Written in 59 minutes. Supposed to be two more scenes, lol, but the first scene ended up being 3x as long as I meant it to. Anyway — oh, and I had written February 1999 for the last two parts but it’s set in February 2000.

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February 2000

Elizabeth let the front door of the dorm swing shut as she stepped into the lobby, still smiling and a little giddy from just how fast they’d been going—she turned and stopped short when she saw a familiar figure rising to his feet from a chair next to the lobby desk. Behind the desk, Molly made eye contact and just shrugged.

Lucky strode forward, a bouquet of white roses in his arms, his eyes burning with fury — she’d never seen that from him, not directed at her, and Elizabeth found herself taking a step back. “Lucky? What are you doing here?”

“I think I should be the one to ask the questions,” he bit out. He passed a garbage can and dumped the roses inside. She flinched. “Where the hell were you? Where did he take you?”

“I—” Elizabeth looked over her shoulder, then looked back at Lucky. “How did you—”

“Your friend behind the desk was helpful enough to describe the man she saw you leave with,” Lucky retorted, and Elizabeth sent Molly a dirty glance. The other woman pretended to be looking at the ceiling.

“I’m not talking about this here,” Elizabeth said in a low, tight voice, the temporary euphoria from the ride entirely gone. She spun around and stalked towards the door she’d just entered through.

Lucky followed her to a circle of stone benches near the dorm entrance. “I can’t believe you’re acting like you didn’t do anything wrong,” he began, when she turned back to face him. “You don’t get to be mad at me, okay? You’re the one riding off with Jason Morgan—just exactly what did you do with him the other night?”

Elizabeth lifted her brows. “I’m sorry, what are you excusing me of right now? You think Jason—you think Jason Morgan and I are engaged in some torrid little affair? Do you hear yourself?”

“Don’t act like he hasn’t been circling like a goddamn vulture for months, ready to pounce. You come in acting all happy with that stupid smile on your face, and what am I supposed to think?”

“That we love each other, that you trust me—that I would never cheat on you. And my God, Lucky, Jason is—Jason isn’t that kind of guy either—”

“Tell that to Robin. Or AJ. He’s been screwing Carly for years, but I guess he must be bored—”

“Stop it! Stop it! He’s your friend, he gave you a job, a place to live!”

“Is that why you don’t want to sleep with me?” Lucky demanded. “Because you’re getting it from someone else?”

Elizabeth put up her hands, her fingers trembling, and took a step back. “W-What did you just say to me?”

“What do you expect me to think? You won’t move in with me, you don’t spend the night at my place anymore, so I don’t even get to touch you, and then I see you with him all snuggled up on his bike—what, did you think you should get someone with a little experience to make sure you liked it this time?”

As soon as the words left his mouth, even Lucky knew he’d crossed a line because his face went stark white. “That’s not what I meant—”

Her knees buckled, and Elizabeth stumbled backwards until she felt the stone bench and sat. “Did you just—did you just—” She leaned over, pressed a fist to her middle, squeezing her eyes shut. She couldn’t breath. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t do this.

“Just listen, okay? I was mad, and I didn’t think, I’m sorry—I’m sorry—”

“To make sure I liked it this time,” Elizabeth echoed, her voice barely audible even to her own ears. She lifted her eyes to his panicked expression. “Because that was the problem, right? Last time,” she repeated, and now there was some heat in those final words. “Last time, I didn’t like it. So I wanted to find someone who has a reputation, right? That’s what you’re thinking.”

“No, it’s—”

“Damn, Lucky, you caught me. I wanted to make sure it was good this time, so I called Jason, Emily’s older brother, and your employer and landlord, and asked him to come on over and show me how it’s done because last time I got it wrong. Yeah, that’s exactly where I was tonight. Do you want to know how I did it?” she stepped towards him, her hands curled so tightly into fists her nails were digging into her palm. “Where? Or are you worried maybe you won’t measure up?”

Lucky swallowed hard, his Adam’s Apple bobbing as he just stared at her. “You’re taking this all wrong. All I meant—”

“All you meant was you think that what I went through means so little to me, what you and I have is worthless, so as soon as I got mad at you, I decided I was ready after two years of not wanting anyone to touch me, but sure, Lucky, you lie to me, stand me up, humiliate me on Valentine’s Day of all days, and I figure—this is exactly the right time.”

“I realize now,” he said carefully, “that I was just jealous—”

“Jealous of Jason. Who’s done nothing but be kind to you. He gave you a job when we were living under the docks. He gave you a place to live. And, yeah, okay, he’s been nice to me. We’re sort of friends. But you can’t picture that, you can’t conceive that I might just be friends with someone—”

“You looked at at him,” Lucky ground out harshly, and she blinked. “You were looking at him last week, and you were smiling. You think I don’t know what you look like when you’re into someone?”

“At Kelly’s? Over my art project? Are you insane? Are you high? This is—” She pressed her hands to her face. “I can’t believe I’m standing here, listening to you accuse me of cheating on you with Jason. This is—this is a joke, isn’t it? It has to be a joke. Because I smiled at him? I’ve smiled at Nikolas. At Juan—”

“Not like that. Not like you do at me—”

“Well after Jason rocked my world up at Vista Point,” Elizabeth bit out, “he told me that you were lying about Valentine’s Day. About mixing up the dates. That’s why he came to see me. Because he felt bad he didn’t tell me that night. But hey, don’t worry, he warmed me up real good, and I liked it this time.”

“You don’t have to keep talking like that,” Lucky said stiffly. “I said I was sorry—”

“Oh, well, you’re sorry, I guess that fixes everything. You know—” she closed her eyes. “He told me and I wasn’t even surprised. Because I knew it. I knew it. And I was going to let it go because I needed you to love me. I didn’t think I’d survive losing you.”

“Elizabeth—”

“But you don’t love me.  You can’t, you just can’t and say these things to me.” She opened her eyes, tears clinging to her lashes. “What I went through, what you know I went through—I could barely let my own grandmother touch me. Accept hugs from my sister. I couldn’t stand for people to look at me. To see me. And the thought of anyone being near me that way, touching me, being inside me—” She pressed a fist to her mouth, her voice breaking. “You know, Lucky. Better than anyone. You were there for my nightmares. For my tears, after every therapy session. I trusted you.”

“You can still trust me—” His voice was soft and he forward, but she slapped his hands away.

“No, no! Because you’re going to act like you did then, and you’re going to say you understand and you’re sorry, and you think I’ll believe you, but you said it! You said it, okay? And you think I threw away everything you and I built, all the trust that I had in you by thinking I’d just sleep with someone I barely know.”

There were tears in his eyes now. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me. I was just angry, and I wasn’t thinking—”

“I don’t say things like that when I’m angry. I don’t bring up the worst of your fears, your darkest moments—I don’t bring any of that up to hurt you. But that’s all you want to do, isn’t it? You just wanted to hurt me. You wanted me to feel dirty. Just like I did that night. You wanted me to remember. Why? Why did you need to do that to me? Because I was happy? Because I smiled at someone who was nice to me?”

“I know how it sounds, but—”

“You left Kelly’s and you asked Jason for a job out of town. You knew, Lucky. Don’t lie to me. You did it on purpose. You wanted to ruin that night for me. To hurt me. Don’t you see how bad that is? That day—it’s never going to be a good one for me. Because now I’m always going to remember it not just because of Tom Baker, but because of you. Why? Why didn’t you pick any other night to do this to me? Why that night? Why, damn it, I deserve to know!”

“Because—” Lucky looked away, swallowed hard. “Because I wanted you to remember last year, and what I gave you. What I could keep giving you if you just looked at me, if you put me first once in a while. That’s all—”

“What you gave me last year—” Elizabeth just stared. “What is it that you think you gave me, Lucky?”

“I—I promised to love you. That’s what we gave each other—”

“No, you wanted me to remember what you gave me. That’s what you said. Are you—” She narrowed her eyes. “Do you think that you gave me my life back? Is that what you think we did last year? What you’ve been doing for the last two years?”

“You—you said it. That I saved you—a-nd I did that. You told me that all that time—”

“I saved me,” Elizabeth said softly. “I crawled out those bushes, Lucky. I crawled to your voice, yes. But I crawled, me! I’m the one that got out of bed every day and fought back. I did those things, Lucky. You held my hand, you supported me when it was bad, when I didn’t think I could breathe. Yes, those things helped. And yes, maybe I couldn’t have pieced it back together as well without you. But I did those things, Lucky. And you don’t get to stand there and act like being a good person gives you the right to break me down when you’re angry. I smiled at Jason because he’s kind and he listened to me vent because you weren’t there. I smiled at him, and you decided that meant you had to punish me.”

Lucky dragged a hand across his mouth. “Maybe we should—we should just talk about this tomorrow. We’re both upset, and—”

“We don’t need to ever talk again, Lucky. You’ve said everything I needed to hear today. You’ve been angry with me for months, I can see that now. Picking me apart every time I didn’t do something you wanted me to do, and I just let it go, because it’s you, and I love you. I might have kept doing that, Lucky, but you went too far. Because I had the audacity to smile at another man, you punished me by destroying a night that I had just barely begun to reclaim. Thank you. For doing that. For making me see that you don’t love me. You love the broken shadow I spent months trying to fix.”

“You’re not even trying to understand where I’m coming from. Why can’t you even listen to me—”

“Because I don’t have to anymore. You said enough. You think I belong to you. That my smiles and my time and my energy and my body and my love and my soul and everything I worked so hard to give back to myself, and you think they belong to you. I will smile at Jason and any other man I want to. And one day, one day, I hope I meet someone that I love, that loves me, and that I will be able to trust them with my body. Because, despite what you think about me, I’m not sleeping with Jason. And I’m never, in this lifetime, ever going to let you touch me again. I belong to me.”

She lifted her chin. “So go home, and don’t ever come near me again. We are done.”

Lucky exhaled slowly, nodded. “Fine. Fine. I’ll go home, and I’ll wait until you calm down and we can talk about this. In a few days—in a few days, you’ll realize that this is all just a giant misunderstanding. I—I was angry. And I said things I didn’t mean. I was afraid I was losing you, but we’ll—we’ll talk about it later, okay?”

He didn’t wait for her to respond, only turned his back and walked away. Elizabeth sat back on the bench, watched as his figure disappeared around the corner, then wept bitterly, stifling her sobs with her hands.

—

Jason listened for the sound of a car pulling up outside, then left the office where he’d been waiting for Lucky to come back. He didn’t want to put this off another day, not after tonight.

Lucky trudged in through the door, blinking slightly when he looked up, saw Jason by the door. His expression twisted into a grimace. “What? You went to Elizabeth to screw me over, and now you’re here to yell at me some more?”

“I’m not here to yell at you. I’m giving you thirty days notice as required by law. Find somewhere else to live,” Jason said, leaning his shoulder against the door jamb. “And look for another job. I don’t want you here, and Sonny can’t use either.”

“You can’t—over this?” Lucky demanded. “Because of my girlfriend?”

“Because you’re a liar who has disrespected me more than once. I don’t trust you—”

“You think I trust you? You’ve been sniffing around my girlfriend for months. Maybe she’s too stupid to see it, but I know it—”

“I’m not having this argument, Lucky. You’ve got your eviction notice. It’s in writing, too.” He tossed an envelope at Lucky’s fight. “That’s it—”

“If you’re not after Elizabeth, then why did you even get involved? I saw you with her tonight,” Lucky cut in, his cheeks flushed. “I saw her on your bike, I saw you look at her, and she looked at you—”

Jason straightened. “You were at the dorms tonight? When?”

“Why? Worried I saw something I shouldn’t have?” he sneered.

“Worried you hurt or upset her more than you already have, you little shit.”

“Don’t worry about her. She can take care of herself. And she’ll have to, because if she thinks I’m going to crawl back to her now—”

Jason grabbed Lucky’s arm as he passed by, jerked him back. “What did you did do to her tonight? Did you make it worse?”

Lucky muttered something under his breath, jerked himself out of Jason’s grasp. “Oh, but you’re not after her, are you? When did you start to care so much?”

“I don’t know, Lucky, when did you stop?”

Lucky just rolled his eyes and headed for the back stairs. “Good luck with that bitch. You’ll need it.”

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