ETA: I really wanted to come back tonight, but it’s just not in the cards. I definitely won’t be able to do it Tues/Wed unless my school closes, lol, I’ll see you Thursday!

Update Link: Masquerade – Part 3

I feel like the last month has been super frustrating in so many ways, and I am so irritated because I spent the entire summer trying to prep myself to make life easier for me. Ugh. Anyway, I’m gonna go into more detail below, so if you care, click the Read More link, but if you don’t, that’s fine, lol.  There’s nothing story-related other than an explanation for why some deadlines might not be met even though Flash Fiction gets posted.

I’m working very hard to make those These Small Hours Book 2 & 3 deadlines, and I have no reason right now to expect they won’t happen. Except the universe and I aren’t friends right now. If this was the price I had to pay for the Liason hug the other day and Sam’s imminent death–

Anyway. Right now, the plan is to do flash on Monday and maybe Thursday.  But I wanted to make up for not coming back on Friday (me and the printer had a fight, and then the Roku declared war, but I think I won.) See you tomorrow!

I know I don’t “owe” any explanations, and honestly, no one’s really asking for them. 99% of the time, the only person I’m letting down is myself, and I’m fully aware of that. But sometimes I need to reason out my decisions, so I can avoid the inevitable anxiety spiral that happens when I don’t come through on something I promised you guys or myself. I set unrealistic expectations, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to resolve that fatal flaw, lol.

Uh, probably the first thing to explain is why I increased Flash Fiction this last week even when I’m talking about being overwhelmed at work or not having time for writing. It’s just because Flash demands very little for me. I throw together an update post, I type for 60 minutes, and I go on with my life. When I sit down to work on the novels, I have to think about what I’ve already written, make sure this scene fits in with the plan, the beats line up, etc. It’s just a different type of creative energy. It’s one of the reasons I’m taking a break from Chain Reaction because it’s plot-heavy, and I’m struggling with keeping track of details.

I really was prepared to go back this year. I created content for my French I class that took me through this upcoming week, and for my French II, I’m still mostly prepped through November. But in my head, I really didn’t account for the supporting materials. For a lot of reasons that aren’t relevant, I create everything my kids get from scratch. I write my textbooks, which means I have to put together the supporting website, create the assignments from scratch, and even write my own grading rubrics. That’s before I even consider the instructional content — once you write the content, how do you deliver that content? Then you get into the bureaucracy — the benchmarks, the lesson plans, professional development, department meetings, testing — all of it can just be overwhelming, and I think most teachers just don’t think about all of it because if you really think about everything that goes into the lesson, you’ll quit on the spot. I learned a lot last year about creating a full year of French, and I’m going into this year rewriting 80% of what I did last year. It’s the right choice, and I’m already seeing the improvement in my French I kids, but it’s a lot of work and energy.

So I mostly had September prepped before I went back, thinking that I would spend part of September getting back up to speed, then work to stay ahead and on track. But then I got sick literally the first Friday, and spent the first full week of classes with little zero energy and no voice. And then, well, I lost my cat Sasha that second Friday. It just all sort of piled up, and I never really got a handle on it.

Now, I have to start a new unit in French I on October 15, and I only started writing the textbook on Friday. I need to write 33 lessons by the end of Monday, Oct 14. And teach a full-time job. Also, my benchmarks need to be graded, so I have to write the rubric. I also have to set up a letter exchange with a French school for my Honors kids. We’re also starting a new chapter this week in French II, so I have to write the website content and create the instructional content. Plus, we’re doing a media event every Friday, and I have to put together activities for this week. That’s before I come home and deal with the rest of being an adult.

Really, the only fun things I get to do anymore is writing and watch baseball (but it’s the postseason so that’s not helping lol). Flash Fiction is easier and quicker than the novel. I’m always going to choose the fun option, lol. And it’s also the option that means you get to read more faster).

I’m going to get to everything, and I still think I’ll make the December/January dates for Flash. I mean, I have to write 33 lessons for a digital textbook, and I already have six of them done after starting on Friday night. If you want to see what I mean, here’s the work in progress: Unité 1. I know how to focus and work fast, but I cannot wait for this unit to be written because I won’t need a new one until January.

I’ll see you guys tomorrow for another update!

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