When you’re standing at the crossroads
And don’t know which path to choose,
Let me come along,
‘Cause even if you’re wrong,
I’ll stand by you,
I’ll stand by you,
Won’t let nobody hurt you. 
— The Pretenders, I’ll Stand By You

---

Carly exited the guest room after tucking David and Delilah into the large bed. She rubbed her eyes wearily–Davie had once asked what was wrong with his mother–why she wasn’t tucking him in. When Carly couldn’t answer, he’d started crying again, leaving his older sister to hug him and soothe him asleep.

She ran into Michael who had been leaving the bathroom, a toothbrush still in his mouth. He stopped, seeing his mother, and pulled the red brush out of his mouth. “They okay?”

Carly sighed and rubbed her eyes. So many things were swirling around in her head. Jason, Elizabeth, Alexis, Christina, Ned, Michael, Sonny, Davie, Dee…Drew, Mandy. She was just so tired of secrets and of protecting them.

“Mom?” Michael asked concerned, reaching out to touch his mother’s shoulders. “You okay?”

Carly nodded. “Yeah.” She flashed him a brief smile. “Just a little tired. Long day.”

Michael nodded. “All right. How about the kids…they coping all right?”

“They’re confused,” Carly admitted. “They don’t understand what’s happening and it’s not my place to tell him. Jason called from the hospital earlier–they’re releasing Liz in two days.”

“You sure you’re okay, Mom?” Michael asked. “You just look…you look…” he stopped, unable to find the words. He just shrugged. “You look like something’s wrong.”

Tell him, a nagging little voice whispered. Tell him the truth and maybe you can save some shred of a life. Because Sonny’s going to find out–and Michael will want to know why he can’t take the test. Tell him. Carly wanted so badly to just tell Alexis to fuck off–to find another donor for her kid.

But while Carly was a selfish person and would always remain that way, she was first and foremost, a mother. And she knew without a doubt that if Michael were sick, she’d beg Courtney to test Jocelyn and Steven. She’d beg and she’d reveal any secret she’d have to save his life.

And because Carly could understand how difficult it was for Alexis to even broach the subject, she would do it for her. She would agree for Sonny to know the truth and for Mandy and Drew to be tested.

And if it came to the point where Sonny found out Carly had known and Michael found out that AJ was his father…well, it was a price Carly was willing to pay.

Because Christina Chloe Ashton had her father’s dimples.

“I’m fine,” Carly said again. “I was at the hospital today, and you know how that place can wear a person out.”

Michael nodded. “All right. Well, I’m going to bed.” He gave his mother a kiss on the cheek and he headed down the hallway to his room. Carly sighed and turned in the opposite direction towards the master bedroom.

Somehow, in the past ten years, Carly had managed to deal with the fact that Sonny would never know Christina and she’d rationalized it to the point where it didn’t bother her. Sonny had a full family in Michael, Amanda and Drew–he didn’t need Christina. And she obviously adored Alexis and Ned, so no one was actually suffering.

There’d been days when she didn’t even think about the secret that could cost her marriage, in fact weeks would go by without thinking about it. But every once in a while, it would sneak up on her and the guilt would be overwhelming.

And tonight–it was almost choking her.

She entered the bedroom and headed straight for the closet so that she could shed her day clothes and dress for the night. Once she was in a short cotton nightgown, she slipped under the covers and was content to fall asleep a few inches from her husband’s grasp.

Sonny had other ideas–and an arm wound around her waist, pulling her against his chest. Carly sighed and tried to snuggle into his embrace–but it felt suffocating and she could feel the tears in her eyes.

Because for some reason, she had this inexplicable feeling that Sonny was going to find out.

---

Elizabeth shifted in Jason’s arms and burrowed her face against his chest. He felt her move and tightened his arms around her. He was hoping this would be the last of Elizabeth shutting him out–but he knew better. He knew that she’d try again and again–because she’d learned the defense mechanism from him.

And just like Elizabeth had convinced him to trust her and to open up to her, Jason was going to do the same. He’d been so incredibly lucky to have her walk into life after he’d nearly lost her–he’d never make that mistake again.

He’d thought they were over–she’d started dating again. She’d been dating Lucky again. But one day out of the blue, she’d walked into his penthouse.

“Elizabeth. What…what are you doing here?”

She smiled nervously. “Truthfully? I…I’m not really sure.”

He stepped back from the door so that she could enter. She walked past him and turned to face as he closed the door. “Is everything okay?”

“No…nothing’s okay.” She looked down at her hands and started twisting a silver ring on her thumb. “I need…need to tell you…something.”

“All right.”

“Lucky told me last night that he loved me–”

“Elizabeth, I don’t–”

“Please,” She said softly, meeting his eyes. “Please,” she repeated, “let me finish. I promise…this isn’t like it used to be.” When he didn’t say anything, she continued. “He told me that he loved me and he looked at me like he was waiting for me to say it back. But…I…couldn’t. And I realized why I was even dating him. I was with him…to forget.”

“Forget what?” Jason asked after she didn’t continue.

“Forget you.” She looked down at the ground. “I told Lucky I could do it anymore–that I couldn’t keep pretending to be with someone that I didn’t care about just so I could pretend I wasn’t in love with someone else.”

His mouth suddenly felt dry. “You…you’re in love with someone?”

She looked at him apprehensively. “I’m in love with you.” She looked away almost as quickly as she had looked at him. She bit her lip as she struggled with her next words. “I know…I know that it doesn’t mean anything anymore…but I just thought…I thought you should know that I’m sorry.”

He stared at her for a few minutes but she didn’t remove her gaze from the wooden floor. Finally, he said, “It does mean something.”

She looked up then, a flicker of hope in her eyes. “It…it does?”

He nodded. “Yeah. It means a lot. Elizabeth…I love you.”

They hadn’t gotten together officially until later, on Christmas Day. It’d been a slow process, but she’d moved back into the penthouse six months later, in the early summer. And then, Christmas Day 2006, they’d gotten married. Delilah had been born two years later, David after another two years and they were going to have a third child–one last baby to complete their family. Her grandmother had passed away shortly after David was born, leaving them her house. Elizabeth had wanted to name the baby after either Audrey or her grandfather, Steve.

Elizabeth stirred again and he looked down at her. Her eyes were open, peering up at him “Hi.”

“Hi.”

She pulled her arms away from him and rolled over onto her back, turning her head towards the window where the sun was rising. “You should go. Dee and Davie are probably upset.”

“You’re leaving the hospital tomorrow,” Jason told her. “They’ll be fine with Sonny and Carly until then.”

“I appreciate you being here,” she said, “but they need you more than me. They need to sleep in their own beds, in their own rooms. I just…I want to be alone.”

“I told you–I’m not leaving you,” Jason started.

“Jason, please don’t make me call security again,” she said softly. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“Because that’s not what you really want,” Jason said.

“Yes it is,” she replied.

“Elizabeth.”

“What?” she asked.

“Look at me.”

“Jason…” she sighed and turned her face towards him. “Please go home. Get changed. Take a real nap, eat some real food. You’ve been in this hospital for two days now.”

“Don’t do that,” Jason said, touching the side of her face. “You know that there’s no where else I’d rather be.”

She managed a small smile–a fake one–but a smile nonetheless. “Jason…it’s not just the two of us anymore. Dee and Davie are probably so worried and confused.”

He took a deep breath and looked away. “You’re right.” He brought his eyes back to meet hers. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll go home, shower, change and eat. I’ll go to the penthouse and spend some time with the kids. I’ll bring them to the hospital so they’ll know you’re okay.”

“And then you’ll take them back to the house tonight,” Elizabeth finished.

“Elizabeth–”

“Jason, don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

“All right,” he finally conceded. “I’ll go home tonight. But I’m coming back first thing in the morning.”

---

Alexis paced the corridor outside of Christie’s room early that morning waiting for Carly to show up. They hadn’t gotten anything resolved the day before other than the fact that the truth had to be told but it couldn’t come from Carly.

She darted a look towards the bed where her daughter was sleeping peacefully and sent a silent prayer up swearing that if they got out of this reasonably unscathed, she’d never ask for another thing again.

She heard Carly’s telltale heels and turned to see the blonde walking briskly down the hall. She looked as though she’d just gotten out of bed, with a plain black tank top and blue jeans. She had her long hair pulled into a tight ponytail and the sound of her black boots clicked against the floor as she approached.

“Morning,” Carly said. She handed Alexis one of the coffee cups she was carrying. Alexis accepted it gratefully and darted another look at Christie. “How is she?” Carly asked quietly.

“She’s still sick,” Alexis replied. “The chemo…it’s wearing on her.” She looked back at her. “So, how do you want to do this?”

Carly sipped her coffee and didn’t answer for a few minutes. Alexis recognized that the woman was in a difficult place–she stood to lose more than Alexis–her husband and her son’s trust. Finally, Carly said, “I think the best thing to do is just to tell him. Sit him down, explain Christie’s condition first. And then tell him the truth.” She bit her lip. “I can’t guarantee how soon he’ll tell me, but the second he does, I’ll have Mandy and Drew here being tested, I promise.”

“I haven’t told you this yet,” Alexis began softly, “but this means a lot to me. You have no idea–”

“I’m not doing this for you,” Carly cut in. She looked in at Christie. “I’m doing this because she is his daughter and that means something to me. I’m doing this because I know you feel. If one of AJ’s kids were sick, I wouldn’t hesitate–I’d have Michael tested in a heartbeat. I love my children–they’ve made me a better person and I never want another woman to lose a child.”

“You’re thinking about your miscarriage,” Alexis said.

“That and I’m thinking about Elizabeth’s, too,” Carly replied. “I’m hoping to stop in and see her today.”

“How is she?” Alexis asked.

Carly shrugged. “I don’t know. I stopped by yesterday and saw Jason. She’d kicked him out of her room.”

Alexis frowned. “That doesn’t sound like her.”

“Well, she was six months pregnant.” Carly rubbed her eyes, exhausted. She’d barely gotten any sleep the night before, the guilt keeping her awake. “She and Jason had felt the baby kick, they’d had ultrasounds, started the nursery. You know, it’s not easy to lose a baby that late. Sometimes it’s easy when you’re not showing and no one else knows.”

“Ned stopped by her room last night but she was already asleep,” Alexis said.

Carly knitted her eyebrows together in confusion. “I hadn’t realized she and Ned knew each other all that well.”

“Elizabeth worked for Ned a long time ago and she was good friends with Chloe Morgan–remember her? Well, with her being married to Jason and being friends with Emily, she and Ned are always in contact. They’re good friends.” A troubled look crossed her face. “She wanted to test Davie and Dee–she knew the chances were low since Jason and Ned are only cousins, but the idea was nice.” Alexis shot a look at Carly. “I thought about asking AJ since Courtney is Sonny’s sister, which meant Jocelyn and Steven are Christie’s cousins, but…I didn’t. I don’t want to take any chances. Mandy, Eddie and Drew are her only siblings–and Eddie doesn’t match.”

Carly nodded. “Well, I’m going to stop by Liz’s room. When are you going to be doing it? I’ll make sure I’m not at the penthouse.”

Alexis sighed and looked through the window where Christie was moving around restlessly. “Sometime today I suppose,” she murmured. “I have to get in with her–she’s going to be up soon.”

“Well, I’ll see you later,” Carly replied. She turned and headed back down the hall.

---

Michael and Lu were at the penthouse when Jason arrived, lounging on the couch and flipping through channels. He had to smile at the two–Lu was lying down with her head in Michael’s lap and he had his feet on the coffee table.

At his entrance, Lu tilted her head up to look. “Aloha, Jase. How are ya?””

“I’m good, Lu. Hey, Michael. Where are…?”

“Daddy!”

Delilah all but flew down the steps and was a blonde blur as she streaked towards her father. Her flying leap only brought her to about his knees, but Jason pulled up in his arms easily.

“Hey,” he said, grinning at the blue-eyed blonde who was hugging him.

“I miss you so much,” Dee chirped. “You bringing me and Davie home? We gonna see Mama?”

“We’re going to see Mama in a few hours,” Jason said. “And yes, I’m bringing you and Davie home.”

Dee started bouncing, excited. “Is Mama gonna be at home?”

“No, but she’ll be home tomorrow,” Jason replied.

Dee’s excited smile fell from her face. “Where’s Mama?” she asked, her lower lip trembling.

“Mama’s a little sick,” Jason explained in quiet voice. “She’s in the hospital.”

“Like Gramma?” Dee asked, scrunching her face.

Jason frowned. “You remember that?”

Dee nodded solemnly. “Gramma was in a big white bed with lots of tubes.” Dee bit her lip. “Does Mama have tubes?”

“Not like your grandmother,” Jason said. “She only has one so she can stay healthy.”

“What’s wrong with her?” Dee asked softly. “Why isn’t Mama home?”

“One thing at a time.” Jason put her back on her feet and grasped her little hand in his. “Where’s your brother?”

“He’s upstairs, taking his nap,” Dee said importantly. “I tucked him in all by myself.”

“Uh oh,” Lu giggled. She looked at Jason. “You might want to check on him. The last time Dee tucked him in, she tied the blanket in a knot.”

Jason grinned down at his daughter who was peering up at him with an impish smile. “That’s my girl. Did you use the knot Daddy showed you?” Dee nodded eagerly and Jason tousled her hair. “Wait down here with your cousins and I’ll get your brother. We’re going out to eat and then we’re gonna see Mama.”

“Yay!” Dee exclaimed, clapping her hands. Jason headed up the stairs to unravel his son from whatever knot Delilah had tied him in this time, leaving the blonde downstairs to torture her cousins.

Dee studied her cousin Michael very carefully and he stared back at her with an amused expression. “Can I help you?'” he asked.

Dee shrugged. “Just trying to figure out what Mandy meant.”

Lu tossed a confused look up at her cousin before looking at Dee. “What did Mandy mean?”

“She said that Mikey didn’t look like no one in the family,” Dee said, pulling herself onto the couch. “Cuz they both gots blonde hair and tan skin and you’s got brown hair and white skin. Plus, you’s got blue eyes and everyone else gots brown.”

Michael frowned. “Mandy said all this?”

Dee nodded. “Yup. Everything ‘cept the eyes thing. That’s all me.” She grinned proudly.

---

Carly knocked on Elizabeth’s hospital door lightly and pushed the already ajar door open. “Hey.”

Elizabeth shifted to a seated position and brushed her hair out of her face. “Hi.”

“Mind if I come in?” Carly asked.

Elizabeth frowned. “Why?”

“You know what? I’m sorry if I’m a little concerned since you are my best friend’s wife–”

“I’m sorry,” Elizabeth sighed. “Yeah. Come in.”

Carly closed the door behind her and entered the room. “Where’s Jason?”

“I made him go home,” Elizabeth replied. “He’s been here since…he hasn’t changed and I doubt he’s had anything–”

“Stop it, okay?” Carly said, folding her arms. “I’ve had a rough couple days so do not sit there and pretend that you sending Jason away has anything to with anyone but you.”

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. “How dare you–”

“You’re sittin’ in here…lights off–” Carly paused to flick the light switch on, “–feelin’ sorry for yourself and all the while your husband who adores you has been roasting his ass on the sorry excuse for chairs in the hallway.”

Elizabeth looked away. “I just…I just wanted to be alone. I wanted to sit in the dark and be alone. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”

“Why?” Carly challenged. “Why won’t you let Jason support you?”

Elizabeth looked down at her white sheets. “Because I don’t want support,” she said quietly. “I just want to be alone.”

A strange smile crossed Carly’s face. “Oh my God.”

Elizabeth regarded her with suspicious eyes. “What?”

“You’re a selfish bitch.”

“What? How dare–”

“I knew you weren’t perfect!” Carly crowed triumphantly. She pulled a chair up to the side of Elizabeth’s bed and sat down. “Good, now maybe we can talk.”

“Wait, what’s wrong with you?” Elizabeth asked.

“You…you’re not pretending to be perfect and you’re not trying to do what’s right for everyone for once.” Carly leaned back in her chair and smirked. “It’s refreshing. You want to be alone and miserable and damn what Jason wants from you, you’re gonna do it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before.”

Elizabeth just shook her head. “I always knew you were crazy.”

“All joking aside, though, Elizabeth,” Carly said, her voice suddenly serious. She leaned forward. “I am sorry for what’s going on–I’ve been where you are and it’s not fun.”

“Thanks,” Elizabeth replied. “So, what are you doing here…at the hospital?”

Carly frowned. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“You and I aren’t the best of friends, so I don’t think your sole reason was to come and see me.” Elizabeth cocked her head to the side. “So, why are you here?”

Carly’s spine stiffened. “Business.”

Elizabeth cracked a tiny smile. “You’ve been married to Sonny too long.”

Carly rolled her eyes. “Tell me about it.” She fell silent, realizing that her marriage might be coming to its end. “So, when are you getting out?”

“Tomorrow,” Elizabeth replied.

Carly hesitated but finally decided to go for it. “Jason tells me you’re a good listener…is that true?”

“I guess. I’ve never had any complaints.” Elizabeth cocked her head to the side. “Why?”

Carly bit her lip and looked away. Could she trust Elizabeth? After so many years, was it possible that Carly could confide in her without her reporting to Jason who’d tell Sonny? “Are you a friend first or a wife?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Elizabeth asked.

“Where does your loyalty lie?” Carly asked. “If I told you something that Sonny didn’t know, would you tell Jason?”

“No!” Elizabeth replied, slightly horrified. “I’d never break someone confidence. Trust is important to me–and Jason knows I’d never do it.”

Elizabeth’s assurance helped but Carly was still reluctant to put Elizabeth in the middle of it. She was going through a tough time–she didn’t need Carly’s baggage added on. “I don’t think I’ll tell you…not right now.”

“Carly, you’re not…you’re not in any trouble are you?” Elizabeth asked.

Carly shook her head. “No.” She neglected to mention that if Sonny ever found she knew…

Well, if he found out, she’d be more than in trouble. She’d probably be looking at divorce papers.

“No, I’m not,” Carly continued, “but if I find out I am…can I talk to you?”

“Sure,” Elizabeth said. She grimaced. “Anything so Jason will think I’m not retreating into myself.”

Carly stood. “Don’t worry–it’s going to be okay. It’s going to be tough at first…because you’ll wonder if there was anything you could have done differently, but eventually you realize that things happen for a reason.” She looked down at the floor. “Sonny and my child…it was created during a night that never should have happened and as much as it hurt then and still hurts now…I don’t think that child was meant to be born.” She met Elizabeth’s eyes. “Don’t do anything because you want Jason to think you’re okay. You’ll be okay in your own time and Jason will never push you…well…not until he gets way too irritated, but you and I both know that never happens.”

Carly left then, leaving Elizabeth to wonder what Carly was up to this time.

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