Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Crimson Manor: Johnny’s Study

Johnny sat in the dark, only the moon shifting through the windows behind the desk. It was past nine and he had just finished speaking with his sister. When Scott Baldwin had filed charges for Sonny’s murder, Claudia had made noises about returning. Johnny had just finished convincing her to stay put. The police were still investigating Michael’s death and he knew Claudia was at the top of their lists.

It was better that Claudia remained in Milan, but it meant that Johnny faced this alone. Luke Spencer had kept Lulu out of town and Trevor had been one of the first casualties of the mob war. Johnny never thought he’d actually miss his father. Anthony Zacchara probably would know how to deal with this situation.

The door to the study creaked open and Ric Lansing stepped in. “I have good news for you.”

Johnny raised an eyebrow and leaned over to flick on the desk lamp, illuminating his half of the room. “Scott Baldwin mysteriously dropped dead?”

“No, but that would be good news,” Ric agreed. “I found a witness even Scott can’t argue with.” He opened the second door to the study to reveal an extremely nervous blonde. Her face was hidden in the shadows, so Johnny reached behind the desk to flick on another light. “I know you.”  He frowned. “Didn’t my father attempt to kill you?”

Nadine Crowell bit her lip and some of the anxiety smoothed from her face. “Can’t nearly everyone in Port Charles say that?”

“Nadine was one of Michael’s nurses,” Ric told him.

“I was on the crash team,” Nadine added, her tone muted. “After…” she hesitated.  “After Dr. Drake called it, I was unhooking machines and finishing paperwork and I heard Sonny tell Jason he was going to take care of…” She gestured towards Johnny. “Well…you.”

Johnny’s eyebrows shot up, but he looked at Ric first. “Is that admissible?”

“He said it while they were still in Michael’s room.” Ric replied. “Nadine was unhooking equipment. There was another nurse, but–”

“Leyla’s a good person, but your family scares the crap out her,” Nadine interrupted. “She’s the girl from the ball–”

“–that my father shot,” Johnny finished. “He tried to kill you, too.”

“I was able to get away,” Nadine replied. She hesitated. “And I feel like this is partially my fault. If Leyla or I had reported the threat, or called Mac, maybe we could have stopped it and you wouldn’t be in this position–”

“I appreciate that,” Johnny cut in, “but you know, I doubt anything either of you could have done,”  He turned his attention to Ric. “Do you think it could work?”

“It’d be better if we had two nurses,” Ric admitted, “but her testimony corroborates our claim of self-defense.”

“Well, then I guess we’ll have to see how it goes.” Johnny looked at Nadine. “Thank you. You may have just saved my life.”

At that, Nadine smiled. “Happy to help.”

Saturday, July 27, 2024

General Hospital: Emergency Ward

Jake paced nervously from one end of the check-in desk to the other. When Leyla wasn’t watching the door for Nadine’s arrival, she kept her eye on the Morgan boy.

He’d been here for ten minutes, looking as though someone might have to restrain him from charging into the back room at any moment.

Leyla wished Nadine would get here, but she’d been in surgery when Amalia had been brought in, and it would probably be another half hour until the head surgical nurse would allow anyone to interrupt the procedure.

The nurturing mother in her couldn’t take it anymore. “Jake,” she murmured, emerging from behind the counter. “Let me tend to your arm.”

Jake looked at her for a moment, bewildered, before dragging his gaze down to his arm, wrapped in a towel. “I cut it,” he said in a daze. “I had to get in the window.”

“I know,” Leyla replied. She gently steered him to the adjoining curtained area and pushed him to sit on the bed.

“Her dad is probably going to kill me for being up at her window,” Jake remarked.

Leyla smiled faintly. “I’m sure he’ll be relieved you were there.”

“Doesn’t matter if he tries,” Jake went on as if she hadn’t spoken. ‘This is his fault.”

“Oh?” Leyla began to pick out the tiny slivers of glass still embedded in his forearm.

“And her mother’s,” Jake continued. “Making her feel like dirt, using her like a pawn.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t meant to be that way,” Leyla replied, not entirely feeling confident. She’d been Nadine’s best friend for the better part of the last decade and a half. She had watched Nadine’s marriage crumble and observed the ensuing custody struggle. During her own divorce, Leyla had begged Pete to keep their boys from that sort of future. Not that it had been much of threat. Pete was more than content with child support and occasional visits with PJ and Ryan. He’d been as relieved to get out of the marriage as she had.

Leyla remained silent, because she really wasn’t sure how to comfort him. She finished cleaning and bandaging his arm.

“Where’s my daughter?”

At Nadine’s shrill cry, both nurse and patient looked up to find Amalia’s mother just inside the emergency room doors.

Jake slowly got to his feet and sent Nadine a hostile glare. “They’re still pumping her stomach.”

Nadine’s face drained of color.   “What?” Her eyes focused on his bandaged arm “Did you get in an accident? What happened?”

He lifted his arm. “I busted through her bedroom window. She was passed out on the bed.” Jake dug an envelope from his back pocket and slapped it against her chest. “She left this for you.”

He stalked out of the area and headed for the waiting room. Nadine stared after him for a moment before looking back at Leyla. “I don’t understand.”

“Amalia took quite a bit of Valium,” Leyla murmured. “They’re pumping her stomach.”

“Where’s Amalia?” Johnny strode through the emergency doors. “Nadine?”

She didn’t immediately answer, still processing Leyla’s news. Johnny stalked across the room and grabbed her elbow. “Nadine? What happened?”

“What happened?”

All three adults turned to find Juliet standing just inside the emergency doors.  Her eyes were swollen from tears and her face was red. Behind her, she was flanked by Cameron and Molly. Jake’s only call had been to his little sister about her best friend.

“You happened,” Juliet continued. She ate up the distance between herself and Amalia’s parents with long, angry strides, and then surprised everyone by jabbing her finger at Johnny Zacchara. “You and her mother dragged her in and out of court, made her miserable. You made her feel worthless. This is all your fault!” Juliet switched her furious gaze to Nadine. “I hope you’re happy.”

She left them then and joined her brother in the waiting area. With uncomfortable glances at one another, Cameron and Molly followed.

“What the hell is going on?” Johnny demanded.

Rafina, Greece

Elizabeth’s Apartment

Jason slid his cell phone into his pocket and looked to Elizabeth. “I have to go home.”

She rose from the couch, her face pale. “It was one of the kids.” It was not a question, but a statement. In the few days since their reunion, memories of Jason, her kids and the life back in Port Charles had not necessarily come tumbling back, but Elizabeth had remembered enough to know that the only thing that could tear Jason away at this moment was either the kids or something dire happening to Carly’s family.

“Not exactly.” Jason hesitated. “Juliet’s best friend, Amalia–”

“Nadine’s daughter,” Elizabeth said slowly. “We worked together in the hospital. Amalia was born just before Juliet.” She paused. “Is she sick?”

“Jake found her after she’d swallowed a bottle of pills,” Jason answered. “Cameron called to let me know. She’s not just Juliet’s best friend.” He hesitated. “If Amalia wasn’t fourteen–”

“She’s special to Jake, too,” Elizabeth nodded. “So you need to be there with him, and with Juliet.”

“Yes,” he said. He scratched at the back of his neck. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone. Cameron wasn’t sure if Amalia was going to be okay or not and if she’s not–if she’s unconscious or if…” Jason shook his head. “I don’t know what the situation is–”

“Then I’ll go with you,” Elizabeth interrupted. She shoved her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. “I’m not ready to go to Port Charles. There’s still so much missing and I know I don’t have enough pieces to go back to that life. But I’m afraid that if you leave me here, I might talk myself out of ever going back.”

Jason frowned. “I thought we agreed–”

“I want to go there,” Elizabeth interjected. “I can already feel Maia falling away and pieces of Elizabeth coming back. It’s like my memory was always there waiting, I just needed something to trigger it. It’s not back all the way, but I know the facts.” She paused. “I know that we were married. That I have three children. I know that I was a nurse, that I had a friend named Nadine who had a daughter. I know that your best friend is Carly and that next to your kids, she’s the most important person in your life. I know these facts, Jason. I know them like I know my name is Elizabeth.”

“Then why wouldn’t you want to come back and remember the rest of it?” Jason stepped towards her, but stopped. He was afraid if he got too close, he might be tempted to just grab her, put her on a plane, and take her to Port Charles whether she wanted to go or not. So he kept his distance. It had to be her decision.

“What if I go back and I look at my children…” Elizabeth bit her lip. “I know who they are because I’ve seen the pictures, but what if there’s no connection? What if I can’t be their mother because I don’t remember them?” A tear slid down her cheek. “What if I never remember what it was like to be a single mother with Cameron, or being pregnant with Jake or painting Juliet’s room? You told me that all Juliet has ever wanted was to know who I am, and what I was like. What if I can’t be her mother?”

“Elizabeth…” Jason hesitated again, wanting to choose the right words. “I know what it’s like to look at someone who wants you to be someone you can’t. I told you about my accident and my memory problems, but this is different. You’ve already remembered so much without even seeing them.” He smiled slightly. “I never told you that you were a single mother with Cameron or that you painted Juliet’s room.”

She blinked and looked at him with confusion until she realized what she’d said. He was right. She’d just started to talk and it had come pouring out.  “I was divorced when Cameron was born,” Elizabeth said slowly. “But he wasn’t the father.”

“The year before Cameron was born was very…weird,” Jason said, not interested in going through the panic room debacle and her still mystifying choice to remarry Ric. “His father was someone you were close friends with — Zander Smith. He made some choices that were not good and died before Cameron was born.”

“That’s when I became a nurse,” Elizabeth nodded. “Because I needed health insurance and something stable.” She blinked again. “You’re right.” A small slide slid across her face. “I remember more all the time. It only makes sense that when I go to Port Charles and I see the kids, where I used to work and the people I used to know…that it will all come back to me.” She took a deep breath. “Which is why I need to go with you now, before I lose my courage. You need to go back home because Jake and Juliet need you, and I need to find out if I can go back and live my life again.”

General Hospital: Hospital Lounge

Eventually word came that Amalia was being moved to her own room — but visitors had been strictly limited to her family. Nadine and Johnny had both gone in and left after a few moments. Juliet wondered if it had been the guilt that made them leave — the knowledge that it was their selfish actions that had put their daughter in that bed.

She hoped they choked on it.

“Are you sure you want to stick around here?” Cameron asked quietly. “Mrs. Marquez doesn’t think anyone will be allowed in tonight that isn’t family.”

“I’m staying right here,” Juliet said stubbornly. “I want Amalia to know that someone who gives a damn was here with her.” She folded her arms across her chest and stared straight ahead. “I can sleep in a chair if I have to.”

“Jules–”

“Cam.” Molly touched his arm and drew him back. “Let’s go to Kelly’s and get something for everyone to eat.”

He followed her into the hallway and silently into the nearby elevator. Once the doors had slid closed, he leaned his forehead against the paneling. “I wish I had known how much pain Amalia was in. If I did–” Cameron shook his head and pressed his lips together.

“It wouldn’t have changed anything,” Molly said firmly. “You know the kind of damage parents can do without knowing. The way my dad just left for New York because he needed a change of scenery? The way my mother smothers us and tries to make decisions for us?”

“The fact my father refused to talk about my mom for over ten years?” Cameron was silent for a moment and the elevator arrived at the parking garage level. He led the way out of the elevator and pressed a hand to Molly’s lower back to steer her towards where he’d parked their car. “It makes me wonder…if maybe Dad had been more willing to open up…”

“If maybe your mom would have been found years ago?” Molly finished. She paused by the passenger side. “Don’t fall into that trap, Cam. Amalia Zacchara tried to kill herself because she let her parents inside her head so much that there wasn’t room for anything else.”

“Jules told me that Amalia was trying to get her parents back together.” He pressed the unlock button on his key chain. “I should have told her not to bother. That there was nothing a teenager could do to fix the damage Johnny and Nadine Zacchara did to themselves.” He paused. “But maybe I should have told her that there wasn’t anything Jules could do to fix Amalia. That she’d been poisoned by her parents.”

“I don’t believe that,” Molly said. She peered at him over the top of the car before sliding into the passenger side. “I believe that we make our own problems and our own solutions. Lia just…got lost for a little while. Maybe her parents will wake the hell up.”

General Hospital: Chapel

The first time Johnny Zacchara had met Nadine Crowell, it had been at a ball. She’d been wearing the same dress as Lulu Spencer and he’d grabbed her arm to get her away from his family.

She’d smiled and given him a smartass reply and had never once held it against him that his father tried to kill her later that night.

Then she’d saved his life, literally, by testifying that Sonny Corinthos had had murder on his mind the day he’d left the hospital after Michael Corinthos died. It had given his plea of self-defense the ring of truth.

Since the moment Nadine Crowell had entered his life, he’d never been the same. Standing here, in the doorway of the hospital chapel, watching his ex-wife light a candle at the altar, he wondered if maybe she regretted any of it.

“I used to tell myself that if I ever made the mistake of having children,” he said slowly, “that I would never be my father.”

Nadine slowly turned around and regarded him from across the room. “Well, you haven’t shot me yet, so I guess you made it work.”

He slid his hands into the pockets of his pants and felt every inch of his forty-one years. “Anthony Zacchara spent my entire life alternately smothering me and ignoring me. Controlling my every movement until the sole focus of my life was to escape him. I stood in that hospital room and I realized that I had done the exact same thing to my own daughter.”

“Johnny…” Nadine trailed off. She’d never known exactly how to react when he fell into these somber black moods. She’d been lucky that they’d been rare during the good times…and then she told herself not to care after those times had faded from memory. “You’re not the only guilty party.”

“What was my first reaction when you told me about Nikolas?” Johnny said. “Did I bother to congratulate you? To cooperate about custody? No. I threatened to take her away.” He exhaled in an exasperated huff. “Like she was a piece of jewelry I was punishing you with.”

“And my first reaction when you married Candy–”

“–Candace,” Johnny interrupted, more out of habit than anything else.

“I sued you for full custody. I’m the one that started this–”

“Nadine–” he held up his hand. “We both know that if I had taken different steps when we were married, or right after we divorced…we could have had a different relationship. We could have been different parents.”

“I was so angry with you when I walked out,” she murmured. “But it was twisted in the grief I was feeling about the baby, and the guilt for never having spoken to you about Lulu and how jealous I was. I could have agreed to counseling–we could have salvaged something–”

Johnny crossed the room and took Nadine’s hands in his. “I wish to God I had done something more to fight you, but I…” He shook his head.  “None of this matters anymore. We could spend the rest of the night one-upping each other on being bad parents, but it won’t solve our immediate problem.”

“I knew Amalia was unhappy,” Nadine said slowly. “When I told her that I didn’t expect her to come to London, that she could stay here, I didn’t…” She reached into the pockets of her scrubs and drew out the letter Jake had hurled at her. “She left a note. To explain herself.”

Johnny took it from her and slowly opened it.

 Mom,

 I don’t even know if this is the right thing to do. I guess I don’t know the right thing anymore. I thought if I could make you understand that Dad never meant to cheat on you, it would make it all better and we could be a family again, but that was stupid.

 I think that if I wasn’t here, you would both be so much happier. If I had never been born, you wouldn’t have married and then you guys wouldn’t be so miserable. I can’t go back and make that happen, but if I take myself out of the picture, Dad can’t use me to make you cry anymore.

 So you can go to London and you don’t have to have me tagging along and you don’t have to feel guilty about not wanting me there. Dad doesn’t have to come to Port Charles anymore and you guys can just forget any of this ever happened.

 But I guess that’s stupid, too. I don’t really know what to do anymore. I’m just tired of caring.

The sides of the paper began to crumple as Johnny clenched his fists and closed his eyes against the burn of tears. “She thinks we don’t love her.”

“She thinks we’d be better off without her,” Nadine murmured, a tear sliding aimlessly down her cheek. “She doesn’t understand that she’s been the only bright spot in my entire life.” Her shoulders began to shake and she slowly slid to the carpet

Johnny joined her on the floor and drew his ex-wife to his side. “I used to go into her bedroom at night–when we were still together–and just…marvel at the beautiful little girl God had blessed me with. I’d give anything to go back and just…tell her that she’s only thing that’s made my life worth anything since you left.”

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