of him, and he didn’t know to stop it. “I know what it’s like now to love someone more than I loved myself. To destroy your world to keep them. I did that. I hurt Robin so I could keep Michael, and now I don’t have either of them. So, yeah, maybe I do understand why you need Lucky to just be making a mistake. Because if he’s choosing to hurt you, how can he love you? And who are you if he doesn’t love you anymore?”

—

They stood there for what felt like an eternity, Jason’s words lingering between them. Elizabeth didn’t even realize how little he’d always talked before — he’d never really spoken about himself. It had always been her dumping on him, she realized. And now — maybe he did understand in his own way why all of this was so hard.

“A few months ago,” Elizabeth said softly, “it all felt perfect, you know? We had to change our plans and stay in Port Charles, but I thought we agreed. I thought we were a team. But now it’s like he’s a different person. Or maybe I am. Maybe I’m the one that changed. He said that since I started college, I don’t make time for him, for us—”

“And that’s just more bullshit he’s feeding you,” Jason bit out, and she realized now he was really pissed off.  “Because Robin went further away to college. There were weeks and months I didn’t see her, but I never gave her any shit for that. For not being able to talk to her every day. She’s going to be a doctor, and I wanted that for her. When you love someone, you support what makes them happy. Especially when it doesn’t cost you anything to just be happy for them. Being away from her wasn’t fun, but it made being together even better. That’s what love is. Showing up for each other when you can and understanding when you can’t. So what if you got a little preoccupied with your classes and having fun at school. You were happy. I don’t even know you, and I could see that. Why couldn’t he?”

Elizabeth smiled faintly, looked away. “You don’t even know me, and you’re standing in the freezing cold arguing with me because my boyfriend’s an idiot—”

“Not an idiot. Idiots can’t control how stupid they are. Lucky’s an asshole. There’s a difference.”

She laughed at that, then pressed her hands against her mouth again, startled by it. Her tears were freezing against her skin. “Okay, well, I stand corrected. You’re arguing with me because my boyfriend’s an asshole. My point still stands.”

“What was your point?”

“I don’t know. I think I lost it somewhere. What am I supposed to do, Jason? You’re angry and I don’t know why—”

“I’m angry—” He shook his head. “It’s not your problem that I’m angry.”

“But you are, and if I caused it—”

“There you go again,” Jason said, stalking past her towards the steps. “Blaming yourself for how someone else feels. I’m mad because I knew Lucky was treating you like garbage months ago, and I said nothing to you. I knew he’d asked for that job, and I didn’t tell you that. I don’t know what telling would have solved, but maybe I’d feel less…responsible for any of it. And I’m mad I didn’t knock his teeth down his throat for the way he talks about you when you’re not around.”

“How—” She cleared her throat, tried to force the words out because the pain of that statement stole her breath. “How does he talk about me when I’m not there?”

“I—” He grimaced, shook his head. “Not like I’d ever talk about someone I loved. I shouldn’t have said anything—”

“We’re friends, aren’t we? Friends stand in the freezing cold, mad because their friend is being stubborn,” Elizabeth said. “I mean, unless you’re really mad that you’re involved and you resent being here. Because if that’s how you feel, fine. You can just drop it and take me home. Because I’m starting to get really pissed off, too. You’re acting like I asked for any of this, okay? I didn’t ask you to hire Lucky, or for him to constantly screw with me so I end up at your garage, and I always try to leave, but you’re the one who makes me stay to miss the bus—so if you don’t want to be my friend, then fine. But—” She broke off when she realized he was smiling. “What? What are you smiling about?”

“So you can get angry. I was wondering.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t act like you planned that. Because you’re annoying, but you’re not calculating.”

He lifted his brows. “I’m annoying?” he repeated. “How do you figure?”

“Because—you just—” Elizabeth threw up her hands. “I don’t know. You act like you’ve got it all together, and then you tell me all that stuff, and I was listening, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to say because you’re right about all of it. Loving someone to the point that you destroy who you are to make them happy or to keep them is stupid, and I just—I don’t want that to be me. I don’t want to be one of those dumb girls who give up everything for their boyfriend, but I think that’s who I’m starting to be. And you’re annoying because you didn’t just drop the whole thing in the beginning so I had to think about all of it.”

“Oh. Well, that explains it,” Jason said, but the corner his mouth was curved up in a half-smile, suggesting it hadn’t explained anything. “Look—I’m sorry. I really didn’t plan to make you mad. It just happened. It’s just—you were talking about how you needed to fix things. And—you know, you shouldn’t have to work harder to earn someone’s respect when they’re already not treating you the way you deserve. You know that, don’t you?”

“I know you’re right. I know it. I just don’t know what to do with any of it. It’s too big, it’s too awful,” she admitted. “It’s too much.” She looked back at him, smiled. “I appreciate you breaking your I don’t get involved rule, even though I know this is the last thing you wanted to do on a Sunday.”

Jason shrugged. “It’s fine. I haven’t been out here in a while or had anyone on the bike who seemed to like going fast.”

“Well, I did like those,” she confessed. “Can…is that as fast as you can go, or—” When his mouth curved into a full smile, her stomach fluttered.

“Only one way to find out.”

—

Jason coasted the bike to a stop in front of her dorm, and Elizabeth almost tumbled off the bike, stumbling. She was laughing again, trying to get the helmet unfastened, but her fingers were shaking. He  brushed them aside, undid the snap and pulled off the helmet.

“I think I’m actually dizzy,” Elizabeth said, the words breathy, punctuated with the giggles. She combed her fingers through her wild hair. “That was insane — how do you not get pulled over for speeding or-or reckless driving?”

“I’m faster than the cops,” Jason said, folding his arms. “So was  that as fast as you wanted it to be?”

“Don’t tell me you can go—” Her eyes were wide, and she bit her lips. “No, I’m not asking. I’m not. Because I really do have a test tomorrow, but that was the best time I’ve had in…forever.” She grinned at him. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” Jason said. He leaned against the bike. “I mean that.”

“Good night.” Elizabeth headed for her door, then turned back when she was half inside the door, waved and smiled at him one more time, and went inside.

← Flash Fiction: Warning Shots – Part 5 | Flash Fiction: Warning Shots – Part 7 →